Original subtitles

UHH, I CAN'T STAND SUSAN NOONAN.

SHE'S SUCH A GOSSIP.

DON'T EVER TRUST HER WITH ANYTHING, DIANE.

YOU KNOW WHAT SHE ONCE TOLD ME?

AND DON'T EVER SAY ANYTHING TO ANYONE

'CAUSE I PROMISED HER I WOULDN'T TELL.

SHE TOLD ME THAT HER SISTER WAS BORN

BEFORE HER PARENTS WERE ACTUALLY MARRIED.

ISN'T THAT COOL?

I HAD TO HELP YOUR MOM WITH THE GROCERIES.

OH, YOU WANTED TO HELP HER 'CAUSE I HAD YOU BEAT.

YEAH, RIGHT.

COME ON. I HAD YOU BY 5 POINTS TILL THE BUZZER CAME ON.

I GOT TO GO, DIANE.

THE 'RENTS JUST CAME IN.

NO WAY. TELL ME.

WHAT DID YOU BUY ME?

NOTHING. GET OUT OF THERE.

DAD, I THINK YOU SHOULD PUT A LIGHT OUTSIDE

SO WE CAN PLAY BASKETBALL AT NIGHT.

YOU KNOW, YOU GOT A LIGHT ON YOUR DESK

SO YOU CAN DO YOUR HOMEWORK.

DON'T DO THAT IN THE HOUSE.

DARLENE.

DARLENE, SET THE TABLE.

I'LL DO IT!

GO AHEAD, MR. SUCK-UP.

NOBODY BUYS YOUR GOODY-GOODY ACT.

MOMMY BUYS IT.

HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT, KID?

IT COULD BE PRETTY CLOSE THERE FRIDAY NIGHT.

NO WAY. JORDAN IS UNSTOPPABLE.

I DON'T KNOW. THINGS GET PRETTY HAIRY

WITH FAT LEVER AT POINT GUARD.

OH, PLEASE.

WHAT'S A POINT GUARD? FORGET IT.

MOM, I CAN'T REACH THE PLATES.

BIG GAME FRIDAY NIGHT, BABY.

WHAT KIND OF GAME?

BASKETBALL. HOOPS. B-BALL.

PULSES RACE AS THE TOWERING CHICAGO BULLS

PAY ME.

MOM, I CAN'T REACH THE GLASSES.

HOW CAN SOMEONE NOT APPRECIATE BASKETBALL?

WELL, IT'S EASY.

YOU JUST SLOUCH ON THE SOFA NEXT TO YOUR HUSBAND,

YOU WATCH THESE GUYS RUN UP AND DOWN THE COURT

A COUPLE HUNDRED TIMES,

AND THEN IT BECOMES ALMOST HYPNOTIC.

YOU GET REALLY BORED.

YOU'RE SITTING THERE THINKING, "WAIT A MINUTE.

I HAVE NO LIFE."

THIS MESSAGE WAS NOT BROUGHT TO YOU

BY THE NATIONAL BASKETBALL ASSOCIATION.

I THINK I'M GOING OUT WITH JIMMY ON FRIDAY NIGHT.

TALK ABOUT HAVING NO LIFE.

YEAH, I BET YOU HAVE SOME REAL MAJOR PLANS.

I'M WATCHING THE GAME WITH DAD.

AH, THE SON I NEVER HAD.

HEY, I'M WATCHING THE GAME, TOO!

OK.

HONEY, I INVITED A FEW OF THE FELLAS OVER FRIDAY NIGHT.

YEAH, ARE YOU ASKING ME OR TELLING ME?

OH, COME ON. IT'S AN OCCASION.

WELL, LET'S BREAK OUT

THE HARVEY'S BRISTOL CREAM, SHALL WE?

WHAT TIME'S THE KICKOFF?

TIP-OFF IS AT 7:00.

WELL, YOU AIN'T GONNA WATCH IT ANYWAYS, DARLENE,

UNTIL YOU DO YOUR HOMEWORK.

REMEMBER, WE HAD THIS DISCUSSION?

YEAH, BUT THIS IS A FRIDAY NIGHT.

SINCE WHEN DO I HAVE TO DO MY HOMEWORK ON A FRIDAY NIGHT?

SINCE I GOT YOUR LAST REPORT CARD.

WELL, THE ONLY HOMEWORK I'M GONNA HAVE TO DO THIS WEEKEND

IS TO WRITE A STUPID POEM FOR ENGLISH.

