Original subtitles

Subtitles by explosiveskull

Leonard Moore.

- Yeah. - Walk this way.

Hi.

Hi.

I'm here for the, uh, the online management position.

Okay.

Yes.

Cool, man. Uh, let's go. Alright?

Um, how do you see music's impact on social media?

Music's impact on social media.

Uh, well, wouldn't that be

uh, social media's impact on... on music?

It works both ways.

Well, uh...

When somebody shares a song on, uh, Facebook...

...you know, that would change its, uh...

...it would change its analytics.

Like, if someone is... is... is sharing a song

then the, uh, the users, or... or rather Facebook

would, um, be changing its format

you know, to be, uh, more... more music oriented.

Mm, no.

But that... that was a cool answer.

Cool. I like it. But, no.

Like, let's take for example the acronym YOLO.

- YOLO? - YOLO.

YOLO, you only live once.

Hashtag YOLO from Drake's song.

I mean, people were emailing YOLO

signing off texts with it.

Its proliferation on social media was so voracious

that suddenly the meanin' flipped.

Instead of representing cool people and cool events

it was suddenly hashtagged by stupid people, stupid events

and it was, like, oh, my God.

Why are old people using YOLO?

I did not mean that to be rude or offensive...

- Oh, no, no, no. - In any way.

I love everyone no matter what age they were born.

We're all equal.

And you can choose what gender you wanna be.

So that's excitin'.

Um, there are a lot of young people workin' here

so what is...

Like, you could bring something unique and cool to this.

What is that?

I bring a very deep knowledge and love of music.

Ah, I love music too.

They all love music, like, what is...

I... I'm talking about, like, what unique thing

do you bring to the table?

Uh...

Look, all I know is that when I was 11 years old

I heard Led Zeppelin IV

and it blew my mind.

I never heard music like that before.

I didn't even know music like that was possible.

And so I caught the fever, and what I wanna do

is pass that fever down to the next generation.

Yeah. That is so true.

I love that, Leonard. I mean...

Like, who, who is

who is the new Led Zeppelin?

- The new Led Zeppelin? - Yes.

Like, what new artist are you digging right now?

Like...

DriverX?

No, I got my own car.

- Am I alive? - Yes.

Am I part of the animal kingdom?

Yes.

- Am I a pet? - No.

Boys have it pretty lucky, don't they, dad?

What do you mean, honey?

Because they don't have to be smart.

They don't have to get jobs. They just have to get married.

- Hi. - How was work?

Oh, God. I am so over this job.

I mean, I'm glad I have one and everything

it's just my boss, oh, my God.

Am I being a bitch if I can't stand up

when someone asks for something

that isn't supposed to be a question but a command?

He's always like, "W... Would you, uh

mind answering the phone, please?"

Instead of just answer the phone.

Have some balls and say what you want.

Own it.

- Right. - Am I being a bitch?

No. No, of course not.

"Star Wars!"

- Oh, is that you? - Yes.

- Is that what you want? - Mm-hmm.

- Are you my Jedi Knight? - Yes!

Oh, you are. I thought so.

How did the Pop Fizz interview go?

Hard to say.

You know, good, I think.

I'm twice as old as everybody there.

I really don't know if I'd be a good fit.

You know what though, they... they need people like you.

They need someone who's been around the block.

Yeah, tell them that.

Do you think you have a chance?

- Mom. - A chance? Yeah, yeah, sure.

- Okay. - Mom, I made this for you.

You did? Oh, it smells divine.

Thank you so much, sweetheart.

Okay, I want you to eat 3 more beans and you guys can go.

- I don't like them. - Oh, come on.

Eat a couple of pieces and we'll get outta here.

Okay.

So I'm starting a juice cleanse on Monday.

But 2 days before

I'm gonna eat nothing except raw foods.

Just salads, vegetables.

- Forty-eight hours. - Mm-hmm.

Six meals, eight snacks.

Mm-hmm, you should do it.

Yeah. I can't keep eating like this.

- Okay. That's good. - There you go.

Five minutes, then it's bath time.

- Okay. - Five.

I need to talk to you.

About what?

- We're out of money. - What do you mean?

Property tax is due and...

...I don't know how I'm gonna pay for it.

We'll take it out of the savings.

What savings?

Well, I thought with Emma going to kindergarten...

We're not paying for Pre-K anymore

but if nothing is coming in on your part

it's just, we're...

Get a job. Any job.

You know I can't work at Starbucks.

- It would be the death of me. - I'm not asking you to do that.

How much is it?

Well, it comes to about 10,000.

- We could sell the house. - No, no.

- We're not selling the house. - Okay.

Look, I'm almost done digitizing the CD

and record collection from the store. The primo stuff.

I'm sure I can get around that much.

You sure?

Honey, the collection is worth at least 15.

I... I'm talking everything. You know, the posters

the LPs, the CDs, all the best stuff.

Whatever. Uh, money's due in 3 weeks.

Okay. I got it.

Okay.

In the meantime

let's get rid of Jose.

- You're gonna cut the grass? - Yeah.

What, my old man used to do it.

No, no, no. I... I'm sorry.

When did we become the kind of people who needed a gardener

or... or... or a pool man, for that matter?

Oh-oh. So you're gonna get rid of Rob, too.

Middle class people like you and me

used to do all of this sort of stuff.

