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1
00:00:05,405 --> 00:00:07,965
[RIDERS SCREAMING]
2
00:00:08,141 --> 00:00:09,632
[CARNIVAL MUSIC PLAYING]
3
00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:08,498
Dr. Von Kronen?
4
00:01:08,669 --> 00:01:12,231
You're Herr Luger? From Thrush?
5
00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:13,601
Yes, sir.
6
00:01:13,774 --> 00:01:17,006
That must be the contact.
7
00:01:17,177 --> 00:01:20,079
Transportation is at the bottom
of the stairs.
8
00:01:20,247 --> 00:01:22,512
If you'll follow me, please.
9
00:01:49,910 --> 00:01:51,071
[BOTH GRUNTING]
10
00:01:59,653 --> 00:02:01,053
Oh....
11
00:02:06,827 --> 00:02:07,817
[GRUNTS]
12
00:02:40,260 --> 00:02:41,421
[TRUCK HORN HONKS]
13
00:02:41,595 --> 00:02:43,029
[TIRES SCREECH]
14
00:02:43,196 --> 00:02:45,188
[CAR CRASHES]
15
00:03:56,903 --> 00:03:59,099
Oh, come in, come in, gentlemen.
Come in, come in.
16
00:03:59,272 --> 00:04:00,706
Sit down, sit down.
17
00:04:00,874 --> 00:04:03,844
Sit down, Mr. Solo, if you're able.
18
00:04:04,010 --> 00:04:06,206
[SOLO GRUNTS]
19
00:04:06,379 --> 00:04:08,348
I'm sorry we failed, sir.
20
00:04:08,515 --> 00:04:10,950
Oh, but that's not true, Mr. Solo.
21
00:04:11,118 --> 00:04:13,417
You've made a most notable contribution.
22
00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:15,886
- We have?
- Oh, yes, indeed.
23
00:04:16,056 --> 00:04:19,549
You weren't able to bring
in Herr Professor Dr. Von Kronen...
24
00:04:19,726 --> 00:04:23,458
...but you did establish a very definite link
between him and Thrush.
25
00:04:23,630 --> 00:04:26,293
The world's most wanted Nazi scientist
and Thrush?
26
00:04:26,466 --> 00:04:30,927
And you, gentlemen, will endeavor
to find out what tune they're going to play.
27
00:04:33,206 --> 00:04:34,265
Face look familiar?
28
00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:37,377
Louis Strago, wines and spirits tycoon.
29
00:04:37,544 --> 00:04:40,104
Slogan,
"Everything from champagne to whiskey."
30
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:41,748
Has branches throughout the world.
31
00:04:41,915 --> 00:04:44,612
Was it, uh, Strago's men
that beat us to Von Kronen?
32
00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:50,088
Yes. Mr. Strago is in Sicily now,
visiting one of his wineries.
33
00:04:50,657 --> 00:04:55,095
We have reason to believe
that Dr. Von Kronen is on his way there.
34
00:04:55,662 --> 00:05:00,430
And you, Mr. Solo, and you, Mr. Kuryakin,
will join him there.
35
00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:10,033
Well, in a word, we're lost.
36
00:05:10,744 --> 00:05:12,645
Oh, Napoleon, you've done it again.
37
00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:16,978
Well, we can't be too far
from Strago's domain one way or another.
38
00:05:17,684 --> 00:05:18,708
I think if we--
39
00:05:18,885 --> 00:05:21,218
Ah, hey.
40
00:05:21,388 --> 00:05:23,323
Ha, traveler's aid.
41
00:05:25,725 --> 00:05:27,159
[SPEAKS IN ITALIAN]
42
00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:30,923
Uh, I'm looking for Signor Strago's estate.
43
00:05:31,097 --> 00:05:32,895
- Ah, uh-huh.
- Ah?
44
00:05:33,066 --> 00:05:34,227
He makes Marsala?
45
00:05:34,401 --> 00:05:36,666
Ah, Signor Strago.
46
00:05:39,072 --> 00:05:41,064
[WOMAN BREATHING DEEPLY]
47
00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:50,477
Miss Diketon,
must you breathe so heavily?
48
00:05:50,650 --> 00:05:53,176
You are massaging my back,
not making love to me.
49
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:55,015
Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Strago, I--
50
00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:58,056
This is not the first time.
And I find it decidedly nauseating.
51
00:05:58,225 --> 00:06:00,558
The Uniform Code of Thrush Procedure
states clearly...
52
00:06:00,727 --> 00:06:03,561
...that the relationship between
a Thrush official and an employee...
53
00:06:03,730 --> 00:06:05,722
- ...must be kept on the highest level.
- Excuse me.
54
00:06:05,899 --> 00:06:08,391
- Excuse me, sir?
- Yes, what is it?
55
00:06:09,269 --> 00:06:11,932
You did ask me to report
as soon as we arrived, sir.
56
00:06:12,105 --> 00:06:14,131
Oh, yes.
57
00:06:14,307 --> 00:06:18,506
I trust you and Dr. Von Kronen
had a good trip.
58
00:06:21,248 --> 00:06:23,581
Get something to eat, Luger.
59
00:06:23,750 --> 00:06:27,312
And ask the good doctor
to come here into my office.
60
00:06:32,192 --> 00:06:34,024
Oh, I won't need you.
61
00:06:34,194 --> 00:06:36,459
I suggest that you transcribe
some of the dictation.
62
00:06:36,630 --> 00:06:37,620
Yes, sir.
63
00:06:37,797 --> 00:06:39,766
- And Miss Diketon?
- Uh, sir?
64
00:06:39,933 --> 00:06:42,664
The, uh, skirt is too tight,
the length is too short...
65
00:06:42,836 --> 00:06:45,032
...the, uh, neckline is too low.
66
00:06:45,205 --> 00:06:49,939
You're working in a place of business now.
Try to conduct yourself accordingly.
67
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:51,400
I'm sorry, sir.
68
00:06:52,112 --> 00:06:55,879
A straight line, 30 kilometers, turn left.
69
00:06:56,049 --> 00:06:57,244
Here, see?
70
00:06:57,417 --> 00:07:00,114
Then we go through "Taforna"?
71
00:07:00,287 --> 00:07:02,222
Taforna, si, yes.
72
00:07:02,389 --> 00:07:03,652
Okay, grazie.
73
00:07:03,823 --> 00:07:05,416
[SPEAKING IN ITALIAN]
74
00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:07,355
[SPEAKS IN ITALIAN]
75
00:07:09,462 --> 00:07:11,454
[MAN LAUGHS]
76
00:07:18,238 --> 00:07:22,471
[IN ENGLISH ACCENT]
Code 3, this is 29, come in.
77
00:07:23,510 --> 00:07:25,172
- You're Herr Strago, I suppose.
- "Strago."
78
00:07:25,345 --> 00:07:26,438
- Strago.
- Correct.
79
00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:29,708
And I cannot tell you, doctor,
how eagerly we have, uh...
80
00:07:29,883 --> 00:07:31,476
...been looking forward to your arrival.
81
00:07:31,651 --> 00:07:32,641
Yeah.
82
00:07:32,819 --> 00:07:36,483
They have been looking forward
to my arrival in Nuremberg too.
83
00:07:36,656 --> 00:07:38,648
They're still looking.
84
00:07:39,859 --> 00:07:42,294
This is as lucky for Thrush
as it is for you, doctor.
85
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:46,923
I trust, Herr Strago,
that you are about to reveal precisely...
86
00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:51,401
...why you called me halfway
around the world...
87
00:07:51,571 --> 00:07:56,202
...to this dirty, hot
and altogether miserable country.
88
00:07:56,376 --> 00:07:59,904
- Mr. Luger told you nothing of our plan?
- No, he did not.
89
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:01,207
- Good.
- What?
90
00:08:01,381 --> 00:08:02,974
Uh....
91
00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:07,086
Because if he had,
he would no longer be with us.
92
00:08:07,253 --> 00:08:08,744
Oh.
93
00:08:09,789 --> 00:08:11,223
The map, doctor.
94
00:08:11,391 --> 00:08:14,327
You, uh, appear to find it
quite interesting.
