All language subtitles for Beautiful.Boy.2018.720p.BRRip.x264.MkvCage.ws

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian Download
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish Download
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:14,224 --> 00:01:15,747 Bu �ey i�in mi.. 2 00:01:15,790 --> 00:01:17,009 New York Times Magazine? 3 00:01:17,052 --> 00:01:19,185 Hay�r. �z�r dilerim, bu... 4 00:01:19,229 --> 00:01:20,795 yani... 5 00:01:20,839 --> 00:01:23,146 ben ba��ms�z bir yazar�m. 6 00:01:23,189 --> 00:01:24,625 De�i�ik dergiler i�in yazar�m 7 00:01:24,669 --> 00:01:26,236 ama bu ki�isel bir konu. 8 00:01:26,279 --> 00:01:27,585 Ki�isel bir konu? 9 00:01:27,628 --> 00:01:29,413 Evet, �z�r dilerim. Sorun olur mu? 10 00:01:29,456 --> 00:01:31,023 Hay�r, elbette olmaz. 11 00:01:31,066 --> 00:01:33,025 Bunun ne hakk�nda oldu�unu sorabilir miyim ve...? 12 00:01:33,068 --> 00:01:35,810 O�lum hakk�nda. 13 00:01:36,811 --> 00:01:39,074 Pekala. Nas�l yard�m edebilirim? 14 00:01:40,075 --> 00:01:42,426 O... 15 00:01:44,428 --> 00:01:48,649 Baz� anlar oluyor ki; benim b�y�tt���m, i�ini d���n� 16 00:01:48,693 --> 00:01:51,304 bildi�imi d���nd���m 17 00:01:51,348 --> 00:01:54,481 bu �ocu�a bakt���mda 18 00:01:54,525 --> 00:01:57,267 kim oldu�unu tan�m�yorum. 19 00:01:59,269 --> 00:02:02,010 Envai �e�it ila� denedi ve sonunda 20 00:02:02,054 --> 00:02:04,099 kristal meth ba��ml�s� oldu, 21 00:02:04,143 --> 00:02:08,930 o da i�lerinde en k�t�s� gibi g�r�n�yor.. 22 00:02:08,974 --> 00:02:12,020 Bence burada olma nedenim 23 00:02:12,064 --> 00:02:16,199 t�m bunlar hakk�nda... 24 00:02:16,242 --> 00:02:19,027 neler yapabilece�imi... 25 00:02:19,071 --> 00:02:20,942 ��renmek istemem. 26 00:02:20,986 --> 00:02:22,770 D��man�m� tan�mam gerekiyor, de�il mi? 27 00:02:22,814 --> 00:02:25,033 Yani... 28 00:02:27,297 --> 00:02:29,690 Soraca��m iki temel soru, 29 00:02:29,734 --> 00:02:32,345 ila� ona ne zararlar veriyor 30 00:02:32,389 --> 00:02:35,740 ve ona yard�m etmek i�in ne yapabilirim? 31 00:02:39,164 --> 00:02:44,964 Bir y�l �nce 32 00:03:33,537 --> 00:03:35,495 Marin Hastanesi. Nas�l yard�m edebilirim? 33 00:03:35,539 --> 00:03:38,846 Merhaba.O�lum kayboldu ve 34 00:03:38,890 --> 00:03:41,588 bir kontrol etmenizi istiyorum... 35 00:03:41,632 --> 00:03:43,286 oraya getirildi mi 36 00:03:43,329 --> 00:03:46,593 veya kaza ge�irdi mi diye. 37 00:03:46,637 --> 00:03:49,379 �sim ve e�gal alabilir miyim efendim? 38 00:03:49,422 --> 00:03:50,945 Nicolas Sheff. 39 00:03:50,989 --> 00:03:53,339 S-H-E-F-F. 40 00:03:53,383 --> 00:03:54,949 O... 41 00:03:54,993 --> 00:03:56,690 18 ya��nda. 42 00:03:56,734 --> 00:03:59,867 1.80'den uzun. 43 00:03:59,911 --> 00:04:01,608 60 kg. civar�. 44 00:04:01,652 --> 00:04:04,829 Daha az olabilir. Bilmiyorum... 45 00:04:04,872 --> 00:04:07,353 Omuz hizas�nda kahverengi sa�l� 46 00:04:07,397 --> 00:04:09,486 ve ye�il g�zl�. 47 00:04:09,529 --> 00:04:11,270 Te�ekk�rler. Hatta kal�n. 48 00:04:11,314 --> 00:04:13,359 Tamam. 49 00:04:13,403 --> 00:04:15,579 - Bay Sheff? - Evet. 50 00:04:15,622 --> 00:04:17,755 Bu isimde biri yok efendim. 51 00:04:17,798 --> 00:04:20,410 Tamam, te�ekk�rler. 52 00:05:01,929 --> 00:05:03,888 Gideli 2 g�n oldu. 53 00:05:03,931 --> 00:05:05,542 Ne demek gideli? 54 00:05:05,585 --> 00:05:07,457 - Neler oluyor? - Bilmiyorum. 55 00:05:07,500 --> 00:05:08,893 - Bilmiyorum. - �ki g�n? 56 00:05:08,936 --> 00:05:10,416 Neden daha �nce s�ylemedin? 57 00:05:10,460 --> 00:05:12,331 San�r�m seni endi�elendirmek istemedim. 58 00:05:12,375 --> 00:05:14,812 - Ben sadece... - Ben annesiyim, David. 59 00:05:14,855 --> 00:05:16,727 Bunun olaca��n� farketmedin mi? 60 00:05:16,770 --> 00:05:17,902 Hay�r. 61 00:05:17,945 --> 00:05:19,164 Ne? 62 00:05:19,207 --> 00:05:20,992 Hay�r, bunun olaca��n� farketmedim. 63 00:05:21,035 --> 00:05:23,081 Farketseydim bir�eyler yapard�m. 64 00:05:23,124 --> 00:05:25,431 Sadece bir soruydu, David. �sa a�k�na. 65 00:05:25,475 --> 00:05:27,651 Son zamanlarda onunla pek konu�mad�m. 66 00:05:28,094 --> 00:05:30,127 Belki de bu y�zden bana babal�kla ilgili nasihat vermemen gerekiyor, 67 00:05:30,170 --> 00:05:31,263 de�il mi? 68 00:05:31,306 --> 00:05:33,265 Sittir git, Vicki. 69 00:05:33,308 --> 00:05:35,746 �u anda birbirimizi su�lamasak olmaz m�? Bu... 70 00:05:35,789 --> 00:05:37,661 Kim kimi su�luyor? 71 00:05:37,704 --> 00:05:39,880 Onu g�remememin sebebi 72 00:05:39,924 --> 00:05:41,578 sadece tatillerde L.A' e gelmek istemesi 73 00:05:41,621 --> 00:05:43,623 ama her seferinde gelmemek i�in bir mazeret bulmas�. 74 00:05:43,667 --> 00:05:46,757 Bu benim su�um mu? 75 00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:24,659 Nic. 76 00:06:25,622 --> 00:06:27,798 ��te k���k karde�in. 77 00:06:29,016 --> 00:06:30,104 S�k� tut. 78 00:06:30,148 --> 00:06:31,497 Ba��n� destekle. 79 00:06:38,722 --> 00:06:40,680 Merhaba, Jasper. 80 00:06:40,724 --> 00:06:43,378 Merhaba, k���k o�lan. 81 00:06:46,469 --> 00:06:48,471 Bu muhte�em. 82 00:06:51,474 --> 00:06:53,476 Dilini ��kard�. 83 00:06:57,697 --> 00:06:59,830 Merhaba. Tan��t���ma memnun oldum. 84 00:06:59,873 --> 00:07:01,832 - Ho��akal. - Ho��akal. 85 00:07:01,875 --> 00:07:03,660 - Bu yaz seni �zleyece�im. - Ben de. 86 00:07:03,703 --> 00:07:05,749 - Pekala, bana yaz. - Sen de bana. 87 00:07:05,792 --> 00:07:07,098 Frans�zcana �al��. 88 00:07:07,141 --> 00:07:08,491 Oui, madame(elbette, bayan). 89 00:07:08,534 --> 00:07:09,709 �yi tatiller. 90 00:07:09,753 --> 00:07:11,755 Annene selam s�yle. 91 00:07:13,974 --> 00:07:16,934 - Her�ey. - Her�ey. 92 00:07:34,158 --> 00:07:42,158 G�ZEL O�LUM �eviren:drzhivago(dryakbas) Keyifli seyirler dilerim. 93 00:08:25,655 --> 00:08:27,482 Hadi. 94 00:08:48,939 --> 00:08:50,767 Hey. 95 00:08:50,810 --> 00:08:53,508 - Nerelerdeydin? - Uykum var, tamam m�? 96 00:08:53,552 --> 00:08:55,075 Neler yap�yordun? 97 00:08:55,119 --> 00:08:56,947 Uykum var, tamam m�? Git ba��mdan. 98 00:08:57,991 --> 00:09:01,212 �ocuklar, a�a�� inin. 99 00:09:01,255 --> 00:09:03,910 Bir dakikaya gelirim. 100 00:09:47,171 --> 00:09:49,782 Bak adam�m, ben, ben... 101 00:09:49,826 --> 00:09:54,221 Ger�ekten �zg�n�m, tamam m�? Ve, ve ben... 102 00:09:54,265 --> 00:09:56,484 S���p bat�rd�m, ve bu hatayd� ,ama... 103 00:09:56,528 --> 00:09:58,835 tek seferlikti, tamam m�? Dersimi ald�m. 104 00:09:58,878 --> 00:10:02,316 Bu boku tekrar yemek istemiyorum, tamam m�? Yani... 105 00:10:02,360 --> 00:10:03,448 - Sadece i�eri girelim. - Hay�r. 106 00:10:03,491 --> 00:10:04,928 Onlar i�inin ehli. 107 00:10:04,971 --> 00:10:06,712 Ne diyeceklerini bir dinleyelim. 108 00:10:06,756 --> 00:10:08,496 Bak, ben 18 ya��nday�m, tamam m�?! Beni zorlayamazs�n! 109 00:10:08,540 --> 00:10:10,542 Hey. 110 00:10:12,631 --> 00:10:14,851 ��ler ����r�ndan ��kt�, de�il mi? 111 00:10:14,894 --> 00:10:16,635 Sence ��kmad� m�? 112 00:10:20,334 --> 00:10:22,336 Hadi. 113 00:10:23,686 --> 00:10:24,861 Pekala. 114 00:10:24,904 --> 00:10:28,691 Tamam. Tamam. 115 00:10:31,781 --> 00:10:34,305 Bunu senin i�in yap�yorum. 116 00:11:02,246 --> 00:11:04,683 Tedaviye ihityac� var. Ve acil. 117 00:11:04,727 --> 00:11:07,381 V�cudunda bir s�r� ila� var. 118 00:11:07,425 --> 00:11:10,602 Ve en k�t�s� inkar ediyor. 119 00:11:11,864 --> 00:11:14,084 Ona yard�m edebilir misiniz? 120 00:11:14,127 --> 00:11:16,303 Evet. Yani, 121 00:11:16,347 --> 00:11:19,306 buradaki bir s�r� ki�i istediklerinden gelmiyorlar. 122 00:11:19,350 --> 00:11:21,744 Ve herhangi birinin oldu�u kadar �anslar� var. 123 00:11:21,787 --> 00:11:23,746 Pekala. 124 00:11:23,789 --> 00:11:25,965 Bir tane bo� yata��m�z var. 125 00:11:26,009 --> 00:11:28,751 �sterseniz 28 g�nl�k bir tedaviye al�r 126 00:11:28,794 --> 00:11:30,622 de�erlendiririz. 127 00:11:33,799 --> 00:11:35,540 Ba�ar� oranlar�n�z nas�l? 128 00:11:35,583 --> 00:11:37,803 En iyi olas�l�kla %80, 129 00:11:37,847 --> 00:11:39,631 en k�t� 130 00:11:39,674 --> 00:11:41,807 %25. 131 00:11:41,851 --> 00:11:44,723 Bak her g�n psikiatrist ve bir doktor 132 00:11:44,767 --> 00:11:46,943 taraf�ndan kontrol edilecek. 133 00:11:46,986 --> 00:11:50,903 Herg�n uyu�turucu ve alkol toplant�lar�m�z var. 134 00:11:50,947 --> 00:11:53,384 �ok s�k� takip edilecek. 135 00:11:54,994 --> 00:11:56,996 Te�ekk�rler. 136 00:11:57,997 --> 00:12:00,217 ve son sayfa. 137 00:12:01,261 --> 00:12:03,481 Her�ey. 138 00:12:05,875 --> 00:12:08,312 Her�ey. 139 00:12:53,661 --> 00:12:56,621 Neden s�rekli bu odadas�n? 140 00:12:56,664 --> 00:12:58,841 Hi� d��ar� ��km�yorsun. 141 00:12:58,884 --> 00:13:00,625 Vampir gibisin. 142 00:13:02,148 --> 00:13:04,629 Yazar�m. 143 00:13:04,672 --> 00:13:07,197 �izerim. 144 00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:09,808 Ne yapmal�y�z, biliyor musun? 145 00:13:09,852 --> 00:13:11,854 S�rf yapmaya gitmeliyiz. 146 00:13:11,897 --> 00:13:13,638 Evet. 147 00:13:13,681 --> 00:13:15,509 Kula�a iyi geliyor mu? 148 00:13:15,553 --> 00:13:18,251 �u anda ba�ka �eylerle me�gulum, biliyor musun? 149 00:13:18,295 --> 00:13:21,951 �nsanlardan ka�an ve ciddi depresyonda olan yazarlar� okumak. 150 00:13:21,994 --> 00:13:23,561 Hadi ama, onlar... 151 00:13:23,604 --> 00:13:25,302 bir t�r muhte�em, de�il mi? 152 00:13:25,345 --> 00:13:26,346 Anlad�m. 153 00:13:28,696 --> 00:13:30,916 Ger�i bu da ge�ecek. 154 00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:32,918 Her zaman ge�er. 155 00:13:32,962 --> 00:13:34,833 Ne ge�er? 156 00:13:34,877 --> 00:13:39,098 Yabanc�l�k ve yaln�zl�k hissi. 157 00:13:39,142 --> 00:13:41,013 Ger�ekten yard�mc� oldu. 158 00:13:41,057 --> 00:13:43,102 Tavsiyen i�in te�ekk�rler, Baba. 159 00:13:44,103 --> 00:13:46,149 Tamam. 160 00:13:47,193 --> 00:13:49,587 Pekala. Bu... 161 00:13:49,630 --> 00:13:51,110 Yanl�� gibiydi. �z�r dilerim. 162 00:14:02,382 --> 00:14:04,950 Pekala. Senin fikrin. 163 00:14:04,994 --> 00:14:07,039 Hey. 164 00:14:08,649 --> 00:14:10,956 Hey, Baba. 165 00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:14,090 �ok b�y�k ilerleme kaydetti�ini d���n�yoruz. 166 00:14:14,133 --> 00:14:16,309 - De�il mi, Nic? - Merhaba. -Hey. 167 00:14:16,353 --> 00:14:18,311 - Bu muhte�em. - Bu muhte�em. 168 00:14:18,355 --> 00:14:20,183 �n�m�zdeki haftalar hakk�nda konu�mam�z gerekiyor, Nic. 169 00:14:20,226 --> 00:14:22,750 Bence biraz daha... Bence biraz daha 170 00:14:22,794 --> 00:14:24,883 tedaviye devam etmem gerekiyor. Yani e�er... 171 00:14:24,927 --> 00:14:27,190 sizin i�in sorun olmazsa, buradaki 172 00:14:27,233 --> 00:14:28,843 a��k alan tedavi merkezinde kalmak isterim. 173 00:14:28,887 --> 00:14:33,326 A��k alan tedavi merkezi; a��k bir ya�am alan�d�r, 174 00:14:33,370 --> 00:14:35,328 her gece kontroller yap�l�r ve 175 00:14:35,372 --> 00:14:38,853 i� bulmas�na bile yard�mc� oluruz. 176 00:14:38,897 --> 00:14:40,943 �u anda... 177 00:14:40,986 --> 00:14:43,597 �niversiteye... 178 00:14:43,641 --> 00:14:45,991 - gitmek istemiyorum. - �yle mi? 179 00:14:46,035 --> 00:14:48,994 Tamam. Peki ne yapacaks�n? 180 00:14:49,038 --> 00:14:52,606 Bence ba��ms�z olmal�y�m.. 181 00:14:54,869 --> 00:14:57,524 Baba, Sana s�yl�yorum, bu... 182 00:14:59,526 --> 00:15:02,051 �yi olacak. 