Well, so, just so I'm clear though

so... so you're, you're gonna cut the grass

and clean the pool?

- Yeah. - Mm.

Anything that I don't know how to do, I'll google it.

That's how I fixed the dishwasher last month.

Fuck.

We're going through some tough financial times and...

Hello. How was school, ladies?

- Good. - Good.

Tell me what did you learn today?

Did you know that blind people can still see by using echoes?

- Echoes? - Yes.

They click their tongues like this.

Oh.

Hey, so what did you learn, Emma?

I learned about animals.

What'd you learn about animals?

We have to save the tigers.

The tigers?

Yeah. They're almost all dead.

Oh.

Hey.

So, what's the tally?

I'll give you 800 for this.

What?

W... what are you talking about? What about all this?

That's worthless.

I mean, I can move it on to places like VA Hospitals

and retirement homes.

No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no.

Um, what about this?

I know, that Eyeless In Gaza CD

is an import in pristine condition.

- Yes. - Magnificent music.

- Exactly. - Nobody cares.

You're wrong.

Dude, these are coasters.

Okay, you don't seem to understand.

See, I want to move this music along.

You know, I wanted somebody else to be able to discover it.

Look.

Your girls are really cute and they're well behaved.

I'll give you 850.

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Come on, girls, sit down. It's dinnertime.

- Hey. - Hey.

- How'd it go? - Well...

Turns out young people aren't buying CDs and records anymore.

It's a lesson I've had to learn the hard way twice now.

- Mommy. - I'll fix this.

Look at you ladies.

- Hello. How was your day? - Hi. Good.

- You guys have a good time? - Uh-huh, we did.

- What the fuck is this? - Huh?

- What happened to Jose? - Oh, well...

We let him go for a few months.

Well, so he's still cutting our grass, right?

Yeah.

I mean, I'm... I'm... I'm assuming so.

We didn't say anything about yours.

Oh. Alright. Okay.

It's good exercise, actually.

- What? - Cutting the grass.

Alright. Okay, man.

- I'll catch you later. - Alright, see you, Harry.

Huh.

Thanks.

Welcome to DriverX.

Drivers are our most important members

and at DriverX, we truly value a good X.

When you DriverX, you're able to go online

whenever you want and find people

who need rides anywhere in your city.

You will swipe a button that says Go Online.

Once you're online, you start to receive trip requests.

When a rider requests a trip, the Xer closest to that rider

automatically receives the request.

Your Xs will throb blue

bathing your vehicle in a pleasant light.

Swipe the tab to accept.

- Wow. - What the hell is this?

DriverX. I'm employed.

DriverX, the taxi?

It's a little different. You use your own car.

Wh... when did you even interview?

I didn't. I just applied online.

Never even met a human being.

Nothing but an online background check.

That's creepy.

Well, how much money can you make?

I don't know.

Come on.

It was so weird.

There were gates

and there was, like, a lot of Jewish stuff in the house.

- And I was, like... - Hi.

...place to have a, you know.

I mean...

Hold on. What took you so long?

You were right next to me when I requested.

I'm sorry, I... I missed the turn

and then I had to double back all the way around

to come back in here.

No.

No, the... the fiancee girl was cute

the husband was not.

She was, like, you and I can

but, like, only if you and my fiancee first.

And I was, like, "I don't know."

He was short.

Where to?

Hi, guy. I already input the address.

Oh.

Oh, oh, I... Okay, I see.

Okay.

Okay.

Anyway, I took like all these weird selfies

in their bathroom.

Yeah, I, like, got up on the counter

and, like, yeah.

I'll totally send you some.

Okay. Bye.

You're supposed to ask me my name before you start the drive.

Excuse me?

To verify I'm the correct person.

A lot of people get ripped off, you know?

- What's your name? - It's a little late now.

And you're not supposed to be driving with your phone

in your hand. That's illegal.

Is this your stop up here on the left?

Yes.

Uh, you know, you just crossed two double lines.

Can I, uh, drop you right here?

Yes, this is fine. Stop.

Are you gonna stop the ride?

- Hello. - Hello.

- Uh, name, please? - Name?

Uh, yeah. I need your name to match...

You just picked me up at my house.

Right. Right. Sorry about that.

Uh, you know, it's been awhile since I've been

this high up in the hills.

Would you mind, please

guiding me down a bit?

Make a right, uh, up ahead.

Stay right at the fork up ahead.

How long you been driving?

Actually, it's my first night.

So what else do you do?

Uh, did, actually.

I owned a record store over on Woodman

for the past quarter century.

It was called The Last Record Store.

Prophetic.

Actually, it was a reference to a Little Feat album.

Can you make a living doing this?

I have no idea.

I mean, this is only temporary, you know.

I had a, uh, interview

in a management position, uh, at Pop Fizz.

I... I think it went pretty well.

Oh.

What if you don't get it?

- Oh, the... the job? - Uh-huh.

Uh, I don't know.

I haven't really thought about it.

Good luck.

Make a right at Sunset Boulevard.

Uh-huh.

And I hope you know where Sunset Boulevard is.

Hey.

Can you get me back to Van Nuys?

Uh, Woodman and Burbank.

That I can do.

How you doing tonight, Leonard?

Uh, good, Julio.

How you doin' tonight?

I'm good. Thank you for asking.

I've not taken a sip of alcohol in 40 days.