WELL, YOU CAN WRITE A POEM.

YEAH, BUT IT HAS TO BE STUPID.

OH, KNOCK IT OFF, YOU GUYS.

ANYWAYS, WRITING POETRY'S KIND OF FUN, YOU KNOW?

YOU GET TO BE CREATIVE AND EXPRESSIVE.

I DON'T WANT TO BE EXPRESSIVE.

I COULDN'T CARE LESS ABOUT POETRY.

I JUST WANT TO GRADUATE HIGH SCHOOL

SO I CAN GET ON WITH MY LIFE

SO I CAN GET A JOB AND GET OUT OF THIS HELLHOLE TOWN!

BUT IF YOU COULD BE EXPRESSIVE,

WHAT WOULD YOU SAY?

HEY, HOW YOU DOING THERE, SYLVIA PLATH?

WHO'S SYLVIA PLATH?

OH, SHE WAS THIS BRILLIANT POET,

FULL OF PASSION, ANGST, AND WHATEVER.

SHE INSPIRED QUITE A FEW WOMEN. LIKE MOI.

UH-OH. WHAT'S THAT?

WELL, I WAS IN THE GARAGE,

AND I WENT THROUGH THIS TRUNK,

AND I FOUND ALL THESE POEMS I WROTE WHEN I WAS IN SCHOOL.

I THOUGHT MAYBE IT'D HELP YOU.

HELP? YOU SAVED ME.

SO WHICH ONE SHOULD I COPY?

HEY!

OW.

"THE SKY... DRIPS DOWN...

LIKE DRAGON'S TEETH."

"THE EARTH SIGHS...

"BENDING TO MY TOUCH.

I AM MELTING."

YOU HAD TO BE THERE.

WELL, I GUESS "THERE" MUST MEAN MARS.

WELL, THERE'S OTHER POEMS IN THERE

THAT AREN'T QUITE SO EARTHY.

WHY'D YOU WRITE THESE?

BECAUSE I WANTED TO.

WELL, I CAN'T WRITE ABOUT THIS KIND OF STUFF.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

"WRITE A POEM

"ABOUT SOMETHING THAT GIVES YOU A HAPPY FEELING.

"FOR EXAMPLE--

A TREE, A RAINBOW, YOUR--HEH HEH--FAMILY."

YOU CAN WRITE ABOUT WHATEVER YOU WANT.

YEAH, AS LONG AS IT GIVES ME "A HAPPY FEELING."

OH, COME OFF IT, DARLENE.

JUST 'CAUSE YOUR TEACHER'S A LITTLE WET

DOESN'T MEAN THAT ALL POETRY STINKS.

ANYWAY, POETRY'S REALLY COOL.

I LOVED TO WRITE IT

WHEN I WAS IN SCHOOL.

WELL, YEAH, BUT YOU WERE A NERD.

I WAS NOT A NERD.

DAD SAID YOU WERE A NERD IN SCHOOL.

WELL, CONSIDER THE SOURCE.

ANYWAY, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THESE PEOPLE

LIKE, YOU KNOW, EDIE BRICKELL OR CHRISSIE HYNDE

OR RICKIE LEE JONES?

YOU THINK THEY'RE NERDS?

I GET THE POINT.

SO, WHAT WOULD MAKE YOU HAPPY?

I DON'T KNOW. A TREE!

OK, DEEJ.

YOU CALL US WHEN YOU'RE READY,

AND WE'LL COME AND PICK YOU UP. OK, BYE.

YEAH, GOOD LUCK.

WHERE'S HE AT, AT JANET'S?

YEAH. JANET'S MOM INVITED HIM TO STAY FOR DINNER.

SAYS HE'S GOING TO MARRY JANET.

SHE PROPOSED TO HIM.

CAN YOU BLAME HER?

HE'S GOT HIS DADDY'S CHARM.

YEAH, AND EVERYTHING ELSE.

AH, WELL, YOU TELL YOURSELF

WHATEVER YOU WANT, DAN.

IS DARLENE OUT THERE?

SHE'S DOING HER HOMEWORK.

IT'S A THEORY.

YOU KNOW, I JUST DON'T GET IT.

WRITING IS SOMETHING THAT DARLENE COULD BE REALLY, REALLY GOOD AT.

I MEAN, SHE'S EXPRESSIVE,

YOU KNOW, SHE'S CREATIVE, SHE HAS PENCILS.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

HELLO.

