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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:35,421 --> 00:00:38,761 Emmy, it's your agent Leslie. 2 00:00:38,861 --> 00:00:41,801 Just checking how things are going with those new book ideas. 3 00:00:41,901 --> 00:00:44,801 I know, you're going through... things right now, 4 00:00:44,901 --> 00:00:47,041 but maybe getting back to writing will help. 5 00:00:47,141 --> 00:00:49,521 Anyway, stop ignoring. 6 00:00:49,621 --> 00:00:50,521 Oh! 7 00:00:50,621 --> 00:00:52,121 Say hi to your cousin for me. 8 00:00:54,461 --> 00:00:56,361 Uh, JFK International, please. 9 00:00:56,461 --> 00:00:58,761 - So, where are you headed? - Oh, uh... Australia. 10 00:00:58,861 --> 00:01:00,601 Watch out for them drop bears. 11 00:01:00,701 --> 00:01:02,081 Australia! 12 00:01:02,181 --> 00:01:03,961 Where the hell are ya? 13 00:01:04,061 --> 00:01:06,802 I saw a crocodile this big! 14 00:01:06,902 --> 00:01:08,642 I'm sorry, sir... 15 00:01:08,742 --> 00:01:10,842 Do you mind if we just don't... 16 00:01:33,182 --> 00:01:35,262 The prodigy returns. 17 00:01:36,542 --> 00:01:38,523 Hey... 18 00:01:55,783 --> 00:01:59,323 Emmy! Put the camera down! 19 00:01:59,423 --> 00:02:02,743 Oh, what do you think? Isn't it wonderful? 20 00:02:16,304 --> 00:02:20,684 This is not a traditional memorial service. 21 00:02:20,784 --> 00:02:24,804 This is a celebration of life. 22 00:02:24,904 --> 00:02:27,444 My mother and namesake, 23 00:02:27,544 --> 00:02:28,764 Clementine Jones, 24 00:02:28,864 --> 00:02:31,324 was a force of nature. 25 00:02:31,424 --> 00:02:33,924 Six months after my dad died, 26 00:02:34,024 --> 00:02:35,444 she moved us here. 27 00:02:35,544 --> 00:02:37,844 She'd... she'd only ever grown herbs in a window box 28 00:02:37,944 --> 00:02:39,524 and... and then she bought this farm 29 00:02:39,624 --> 00:02:42,085 and it was rundown and ramshackle 30 00:02:42,185 --> 00:02:44,045 and, uh, and she moved us here 31 00:02:44,145 --> 00:02:46,625 to start over and, boy, did we. 32 00:02:49,145 --> 00:02:51,145 Mom, we will... 33 00:02:51,945 --> 00:02:54,105 all miss you. 34 00:02:55,105 --> 00:02:57,045 To Mom! 35 00:02:57,145 --> 00:02:59,045 - To Aunt Clem. - To Clementine. 36 00:03:02,865 --> 00:03:04,245 I've missed you guys, you know. 37 00:03:04,345 --> 00:03:05,605 Hmm. 38 00:03:05,705 --> 00:03:08,045 I will tell you that if I see a snake, 39 00:03:08,145 --> 00:03:10,565 I'm gonna have to get the hell out of here, though. 40 00:03:10,665 --> 00:03:12,665 OK. 41 00:03:13,425 --> 00:03:14,806 - Snake! - No! 42 00:03:14,906 --> 00:03:16,286 Watch out! 43 00:03:16,386 --> 00:03:18,326 Stop it! 44 00:03:18,426 --> 00:03:20,526 I've had a long day. 45 00:03:20,626 --> 00:03:21,886 That's horrible. 46 00:03:21,986 --> 00:03:23,726 - Give me the champagne. - Oh. 47 00:03:23,826 --> 00:03:26,006 - I've got heels on. - I got you, I got you. 48 00:03:27,626 --> 00:03:30,006 Ooh, it's getting dark. Are you drinking my champagne? 49 00:03:30,106 --> 00:03:31,486 Yeah, you know... 50 00:03:31,586 --> 00:03:35,506 - Hey, don't backwash. - I don't mind it. 51 00:04:09,467 --> 00:04:10,847 Spider. 52 00:04:10,947 --> 00:04:13,007 Spider! 53 00:04:13,107 --> 00:04:15,827 Ohhh! Oh! Oh! Ohh. 54 00:04:29,668 --> 00:04:31,668 No. 55 00:04:32,428 --> 00:04:34,408 N-n-n-no. No. 56 00:04:36,068 --> 00:04:38,208 Why is the rooster in my bedroom?! 57 00:04:39,588 --> 00:04:41,488 Your mum started keeping him inside at night 58 00:04:41,588 --> 00:04:42,688 so he wouldn't crow. 59 00:04:43,908 --> 00:04:45,528 Works like a charm! 60 00:04:45,628 --> 00:04:46,968 Ugh! 61 00:04:47,068 --> 00:04:49,808 I know, right? 62 00:04:58,429 --> 00:05:00,649 - Hey. - Hey. 63 00:05:00,749 --> 00:05:03,049 Oh, you found Clementine's journals. 64 00:05:03,149 --> 00:05:04,329 Yeah. 65 00:05:04,429 --> 00:05:06,889 Some of the ideas in here are just... 66 00:05:06,989 --> 00:05:11,169 Ahh, Clem was a wellness pioneer before that was even a thing. 67 00:05:11,269 --> 00:05:13,089 Herbal remedies. 68 00:05:13,189 --> 00:05:14,689 Animal therapies. 69 00:05:14,789 --> 00:05:18,449 And, uh, naked moonlight dips in a lake filled with yabbies. 70 00:05:19,669 --> 00:05:23,610 I had no idea how wild she was, you know? 71 00:05:23,710 --> 00:05:26,510 She actually swore that could cure anything. 72 00:05:32,150 --> 00:05:35,290 - I know you hate the farm. - Oh, no, no. 73 00:05:35,390 --> 00:05:36,850 I don't hate the farm. 74 00:05:36,950 --> 00:05:38,890 Oh, you have always hated... 75 00:05:38,990 --> 00:05:40,330 - I... No, no. - ..hated... 76 00:05:40,430 --> 00:05:41,770 I hate parts of the farm. 77 00:05:41,870 --> 00:05:43,530 You know, I'm just... I'm... 78 00:05:43,630 --> 00:05:46,970 I'm not a farmy person, which is why I moved to New York. 79 00:05:47,070 --> 00:05:48,370 You know, it's not my... 80 00:05:48,470 --> 00:05:49,570 Hmm. 81 00:05:49,670 --> 00:05:51,390 Have you ever noticed everything around here 82 00:05:51,430 --> 00:05:52,970 is trying to actually kill me? 83 00:05:53,070 --> 00:05:55,331 Um... that's in your head. 84 00:05:55,431 --> 00:05:58,051 No, that... that is a fact. 85 00:05:58,151 --> 00:05:59,371 Hmm. 86 00:05:59,471 --> 00:06:04,991 I just hope somehow we can hold on to the place. 87 00:06:07,151 --> 00:06:09,151 How bad is it? 88 00:06:09,631 --> 00:06:13,051 Your mum took out so many loans and she hadn't paid them off. 89 00:06:13,151 --> 00:06:17,491 She was a genius when it came to a lot of things at Fig Tree, 90 00:06:17,591 --> 00:06:20,211 but when it came to finances, she's... 91 00:06:20,311 --> 00:06:22,311 Stubborn. 92 00:06:23,191 --> 00:06:25,191 Like a mule. 93 00:06:31,032 --> 00:06:33,972 Attention, passengers, flight QL12 to New York 94 00:06:34,072 --> 00:06:36,252 is now boarding at Gate 3. 95 00:06:36,352 --> 00:06:37,892 Ah, you're killing me. 96 00:06:37,992 --> 00:06:40,332 Em, I need those pages. You promised. 97 00:06:40,432 --> 00:06:42,492 Listen, I promise you you will have a book 98 00:06:42,592 --> 00:06:44,332 as soon as I land, OK? 99 00:06:44,432 --> 00:06:46,332 Stop getting so wrapped up in your head. 100 00:06:46,432 --> 00:06:48,332 It doesn't matter what your book is about. 101 00:06:48,432 --> 00:06:50,332 You need to get your name out there again 102 00:06:50,432 --> 00:06:52,332 because I can't do my job if you don't do yours! 103 00:06:52,432 --> 00:06:54,372 Listen to me, Leslie. I will get you... 104 00:06:54,472 --> 00:06:58,172 the pages within 48 hours, OK? 105 00:06:58,272 --> 00:07:01,733 48 hours. Just give me 48 hours and you will have a book. 106 00:07:01,833 --> 00:07:03,893 OK? I promise. Excuse me. 107 00:07:03,993 --> 00:07:06,013 You'd better not be drinking again on this flight. 108 00:07:06,113 --> 00:07:07,613 No. No drinking. 109 00:07:07,713 --> 00:07:08,773 I'm drinking! 110 00:07:08,873 --> 00:07:10,133 Book. Write it. 'Bye. 111 00:07:10,233 --> 00:07:11,573 I'll call you later. 112 00:07:11,673 --> 00:07:12,573 'Bye. 113 00:07:12,673 --> 00:07:14,673 'Bye. 114 00:07:33,034 --> 00:07:34,374 Emmy? 115 00:07:34,474 --> 00:07:35,534 Come on. 116 00:07:35,634 --> 00:07:37,574 See ya, Brissie! 117 00:07:37,674 --> 00:07:40,314 Wouldn't wanna be ya! 118 00:07:41,314 --> 00:07:44,494 We'll grow our vegetables in the soil right here 119 00:07:44,594 --> 00:07:47,254 and we'll get our eggs from the chickens in there. 120 00:07:47,354 --> 00:07:49,174 And our milk from the cows. 121 00:07:49,274 --> 00:07:51,274 But there's nothing out here. 122 00:07:53,554 --> 00:07:55,554 You wanna know what I see? 123 00:07:57,554 --> 00:07:59,554 Possibilities. 124 00:08:01,394 --> 00:08:03,654 Possibilities. 125 00:08:05,115 --> 00:08:07,535 ? You all know you ain't doing nothing with this 126 00:08:07,635 --> 00:08:09,295 ? Let's get it! Come on 127 00:08:09,395 --> 00:08:11,655 ? Go 128 00:08:11,755 --> 00:08:14,015 ? I'm making plays Never leave the game 129 00:08:14,115 --> 00:08:16,735 ? Only do it for the love I don't need the fame 130 00:08:16,835 --> 00:08:18,535 ? I'm making plays Always keep the faith 131 00:08:18,635 --> 00:08:20,935 ? Yeah, we out for the dub I'mma lead the way... ? 132 00:08:21,035 --> 00:08:23,095 Welcome to London & London. 