- Huh? - Okay.

- It's a good night. - Alright.

How long you been married?

- Fifteen years. - Whoa.

Shit, that's a long time. You got me beat.

You hate your wife yet?

Sometimes.

I hate mine.

But we've got a beautiful little boy

and he keeps me in the marriage

or he keeps her in the marriage. I...

So, what, am I supposed to wish my wife dies

so I could get out of the marriage?

I don't wanna be that guy, so...

What are you gonna do?

- You have kids? - I got... I got two girls.

So you know what I'm talkin' about.

- Yeah, yeah, I do. - Yeah?

That's what saves the marriage.

That and Chinese massages.

I go to this place. It's called Happy Foot.

There's, like, 12,000 of them in the valley.

Check it out next time you're there. You'll notice them.

It's clean, professional. No fluids exchanged.

Monogamy doesn't work.

It's unnatural.

When everything is said and done...

...all you have is Happy Foot.

And Happy Foot is okay.

I'm not going far. I'll show you.

Okay.

Make a left at the light.

How are you tonight?

Um, I'm good. Thank you.

Uh, how are you? How are you doing tonight?

I just broke up with my boyfriend.

Oh, bummer.

Oh, yeah, it's a right turn here.

And, uh, I'm at the end of the street.

Perfect.

Thank you so much.

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

I'm drunk.

I have been drinking, like, a lot.

Oh.

Yes.

Okay.

Mm. Mm.

Don't.

- Have you seen my keys? - In the green bowl.

Kids? Breakfast. Pancakes.

- Huh? - No.

I'm scaling back on all that.

Detoxing. Remember?

What time did you get home last night?

Uh, 1:30.

- How did it go? - It was alright.

I'm a little tired, but it was okay.

Any weirdos or...

No.

Well, did you talk to anyone?

Well, you sorta have to. I...

Yes, I mean, it was... it was a little weird

having strangers in the car at first.

But, I, uh, I think I'm over it now.

How much money did you make?

Thirty-seven, a... and some change.

It was my first night.

Well, it's Friday night tonight.

Right? That should be better.

You been doing DriverX long?

- Uh, about a week. - Oh.

- Maybe that's what it is, man. - Mm-hmm.

W... what is?

Why your DriverX rating is so low?

I mean, you seem like a nice guy.

My... my DriverX rating is low?

Yeah, it's so low that we almost solicited a driver

from further away.

Wait, you mean, you mean a 2.45 out of 3X's isn't good?

Nah, you want like a 2.8 or higher.

- No less than a 2.7. - 2.7, yeah. Definitely not.

- Wow. I didn't know that. - Mm-hmm.

Yeah, you know, you should get some waters too.

People get drunk. You know, they go out.

- They get dehydrated. - They're dehydrated. Yeah.

And, uh, gum or Altoids.

- Really? - Yeah, everybody does it.

- And get a phone charger. - Auxiliary cable.

Mm-hmm, yeah, yeah. Drunk people love to listen to their music.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. And dress nice, man.

Nice, casual.

Yeah, I didn't mean not just nice, nice.

Don't overdo it though. Just cool, you know.

That should cover it, right?

- Geez, thanks, guys. - Yeah.

Wait a second.

That's it. I got it.

You had that record store on Woodman.

That, uh, what was it called?

- The Last Record Store. - The Last Record Store!

- That's right. - Yeah.

Man, I spent years of my life in that place.

- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.

Sorry that that business went the way it did.

I hung on way too long.

God, uh, y... you had everything.

I... I discovered the Pixies in that 4AD section.

- Back right corner. - That's right.

- Yeah. - Absolutely.

You used to do this thing

a... a... and I think you did it with a lot of people

but it was brilliant.

You would, you would give me

an LP or a CD and try it out for free.

And I only had to pay for it if I actually liked it.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

I think I paid for every single one.

Oh, you, you had a gift.

You had this uncanny ability to match-make with music.

- Thanks, man. - It was a great store.

Yeah, it was.

I always hoped that that store was gonna be my legacy

for my daughters, you know.

They'd be able to wander up and down the aisles and...

...pick stuff up and say, "What's this?"

Discover new music.

But now, you know...

...CDs, records, all that...

...it's not gonna be around when they grow up.

I sold my collection for pennies on the dollar.

My entire library is now...

...in a computer.

Miranda?

Good girl.

Up, up, up. Come on.

Your girls are throwing sand.

Hey, stop that! Stop that!

Did you throw sand at that woman's kid? Hey.

Hey. Girls?

Nice.

Ah, I know, I know.

- What's up? - Oh, hey, Harry.

Hey.

- You fire Rob too? - Yeah.

My old man used to do all this.

Yeah, that was in 1975.

Well, what the hell difference does that make?

He was a man.

I thought you two had a rough time.

Yeah, we did and we didn't.

It was the fucking '70s.

You know, Leonard, if, if you need something

money, you could take your time paying back.

Harry, we're okay.

You know, sometimes a wakeup call's a good thing.

But thank you, man.

- What... - I appreciate it.

You sure? I mean, I'm serious. It's...

I know. I'm positive. We're okay.

Come on. I'm gonna go take a shower.

You wanna come?

Uh, why don't you go get clean and I'll meet you in bed.

No shower?

You know, that's not the sexy spot for me.

Actually, though, I did try and get laid last night.