HEY, JOEY. IT'S JOEY L.

JOEY, WHAT'S THE WORD?

ARE YOU COMING OVER HERE

TO WATCH THE GAME TOMORROW NIGHT?

HEY, JUST TELL YOUR WIFE--

ONE SECOND.

LET ME TAKE THIS IN THE HALL.

SO WHERE'S YOU AND WHAT'S-HIS-FACE GOING ON FRIDAY?

OUT.

OH, WELL, YOU'LL HAVE A REAL GOOD TIME.

YOUR DADDY AND I USED TO GO THERE ALL THE TIME.

ARE YOU GONNA STAY HERE WITH DAD AND WATCH THE GAME?

UH-UH. AUNT JACKIE'S COMING OVER.

WHAT ARE YOU GUYS GONNA DO?

DRINK BEER AND SHOOT AT MAILBOXES.

COOL.

GREAT. I'LL RESERVE THE BLUE CHAIR FOR YOU.

HA HA HA HA HA!

[DOORBELL RINGS] I'LL GET IT.

ALL RIGHT. BREAK IT TO ME GENTLY.

HOW MANY? FIVE, SIX TOPS.

NOW YOU UNDERSTAND I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THEIR I.Q.s.

I'M TALKING ABOUT THE NUMBER OF YOUR NASTY FRIENDS

THAT ARE GONNA BE IN MY LIVING ROOM ON FRIDAY.

HONEY, IT'S JUST A COUPLE OF FRIENDS.

WE'LL BE CIVILIZED, I PROMISE.

CIVILIZED? YEAH.

THIS TIME WE'LL COOK THE WOOLLY MAMMOTH

BEFORE WE EAT IT.

HELLO, HELLO, HELLO.

HI, CRYSTAL.

I FINALLY GOT THAT EYE SHADOW YOU ORDERED--

VIOLET ICE.

OH, SO THAT'S WHERE YOU AND JIMMY ARE GOING-- TO VEGAS.

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

I GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU, TOO, DAN.

NOW, CRYSTAL, YOU KNOW I RARELY WEAR EYE SHADOW ANYMORE.

BOYS ON THE JOB SITE

GIVE ME SUCH GUFF ABOUT IT.

NOW STOP.

HERE YOU GO.

OOH, STALLION.

HE DON'T NEED THAT, CRYSTAL.

HE ALREADY SMELLS LIKE A HORSE.

DON'T YOU, HONEY?

[WHINNYING]

WHAT DID YOU BRING ME?

OH, BATH BEADS,

MADE WITH REAL MILK.

WELL, GREAT. THEN WHEN I'M SOAKING AND I GET HUNGRY,

I'LL JUST ADD SOME CHEERIOS.

ROSEANNE, I GOT SOMETHING I WANT TO READ YOU.

IT'S A POEM THAT LONNIE WROTE FOR SCHOOL.

I JUST THOUGHT YOU'D GET A KICK OUT OF IT.

"MY MOM.

"BY LONNIE ANDERSON.

"MY MOM THINKS ABOUT ME FIRST AND HERSELF LAST.

"WHEN I'M GETTING DRESSED, SHE MAKES ME BREAKFAST.

"SHE PUTS ME ON THE BUS AND COMBS MY HAIR,

"AND WHEN I'M AT SCHOOL, SHE ISN'T THERE.

"BUT SHE'S AT HOME WHEN I GET BACK.

"FOR MAKING DINNER SHE HAS A KNACK.

"IT'S NICE WHEN SHE PUTS ME IN BED

BECAUSE IT'S LATE AND I'M TIRE-ED."

"I LOVE MY MOM,

"AND I'M GLAD THAT SHE'S MY MOM

AND NOT SOMEBODY ELSE OR SOMETHING."

ISN'T THAT THE SWEETEST THING YOU EVER HEARD?

I THINK IT'S GREAT.

OH, IT'S TERRIBLE, BUT IT'S JUST SO SWEET, ISN'T IT?

IT'S ADORABLE.

HERE YOU GO, CRYSTAL.

3.50, RIGHT?

THANK YOU, HONEY.

SO, WHERE'S YOUR LITTLE POETIC GENIUS?

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

WHY, DARLENE, SILLY. DIDN'T YOU HEAR YET?

HEAR WHAT?

WELL, MAYBE I OUGHT TO LET DARLENE TELL YOU.

COME ON, CRYSTAL.

DARLENE'S POEM GOT PICKED BEST IN HER CLASS.