183 00:15:02,094 --> 00:15:03,661 Ne yapacak, 184 00:15:03,704 --> 00:15:05,315 geriye kalan hayat� boyunca, kahve mi? 185 00:15:05,358 --> 00:15:06,664 Biliyorsun, Frederick bana bir arkada��n�n o�lunun 186 00:15:06,707 --> 00:15:08,666 4 haftal�k programa gitti�ini ama 187 00:15:08,709 --> 00:15:10,668 yeterli gelmeyince 188 00:15:10,711 --> 00:15:12,931 bir y�ll�k programa ba�lad���n� anlatt�. 189 00:15:12,975 --> 00:15:15,499 Umar�m �n�ne gelene bu konuyu anlatmam��s�nd�r. 190 00:15:17,414 --> 00:15:19,242 Ne alakas� var �imdi bunun? 191 00:15:19,285 --> 00:15:21,026 Nic'i korumak. Yani, bir noktada, 192 00:15:21,070 --> 00:15:22,985 hayat�na devam etmek isteyecek. 193 00:15:23,028 --> 00:15:25,030 Belki de en iyisi, bu konudan kimsenin haberinin olmamas�. 194 00:15:25,074 --> 00:15:27,032 Tamam. 195 00:15:28,642 --> 00:15:30,601 Bunu benim i�in de yapamaz m�y�z? 196 00:15:30,644 --> 00:15:32,037 Pekala. 197 00:15:32,081 --> 00:15:34,431 Bak, Nic'in daha �ok zamana ihtiyac� var. 198 00:15:34,474 --> 00:15:36,781 Anla�t�k. 199 00:15:36,824 --> 00:15:38,174 - Tamam m�? - Tamam. 200 00:15:38,217 --> 00:15:39,349 Tamam m�? 201 00:15:39,392 --> 00:15:41,003 Evet, tamam. 202 00:15:54,103 --> 00:15:55,495 David Sheff. 203 00:15:55,539 --> 00:15:57,019 Merhaba, Bay Sheff. 204 00:15:57,062 --> 00:15:59,325 Ben Annie Goldblum, Ohlhoff Merkezi'nden. 205 00:15:59,369 --> 00:16:01,458 Evet. Merhaba. 206 00:16:01,501 --> 00:16:03,112 Dinleyin, sizi rahats�z etti�im i�in kusura bakmay�n, 207 00:16:03,155 --> 00:16:05,984 ancak Nic hakk�nda haber vermem gerekiyor. 208 00:16:06,028 --> 00:16:08,378 Buyrun. 209 00:16:08,421 --> 00:16:10,989 Bug�n izin saatinde tesisi terketti ve 210 00:16:11,033 --> 00:16:13,905 hen�z d�nmedi. 211 00:16:15,341 --> 00:16:16,647 �zg�n�m, Bay Sheff, 212 00:16:16,690 --> 00:16:18,170 ancak umutsuzlu�a kap�lmay�n. 213 00:16:18,214 --> 00:16:20,346 Bunlar olur. 214 00:16:20,390 --> 00:16:22,609 Fakat ben... 215 00:16:22,653 --> 00:16:25,003 �yi gidiyor demi�tiniz. 216 00:16:25,047 --> 00:16:29,051 Bunu s�recin bir par�as� gibi de�erlendirin. 217 00:16:29,094 --> 00:16:31,401 Ataklar, iyile�me s�recinin par�as�d�r. 218 00:16:31,444 --> 00:16:33,359 �yile�me s�recinin par�as� m�d�r? 219 00:16:33,403 --> 00:16:36,406 Evet. Nic'in ��renme s�recinin bir par�as�d�r. 220 00:16:36,449 --> 00:16:38,190 Pekala, bu... 221 00:16:38,234 --> 00:16:41,628 pilot e�itiminde yere �ak�lma s�recin par�as�d�r demeye benziyor. 222 00:16:41,672 --> 00:16:44,370 Bak�n, muhtemelen �ok k�sa zamanda d�necektir. 223 00:16:44,414 --> 00:16:46,242 Onu arayan bir personeliniz var m�? 224 00:16:46,285 --> 00:16:48,157 Tesisi terketti�i anda 225 00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:49,723 bizim sorumlulu�umuzdan ��kar. 226 00:16:49,767 --> 00:16:51,464 - Pekala. - Fakat O... 227 00:17:28,066 --> 00:17:29,981 Pardon. 228 00:17:30,024 --> 00:17:32,462 Buralarda tak�lan bir �ocuk g�rd�n�z m�? 229 00:17:32,505 --> 00:17:34,290 - Hay�r. - Hay�r m�? 230 00:17:34,333 --> 00:17:36,640 Tamam. Te�ekk�rler. 231 00:18:22,381 --> 00:18:23,948 Wow. Bununla u�ra�mak istemezler. 232 00:18:23,991 --> 00:18:25,210 Hey, Baba, bundan i�mek ister misin? 233 00:18:25,254 --> 00:18:26,429 Hey. 234 00:18:26,472 --> 00:18:27,952 Bekle. Ne..? Dur. 235 00:18:27,995 --> 00:18:29,214 - Kald�r onu. - Bunu beraber i�ece�iz. 236 00:18:29,258 --> 00:18:30,868 Hay�r. Hay�r, hay�r. Kafay� m� yed.... 237 00:18:30,911 --> 00:18:32,522 - Bu ��lg�nl�k. - ��ti�ini biliyorum. 238 00:18:32,565 --> 00:18:34,132 - ... Evet, tamam. Ben... - O zaman beraber i�elim. 239 00:18:34,176 --> 00:18:35,742 Hay�r. Hay�r, hay�r. Aras�ra, sanki... 240 00:18:35,786 --> 00:18:37,483 -Bak, beraber i�e... beraber i�elim. -Dinle. 241 00:18:37,527 --> 00:18:39,529 - Veya ben sadece... Biliyor musun? - Hay�r, kes �unu, kes �unu. 242 00:18:39,572 --> 00:18:40,747 - Dur. Dur. - Sadece yakaca��m... 243 00:18:40,791 --> 00:18:41,879 Biliyor musun? Hakl�s�n. 244 00:18:41,922 --> 00:18:43,097 Tek ba��ma i�ece�im. 245 00:18:43,141 --> 00:18:44,664 Yapma. Aras�ra, 246 00:18:44,708 --> 00:18:45,926 - zaman zaman... - Evet? 247 00:18:45,970 --> 00:18:47,885 Bir partide bir veya iki f�rt �ekerdim, 248 00:18:47,928 --> 00:18:49,669 fakat uzun zaman oldu, o y�zden sadece... 249 00:18:49,713 --> 00:18:51,193 Pekala, o zaman i�elim... 250 00:18:51,236 --> 00:18:53,847 o�lunla kutlama sarmas� i�. 251 00:18:53,891 --> 00:18:56,502 Hay�r. Tanr�m, hadi. 252 00:18:56,546 --> 00:18:58,243 Hay�r. Hay�r, sen muhte�emsin. 253 00:18:58,287 --> 00:18:59,766 Sen... 6 �niversiteye ba�vurdun ve 254 00:18:59,810 --> 00:19:01,203 hepsi de kabul m� ettiler? 255 00:19:01,246 --> 00:19:02,334 Evet. 256 00:19:02,378 --> 00:19:04,380 Kendinden ��phelenmeyi b�rak. 257 00:19:04,423 --> 00:19:06,120 Bi bak kendine. 258 00:19:07,252 --> 00:19:09,689 Ver �unu. Ver �unu. 259 00:19:13,258 --> 00:19:14,912 Ne? 260 00:19:14,955 --> 00:19:17,262 Sa�lam �ektin. Baya�� sa�lam �ektin. 261 00:19:19,090 --> 00:19:21,527 - Ne? - Pekala... 262 00:19:22,572 --> 00:19:26,576 Te�ekk�rler. Bu g�zel... 263 00:19:26,619 --> 00:19:28,534 �eyi yapt���n i�in. 264 00:19:30,580 --> 00:19:33,017 Baya�� hap i�tin, de�il mi? 265 00:19:33,060 --> 00:19:34,845 Ben... 266 00:19:34,888 --> 00:19:37,064 Evet, pay�ma d��eni i�tim. 267 00:19:37,108 --> 00:19:38,544 Baz� haplar�n tad�na bakt�m. 268 00:19:38,588 --> 00:19:40,067 ��tim. 269 00:19:42,592 --> 00:19:43,897 - Fakat zarars�zlard�. - Ne, bu mu...? 270 00:19:43,941 --> 00:19:45,334 Bir o�lan vard� ve... Hay�r, hay�r. 271 00:19:45,377 --> 00:19:46,552 Vaaz k�sm�na m� geldik? 272 00:19:46,596 --> 00:19:48,293 - De�il mi? - Evet. 273 00:19:48,337 --> 00:19:49,773 Baba, �ok endi�eleniyorsun. 274 00:19:49,816 --> 00:19:51,862 - Herkes i�iyor. - Sadece dikkatli ol. 275 00:19:51,905 --> 00:19:54,343 Bu sadece k���k bir sarma. Biraz de az�c�k �ekiyorum. 276 00:19:54,386 --> 00:19:56,432 Bu sadece... bilirsin, uzun s�redir ilk defa. 277 00:19:57,868 --> 00:20:00,087 Az�c�k �ekmeyi hakediyorum. 278 00:20:00,131 --> 00:20:01,611 - "�ekmeyi haketmek." - Hakediyorum. 279 00:20:01,654 --> 00:20:04,701 Bak, bu sadece...gerginli�imi al�yor. 280 00:20:04,744 --> 00:20:08,226 Bu, bu...t�m g�n�n aptal ger�ekli�inin gerginli�ini al�yor. 281 00:20:12,448 --> 00:20:16,060 Ger�ekli�in aptal taraf� neresi? 282 00:20:16,103 --> 00:20:18,018 Bilirsin, �ey gibi... 283 00:20:18,062 --> 00:20:21,979 herg�n olan, �nemsiz aptal �eyler gibi. 284 00:20:22,022 --> 00:20:23,459 Tamam. 285 00:20:23,502 --> 00:20:25,417 B�yle aptalca �eyler s�ylersen 286 00:20:25,461 --> 00:20:26,897 bir s�re sonra inanmaya ba�lars�n. 287 00:20:26,940 --> 00:20:28,594 Do�ru. 288 00:20:39,118 --> 00:20:41,118 Kristal meth ba��ml�l���n�n belirtileri 289 00:20:42,142 --> 00:20:44,142 A��r� derecede ba��ml�l�k yapan uyar�c� bir ila�t�r. 290 00:20:46,166 --> 00:20:50,166 Meth ki�inin duygu durumunu h�zla de�i�tirip k�zg�n ve sald�rgan yapabilir. 291 00:20:58,145 --> 00:21:00,322 Bunu getirdi�in i�in sa�ol, Karen. 292 00:21:06,110 --> 00:21:07,851 Buras� benim evim. 293 00:21:09,548 --> 00:21:11,724 Birka� hafta �nce, bana sadece 294 00:21:11,768 --> 00:21:15,293 bir kez meth kulland���n� s�ylemi�tin. 295 00:21:15,337 --> 00:21:18,252 Bundan fazlas� var, de�il mi? 296 00:21:18,296 --> 00:21:20,429 Daha fazla kulland�n. 297 00:21:20,472 --> 00:21:21,734 Do�ru mu? 298 00:21:21,778 --> 00:21:22,996 David. 299 00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:24,171 Bilmek zorunday�z. 300 00:21:25,216 --> 00:21:27,131 Bilmek zorunday�z. 301 00:21:30,613 --> 00:21:33,006 Bence her zaman ho�uma gidiyordu. 302 00:21:33,050 --> 00:21:35,095 Ne? 303 00:21:36,575 --> 00:21:39,404 Herbiri. Sarma, alkol, 304 00:21:39,448 --> 00:21:42,625 Ekstazi, kokain, LSD. 305 00:21:44,148 --> 00:21:46,455 Sen de t�m bunlar� kulland�n.... 306 00:21:46,498 --> 00:21:48,500 y�llard�r �yle mi? 307 00:21:48,544 --> 00:21:50,546 Birka� y�ld�r, evet. 308 00:21:51,764 --> 00:21:53,244 Ya meth? 309 00:21:54,593 --> 00:21:56,639 Sadece birka� ay oldu. 310 00:21:58,031 --> 00:21:59,381 Neden? 311 00:22:02,035 --> 00:22:03,036 Bilmiyorum. 312 00:22:09,913 --> 00:22:12,742 Onu kulland���mda, hi�... 313 00:22:18,138 --> 00:22:21,577 olmad���m kadar iyi hissettim, sonu�ta... 314 00:22:21,620 --> 00:22:24,014 kullanmaya devam ettim. 315 00:22:24,057 --> 00:22:27,278 �ok fazla sarma i�iyorsun diye benim �d�m koparken, 316 00:22:27,321 --> 00:22:31,804 sen gezegendeki her t�rl� uyu�turucuyu mu i�iyordun? 317 00:22:31,848 --> 00:22:35,895 Ve benden gizleyip yalan m� s�yl�yordun? 318 00:22:35,939 --> 00:22:37,462 Neden? 319 00:22:38,724 --> 00:22:40,770 - Bilmiyorum... - Neden? 320 00:22:40,813 --> 00:22:42,467 - Nic, s�yle bana neden? - Sakin. 321 00:22:42,511 --> 00:22:44,643 - Bilmiyorum. - Yak�n�z san�yordum. 322 00:22:44,687 --> 00:22:46,950 T�m baba ve evlatlardan daha yak�n�z san�yordum. 323 00:22:46,993 --> 00:22:48,908 Evet, seni her zaman hayal k�r�kl���na u�ratt���m� hissettim. 324 00:22:48,952 --> 00:22:50,388 �niversiteye gitmedim diye hayal k�r�kl���na u�rad���n� hissettim. 325 00:22:50,432 --> 00:22:51,563 Beni su�layabilir misin?! 326 00:22:51,607 --> 00:22:53,217 �ok k�sa zaman �nce, 327 00:22:53,260 --> 00:22:55,437 okuyordun, yaz�yordun ve 328 00:22:55,480 --> 00:22:56,873 su topu tak�m�ndayd�n. 329 00:22:56,916 --> 00:22:58,440 �imdi halimize bak. 330 00:22:58,483 --> 00:22:59,963 - Baba... - Biraz durur musunuz? - Bu biz de�iliz. 331 00:23:00,006 --> 00:23:02,095 - Bu biz olamay�z. - Sadece, l�tfen, 332 00:23:02,139 --> 00:23:03,793 ikiniz de durun. 333 00:23:03,836 --> 00:23:06,709 Baba, her�ey i�in �ok �zg�n�m. 334 00:23:08,145 --> 00:23:10,321 Baba, ben �yle... 335 00:23:12,889 --> 00:23:15,282 Ger�ekten �zg�n�m, Baba. 336 00:23:19,156 --> 00:23:21,463 Nic, neyin varsa... 337 00:23:22,638 --> 00:23:25,075 ...tekrar bulacaks�n. 338 00:23:27,817 --> 00:23:30,950 Ve geri alacaks�n. 339 00:24:11,904 --> 00:24:13,776 Nic! 340 00:24:23,655 --> 00:24:25,657 Nic! 341 00:24:26,963 --> 00:24:28,355 Nic! 342 00:24:30,140 --> 00:24:31,837 Nic! 343 00:24:42,239 --> 00:24:44,241 Nic! 344 00:24:58,647 --> 00:25:00,083 Merhaba, Baba. 345 00:25:00,126 --> 00:25:01,824 Merhaba. 346 00:25:01,867 --> 00:25:03,477 New York nas�l? 347 00:25:03,521 --> 00:25:04,696 �yi. G�zel. 348 00:25:04,740 --> 00:25:06,089 Bug�nk� r�portaj iyi ge�ti. 349 00:25:06,132 --> 00:25:07,525 - G�zel. - Sen nas�ls�n? 350 00:25:07,569 --> 00:25:10,136 �yiyim. Evet. 351 00:25:10,180 --> 00:25:11,790 �yle mi? Emin misin? 352 00:25:11,834 --> 00:25:13,618 Evet. Bilmiyorum.... 353 00:25:13,662 --> 00:25:15,402 Ne? 354 00:25:15,446 --> 00:25:17,013 Bu... 355 00:25:17,056 --> 00:25:18,492 Neler oluyor? 356 00:25:18,536 --> 00:25:21,408 �u grup toplant�lar�n�n birindeydik 357 00:25:21,452 --> 00:25:24,020 ve oradaki �ocuklardan biri �niversiteye gitmek i�in 358 00:25:24,063 --> 00:25:26,152 can att���n� ama gidemedi�ini s�yledi. 