95
00:08:15,261 --> 00:08:18,231
Does it bring back any old memories?
96
00:08:19,933 --> 00:08:25,395
Oh, I have studied many maps
very much like this one.
97
00:08:25,572 --> 00:08:29,202
I know about your dream, doctor.
A truly remarkable one.
98
00:08:29,376 --> 00:08:32,437
Divert the Gulf Stream,
turn the island of Greenland...
99
00:08:32,612 --> 00:08:36,276
...a barren icy waste,
into a lush semitropical paradise.
100
00:08:36,449 --> 00:08:39,283
That could have been the seat
of a new empire.
101
00:08:39,452 --> 00:08:41,853
The home of the master race.
102
00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:45,515
And from it, and through the range
of missiles that were later developed...
103
00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:49,129
...you could have controlled the world.
104
00:08:51,931 --> 00:08:55,834
But Mr. Hitler didn't listen to you.
105
00:08:56,002 --> 00:09:00,736
Thrush is prepared to listen,
Dr. Von Kronen.
106
00:09:01,408 --> 00:09:06,403
Indeed, we have been listening
for quite some time. And now...
107
00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:10,407
...we are prepared to act.
108
00:09:26,599 --> 00:09:29,068
What is it, Luger?
I had hoped not to be disturbed.
109
00:09:29,235 --> 00:09:32,637
I'm terribly sorry, sir,
but this is rather important.
110
00:09:33,173 --> 00:09:35,608
Communications has just heard
from one of our sentries.
111
00:09:35,775 --> 00:09:39,234
A couple of strangers,
they could be U.N.C.L.E. men.
112
00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:40,744
Are they coming here?
113
00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:43,941
Yes, sir.
They're coming through Taforna.
114
00:09:44,117 --> 00:09:46,712
They should be there in, oh, 10 minutes.
115
00:09:46,886 --> 00:09:47,945
Huh.
116
00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:51,990
Well, then, Luger, you and your men
should be there in five.
117
00:09:52,826 --> 00:09:54,488
[WHISPERING]
Yes, sir.
118
00:09:55,462 --> 00:09:57,454
[PARADE MUSIC PLAYING]
119
00:10:19,652 --> 00:10:21,644
[SPEAKING IN ITALIAN]
120
00:10:24,023 --> 00:10:25,548
[SPEAKS IN ITALIAN]
121
00:10:25,725 --> 00:10:27,785
You came to join us
in the procession, huh?
122
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:30,055
WOMAN: Uh, no, Padre, no.
- No?
123
00:10:30,230 --> 00:10:31,823
But today, our pizzeria's open.
124
00:10:31,998 --> 00:10:33,660
- Oh.
- I want you to cut the ribbon for me.
125
00:10:33,833 --> 00:10:35,358
[MUMBLING IN ITALIAN]
126
00:10:35,535 --> 00:10:38,004
Padre, it will be just like they do things
in America.
127
00:10:38,171 --> 00:10:39,434
Grande, big.
128
00:10:39,606 --> 00:10:41,336
Very impressive.
129
00:10:43,343 --> 00:10:45,039
Yes, it is.
130
00:10:45,211 --> 00:10:46,611
Uh, big, big.
131
00:10:46,779 --> 00:10:48,907
[SCOFFS THEN SPEAKS IN ITALIAN]
132
00:10:49,082 --> 00:10:53,315
Signor Strago, he was supposed
to cut the ribbon himself, huh?
133
00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:54,476
[SPEAKS IN ITALIAN]
134
00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:57,783
Of course, he's a big man now.
He's a padrone.
135
00:10:57,957 --> 00:11:00,392
Si, ma Padre, Signor Strago
is a very important man.
136
00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:03,394
He cannot come,
but he promise he'd send, um, eh....
137
00:11:03,563 --> 00:11:05,031
[SPEAKS IN ITALIAN]
138
00:11:05,198 --> 00:11:06,666
Uh, representative.
139
00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:09,132
- Uh-huh.
- But so far, no one has come.
140
00:11:09,302 --> 00:11:13,205
Oh, uh, who is this representative?
141
00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:20,544
[ARGUING IN ITALIAN]
142
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:32,681
ILLYA:
Uh-oh.
143
00:11:44,938 --> 00:11:47,066
And much of the money I make,
I give it to your church.
144
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:49,937
Oh, what a wonderful girl you are.
145
00:11:50,109 --> 00:11:52,408
[SPEAKING IN ITALIAN]
146
00:11:59,652 --> 00:12:01,177
[SPEAKS IN ITALIAN]
147
00:12:01,354 --> 00:12:07,157
It is my hope that, uh, all your dreams
will be good dreams.
148
00:12:07,327 --> 00:12:10,786
And, uh, this beautiful
wonderful pizzeria....
149
00:12:10,964 --> 00:12:13,195
[GUNFIRE]
150
00:12:14,934 --> 00:12:17,199
[PEOPLE SCREAMING]
151
00:12:19,872 --> 00:12:21,864
[SPEAKS IN ITALIAN]
152
00:12:54,641 --> 00:12:55,904
[GRENADE PIN CLICKS]
153
00:13:22,869 --> 00:13:26,897
Diverting the Gulf Stream, of course,
will mean much more...
154
00:13:27,073 --> 00:13:30,737
...than merely turning Greenland
into a tropical paradise.
155
00:13:30,910 --> 00:13:33,573
It will also mean turning
most of the Northern Hemisphere...
156
00:13:33,746 --> 00:13:34,907
...into an icebox.
157
00:13:35,081 --> 00:13:36,845
Indeed it will, doctor.
158
00:13:37,016 --> 00:13:38,450
Can't you see it?
159
00:13:38,618 --> 00:13:43,716
Blizzards in New York, in Paris, in London,
in the middle of July.
160
00:13:43,890 --> 00:13:46,553
I can assure you that Thrushland
will take full advantage...
161
00:13:46,726 --> 00:13:48,058
...of the chaos that would follow.
162
00:13:48,227 --> 00:13:49,855
[DOORBELL BUZZES]
163
00:13:50,029 --> 00:13:52,464
Forgive me, doctor,
we're forever being interrupted.
164
00:13:52,632 --> 00:13:53,930
[SWITCH CLICKS]
165
00:13:55,535 --> 00:13:57,868
Herr Luger, uh, what have you found?
166
00:13:58,237 --> 00:14:02,140
Well, uh, they were U.N.C.L.E. agents.
167
00:14:02,308 --> 00:14:06,439
The, uh, same ones who almost, uh,
captured Dr. Von Kronen.
168
00:14:06,612 --> 00:14:08,080
Oh.
169
00:14:08,247 --> 00:14:10,079
You've disposed of them, of course?
170
00:14:10,717 --> 00:14:12,879
Well, uh, we got one of them.
171
00:14:13,052 --> 00:14:15,021
You got one of them?
172
00:14:15,922 --> 00:14:16,912
Yes, sir.
173
00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:20,486
- And the other?
- We, uh....
174
00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:22,652
We searched all over, sir.
175
00:14:22,829 --> 00:14:24,593
All over and....
176
00:14:24,764 --> 00:14:27,495
And he got away?
177
00:14:28,067 --> 00:14:29,194
Yes, sir.
178
00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:31,398
Miss Diketon.
179
00:14:37,410 --> 00:14:38,400
[PANTS]
180
00:14:38,978 --> 00:14:39,968
Sir?
181
00:14:40,146 --> 00:14:43,514
Not dictation this time, Miss Diketon.
182
00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:48,351
A task at which you're considerably
more adept.
183
00:14:48,521 --> 00:14:50,183
Oh, yes, sir.
184
00:15:01,834 --> 00:15:03,598
Oh, Mr. Strago, please, please--
185
00:15:03,770 --> 00:15:05,966
You've jeopardized our entire organization.
186
00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:09,934
That other agent is probably
on his way here now.
187
00:15:10,109 --> 00:15:11,702
But I....
188
00:15:13,646 --> 00:15:14,739
Miss Diketon, no.
189
00:15:16,883 --> 00:15:18,613
Miss Diketon, no.
190
00:15:20,052 --> 00:15:21,645
Run.