SHE'S GONNA READ IT FOR THE SCHOOL TOMORROW NIGHT.

IT'S CULTURE NIGHT.

YOU'RE KIDDING.

HOW COME DARLENE DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING?

I HOPE I DIDN'T SPOIL THE SURPRISE.

DARLENE, WILL YOU COME DOWN HERE FOR A MINUTE?

SWEETIE!

WELL, SHE FINALLY DOES GOOD IN SCHOOL,

AND SHE DOESN'T EVEN TELL US ABOUT IT.

PROBABLY STILL IN SHOCK.

WHAT?

LOOK. LOOK, IT'S THE FAMOUS PERSON AS A YOUNG CHILD.

HOW COME YOU DIDN'T TELL US?

CRYSTAL, YOU HAVE A BIG MOUTH.

DARLENE. DARLENE.

DARLENE. DARLENE.

DARLENE. DARLENE.

DARLENE. DARLENE.

THIS IS EXACTLY THE REASON

I'M NOT GOING TO CULTURE NIGHT.

WHAT, ARE YOU ASHAMED OF YOUR TALENT?

NO. I'M ASHAMED OF MY PARENTS.

WELL, SO IS EVERYBODY.

IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THAT.

MOM, I'M NOT GOING. YOU GOTTA SAY I'M SICK.

BUT WHY WOULDN'T YOU WANT TO GO?

I MEAN, THIS IS YOUR SHOT,

THIS IS LIKE WINNING THE BIG GAME.

MOM, YOU CAN'T MAKE ME GO.

AND IF YOU TRY AND MAKE ME READ MY POEM

IN FRONT OF THE GEEKOID MASSES,

YOU'LL HAVE TO THROW A NET AROUND ME

AND DRAG ME OUT OF THE HOUSE LIKE A DEAD SEAL.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

TO GET THE NET.

YOU KNOW, I THINK YOU'RE JUST BEING PIGHEADED ABOUT THIS.

WELL, I THINK YOU'RE BEING PIGHEADED ABOUT IT, ROSEANNE.

YOU KNOW, YOU'RE STARTING TO SOUND LIKE MY DAD.

"WORK SMART, DANNY, NOT HARD.

BE A SALESMAN."

I'M NOT--I'M NOT GONNA DO IT.

I'M NOT GONNA PUSH OUR KIDS LIKE THAT.

WELL, I DON'T WANT TO, EITHER.

THEN WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL

ABOUT MAKING DARLENE READ THIS STUPID POEM?

IT IS CALLED POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT, DAN.

YOU KNOW, JUST ONCE, IF MY PARENTS WOULD'VE EVER TOLD ME,

"HEY, ROSEANNE, YOU'RE GOOD AT THAT,"

I MIGHT BE STANDING IN FRONT OF YOU RIGHT NOW

MOPPING A BIGGER, MORE LUXURIOUS KITCHEN.

IT'S WET!

GO USE THE PHONE IN MY ROOM.

I'M TALKING TO YOUR DAD.

I DON'T NEED TO USE THE PHONE.

OH, LET ME GET THAT ON TAPE.

YOU KNOW, I REALLY DON'T THINK

YOU SHOULD MAKE DARLENE GO TO CULTURE NIGHT.

OH, YEAH? AND WHY IS THAT?

BECAUSE IT'S TOTALLY GEEKY.

I MEAN, YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE.

THERE'S PAINTINGS, THE SCHOOL BAND,

READINGS, AND STUFF.

OH, YOU MEAN, LIKE ART?

YEAH. BUT STRICTLY THE BOW TIE SET.

I MEAN, EVERYONE'S GONNA THINK DARLENE'S A BIG SUCK-UP

IF SHE GOES.

WHY, THANK YOU, MISS CONNER.

NO FURTHER QUESTIONS.

YOU CAN TELL YOUR CLIENT SHE CAN GET HERSELF A NEW ATTORNEY.

SO YOU'RE GONNA MAKE HER GO?

NOBODY'S MAKING ANYBODY DO ANYTHING.

GREAT. I'LL TELL HER.

BECKY, MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS.

IF YOU REALLY WANT TO HELP AROUND HERE, JUST STAY OUT OF IT.

FINE. IF YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR KIDS,

I GUESS THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO.

SHE DIDN'T BUY IT, DARLENE.

YOU WERE TERRIBLE.

I'M JUST GETTING FED UP.