133 00:08:23,195 --> 00:08:25,175 ? Making plays, making plays I'm the man, uh 134 00:08:25,275 --> 00:08:27,375 ? I'm making plays Never leave the game 135 00:08:27,475 --> 00:08:30,135 ? Only do it for the love I don't need the fame 136 00:08:30,235 --> 00:08:32,535 ? I'm making plays Always keep the faith 137 00:08:32,635 --> 00:08:35,215 ? Yeah, we out for the dub I'mma lead the way 138 00:08:35,315 --> 00:08:37,092 - ? I'm making plays... ? - WOMAN: Oh, excuse me. 139 00:08:37,116 --> 00:08:38,616 Just one second. 140 00:08:38,716 --> 00:08:41,096 On the phone to Grisham. Give me five minutes. 141 00:08:41,196 --> 00:08:43,896 Yeah, 'cause you know what he's like. 142 00:08:43,996 --> 00:08:45,536 ? While you fade away 143 00:08:45,636 --> 00:08:47,496 ? I'm making plays Never leave the game 144 00:08:47,596 --> 00:08:49,896 ? Only do it for the love I don't need the fame 145 00:08:49,996 --> 00:08:52,576 ? I'm making plays Always keep the faith 146 00:08:52,676 --> 00:08:55,416 ? Yeah, we out for the dub I'mma lead the way... ? 147 00:08:56,796 --> 00:08:58,576 Oh. Hmm. Hey. 148 00:08:58,676 --> 00:09:00,416 Hope I'm not interrupting anything. 149 00:09:00,516 --> 00:09:01,856 Not at all. Come in. 150 00:09:01,956 --> 00:09:03,216 You look like roadkill. 151 00:09:03,316 --> 00:09:05,176 I feel great! 152 00:09:05,276 --> 00:09:06,336 Jackson! 153 00:09:06,436 --> 00:09:07,776 Mother... 154 00:09:07,876 --> 00:09:11,337 Our sales are sliding past the point I consider acceptable. 155 00:09:11,437 --> 00:09:14,097 Hmm. Which reflects badly... 156 00:09:14,197 --> 00:09:15,897 Badly on our stockholders. 157 00:09:15,997 --> 00:09:16,997 Yeah. 158 00:09:17,037 --> 00:09:18,817 London & London needs new material. 159 00:09:18,917 --> 00:09:22,337 Hmm. Yeah. We do, don't we? 160 00:09:22,437 --> 00:09:25,177 I got it. 161 00:09:25,277 --> 00:09:27,177 Why don't we get all these people out there 162 00:09:27,277 --> 00:09:28,897 that we pay all the money to 163 00:09:28,997 --> 00:09:32,977 to do their job and find us a great novel? 164 00:09:33,077 --> 00:09:36,337 Because I pay you a lot more, for some reason. 165 00:09:36,437 --> 00:09:37,997 - And since I appreciate it... - You do. 166 00:09:38,037 --> 00:09:40,137 If you occasionally did something 167 00:09:40,237 --> 00:09:42,298 that warranted me giving you this office... 168 00:09:42,398 --> 00:09:44,298 You mean the closet with a view? 169 00:09:44,398 --> 00:09:46,878 I'd like you to go find the new material. 170 00:09:51,038 --> 00:09:53,178 Oh, you're serious. 171 00:09:53,278 --> 00:09:54,818 Uh, yeah. 172 00:09:54,918 --> 00:09:56,258 Sure. 173 00:09:56,358 --> 00:09:58,818 Uh... I do have, 174 00:09:58,918 --> 00:10:01,578 uh, a 2pm at Momofuku. 175 00:10:01,678 --> 00:10:03,098 Very important lunch. 176 00:10:03,198 --> 00:10:04,618 But as soon as that's done, 177 00:10:04,718 --> 00:10:06,718 Janet and I will get straight on that. 178 00:10:07,678 --> 00:10:09,678 Was there anything else? 179 00:10:10,678 --> 00:10:11,858 Janet. 180 00:10:11,958 --> 00:10:14,139 Cancel Jackson's 2 o'clock. 181 00:10:14,239 --> 00:10:16,019 He has reading to do. 182 00:10:16,119 --> 00:10:17,939 Yes, Ms London. 183 00:10:18,039 --> 00:10:23,059 Yeah. Disregard, Janet. That was a joke. 184 00:10:23,159 --> 00:10:25,299 Janet... 185 00:10:25,399 --> 00:10:28,459 - it's no joke. - Yes, Ms London. 186 00:10:28,559 --> 00:10:30,059 That was just mean, Ellison. 187 00:10:30,159 --> 00:10:32,159 It's time to grow up. 188 00:10:33,919 --> 00:10:35,919 Hmm. 189 00:10:36,959 --> 00:10:38,959 Don't cancel... 190 00:10:41,239 --> 00:10:43,239 Nothing. All good. 191 00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:56,120 I gotta... I gotta get out of here. That's what I gotta do. 192 00:10:57,120 --> 00:10:59,540 You want to get a pizza or something? 193 00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:01,140 Open up your phone and just... 194 00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:03,240 swipe right. 195 00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:06,300 Hello, Daniel. 196 00:11:18,281 --> 00:11:20,781 What's good in here? Hoo! 197 00:11:20,881 --> 00:11:22,701 You sound like a lady on a mission. 198 00:11:22,801 --> 00:11:25,261 I do? Well, you don't seem like Daniel. 199 00:11:25,361 --> 00:11:26,941 - I'm not Daniel. - No. 200 00:11:27,041 --> 00:11:31,381 - Blind date? - No! Not a blind date. 201 00:11:31,481 --> 00:11:33,701 I-I-I swiped right. Do you mind... 202 00:11:33,801 --> 00:11:36,421 - Oh. - Just a little Dutch courage. 203 00:11:36,521 --> 00:11:37,621 Mm-hm. 204 00:11:37,721 --> 00:11:39,721 Uh-huh. 205 00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:42,241 You are on a mission. 206 00:11:43,041 --> 00:11:44,701 - Agh! Oh! - OK. 207 00:11:44,801 --> 00:11:47,061 What... is that? 208 00:11:47,161 --> 00:11:49,461 - Boulevardier, mademoiselle. - Mmm. 209 00:11:49,561 --> 00:11:52,862 Wow. Did you get that out of an 'Esquire' article or something? 210 00:11:52,962 --> 00:11:54,342 - Yeah. - What? 211 00:11:54,442 --> 00:11:55,702 - I actually did. - Oh, wow. 212 00:11:55,802 --> 00:11:57,018 - That seems so... Yeah. - Yeah. 213 00:11:57,042 --> 00:11:58,942 - Worth the hangover. - Yeah. 214 00:11:59,042 --> 00:12:01,862 Doesn't even matter because my mother, 215 00:12:01,962 --> 00:12:04,222 she had this, um, hangover remedy - 216 00:12:04,322 --> 00:12:06,942 apple cider vinegar and milk. 217 00:12:07,042 --> 00:12:10,102 - And you know what? - Cures a hangover like... 218 00:12:10,202 --> 00:12:13,582 One, two, three. Go! Shoot! 219 00:12:13,682 --> 00:12:15,542 - One, two, three, shoot. - Uh-huh. 220 00:12:15,642 --> 00:12:17,902 Mmm! Mmm. Mmm. 221 00:12:18,002 --> 00:12:19,582 ? You got me like, hey, uh-uh... ? 222 00:12:19,682 --> 00:12:20,582 Ugh! 223 00:12:20,682 --> 00:12:22,383 - Next one, go! - Again? 224 00:12:22,483 --> 00:12:23,503 Oh, my God. 225 00:12:23,603 --> 00:12:25,183 ? Uh-uh, come on... ? 226 00:12:25,283 --> 00:12:26,663 - I feel good... - ..this drunk. 227 00:12:26,763 --> 00:12:28,583 - Oooh! - ? You got me like, hey... ? 228 00:12:30,963 --> 00:12:32,503 - Oh, my God! - I don't dance. 229 00:12:32,603 --> 00:12:34,543 - I love this song. - I really don't dance. 230 00:12:34,643 --> 00:12:36,943 - No, no, no, no. - Whoo! 231 00:12:38,683 --> 00:12:40,383 Back it up. Back it up. Back it up. 232 00:12:40,483 --> 00:12:41,983 - Oh, wow. Yeah. - Yeah! 233 00:12:43,603 --> 00:12:45,143 How could he not love you? 234 00:12:45,243 --> 00:12:48,023 ? I'm blue Da ba dee da ba di 235 00:12:48,123 --> 00:12:50,183 ? Da ba dee da ba di... ? 236 00:12:50,283 --> 00:12:52,983 Where are her shoes? 237 00:12:53,083 --> 00:12:56,864 - OK, yep. Uh-huh. Yep. - Yay. Yep! Spin. Whoo! 238 00:12:56,964 --> 00:12:58,584 - Alright, here we go. - Can't believe... 239 00:12:58,684 --> 00:13:00,064 Ching-ching! 240 00:13:00,164 --> 00:13:03,324 - Oh. - Mmm! Mm. 241 00:13:04,484 --> 00:13:06,984 What? 242 00:13:09,204 --> 00:13:10,824 What is that? 243 00:13:10,924 --> 00:13:12,544 It's ridiculous. 244 00:13:12,644 --> 00:13:14,544 I can't believe you got me so drunk. 245 00:13:14,644 --> 00:13:18,084 - Do you hold your pinkie out? - I do, I do. 246 00:13:19,844 --> 00:13:22,424 That's Daniel, my swipe right. 247 00:13:22,524 --> 00:13:25,864 Oh, God! Oh, God. He's really short. 248 00:13:25,964 --> 00:13:28,305 And also he's an hour late. Two hours later. 249 00:13:28,405 --> 00:13:30,181 - Maybe three hours late! - You swiped right on that? 250 00:13:30,205 --> 00:13:32,305 He's looking over here! Hide me! Hide me! 251 00:13:32,405 --> 00:13:33,745 - Hide! - Hide. 252 00:13:33,845 --> 00:13:35,885 - Ooh! Oh! - Mmm. 253 00:13:37,125 --> 00:13:38,705 Mmm. 254 00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:48,125 - OK. - Hello. 255 00:13:49,965 --> 00:13:51,665 Oh, my God. 256 00:13:51,765 --> 00:13:53,145 - That view! - Terrible, huh? 257 00:13:53,245 --> 00:13:56,625 - Oh... wow. - Terrible view. 258 00:13:56,725 --> 00:13:58,725 Yeah, that... Mmm. 259 00:14:05,126 --> 00:14:06,546 Whoa! 260 00:14:06,646 --> 00:14:08,226 Did you just turn on music 261 00:14:08,326 --> 00:14:09,986 and change the lighting with your watch? 262 00:14:10,086 --> 00:14:12,146 Yeah. 263 00:14:12,246 --> 00:14:14,246 What? 264 00:14:14,966 --> 00:14:17,866 - No, you didn't. You did? - Too much? 265 00:14:17,966 --> 00:14:20,466 No, it's just that... 266 00:14:20,566 --> 00:14:23,626 Does that usually work with all the, um, ladies 267 00:14:23,726 --> 00:14:26,826 you bring back to this perfectly curated apartment? 