191
00:15:24,857 --> 00:15:26,348
Run!
192
00:15:28,294 --> 00:15:29,455
Run.
193
00:15:32,031 --> 00:15:34,125
[LUGER SCREAMS]
194
00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:35,393
[THUDS]
195
00:15:36,602 --> 00:15:40,562
- Have someone clean up that mess, please.
- Right away.
196
00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:44,502
[FOOTSTEPS]
197
00:15:45,745 --> 00:15:48,010
[DOOR OPENS THEN SHUTS]
198
00:15:48,181 --> 00:15:50,946
Captain, there may be an U.N.C.L.E. man
in the area.
199
00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:52,642
I want a thorough search made.
200
00:15:52,819 --> 00:15:55,789
And report back to me
every half-hour on your progress.
201
00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:58,083
[INTERCOM CLICKS]
202
00:16:00,259 --> 00:16:02,854
As an expert in such matters...
203
00:16:03,029 --> 00:16:07,125
...may I say that your Miss Diketon
is an artist...
204
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:10,668
...of whom we would have been proud
in the old days.
205
00:16:12,138 --> 00:16:15,131
I think we'll get along fine, you and I.
206
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:20,469
Will you hurry that relay, please?
207
00:16:20,646 --> 00:16:22,774
This is an emergency.
Repeat, emergency situation.
208
00:16:22,949 --> 00:16:24,042
Yes, Mr. Kuryakin?
209
00:16:24,617 --> 00:16:28,281
I'm looking into Strago's winery.
Except it's not just a winery.
210
00:16:28,454 --> 00:16:32,221
There's some sort of laboratory
on the grounds. And it's very well-guarded.
211
00:16:32,391 --> 00:16:35,555
I see. Uh, where's Mr. Solo?
212
00:16:35,728 --> 00:16:37,162
I don't know and I'm a bit worried.
213
00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:39,629
We had to separate
when things got a bit rough.
214
00:16:39,799 --> 00:16:41,324
I haven't been able to contact him.
215
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:47,637
Well, uh, Mr. Solo has proven quite adept
at taking care of himself in the past.
216
00:16:47,807 --> 00:16:50,538
You better try to get into that winery.
Do you think you can?
217
00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:54,704
Probably not until nightfall
unless the situation changes.
218
00:16:54,881 --> 00:16:57,715
Very well. Carry on, Mr. Kuryakin.
219
00:17:06,459 --> 00:17:08,451
[BOTH SPEAKING IN ITALIAN]
220
00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:18,469
That's for the pizzeria.
He breaks it apart, he pays for it.
221
00:17:18,638 --> 00:17:22,075
How rich is this one. Oh.
222
00:17:22,241 --> 00:17:28,112
I am a poor girl.
A simple girl, but I am an honest girl.
223
00:17:28,281 --> 00:17:30,409
Well, this is for the interest.
224
00:17:30,583 --> 00:17:32,814
Eh, the Padre says he's from America.
225
00:17:32,985 --> 00:17:36,649
Ha, with this money, he must be.
226
00:17:51,003 --> 00:17:52,699
SOLO:
Hmm.
227
00:17:52,872 --> 00:17:54,704
[SPEAKS IN ITALIAN]
228
00:18:00,346 --> 00:18:02,076
How much of this did I miss?
229
00:18:03,549 --> 00:18:07,384
The roof? It fell on your head, remember?
230
00:18:07,553 --> 00:18:08,782
Oh.
231
00:18:09,722 --> 00:18:11,850
SOLO:
Where am I, a local police station?
232
00:18:12,024 --> 00:18:13,856
Oh, no.
233
00:18:14,026 --> 00:18:17,986
You are in the house
of Pia Monteri and her grandmamma.
234
00:18:18,164 --> 00:18:22,397
[BOTH SPEAKING IN ITALIAN]
235
00:18:22,568 --> 00:18:24,901
- Eh....
- How do you feel?
236
00:18:25,071 --> 00:18:27,438
[SPEAKS IN FRENCH AND SPANISH]
237
00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:28,768
Oh.
238
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:30,739
[SPEAKING IN ITALIAN]
239
00:18:32,979 --> 00:18:34,242
[GRANDMAMMA LAUGHS]
240
00:18:34,413 --> 00:18:37,941
You know, you break my pizzeria.
241
00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:40,245
Yeah, I remember now.
242
00:18:40,419 --> 00:18:42,354
I'm sorry, though.
243
00:18:42,521 --> 00:18:43,614
[MOANS]
244
00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:45,951
- Can you help me up? I've got--
- Oh, no, no, no.
245
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:48,253
- You are weak, you cannot.
- Ow.
246
00:18:48,427 --> 00:18:49,986
You lie down. I put a new towel.
247
00:18:50,162 --> 00:18:51,152
[SOLO MOANS]
248
00:18:51,330 --> 00:18:52,855
You stay.
249
00:18:54,166 --> 00:18:55,828
Hmm.
250
00:18:56,168 --> 00:18:59,195
I remember. I saw you in the procession.
251
00:19:00,106 --> 00:19:04,271
Do you, uh, collect pop art?
252
00:19:04,443 --> 00:19:06,309
- Pop? No.
SOLO: Mm.
253
00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:07,811
PIA:
They're my uncles.
254
00:19:09,115 --> 00:19:10,515
Oh.
255
00:19:10,683 --> 00:19:12,515
Well, you must be very proud of them.
256
00:19:12,685 --> 00:19:17,521
Oh, si, they go to America many years ago,
the city of Chicago.
257
00:19:17,690 --> 00:19:21,684
They do big important business.
Prohibition business.
258
00:19:22,928 --> 00:19:24,453
They do other things now.
259
00:19:27,199 --> 00:19:29,930
Mm, yeah, that was very big, uh...
260
00:19:30,102 --> 00:19:31,570
...Pia? Is it Pia?
261
00:19:32,605 --> 00:19:35,074
- Pia.
- Yeah, I'm Napoleon Solo.
262
00:19:35,241 --> 00:19:37,142
- Napoleon?
- Yeah, Napoleon.
263
00:19:37,309 --> 00:19:38,299
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
264
00:19:38,477 --> 00:19:39,877
I've got to make a phone call.
265
00:19:40,046 --> 00:19:41,947
- No, no, you can't go out, you're very sick.
- No.
266
00:19:42,114 --> 00:19:44,049
- No, no.
- I'll just make a phone call.
267
00:19:44,216 --> 00:19:46,276
A telephone?
268
00:19:46,452 --> 00:19:48,978
Yes, this is a trick phone.
269
00:19:49,155 --> 00:19:50,987
[STATIC OVER RADIO]
270
00:19:51,157 --> 00:19:53,854
[RADIO BEEPING]
271
00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:55,016
Kuryakin here.
272
00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:56,753
Illya? Napoleon.
273
00:19:57,229 --> 00:19:58,822
Oh, Napoleon, where are you?
274
00:19:58,998 --> 00:20:01,058
Well, right now,
I'm being administered on to...
275
00:20:01,233 --> 00:20:03,065
...by a very beautiful young lady.
276
00:20:04,070 --> 00:20:05,732
Forgive me, I should have known.
277
00:20:05,905 --> 00:20:07,601
Ah, you should've, huh?
278
00:20:07,773 --> 00:20:09,901
I'm gonna be under the weather
for a little while here.
279
00:20:10,076 --> 00:20:12,636
SOLO [OVER RADIO]:
What--? Uh, what are you doing?
280
00:20:13,112 --> 00:20:15,672
Trying to figure a way
into Strago's winery.
281
00:20:16,615 --> 00:20:18,379
I'm not as fortunate as you.
282
00:20:18,951 --> 00:20:21,182
No, you're not, that's true.
283
00:20:21,353 --> 00:20:22,377
Keep in touch.
284
00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:23,545
[SPEAKS IN ITALIAN]
285
00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:25,624
[FOOTSTEPS]
286
00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:28,854
[BOTH GRUNTING]
287
00:20:53,385 --> 00:20:55,581
Oh, hello, there.
288
00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:56,882
How do you do?
289
00:20:57,957 --> 00:21:00,483
You're a new one.