359 00:25:26,196 --> 00:25:28,198 - Tamam. - Sonradan konu�tu�umuzda, 360 00:25:28,241 --> 00:25:30,417 "Aptal olma, hala �niversiteye gitme �ans�n var, 361 00:25:30,461 --> 00:25:32,419 git �niversiteye" dedi. 362 00:25:33,682 --> 00:25:35,205 Bilmiyorum, ��lg�nca geliyor. 363 00:25:35,248 --> 00:25:38,251 Belki bunu d���nmemeliyim. 364 00:25:38,295 --> 00:25:39,470 Yazmay� seviyorum. 365 00:25:39,513 --> 00:25:42,038 Bu konuda iyi oldu�umu da d���n�yorum ama 366 00:25:42,081 --> 00:25:44,823 zaten �ok �ey yazd�m ve... 367 00:25:44,867 --> 00:25:47,696 a��k�as�, hala ��renmem gereken 368 00:25:47,739 --> 00:25:50,089 bir s�r� �ey var... 369 00:25:51,700 --> 00:25:53,919 Herneyse... 370 00:25:53,963 --> 00:25:56,748 Yine de bir denemek isterim... 371 00:25:56,792 --> 00:25:59,621 e�er sizce de bir sak�ncas� yoksa. 372 00:26:02,493 --> 00:26:05,975 Tamam. Annen ve Karen'la bu konuyu konu�urum. 373 00:26:07,019 --> 00:26:08,804 Bir tanesi arkada. 374 00:26:32,088 --> 00:26:33,698 Oda arkada��nla tan��mad�n m�? 375 00:26:33,742 --> 00:26:34,917 Tan��t�m, kibar biri. 376 00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:37,006 Koridorda. 377 00:26:37,049 --> 00:26:38,311 Senin i�in korktum. 378 00:26:41,140 --> 00:26:42,664 Korkma ben e�itirim onu. 379 00:26:44,491 --> 00:26:46,711 Fark�na varmadan John Zorn dinlemeye ba�layacak. 380 00:26:57,026 --> 00:26:58,941 Art�k gitsem iyi olacak. 381 00:26:58,984 --> 00:27:00,333 Pekala. 382 00:27:12,041 --> 00:27:15,636 - Her�ey. - Her�ey. 383 00:27:30,189 --> 00:27:31,887 Charles Bukowski'nin yazd��� 384 00:27:31,930 --> 00:27:33,497 bir �iir bu. 385 00:27:35,151 --> 00:27:39,546 Bu adam bir �ok kez hayat�m� kurtard�, o y�zden.. 386 00:27:39,590 --> 00:27:43,115 " ��e girdim ��kt�m, ta��nd�m, 387 00:27:43,159 --> 00:27:44,900 "Tatillerden nefret ettim, 388 00:27:44,943 --> 00:27:47,511 "bebeklerden,tarihten, 389 00:27:47,554 --> 00:27:50,862 "gazetelerden, m�zelerden, b�y�kannelerden, 390 00:27:50,906 --> 00:27:54,866 evlilikten, filmlerden, �r�mceklerden..." 391 00:27:54,910 --> 00:27:56,694 G�rmek istedi�im bu, G�rmek istedi�im bu! 392 00:27:56,738 --> 00:27:58,043 "...��p��lerden, 393 00:27:58,087 --> 00:27:59,349 - "�ngiliz aksan�ndan... - G�zel. devam, devam, devam! 394 00:27:59,392 --> 00:28:01,481 "...�spanya'dan, Fransa'dan, 395 00:28:01,525 --> 00:28:05,529 "Italya'dan, cevizlerden ve turuncu renkten. 396 00:28:05,572 --> 00:28:11,187 "Matematik sinirlendirdi, opera hasta etti, 397 00:28:11,230 --> 00:28:12,797 "Charlie Chaplin sahteydi ve 398 00:28:12,841 --> 00:28:15,365 �i�ekler efemineler i�indi." 399 00:28:19,108 --> 00:28:21,110 Te�ekk�rler. 400 00:28:37,039 --> 00:28:39,781 Gel buraya. 401 00:28:47,527 --> 00:28:50,095 Merhaba. 402 00:29:12,204 --> 00:29:13,727 Banyo nerede? 403 00:29:13,771 --> 00:29:15,251 Banyonuzu kullanabilir miyim? 404 00:29:15,294 --> 00:29:16,339 Elbette, tatl�m. 405 00:29:16,382 --> 00:29:17,601 Yerini g�stereyim. 406 00:29:17,644 --> 00:29:19,211 Yukar� ��k, solda. 407 00:30:31,588 --> 00:30:33,938 - Merhaba, Baba. - Merhaba, Nic. 408 00:30:33,982 --> 00:30:35,722 Nas�ls�n? Nas�l gidiyor? 409 00:30:35,766 --> 00:30:37,159 Her�ey yolunda gidiyor. 410 00:30:37,202 --> 00:30:38,638 G�nderdi�in para i�in te�ekk�r ederim. 411 00:30:38,682 --> 00:30:39,813 Ger�ekten minnettar�m. 412 00:30:40,137 --> 00:30:42,137 G�venli enjeksiyon. 413 00:32:06,465 --> 00:32:09,077 Evet, her zaman fond�ye bay�l�rd�n. 414 00:32:09,120 --> 00:32:11,601 Patrick ve Phil yar�n y�r�y��e gidecekler 415 00:32:11,644 --> 00:32:14,691 onlara kat�lmam�z ho�lar�na gider. 416 00:32:19,087 --> 00:32:20,610 Jasper ve Daisy buralarda m�...? 417 00:32:20,653 --> 00:32:22,612 - Burada de�iller. - �yle mi? 418 00:32:22,655 --> 00:32:24,353 - Hay�r. - Beni g�rmek istemediler mi? 419 00:32:24,396 --> 00:32:26,920 - Hay�r,seni g�rmek istemediler. - Bunu duymak a��r�ma gitti. 420 00:32:26,964 --> 00:32:30,011 O zaman bu kanepeye oturup bu konuda biraz 421 00:32:30,054 --> 00:32:31,142 d���nmem gerekiyor, de�il mi? 422 00:32:32,622 --> 00:32:35,973 Aman Tanr�m, bu Daisy! 423 00:32:36,017 --> 00:32:37,583 Jasper! 424 00:32:37,627 --> 00:32:40,456 Aman Tanr�m, ne kadar da b�y�m��s�n�z! 425 00:32:40,499 --> 00:32:43,502 Aman Tanr�m, siz �yle...! 426 00:32:44,764 --> 00:32:46,462 - Pekala. - Danimarka, 1632. 427 00:32:46,505 --> 00:32:48,638 - Hay�r. - Biz... 428 00:32:48,681 --> 00:32:52,772 Hula-Hop tarihine bir g�z atmak gibi. 429 00:32:52,816 --> 00:32:55,340 Bar�� ve bilgelik k�lt�r�.... 430 00:32:55,384 --> 00:32:57,690 �yle �nemli ki. 431 00:32:57,734 --> 00:32:59,214 Bir adam 432 00:32:59,257 --> 00:33:01,520 - ad� George... - Hoopulu. 433 00:33:01,564 --> 00:33:04,610 O..., O... 434 00:33:04,654 --> 00:33:06,308 d���nd� ve dedi ki... 435 00:33:06,351 --> 00:33:08,875 "Pekala, bir �ey 436 00:33:08,919 --> 00:33:10,486 icat etmem gerekiyor..." 437 00:33:16,013 --> 00:33:17,362 Hey. 438 00:33:17,406 --> 00:33:20,278 Hey... 439 00:33:20,322 --> 00:33:22,759 Hey... 440 00:33:22,802 --> 00:33:25,718 Bu ak�am araban� alabilir miyim? 441 00:33:25,762 --> 00:33:28,156 ��nk�... bir toplant�ya kat�lmak istiyorum. 442 00:33:28,199 --> 00:33:30,114 Bu ak�am toplant�ya m� kat�lacaks�n? 443 00:33:30,158 --> 00:33:31,985 Tamam, olur. 444 00:33:35,380 --> 00:33:36,729 �yi misin? 445 00:33:36,773 --> 00:33:38,427 Evet. Ben sadece... 446 00:33:39,689 --> 00:33:41,125 - �ok ��lg�nlar. - Evet. 447 00:33:41,169 --> 00:33:43,823 Evde oldu�un i�in �ok heyecanl�lar. 448 00:33:45,869 --> 00:33:48,698 - Yani, sabah g�r���r�z san�r�m. - Tamam. 449 00:33:50,395 --> 00:33:52,354 Pekala. 450 00:34:15,116 --> 00:34:16,943 Evet! 451 00:34:39,575 --> 00:34:41,316 Nerede?! 452 00:34:41,359 --> 00:34:42,882 Bende de�il! 453 00:34:42,926 --> 00:34:44,406 Nerede?! 454 00:34:44,449 --> 00:34:45,972 Bende de�il! 455 00:34:46,016 --> 00:34:47,800 �ocuklar, �ocuklar, �ocuklar. 456 00:34:47,844 --> 00:34:49,498 Nerede?! 457 00:34:49,541 --> 00:34:51,195 - �ocuklar, �ocuklar, kesin �unu. - Bilmiyorum! 458 00:34:51,239 --> 00:34:53,023 Durun. Sakin olun. Neler oluyor? 459 00:34:53,066 --> 00:34:54,851 Param� ald�! 460 00:34:54,894 --> 00:34:56,287 Almad�m. 461 00:34:56,331 --> 00:34:58,507 Tamam, pekala. Hadi, a�a�� inip 462 00:34:58,550 --> 00:35:00,248 - annenizle konu�un, tamam m�? - Sen ald�n! 463 00:35:00,291 --> 00:35:02,206 Yapma, yapma, dur, dur. 464 00:35:02,250 --> 00:35:05,253 - Ben almad�m, Baba. - Almad���n� biliyorum. Pekala. 465 00:35:05,296 --> 00:35:08,038 Sadece a�a�� inip kahvalt�n�z� yap�n. 466 00:35:08,081 --> 00:35:09,170 Hey, ne oldu? 467 00:35:10,867 --> 00:35:12,216 Paralar�m gitmi�. 468 00:35:12,260 --> 00:35:14,740 Pekala, oraya koydu�una emin misin? 469 00:35:14,784 --> 00:35:17,917 - Evet, d�n koydum. - Tamam. 470 00:35:24,924 --> 00:35:26,926 Jasper'�n biriktirdikleri kaybolmu�. 471 00:35:28,928 --> 00:35:30,930 �yle mi? Bu tuhaf. 472 00:35:36,284 --> 00:35:39,243 8 dolar�n� sen mi ald�n? 473 00:35:40,418 --> 00:35:41,898 Ne? 474 00:35:41,941 --> 00:35:43,204 Beni duydun. 475 00:35:44,248 --> 00:35:45,989 Neden alay�m ki? 476 00:35:46,032 --> 00:35:48,774 Kayboldu�una g�re biri alm�� olmal�. 477 00:35:48,818 --> 00:35:50,689 Do�ru, o zaman ben alm���md�r. 478 00:35:50,733 --> 00:35:53,126 Bu �ok sa�ma. 479 00:35:53,170 --> 00:35:56,347 Tekrar kullanmaya m� ba�lad�n? 480 00:35:56,391 --> 00:35:59,176 Tekrar kullanmaya m� ba�lad�m? Hay�r. 481 00:36:01,178 --> 00:36:03,920 �u anda kafan iyi mi? 482 00:36:03,963 --> 00:36:05,574 Ne...? Hay�r. 483 00:36:05,617 --> 00:36:07,663 - Sittir git. - "Sittir git" mi? 484 00:36:07,706 --> 00:36:09,186 Benimle bu �ekilde konu�ma. 485 00:36:09,230 --> 00:36:10,796 �u anda kafan iyi mi? 486 00:36:10,840 --> 00:36:12,189 Hay�r. 487 00:36:12,233 --> 00:36:13,799 �u anda kullanm�yorsun, de�il mi? 488 00:36:13,843 --> 00:36:15,236 Kullan�yor musun? 489 00:36:15,279 --> 00:36:18,935 Hay�r, Baba, �u anda s.kik kafam iyi de�il! 490 00:36:18,978 --> 00:36:20,980 Tamam. 491 00:36:24,332 --> 00:36:27,639 Dinle, seni �niversiteye g�ndermek bir kumard�. 492 00:36:27,683 --> 00:36:30,381 Herkes g�nder dedi. 493 00:36:30,425 --> 00:36:32,383 Gitti�in i�in de mutluyum. 494 00:36:33,558 --> 00:36:36,082 Ataklar iyile�menin par�... 495 00:36:36,126 --> 00:36:38,041 Ataklar iyile�menin bir par�as�. 496 00:36:38,084 --> 00:36:42,001 - O y�zden senin... - Gitsem iyi olacak. 497 00:36:50,401 --> 00:36:52,882 - David? - Hey. 498 00:36:52,925 --> 00:36:55,667 Sadece... nereye gideceksin? 499 00:36:55,711 --> 00:36:57,974 �yle �ekip gidemezsin. Bu sa�ma. 500 00:36:58,017 --> 00:36:59,628 - Hadi. - Bizimle konu�amaz m�s�n? 501 00:36:59,671 --> 00:37:01,586 Yani, ger�ekten... sadece konu�mak istiyoruz. 502 00:37:01,630 --> 00:37:04,023 Neden... anlamam�za yard�m etmiyorsun? 503 00:37:04,067 --> 00:37:05,721 - Ya da sana yard�m etmemize. - Tamam m�? 504 00:37:05,764 --> 00:37:07,244 Lanet yard�m�n�z� istemiyorum. Anlam�yor musunuz? 505 00:37:07,288 --> 00:37:08,637 - Hay�r. - Hay�r, yapma. �sa a�k�na, o halde 506 00:37:08,680 --> 00:37:09,986 ne derdiniz var benimle , ha? 507 00:37:10,029 --> 00:37:11,422 - Ne derdiniz var sizin? - Nic. 508 00:37:11,466 --> 00:37:12,945 - Hay�r! Beni bo�uyorsunuz. - Hey. 509 00:37:12,989 --> 00:37:14,556 Beni bo�uyorsunuz.! 510 00:37:14,599 --> 00:37:17,036 Biz mi? Sorun biz miyiz? 511 00:37:17,080 --> 00:37:19,300 Hay�r, bunun sebebi sensin, sen yapt�n! 512 00:37:19,343 --> 00:37:21,040 Bunun sebebi sensin! 513 00:37:21,084 --> 00:37:23,304 Bunu durdurabilecek tek ki�i de sensin! 514 00:37:23,347 --> 00:37:25,306 Lanet sorununu ��z! 515 00:37:53,595 --> 00:37:54,639 Lanet olsun! 516 00:37:55,684 --> 00:37:57,207 Lanet olsun! 517 00:38:31,031 --> 00:38:33,531 Tek bir PERCOCET (uyu�turucu hap) ne kadar zararl� olabilir? 518 00:38:49,155 --> 00:38:51,655 �la�lar�n, siyah beyaz d�nyam� rengarenk yapt���n� ke�fedince onlardan vazge�medim. 519 00:38:51,679 --> 00:38:53,179 �imdi insanlara ne duymak istiyorlarsa onu s�yl�yorum. 520 00:39:03,103 --> 00:39:05,103 Her�ey daha �abuk par�alan�yor. 521 00:39:08,127 --> 00:39:10,127 Daha �ok kulland�k�a, daha �ok utan�lacak �ey yap�yorum, 522 00:39:10,151 --> 00:39:12,151 ben de daha �ok kullan�p bununla y�zle�mek zorunda kalm�yorum. 523 00:39:18,175 --> 00:39:20,175 Eski g�nlere d�nmek o kadar uzak g�r�n�yor ki. 524 00:39:26,999 --> 00:39:28,999 Burada Meth bulmak �ok zor. Onun yerine eroin al�yorum. 525 00:39:30,123 --> 00:39:32,123 Tek yapabildi�im ileri ve ileri gitmek. Geriye bakmamak. 526 00:39:50,320 --> 00:39:52,714 Demek, bu �ey i�in.. 527 00:39:52,757 --> 00:39:54,455 New York Times Magazine? 528 00:39:54,498 --> 00:39:56,239 Hay�r, bu... 529 00:39:56,282 --> 00:39:57,588 Ben... Ben yazar�m. 530 00:39:57,632 --> 00:39:59,155 De�i�ik dergiler i�in yazar�m 531 00:39:59,198 --> 00:40:02,245 ama bu ki�isel bir konu. 532 00:40:02,288 --> 00:40:04,508 - Ki�isel bir konu? - Evet. �z�r dilerim. 533 00:40:04,552 --> 00:40:06,771 - Sorun olur mu? - Hay�r, elbette olmaz. 