WE OWE IT TO DARLENE TO MAKE HER DO THIS,

AND SHE'S DOING IT.

THAT'S FUNNY 'CAUSE I THOUGHT DARLENE HAD 2 PARENTS,

AND THIS WAS A DECISION THAT BOTH OF THEM SHOULD BE INVOLVED IN.

WELL, LOOK, OK, WE OBVIOUSLY DISAGREE,

AND WE HAVE TO COME TO SOME KIND OF A DECISION.

AND ONE OF US IS GONNA BE WRONG.

NOW YOU JUST GIVE ME THE CHANCE TO BE WRONG THIS TIME.

LOOK, NO MATTER WHAT WE DO,

WE'RE GOING TO SCREW OUR KIDS UP.

YOU LET ME MESS UP DARLENE,

AND YOU CAN HAVE BECKY.

WHAT ABOUT D.J.?

WE'LL FLIP FOR IT.

YOU KNOW, THIS WHOLE THING

IS MISS MILLER'S FAULT.

IF I'D KNOWN ANYONE ELSE WAS GONNA SEE THIS POEM,

I NEVER WOULD'VE WRITTEN IT.

I HAVEN'T SEEN IT.

YOU'RE NOT GONNA.

NO, BUT I AM GOING TO HEAR IT BEING READ.

LIVE...AND ON STAGE.

PLEASE, MOM, I'M BEGGING YOU.

I'LL CLEAN WHATEVER YOU WANT ME TO CLEAN.

I JUST REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY,

REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY,

REALLY DON'T WANT TO DO THIS.

REALLY?

COME ON, MOM.

I WROTE THE POEM, OK? I DID MY ASSIGNMENT.

WHY CAN'T WE JUST LEAVE IT AT THAT?

WHAT ARE YOU SO AFRAID OF?

I'M NOT AFRAID OF ANYTHING.

WELL, YOU JUST GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON,

YOU GIVE ME THE TRUTH,

AND MAYBE I WON'T MAKE YOU DO IT.

THE TRUTH?

YEAH. YOU KNOW, THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT YOU USUALLY TELL ME.

THE TRUTH IS...

MY POEM SUCKS.

I WROTE IT IN, LIKE, 10 MINUTES.

I JUST BLABBED IT OUT ON A PIECE OF PAPER.

IT'S A JOKE.

MISS MILLER DOESN'T THINK SO.

WELL, MISS MILLER'S AN IDIOT.

THE ONLY REASON SHE PICKED MY POEM

IS 'CAUSE SHE THOUGHT IT WOULD ENCOURAGE ME.

YOU KNOW, I'M REALLY SURPRISED AT YOU, DARLENE.

WHAT'S EVERYBODY GONNA THINK IF YOU DON'T SHOW UP?

WHO CARES WHAT EVERYBODY THINKS?

WELL, IF YOU DON'T CARE WHAT EVERYBODY THINKS,

THEN WHAT ARE YOU SO AFRAID OF?

DAN, COME HERE QUICK!

DARLENE'S SPEECHLESS! YOU GOT TO SEE THIS!

YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK?

WHAT?

I THINK...

I THINK YOU'RE AFRAID

THAT YOUR POEM REALLY IS GOOD.

I THINK YOU'RE AFRAID

TO LET EVERYBODY SEE THAT YOU'VE GOT A BRAIN

BECAUSE THEN THEY'LL EXPECT YOU TO USE IT.

YEAH. RIGHT.

I'M SO SURPRISED AT YOU.

I MEAN, YOUR WHOLE LIFE

YOU'RE RUNNING AROUND TO TAKE ALL THE CREDIT

FOR EVERYTHING YOU'VE DONE WRONG,

AND NOW SOMETHING REALLY GREAT HAPPENS.

DON'T YOU WANT TO ENJOY IT?

DON'T YOU WANT TO GET UP THERE AND TAKE YOUR BOW?

NO.

WELL, FINE.

YOU DO WHAT YOU WANT.

I JUST THOUGHT I'D GET A LITTLE JOY OUT OF IT, YOU KNOW?

A FEW GOOSEBUMPS.

I'D BE PROUD OF YOU...

BUT I DON'T WANT YOU TO DO IT

JUST BECAUSE YOU THINK YOU OWE IT TO ME.

OK, I WONT.

BUT YOU ARE DOING IT.

WHY?

BECAUSE I'M YOUR MOTHER, AND I SAID SO.