I haven't seen you before.
290
00:21:00,926 --> 00:21:04,226
I just came in as a replacement, Miss...?
291
00:21:04,396 --> 00:21:08,424
Oh, Miss Diketon.
You're really very cute.
292
00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:10,861
Thank you.
293
00:21:11,704 --> 00:21:15,300
Excuse me, Miss, uh, Diketon.
294
00:21:25,851 --> 00:21:27,513
You there.
295
00:21:28,254 --> 00:21:30,120
What's your unit?
296
00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:31,757
Is there something wrong, sir?
297
00:21:31,924 --> 00:21:34,325
Have you forgotten
how to stand at attention?
298
00:21:34,493 --> 00:21:35,483
[ILLYA GRUNTS]
299
00:21:35,661 --> 00:21:37,289
Let's have a look at your papers.
300
00:21:37,463 --> 00:21:38,453
[BOXES CRASHES]
301
00:21:38,631 --> 00:21:40,122
You bumbling fools!
302
00:21:40,299 --> 00:21:43,565
Have you any idea what one bottle
of that heavy heavy water's worth?
303
00:21:43,736 --> 00:21:46,069
Get up to my quarters, both of you!
304
00:21:46,238 --> 00:21:47,934
Now you.
305
00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:50,777
We'll have a look
at your identification papers...
306
00:21:50,943 --> 00:21:52,775
...if you don't mind.
307
00:21:55,948 --> 00:21:57,678
[GRUNTS]
308
00:22:05,257 --> 00:22:08,716
After him.
He's the one we've been looking for.
309
00:22:09,695 --> 00:22:12,995
Signor Solo, I hope you like
the sewing I did on your jacket, huh?
310
00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:14,189
Oh, good, thank you.
311
00:22:14,366 --> 00:22:15,356
Your car, you know.
312
00:22:15,534 --> 00:22:17,002
- Uh-huh?
- It's in front of the school.
313
00:22:17,169 --> 00:22:19,138
You go straight to the piazza
then you turn right.
314
00:22:19,305 --> 00:22:21,206
Right. Okay, thank you, Pia.
315
00:22:21,373 --> 00:22:22,671
- Signor Solo?
- Mm-hm?
316
00:22:22,842 --> 00:22:24,037
You really have to go?
317
00:22:24,210 --> 00:22:26,202
[SPEAKS IN ITALIAN]
318
00:22:26,378 --> 00:22:27,641
SOLO:
I'm afraid so.
319
00:22:27,813 --> 00:22:30,180
Listen, I wanna pay you
for what happened to the pizzeria.
320
00:22:30,349 --> 00:22:31,749
In a way, I think I'm responsible.
321
00:22:31,917 --> 00:22:34,580
No, no, we-- We have-- We have, um....
322
00:22:34,753 --> 00:22:35,743
[SPEAKS IN ITALIAN]
323
00:22:35,921 --> 00:22:37,150
We have insurance.
324
00:22:39,925 --> 00:22:42,190
What happened to the pizzeria
is as good as paid for.
325
00:22:42,361 --> 00:22:44,956
Well, let me pay you for the kindness
and the sewing, then.
326
00:22:45,130 --> 00:22:48,589
- There is no price for kindness.
- No, I insist.
327
00:22:53,439 --> 00:22:54,429
[SPEAKS ITALIAN]
328
00:22:54,607 --> 00:22:56,200
There is no insurance.
329
00:22:56,375 --> 00:22:57,707
But you're so rich, huh?
330
00:22:57,877 --> 00:22:58,936
[LAUGHS]
331
00:22:59,111 --> 00:23:00,306
I was.
332
00:23:00,479 --> 00:23:02,744
All right, arrivederci,
and thank you for everything.
333
00:23:03,949 --> 00:23:05,975
I, uh-- We meet again, huh?
334
00:23:06,151 --> 00:23:07,949
I hope so.
335
00:23:08,120 --> 00:23:11,022
I really do. Signora Monteri.
336
00:23:21,767 --> 00:23:23,235
He's not for you, Pia.
337
00:23:23,402 --> 00:23:25,064
[SPEAKS IN ITALIAN]
338
00:23:27,740 --> 00:23:30,574
Search thoroughly.
If he's not in there, move to the next one.
339
00:23:30,743 --> 00:23:33,804
We'll get him even if it takes all night.
340
00:23:44,056 --> 00:23:46,048
[VEHICLE APPROACHING]
341
00:24:10,349 --> 00:24:11,339
[KNOCKING ON FRONT DOOR]
342
00:24:13,719 --> 00:24:15,187
Uh, I, uh....
343
00:24:15,621 --> 00:24:17,146
[GASPS]
344
00:24:17,690 --> 00:24:20,353
Uh, Pia, don't be alarmed.
345
00:24:20,526 --> 00:24:21,994
Signor Solo.
346
00:24:22,161 --> 00:24:23,720
Excuse the, uh....
347
00:24:23,896 --> 00:24:26,991
Santa Rosa, Signor Solo,
what are you doing here?
348
00:24:27,166 --> 00:24:30,136
Those men are looking for me.
They want to kill me.
349
00:24:30,302 --> 00:24:32,737
Now I need a place to hide.
350
00:24:34,106 --> 00:24:38,009
You want to stay here?
351
00:24:39,178 --> 00:24:41,545
Well, I have nowhere else to go.
352
00:24:43,082 --> 00:24:45,313
[VEHICLE APPROACHING]
353
00:24:51,490 --> 00:24:53,482
[GRANDMAMMA SPEAKING IN ITALIAN]
354
00:25:01,533 --> 00:25:02,557
Hey, what are you do...?
355
00:25:02,735 --> 00:25:04,727
What do you want?
You can't come in here like this.
356
00:25:04,903 --> 00:25:07,134
[GRANDMAMMA SPEAKING IN ITALIAN]
357
00:25:07,306 --> 00:25:08,467
GRANDMAMMA:
What do you want?
358
00:25:08,640 --> 00:25:11,610
[GRANDMAMMA SPEAKING IN ITALIAN]
359
00:25:11,777 --> 00:25:13,871
- Will you tell me, please, what are you do--?
- Quiet.
360
00:25:14,046 --> 00:25:15,378
- What do you mean qui--?
- Upstairs.
361
00:25:15,547 --> 00:25:16,879
No, my granddaughter is up there.
362
00:25:17,049 --> 00:25:18,278
[SPEAKS IN ITALIAN]
363
00:25:18,450 --> 00:25:19,440
She is a child.
364
00:25:19,618 --> 00:25:21,610
[GRANDMAMMA SPEAKING IN ITALIAN]
365
00:25:25,224 --> 00:25:26,522
[SCREAMS]
366
00:25:27,292 --> 00:25:29,056
[SPEAKS IN ITALIAN]
367
00:25:29,228 --> 00:25:30,628
Grandma, what do they want?
368
00:25:30,796 --> 00:25:32,788
[SPEAKING IN ITALIAN]
369
00:25:34,299 --> 00:25:36,165
Only to apologize, signorina.
370
00:25:36,335 --> 00:25:38,327
[BOTH TALKING IN ITALIAN]
371
00:25:42,141 --> 00:25:44,576
Perhaps I was a bit too hasty.
372
00:25:44,743 --> 00:25:47,372
You there, under the bed.
373
00:25:47,546 --> 00:25:49,276
SOLDIER:
Out.
374
00:25:49,448 --> 00:25:51,610
Out, out, out.
375
00:25:56,021 --> 00:25:58,286
My apologies once more, signorina.
376
00:25:58,457 --> 00:26:00,483
This is not the man we're looking for.
377
00:26:05,364 --> 00:26:07,390
[SPEAKS IN ITALIAN]
378
00:26:14,273 --> 00:26:16,265
[WHIMPERS]
379
00:26:18,110 --> 00:26:19,874
[SPEAKS IN ITALIAN]
380
00:26:20,045 --> 00:26:21,911
They must be after Illya.
381
00:26:22,081 --> 00:26:23,344
Huh?
382
00:26:23,515 --> 00:26:24,505
Oh, nothing.