- Oh, my crimson river. - Eww. No.

No, he was actually a gentleman about it.

He said, literally said, word-for-word.

- Okay. - "Aren't we both adults here?"

- Can't we just... - That's great. That's great.

And then I was, like, "You don't mind if I bleed?"

And he said, "That's what the towels were for."

Okay, so what happened?

Well, I mean, the lubrication. Oh, on point.

- That much was golden. - Okay.

But, however, I was...

You know, I was crampy. So I was like super cloggy.

Oh, god. Gross.

Just vibe that shit out.

Why are we even having this conversation?

Because mine's broken.

Why don't you go to the store?

I will. I'm just a lazy bitch.

- Sir? - Hmm?

Uh, do you mind if I, if I roll a blunt back here?

Not to smoke, just prep.

- Uh, sure. - Oh, you're a sweetheart.

How do I look?

Oh, my God. You look, you look super-hot.

- Like hip hop hot, you know. - That comfy slutty.

Comfy slutty. That is exactly what this is.

Like, this is such a slutty dress

but, like, I'm really comfortable in it.

You know what I mean, and then I'm like

literally wearing sneaker heels.

Like, it's magical if you could do both.

It's magical if you can get laid.

Ah, excuse me.

Could you have an AUX cord?

- Oh, uh, yeah. - Ah!

- Right here. - I just love you.

Perfect.

Okay. Let's get ready to rage.

DriverX?

- Tom? - Whoo-whoo.

What's up?

- How you doin' tonight? - What's going on, my dude?

- Como se llama? - Me llama Leonardo.

Leonardo. What?

Leonardo in the house!

That's right.

- Oh, did you get the address? - Yeah, yeah, I... I did.

- It's navigating right now. - Oh, cool.

So I'm from China.

Wonderful.

How are things in China?

A little crowded, I think.

- So where are you from? - Miami.

- Yeah? Born and raised? - No.

I'm born in Pittsburgh, raised in Miami, Florida.

Cool. And, like, what brought you to Los Angeles?

Dreams and happiness, my friend.

What better place to do it than LA.

- Whoo-whoo, right? - Yeah.

Oh, yo, I moved to Los Angeles

because I was dating this actress.

Yeah. California girl

grew up in Newport Beach or whatever.

I don't know.

- She wound up dumping me. - What? Bitch.

That's right, motherfucking biatch.

How long ago was that?

Uh, 5 years ago.

Something. I don't know.

She ruined me real good.

Her name was Cheyenne.

She was the best thing that ever happened to me.

Oh, hey, you wanna, like, listen to some music or anything?

Uh, yeah, that depends. What do you got?

W... why, are you picky? You don't like shit or what?

No, it's... it's not that. It's just I'm a...

I'm a little, well, old school in a weird way.

Wait, weird? What?

Not old, it's just...

You know, I have a Peter Frampton live album.

Frampton Comes Alive.

And when I pull it off the shelf...

...you can just feel it.

You know, the card stock is thick.

It's heavy, shiny, and when you open it up

you hear the, the crack of the crease.

You look inside, you can see the band members

you could, you know, read the liner notes.

And then when you flipped it on the front

there's Peter's face, his blond hair.

And when you flip it down

his hands are clutching that Gibson guitar.

60,000 people at the Coliseum are watching him play

and you can feel it.

And all that's happening before you even put the record on.

You're already experiencing it.

Yeah.

Yeah?

- Fuck, yeah. - Fuck, yeah is right.

- I'm buyin' that. - Yeah.

Shit. Sold.

Amazon tonight. On it.

Oh, but, alright.

Truth be told, there's still a lot

of bitchin' music out there these days, Leonard.

- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.

You just gotta... look for it, you know.

- Hey, is this you up ahead? - Oh, shit! Yeah.

Leonard, I like you.

Tom, I like you too.

Uh, Leonard.

Goddammit, give me your number.

When I get done here, I wants to call you.

You is who I wants to call.

I... I appreciate that

but we're really not supposed to do that sort of thing.

Look, you... you already paid me on the app.

No, look, look, I'll call you

and you come right up next to me

and then I'll request you on my phone.

Can't miss.

Are you, uh...

Looking for something to write on, man.

Oh, you're going old school, huh?

I could just put it up in my phone if you want to.

Here you go.

Hmm.

There you go, man.

- You'll be hearing from me. - Okay.

- Bon voyage, Leonardo! - Bon voyage.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

Oh, why did I do that?

- Chelsea. - Chelsea?

Alright. Wait, no, no, no. Down here, down here.

Where are you going?

- Alright. Everybody in? - Oh, my God.

- It's disgusting. - It's fine. It's a car.

- Doesn't matter. - You're such an asshole.

- God. - Oh, my God.

- Hi. - Hi.

- Hey, come on. - Let's go.

- Go! - Alright.

Are we... are we all in? We all in?

- Yes. - Alright, let's go.

Where are you go... Where are we going?

- We're not going home. - Where are we going?

Ah, yes, please, where are we going?

- We're going to a bar. - I wanna go home.

- I want to go home. - No.

- Why? It's 3:00... - My fucking back hurts.

- My fucking back hurts. - Alright, alright, alright.

- First we're gonna... - So you wanna go home?

First, we're gonna go to a CVS

so we can get some BENGAY for her back.

- For Chelsea. - I...