534 00:40:06,815 --> 00:40:08,686 Bunun ne hakk�nda oldu�unu sorabilir miyim ve...? 535 00:40:08,730 --> 00:40:11,167 Bu o�lum hakk�nda. 536 00:40:11,210 --> 00:40:13,212 Tamam. 537 00:40:16,215 --> 00:40:19,436 Envai �e�it ila� denedi ve sonunda 538 00:40:19,480 --> 00:40:21,351 kristal meth ba��ml�s� oldu, 539 00:40:21,394 --> 00:40:25,181 o da i�lerinde en k�t�s� gibi g�r�n�yor.. 540 00:40:25,224 --> 00:40:27,488 Bence burada olma nedenim 541 00:40:27,531 --> 00:40:31,230 t�m bunlar hakk�nda... 542 00:40:31,274 --> 00:40:34,233 neler yapabilece�imi ��renmek istemem. 543 00:40:34,277 --> 00:40:36,801 Kristal meth, kullan�c�ya 544 00:40:36,845 --> 00:40:38,716 ilac� ald��� anda 545 00:40:38,760 --> 00:40:41,327 ge�ici bir keyif hali verir. 546 00:40:41,371 --> 00:40:42,546 Ancak v�cut al��t�k�a dopamin deposunun 547 00:40:42,590 --> 00:40:44,374 %60 kadar�n� bo�altt���ndan 548 00:40:44,417 --> 00:40:47,333 kullan�c� dozu artt�rmak zorunda kal�r. 549 00:40:47,377 --> 00:40:51,381 Ayn� keyifi almak i�in dozu ikiye, ��e katlamak 550 00:40:51,424 --> 00:40:53,557 zorunda kal�r, bu da daha �ok sinir hasar�na 551 00:40:53,601 --> 00:40:57,474 ve kullanma tak�nt�s�na yol a�ar.. 552 00:40:57,518 --> 00:40:59,041 K�s�r d�ng�. 553 00:41:01,086 --> 00:41:03,262 - Naber? - Hey. 554 00:41:03,306 --> 00:41:06,004 Biraz ara�t�rma yap�yorum. 555 00:41:33,292 --> 00:41:35,251 Merhaba. 556 00:41:41,300 --> 00:41:43,389 A� m�s�n? 557 00:41:43,433 --> 00:41:46,567 Bir�eyler yemek ister misin? 558 00:41:46,610 --> 00:41:49,221 �o�u erkek benden oral seks yapmam� ister. 559 00:41:49,265 --> 00:41:52,834 Hay�r. Hay�r, Ben sadece bir�eyler yemek ister misin diye sordum. 560 00:41:52,877 --> 00:41:55,271 E�er sorun olmazsa biraz da konu�mak isterim. 561 00:41:55,314 --> 00:41:58,666 Meth beyine fiziksel zarar verir. 562 00:41:58,709 --> 00:42:01,146 Burada meth kullananlar�n beyinlerindeki dopamin resept�r 563 00:42:01,190 --> 00:42:03,148 say�s�ndaki azalmay� g�rebilirsin. 564 00:42:03,192 --> 00:42:06,761 �imdi, sana ba�ka bir�ey g�stermek istiyorum. 565 00:42:06,804 --> 00:42:09,502 Buradaki iki b�y�k k�rm�z� noktay� 566 00:42:09,546 --> 00:42:11,113 - g�rebiliyor musun? - Evet. 567 00:42:11,156 --> 00:42:13,898 Bu amygdaladaki hiperaktiviteyi g�steriyor. 568 00:42:13,942 --> 00:42:15,857 Amygdala; gerginlik ve korku 569 00:42:15,900 --> 00:42:18,381 ile ba�lant�l� beyin b�lgesidir. 570 00:42:18,424 --> 00:42:20,557 Burada g�rd���n amygdala ���l�k at�yor. 571 00:42:24,300 --> 00:42:26,345 Bu da bize meth ba��ml�lar�n�n normal tedavi 572 00:42:26,389 --> 00:42:28,783 programlar�na kat�lmalar�ndaki ba�ar�s�zl���n, isteksizliklerinden de�il 573 00:42:28,826 --> 00:42:32,525 yapamad�klar�ndan kaynakland���n� 574 00:42:32,569 --> 00:42:34,658 g�steren biyolojik temeli 575 00:42:34,702 --> 00:42:37,661 i�aret ediyor. 576 00:42:37,705 --> 00:42:39,184 Ben de tedavi program�ndayd�m. 577 00:42:40,316 --> 00:42:41,839 3 kez denedim. 578 00:42:41,883 --> 00:42:44,320 Her seferinde ka�t�m. 579 00:42:44,363 --> 00:42:46,801 Neden? 580 00:42:46,844 --> 00:42:49,020 Cehennem gibiydi. 581 00:42:49,064 --> 00:42:51,457 �lmek istedim. 582 00:42:51,501 --> 00:42:53,459 Neden cehennem gibiydi? 583 00:42:53,503 --> 00:42:56,332 Bunlar m�thi� �eyler. 584 00:42:56,375 --> 00:42:58,334 ��ler k�t�ye gitti�inde, ne kadar iyi geldi�ini 585 00:42:58,377 --> 00:43:00,336 sana anlatamam. 586 00:43:00,379 --> 00:43:02,468 A��klamas� zor. 587 00:43:02,512 --> 00:43:04,383 Kokain �ekmek gibi ama 588 00:43:04,427 --> 00:43:05,994 binle �arpt���n� d���n, 589 00:43:06,037 --> 00:43:07,691 ya da milyonla. 590 00:43:07,735 --> 00:43:10,346 Bunun Nic i�in anlam� ne? 591 00:43:10,389 --> 00:43:12,348 Bak�n, Bay Sheff, Ben... 592 00:43:12,391 --> 00:43:15,307 bilmiyorum kim size ne vaat etti ama 593 00:43:15,351 --> 00:43:19,355 tedavide ba�ar� oran� % 10'u ge�mez. 594 00:43:21,313 --> 00:43:22,663 Tamam. 595 00:43:24,752 --> 00:43:27,537 Ya ailen? 596 00:43:27,580 --> 00:43:29,713 Ne olmu� onlara? 597 00:43:29,757 --> 00:43:32,585 Senin i�in endi�elendiklerini d���nmedin mi hi�? 598 00:43:32,629 --> 00:43:35,110 Sence onlar�n olan biteni... 599 00:43:35,153 --> 00:43:37,416 bilmeye hakk� yok mu? 600 00:43:37,460 --> 00:43:39,723 Umurlar�nda olmaz. 601 00:43:39,767 --> 00:43:43,118 Bence olur. 602 00:43:44,162 --> 00:43:47,165 Sen nereden biliyorsun? 603 00:43:53,955 --> 00:43:55,913 Gitmeliyim. 604 00:43:55,957 --> 00:43:59,134 Pekala. 605 00:44:02,485 --> 00:44:05,053 Te�ekk�rler. 606 00:45:22,521 --> 00:45:24,088 Tanr�m. 607 00:46:52,960 --> 00:46:54,875 Seninle Klingon dilinde konu�aca��m, 608 00:46:54,918 --> 00:46:56,006 Haz�r m�s�n? 609 00:47:04,623 --> 00:47:06,799 - Ne dedim? - Coca-Cola alabilir miyim? 610 00:47:06,843 --> 00:47:08,236 Kesinlikle. 611 00:47:08,279 --> 00:47:10,064 Budur. 612 00:47:10,107 --> 00:47:12,066 Sordu�um �ey tam olarak buydu. 613 00:47:12,109 --> 00:47:13,545 Coca-Cola alabilir miyim? 614 00:47:13,589 --> 00:47:15,460 Pekala. E�er Klingon dilinde sorabilirsen, 615 00:47:15,504 --> 00:47:17,506 almana izin verebilirim. 616 00:47:35,089 --> 00:47:37,221 Hey. 617 00:47:53,150 --> 00:47:55,370 Hi� de�i�memi�. 618 00:47:55,413 --> 00:47:58,503 Mekan. 619 00:47:59,635 --> 00:48:01,332 - Hey. - Nas�ls�n? 620 00:48:01,376 --> 00:48:02,768 �ok iyiyim. 621 00:48:02,812 --> 00:48:04,988 Bilirsin, sadece... 622 00:48:05,032 --> 00:48:06,816 um... 623 00:48:06,859 --> 00:48:08,818 yap�lmas� gerekenleri yap�yorum. 624 00:48:09,862 --> 00:48:11,690 Ne demek bu? 625 00:48:11,734 --> 00:48:15,477 Kendi sorumlulu�umu al�yorum... 626 00:48:15,520 --> 00:48:17,740 kendi ba��ma ��kabiliyorum ve bilirsin.. 627 00:48:17,783 --> 00:48:19,916 5 g�nd�r kullanmad�m. 628 00:48:21,526 --> 00:48:23,789 �yi gidiyor gibi hissediyorum ama biraz �eye ihtiyac�m var... 629 00:48:23,833 --> 00:48:26,967 bir ka� y�z dolara a��k�as�. 630 00:48:27,010 --> 00:48:28,707 Nic, sana para veremem. 631 00:48:30,709 --> 00:48:32,668 Evet. 632 00:48:32,711 --> 00:48:34,931 Tamam. 633 00:48:34,975 --> 00:48:36,672 Sadece 200 dolar. Bir�eyleri yoluna koymak 634 00:48:36,715 --> 00:48:38,239 istiyorum. 635 00:48:38,282 --> 00:48:39,544 New York'a gitme niyetindeyim. 636 00:48:39,588 --> 00:48:41,851 - New York'a m�? - Evet. 637 00:48:41,894 --> 00:48:43,722 San Francisco'dan ��kmak zorunday�m. 638 00:48:43,766 --> 00:48:45,420 Burada �ok fazla... 639 00:48:45,463 --> 00:48:47,335 her zaman kendimi 640 00:48:47,378 --> 00:48:50,294 hissettiren bir s�r� �ey var burada. 641 00:48:50,338 --> 00:48:52,209 Evet, sonu�ta birka� y�z dolara ihtiyac�m var. 642 00:48:52,253 --> 00:48:54,603 Neden sadece yemek yiyip sohbet etmiyoruz? 643 00:48:54,646 --> 00:48:57,171 - Yapabiliriz, de�il mi? - Evet. 644 00:49:03,177 --> 00:49:05,875 Karen ve �ocuklar nas�l? 645 00:49:05,918 --> 00:49:09,313 Seni soruyorlar. 646 00:49:09,357 --> 00:49:12,229 Haftaya �st s�n�fa ge�ecekler, e�er gelirsen mutlu... 647 00:49:12,273 --> 00:49:14,144 Baba, bana kendimi su�lu hissettiriyorsun, tamam m�? 648 00:49:14,188 --> 00:49:15,667 Hay�r, sadece diyorum ki... 649 00:49:15,711 --> 00:49:17,974 Kendimi �ok k�t� hissetmeliyim. 650 00:49:19,497 --> 00:49:24,111 Tek dedi�im orada olsan mutlu olurlard�. 651 00:49:24,154 --> 00:49:25,808 �z�r dilerim, Baba. 652 00:49:25,851 --> 00:49:29,333 Tek istedi�im biraz lanet olas� para, tamam m�? 653 00:49:29,377 --> 00:49:30,813 O y�zden bana �u lanet paray� ver l�tfen. 654 00:49:30,856 --> 00:49:32,119 Ya sonra? Bu ne zaman bitecek? 655 00:49:32,162 --> 00:49:33,685 Bu bana... Akl�ma bu geldi. 656 00:49:33,729 --> 00:49:35,296 �u anda i�ime yarayacak gibi g�r�n�yor. 657 00:49:35,339 --> 00:49:36,601 - 5 g�nd�r temizim. - ��e yar�yor gibi 658 00:49:36,645 --> 00:49:37,863 g�r�nm�yor, Nic. 659 00:49:37,907 --> 00:49:39,039 ��e yaram�� gibi g�r�nm�yor mu? 660 00:49:39,082 --> 00:49:39,952 - Ne yani bundan sonra ne var, tedavi mi? - Hay�r. 661 00:49:39,996 --> 00:49:41,389 - Eve d�nebilirsin. - Hay�r. 662 00:49:41,432 --> 00:49:42,868 - Bu olmaz... - Bir dene, l�tfen. 663 00:49:42,912 --> 00:49:44,392 Nic. 664 00:49:45,610 --> 00:49:47,438 L�tfen. 665 00:49:54,228 --> 00:49:56,795 - Biraz ara�t�r�yorum. - Biraz ara�t�r�yor musun? 666 00:49:56,839 --> 00:49:58,841 - Dalga m� ge�iyorsun, Baba? - Hay�r... 667 00:49:58,884 --> 00:50:00,843 Olay�n kontrol�nde oldu�unu d���n�yorsun. 668 00:50:00,886 --> 00:50:03,976 - Evet. - Ve ne kadar korktu�unu anlayabiliyorum. 669 00:50:04,020 --> 00:50:05,978 Neyi neden yapt���m� biliyorum... ama bu bir�ey 670 00:50:06,022 --> 00:50:08,503 farkettirmiyor, tamam m�? ��lg�nl��a tutuldum. 671 00:50:08,546 --> 00:50:10,505 Senin tasarlad���n gibi biri 672 00:50:10,548 --> 00:50:11,767 olmad���m i�in 673 00:50:11,810 --> 00:50:13,725 benden utan�yorsun ve 674 00:50:13,769 --> 00:50:16,119 �imdi oldu�um ki�iden ho�lanm�yorsun, de�il mi? 675 00:50:16,163 --> 00:50:17,860 - Sen kimsin, Nic? - Bu benim, Baba. 676 00:50:17,903 --> 00:50:19,905 ��te. Bu benim. 677 00:50:27,174 --> 00:50:29,263 G�rd���nden ho�lanm�yor musun? 678 00:50:35,704 --> 00:50:39,969 Biliyor musun? �ok d���nd�m de... 679 00:50:40,012 --> 00:50:42,232 Annem hapiste gibi hissetmi�tir. 680 00:50:42,276 --> 00:50:44,800 ��nk� her zaman her lanet �eyi 681 00:50:44,843 --> 00:50:46,671 sen kontrol ediyordun. 682 00:50:46,715 --> 00:50:49,239 Bana k�zmakta hakl�s�n Nic. Bir s�r� hata yapt�m. 683 00:50:49,283 --> 00:50:52,155 Bunu anl�yorum. Ke�ke yapmasayd�m, fakat yapt�m. 684 00:50:52,199 --> 00:50:54,984 Ama, Tanr� a�k�na, �u anda dediklerinin 685 00:50:55,027 --> 00:50:58,030 - hi�bir mant�kl� yan� yok. - �u anda yine yap�yorsun! 686 00:50:58,074 --> 00:50:59,771 - �u anda yine beni kontrol etmeye �al���yorsun! - Bu sen de�ilsin. 687 00:50:59,815 --> 00:51:01,643 Bu sen de�ilsin, Nic. �la� seni b�yle konu�turuyor. 688 00:51:01,686 --> 00:51:02,818 Bu da ne demek oluyor? 689 00:51:02,861 --> 00:51:04,254 Psikolojik ter�r. 690 00:51:04,298 --> 00:51:05,821 - ba��ml�lar b�yle yapar. - Ne yapmaya �al���yorsun 691 00:51:05,864 --> 00:51:07,127 �u anda? 692 00:51:07,170 --> 00:51:10,042 Nedir bu? Ne yap�yorsun? 693 00:51:18,094 --> 00:51:20,096 Adam�m. 694 00:51:23,186 --> 00:51:26,146 B�yle olsun istemedim. 695 00:51:29,888 --> 00:51:31,455 Pekala. 696 00:51:31,499 --> 00:51:33,153 Gitmeliyim, Baba. 697 00:51:37,940 --> 00:51:40,551 - Sana bir oda tutay�m. - Hay�r, Baba. 698 00:51:40,595 --> 00:51:43,293 - Birka� gece bir otelde kal. - Hay�r, Baba.... 699 00:51:43,337 --> 00:51:46,557 - Neden bir�eyler yemiyoruz? - Baba, gitmeliyim. 700 00:51:48,124 --> 00:51:49,386 En az�ndan ho��akal diyemez misin? 701 00:51:49,430 --> 00:51:50,953 Ho��akal, Baba. 702 00:52:02,704 --> 00:52:04,662 Nerede uyuyor? 703 00:52:04,706 --> 00:52:07,230 Endi�elenme, tatl�m. 704 00:52:07,274 --> 00:52:08,405 O iyi. 705 00:52:15,891 --> 00:52:18,676 Belki bir arkada�� vard�r ve onda kal�yordur. 706 00:52:18,720 --> 00:52:22,419 Evet. Belki. - Yunus. 707 00:52:22,463 --> 00:52:24,204 - Umar�m �yledir. - "F." laz�m. 708 00:52:24,247 --> 00:52:25,596 Fil. 709 00:52:25,640 --> 00:52:27,772 Onu arayabilir miyim? 