383
00:26:24,683 --> 00:26:25,673
[DOOR OPENS]
384
00:26:29,154 --> 00:26:30,349
GRANDMAMMA:
The shame.
385
00:26:30,522 --> 00:26:32,081
[GRANDMAMMA SPEAKING IN ITALIAN]
386
00:26:35,494 --> 00:26:37,656
[SPEAKS IN ITALIAN]
387
00:26:38,964 --> 00:26:41,490
In my closet
is my old wedding dress, Pia.
388
00:26:42,301 --> 00:26:44,202
Put it on, put it on.
389
00:26:44,770 --> 00:26:47,706
And then send someone
for Padre Francisco.
390
00:26:47,873 --> 00:26:49,637
[SPEAKS IN ITALIAN]
391
00:27:03,122 --> 00:27:05,216
- Then--
- Quiet and don't move.
392
00:27:05,390 --> 00:27:07,950
In a little while, you are going
to be my grandson-in-law.
393
00:27:08,127 --> 00:27:09,493
[GRANDMAMMA SPEAKS IN ITALIAN]
394
00:27:10,262 --> 00:27:13,824
Tell me, you can support my Pia, huh?
395
00:27:13,999 --> 00:27:15,661
- Uh--
- You don't look very strong.
396
00:27:15,834 --> 00:27:19,100
Well, I don't think that's really
an issue right now, is it?
397
00:27:19,271 --> 00:27:20,261
I mean, you see--
398
00:27:20,439 --> 00:27:21,429
[SPEAKS IN ITALIAN]
399
00:27:21,607 --> 00:27:22,768
No, I don't think you do see.
400
00:27:22,941 --> 00:27:25,274
I don't suppose I would either
if I were in your position.
401
00:27:25,444 --> 00:27:27,777
- Illya, come in, little friend.
- Huh? What did you say?
402
00:27:27,946 --> 00:27:28,936
Hmm?
403
00:27:29,114 --> 00:27:32,209
Well, sometimes when I'm nervous,
I, uh, talk a little bit to myself.
404
00:27:32,384 --> 00:27:33,511
Illya, come in, will you?
405
00:27:33,685 --> 00:27:36,211
Yes, Napoleon,
how is your burgeoning romance?
406
00:27:36,388 --> 00:27:39,984
Ah, it threatens to burgeon too far.
Do you know where the car is, hmm, hmm?
407
00:27:40,159 --> 00:27:42,594
Yes. What do you have in mind?
408
00:27:42,761 --> 00:27:44,423
Car? What car?
What are you talking about?
409
00:27:44,596 --> 00:27:47,998
Ah, I'll be with you in a moment,
Signora Monteri of 9 Valachi Street.
410
00:27:48,167 --> 00:27:49,931
SOLO [OVER RADIO]:
Then make it fast, make it fast.
411
00:27:50,102 --> 00:27:52,469
- And honk. Honk when you get here.
- Honk?
412
00:27:52,638 --> 00:27:55,665
- Oh, a man who talks to himself?
- Excuse me. Excuse me?
413
00:27:55,841 --> 00:27:56,831
[SPEAKS IN ITALIAN]
414
00:27:57,009 --> 00:27:59,501
Such a one I should have in my family.
415
00:28:00,445 --> 00:28:01,845
[PADRE AND PIA SPEAKING IN ITALIAN]
416
00:28:02,014 --> 00:28:04,540
But it cannot be done this way.
417
00:28:04,716 --> 00:28:06,617
The banns,
the banns have not been published.
418
00:28:06,785 --> 00:28:08,447
And then you hardly know each other--
419
00:28:08,620 --> 00:28:11,419
No, no, Padre,
they know each other too well.
420
00:28:11,590 --> 00:28:13,957
Father, excuse me,
I think an explanation is in order.
421
00:28:14,126 --> 00:28:15,287
[GRANDMAMMA SPEAKS ITALIAN]
422
00:28:15,460 --> 00:28:17,588
In Sicily, when a man
stays overnight with a girl...
423
00:28:17,763 --> 00:28:19,925
...and the girl,
she's not married, heh, heh...
424
00:28:20,098 --> 00:28:21,532
...there is no explaining.
425
00:28:21,700 --> 00:28:24,260
There is only the wedding or the bullet.
426
00:28:24,436 --> 00:28:25,768
[GIRLS GIGGLING]
427
00:28:26,338 --> 00:28:28,398
[SPEAKING IN ITALIAN]
428
00:28:33,045 --> 00:28:35,071
I see, I see it is an emergency.
429
00:28:35,247 --> 00:28:37,478
[BOTH SPEAKING IN ITALIAN]
430
00:28:38,083 --> 00:28:39,517
[HORN HONKING]
431
00:28:39,685 --> 00:28:40,846
Excuse me.
432
00:28:41,019 --> 00:28:42,612
[PADRE SPEAKS IN ITALIAN]
433
00:28:50,996 --> 00:28:53,158
[BOTH SPEAKING IN ITALIAN]
434
00:28:55,500 --> 00:28:59,335
Well, you can relax now, Napoleon.
We'll be in Palermo in a few minutes.
435
00:28:59,504 --> 00:29:00,665
They can't get you there.
436
00:29:01,406 --> 00:29:05,537
That's not what's bothering me.
It's the girl.
437
00:29:05,711 --> 00:29:09,375
She's marked for life just because
she tried to help me out of a jam.
438
00:29:09,548 --> 00:29:11,915
We ought to go back.
I'll make another stab at explaining.
439
00:29:12,084 --> 00:29:14,918
I'm sorry, Napoleon,
but we've a plane waiting for us.
440
00:29:15,087 --> 00:29:17,613
With what we've learned
and what we suspect....
441
00:29:17,789 --> 00:29:20,418
Anyway, Mr. Waverly wants us
in New York right away.
442
00:29:22,561 --> 00:29:23,551
[SOBBING]
443
00:29:23,729 --> 00:29:25,322
You want to leave here?
444
00:29:25,497 --> 00:29:26,487
[SPEAKS IN ITALIAN]
445
00:29:26,665 --> 00:29:27,792
We leave Sicily.
446
00:29:27,966 --> 00:29:31,596
We go to America.
We will look for your Signor Solo.
447
00:29:31,770 --> 00:29:35,036
And you will become
the married woman, legitimate.
448
00:29:35,207 --> 00:29:36,903
A fine chance even if we find him.
449
00:29:37,075 --> 00:29:40,045
No, no, you don't worry about that,
my grandchild.
450
00:29:40,212 --> 00:29:41,805
We will go to your uncles.
451
00:29:41,980 --> 00:29:45,109
Signor Solo will not make any trouble
for the Stilletto Brothers.
452
00:29:45,550 --> 00:29:49,453
They are of your blood, my child,
and this is an affair of the blood.
453
00:29:49,621 --> 00:29:51,647
And what if Signor Solo refuses?
454
00:29:52,991 --> 00:29:56,792
No, no, no.
Your uncles are honorable men.
455
00:29:56,962 --> 00:29:59,989
If Signor Solo refuses,
they will blow his head off.
456
00:30:00,165 --> 00:30:01,724
[PROJECTOR WHIRS]
457
00:30:06,071 --> 00:30:08,063
[GUNFIRE ON FILM]
458
00:30:19,551 --> 00:30:21,713
Oh, for crying out loud.
459
00:30:22,220 --> 00:30:23,210
Huh?
460
00:30:23,388 --> 00:30:27,416
Fingers, you ain't even dressed yet.
Why don't you give them pictures a rest?
461
00:30:27,592 --> 00:30:28,582
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
462
00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:34,165
- I mean, every single night.
- Put them lights out and answer the phone.
463
00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:37,933
- Yeah?
- Put them out!
464
00:30:38,103 --> 00:30:39,662
Who?
465
00:30:39,838 --> 00:30:42,808
- Sicily?
- Sicily? Hey.
466
00:30:42,974 --> 00:30:44,602
Give me that.
467
00:30:47,112 --> 00:30:48,102
Hello?
468
00:30:48,280 --> 00:30:51,273
[SPEAKING IN ITALIAN]
469
00:30:51,450 --> 00:30:53,851
This is Signor Stilletto.