Go to, um, fucking Main Street?

Wait, wait. So... so no... no CVS.

- No! - No!

- Uh, Main Street then. - Uh, McKinney.

Just take me to where there's no fucking old people.

- Yeah. - Duh.

This fuckin' old creep that's not gonna think

she's gonna be in a movie.

And this fucking skank.

I was joking. I wasn't being serious with him.

Uh-huh. She's like, "Can I be in your movie?"

Yeah, they're gonna put me as an extra in his movie.

Okay, I'm gonna be in the background.

You're gonna be so important.

Yes, I am. You know, get discovered, okay?

Stupid.

My legs are so hairy.

Oh, my gosh. Your legs are so soft.

- No, they're so hairy. - You're so sexy.

You're, like, the hottest person ever.

- Thank you. - Your legs are so sexy.

Oh, my God! Stop flirting with me, you slut.

- I'm not a lesbian. - I'm not a lesbian.

- You guys are gonna scissor. - Not now.

No. We don't do that.

- I like boys. - I like wiener.

That's good 'cause I got one.

- I don't feel good. - What?

What do you mean you don't feel good?

I'm fine.

- I'm fine. - Are you gonna puke?

- I was kidding. - Dude, switch places with him.

- Are you gonna fucking puke? - No.

Switch places with him and puke out the window.

Hey, roll down the window, man.

- Oh, my God. She's gonna... - I'm fine.

- Should we pull over? - No.

- I was kidding. - Oh, my God!

It was a, it was a false alarm.

Can you get a handle on her? Jesus Christ.

Is she okay?

I'm gonna buy everybody in here one of those, uh...

E... even you, dude.

I'm gonna buy everybody bacon-wrapped hot dogs

or whatever the fuck it's called.

Hey, just drop us off on the corner here.

What?

D... drop us off on the corner here.

- Just over here? - Yes!

- Alright. Alright. - God.

Am I not speaking English? Jesus.

I wanna get out.

I wanna get out. I wanna get out.

- I wanna get out. - Shh. Shh.

Ugh.

Hey, is, um, is there a way to tip you on the app?

No.

No? It's $4.

What does he mean, no tip?

Look at this price. It's 4 fucking dollars.

I know. It's good. Thank you, Leonard.

- No. Without a tip. - Come on.

- Why do you do it? - Chelsea, come on.

Seriously, dude. Why do you do it?

Why do you do it?

Idiot.

Just take me to the Denny's.

- Leonard? - Tammy?

- Front or back? - Uh, whichever you like.

- Get the address? - Yep.

What time is it?

- Thank you. - Yeah.

You bet. No problem.

So how's your day going?

Um, good.

And yours?

Tired.

- Ready to stop drinking. - Mm.

But it, it seems like you're going to continue.

Leonard, it's like you already know my shit.

I'm sorry.

Uh, no, that's, uh, it's not a problem.

What happened to the girls behind us?

What's that?

The girls. I thought they were behind us.

- In the car? - Yes.

- Uh, no. - What?

- Were there other girls... - Are you kidding me?

- Yes! - No, no.

You were alone when I picked you up.

Oh, my God, did we leave them behind?

- Oh, my God. - Oh, I'm... I'm so sorry.

For God's sake, we can totally go back...

No! No! No!

We're going all the way.

Just you and me.

We're doing it.

- Yeah, we are. - Hmm.

Ready.

Let it go.

Let go.

Yeah. Like, let's go.

What?

Oh, my G...

Let go.

Oh.

♪ Na na na na ♪

♪ Na na na na ♪

♪ Na na na na ♪

♪ Na na na na ♪

Oh, yeah.

Oh, my God. No.

Stop. I'm just kidding.

- Guys hate me. - What?

Why?

A little too much for them, I guess.

Oh.

Ah.

- Are we here? - Yeah, um, yeah.

Oh.

Bye.

You have everything?

Oh, I think you look younger without the beard.

FYI, this place has been...

...debugged.

Huh.

Forgive me, father, for I have sinned.

Well, how long has it been

since your last confession, my son?

Is it Dawn?

I noticed a little tension over dinner.

Look, last year...

...I felt like Jackie and I were gonna split.

And we...

...we disliked each other.

No other way to put it.

We barely spoke for weeks at a time.

I thought we were toast for sure.

You know, so, we go to therapy

one last time to try to save our marriage.

And all this therapist really did was

give us 5 words for how to talk to one another.

I mean, 5 words to save our marriage.

Okay, I'll bite.

Um, let's say, uh, Dawn is going off on you about...

Oh, pick a fucking topic, right?

And the, uh, pettiness of her complaint

makes your blood boil.

Next thing you know, full-blown argument.

All you have to do is say...

"...Babe, you're crazy

but I still love you."

Honey, you're a, a raging fucking cunt

but I still love you.

Sweetheart, I love my beard.

I wanna keep it.

I will shave it for you because I love you.

- Come on. - Fucking works.

Honey, I wanna murder you right now

but I can't because I hate the idea of hurting you.

I just love you too much.

See, you can just switch it around. Improvise.

But the point is, you finally get to tell her the truth

as long as you still remind her that you love her.

The therapist explained it had to do

with the primitive part of the brain

amygdala or lizard brain.

Fight or flight.

And don't underestimate the power of words.

And you don't even have to mean 'em.