268 00:14:26,926 --> 00:14:28,866 - I haven't had many complaints. - Wow. 269 00:14:28,966 --> 00:14:32,267 Well, probably not with that sexy Sean Connery accent. 270 00:14:32,367 --> 00:14:34,347 Oh, nobody had a sexy accent 271 00:14:34,447 --> 00:14:35,667 like Sean Connery. 272 00:14:35,767 --> 00:14:37,107 - That's good. - Miss Moneypenny. 273 00:14:37,207 --> 00:14:39,107 Anyway, he's from Edinburgh. 274 00:14:39,207 --> 00:14:40,667 I'm from Carnoustie. 275 00:14:40,767 --> 00:14:42,587 - From where? - Carnoustie. 276 00:14:42,687 --> 00:14:45,187 - Say it again. - Carnoustie. 277 00:14:45,287 --> 00:14:47,107 - Say it again... - Carnoustie. 278 00:14:48,807 --> 00:14:50,787 Mmm. Mmm. 279 00:14:50,887 --> 00:14:52,787 You got any bedrooms in this joint? 280 00:14:52,887 --> 00:14:54,887 - Several. - Let's go. 281 00:15:11,248 --> 00:15:13,488 Yes! He has milk. 282 00:15:39,529 --> 00:15:42,469 Ooh! Hi, babe. Your timing's great. 283 00:15:42,569 --> 00:15:44,869 I just finished the book and now I'm starving. 284 00:15:44,969 --> 00:15:46,969 It's cold out there. 285 00:15:47,849 --> 00:15:50,029 Don't take this personally. 286 00:15:50,129 --> 00:15:51,949 All I got was rejection letters 287 00:15:52,049 --> 00:15:54,469 from the publishing houses that even bothered to reply. 288 00:15:54,569 --> 00:15:57,429 It's just not compelling enough in today's world. 289 00:15:57,529 --> 00:15:59,429 No, no. How is that possible? 290 00:15:59,529 --> 00:16:01,989 My guess is that it's... dated. 291 00:16:02,089 --> 00:16:04,429 I mean, it needs to take place now! 292 00:16:04,529 --> 00:16:05,789 - No. - Yes. 293 00:16:05,889 --> 00:16:07,749 People want a guru, someone they can... 294 00:16:07,849 --> 00:16:09,710 they can emulate in these weird times. 295 00:16:09,810 --> 00:16:12,910 A dead lady can't write a sequel or do a spin-off cookbook 296 00:16:13,010 --> 00:16:15,190 or make TikToks or go on Instagram Live. 297 00:16:15,290 --> 00:16:17,230 I don't want to go on Instagram or make TikToks. 298 00:16:17,330 --> 00:16:18,710 I don't want to be an influencer. 299 00:16:18,810 --> 00:16:20,190 - Yes! You... do. - I just want... 300 00:16:20,290 --> 00:16:22,030 A brand. 301 00:16:22,130 --> 00:16:24,310 If you really want to make this work, 302 00:16:24,410 --> 00:16:28,430 you need to write this book in the first person. 303 00:16:28,530 --> 00:16:31,190 - What? - You become your mother. 304 00:16:31,290 --> 00:16:33,270 It's a slam dunk. 305 00:16:33,370 --> 00:16:35,390 No, no... Uh, but... It's... 306 00:16:35,490 --> 00:16:39,470 I'm so sorry. Let me just... get this straight. 307 00:16:39,570 --> 00:16:43,991 You want me to take my dead mother's memoir 308 00:16:44,091 --> 00:16:46,471 and write it as my own? 309 00:16:46,571 --> 00:16:48,551 That I'm living in the present day? 310 00:16:48,651 --> 00:16:50,031 Yes! 311 00:16:50,131 --> 00:16:53,271 And then the little girl in the book who was me as a child 312 00:16:53,371 --> 00:16:56,111 becomes my pretend daughter? 313 00:16:56,211 --> 00:16:58,791 - Precisely. - OK. Alright. 314 00:16:58,891 --> 00:17:00,891 Yeah, just, uh, hang on. 315 00:17:01,691 --> 00:17:03,631 Do you want to spend the rest of your life 316 00:17:03,731 --> 00:17:05,271 wondering who you could have been 317 00:17:05,371 --> 00:17:07,231 or do you want to get this book published 318 00:17:07,331 --> 00:17:10,591 and save the Emu Fig Creek Farm Springs? 319 00:17:10,691 --> 00:17:12,711 It's Fig Tree Farm in Emu Springs. 320 00:17:12,811 --> 00:17:14,512 And, yes, I want to save it! 321 00:17:14,612 --> 00:17:16,392 Do you guys still take Groupon? 322 00:17:16,492 --> 00:17:19,472 - They never took Groupon. - It's 50% off. 323 00:17:19,572 --> 00:17:21,232 Don't listen to her. 324 00:17:29,932 --> 00:17:31,932 Alright. 325 00:17:32,572 --> 00:17:34,572 If only it were true. 326 00:17:41,412 --> 00:17:42,832 Brrr! 327 00:17:48,013 --> 00:17:49,433 Hmm. 328 00:17:49,533 --> 00:17:51,513 - Ah! - Hello, Janet. 329 00:17:51,613 --> 00:17:53,033 Got my homework? 330 00:17:53,133 --> 00:17:56,113 I think your mother is trying to make a point. 331 00:17:56,213 --> 00:17:58,393 Ohhh... you're joking. 332 00:17:58,493 --> 00:18:00,553 What's this manuscript here everyone's reading? 333 00:18:00,653 --> 00:18:03,433 'Clementine'. I put it on the top for you. 334 00:18:03,533 --> 00:18:05,913 Oh, you're a wee gem, Janet. 335 00:18:06,013 --> 00:18:07,713 A wee gem! 336 00:18:07,813 --> 00:18:09,793 - As you were. - Thank you. 337 00:18:09,893 --> 00:18:11,233 See you, Rachel. 338 00:18:11,333 --> 00:18:13,533 Jim Bob. 339 00:18:17,654 --> 00:18:19,154 Why are they acting so weird? 340 00:18:19,254 --> 00:18:21,514 Crazy dancing is how hens and roosters 341 00:18:21,614 --> 00:18:23,034 know they love each other. 342 00:18:23,134 --> 00:18:24,754 Yuck! 343 00:18:24,854 --> 00:18:28,874 If that's love, I hope I never catch it. 344 00:18:28,974 --> 00:18:32,434 I promise one day you'll change your mind on that. 345 00:18:32,534 --> 00:18:35,514 Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas! 346 00:18:35,614 --> 00:18:37,834 Merry Christmas. 347 00:18:37,934 --> 00:18:39,714 Here's some words of wisdom 348 00:18:39,814 --> 00:18:42,274 from Clementine on the farm. 349 00:18:42,374 --> 00:18:44,234 I don't want to be on camera. 350 00:18:44,334 --> 00:18:45,834 You have to talk. 351 00:18:45,934 --> 00:18:48,434 I'm recording. 352 00:18:48,534 --> 00:18:52,795 - What do you want me to say? - Anything. Just talk. 353 00:18:52,895 --> 00:18:54,915 Well... 354 00:18:55,015 --> 00:18:58,395 here we are one year into our Fig Tree adventure 355 00:18:58,495 --> 00:19:00,635 and I have lots of updates for you. 356 00:19:02,335 --> 00:19:06,515 Perhaps you want to see our very, very delicious vegetables 357 00:19:06,615 --> 00:19:09,075 picked fresh from the garden. 358 00:19:09,175 --> 00:19:12,155 Because you know what I say about good food. 359 00:19:13,335 --> 00:19:14,595 Good food made great... 360 00:19:16,015 --> 00:19:17,355 turns any frown... 361 00:19:17,455 --> 00:19:19,455 upside down! 362 00:19:27,496 --> 00:19:28,716 Hello? 363 00:19:28,816 --> 00:19:31,316 I have London & London on the line. 364 00:19:31,416 --> 00:19:32,796 They want your 'Clementine' book! 365 00:19:32,896 --> 00:19:34,996 - And they want it bad, babes. - What? 366 00:19:35,096 --> 00:19:37,116 My pitch was note-perfect - they even believed me 367 00:19:37,216 --> 00:19:38,996 when I said we were still fielding offers. 368 00:19:39,096 --> 00:19:41,496 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What... what is the offer? 369 00:19:41,576 --> 00:19:43,156 Well, they started at 250,000. 370 00:19:43,256 --> 00:19:44,996 A quarter of a million dollars! 371 00:19:45,096 --> 00:19:46,636 Let's take it! Take it, Leslie. 372 00:19:46,736 --> 00:19:49,396 Are you crazy? You never take the first offer. 373 00:19:49,496 --> 00:19:51,756 - Let me do my thing. - No, no, no, no, no! 374 00:19:51,856 --> 00:19:53,276 I'm putting you on hold. 375 00:19:53,376 --> 00:19:55,197 - No! - Are you still there? 376 00:19:55,297 --> 00:19:57,717 - Still here. - So, I just talked to my client. 377 00:19:57,817 --> 00:19:59,757 And... she wants more money. 378 00:19:59,857 --> 00:20:03,957 250 grand is very, very generous for a first-time author. 379 00:20:04,057 --> 00:20:05,397 Are you kidding me? 380 00:20:05,497 --> 00:20:08,117 This isn't some vampire stiletto airport trash. 381 00:20:08,217 --> 00:20:10,437 We're all on the same page there. Uh... 382 00:20:10,537 --> 00:20:12,317 What's your counter? I need a number. 383 00:20:12,417 --> 00:20:13,877 2 million. 384 00:20:13,977 --> 00:20:15,917 OK. You're not serious. 385 00:20:16,017 --> 00:20:17,597 Oh! Hello? 386 00:20:17,697 --> 00:20:21,477 - We can go to, um, 500,000. - No, no! No, no, no! 387 00:20:21,577 --> 00:20:22,957 Oh! 388 00:20:23,057 --> 00:20:25,033 Tell me what other publishing houses are interested. 389 00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:26,958 - Maybe we can match them. - Oh, my God. 390 00:20:27,058 --> 00:20:29,158 No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no! 391 00:20:29,258 --> 00:20:31,318 No, no, no! Not now! 392 00:20:31,418 --> 00:20:33,478 Listen, London & London are very... 393 00:20:33,578 --> 00:20:34,598 Hello? 