470
00:30:54,019 --> 00:30:57,217
[SPEAKING IN ITALIAN]
471
00:30:57,389 --> 00:30:58,379
It is....
472
00:30:58,557 --> 00:31:01,584
[SPEAKS IN ITALIAN]
473
00:31:01,760 --> 00:31:04,025
Ah, uh-huh.
474
00:31:04,196 --> 00:31:06,791
Miami Beach is just great, just great.
475
00:31:06,965 --> 00:31:09,525
And how is it with you?
How is Taforna, eh?
476
00:31:09,701 --> 00:31:12,170
- Oh, for crying out loud.
- Shut up.
477
00:31:12,337 --> 00:31:15,466
No, no, not you, signora, just my wife.
478
00:31:15,640 --> 00:31:17,074
Uh-huh.
479
00:31:17,242 --> 00:31:20,144
Ah, yeah, yeah, my little niece.
480
00:31:20,312 --> 00:31:21,871
[LAUGHS]
481
00:31:22,047 --> 00:31:25,745
Not so little I bet, huh?
482
00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:31,246
Eh? To Pia?
483
00:31:31,423 --> 00:31:33,153
To my niece?
484
00:31:33,325 --> 00:31:35,794
- What? What?
- Shut up. Shut up.
485
00:31:38,530 --> 00:31:41,022
It was right that you should call me.
486
00:31:41,199 --> 00:31:43,930
You bet your sweet life I'll be there.
487
00:31:44,102 --> 00:31:46,799
For this thing,
for the honor of the family...
488
00:31:46,972 --> 00:31:50,636
...all the Stilletto Brothers
will meet you in Chicago.
489
00:31:51,243 --> 00:31:54,680
Yeah, like the good old days.
Goodbye, signora, goodbye.
490
00:31:54,846 --> 00:31:56,508
Pack me a bag and make it fast.
491
00:31:56,681 --> 00:31:59,810
- You're going to Chicago tonight?
- Shut up and pack.
492
00:32:01,586 --> 00:32:05,523
Hello?
I wanna send a telegram to my brother.
493
00:32:05,690 --> 00:32:08,819
My brother, Federico Stilletto.
494
00:32:08,994 --> 00:32:13,989
Sunset Valley Retirement Village,
Santa Robles, California.
495
00:32:14,966 --> 00:32:16,958
[TANGO MUSIC PLAYING]
496
00:32:23,241 --> 00:32:24,607
Fine, fine, Mrs. Feinberg.
497
00:32:24,776 --> 00:32:26,870
Oh, thank you, Mr. Stilletto.
498
00:32:27,045 --> 00:32:30,106
But you know, when I told her
that 30 years ago...
499
00:32:30,282 --> 00:32:34,310
...you were number four
on the most wanted list, ha, ha, oh, boy...
500
00:32:34,486 --> 00:32:36,955
...now she wants to take dancing lessons.
501
00:32:37,122 --> 00:32:39,819
But you know, I think my son-in-law
would get jealous.
502
00:32:39,991 --> 00:32:41,323
[LAUGHS]
503
00:32:44,930 --> 00:32:47,263
- You Federico Stilletto?
- Who wants to know?
504
00:32:47,432 --> 00:32:51,096
You're Federico Stilletto. Telegram.
505
00:32:51,269 --> 00:32:54,171
- Smart punk.
- Thanks.
506
00:32:54,339 --> 00:32:56,774
- Excuse me.
- Certainly.
507
00:33:03,014 --> 00:33:05,313
WOMAN: Anyway, maybe my daughter
might come in tomorrow...
508
00:33:05,484 --> 00:33:07,043
...and start her lessons.
509
00:33:07,219 --> 00:33:08,847
You'd love her, Mr. Stilletto.
510
00:33:09,020 --> 00:33:11,148
And she'd be just so thrilled
to be studying with you.
511
00:33:11,323 --> 00:33:14,191
And you don't have to worry about my--
512
00:33:23,335 --> 00:33:24,325
[SPEAKS IN ITALIAN]
513
00:33:24,503 --> 00:33:26,369
What an automobile. Elegant, huh?
514
00:33:26,538 --> 00:33:29,508
Yeah, this here old baby
has been sitting in the garage...
515
00:33:29,674 --> 00:33:31,666
...since before you were born, honey.
516
00:33:31,843 --> 00:33:33,175
Right, signora?
517
00:33:33,345 --> 00:33:34,335
[SPEAKS IN ITALIAN]
518
00:33:34,513 --> 00:33:38,109
I remember. You used to write about
all your friends you would take for a ride.
519
00:33:38,283 --> 00:33:39,307
[FEDERICO LAUGHS]
520
00:33:39,484 --> 00:33:42,545
- Them were the golden days.
- Oh, that's funny.
521
00:33:44,155 --> 00:33:46,454
[SPEAKS IN ITALIAN]
522
00:33:46,625 --> 00:33:47,615
I don't understand.
523
00:33:47,792 --> 00:33:51,354
Can Uncle Enzo get out of this jail
whenever he wants?
524
00:33:51,530 --> 00:33:53,999
[SPEAKS IN ITALIAN]
525
00:33:54,165 --> 00:33:58,967
Pia, honey, when it's a matter of honor,
family honor...
526
00:33:59,137 --> 00:34:01,868
...things can be arranged.
527
00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:03,906
[DOOR OPENS]
528
00:34:07,078 --> 00:34:08,273
[SHOUTS IN ITALIAN]
529
00:34:08,446 --> 00:34:10,438
Pia, hey!
530
00:34:10,615 --> 00:34:12,413
[CHATTERING]
531
00:34:21,560 --> 00:34:24,792
Well, welcome back from Sicily,
gentlemen.
532
00:34:24,963 --> 00:34:29,298
I understand you had
a particularly narrow escape, Mr. Solo.
533
00:34:29,467 --> 00:34:32,960
Uh, well, uh, actually,
it was a, uh, misunderstanding.
534
00:34:33,138 --> 00:34:34,128
Of course, of course.
535
00:34:34,639 --> 00:34:37,438
I'm sure an U.N.C.L.E. agent
would never do anything improper.
536
00:34:38,376 --> 00:34:40,208
SOLO:
Mm-hm.
537
00:34:40,645 --> 00:34:43,171
Well, now, to get to the business at hand.
538
00:34:43,615 --> 00:34:47,985
You'll be pleased to know, I'm sure,
that Mr. Strago is back in Chicago now.
539
00:34:48,153 --> 00:34:52,249
And so also is the heavy heavy water
you discovered, Mr. Kuryakin.
540
00:34:52,424 --> 00:34:54,256
And it's absolutely imperative...
541
00:34:54,426 --> 00:34:57,487
...that we find out precisely
how it's gonna be used.
542
00:34:57,662 --> 00:34:59,494
We already have our plane tickets, sir.
543
00:34:59,664 --> 00:35:04,102
Uh, your job, Mr. Kuryakin,
will be to prowl the Strago warehouse...
544
00:35:04,269 --> 00:35:05,703
...dressed as a longshoreman.
545
00:35:05,870 --> 00:35:08,362
And Mr. Solo will be your contact man.
546
00:35:08,540 --> 00:35:11,169
A, uh, longshoreman, sir?
547
00:35:11,343 --> 00:35:15,303
Yes, have you ever done any work
of that sort?
548
00:35:15,480 --> 00:35:18,109
- No, sir.
- Oh.
549
00:35:18,283 --> 00:35:21,583
Then, uh, you'll need this.
550
00:35:23,788 --> 00:35:25,484
What is it?
551
00:35:25,657 --> 00:35:27,990
A union card.
552
00:35:29,294 --> 00:35:30,523
[PEOPLE CHATTERING]
553
00:35:30,695 --> 00:35:34,530
[SHIP HORN BLOWING]
554
00:35:43,341 --> 00:35:45,333
[FORKLIFT APPROACHING]
555
00:35:54,319 --> 00:35:57,414
[SHIP HORN BLOWS]
556
00:35:57,589 --> 00:36:00,081
Of course,
activated by the magnetized water...