710 00:52:27,816 --> 00:52:29,557 Hay�r, ben denedim. 711 00:52:29,600 --> 00:52:32,647 - Telefonu kapal�. - Ona mesaj g�nderebilir miyim? 712 00:52:32,690 --> 00:52:36,999 Belki yaln�z kal�nca telefonunu a�ar. 713 00:52:37,042 --> 00:52:39,436 Bu g�zel bir fikir. 714 00:52:39,480 --> 00:52:41,438 Evet, bunu deneyelim. 715 00:53:35,579 --> 00:53:37,277 Dave. 716 00:53:37,320 --> 00:53:39,627 - Evet? - Pekala, gidelim. 717 00:53:43,370 --> 00:53:45,328 Hey, Dave, g�zlerini kapat. 718 00:53:45,372 --> 00:53:46,895 Tamam. 719 00:53:50,377 --> 00:53:52,335 Ve... a� �imdi! 720 00:54:55,050 --> 00:54:56,747 Alo? 721 00:54:56,791 --> 00:54:59,576 Ben Julie Ford, New York Bellevue Hastanesi'nden. 722 00:54:59,620 --> 00:55:01,448 Nic Sheff sizin o�lunuz mu? 723 00:55:05,016 --> 00:55:06,540 Bay Sheff, 724 00:55:06,583 --> 00:55:09,020 Daha �nce konu�mad���m�z i�in �zg�n�m. 725 00:55:09,064 --> 00:55:12,197 Nic biraz solunum g��l��� �ekiyor 726 00:55:12,241 --> 00:55:14,112 ama hayati bulgular� d�zeliyor. 727 00:55:14,156 --> 00:55:16,506 Bay�m, kalk��a ge�ece�iz. 728 00:55:16,550 --> 00:55:18,029 Tamam, tamam. 729 00:55:18,073 --> 00:55:20,684 Onunla konu�abilir miyim? 730 00:55:20,728 --> 00:55:23,121 - Hay�r, bu m�mk�n de�il. - Bay�m, telefonunuzu kapatman�z gerekiyor. 731 00:55:23,165 --> 00:55:24,775 �nan�n bana, �u an uyand�rmam�z do�ru de�il. 732 00:55:24,819 --> 00:55:26,690 Bir ka� saat sonra tekrar aray�n, tamam m�? 733 00:55:26,734 --> 00:55:29,693 - Pekala, ona der misiniz? - Bay�m, Bay�m. 734 00:55:29,737 --> 00:55:33,131 - L�tfen. - Yolda oldu�umu s�yler misiniz? 735 00:55:41,531 --> 00:55:42,706 Taburcu oldu. 736 00:55:42,750 --> 00:55:43,968 Ne? 737 00:55:44,012 --> 00:55:45,448 Doktorlar olamazs�n demesine ra�men. 738 00:55:45,492 --> 00:55:47,537 - Hay�r, hay�r. A��r� doz alm��t�. - �zg�n�m, efendim. 739 00:55:47,581 --> 00:55:49,887 Damar yolunu �ekti ve hastaneyi terketti. 740 00:55:49,931 --> 00:55:51,323 Ne zaman? 741 00:55:51,367 --> 00:55:53,804 10-15 dakika �nce. 742 00:55:53,848 --> 00:55:56,241 �zg�n�m, efendim. 743 00:56:19,917 --> 00:56:21,876 Evet. 744 00:56:42,549 --> 00:56:44,594 Bak, �ok d���nd�m, 745 00:56:44,638 --> 00:56:46,509 ve ila� kullanmay� b�rakt�m. 746 00:56:46,553 --> 00:56:48,642 O kadar. 747 00:56:51,035 --> 00:56:53,429 Sana s�yl�yorum, Baba. 748 00:56:53,473 --> 00:56:55,431 B�rakt�m. 749 00:57:05,615 --> 00:57:08,009 ��e yarayacak m�? 750 00:57:08,052 --> 00:57:11,534 Yani ,daha yeni olanlardan sonra. 751 00:57:26,767 --> 00:57:28,899 �imdi, e�er b�lgede iseniz toplanma merkezi, 752 00:57:28,943 --> 00:57:30,510 b�lgeyi bo�altma talimatlar� 753 00:57:30,553 --> 00:57:32,816 ve ayr�nt�lar�na �uradan ula�abilirsiniz... 754 00:57:32,860 --> 00:57:35,210 Saat 3:00'te ,Mississippi'deki bir merkezle 755 00:57:35,253 --> 00:57:36,820 konferans g�r��me yapaca��z. 756 00:57:36,864 --> 00:57:38,169 �imdilik bu kadar. 757 00:57:38,213 --> 00:57:39,823 3:30'da New Mexico'dan bir merkezle. 758 00:57:39,867 --> 00:57:41,825 4:00'te, Oregon'la. 759 00:57:41,869 --> 00:57:44,567 New Mexico'daki hakk�nda biraz ara�t�rma yapt�m. 760 00:57:44,611 --> 00:57:47,918 Ayl�k 40.000 dolar �creti var. 761 00:57:47,962 --> 00:57:49,529 Biliyor musun, derecelendirilmesi bile yap�lmam��. 762 00:57:49,572 --> 00:57:51,618 Onu eleyelim. 763 00:57:51,661 --> 00:57:54,403 Burada Los Angeles'ta bir imkan olursa, 764 00:57:54,446 --> 00:57:56,623 �imdilik en iyi ��z�m bu gibi duruyor. 765 00:57:56,666 --> 00:57:59,626 Bir saat i�inde beni arayacaklar. 766 00:58:00,888 --> 00:58:02,846 Biraz dinlensin, David. 767 00:58:02,890 --> 00:58:05,022 Neden biraz benim i�leri ele almama izin vermiyorsun? 768 00:58:11,942 --> 00:58:13,727 Baba? 769 00:58:13,770 --> 00:58:15,555 Evet. 770 00:58:15,598 --> 00:58:19,515 Her 15 dakikada bir beni kontrol eder misin? 771 00:58:19,559 --> 00:58:21,909 Evet. 772 00:58:59,468 --> 00:59:01,775 Dinazorlar�ndan birini de g�t�rmek ister misin? 773 00:59:04,865 --> 00:59:06,649 Ya da bir kitap? 774 00:59:08,346 --> 00:59:10,871 Hay�r m�? Tamam. 775 00:59:18,400 --> 00:59:20,097 Hey. Hey. 776 00:59:22,404 --> 00:59:24,493 Sar�labilir miyiz? 777 00:59:24,536 --> 00:59:25,581 Hay�r m�? 778 00:59:25,625 --> 00:59:27,148 Neden? 779 00:59:27,191 --> 00:59:29,672 Bana k�zg�n m�s�n? 780 00:59:29,716 --> 00:59:31,848 Gitmek zorunda oldu�un i�in mi? 781 00:59:32,849 --> 00:59:34,503 Tamam. 782 00:59:34,546 --> 00:59:38,376 Anneni g�rece�in i�in mutlusun, de�il mi? 783 00:59:40,422 --> 00:59:42,380 Bir�eyi bilmeni istiyorum. 784 00:59:42,424 --> 00:59:44,818 Geri d�nd���nde, burada olaca��m... 785 00:59:44,861 --> 00:59:47,951 Tam burada seni bekleyece�im. 786 00:59:47,995 --> 00:59:49,736 Tamam m�? 787 00:59:49,779 --> 00:59:52,956 Ve beni �zledi�inde ara, ben de seni arayaca��m. 788 00:59:54,218 --> 00:59:56,656 Seni ne kadar sevdi�imi biliyor musun? 789 01:00:03,619 --> 01:00:07,754 S�zl�kteki t�m kelimeleri topla yine de seni ne kadar sevdi�imi 790 01:00:07,797 --> 01:00:10,931 anlatmaya yetmez. 791 01:00:10,974 --> 01:00:14,195 T�m kelimeleri �st�ste koy 792 01:00:14,238 --> 01:00:16,980 yine de sana kar�� hislerimi anlatmaya yetmez. 793 01:00:17,024 --> 01:00:19,983 Sana kar�� her�eyi hissediyorum. 794 01:00:21,811 --> 01:00:24,684 Seni her�eyden daha �ok seviyorum. 795 01:00:26,381 --> 01:00:28,731 Her�ey? 796 01:00:28,775 --> 01:00:30,428 Evet, her�ey. 797 01:01:02,591 --> 01:01:04,593 Hey. 798 01:01:04,636 --> 01:01:06,813 ��te Annem. 799 01:01:06,856 --> 01:01:09,816 L.A.'ye geldi�ine �ok sevindim. 800 01:01:09,859 --> 01:01:11,731 Biliyorsun, de�il mi? 801 01:01:17,606 --> 01:01:19,782 Bunun ne kadar �ey oldu�unu... 802 01:01:19,826 --> 01:01:21,784 - L�tfen yapma, Anne. - Pekala. 803 01:01:21,828 --> 01:01:24,004 �z�r dilerim. Tamam. 804 01:01:30,662 --> 01:01:33,274 Tek d���nebildi�im eskiden nas�l oldu�un. 805 01:01:38,279 --> 01:01:41,630 Bu kula�a anlams�z geliyor, biliyorum ama �z�r dilerim. 806 01:01:45,155 --> 01:01:47,375 �z�r dilerim. 807 01:01:48,855 --> 01:01:50,508 Oh, Nicky. 808 01:01:56,253 --> 01:01:58,778 Sen benim a�k�ms�n. 809 01:01:58,821 --> 01:02:00,780 Bunu biliyorsun, de�il mi? 810 01:02:21,322 --> 01:02:23,280 Hey, hadi, ya�l� adam! 811 01:02:23,324 --> 01:02:25,543 - Giderek sayg�s�z oluyorsun. - Sayg�s�z olmuyorum. 812 01:02:25,587 --> 01:02:27,850 Giderek sayg�s�z oluyorsun. 813 01:02:29,896 --> 01:02:31,506 - Seni ge�iyorum! - Lanet herif! 814 01:02:31,549 --> 01:02:34,465 Sadece popomu g�r�rs�n, bebe�im! 815 01:02:34,509 --> 01:02:36,772 Sadece popomu g�r�rs�n! 816 01:02:45,520 --> 01:02:47,174 Lanet. 817 01:03:10,284 --> 01:03:11,763 Yard�m etti�im �ey bu. 818 01:03:11,807 --> 01:03:13,591 Neden o kadar g��l� �ektin? 819 01:03:13,635 --> 01:03:15,985 - �z�r dilerim. - Neden benden nefret ediyorsun? 820 01:03:31,696 --> 01:03:33,698 Nas�l hissediyorsun? 821 01:03:37,964 --> 01:03:41,228 Ger�ek bir insan evlad� gibi. 822 01:03:49,192 --> 01:03:52,761 Bir g�n, methamfetamin kulland�m... 823 01:03:52,804 --> 01:03:55,242 Evet. �yi hissettirdi. 824 01:03:55,285 --> 01:03:57,766 ...ve dedim ki, 825 01:03:57,809 --> 01:04:00,203 "Ka��rd���m �ey bu." 826 01:04:00,247 --> 01:04:02,902 Kendimi b�t�n hissettim. 827 01:04:02,945 --> 01:04:04,947 Bug�n g�zel bir g�n. 828 01:04:04,991 --> 01:04:07,819 Evet, �imdiye kadar arad���m �ey 829 01:04:07,863 --> 01:04:09,821 tam da bu. 830 01:04:09,865 --> 01:04:11,823 Ne kadar meth ald���m�n veya... 831 01:04:11,867 --> 01:04:13,825 v�cuduma girmesine izin verdi�im... 832 01:04:13,869 --> 01:04:17,786 di�er �eylerin �nemi yoktu... 833 01:04:17,829 --> 01:04:20,267 Asla yetmedi. 834 01:04:23,574 --> 01:04:26,969 Bir ka� kez tedaviye ba�lad�m 835 01:04:27,013 --> 01:04:28,579 toksinlerden ar�nd�m, 836 01:04:28,623 --> 01:04:31,365 yol a�aca�� hastal�klardan bahsettiler 837 01:04:31,408 --> 01:04:32,975 ama... 838 01:04:33,019 --> 01:04:34,716 asla i�e yaramad�. 839 01:04:37,588 --> 01:04:41,810 Ta ki; birg�n hastanenin birinde g�z�m� a�t���mda birisinin bana 840 01:04:41,853 --> 01:04:45,118 "senin derdin ne" 841 01:04:45,161 --> 01:04:47,598 diye sormas�na kadar. 842 01:04:50,427 --> 01:04:53,648 "Ben hem alkolik hemde ila� ba��ml�s�y�m" dedim 843 01:04:53,691 --> 01:04:55,476 o da... 844 01:04:55,519 --> 01:04:58,696 "Hay�r, bunlar senin derdini halletme yollar�n" dedi. 845 01:04:58,740 --> 01:05:00,698 Do�ru. 846 01:05:00,742 --> 01:05:04,137 �imdi, i�imdeki bu b�y�k, siyah deli�i 847 01:05:04,180 --> 01:05:07,444 doldurman�n bir yolunu..... 848 01:05:07,488 --> 01:05:09,577 bulmam gerekti�ini... 849 01:05:09,620 --> 01:05:11,883 biliyorum. 850 01:05:16,105 --> 01:05:17,977 Herneyse... 851 01:05:18,020 --> 01:05:21,110 14 ayd�r temizim. 852 01:05:21,154 --> 01:05:23,330 Tedavi merkezlerinden birinde bir i�im var. 853 01:05:24,853 --> 01:05:27,116 Di�erlerine temiz kalmalar� i�in yard�m etmek rahatlat�yor. 854 01:05:29,640 --> 01:05:32,817 Bir sponsorum var, Spencer. 855 01:05:32,861 --> 01:05:35,690 Temizken hayat�m�n ne kadar g�zel oldu�unu g�steriyor. 856 01:05:37,126 --> 01:05:39,520 Ve hala bir ailem var. 857 01:05:41,522 --> 01:05:44,307 Annem harika biri. 858 01:05:44,351 --> 01:05:47,180 Babam da. 859 01:05:53,055 --> 01:05:55,362 Benimle gurur duymalar�n� istiyorum. 860 01:06:34,662 --> 01:06:37,317 �yi misin? 861 01:06:37,360 --> 01:06:39,493 Sorun ne? Gergin misin? 862 01:06:39,536 --> 01:06:40,798 Evet. 863 01:06:47,457 --> 01:06:49,720 Benimle evlendi�in i�in te�ekk�rler. 864 01:06:51,113 --> 01:06:53,115 M�kemmel olmayan bir d�nyada 865 01:06:53,159 --> 01:06:55,161 m�kemmel bir e� oldu�un i�in te�ekk�rler. 866 01:06:56,901 --> 01:06:59,643 Beni muhte�em o�lunla tan��t�rd���n i�in te�ekk�rler. 867 01:07:01,776 --> 01:07:03,734 Senin i�in buraday�m, 868 01:07:03,778 --> 01:07:05,084 ve kalmaya geldim. 869 01:07:05,127 --> 01:07:07,173 Karen, beni sevdi�in i�in... 870 01:07:07,216 --> 01:07:09,218 te�ekk�r ederim. 871 01:07:10,524 --> 01:07:12,265 Ve o�lumu sevdi�in i�in. 872 01:07:22,318 --> 01:07:24,799 G�zlerini ekrandan ay�rm�yor ve "Superman ..." diyor. 873 01:07:28,281 --> 01:07:29,804 M�kemmel. 874 01:07:49,737 --> 01:07:51,695 - Hey, seni g�rmek g�zel. - Seni de �yle. 875 01:07:51,739 --> 01:07:54,176 Hey, Daisy. Hey, Daisy! 876 01:07:57,484 --> 01:07:59,225 Hey, Jazzy Jeff. 877 01:07:59,268 --> 01:08:01,270 Nas�l gidiyor, adam�m? 878 01:08:01,314 --> 01:08:02,880 Hey, adam�m, seni geceleyin 879 01:08:02,924 --> 01:08:05,927 g�ne�in ay� �zledi�inden daha �ok �zledim. 880 01:08:09,452 --> 01:08:11,280 - Hey, Karen. - Hey. 881 01:08:16,590 --> 01:08:18,722 Davet etti�in i�in te�ekk�rler. 882 01:08:18,766 --> 01:08:20,376 Cidden. 883 01:08:50,450 --> 01:08:52,669 Git, Daisy! Git, Daisy! Git, Daisy! Git, Daisy! 884 01:08:52,713 --> 01:08:54,149 Git, Daisy! 885 01:08:54,193 --> 01:08:55,716 Hey, tatl�m. 886 01:08:59,415 --> 01:09:01,287 Git, Daisy, git! 887 01:09:10,992 --> 01:09:13,342 G�zel. 888 01:09:16,040 --> 01:09:18,695 Oh! Ah, sen! 889 01:09:18,739 --> 01:09:20,567 Bu Daisy! 