394 00:20:34,698 --> 00:20:36,114 Very serious about acquiring the rights 395 00:20:36,138 --> 00:20:37,038 to this book. 396 00:20:37,138 --> 00:20:38,798 I can go to 750,000. 397 00:20:38,898 --> 00:20:41,038 Uh, we are taking other offers, 398 00:20:41,138 --> 00:20:42,838 talking to many other publishers. 399 00:20:42,938 --> 00:20:45,418 Lots of money. We want... We want all the money. 400 00:20:46,418 --> 00:20:50,918 Look, listen, all I can pay maximum is $1 million. 401 00:20:51,018 --> 00:20:53,598 That is a final offer. It's take it or leave it. 402 00:20:53,698 --> 00:20:55,798 - A million bucks? - A million dollars?! 403 00:20:55,898 --> 00:20:58,318 - Who's that? - Take it. We're taking it. 404 00:20:58,418 --> 00:21:00,439 - Wait. So we have a deal? - Deal! 405 00:21:00,539 --> 00:21:05,519 Yes! We have a deal, people! 406 00:21:09,419 --> 00:21:12,119 Whoo! We saved the farm. 407 00:21:12,219 --> 00:21:13,559 Ohh! 408 00:21:21,699 --> 00:21:23,119 Hmm. 409 00:21:23,219 --> 00:21:24,319 Hello. 410 00:21:24,419 --> 00:21:26,639 What happened? 411 00:21:26,739 --> 00:21:28,599 Deal! Deal! 412 00:21:28,699 --> 00:21:30,479 I think Emmy sold her book. 413 00:21:32,860 --> 00:21:33,860 Yes! 414 00:21:33,940 --> 00:21:35,640 Congratulations! 415 00:21:35,740 --> 00:21:37,040 Shut up, Gregory! 416 00:21:43,940 --> 00:21:47,640 Babe... I'm... calling. You don't answer. 417 00:21:47,740 --> 00:21:50,080 Did you... run... here? 418 00:21:50,180 --> 00:21:53,240 - Yes! - What is going on, Leslie? 419 00:21:53,340 --> 00:21:55,240 Ellison London and her son 420 00:21:55,340 --> 00:21:58,680 are coming to Emu Creek Farm Springs for Christmas! 421 00:21:58,780 --> 00:22:00,880 What? 422 00:22:00,980 --> 00:22:02,240 Why? 423 00:22:02,340 --> 00:22:04,321 What is going on? 424 00:22:04,421 --> 00:22:05,721 Did I not tell you about 425 00:22:05,821 --> 00:22:07,921 that little line item in the contract? 426 00:22:08,021 --> 00:22:09,441 Before they close the deal, 427 00:22:09,541 --> 00:22:11,601 London & London has the right to meet you. 428 00:22:11,701 --> 00:22:15,241 With an invitation to Christmas in... in Australia? 429 00:22:15,341 --> 00:22:17,317 Two invitations to Christmas in Australia, actually. 430 00:22:17,341 --> 00:22:19,201 One for you and one for her son. 431 00:22:19,301 --> 00:22:21,041 With you, your husband and your daughter. 432 00:22:21,141 --> 00:22:22,801 I don't have a husband or a daughter. 433 00:22:22,901 --> 00:22:24,521 Or a mother. I know. So sad. 434 00:22:24,621 --> 00:22:25,761 Leslie! 435 00:22:25,861 --> 00:22:28,481 They want the full Emu Farm Springs experience 436 00:22:28,581 --> 00:22:30,561 just like in the book or the deal goes away. 437 00:22:30,661 --> 00:22:32,741 Ooh, pickles! 438 00:22:33,861 --> 00:22:36,942 OK, I want you to look me in the eyes and listen, OK? 439 00:22:38,262 --> 00:22:39,682 I don't do farm. 440 00:22:39,782 --> 00:22:41,442 I can't cook. 441 00:22:41,542 --> 00:22:44,202 I can't even boil an egg. 442 00:22:44,302 --> 00:22:46,882 It's not so bad. You just become your mother for a few weeks. 443 00:22:46,982 --> 00:22:48,482 Tickle a few cows with some suits. 444 00:22:48,582 --> 00:22:50,042 Give them Clem's Country Christmas, 445 00:22:50,142 --> 00:22:51,522 save 'Little House on the Prairie' 446 00:22:51,622 --> 00:22:53,622 and, boom, all your dreams come true. 447 00:22:56,062 --> 00:22:57,522 I... 448 00:23:08,183 --> 00:23:10,243 It's not funny. 449 00:23:10,343 --> 00:23:12,803 It is kind of funny. 450 00:23:12,903 --> 00:23:15,643 I only have a few days to find myself a husband, 451 00:23:15,743 --> 00:23:18,943 a daughter and become my mother, OK? 452 00:23:19,943 --> 00:23:22,363 Jump in. 453 00:23:22,463 --> 00:23:25,123 - I'm not that heavy! - No. 454 00:23:29,183 --> 00:23:30,803 That's new. 455 00:23:30,903 --> 00:23:33,843 Oh, yes, Miles started an online art class. 456 00:23:33,943 --> 00:23:35,843 When you tilt your head to the side, 457 00:23:35,943 --> 00:23:37,483 there's a whole new picture. 458 00:23:37,583 --> 00:23:39,583 Oh! 459 00:23:42,264 --> 00:23:43,564 Ohhh. 460 00:23:43,664 --> 00:23:45,964 Once you see it, can't unsee it, right? 461 00:23:47,744 --> 00:23:50,764 - In the... In the living room? - It's the perfect spot for it. 462 00:23:50,864 --> 00:23:52,604 He's a regular Leonardo. 463 00:23:52,704 --> 00:23:55,084 Painted me like one of his French girls. 464 00:23:56,584 --> 00:23:59,364 First things first, yeah? OK? 465 00:23:59,464 --> 00:24:02,724 I need a husband. David? 466 00:24:02,824 --> 00:24:06,004 Um... I may as well be your sister. 467 00:24:06,104 --> 00:24:07,924 Plus he smirks uncontrollably when he lies. 468 00:24:08,024 --> 00:24:09,760 - You know that annoying smile? - That's true. 469 00:24:09,784 --> 00:24:12,465 - It's a lovely quality. - Alright, alright, alright. 470 00:24:13,665 --> 00:24:15,665 You - what do you say? 471 00:24:16,705 --> 00:24:18,965 - I do. I do! - Yes? Excellent! 472 00:24:19,065 --> 00:24:20,805 No, he doesn't, and he can't. 473 00:24:20,905 --> 00:24:23,165 - Why not? - Oh! So controlling. 474 00:24:23,265 --> 00:24:26,645 Well, you can't push Miles back into the closet. 475 00:24:26,745 --> 00:24:28,445 He's already dealt with his family 476 00:24:28,545 --> 00:24:30,445 and societal expectations. 477 00:24:30,545 --> 00:24:32,885 Two, do you really think that Miles would be convincing 478 00:24:32,985 --> 00:24:35,725 as your husband given how extra you can be? 479 00:24:35,825 --> 00:24:37,965 You think I'm too gay to be straight? 480 00:24:38,065 --> 00:24:39,565 - I think... - What? 481 00:24:39,665 --> 00:24:42,965 I think you've spent years hiding your light 482 00:24:43,065 --> 00:24:44,606 and now that you've let it out, 483 00:24:44,706 --> 00:24:48,006 that wonderful, bright, exuberant light, 484 00:24:48,106 --> 00:24:52,046 I'm just not sure that you have a... dimmer switch. 485 00:24:52,146 --> 00:24:54,086 - I can do this! - Mm-hm. 486 00:24:54,186 --> 00:24:56,326 I can be heteronormative! 487 00:24:56,426 --> 00:24:58,046 - Yes! Yes, you can! - OK. 488 00:24:58,146 --> 00:24:59,446 I can be macho. 489 00:24:59,546 --> 00:25:01,446 I'll be the Hemsworth brother they never had. 490 00:25:01,546 --> 00:25:03,426 - Another one? - Russell Crowe's country cousin. 491 00:25:03,466 --> 00:25:04,926 I believe in you! 492 00:25:05,026 --> 00:25:09,166 My God, you do? This is gonna be so much fun! 493 00:25:09,266 --> 00:25:11,826 - Tea? - Thank you, darling. 494 00:25:12,826 --> 00:25:14,286 Fine. Who am I supposed to be? 495 00:25:14,386 --> 00:25:15,906 Uh, you could be my personal assistant. 496 00:25:15,946 --> 00:25:17,527 - Oh... No. - Mmm! 497 00:25:17,627 --> 00:25:19,083 - Man here to castrate the goats. - What? 498 00:25:19,107 --> 00:25:20,603 Uh... I don't know, travelling salesman. 499 00:25:20,627 --> 00:25:23,127 Really, really, really, really, really, really, really old 500 00:25:23,227 --> 00:25:24,227 foreign exchange student. 501 00:25:24,267 --> 00:25:25,927 - Thank you. - I have an idea. 502 00:25:26,027 --> 00:25:30,087 It is so kooky. It just might work. We tell the truth. 503 00:25:30,187 --> 00:25:32,247 You say he is your cousin visiting for Christmas. 504 00:25:32,347 --> 00:25:33,947 - Great. Fine. Works for me. - Good work. 505 00:25:34,027 --> 00:25:36,927 OK, moving on. Darling daughter. I need a daughter, I need a kid. 506 00:25:37,027 --> 00:25:38,687 Let's rent one. 507 00:25:38,787 --> 00:25:42,607 I can call a talent agency in, like, Brisbane or Sydney, 508 00:25:42,707 --> 00:25:44,567 somewhere like that, and just rent a kid. 509 00:25:44,667 --> 00:25:46,007 I think even stage parents 510 00:25:46,107 --> 00:25:47,727 want their children around at Christmas. 511 00:25:47,827 --> 00:25:49,688 - Yeah. - Ooh. OK. Ohhh. 512 00:25:49,788 --> 00:25:51,408 Uh... I'm... I'm 12 in the book. 513 00:25:51,508 --> 00:25:52,528 - Right? - Mm-hm. 514 00:25:52,628 --> 00:25:55,848 Tweens hate their parents. She ran away. 515 00:25:55,948 --> 00:25:57,328 And you didn't notice? 516 00:25:57,428 --> 00:25:59,208 Poor thing, she could be anywhere by now. 517 00:25:59,308 --> 00:26:02,048 Hmm-hmm-mm-mm. She's at a sleepover. 518 00:26:02,148 --> 00:26:03,568 - Oh! - An extended... 519 00:26:03,668 --> 00:26:07,208 An extended Christmas sleepover. 