557
00:36:00,258 --> 00:36:03,786
...one of the missiles submerged every mile
or so along the Gulf should do the job.
558
00:36:03,962 --> 00:36:05,954
At least according
to our preliminary estimates.
559
00:36:06,131 --> 00:36:08,396
- Thank you.
- Of course.
560
00:36:08,566 --> 00:36:12,435
The exact distance will be determined
by our computers, of course.
561
00:36:16,441 --> 00:36:18,137
ILLYA:
All right, that's lunch!
562
00:36:18,309 --> 00:36:19,538
[WORKERS SHOUTING]
563
00:36:19,778 --> 00:36:21,212
Lunch!
564
00:36:24,315 --> 00:36:30,448
VON KRONEN: Now, from what I saw,
the missiles seems to be quite satisfactory.
565
00:36:30,622 --> 00:36:31,954
Yeah.
566
00:36:32,123 --> 00:36:34,115
Ah, Miss Diketon,
you may telephone Mr. Strago.
567
00:36:34,292 --> 00:36:37,558
Tell him the missiles may be loaded
aboard your ships tonight.
568
00:36:37,729 --> 00:36:39,595
Yes, professor.
569
00:36:39,764 --> 00:36:42,996
I do think I'd better be calling Mr. Strago.
570
00:36:55,680 --> 00:36:57,842
Now, gentlemen...
571
00:36:59,951 --> 00:37:02,716
...I've let you in here only out of respect
for your past reputation.
572
00:37:02,887 --> 00:37:05,220
But my patience is wearing thin.
573
00:37:05,390 --> 00:37:08,326
Now, for the 20th time,
let me assure you that Mr. Solo...
574
00:37:08,493 --> 00:37:11,395
...is not one of my mob,
as you so quaintly put it.
575
00:37:11,563 --> 00:37:13,225
I have not met him in Taforna
or elsewhere.
576
00:37:13,398 --> 00:37:15,390
And I have no idea
where he might be found.
577
00:37:15,567 --> 00:37:17,433
Now, Miss Monteri...
578
00:37:17,602 --> 00:37:21,198
...I'm sorry that you have to come
all this way for nothing.
579
00:37:24,109 --> 00:37:28,205
Why don't you take this nice child out
to see, um, Lake Michigan or something...
580
00:37:28,379 --> 00:37:29,904
...or buy her an ice cream cone--?
581
00:37:30,081 --> 00:37:31,344
FEDERICO:
Watch your mouth.
582
00:37:31,516 --> 00:37:33,508
[STILLETTOS AND PIA
ARGUING IN ITALIAN]
583
00:37:36,788 --> 00:37:38,222
[INTERCOM BEEPING]
584
00:37:38,389 --> 00:37:41,450
- Yes? Well, yes, put her on.
ENZO: Well, what is he thinking?
585
00:37:41,626 --> 00:37:42,821
Now will you be quiet?
586
00:37:44,362 --> 00:37:47,230
Now what is the trouble? Oh.
587
00:37:47,398 --> 00:37:49,594
[STILLETTOS ARGUING IN ITALIAN
OVER PHONE]
588
00:37:49,768 --> 00:37:51,236
[PAD LOCK CLINKING]
589
00:37:53,838 --> 00:37:56,740
[WHISPERING] Not yet, Mr. Strago,
but he's getting very close.
590
00:37:56,908 --> 00:37:59,810
Well, I'll, uh, take care of that right away.
591
00:37:59,978 --> 00:38:01,412
Yes, thank you.
592
00:38:01,579 --> 00:38:04,981
- You listen to me!
- No, Mr. Stilletto, you listen to me!
593
00:38:05,150 --> 00:38:07,119
Oh, I've, uh....
594
00:38:08,153 --> 00:38:09,712
I've reconsidered.
595
00:38:09,888 --> 00:38:13,984
Now, it's true that I don't know
where Mr. Solo is, but, uh....
596
00:38:15,093 --> 00:38:18,393
But his friend, the, uh....
597
00:38:18,563 --> 00:38:20,156
The blond young man?
598
00:38:20,331 --> 00:38:21,594
[SPEAKS IN ITALIAN]
599
00:38:21,766 --> 00:38:24,326
Yes, well, he does seem
to be working for me.
600
00:38:24,502 --> 00:38:28,303
You'll find him at my warehouse
on the docks.
601
00:38:28,473 --> 00:38:30,271
[YELLING INDISTINCTLY]
602
00:38:30,441 --> 00:38:33,343
The punk is finally talking sense.
603
00:38:33,511 --> 00:38:35,503
The buddy will lead us to Solo.
604
00:38:35,680 --> 00:38:38,081
You're halfway home, sweetie.
605
00:38:45,623 --> 00:38:47,615
[DETONATOR CLICKS]
606
00:38:56,835 --> 00:38:58,326
Hey.
607
00:39:01,439 --> 00:39:04,807
Me and Fingers are gonna drive around
to the block behind the warehouse...
608
00:39:04,976 --> 00:39:07,241
...in case he wiggles out that way, right?
609
00:39:07,412 --> 00:39:08,903
Right.
610
00:39:12,717 --> 00:39:16,620
Oh, Crunch, you, Arnold and Scissors here
go into the joint and flush him out.
611
00:39:16,788 --> 00:39:18,814
I'll be over by the dock.
612
00:39:18,990 --> 00:39:21,619
He gets by you,
I'll make a handicap worker out of him.
613
00:39:21,793 --> 00:39:24,888
He ain't gonna get by nobody, that kid.
614
00:39:33,538 --> 00:39:35,166
CRUNCH:
There he is. That's him, ain't it?
615
00:39:35,340 --> 00:39:36,899
Hey, you, come here!
616
00:39:37,075 --> 00:39:40,443
All right, you punk. Punk, come here.
617
00:39:50,755 --> 00:39:53,919
Hey, fellas, over here.
618
00:39:57,061 --> 00:39:58,085
[CRUNCH GROWLS]
619
00:39:58,263 --> 00:40:01,529
- Now, please, please, you're too old--
- Just one punch.
620
00:40:14,445 --> 00:40:17,506
I'm warning you.
621
00:40:17,682 --> 00:40:21,585
Now, you stay there
or I'll fill you so full of lead...
622
00:40:21,753 --> 00:40:25,053
...it'll take a crane to put you in a coffin.
623
00:40:41,673 --> 00:40:43,141
[PIANO KEYS CLATTER]
624
00:40:43,308 --> 00:40:44,298
Are you all right?
625
00:41:13,271 --> 00:41:15,900
Watch out, it's a pineapple.
626
00:41:28,052 --> 00:41:31,216
Whose grandfathers are all you people?
627
00:41:31,856 --> 00:41:34,655
You got 10 seconds, blondie.
628
00:41:34,826 --> 00:41:38,263
You don't want to be spitting out your teeth
on the ground.
629
00:41:38,429 --> 00:41:42,093
You tell us where your playmate, Solo, is.
630
00:41:42,266 --> 00:41:43,359
Huh!
631
00:41:44,268 --> 00:41:46,499
Good afternoon, gentlemen.
632
00:41:47,739 --> 00:41:49,799
FINGERS:
Good afternoon.
633
00:41:49,974 --> 00:41:51,602
How do you like them grapes?
634
00:41:52,677 --> 00:41:54,873
[LAUGHS]
635
00:41:56,347 --> 00:41:58,942
Who's this guy? This Solo?
636
00:41:59,117 --> 00:42:02,110
Looks like it's going to be
a bad afternoon.
637
00:42:03,421 --> 00:42:04,753
He sure is.
638
00:42:04,922 --> 00:42:07,756
"U.N.C.L.E. Napoleon Solo."
639
00:42:07,925 --> 00:42:09,587
Who's this U.N.C.L.E.?
640
00:42:09,761 --> 00:42:12,424
You got a new racket working
for you, sonny?
641
00:42:12,597 --> 00:42:15,123
And she wants this for her husband.
642
00:42:15,299 --> 00:42:17,894
FINGERS:
Inside the car, punk.
643
00:42:18,569 --> 00:42:21,437
You're going to attend a wedding.
644
00:42:21,606 --> 00:42:23,006
Again?