890 01:09:33,101 --> 01:09:35,059 "Meth ba��ml�s�n�n beynindeki 891 01:09:35,103 --> 01:09:37,018 i�aretler bo�ald���nda, 892 01:09:37,061 --> 01:09:39,760 sinir terminallerinin kayboldu�u ve 893 01:09:39,803 --> 01:09:42,284 beyin hasar�n�n geri d�n���ms�z oldu�u d���n�l�r." 894 01:09:42,328 --> 01:09:44,765 "Oysa, VMAT2 testi yapt���mda, 895 01:09:44,808 --> 01:09:47,811 - seviyeleri normal buldum" - Bu iyiye i�aret. 896 01:09:47,855 --> 01:09:50,336 - Normal d�zeyler iyiye i�aret, evet. - Bu... 897 01:09:50,379 --> 01:09:51,772 - Bu. - Tamam. 898 01:09:51,815 --> 01:09:53,339 - Hay�r. Ben... - Sadece kontrol ediyordum. 899 01:09:53,382 --> 01:09:54,862 - Hay�r, hay�r, bu iyi. - Tamam. 900 01:09:54,905 --> 01:09:56,167 Temel olarak... 901 01:09:56,211 --> 01:09:57,517 kavrulmu�... 902 01:09:57,560 --> 01:09:59,562 Nic'in kavrulmu� sinir u�lar� 903 01:09:59,606 --> 01:10:02,043 tekrar b�y�yebilir. 904 01:10:02,086 --> 01:10:04,263 �ki y�l s�rebilir diyorlar ama... 905 01:10:04,306 --> 01:10:06,482 - �ki y�l m�? - Evet. 906 01:10:06,526 --> 01:10:09,050 Bu �ok iyi, David. 907 01:10:18,364 --> 01:10:21,062 - Hey. - Hey. 908 01:10:21,105 --> 01:10:24,195 - Ge� kald�n. - Evet, �ok g�zel bir toplant�yd�, 909 01:10:24,239 --> 01:10:26,372 sonras�nda konu�mac�n�n evine gittik, 910 01:10:26,415 --> 01:10:28,330 bir video izledik ve... 911 01:10:28,374 --> 01:10:32,334 daha �nceki sponsorlar�m� g�rd�m ve..... 912 01:10:32,378 --> 01:10:34,380 Telefon yok muydu? 913 01:10:34,423 --> 01:10:36,425 Telefonum bozuk. 914 01:10:39,298 --> 01:10:42,518 �la� testi yapt�rmak senin i�in sorun olur mu? 915 01:10:43,563 --> 01:10:45,782 Yok, olmaz. 916 01:10:45,826 --> 01:10:47,349 Tamam. 917 01:11:04,758 --> 01:11:07,369 Neden yapt���m�z� anl�yorsun, de�il mi? 918 01:11:07,413 --> 01:11:11,721 Evet, bilmek zorundas�n�z.. 919 01:11:11,765 --> 01:11:15,638 Sana g�veniyorum... sadece biraz kan�ta ihtiyac�m�z var. 920 01:11:19,425 --> 01:11:21,992 Bu kendi i�inde �ok �eli�kili. 921 01:11:22,036 --> 01:11:24,343 - Fakat.. - Biliyorum, biliyorum. 922 01:11:26,432 --> 01:11:28,608 Yapaca��m, endi�elenme. 923 01:11:28,651 --> 01:11:31,001 Gizleyecek bir�eyim yok. 924 01:11:32,046 --> 01:11:33,482 Tamam. 925 01:11:35,789 --> 01:11:38,357 Hey, �ok iyi i� ��kard�n. 926 01:11:39,836 --> 01:11:41,664 Ger�ekten. 927 01:11:41,708 --> 01:11:44,711 Hesab�ma g�re, 485 temiz g�n. 928 01:11:44,754 --> 01:11:46,843 Hadi ama, bu... 929 01:11:50,760 --> 01:11:53,546 Sadece banyoya b�rakaca��m, de�il mi? 930 01:11:54,590 --> 01:11:56,157 Pekala. 931 01:11:56,200 --> 01:11:58,159 - �yi geceler, Baba. - �yi geceler. 932 01:11:58,202 --> 01:12:00,291 - Seni seviyorum, Baba. - Ben de seni. 933 01:12:31,714 --> 01:12:33,673 - Pekala, Jasper, haz�r m�s�n? - Evet. 934 01:12:33,716 --> 01:12:35,849 Gidelim, gidelim. 935 01:12:35,892 --> 01:12:38,068 Hey. Hay�r, hay�r, bekle. 936 01:12:38,112 --> 01:12:41,245 - Jasper, oraya gitmeni istemiyorum. - Ne? 937 01:12:41,289 --> 01:12:43,030 Anne, uza�a gitmeyece�iz, yemin ederim! 938 01:12:43,073 --> 01:12:44,858 Bu dalgalar �ok y�ksek. �ok tehlikeli. 939 01:12:44,901 --> 01:12:46,076 Ama ben �ok iyi bir y�z�c�y�m. 940 01:12:46,120 --> 01:12:47,382 Bundan daha y�ksek dalgalar varken girdik. 941 01:12:47,426 --> 01:12:49,297 Evet, biliyorum ama yine de... 942 01:12:49,340 --> 01:12:50,820 - Ben yak�n�nda dururum. - Nic yak�n�mda durur, g�r�rs�n. 943 01:12:53,519 --> 01:12:55,216 Karen, Yak�n�nda dururum... 944 01:12:55,259 --> 01:12:57,131 - Yak�n�nda dururum. - Nic girebilir. 945 01:12:57,174 --> 01:12:58,306 Sorun olmaz. Sen, giremezsin. 946 01:12:58,349 --> 01:13:00,221 Son s�z�m bu. 947 01:13:00,264 --> 01:13:01,701 G�relim bakal�m. 948 01:13:01,744 --> 01:13:04,443 - Hey! - Tamam. Sorun yok. 949 01:13:04,486 --> 01:13:06,749 Sorun yok. 950 01:13:15,279 --> 01:13:17,238 Onun yerine oyun oynayal�m m�? 951 01:13:17,281 --> 01:13:19,501 - Uh... - Evet mi? 952 01:13:21,938 --> 01:13:24,201 K�rf tahtas� m�s�n? 953 01:13:24,245 --> 01:13:26,595 - Hay�r. - Hay�r m�? 954 01:13:26,639 --> 01:13:28,597 Kisiklet misin? 955 01:13:28,641 --> 01:13:30,469 - Hay�r. - Hay�r m�? 956 01:13:30,512 --> 01:13:32,775 Pekala, yenebilir bir �ey misin? 957 01:13:32,819 --> 01:13:34,342 Pek de�il. 958 01:13:34,385 --> 01:13:36,475 - Pek de�il? - Pek de�il. 959 01:13:36,518 --> 01:13:38,041 Yani ,bir �e�it. 960 01:13:38,085 --> 01:13:40,304 �yleyse... 961 01:13:40,348 --> 01:13:42,089 ev misin? 962 01:13:42,132 --> 01:13:45,222 Evet, nas�l bildin? 963 01:13:45,266 --> 01:13:46,963 Biliyorsun, 964 01:13:47,007 --> 01:13:49,400 zihnini okuyabiliyorum. 965 01:13:53,448 --> 01:13:55,232 �ok iyi y�z�c� oldu�unu biliyorum. 966 01:13:55,276 --> 01:13:57,234 Sonraki y�zme yar���nda gelip senin i�in tezah�rat yapaca��m. 967 01:13:57,278 --> 01:13:58,322 Kula�a nas�l geliyor? 968 01:13:58,366 --> 01:13:59,889 Tamam m�? 969 01:13:59,933 --> 01:14:02,326 Pekala. 970 01:14:02,370 --> 01:14:04,720 Bunca zaman sonra beni g�rmek tuhaf geliyor mu? 971 01:14:04,764 --> 01:14:05,721 Gelmiyor mu? 972 01:14:05,765 --> 01:14:07,506 Ba�lang��ta �yleydi san�r�m. 973 01:14:07,549 --> 01:14:10,596 - Tamam. - De�i�mi� olaca��n� d���nd�m. 974 01:14:10,639 --> 01:14:13,903 Oysa sen ayn� eski Nic'sin. 975 01:14:36,447 --> 01:14:39,581 �ok g�zel bir haftasonuydu. 976 01:15:32,808 --> 01:15:35,637 Ya�a, Nic! 977 01:16:03,056 --> 01:16:05,624 G�le g�le, Nic! G�le g�le, Nic! 978 01:16:05,667 --> 01:16:07,887 G�le g�le, Nic! 979 01:16:30,387 --> 01:16:32,694 Art�k atlatt�n, adam�m. 980 01:16:32,738 --> 01:16:34,304 Tebrikler. Ger�ek d�nyaya ho�geldin. 981 01:16:34,348 --> 01:16:36,176 Ger�ek d�nyada ya�amak istemiyorum. 982 01:16:36,219 --> 01:16:37,830 Orada ya�amak beni hasta ediyor. 983 01:16:37,873 --> 01:16:39,353 Seninle konu�an hastal���n adam�m. 984 01:16:39,396 --> 01:16:40,876 - Deniyorum. - Kendini izole etmeyi deneyerek adam�m. 985 01:16:40,920 --> 01:16:42,486 Kendini �ld�rmeyi deneyerek. Bunu biliyorsun, adam�m. 986 01:16:42,530 --> 01:16:44,358 Bir hastal���m var gibi hissetmiyorum, Spencer. 987 01:16:44,401 --> 01:16:46,186 �ey gibi hissediyorum... 988 01:16:46,229 --> 01:16:49,276 - Pekala yapman gerekiyor. - Bu lanet bir kanser gibi de�il. 989 01:16:49,319 --> 01:16:52,627 Benim lanet se�imim. Bu hale kendim geldim. 990 01:16:52,671 --> 01:16:54,281 Evet kendin geldin.. Bunu sen yapt�n. 991 01:16:54,324 --> 01:16:56,022 Konu�mama izin verecek misin? 992 01:16:56,065 --> 01:16:59,025 Tamam m�? Sen bir yazars�n, de�il mi? Yaz o zaman. 993 01:16:59,068 --> 01:17:01,375 Bu konuda iyisin. Bu senin g�n�n. Bu bir se�im. 994 01:17:01,418 --> 01:17:03,116 - �u anda ne yapmak istiyorsun? - Lanet... 995 01:17:03,159 --> 01:17:04,857 Kafay� buldu�un anda t�m se�eneklerini yitirirsin. 996 01:17:04,900 --> 01:17:06,641 - Kafay� buldu�un anda her�eyi yitirirsin. - Do�ru. 997 01:17:06,685 --> 01:17:09,513 O y�zden do�ru yolu se�mek zorundas�n. 998 01:17:12,081 --> 01:17:14,040 - Do�ru. - Bu do�ru. 999 01:17:14,083 --> 01:17:15,868 Do�ru yolu se�. 1000 01:17:15,911 --> 01:17:17,391 Do�ru. Hepsi do�ru, hey,dinle, 1001 01:17:17,434 --> 01:17:18,914 Seni sonra tekrar arayaca��m, tamam m�? 1002 01:17:18,958 --> 01:17:20,437 Sanki do�ru �eyi yapaca��m gibi geliyor.. 1003 01:17:20,481 --> 01:17:21,743 Beni ba��ndan m� at�yorsun? 1004 01:17:21,787 --> 01:17:23,397 Beni aray�p zaman�m� heba m� edeceksin? 1005 01:17:23,440 --> 01:17:25,181 Zaman�m� heba etme. Ben senin i�in buraday�m, adam�m. 1006 01:17:25,225 --> 01:17:26,748 Bak bi, bu ak�am �ok g�zel bifteklerim var. 1007 01:17:26,792 --> 01:17:27,923 Neden ak�am yeme�ine gelmiyorsun? 1008 01:17:27,967 --> 01:17:29,185 - Pekala, sonra g�r���r�z. - Sen... 1009 01:17:29,229 --> 01:17:30,621 Kula�a ho� geliyor. Sonra g�r���r�z. 1010 01:17:30,665 --> 01:17:32,101 - Hey, Nic, Nic. - Evet, efendim, sonra g�r���r�z. 1011 01:17:32,145 --> 01:17:34,234 - Nic... - Pekala, bay-bay. 1012 01:18:31,247 --> 01:18:33,293 Nic Sheff. 1013 01:18:33,336 --> 01:18:35,295 Lauren. Ne? 1014 01:18:35,338 --> 01:18:37,558 Sen ne... 1015 01:18:39,429 --> 01:18:41,127 �ok uzun zaman oldu. 1016 01:18:41,170 --> 01:18:42,650 Burada ne ar�yorsun? 1017 01:18:42,693 --> 01:18:45,218 Sadece... 1018 01:18:47,089 --> 01:18:49,396 Ne? 1019 01:18:52,573 --> 01:18:54,140 Bir s�redir temizim ama 1020 01:18:54,183 --> 01:18:57,230 �u anda �ok fena kafa bulmak istiyorum. 1021 01:19:20,557 --> 01:19:23,256 �hiyac�n olan �ey bende. Ekstazi var, hap var adam�m. 1022 01:19:23,299 --> 01:19:25,345 Ekstazimiz var. S�ylemi�tim adam�m, s�ylemi�tim. 1023 01:19:33,309 --> 01:19:36,095 Bir bardak su ve ka��k getirebilir misin? 1024 01:19:37,574 --> 01:19:39,925 Pekala. 1025 01:19:56,071 --> 01:19:58,465 Pekala. 1026 01:19:58,508 --> 01:20:01,120 - ��te geldi. - Te�ekk�rler. 1027 01:20:02,121 --> 01:20:04,340 Pamuk ve ka��k. 1028 01:20:40,637 --> 01:20:42,857 Pekala, i�te bu. 1029 01:20:42,901 --> 01:20:44,859 ��te bu. 1030 01:23:15,792 --> 01:23:17,925 Araman�z otomatik sesli mesaj sistemine 1031 01:23:17,968 --> 01:23:19,927 y�nlendirilecektir. 1032 01:23:19,970 --> 01:23:21,798 Zil sesinden sonra mesaj�n�z� b�rakabilirsiniz. 1033 01:23:23,148 --> 01:23:24,758 Yine ben, Baban. 1034 01:23:24,801 --> 01:23:26,803 Giderken keyfin pek yok gibi geldi, 1035 01:23:26,847 --> 01:23:29,719 e�er konu�mak istersen beni ara Nic. 1036 01:23:29,763 --> 01:23:32,418 Pekala. 1037 01:23:44,560 --> 01:23:47,041 Demek nerede oldu�u konusunda bir fikrin yok? 1038 01:23:47,085 --> 01:23:49,609 Spencer onunla konu�tu�unu s�yledi. 1039 01:23:49,652 --> 01:23:52,612 Onun zor zamanlar ge�irdi�ini ama atlatt���n� anlatt�. 1040 01:23:52,655 --> 01:23:56,355 Fakat, ne i�e gitmi� ne de evine. 1041 01:23:56,398 --> 01:23:58,748 - telefonuna da ula��lam�yor. - Kahretsin. Kahretsin. Vicki, 1042 01:23:58,792 --> 01:24:01,751 buradan ayr�lal� iki g�n oldu. Neden kontrol etmedin? 1043 01:24:01,795 --> 01:24:04,145 �ocu�a g�z kulak olman gerekmiyor muydu? 1044 01:24:04,189 --> 01:24:05,755 Ne sa�mal�yorsun, David? 1045 01:24:05,799 --> 01:24:08,062 Ge�en y�l kim ona g�z kulak oldu? 1046 01:24:08,106 --> 01:24:09,672 Bir kontrol edebilirdin. 1047 01:24:09,716 --> 01:24:11,413 Yani, senin lanet sorunun ne? 1048 01:24:11,457 --> 01:24:13,981 T�m g�n ne yapt���m� san�yorsun? 1049 01:24:14,024 --> 01:24:17,376 Ayr�ca 7/24 g�zetim alt�nda tutamay�z ki. 1050 01:24:17,419 --> 01:24:20,379 Hemen �imdi polise gidip 1051 01:24:20,422 --> 01:24:22,381 kay�p ihbar� yapman gerekiyor, tamam m�? 1052 01:24:22,424 --> 01:24:24,339 - Bana ba��rmay� kes! - Hay�r, sana ba��rmay� 1053 01:24:24,383 --> 01:24:26,646 - kesmeyece�im, Vicki. - Bunu yapmandan nefret ediyorum. 1054 01:24:26,689 --> 01:24:28,082 - ��nk� sen sadece... - Kafay� yemi�sin sen. 1055 01:24:28,126 --> 01:24:29,518 Orada en az�ndan ne yap�yorsun?! 1056 01:24:29,562 --> 01:24:31,390 - Bu hi� adil de�il, David! - Hay�r, hay�r! Beni dinle! 1057 01:24:31,433 --> 01:24:33,435 Ne... 1058 01:24:34,436 --> 01:24:36,743 Kahretsin. 1059 01:24:36,786 --> 01:24:39,267 Lanet olsun! 1060 01:24:45,839 --> 01:24:47,536 Dave? 1061 01:24:47,580 --> 01:24:50,322 Telefonumu �ald�r�r m�s�n, l�tfen? 1062 01:24:53,325 --> 01:24:55,196 Neler oluyor? 