520 00:26:07,308 --> 00:26:09,528 - It will have to do. - It will have to do. 521 00:26:09,628 --> 00:26:12,248 Now, what are we gonna do about you? 522 00:26:12,348 --> 00:26:14,528 - Hmm. - What do you mean about me? 523 00:26:14,628 --> 00:26:17,128 I grew up here. I know my way around this place. I'm fine. 524 00:26:17,228 --> 00:26:18,848 It's just, uh, your clothes and, uh... 525 00:26:18,948 --> 00:26:20,208 Yeah. 526 00:26:20,308 --> 00:26:22,889 - Your hair. - What's wrong with my hair? 527 00:26:22,989 --> 00:26:24,889 No, he's right. None of this is Clementine. 528 00:26:24,989 --> 00:26:27,169 It's like she needs some sort of farm 529 00:26:27,269 --> 00:26:29,969 boot camp make-under situation. 530 00:26:30,069 --> 00:26:31,769 - Is that a thing? - No, it's not a thing. 531 00:26:31,869 --> 00:26:33,529 - It is now. - No, it's not! 532 00:26:33,629 --> 00:26:35,649 - Let's go shopping! - No, we're not! 533 00:26:39,749 --> 00:26:41,749 Fan out, people. 534 00:26:44,389 --> 00:26:46,389 Hmm. 535 00:26:47,349 --> 00:26:49,349 Hmm. Mmm. 536 00:26:49,829 --> 00:26:50,929 No. 537 00:26:51,029 --> 00:26:52,529 Do I hold one or two? 538 00:26:52,629 --> 00:26:54,010 - Grab it and pull. - Hang on. 539 00:26:55,550 --> 00:26:58,730 - Nothing is coming out. - No wonder she's still single. 540 00:26:58,830 --> 00:27:01,470 I heard that! 541 00:27:03,190 --> 00:27:05,210 It's a little bit 'House on the Prairie'. 542 00:27:05,310 --> 00:27:06,890 Reminds me of 'Poltergeist'. 543 00:27:06,990 --> 00:27:09,190 I think the mum wore something like that. 544 00:27:19,390 --> 00:27:21,570 Ugh! 545 00:27:22,870 --> 00:27:24,870 - Uh-uh. - No? 546 00:27:27,271 --> 00:27:29,771 Joanna Gaines has got nothing on you. 547 00:27:29,871 --> 00:27:31,251 Would your mum have approved? 548 00:27:31,351 --> 00:27:32,891 Is it Aunty-Clem-Christmassy enough? 549 00:27:32,991 --> 00:27:34,651 You know what, it-it-it-it's great. 550 00:27:34,751 --> 00:27:37,211 I just think you need less balls, more bush. 551 00:27:37,311 --> 00:27:40,531 You know, think less gaudy, more... earthy. 552 00:27:40,631 --> 00:27:43,011 - I am allergic to bush. - You know what? 553 00:27:43,111 --> 00:27:45,691 Right now, I'm less concerned about your foliage 554 00:27:45,791 --> 00:27:47,207 and more concerned about your accent. 555 00:27:47,231 --> 00:27:48,571 What's wrong with my accent? 556 00:27:48,671 --> 00:27:50,371 I can still speak Australian if I need to. 557 00:27:50,471 --> 00:27:52,851 Say "Can I have a glass of water?" 558 00:27:52,951 --> 00:27:54,951 Can I have a glass of wa-ter? 559 00:27:55,551 --> 00:27:57,011 - Wor-ter. - Wa-ter. 560 00:27:57,111 --> 00:27:58,292 Wor-ter! 561 00:27:58,392 --> 00:27:59,732 - Wa-ter. - Wor-ter. 562 00:27:59,832 --> 00:28:01,452 What the hell's happening to me? 563 00:28:01,552 --> 00:28:03,392 Well, you've been living overseas for 20 years. 564 00:28:03,472 --> 00:28:04,492 - Footpath. - Paa-th. 565 00:28:04,592 --> 00:28:05,972 Garage, tuna. 566 00:28:06,072 --> 00:28:08,172 Tyu-na. Tu-na. 567 00:28:08,272 --> 00:28:09,852 Chu-na! 568 00:28:09,952 --> 00:28:12,092 - ? More, more, more... ? - Bleurgh! 569 00:28:14,592 --> 00:28:15,772 Ow! 570 00:28:15,872 --> 00:28:18,292 ? I have it, got to have it 571 00:28:18,392 --> 00:28:19,772 ? More, more, more 572 00:28:19,872 --> 00:28:22,012 ? I've got to have it Got to have it 573 00:28:22,112 --> 00:28:23,452 ? Ooh-oh-oh... ? 574 00:28:23,552 --> 00:28:25,492 Mmm. That's perfect. 575 00:28:25,592 --> 00:28:27,812 Yes. And up here. 576 00:28:27,912 --> 00:28:29,452 - Ow! - Sorry. 577 00:28:29,552 --> 00:28:30,733 Just dunk your head in. 578 00:28:30,833 --> 00:28:32,853 There you go. Feels wonderful! 579 00:28:32,953 --> 00:28:35,413 Beautiful. 580 00:28:35,513 --> 00:28:37,289 - ? More, more, more... ? - It's gonna look fabulous. 581 00:28:37,313 --> 00:28:39,133 - ? Got to have it... ? - Ooh! Ahhh. 582 00:28:39,233 --> 00:28:40,773 - ? Ooh-oh-oh... ? - Argh! 583 00:28:40,873 --> 00:28:42,873 Reveal. 584 00:28:43,793 --> 00:28:45,293 Whoa. 585 00:28:45,393 --> 00:28:48,253 A good whoa or... or a bad whoa? 586 00:28:48,353 --> 00:28:51,073 Beautiful. Goddess of the earth. 587 00:28:53,273 --> 00:28:56,353 You look just like her. 588 00:29:07,714 --> 00:29:09,974 Avalon. 589 00:29:10,074 --> 00:29:12,534 - What are you doing here? - I missed you. 590 00:29:12,634 --> 00:29:14,054 Come in. 591 00:29:14,154 --> 00:29:15,974 So you just all of a sudden missed me? 592 00:29:16,074 --> 00:29:18,574 Well, I realised how much I missed you... 593 00:29:18,674 --> 00:29:20,774 when a friend of mine 594 00:29:20,874 --> 00:29:22,854 was at the bar downstairs the other night 595 00:29:22,954 --> 00:29:25,974 and sent me... this. 596 00:29:26,074 --> 00:29:27,694 How could he not love you? 597 00:29:29,394 --> 00:29:31,394 Who's the "Blue da-ba-da-di" girl? 598 00:29:32,034 --> 00:29:33,974 First of all, that's creepy. 599 00:29:34,074 --> 00:29:36,055 Second of all, why do you care? 600 00:29:36,155 --> 00:29:38,615 Aren't you with the tattoo artiste? 601 00:29:38,715 --> 00:29:41,335 He's actually a gui-tar-ist. 602 00:29:41,435 --> 00:29:43,135 - And we're on a break right now. - Oh. 603 00:29:43,235 --> 00:29:46,615 Oh! Going somewhere fun? Need a plus one? 604 00:29:46,715 --> 00:29:48,935 Uh... 605 00:29:49,035 --> 00:29:52,215 I'm going on a work trip to an Australian farm with Ellison. 606 00:29:52,315 --> 00:29:55,335 A farm? But it's Christmas. 607 00:29:55,435 --> 00:29:57,815 Christmas is for nude beaches and umbrella drinks. 608 00:29:57,915 --> 00:29:59,535 Yeah, well, Ellison wants me to take 609 00:29:59,635 --> 00:30:01,055 more interest in the business. 610 00:30:01,155 --> 00:30:03,215 And then when I do, she doesn't trust me. 611 00:30:03,315 --> 00:30:07,055 So, either way, I turn out a disappointment. 612 00:30:07,155 --> 00:30:09,856 Jackie. Jackie, Jackie, Jackie. 613 00:30:09,956 --> 00:30:12,896 I know how much you hate your job. 614 00:30:12,996 --> 00:30:13,896 - Hmm. - Ah! 615 00:30:13,996 --> 00:30:15,896 Do you want me to get you out of it? 616 00:30:15,996 --> 00:30:19,816 - What do you mean? - I could show up in Australia. 617 00:30:19,916 --> 00:30:24,216 Scoop you up and whisk you off to Bora Bora, hmm? 618 00:30:24,316 --> 00:30:26,696 We have fun together, don't we? 619 00:30:26,796 --> 00:30:29,736 Mmm. As tempting as that sounds... 620 00:30:29,836 --> 00:30:32,236 - Hmm. - ..I have to work. 621 00:30:33,236 --> 00:30:34,896 - Oh. - Mmm. 622 00:30:34,996 --> 00:30:36,976 Read the book. It's amazing. 623 00:30:37,076 --> 00:30:40,637 The author, Clementine, she's really fascinating. 624 00:30:41,637 --> 00:30:46,037 Well, you know how much I love to read books. 625 00:30:47,637 --> 00:30:49,617 Wait. Who's Ellison? 626 00:30:49,717 --> 00:30:51,697 Really? 627 00:30:51,797 --> 00:30:54,657 - I'm so sorry, Ms London. - Don't apologise. 628 00:30:54,757 --> 00:30:56,337 Just do better. 629 00:30:56,437 --> 00:30:57,697 Ohh. 630 00:30:57,797 --> 00:30:58,977 Mmm! 631 00:30:59,077 --> 00:31:00,297 What is this? 632 00:31:00,397 --> 00:31:02,697 A gingerbread latte. It's festive. 633 00:31:02,797 --> 00:31:06,337 Do I look like a person who likes festive lattes? 634 00:31:06,437 --> 00:31:07,857 Who doesn't love Christmas? 635 00:31:07,957 --> 00:31:09,457 The only good thing about Christmas 636 00:31:09,557 --> 00:31:11,097 is the uptick in book sales. 637 00:31:11,197 --> 00:31:13,698 Ha! Well, well, well. You made it, Mother. 638 00:31:13,798 --> 00:31:16,738 This 'Clementine' book is the first time in a decade 639 00:31:16,838 --> 00:31:19,578 you've cared about anything that didn't involve craft cocktails 640 00:31:19,678 --> 00:31:21,458 or 4-day weekends - of course I made it. 641 00:31:21,558 --> 00:31:24,218 Well, you wanted a bestseller, I'm giving you a bestseller. 642 00:31:24,318 --> 00:31:26,478 - So... - We'll see. 643 00:31:27,478 --> 00:31:29,338 What end of the plane do you want? 644 00:31:29,438 --> 00:31:31,438 As you like. 645 00:31:35,118 --> 00:31:37,158 It's gonna be a long flight. 646 00:31:57,399 --> 00:31:58,419 Argh! 647 00:32:02,479 --> 00:32:04,619 - Go wake up Emmy! - Oh! 648 00:32:06,159 --> 00:32:08,839 - They're here! - The publishers are early! 649 00:32:09,839 --> 00:32:12,559 - What? - They're here! 650 00:32:14,959 --> 00:32:16,540 They, uh, don't refer to Australia 651 00:32:16,640 --> 00:32:18,640 as God's country for nothin'. 