But I guarantee you

once you start saying I still love you

you can't help but fall back in love.

You know, uh

if you think this DriverX business is gonna help...

...forget it.

Yeah. Yeah, I know about DriverX.

Didn't you think Jackie would tell me

that you picked her up from her cousin's?

Is that why you didn't wanna say anything?

You think she's bangin' someone on the side?

That would be none of my business.

Uh, I appreciate that.

Driving's my dirty secret.

What am I doin'?

At my age.

Last night, I almost got into trouble.

Like, real trouble.

So I don't know. I...

I'm just freakin' trippin'.

I don't know where I fit in the world anymore.

Same old shit.

It's called getting older.

Hey, think about how our parents felt

when personal computers blew up.

I just don't wanna give up the reins.

I don't wanna hand it over yet.

You know, I've been gettin' to know

the next generation recently.

And I don't even know if they can get their fucking noses

out of their iPhones.

Well, then it's your job to teach them how.

How to live.

And don't make fun of them.

Help them...

...asshole.

- Ow, careful. - No, no, just sit on it.

Okay.

You... you're not hard yet.

Well, rub it a little bit.

That's it.

Wait a minute. Oh, goddammit.

My foot's crampin' up.

Ah. Mm.

- You okay? - Yeah.

You alright?

- Good? - Yeah. Is that good?

Okay.

I'm scared about the future.

Yeah, I know.

Let's, let's say we fix this.

I mean, what are we gonna do in 6 months

when we have to pay again?

I am scared about that too.

Hey.

Well, for short term

we could drop all the premium channels.

You know, just go back to basic cable.

Mm-hmm.

I can get rid of the girls' iPad plans.

That's 60 bucks a month right there.

Drop down to streaming on Netflix.

You know, fuck Netflix. I can go to the library.

Long term...

- Hello. - Uh, hi.

- What's the name, please? - It's not for me, actually.

Uh, there's a woman.

Uh, she'll be here shortly.

- She's intoxicated. - Mm-hmm.

Not angry.

- She's just emotional. - Okay.

Her father got married tonight and it was emotional for her.

Right. You mentioned that.

Here she comes.

Okay. Okay, okay, okay.

Stop. Are you kidding me? Stop.

- Hi. - Hi.

We're not driving far. Make the first...

You know what, I told you not to let me drink.

- Shh, it's okay. - Don't "shh" me!

I've got some water bottles back there if you need 'em.

She hasn't even been gone a year.

- Drink this. - You drink it!

- Okay, stop! Enough! - It's just...

- Enough! - No, not enough!

Yes! Enough!

Do you understand what happened in there?

Do you understand what happened in there?

- Oh! - Oh!

- Oh! - Ugh!

- What? - Oh!

- What? Oh, no! - No!

- Oh, God! Oh, God! - Oh-oh.

Oh, God.

Call 911.

- Call 911! - Do not call 911.

Oh.

Okay, honey. Come on.

Let's go.

Thank you.

Where were you last night?

I fell asleep in the car

with the garage door wide open.

- Oh, my God. - I had an accident last night.

You know what, you know what, I can't.

I'm sorry. I just...

- Hey, goodbye, girls. - Goodbye, mom.

- Love you. - Have a good day.

- Okay, love you. - Bye.

So how much to fix it?

- It's got a lease or own it? - I lease it.

Approximately 1600.

- 1600? - Yes, sir.

Are you kidding me? Why so much?

Hang on.

Hello, my name is Doris.

May I help you?

Uh, yeah.

Hi, Doris. Um...

I... I'm a driver.

Uh, I had an accident. My name is...

Please place your thumb anywhere on my screen.

Thank you, Leonard Moore

X-rating 2.86.

Uh, I'm here a... about...

Email sent regarding the back bumper issue.

Yes. A... and also the tail light.

Did you receive the text response from DriverX support?

I did, uh, but even though the trip was completed

and there were no riders, I was still on the job.

It was green.

Be that as it may

because you had already completed the trip

you'll need to submit a claim with your personal insurance.

Doris, I'd like to speak to a manager.

There is no manager.

We are all simply members.

That's great. Um, I... I need to talk to someone.

Uh... uh, someone who can help me.

Please walk this way.

Hello, Leonard. I know why you're here.

Let me begin by saying, your profile is quite impressive.

A 100% acceptance rate.

You're on pace to break the great acceptance streak

held for over 6 months by a partner in Seattle.

I can see why you're confused

but technically, you weren't working for us

when you backed the Prius into that pole.

We are meeting here today as peers, Leonard.

I am not your boss.

I'm only your boss when you have riders in your vehicle.

At all other times, you're working for yourself.

She threw up in my car.

And you have been awarded an X bonus

along with a free car wash coupon.

You are at the leading edge of a movement

the Gig Revolution.

No more boss, no more 9:00 to 5:00.

Work as you please. True freedom.

We value our partners here at DriverX.

We would be nothing without you.

And you are the type of partner that we hold dear.

Thank you, Leonard Moore.

Thank you.

Hey.

Hey.

- Can I do anything? - I don't know, can you?

Hmm?

Sorry. I got it.

How was work?

Not bad.

Sort of weird, actually.

Josefina started this cleanse.

And, I don't care, really.

It's just, I just find it a little ironic

'cause she's so competitive, you know.

So I just feel like if I start one now

it just seems like it's in reaction to her.