1063 01:24:55,240 --> 01:24:57,111 Gitmi�. 1064 01:24:58,460 --> 01:25:01,507 L.A.'de oldu�unu nerden biliyorsun? 1065 01:25:01,550 --> 01:25:04,162 Yani San Francisco'da da olabilir. Ba�ka yerde de... 1066 01:25:04,205 --> 01:25:06,599 Lanet olas� Meksika'ya gitmi� olabilir. Bilmiyoruz ki. 1067 01:25:06,642 --> 01:25:08,209 Gitmem gerekiyor. 1068 01:25:08,253 --> 01:25:10,951 Evet, ama benim de kalmana ihtiyac�m var. 1069 01:25:10,994 --> 01:25:12,779 Vicki bu i�in alt�ndan benim gibi kalkam�yor... 1070 01:25:12,822 --> 01:25:15,129 Vicki umurumda de�il. Mevzu Vicki de�il. 1071 01:25:15,173 --> 01:25:18,785 Neden biraz gev�eyip mant�kl� davranm�yorsun? 1072 01:25:18,828 --> 01:25:21,048 - Ne? Sen biraz mant�kl� davran. - Ben mant�kl� davran�yorum. 1073 01:25:21,091 --> 01:25:22,092 Bu mu mant�kl� davranmak?! 1074 01:25:22,136 --> 01:25:24,704 Hay�r, de�il! 1075 01:25:24,747 --> 01:25:26,140 Nas�l mant�kl� olabilirim?! 1076 01:25:26,184 --> 01:25:27,707 O�lum d��ar�larda biryerlerde , 1077 01:25:27,750 --> 01:25:29,361 ve ben ne yapt���n� bilmiyorum! 1078 01:25:29,404 --> 01:25:30,971 Ona nas�l yard�m edece�imi bilmiyorum! 1079 01:25:31,014 --> 01:25:33,452 Edemezsin! 1080 01:25:43,940 --> 01:25:45,681 Uyuyam�yorum. 1081 01:25:49,729 --> 01:25:50,686 Uyuyam�yor musun? 1082 01:25:50,730 --> 01:25:52,253 Uyuyam�yorum. 1083 01:25:52,297 --> 01:25:53,515 Tamam. 1084 01:25:57,693 --> 01:25:59,695 �yi geceler babac���m. 1085 01:26:00,696 --> 01:26:02,263 �yi geceler. 1086 01:26:39,692 --> 01:26:41,389 Gidelim! 1087 01:26:41,433 --> 01:26:43,086 U�ak u�uyor! 1088 01:26:48,178 --> 01:26:50,137 Uzaklara u�! U�! 1089 01:27:57,726 --> 01:27:59,511 Hay�r. Hadi, sen de�il. Hadi. -DAVID: Bekle. 1090 01:27:59,554 --> 01:28:01,295 - ��eri gir. �ocuklar , hadi - Bekle. Bekle, tatl�m. 1091 01:28:01,339 --> 01:28:03,079 - Bekle. - Aferin sana. 1092 01:28:04,994 --> 01:28:08,258 Nic bug�n gelir diye d���nm��t�m. 1093 01:28:08,302 --> 01:28:10,565 Bir sorun ��km��. 1094 01:28:11,566 --> 01:28:13,699 Onu arayabilir miyim? 1095 01:28:13,742 --> 01:28:15,701 Hay�r, hay�r. Arayamazs�n. 1096 01:28:15,744 --> 01:28:17,311 Bu m�mk�n de�il. 1097 01:28:17,355 --> 01:28:18,399 Neden? 1098 01:28:18,443 --> 01:28:20,401 De�il de ondan. 1099 01:28:20,445 --> 01:28:23,230 Nic gene ila� kullanmaya m� ba�lad�? 1100 01:30:06,681 --> 01:30:08,596 Pekala. 1101 01:31:02,120 --> 01:31:04,620 Bu olaydan sonra Nic 1 hafta eve gelmedi. Ailesi olarak durumu normale getirmek i�in... 1102 01:31:12,344 --> 01:31:14,344 Bazen komik e-postalar g�nderir. Pennedense spagettiyi tercih eder. 1103 01:31:14,368 --> 01:31:16,368 O�lumu g�rd�n m�? Benim g�zel o�lumu g�rd�n m�? 1104 01:31:16,392 --> 01:31:18,392 Ona onu �ok �zledi�imi s�yle. 1105 01:31:49,828 --> 01:31:52,221 Hadi, Jasper! 1106 01:32:29,171 --> 01:32:30,259 Ald�n m�? 1107 01:32:30,303 --> 01:32:32,392 Lanet. Tamam. Hey, Lauren. 1108 01:32:33,611 --> 01:32:35,351 - Lauren, gidelim. - Ne? 1109 01:32:35,395 --> 01:32:36,962 Gitmemiz gerekiyor. 1110 01:32:38,659 --> 01:32:40,574 - Ne oluyor? - ��te. 1111 01:32:40,618 --> 01:32:43,272 Gitmemiz gerekiyor. 1112 01:32:43,316 --> 01:32:45,318 Tamam. 1113 01:32:58,723 --> 01:33:01,334 Galiba az �nce Nic'i g�rd�m. 1114 01:33:01,377 --> 01:33:03,118 Ne? 1115 01:33:03,162 --> 01:33:06,295 Galiba az �nce Nic'i ve bir k�z� ka�arken g�rd�m. 1116 01:33:13,041 --> 01:33:14,608 Nic. 1117 01:33:14,652 --> 01:33:16,088 Hay�r. ��eride kal�n. 1118 01:33:16,131 --> 01:33:17,916 - Tamam. - Hay�r. 1119 01:33:17,959 --> 01:33:21,789 Pekala, hay�r. ��eride kal�n! �aka yapm�yorum, tamam m�? 1120 01:33:21,833 --> 01:33:23,661 Orada kal�n. 1121 01:33:26,751 --> 01:33:28,709 Tamam. 1122 01:33:28,753 --> 01:33:31,364 - Lanet olsun. - Tekrar asla. 1123 01:33:31,407 --> 01:33:33,671 - Sorun yok. Hey. - Biz ne yap�yoruz? Biz ne yap�yoruz? 1124 01:33:33,714 --> 01:33:35,107 Hepsi ge�ti. 1125 01:33:40,068 --> 01:33:42,244 �ok korkun�tu. 1126 01:33:42,288 --> 01:33:45,465 Lanet olsun! 1127 01:33:49,904 --> 01:33:52,298 Nic? Nic? Nic! 1128 01:34:07,530 --> 01:34:09,489 Hay�r, hay�r, hay�r. 1129 01:35:55,856 --> 01:35:59,077 �ok �zg�n�m. �ok �zg�n�m. 1130 01:36:23,144 --> 01:36:24,885 Tamam. Tamam. 1131 01:36:27,148 --> 01:36:28,889 911. Acil durumunuz nedir? 1132 01:36:28,933 --> 01:36:30,891 Evet. Merhaba. Ben bir... Yan�mda bir arkada��m var. 1133 01:36:30,935 --> 01:36:32,240 �la� ba��ml�s� ve o.. 1134 01:36:32,284 --> 01:36:33,894 Ambulansa ihtiyac�m�z var, yard�m gerekiyor. 1135 01:36:33,938 --> 01:36:35,287 Bay�m, acil m�dahale biliyor musunuz? 1136 01:36:35,330 --> 01:36:36,854 Evet, �u anda uyguluyorum. Sadece... 1137 01:36:36,897 --> 01:36:38,986 Hemen ambulans g�nderin, 1138 01:36:39,030 --> 01:36:41,206 - tamam m�? - Adresiniz neresi? 1139 01:36:41,249 --> 01:36:43,251 Bilmiyorum. 1140 01:36:43,295 --> 01:36:44,905 �a�r�y� takip edin. 1141 01:36:44,949 --> 01:36:46,689 Alo? 1142 01:36:46,733 --> 01:36:50,128 Alo? Bay�m, hala hatta m�s�n�z? 1143 01:36:50,171 --> 01:36:52,478 Bay�m? 1144 01:36:55,394 --> 01:36:56,917 Bay�m? Bay�m? 1145 01:37:05,839 --> 01:37:08,798 Bana bak. 1146 01:37:08,842 --> 01:37:10,539 Tatl�m bana bak. 1147 01:37:12,019 --> 01:37:15,414 �uraya do�ru bakar m�s�n? 1148 01:37:15,457 --> 01:37:17,546 Seni acil servise g�t�rmemiz gerekiyor. 1149 01:37:17,590 --> 01:37:18,983 �stemiyorum... Gitmek istemiyorum... 1150 01:37:19,026 --> 01:37:20,593 - Seni acil servise g�t�rmemiz gerekiyor. - Ben iyiyim. 1151 01:37:20,636 --> 01:37:21,942 Acil servise gitmek istemiyor..... 1152 01:37:21,986 --> 01:37:23,596 O... Hay�r, o iyi falan de�il. Onu hemen acile g�t�rmemiz 1153 01:37:23,639 --> 01:37:24,989 - gerekiyor. - Ama o gitmek istemiyor. 1154 01:37:25,032 --> 01:37:26,729 Hay�r, bay�m, gitmesi gerekiyor! 1155 01:37:26,773 --> 01:37:28,427 Tamam m�? 1156 01:37:28,470 --> 01:37:30,951 Bu konuda s�k�nt� ��kar�rsan�z polise haber veririm. 1157 01:37:30,995 --> 01:37:32,735 Allah kahretsin. 1158 01:37:32,779 --> 01:37:36,217 Gelip beni g�receksin, de�il mi? 1159 01:37:36,261 --> 01:37:37,697 - Evet. Evet! - S�z veriyor musun? 1160 01:37:37,740 --> 01:37:40,134 Seni seviyorum. 1161 01:37:40,178 --> 01:37:42,615 Ben de seni seviyorum. 1162 01:37:42,658 --> 01:37:44,312 - Gelece�ine s�z verdin,tamam m�? - Evet, Lauren. 1163 01:37:44,356 --> 01:37:46,401 Gelip seni g�rece�im lanet olas�. Benden ne istiyorsun? 1164 01:37:46,445 --> 01:37:49,709 - Tamam, tamam. - Lanet olsun. 1165 01:38:16,040 --> 01:38:18,433 David Sheff. 1166 01:38:18,477 --> 01:38:20,218 Hey, Baba. Benim. 1167 01:38:22,916 --> 01:38:25,397 - Nic? - Evet. 1168 01:38:34,667 --> 01:38:36,712 L�tfen benden nefret etme, Baba. 1169 01:38:38,236 --> 01:38:40,238 Yanl�� yapt���m� biliyorum. 1170 01:38:41,979 --> 01:38:44,024 B�rakmak istiyorum, fakat l�tfen, l�tfen, l�tfen, 1171 01:38:44,068 --> 01:38:45,895 l�tfen, l�tfen, tekrar tedaviye g�nderme, tamam m�? 1172 01:38:45,939 --> 01:38:48,768 Sadece eve geleyim. Biliyor musun? 1173 01:38:48,811 --> 01:38:52,598 Farkettim de, ger�ekten tek ihtiyac�m evde olmak. 1174 01:38:52,641 --> 01:38:57,385 Siz benim toparlanmama destek olursunuz. 1175 01:38:57,429 --> 01:38:59,431 Tamam m�? 1176 01:39:02,303 --> 01:39:04,305 �yle bir �ey olmayacak. 1177 01:39:13,575 --> 01:39:16,665 Sana yard�m edebilmeyi isterim, 1178 01:39:16,709 --> 01:39:18,667 ama bunu yapamam. 1179 01:39:18,711 --> 01:39:20,452 Yapa...Yapamam. 1180 01:39:20,495 --> 01:39:22,584 L�tfen yard�m et, Baba. 1181 01:39:24,064 --> 01:39:26,284 Hay�r, Baba. Sadece biraz yard�ma ihityac�m var. 1182 01:39:28,329 --> 01:39:30,418 L�tfen yard�m et. Eve gelmek istiyorum. 1183 01:39:30,462 --> 01:39:33,160 Sana s�yleyeceklerim zaten bildi�in �eyler.. 1184 01:39:33,204 --> 01:39:35,641 Baba, neden beni dinlemiyorsun? 1185 01:39:35,684 --> 01:39:37,817 - Sponsorunu ara. - �u anda sponsorumla 1186 01:39:37,860 --> 01:39:39,732 konu�mak istemiyorum. Seninle konu�mak istiyorum. 1187 01:39:39,775 --> 01:39:41,690 Yard�m al. 1188 01:39:41,734 --> 01:39:43,649 - Seni seviyorum. - Baba, ne... 1189 01:39:43,692 --> 01:39:46,086 Ve umar�m hayat�na �ekid�zen verirsin. 1190 01:39:46,130 --> 01:39:47,696 Ben de seni seviyorum. 1191 01:39:47,740 --> 01:39:50,221 Seni seviyorum. 1192 01:42:18,282 --> 01:42:21,110 - Alo. - Nicolas arad�. 1193 01:42:21,154 --> 01:42:22,547 Sesi �ok �aresiz geliyordu. 1194 01:42:23,852 --> 01:42:25,767 Bir�eyler yapmazsak �lecek. 1195 01:42:25,811 --> 01:42:27,813 Pekala... 1196 01:42:27,856 --> 01:42:30,772 yard�m etsek de �lecek. 1197 01:42:30,816 --> 01:42:33,471 Yapt���m�z hi�bir �eyin ona yarar� olmuyor. 1198 01:42:39,433 --> 01:42:41,000 Ba�aramad�m. 1199 01:42:41,043 --> 01:42:42,654 Mah�up hissetti�ini biliyorum tamam m�? 1200 01:42:42,697 --> 01:42:45,309 Ben de �yle. 1201 01:42:45,352 --> 01:42:47,659 Ama �ok u�ra�t�n, David. 1202 01:42:47,702 --> 01:42:50,618 - Ve Karen, sen de, - Bunun i�in m�te�ekkirim. 1203 01:42:50,662 --> 01:42:52,533 Ben haz�r de�ilken sen u�ra�t�n 1204 01:42:52,577 --> 01:42:54,448 ama ben pes etmeyece�im. 1205 01:42:55,493 --> 01:42:57,321 Asla. 1206 01:42:59,018 --> 01:43:01,760 Ama tek ba��ma yapamam. 1207 01:43:04,719 --> 01:43:07,505 Yard�m�na ihtiyac�m var. 1208 01:43:09,768 --> 01:43:12,771 �nsanlar� kurtarabilece�ini d���nm�yorum Vicki. 1209 01:43:14,686 --> 01:43:18,080 Yanlar�nda olabilirsin ama de�il mi? 1210 01:43:21,910 --> 01:43:24,086 �una bak. 1211 01:43:29,222 --> 01:43:31,137 Ben bittim. 1212 01:43:31,180 --> 01:43:33,357 Tamam m�? Ben... 1213 01:43:33,400 --> 01:43:36,403 Tamam. 1214 01:44:06,127 --> 01:44:08,127 Ben sebep olmad�m.Kontrol edemiyorum. Kurtulam�yorum. 1215 01:44:10,045 --> 01:44:12,047 Herkese merhaba. 1216 01:44:12,091 --> 01:44:14,789 Biraraya gelme zaman�. 1217 01:44:27,280 --> 01:44:31,415 Ben... Zor bir hafta ge�irdim. 1218 01:44:33,852 --> 01:44:35,593 Baz�lar�n�z bilir, baz�lar�n�z bilmez. 1219 01:44:35,636 --> 01:44:37,290 Ben... 1220 01:44:37,334 --> 01:44:39,379 Bu hafta Frances'imi kaybettim. 1221 01:44:39,423 --> 01:44:42,556 Pazar g�n� a��r� dozdan �ld�. 1222 01:44:42,600 --> 01:44:44,689 Yani... 1223 01:44:44,732 --> 01:44:48,693 San�r�m yastay�m, fakat ben... 1224 01:44:48,736 --> 01:44:51,130 Ba�ka bir�eyin fark�na vard�m. 1225 01:44:51,173 --> 01:44:55,221 Asl�nda y�llard�r yastaym���m. 1226 01:44:57,310 --> 01:44:59,530 ��nk� ya��yorken bile O..... 1227 01:44:59,573 --> 01:45:02,097 burada de�ildi. 1228 01:45:02,141 --> 01:45:06,406 Hayat� yasl� ge�irmeye ba�lad���n�zda, 1229 01:45:06,450 --> 01:45:09,322 ya�amak �ok zor oluyor. 1230 01:45:11,324 --> 01:45:13,805 Ve bir �ekilde... 1231 01:45:13,848 --> 01:45:16,068 bir �ekilde daha iyi... 1232 01:45:16,111 --> 01:45:18,200 oldu san�r�m.. 1233 01:45:22,379 --> 01:45:27,949 O �ok sevimli, sevimli bir gen� k�zd�. 1234 01:45:29,908 --> 01:45:32,084 Her zaman... 1235 01:45:32,127 --> 01:45:34,695 g��l� olmam gerekiyor gibi... hissettim. 1236 01:45:34,739 --> 01:45:38,133 Bir zaman gelecek, d�zelecek 1237 01:45:38,177 --> 01:45:40,788 ve... o zamana kadar g��l� kalmal�y�m diye d���nd�m. 1238 01:45:44,401 --> 01:45:46,881 Ama art�k o umut kalmad�. 