652 00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:20,940 Oh. 653 00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:23,620 Where is my dress? They were supposed to here for dinner. 654 00:32:23,720 --> 00:32:25,780 - Ow! Ow. - Good God! Your hair. 655 00:32:25,880 --> 00:32:27,460 Do you have sparrows nesting in there? 656 00:32:27,560 --> 00:32:29,660 Oh! I've got to go get changed! 657 00:32:29,760 --> 00:32:31,580 I swear to God, Gregory, 658 00:32:31,680 --> 00:32:34,220 you cluck with me this weekend and you'll be Christmas lunch! 659 00:32:34,320 --> 00:32:35,900 Ow! Could you get the dress? 660 00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:38,000 - Just get the dress. - Alright. Alright! 661 00:32:38,560 --> 00:32:40,180 Where the hell is my husband? 662 00:32:40,280 --> 00:32:42,340 Just relax. Be calm. We've got this. 663 00:32:42,440 --> 00:32:44,300 OK, I'm relaxed and calm. 664 00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:45,400 Your accent. 665 00:32:45,480 --> 00:32:47,420 Ah! Relaxed and ca-alm. 666 00:32:47,520 --> 00:32:48,941 - 50% less. - OK. 667 00:32:49,041 --> 00:32:51,401 OK. Relaxed and ca-alm. 668 00:32:52,681 --> 00:32:54,681 OK. 669 00:32:55,081 --> 00:32:57,501 Hello! And welcome to Fig Tree Farm. 670 00:32:57,601 --> 00:32:59,741 Well, you must be our special guest from America. 671 00:32:59,841 --> 00:33:02,501 - From London & London. - Ellison London, CEO. 672 00:33:02,601 --> 00:33:04,581 - I-I-I don't do hands. - Oh! 673 00:33:04,681 --> 00:33:06,941 And this is my associate, Jackson. 674 00:33:07,041 --> 00:33:09,501 Bit formal. Also her son. Hi. 675 00:33:11,161 --> 00:33:13,181 Oh. 676 00:33:13,281 --> 00:33:15,181 It's a little bit funny, actually, 677 00:33:15,281 --> 00:33:17,741 'cause, uh, it's sort of a wild story... 678 00:33:17,841 --> 00:33:19,621 This must be the famous Clementine. 679 00:33:21,762 --> 00:33:23,702 It's so good to meet you. 680 00:33:23,802 --> 00:33:27,302 Yes! Yes, good to meet you too. 681 00:33:27,402 --> 00:33:29,742 I am the famous Clementine Walker, Sr. 682 00:33:29,842 --> 00:33:32,502 It's, um, great to meet you. 683 00:33:32,602 --> 00:33:34,222 I'm so sorry. Come on in. 684 00:33:34,322 --> 00:33:35,322 - Please. - Sure. 685 00:33:35,402 --> 00:33:37,462 - Thank you. - Be our guest. 686 00:33:37,562 --> 00:33:38,942 - We've got your bags. - Thank you. 687 00:33:39,042 --> 00:33:41,018 - Don't worry about it. - Come through. Come in. Hi. 688 00:33:41,042 --> 00:33:42,462 - Hi. - Hi. 689 00:33:42,562 --> 00:33:44,382 David, get the bags, get the bags. 690 00:33:44,482 --> 00:33:47,082 - G'day. - Oh, right in here. Go through. 691 00:33:49,522 --> 00:33:51,802 Please, just make yourselves at home. 692 00:33:52,802 --> 00:33:56,343 Oh, wow! This is beautiful. 693 00:33:56,443 --> 00:33:58,663 I really can't thank you enough 694 00:33:58,763 --> 00:34:00,663 for accommodating us at such short notice. 695 00:34:00,763 --> 00:34:03,183 Oh, well, how could I say no? 696 00:34:03,283 --> 00:34:05,903 Everyone in our New York office is very jealous 697 00:34:06,003 --> 00:34:08,143 we were getting the whole Fig Tree Farm experience. 698 00:34:08,243 --> 00:34:09,263 Oh! 699 00:34:09,363 --> 00:34:10,783 Your book is literally 700 00:34:10,883 --> 00:34:12,339 all anyone's talking about at the moment. 701 00:34:12,363 --> 00:34:14,903 It certainly cost us enough. 702 00:34:15,003 --> 00:34:18,183 I wasn't expecting it to be so warm. 703 00:34:18,283 --> 00:34:19,663 - It is very hot. - Yeah! 704 00:34:19,763 --> 00:34:21,263 That's Australia at Christmas for you. 705 00:34:21,363 --> 00:34:23,303 Carry a fan, that's what I say. 706 00:34:23,403 --> 00:34:24,703 Oh, thank you. 707 00:34:24,803 --> 00:34:26,424 So, have you always had 708 00:34:26,524 --> 00:34:29,484 such an interest in the farming life? 709 00:34:30,484 --> 00:34:32,104 I... Well... I... 710 00:34:32,204 --> 00:34:34,304 - Yes! - Yes. 711 00:34:34,404 --> 00:34:37,424 It's always been in Clementine's blood. 712 00:34:37,524 --> 00:34:39,624 - Mm-hm. Mm-hm. - This must be the husband. 713 00:34:39,724 --> 00:34:41,724 I'm... 714 00:34:42,364 --> 00:34:45,544 Ahh, no. This is my cousin... cousin David. 715 00:34:45,644 --> 00:34:47,104 - Oh! - Yes, yes. 716 00:34:47,204 --> 00:34:49,524 Is something wrong with his face? 717 00:34:50,564 --> 00:34:54,104 He had tooth surgery, uh, just about a week ago. 718 00:34:54,204 --> 00:34:55,704 - Oh. - Last week. 719 00:34:55,804 --> 00:34:57,184 - Oh, no. - It's painful. 720 00:34:57,284 --> 00:34:58,665 Yes, yes, darling. You alright? 721 00:34:58,765 --> 00:35:01,345 - Ouch! Yeah. - Ouch, yes. Very painful. 722 00:35:01,445 --> 00:35:03,665 Sorry, avocados! Ha ha! 723 00:35:03,765 --> 00:35:06,265 I was just taking care of a few things out back. 724 00:35:06,365 --> 00:35:09,185 G'day, g'day, g'day, g'day! 725 00:35:09,285 --> 00:35:10,625 Oh! 726 00:35:10,725 --> 00:35:13,065 That's how you do it in Australia. 727 00:35:13,165 --> 00:35:16,305 - Miles Jones. - Oh, that's quite a grip, Miles. 728 00:35:16,405 --> 00:35:19,465 You working cows all day, you get a strong handshake. Ha ha! 729 00:35:19,565 --> 00:35:20,945 Oooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! 730 00:35:21,045 --> 00:35:22,665 - Alright. How are you? - Hello, darling. 731 00:35:22,765 --> 00:35:24,705 Hello, hello, hel... Ooh! 732 00:35:24,805 --> 00:35:27,465 - Hello, sweetheart. - Ohh. 733 00:35:27,565 --> 00:35:30,846 And, uh, we're missing a daughter, huh? 734 00:35:31,886 --> 00:35:33,386 She's at a sleepover. 735 00:35:33,486 --> 00:35:34,986 Oh. 736 00:35:35,086 --> 00:35:36,666 All... all of Christmas? 737 00:35:36,766 --> 00:35:40,906 It's an extended sleepover with her very, very best friends. 738 00:35:41,006 --> 00:35:42,822 They don't celebrate Christmas. They're Jewish. 739 00:35:42,846 --> 00:35:44,506 - Pagans. - Muslim. 740 00:35:44,606 --> 00:35:47,066 Khan-Kaufmans. Fascinating, uh, family. 741 00:35:47,166 --> 00:35:48,946 Live just a couple of farms over. 742 00:35:49,046 --> 00:35:52,226 Could I offer anyone a Fig Tree Fizz? 743 00:35:52,326 --> 00:35:53,986 - Oooh! - Yeah. Thank you. 744 00:35:54,086 --> 00:35:55,506 Yes! Yes, it's a delicious cocktail. 745 00:35:55,606 --> 00:35:58,186 Um, cousin... David, husband... Miles, 746 00:35:58,286 --> 00:35:59,786 why don't you join me in the kitchen? 747 00:35:59,886 --> 00:36:01,306 Huh. 748 00:36:01,406 --> 00:36:02,547 Struth! 749 00:36:02,647 --> 00:36:04,207 I wouldn't usually step into the kitchen 750 00:36:04,287 --> 00:36:06,827 unless it was to crack open a cold tinnie, eh? Eh? 751 00:36:06,927 --> 00:36:08,927 Yeah. 752 00:36:14,847 --> 00:36:16,927 Something odd about all this. 753 00:36:17,927 --> 00:36:19,307 It's called Christmas. 754 00:36:19,407 --> 00:36:21,507 You just had to mention the Fig Tree Fizz! 755 00:36:21,607 --> 00:36:23,107 I haven't made one of them in years! 756 00:36:23,207 --> 00:36:24,867 I was trying to save the situation. 757 00:36:24,967 --> 00:36:27,267 "G'day, avocados"? 758 00:36:27,367 --> 00:36:29,867 Why should you be the only one who gets to do an accent? 759 00:36:29,967 --> 00:36:31,907 - What voice was that even? - It was Mick Dundee! 760 00:36:32,007 --> 00:36:33,747 Americans love 'Crocodile Dundee'. 761 00:36:33,847 --> 00:36:34,948 I... I... 762 00:36:35,048 --> 00:36:36,908 On the plus side, that Jack guy's pretty cute. 763 00:36:37,008 --> 00:36:39,888 No. No. Listen to me. Listen to me. I've met him. 764 00:36:40,888 --> 00:36:42,348 What? 765 00:36:42,448 --> 00:36:43,508 - In New York. - What? 766 00:36:43,608 --> 00:36:45,708 I've met him. 767 00:36:45,808 --> 00:36:48,108 You 'met him' met him? 768 00:36:48,208 --> 00:36:49,668 Like 'met him'... 769 00:36:49,768 --> 00:36:51,028 - Like you... you... - ..met him. 770 00:36:51,128 --> 00:36:53,028 - What?! - Oh, it was a one-night stand. 771 00:36:53,128 --> 00:36:54,508 - It was nothing tawdry. - Oh, God. 772 00:36:54,608 --> 00:36:56,144 Just two people looking for some companionship 773 00:36:56,168 --> 00:36:58,024 after drinking their body weight in Boulevardiers. 774 00:36:58,048 --> 00:37:00,408 That's why he was looking at you like the world had stopped! 