645
00:42:23,174 --> 00:42:25,905
Course, you don't wanna go, it's okay.
646
00:42:26,444 --> 00:42:29,004
We got a substitute choice.
647
00:42:29,180 --> 00:42:33,515
We wrap you up in one of them
fine concrete overcoats...
648
00:42:33,684 --> 00:42:36,552
...and send you for a swim
in Lake Michigan.
649
00:42:38,122 --> 00:42:39,920
Your choice, punk.
650
00:42:49,801 --> 00:42:51,429
Not you.
651
00:42:51,936 --> 00:42:54,531
- See you.
- I hope so.
652
00:43:02,880 --> 00:43:05,111
Oh, come on now.
653
00:43:06,317 --> 00:43:08,218
Oh, hello again.
654
00:43:08,386 --> 00:43:10,378
Hi, there.
655
00:43:10,555 --> 00:43:13,354
Oh, you are so cute.
656
00:43:14,158 --> 00:43:15,888
You know what I'm going to do?
657
00:43:16,627 --> 00:43:21,156
I'm just going to love you to death.
658
00:43:27,405 --> 00:43:29,397
[SWING MUSIC PLAYING]
659
00:43:49,627 --> 00:43:51,528
FINGERS:
Come on, slugger, let's get that tie up.
660
00:43:51,696 --> 00:43:55,690
- Look, Mr. Stilletto, there seems to be--
- You marry my niece, I'm your uncle.
661
00:43:55,867 --> 00:43:57,665
Call me Uncle Fingers.
662
00:43:57,835 --> 00:44:01,363
All right, uh, Uncle Fingers,
at the risk of being redundant...
663
00:44:01,539 --> 00:44:03,371
...there's been quite a misunderstanding.
664
00:44:03,541 --> 00:44:05,476
Hey, hey, hey, what's that?
665
00:44:05,643 --> 00:44:07,737
What misunderstanding?
666
00:44:07,912 --> 00:44:08,902
[WHISTLES]
667
00:44:09,080 --> 00:44:12,209
Hey, you bums, the bride-to-be.
668
00:44:12,383 --> 00:44:15,444
[CROWD CHEERS AND APPLAUDS]
669
00:44:24,128 --> 00:44:27,098
Oh, Illya, you're awfully attractive.
670
00:44:27,465 --> 00:44:30,629
I mean, I've known a lot of fellows
in college and everything...
671
00:44:30,801 --> 00:44:32,531
...before I joined Thrush.
672
00:44:32,703 --> 00:44:35,798
But, you know, you get tired
of those one-shot affairs.
673
00:44:35,973 --> 00:44:39,068
Besides, they couldn't
hold a candle to you.
674
00:44:39,243 --> 00:44:40,233
[TASER BUZZES]
675
00:44:40,411 --> 00:44:41,435
[SCREAMS]
676
00:44:43,047 --> 00:44:44,811
Yeah.
677
00:44:45,316 --> 00:44:46,306
[SCREAMS]
678
00:44:46,484 --> 00:44:51,422
Look, nephew, in my family,
when you take away a dame's honor...
679
00:44:51,589 --> 00:44:53,820
...it's right you give it back, capiche?
680
00:44:53,991 --> 00:44:55,550
- Yeah.
- And what is she, ugly?
681
00:44:55,726 --> 00:44:58,286
No, she's lovely, Uncle Fingers.
It's backwards.
682
00:44:58,462 --> 00:45:00,522
She's superb, she's beautiful.
683
00:45:00,698 --> 00:45:03,759
And she's still possessed of her honor
as far as I know.
684
00:45:03,935 --> 00:45:06,404
Then shut up.
You're going to get married, period.
685
00:45:06,571 --> 00:45:11,032
Why, half of the crumbs out there haven't
been out of the woodwork for 30 years.
686
00:45:11,209 --> 00:45:13,235
- Yeah?
- But for this...
687
00:45:13,411 --> 00:45:19,373
...for the wedding of the Stilletto Brothers?
Why, you ought to be proud.
688
00:45:19,550 --> 00:45:20,882
I'm not Italian, you know.
689
00:45:21,052 --> 00:45:24,716
It's all right. Try to be proud anyway.
690
00:45:30,861 --> 00:45:33,456
Oh, Strago here, uh....
691
00:45:33,631 --> 00:45:36,567
Are the missiles ready
for transportation, doctor?
692
00:45:36,734 --> 00:45:41,035
Ja, all out here on the wharf. All perfect.
693
00:45:41,205 --> 00:45:42,764
The ship is due in five minutes.
694
00:45:42,940 --> 00:45:46,172
Good, and that U.N.C.L.E. agent, um....
695
00:45:46,344 --> 00:45:50,247
I assume Miss Diketon, um,
is still toying with him?
696
00:45:50,414 --> 00:45:53,543
Ja, she's still toying with him.
697
00:45:53,718 --> 00:45:59,521
Fine. Uh, tell here I don't want him killed,
however painful that may be to her.
698
00:45:59,690 --> 00:46:01,386
And I'll be with you soon, professor.
699
00:46:01,559 --> 00:46:05,655
Right now, however, I have still
another U.N.C.L.E. agent to round up.
700
00:46:05,830 --> 00:46:08,197
Orders from Central.
701
00:46:08,366 --> 00:46:10,597
Take care, professor.
702
00:46:11,235 --> 00:46:13,534
[BAND PLAYING WEDDING MARCH]
703
00:46:13,704 --> 00:46:16,765
[CROWD APPLAUDING]
704
00:46:35,159 --> 00:46:37,151
[PEOPLE CHATTERING IN ITALIAN]
705
00:46:38,829 --> 00:46:41,890
Now or never, yes or no?
706
00:46:42,066 --> 00:46:45,867
You want to get married
or you want to get dead?
707
00:46:47,705 --> 00:46:51,301
Right now, I want my mother.
708
00:46:51,475 --> 00:46:57,005
Now, remember, those old duffers in there
may look harmless...
709
00:46:57,481 --> 00:47:00,610
...but I can assure you
that during the Prohibition days...
710
00:47:00,785 --> 00:47:03,414
...they could have and would have
torn either one of you apart...
711
00:47:03,587 --> 00:47:06,113
...for the price of a cigar.
712
00:47:06,290 --> 00:47:08,691
So be careful.
713
00:47:08,859 --> 00:47:12,296
And, uh, we want Solo alive.
714
00:47:27,478 --> 00:47:29,470
[BAND PLAYING WEDDING MARCH]
715
00:47:38,489 --> 00:47:40,481
[GIRLS SCREAMING]
716
00:47:40,658 --> 00:47:42,320
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
717
00:47:42,993 --> 00:47:44,052
STRAGO:
Right where you are.
718
00:47:44,695 --> 00:47:46,186
Hands up, everyone.
719
00:47:46,364 --> 00:47:50,165
FINGERS: Hey, what is this?
What do you bums think you are?
720
00:47:50,334 --> 00:47:52,667
Oh, Mr. Strago.
721
00:47:52,837 --> 00:47:54,635
Um, Mr. Stilletto, I, uh....
722
00:47:54,805 --> 00:47:59,038
I hope you'll not mind too much,
but I've come to collect the bridegroom.
723
00:47:59,977 --> 00:48:01,673
Mr. Solo.
724
00:48:01,846 --> 00:48:05,180
So you do know him, you liar.
He is your man.
725
00:48:05,349 --> 00:48:07,147
Come on now, Mr. Solo.
726
00:48:07,318 --> 00:48:10,345
You don't really want to get married,
do you?
727
00:48:10,521 --> 00:48:16,051
Well, uh, right now
I'm not quite so sure about that.
728
00:48:16,227 --> 00:48:20,858
Nobody draws on the Stilletto Brothers,
Strago. Nobody.
729
00:48:28,272 --> 00:48:29,604
Down, down.
730
00:48:40,117 --> 00:48:41,415
[GRANDMAMMA SPEAKS IN ITALIAN]
731
00:48:41,585 --> 00:48:43,577
[WOMEN SCREAMING]
732
00:50:02,166 --> 00:50:04,158
[ENGLISH SDH]
53709
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