1239 01:45:46,925 --> 01:45:50,450 Umar�m art�k ac� �ekmiyordur. 1240 01:45:57,152 --> 01:45:59,154 Ho��akal, Frances. 1241 01:47:56,271 --> 01:47:58,535 Hey. 1242 01:47:58,578 --> 01:48:00,754 Merhaba. 1243 01:48:10,024 --> 01:48:11,591 Durumu nas�l? 1244 01:48:11,635 --> 01:48:13,854 Doktorlar �u anda yan�nda. 1245 01:48:15,464 --> 01:48:17,249 V�cudunda bu kadar ila� varken 1246 01:48:17,292 --> 01:48:20,252 ya�amas�n�n mucize oldu�unu s�ylediler. 1247 01:50:34,176 --> 01:50:37,976 A��r� doza ba�l� �l�mler , �u anda Amerika'daki 50 ya� alt� �l�mlerin en b�y�k nedeni. 1248 01:50:40,100 --> 01:50:45,100 M�thi� bir destek ve �al��mayla Nic 8 y�ld�r ila� alm�yor ve art�k sorunu kalmad�. 1249 01:50:47,124 --> 01:50:50,124 Her ne kadar ba��ml�l�k tedavisi devletten �ok az destek ve d�zenleme alsa da 1250 01:50:50,148 --> 01:50:53,148 bu salg�nla ba�etmek i�in t�m topluluklar canla ba�la �al���yor. 1251 01:50:56,172 --> 01:51:02,572 Hastal���n pen�esinde k�vrananlar, ac� �ekenler ve hasta yak�nlar� i�in yard�m orada. 1252 01:55:19,620 --> 01:55:21,447 "Either peace or happiness, 1253 01:55:21,491 --> 01:55:23,319 "let it enfold you. 1254 01:55:23,362 --> 01:55:26,322 "When I was a young man, I felt that these things 1255 01:55:26,365 --> 01:55:28,803 "were dumb, unsophisticated. 1256 01:55:28,846 --> 01:55:31,066 "I had bad blood, a twisted mind, 1257 01:55:31,109 --> 01:55:33,198 "a precarious upbringing. 1258 01:55:33,242 --> 01:55:34,852 "I was hard as granite. 1259 01:55:34,896 --> 01:55:36,767 "I leered at the sun. 1260 01:55:36,811 --> 01:55:40,249 "I trusted no man and especially no woman. 1261 01:55:40,292 --> 01:55:42,643 "I was living a hell in small rooms. 1262 01:55:42,686 --> 01:55:44,383 "I broke things, smashed things, 1263 01:55:44,427 --> 01:55:46,995 "walked through glass, cursed. 1264 01:55:47,038 --> 01:55:48,649 "I challenged everything, 1265 01:55:48,692 --> 01:55:50,868 "was continually being evicted, jailed, 1266 01:55:50,912 --> 01:55:53,654 "in and out of fights, in and out of my mind. 1267 01:55:53,697 --> 01:55:56,091 "Women were something to screw and rail at. 1268 01:55:56,134 --> 01:55:58,223 "I had no male friends. 1269 01:55:58,267 --> 01:56:00,356 "I changed jobs and cities. 1270 01:56:00,399 --> 01:56:03,054 "I hated holidays, babies, history, 1271 01:56:03,098 --> 01:56:05,709 "newspapers, museums, grandmothers, 1272 01:56:05,753 --> 01:56:08,756 "marriage, movies, spiders, garbagemen, 1273 01:56:08,799 --> 01:56:12,673 "English accents, Spain, France, Italy, 1274 01:56:12,716 --> 01:56:15,414 "walnuts and the color orange. 1275 01:56:15,458 --> 01:56:17,286 "Algebra angered me. 1276 01:56:17,329 --> 01:56:19,244 "Opera sickened me. 1277 01:56:19,288 --> 01:56:21,333 "Charlie Chaplin was a fake. 1278 01:56:21,377 --> 01:56:23,509 "And flowers were for pansies. 1279 01:56:23,553 --> 01:56:26,904 "Peace and happiness were to me signs of inferiority, 1280 01:56:26,948 --> 01:56:29,733 "tenants of the weak and addled mind. 1281 01:56:29,777 --> 01:56:32,344 "But as I went on with my alley fights, 1282 01:56:32,388 --> 01:56:33,911 "my suicidal years, 1283 01:56:33,955 --> 01:56:35,870 "my passage through any number of women, 1284 01:56:35,913 --> 01:56:39,395 "it gradually began to occur to me that I wasn't different 1285 01:56:39,438 --> 01:56:41,484 "from the others, I was the same. 1286 01:56:41,527 --> 01:56:43,442 "They were all fulsome with hatred, 1287 01:56:43,486 --> 01:56:45,836 "glossed over with petty grievances. 1288 01:56:45,880 --> 01:56:48,491 "The men I fought in alleys had hearts of stone. 1289 01:56:48,534 --> 01:56:50,493 "Everybody was nudging, inching, 1290 01:56:50,536 --> 01:56:53,365 "cheating for some insignificant advantage. 1291 01:56:53,409 --> 01:56:56,542 "The lie was the weapon, and the plot was empty. 1292 01:56:56,586 --> 01:56:58,806 "Darkness was the dictator. 1293 01:56:58,849 --> 01:57:02,244 "Cautiously, I allowed myself to feel good at times. 1294 01:57:02,287 --> 01:57:04,202 "I found moments of peace in cheap rooms 1295 01:57:04,246 --> 01:57:07,249 "just staring at the knobs of some dresser 1296 01:57:07,292 --> 01:57:09,599 "or listening to the rain in the dark. 1297 01:57:09,642 --> 01:57:12,602 "The less I needed, the better I felt. 1298 01:57:12,645 --> 01:57:14,517 "Maybe the other life had worn me down. 1299 01:57:14,560 --> 01:57:16,214 "I no longer found glamour 1300 01:57:16,258 --> 01:57:18,608 "in topping somebody in conversation 1301 01:57:18,651 --> 01:57:21,872 "or in mounting the body of some poor, drunken female 1302 01:57:21,916 --> 01:57:24,396 "whose life had slipped away into sorrow. 1303 01:57:24,440 --> 01:57:26,355 "I could never accept life as it was. 1304 01:57:26,398 --> 01:57:29,184 "I could never gobble down all its poisons. 1305 01:57:29,227 --> 01:57:31,490 "But there were parts, tenuous magic parts, 1306 01:57:31,534 --> 01:57:33,492 "open for the asking. 1307 01:57:33,536 --> 01:57:35,059 "I reformulated. 1308 01:57:35,103 --> 01:57:37,105 "I don't know when... date, time, all that... 1309 01:57:37,148 --> 01:57:38,759 "but the change occurred. 1310 01:57:38,802 --> 01:57:42,110 "Something in me relaxed, smoothed out. 1311 01:57:42,153 --> 01:57:44,416 "I no longer had to prove that I was a man. 1312 01:57:44,460 --> 01:57:46,157 "I didn't have to prove anything. 1313 01:57:46,201 --> 01:57:47,942 "I began to see things. 1314 01:57:47,985 --> 01:57:50,683 "Coffee cups lined up behind a counter in a cafe. 1315 01:57:50,727 --> 01:57:53,164 "Or a dog walking along a sidewalk. 1316 01:57:53,208 --> 01:57:55,123 "Or the way the mouse on my dresser top 1317 01:57:55,166 --> 01:57:57,168 "stopped there, really stopped there, 1318 01:57:57,212 --> 01:57:59,301 "with its body, its ears, its nose. 1319 01:57:59,344 --> 01:58:03,174 "It was fixed, a bit of life caught within itself, 1320 01:58:03,218 --> 01:58:07,004 "and its eyes looked at me, and they were beautiful. 1321 01:58:07,048 --> 01:58:09,093 "Then it was gone. 1322 01:58:09,137 --> 01:58:10,965 "I began to feel good. 1323 01:58:11,008 --> 01:58:13,489 "I began to feel good in the worst situations, 1324 01:58:13,532 --> 01:58:15,230 "and there were plenty of those. 1325 01:58:15,273 --> 01:58:18,276 "Like, say, the boss behind his desk. 1326 01:58:18,320 --> 01:58:20,409 "He is going to have to fire me. 1327 01:58:20,452 --> 01:58:22,193 "I've missed too many days. 1328 01:58:22,237 --> 01:58:25,501 "He's dressed in a suit, necktie, glasses. 1329 01:58:25,544 --> 01:58:28,286 "He says, 'I am going to have to let you go.' 1330 01:58:28,330 --> 01:58:30,071 "'It's all right, ' I tell him. 1331 01:58:30,114 --> 01:58:31,550 "He must do what he must do. 1332 01:58:31,594 --> 01:58:33,509 "He has a wife, a house, children, 1333 01:58:33,552 --> 01:58:36,729 "expenses, most probably a girlfriend. 1334 01:58:36,773 --> 01:58:38,209 "I'm sorry for him. 1335 01:58:38,253 --> 01:58:39,863 "He's caught. 1336 01:58:39,907 --> 01:58:41,517 "I walk out into the blazing sunshine. 1337 01:58:41,560 --> 01:58:44,302 "The whole day is mine, temporarily anyhow. 1338 01:58:44,346 --> 01:58:46,914 "The whole world is at the throat of the world. 1339 01:58:46,957 --> 01:58:49,873 "Everybody feels angry, short-changed, cheated. 1340 01:58:49,917 --> 01:58:52,615 "Everybody is despondent, disillusioned. 1341 01:58:52,658 --> 01:58:55,792 "I welcomed shots of peace, tattered shards of happiness. 1342 01:58:55,836 --> 01:58:58,186 "I embraced that stuff like the hottest number, 1343 01:58:58,229 --> 01:59:01,102 "like high heels, breasts, singing, the works. 1344 01:59:01,145 --> 01:59:02,668 "Don't get me wrong, 1345 01:59:02,712 --> 01:59:04,428 "there is such a thing as cockeyed optimism 1346 01:59:04,453 --> 01:59:05,846 "that overlooks all basic problems 1347 01:59:05,889 --> 01:59:07,325 "just for the sake of itself. 1348 01:59:07,369 --> 01:59:09,588 "This is a shield and a sickness. 1349 01:59:09,632 --> 01:59:11,634 "The knife got near my throat again. 1350 01:59:11,677 --> 01:59:13,549 "I almost turned on the gas again. 1351 01:59:13,592 --> 01:59:15,551 "But when the good moments arrived again, 1352 01:59:15,594 --> 01:59:17,683 "I didn't fight them off like an alley adversary. 1353 01:59:17,727 --> 01:59:20,164 "I let them take me. I luxuriated in them. 1354 01:59:20,208 --> 01:59:21,992 "I bade them welcome home. 1355 01:59:22,036 --> 01:59:23,646 "I even looked into the mirror once 1356 01:59:23,689 --> 01:59:26,692 "having thought myself to be ugly. 1357 01:59:26,736 --> 01:59:28,738 "I now liked what I saw. 1358 01:59:28,781 --> 01:59:30,435 "Almost handsome. 1359 01:59:30,479 --> 01:59:32,655 "Yes, a bit ripped and ragged. 1360 01:59:32,698 --> 01:59:34,831 "Scars, lumps, odd turns. 1361 01:59:34,875 --> 01:59:36,920 "But all in all, not too bad. 1362 01:59:36,964 --> 01:59:38,791 "Almost handsome. 1363 01:59:38,835 --> 01:59:40,881 "Better at least than some of those movie star faces 1364 01:59:40,924 --> 01:59:42,621 "like the cheeks of a baby's butt. 1365 01:59:42,665 --> 01:59:44,145 "And finally I discovered 1366 01:59:44,188 --> 01:59:46,495 "real feelings for others, unheralded. 1367 01:59:46,538 --> 01:59:48,366 "Like lately, like this morning, 1368 01:59:48,410 --> 01:59:51,892 "as I was leaving for the track, I saw my wife in bed, 1369 01:59:51,935 --> 01:59:53,763 "just the shape of her head there, 1370 01:59:53,806 --> 01:59:57,375 "covers pulled high, just the shape of her head there. 1371 01:59:57,419 --> 01:59:59,812 "Not forgetting centuries of the living and the dead 1372 01:59:59,856 --> 02:00:01,640 "and the dying, the pyramids, 1373 02:00:01,684 --> 02:00:04,165 "Mozart dead, but his music still there in the room, 1374 02:00:04,208 --> 02:00:05,949 "weeds growing, the Earth turning, 1375 02:00:05,993 --> 02:00:08,082 "the tote board waiting for me. 1376 02:00:08,125 --> 02:00:09,866 "I saw the shape of my wife's head, 1377 02:00:09,910 --> 02:00:11,302 "she so still. 1378 02:00:11,346 --> 02:00:12,825 "I ached for her life, 1379 02:00:12,869 --> 02:00:14,523 "just being there under the covers. 1380 02:00:14,566 --> 02:00:16,090 "I kissed her on the forehead, 1381 02:00:16,133 --> 02:00:17,874 "got down the stairway, got outside, 1382 02:00:17,918 --> 02:00:20,355 "got into my marvelous car, fixed the seat belt, 1383 02:00:20,398 --> 02:00:21,834 "backed out the drive. 1384 02:00:21,878 --> 02:00:23,662 "Feeling warm to the fingertips, 1385 02:00:23,706 --> 02:00:26,491 "down to my foot on the gas pedal, 1386 02:00:26,535 --> 02:00:28,450 "I entered the world once more, 1387 02:00:28,493 --> 02:00:30,539 "drove down the hill past the houses 1388 02:00:30,582 --> 02:00:32,367 "full and empty of people. 1389 02:00:32,410 --> 02:00:34,847 "I saw the mailman, honked. 1390 02:00:34,891 --> 02:00:37,285 He waved back at me."100566

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.