OH, THAT'S FAIR.

WHAT IF I FREAK OUT?

WHAT IF I FAINT AND CRACK MY HEAD OPEN ON STAGE?

WELL, THEN EVERYBODY WILL BE ABLE TO SEE

THAT YOU'VE GOT A BRAIN.

[ORCHESTRA PLAYING]

I HOPE WE GET BACK IN TIME TO WATCH THE END OF THE GAME.

OH, I'M SURE YOUR DADDY WILL GIVE US HIS FAMOUS HIGHLIGHTS SPEECH.

OH, NO.

OH, HI, DARLENE!

HI, MARTIN. HOW YOU DOING?

WELL, I'LL TELL YOU, DARLENE,

I'M NOT REALLY INTO THIS HIGH-PRESSURE,

HIGH-VISIBILITY STUFF.

I'M REALLY MORE OF A RECLUSE.

YOU WANT TO GET SOME PUNCH? YEAH.

GO AHEAD.

HI.

HEY, I MADE IT.

OH, ROSEANNE, THIS PLACE STILL SCARES ME.

WE BETTER TAKE OUR SEATS

OR ELSE THEY'LL MAKE US STAY AFTER.

WHERE'S DAN?

HE'S BOYCOTTING ON PRINCIPLE.

SO HE'S HOME WATCHING THE GAME?

AMONG OTHER THINGS.

WHAT A BUNCH OF NERDS.

JOKE!

YOU THINK I DID THE RIGHT THING, DON'T YOU?

YEAH.

SURE.

YEAH. I--I THINK THAT SHE'LL PROBABLY

DESPISE YOU RIGHT NOW,

BUT I--YOU... DID WHAT YOU HAD TO DO.

AND...

BESIDES, SHE STILL LOVES HER AUNT JACKIE.

AWAY...

AWAY...

WHY...

DO YOU STAY?

FLY AWAY, BIRD.

IT LOOKS AT ME.

AND...STILL IT HOPS...

AND HOPS...

AND...

HOPS.

FLY AWAY.

YOU GOT A GUN ON YOU?

IT SPREADS ITS WINGS...

AND FLIES AWAY.

AWAY...

IT DOES NOT...

LOOK BACK.

THAT'S IT.

CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT KID'S HOME LIFE?

GET A LOAD OF THAT--

EMBARRASSING YOUR KID IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE SCHOOL.

MOM DID THAT TO ME. DRILL TEAM TRYOUTS IN THE EIGHTH GRADE.

SHE SAT UP IN THE BLEACHERS WEEPING

AND PULLING THOSE STIFF, USED KLEENEX OUT OF HER BAG.

DO YOU GOT, LIKE, A MINT OR SOMETHING?

MY STOMACH'S JUST KIND OF, YOU KNOW...

OH, ROSEANNE, YOU'RE NERVOUS.

OH, THAT'S SO CUTE. OOH, OOH, OOH.

SHUT UP.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THAT FINE RENDITION.

AND NOW, FROM MISS MILLER'S SEVENTH GRADE CLASS,

DARLENE CONNER WILL READ HER POEM.

TO WHOM IT CONCERNS.

BY DARLENE CONNER.

TO WHOM IT CONCERNS--

DARLENE'S WORK WILL BE LATE.

IT FELL ON HER PANCAKES

AND STUCK TO HER PLATE.

TO WHOM IT CONCERNS--

MY MOM MADE ME WRITE THIS.

AND I'M JUST A KID,

SO HOW COULD I FIGHT THIS?

TO WHOM IT CONCERNS--

I LOST MY ASSIGNMENT.

MAYBE I'LL GET LUCKY.

SOLITARY CONFINEMENT.

TO WHOM IT CONCERNS--

DARLENE'S GREAT WITH A BALL,

BUT GUYS DON'T WATCH TOMBOYS

WHEN THEY'RE CRUISING THE HALL.

TO WHOM IT CONCERNS--

I JUST TURNED 13.

TOO SHORT TO BE QUARTERBACK,

TOO PLAIN TO BE QUEEN.

TO WHOM IT CONCERNS...

I AM NOT MADE OF STEEL.

WHEN I GET BLIND-SIDED,

MY PAIN IS QUITE REAL.

I DON'T MEAN TO SQUAWK,

BUT IT REALLY BURNS.

I JUST THOUGHT I'D MENTION IT

TO WHOM IT CONCERNS.

[ORCHESTRA PLAYING]

CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--

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