So, what?

I don't know. It's a work thing.

I don't... feel like talking about it.

What? It's not even open.

- You don't have to open it. - Of course, you do.

They would have called.

I'm sorry.

I don't wanna live like this.

What do you mean?

It means, I don't wanna live like this anymore.

Poor?

Uh, uh, no. Not just that.

We don't get to see each other.

I... I barely saw the kids as it is.

I just, I feel like we're work shifts and it's...

Okay. What... So... so what do you want?

Do you want me to work or do you want me to be around?

I want you to get a job!

- I have a job! - A real job!

DriverX isn't a job, okay?

I... I don't know what it is.

You know what?

I'm gonna go off to my non-job job.

And you know what I'd like now that I am working?

How about you not leave your shit all around the house?

Why don't you pick up after yourself? Believe it or not

there are 2 people working in this house.

Oh, really? 'Cause I'm so messy.

You have no clue.

And I tell you what, if I have a little extra time

I will put a juice machine right next to the bed

and shove a fucking tube right up your ass.

Because if I have to hear one more time

about you going on a cleanse

without actually going on a cleanse

I'm gonna lose my shit.

Really? 'Cause it kind of looks like

you're already losing your shit.

Fuck. Hey.

I... What do you wanna do about dinner?

I don't know.

Figure it out.

There's lasagna and salad leftover in the fridge.

Tom.

- I knew you'd come. - Hey, man, you alright?

Ah, I'm better now, man.

- Get on in, man. - Okay.

Oh.

There you go. Buckle up.

God!

That place was fucking crazy.

- Was it? - Yeah, man.

It was, like, pretty hardcore aggressive.

- And... - Like, uh, crazy what?

They're doin' crazy shit or what?

I fucking got in there, they fucking grabbed me.

Like they grabbed your nuts?

No, they like grab you and they're like

"Hey, you want to get special dance in VIP room?"

- Oh, that's hard to pass up. - Exactly my sentiment.

So I was, like, yeah, I'll go.

So I went with her into the dance room, in the VIP room

and she's, like, dancing and being, like, all

grabby and everything.

And then she, like, started talking to me

about the fees for options.

And she was, like, "Uh, we can go

to where the manager can't see us for 700 bucks."

- $700? - Yeah.

And I was like, "No. Wh... what the fuck you talking about?"

She's talking about having sex with you.

No. That's what she makes it seem like

and I was thinking, you know

I only came here with, like, $60 in my pocket.

So, I was like, nah, I'm married, which I am.

And I probably shouldn't be going to strip clubs

in the first place, but, you know, it was guys' night.

- Guys' night. - Yeah, yeah, of course.

And we went to, like, 5 or 6 other places bef...

What?

Oh, shit!

When I was in the room with the girl

and she was talking to me

my fucking wife started calling.

- And I was like, "Shit." - No.

Uh, s... sorry, honey. I... I can't hear you.

It's too loud here in Seventh Heaven.

Hey, sugar.

How much, how much money you think we can spend right now?

No, no, no. She only said it was $700.

So I just got like 20 bones

and I got 'em in ones and I chilled out

and then I got the fuck out of there.

- Oh, wow, man. - I don't know.

I don't like strip clubs, man.

They make me feel inadequate.

Oh, shit. Hold on.

Oh.

Oh, baby.

Aww.

Hello?

What? Wow.

What was that? Did you hear that shit?

Baby, are you there?

It's not okay.

- It... it's not okay? - It's not okay.

Oh, okay. Alright.

Uh, I'm... I'mma be there, uh, super quick.

I'll be there in, like, 2 minutes or so.

Oh, I don't feel good.

- I don't feel very... - Oh, no.

- Oh. - I'm sorry, baby.

- Come home. - Fuck.

She went on a girls' night.

Of course, she's fucking wasted, man.

Oh, alright.

- Uh, third house on the right. - Alright.

Ah.

Oh, uh, shit. I almost forgot.

Uh, new music. Mix tape.

- Alright. - Oh, hey, thanks, man.

Cool. Hey, uh, listen to it, okay?

Talk to you soon.

Oh, shit!

- Uh, fuck. - You okay?

Ah, shit.

I'm okay. I'm okay. I got this.

I got it. Thanks, Leonard.

I think I met a guy who does voices for the show.

Which character?

Uh, I can't remember.

- Maybe Lovie Loser. - Maybe.

Hors d'oeuvres, ladies?

Hey.

Oh!

Thank you.

I didn't pick 'em up till quarter to 6:00

That's why they're watching TV. I woke up late.

I didn't know where I was, but they're good.

Everything is great.

- You're in a good mood. - Yeah. I am.

Any particular reason?

Uh, I can't.

I don't know.

How much did you make last night?

I'm tired of you asking me that...

...but I still love you.

I'm sorry. You're tired?

- I'm concerned. - I know.

You're always concerned.

But, I still love you.

Why the fuck are you talking to me like that?

You're angry, but I still love you.

Okay, you know what? What is this?

Some technique you got from some men's magazine?

I don't like it when you belittle me, but...

Oh, Jesus.

- I still love you. - I still love you.

- I know. I got it. Thanks. - Alright.

This is so s... stupid.

Dinner will be ready in 10.

I love you.

We are going to Bossa Nova.

Sure. I can do that.

And from this point on

anywhere the girl in the back decides.