775 00:37:00,488 --> 00:37:02,668 No! He was looking at me like we'd never even met. 776 00:37:02,768 --> 00:37:04,828 Told you we did a fabulous job on her hair. 777 00:37:04,928 --> 00:37:06,248 - Oh, my stars. - Maybe... maybe... 778 00:37:06,328 --> 00:37:07,745 - This is really, really bad. - Maybe it's... 779 00:37:07,769 --> 00:37:08,829 fate. 780 00:37:08,929 --> 00:37:10,629 It's a goddamn Christmas miracle. 781 00:37:10,729 --> 00:37:12,749 Hey, are you two out of your heads? 782 00:37:12,849 --> 00:37:15,349 It's a goddamn Christmas disaster! 783 00:37:15,449 --> 00:37:17,389 He can never know who I am. 784 00:37:17,489 --> 00:37:20,389 Was. Am. We are living in a web of lies. 785 00:37:20,489 --> 00:37:21,829 Guys, this is not... 786 00:37:21,929 --> 00:37:23,869 He has got her frazzled. 787 00:37:23,969 --> 00:37:25,709 - I'm not frazzled! - Ow! 788 00:37:25,809 --> 00:37:28,109 I have got a book to sell and a farm to save, 789 00:37:28,209 --> 00:37:30,509 and if I don't sell the book, we don't save the farm. 790 00:37:30,609 --> 00:37:32,629 So get serious about this, fellas. Get off me! 791 00:37:41,970 --> 00:37:43,550 Oh, God. 792 00:37:43,650 --> 00:37:45,650 Can you pass me that knife? 793 00:37:48,690 --> 00:37:50,150 That's not a knife. 794 00:37:52,050 --> 00:37:54,130 That's a knife. 795 00:37:55,810 --> 00:37:57,190 - Fig Tree Fizz! - Oh, great. 796 00:37:57,290 --> 00:38:00,150 OK. Right. Here we go. 797 00:38:00,250 --> 00:38:02,230 Very special concoction right here. 798 00:38:02,330 --> 00:38:04,710 Won't get it anywhere else in the world. Here you go. 799 00:38:04,810 --> 00:38:05,910 - Thank you. - Lovely. 800 00:38:06,010 --> 00:38:08,010 - Love it. - Yes. 801 00:38:08,530 --> 00:38:11,110 So when do we get to see the rest of the fabulous farm? 802 00:38:11,210 --> 00:38:12,591 Oh, um... 803 00:38:12,691 --> 00:38:14,071 You ever seen a pregnant cow? 804 00:38:14,171 --> 00:38:15,551 - Oh. - Dolly. 805 00:38:15,651 --> 00:38:17,431 She's due any minute. 806 00:38:17,531 --> 00:38:19,151 You will adore it! 807 00:38:19,251 --> 00:38:23,671 It is all fabulously magical witnessing the circle of life 808 00:38:23,771 --> 00:38:25,511 through Dolly's heaving belly. 809 00:38:25,611 --> 00:38:27,751 Miles... darling. 810 00:38:27,851 --> 00:38:29,191 Actually, uh... 811 00:38:29,291 --> 00:38:31,751 I've got some, uh, fences to fix, 812 00:38:31,851 --> 00:38:33,991 some sheep to shear, some paddocks to plough 813 00:38:34,091 --> 00:38:35,391 while you blokes have your fun. 814 00:38:35,491 --> 00:38:36,551 Ow. 815 00:38:36,651 --> 00:38:37,787 Yes, we're gonna have some... 816 00:38:37,811 --> 00:38:38,851 - 'Bye, darling. - 'Bye, hon. 817 00:38:38,931 --> 00:38:40,631 Well, I've got my, uh... 818 00:38:40,731 --> 00:38:43,371 I guess it's just the three of us, then. 819 00:38:48,572 --> 00:38:51,872 So... which one's Dolly? 820 00:38:51,972 --> 00:38:54,032 Uh, the pregnant one. 821 00:38:54,132 --> 00:38:57,072 Dolly! Hey, Dolly girl! 822 00:38:57,172 --> 00:38:59,172 Come to Mama. 823 00:38:59,852 --> 00:39:02,212 - Wait. Isn't that a bull? - Uh... 824 00:39:03,212 --> 00:39:04,992 Wait. Aren't they... both bulls? 825 00:39:05,092 --> 00:39:08,912 No! I think we have stared at bovine genitalia long enough! 826 00:39:09,012 --> 00:39:11,432 Let's go see the horses. Yes? Horses! 827 00:39:11,532 --> 00:39:13,592 Oh, go... go ahead. 828 00:39:13,692 --> 00:39:15,712 I found half a bar. 829 00:39:15,812 --> 00:39:17,713 Oh, don't you just love that... 830 00:39:17,813 --> 00:39:19,993 Oof! ..horsey smell? 831 00:39:20,093 --> 00:39:21,093 Hi. 832 00:39:21,173 --> 00:39:22,873 Hey, what's going on? 833 00:39:22,973 --> 00:39:24,753 - Hey, you. - Oh, wow. That's amazing. 834 00:39:24,853 --> 00:39:26,673 He doesn't usually let anyone but my mum... me 835 00:39:26,773 --> 00:39:28,313 get that close... to him. 836 00:39:28,413 --> 00:39:30,073 What's this big guy's name? 837 00:39:30,173 --> 00:39:33,233 Elton. And this is Kiki. 838 00:39:33,333 --> 00:39:35,073 - Elton and Kiki? - Yeah! 839 00:39:35,173 --> 00:39:38,033 You know, like Elton John and Kiki Dee, famous, uh, duet. 840 00:39:38,133 --> 00:39:40,433 No. I don't think so. 841 00:39:40,533 --> 00:39:42,073 - No? - No. How does it go? 842 00:39:42,173 --> 00:39:43,753 - The duet? - Yes. Sing a bit. 843 00:39:43,853 --> 00:39:45,913 Oh, you want... You want me to sing a duet? 844 00:39:46,013 --> 00:39:47,593 Yeah. A bit. 845 00:39:47,693 --> 00:39:49,234 I'm really... ..not much of a singer. 846 00:39:49,334 --> 00:39:52,594 - No? - Um... Uh... Um... OK. 847 00:39:52,694 --> 00:39:54,954 ? Don't go breaking my heart 848 00:39:55,054 --> 00:39:56,554 ? I couldn't if I tried... ? 849 00:39:56,654 --> 00:39:58,794 - Uh-huh. "Don't..." - I'm sorry. 850 00:39:58,894 --> 00:40:00,514 - Yeah. - I'm not much of a singer. 851 00:40:00,614 --> 00:40:02,394 And I don't really have a lot of tune. 852 00:40:02,494 --> 00:40:04,874 "Go breaking my heart." 853 00:40:04,974 --> 00:40:06,554 Ha ha! 854 00:40:06,654 --> 00:40:08,434 - "Take the weight off of me." - Oh, yeah. 855 00:40:08,534 --> 00:40:10,194 I see what you're doing. You got me. 856 00:40:10,294 --> 00:40:12,854 "Honey, when I knock on your door..."? 857 00:40:15,014 --> 00:40:16,714 "I gave you my key." 858 00:40:21,255 --> 00:40:23,475 I'm sorry. You... you just look so familiar. 859 00:40:23,575 --> 00:40:25,875 I... I feel like we've met. 860 00:40:25,975 --> 00:40:28,755 Oh, no! Uh-uh. 861 00:40:28,855 --> 00:40:30,435 'Cause I live here on a farm and... 862 00:40:30,535 --> 00:40:33,835 you live in, um, New Nyo... New York, New York. 863 00:40:33,935 --> 00:40:35,935 Yeah. 864 00:40:36,895 --> 00:40:38,395 Come on! 865 00:40:38,495 --> 00:40:40,115 Come back, please! 866 00:40:40,215 --> 00:40:41,955 Oh! 867 00:40:42,055 --> 00:40:44,055 Oh, good. 868 00:40:45,615 --> 00:40:47,195 A little help! 869 00:40:47,295 --> 00:40:50,415 A deranged child is trying to kill me. 870 00:40:51,935 --> 00:40:53,076 Hello. 871 00:40:53,176 --> 00:40:54,796 Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! 872 00:40:54,896 --> 00:40:57,216 Who are you people? What are you doing on private property? 873 00:40:57,256 --> 00:40:58,516 Do you know this girl? 874 00:40:58,616 --> 00:41:00,436 Uh, yes, of course I know her. 875 00:41:00,536 --> 00:41:02,916 - I don't know you! - Ha ha! 876 00:41:03,016 --> 00:41:04,596 - Oh, this is the daughter. - What? 877 00:41:04,696 --> 00:41:06,436 The one in your book with the anger issues. 878 00:41:06,536 --> 00:41:08,196 You thought my daughter had anger issues? 879 00:41:08,296 --> 00:41:10,196 She's written that way, no? 880 00:41:10,296 --> 00:41:11,876 Ah, yes, of course it's my daughter! 881 00:41:11,976 --> 00:41:14,276 You will not take that tone with your mummy, young lady! 882 00:41:14,376 --> 00:41:15,996 Now, put that pitchfork down. 883 00:41:16,096 --> 00:41:18,636 These are the guests I told you were coming for Christmas. 884 00:41:18,736 --> 00:41:20,156 You're not my mother! 885 00:41:20,256 --> 00:41:23,196 Oh! Little Emmy took a horse kick to the face 886 00:41:23,296 --> 00:41:24,436 a few years back. 887 00:41:24,536 --> 00:41:25,957 She hasn't been the same since. 888 00:41:26,057 --> 00:41:27,077 I'm Violet. 889 00:41:27,177 --> 00:41:28,597 See? Memory is totally shot. 890 00:41:28,697 --> 00:41:30,033 - Oh. - Quite heartbreaking, actually. 891 00:41:30,057 --> 00:41:32,237 Alright, darling, if you want us to call you Violet, 892 00:41:32,337 --> 00:41:33,517 we'll call you Violet. 893 00:41:33,617 --> 00:41:37,597 - One more step... - You're acting crazy, darling. 894 00:41:37,697 --> 00:41:40,597 I'm not the crazy one, lady! I come here to feed the horses. 895 00:41:40,697 --> 00:41:41,997 Listen to me. 896 00:41:42,097 --> 00:41:44,437 Just go along with it and I'll give you anything you want. 897 00:41:45,817 --> 00:41:46,997 - Like money? - Yes. 898 00:41:47,097 --> 00:41:49,137 Just go with it, OK? Please. 899 00:41:50,737 --> 00:41:52,357 Oh, Mummy, I didn't recognise you 900 00:41:52,457 --> 00:41:55,117 on account of that horse kick to my face a few years back. 901 00:41:55,217 --> 00:41:56,957 - Ohh! - I want the money in cash. 902 00:41:57,057 --> 00:41:59,058 And I want it in writing. 