- Whoop! - Okay.

- So how's your night? - It's good. Thank you.

And yours?

Mm, it's goin' okay.

- You have a good voice. - Oh.

Um, thank you.

Something like, uh...

- Like... - Something like a doctor?

Doctor. Yeah.

- You get that a lot. - I do get that a lot.

- That's why you said that. - That is why I said that.

- Are you a doctor? - No. No.

You said that with a subtext, like, I wish.

Uh, no, no, no. It just...

Actually, I... I used to be really queasy around

uh, blood, guts, that sort of thing.

I don't like it either.

But then I had somethin' happen to me

that, uh, changed it, actually.

Really?

- Was it a girl's period? - What the fuck?

Uh, uh, no.

No, it wasn't.

- Was that a good guess? - Yeah, that was a good guess.

That was a good guess.

It was actually when my, my wife

gave birth to my first daughter.

Uh, I'm in the operating room and the... and the doctor said

"Come around and take a look. This is incredible."

And, uh, I said, "No, I... I don't think I can do that."

You know, I... I didn't know if I was gonna be, like

one of those pussy-ass guys who, like, you know, just passed out

and, um...

But I did.

I wound up comin' around and takin' a look and...

You know, what I saw was...

You know, I'm... I'm... I'm not particularly religious...

...but...

Did you see an angel?

No, no.

But, but what I did see was...

I... I saw my baby come out of my wife.

And when I saw her head crown...

...it just hit me like a ton of bricks.

This is a miracle. I mean, like a real miracle.

How is this possible? How?

How did I not know about this before?

It's crazy.

I mean, a human body coming out of a human body.

Yeah. Unbelievable.

So I... I, I...

I... I mean, I... I almost found God, you know?

Uh, I mean, right there.

You did find God.

Your child is a blessing.

Trust me.

The second one's not too bad either.

And the wife.

I was lost. They found me.

- This is fucking incredible. - You're a good man, Leonard.

Oh, my God!

DriverX is after a shift in thinking.

They want the people in the cities to realize

that using DriverX is less than owning a car.

But so what? The best minds of the younger generation

are... are flocking to Silicon Valley

and working their asses off, but for what?

These kids, they... they really think

they're solving a really hard problem.

They're just actually solving the easiest problem

which is how do you extract money from the middle class

and give it to some obscenely rich Jew people.

Hey, man. Just listened to your CD. It's awesome.

Oh?

Tom?

Ralph's. Ralph's bathroom.

Shit. Which one?

- Tom. - Hey.

Come on, you gotta unlock the door, Tommy.

Miracle. Ah, it's a miracle.

Tommy, wake up. You gotta unlock the door.

Okay. Okay.

Fine.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

- Oh? - I got you. I got you.

Hold on. Hold on. Hold on, I gotta... I gotta request.

- No, no, no... - Come on, I gotta...

No, no, no, no. This one's on me.

Oh, thanks, man.

You good?

In heaven, Leonard.

You know, you could be like Los Angeles lore.

Like, hey, you wanna see LA?

Take a ride with Leonardo.

That should be the rallying cry of Angelenos everywhere

because you've earned this.

Because you, Leonard...

...are every other dogs' best friend.

You're that person, man. Important.

The best DriverX ever.

Thank you, my friend.

Thank you.

Hey, you okay? Tom?

Don't worry.

I'll get you home safe.

- Alright, we got steps. - Okay.

- Ready, one. - One.

- Two. - Two.

- What? - Girls' night out.

Jesus. Don't you guys ever go out together?

Why would we do that?

- Bingo. - There we go.

Okay.

- Oh! It's okay. - Sorry.

Alright. One, two, three.

Listen, take them to this address.

They are a Ukrainian rock band.

They do not speak English. Nothing.

Take them to hotel.

Nowhere else.

Good luck.

Oh, hey, hey, hey. No, no, no.

No smoking in the car, please.

Could... could you tell them no smoking in the car?

Really? Really, no English?

No, thanks.

Yeah.

Sexy. Sexy, huh?

What?

- Sexy? No, you wanna... - Sexy!

- Sexy. Alright. Yeah. - Sexy.

Oh! Oh!

You want a strip club? Strip club?

- Sexy! - Sexy!

Sexy! Oh!

Hey! Hey!

What the fuck!

Get... get off of me!

Get out of here!

Get out! Get out of here!

What is it?

I... I, I can't take anything if I don't know what it is.

X.

- Ecstasy? - X.

Whoo!

Nina!

"All children, except one, grow up.

"They soon know that they will grow up

"and the way Wendy knew was this.

"One day when she was two years old

"she was playing in a garden

"and she plucked another flower and ran with it to her mother.

"I suppose she must have looked rather delightful

"for Mrs. Darling put her hand to her heart and cried...

"'...Oh, why can't you remain like this forever?'

"This was all that passed between them on the subject

"but henceforth, Wendy knew that she must grow up.

"You always know after you are two.

Two is the beginning of the end."

- You okay, Daddy? - Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, Daddy loves you very much.

I can take over.

Okay.

I don't think you should drive so late, okay?

2 o'clock, and I'll turn into a pumpkin.

Okay.

Miranda, why don't you read to your sister?

Okay.

Mommy, can you lay with me?

I will in a minute, okay, sweetie?

Okay.

Subtitles by explosiveskull