903 00:41:59,618 --> 00:42:03,318 Well, step-dada Miles will be so glad 904 00:42:03,418 --> 00:42:05,358 you came back from your sleepover 905 00:42:05,458 --> 00:42:08,138 and, uh, are spending Christmas with us after all! 906 00:42:09,138 --> 00:42:11,078 Hey! Stop it. Hands off. 907 00:42:11,178 --> 00:42:12,918 - Go on! - Quit it! 908 00:42:13,018 --> 00:42:16,358 - Whose devil child is this? - Hi, Violet. 909 00:42:16,458 --> 00:42:19,158 This is Rita Hay's daughter from two properties down. 910 00:42:19,258 --> 00:42:21,758 - And we pay her to farmhand. - Oh! 911 00:42:21,858 --> 00:42:23,198 Well, your little farmhand 912 00:42:23,298 --> 00:42:24,998 almost blew our entire operation. 913 00:42:25,098 --> 00:42:26,198 - Operation? - Yeah. 914 00:42:26,298 --> 00:42:28,958 There some kind of spy thing going down? 915 00:42:29,058 --> 00:42:31,239 Because I can keep a secret. 916 00:42:31,339 --> 00:42:32,559 I need a drink. 917 00:42:32,659 --> 00:42:34,199 Hey, what's with crazy lady's accent? 918 00:42:34,299 --> 00:42:36,439 - Remember lovely Clementine? - Yeah. 919 00:42:36,539 --> 00:42:37,559 That's her offspring. 920 00:42:37,659 --> 00:42:40,159 Oh, sad sack New Yorker. 921 00:42:40,259 --> 00:42:41,799 Who called me that? Who called me that? 922 00:42:41,899 --> 00:42:44,199 Well, whoever it is, she owes me cash. 923 00:42:44,299 --> 00:42:45,439 Yeah! 924 00:42:45,539 --> 00:42:48,519 Because country bumpkin Wednesday Addams here 925 00:42:48,619 --> 00:42:52,279 now has London & London thinking she's me... her... my daughter, 926 00:42:52,379 --> 00:42:55,439 who should be called Emmy and is now named Violet. 927 00:42:55,539 --> 00:42:57,539 You're the one who said it. 928 00:42:58,299 --> 00:42:59,439 Wait a second. 929 00:42:59,539 --> 00:43:01,519 Could we borrow her for a couple of days? 930 00:43:01,619 --> 00:43:03,640 - Borrow me? - Um... 931 00:43:03,740 --> 00:43:05,340 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 932 00:43:05,380 --> 00:43:08,240 Would your parents mind if you weren't with them for Christmas, 933 00:43:08,340 --> 00:43:10,400 if you were with us, would they miss you? 934 00:43:10,500 --> 00:43:12,560 Lady, I'm number four of nine kids. 935 00:43:12,660 --> 00:43:14,400 No-one would even notice I'm gone. 936 00:43:14,500 --> 00:43:16,840 - Yes! - I'll give her parents a call. 937 00:43:16,940 --> 00:43:18,440 Great. It's settled then. Listen. 938 00:43:18,540 --> 00:43:23,200 Sweetie, all you're gonna have to do is play make-believe. 939 00:43:23,300 --> 00:43:26,480 Pretend that I'm your Australian mummy 940 00:43:26,580 --> 00:43:29,480 and Miles here is your step-dada! 941 00:43:29,580 --> 00:43:31,880 - Do you think you can do that? - Yeah, I can do that. 942 00:43:31,980 --> 00:43:32,980 - Great! - For $1,000. 943 00:43:33,020 --> 00:43:34,040 You're kidding? 944 00:43:34,140 --> 00:43:35,841 You said you could give me anything I want. 945 00:43:35,941 --> 00:43:38,561 I can get a lot of things I want for $1,000. 946 00:43:38,661 --> 00:43:40,561 You are a child, right? 947 00:43:40,661 --> 00:43:42,601 Not a lawyer with a growth deficiency? 948 00:43:42,701 --> 00:43:44,081 I can just go home, you know. 949 00:43:44,181 --> 00:43:46,181 That's fine. You're a little... 950 00:43:47,061 --> 00:43:47,961 500. 951 00:43:48,061 --> 00:43:49,761 - 850. - 550. 952 00:43:49,861 --> 00:43:50,861 700. 953 00:43:50,941 --> 00:43:53,241 Deal. How old are you, anyway? 954 00:43:53,341 --> 00:43:55,921 - I'm 10 and three quarters. - Actually, you just turned 12. 955 00:43:56,021 --> 00:43:58,357 Happy birthday. You're getting a wildly inappropriate cash gift. 956 00:43:58,381 --> 00:44:00,981 Put the hat back on! You look like Oliver Twist. 957 00:44:05,701 --> 00:44:06,962 One... 958 00:44:07,062 --> 00:44:08,922 two... three! 959 00:44:10,302 --> 00:44:12,122 There we go. 960 00:44:12,222 --> 00:44:13,922 Merry Christmas. 961 00:44:14,022 --> 00:44:15,442 - David. - Merry Christmas. 962 00:44:15,542 --> 00:44:16,922 - Darling. - Hi. 963 00:44:17,022 --> 00:44:19,322 Dig in, everybody. 964 00:44:21,462 --> 00:44:24,042 - Want some more salmon? - Thank you, darling. Uh! 965 00:44:26,822 --> 00:44:29,202 Yeah. Lots of chilli, chilli, chillies in there. 966 00:44:32,702 --> 00:44:34,362 Brussels sprouts. 967 00:44:34,462 --> 00:44:36,282 Who would like some more tomatoes? 968 00:44:36,382 --> 00:44:38,122 I've grown them all myself. 969 00:44:38,222 --> 00:44:39,763 - They're lovely. - I absolutely... 970 00:44:39,863 --> 00:44:43,363 It's en... No, no, no. That... that's quite enough. 971 00:44:56,543 --> 00:45:00,723 So, tell me, American friends... 972 00:45:00,823 --> 00:45:02,563 do you, um... 973 00:45:02,663 --> 00:45:05,483 visit the homes of prospective authors 974 00:45:05,583 --> 00:45:07,643 on the other side of the planet often 975 00:45:07,743 --> 00:45:11,444 or is this a... a special occasion? 976 00:45:11,544 --> 00:45:13,884 Just standard business practice. 977 00:45:13,984 --> 00:45:15,244 Oh. 978 00:45:15,344 --> 00:45:17,044 We love to... to see all our authors 979 00:45:17,144 --> 00:45:18,604 before we... we publish them. 980 00:45:18,704 --> 00:45:21,884 Oh, I had to see the Clementine magic for myself. 981 00:45:21,984 --> 00:45:24,564 Yeah. Uh, launching a brand is, uh... 982 00:45:24,664 --> 00:45:26,484 it's a big commitment. 983 00:45:26,584 --> 00:45:30,244 Oh, uh, I'm a... brand now. 984 00:45:30,344 --> 00:45:33,764 Um, yeah, I mean, if everything goes the way we hope it does, 985 00:45:33,864 --> 00:45:37,164 talking about launches in every major market, 986 00:45:37,264 --> 00:45:39,604 social media blitz, the whole kit and caboodle. 987 00:45:39,704 --> 00:45:42,804 Wow! All from... one book. 988 00:45:42,904 --> 00:45:44,645 Maybe even a TV show! 989 00:45:44,745 --> 00:45:48,485 Oh, my son doesn't champion titles often, 990 00:45:48,585 --> 00:45:52,245 so his sudden interest in all things... you... 991 00:45:52,345 --> 00:45:55,245 that's what has me truly intrigued. 992 00:45:55,345 --> 00:45:58,845 Yeah. Listen, it's a very special book, Clementine. 993 00:45:58,945 --> 00:46:02,565 Oh, my God, this is so boring. 994 00:46:02,665 --> 00:46:05,605 Darling! Darling... 995 00:46:05,705 --> 00:46:07,505 Why don't we talk about something interesting? 996 00:46:07,545 --> 00:46:11,145 Like global warming or carbon footprints. 997 00:46:12,625 --> 00:46:14,045 I bet you own a few boats. 998 00:46:15,666 --> 00:46:17,166 - Um... - One. 999 00:46:17,266 --> 00:46:19,726 - And it's a yacht. - Touch�. 1000 00:46:19,826 --> 00:46:22,606 Hey, darling, don't you have homework to do? 1001 00:46:22,706 --> 00:46:24,766 It's Christmas Eve Eve. There is no school. 1002 00:46:24,866 --> 00:46:27,246 - Ah, right, no school. - Oh! 1003 00:46:27,346 --> 00:46:29,566 Look! Mistletoe! 1004 00:46:29,666 --> 00:46:31,086 That's not mistletoe, darling. 1005 00:46:31,186 --> 00:46:33,086 That's a weed. 1006 00:46:33,186 --> 00:46:35,806 You and step-dada should kiss. 1007 00:46:35,906 --> 00:46:38,046 Oh... 1008 00:46:38,146 --> 00:46:40,686 - Oh. - No, we don't have to kiss. 1009 00:46:40,786 --> 00:46:44,886 Don't let me stop you. 'Tis the season. 1010 00:46:44,986 --> 00:46:47,767 Oh, yeah! Ha ha! 1011 00:46:47,867 --> 00:46:50,967 - Get it up ya! - OK. 1012 00:46:51,067 --> 00:46:52,247 Go, Rover. 1013 00:46:52,347 --> 00:46:56,667 Hmm! 1014 00:46:58,827 --> 00:47:00,887 Ohhh! 1015 00:47:02,867 --> 00:47:04,767 Wasn't that lovely? 1016 00:47:04,867 --> 00:47:06,887 You guys are such the perfect match. 1017 00:47:06,987 --> 00:47:10,327 Oh, thank you, darling. Makes us so happy to hear you say that. 1018 00:47:13,667 --> 00:47:17,107 I'm just going to go and check on the cheese platters. 1019 00:47:21,348 --> 00:47:23,348 - Ohh. - Miles. 1020 00:47:24,028 --> 00:47:26,368 - Got it. - Yeah. 1021 00:47:26,468 --> 00:47:28,768 Yes. Go help him, sweetheart. 1022 00:47:28,868 --> 00:47:31,308 Aren't we feeling that Christmas spirit now? 1023 00:47:34,348 --> 00:47:36,768 - Are you OK? - Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. 1024 00:47:36,868 --> 00:47:38,848 - Are you OK? - Yeah. Yeah! 1025 00:47:38,948 --> 00:47:41,888 I just realised, this epiphany, 1026 00:47:41,988 --> 00:47:45,128 that we're living in our favourite movie. 1027 00:47:45,228 --> 00:47:46,888 - 'Beaches'? - No! 1028 00:47:46,988 --> 00:47:48,448 'The Birdcage'! 1029 00:47:48,548 --> 00:47:49,928 - Oh! - It's the same! 1030 00:47:50,028 --> 00:47:51,888 It's like I'm Robin Williams. 1031 00:47:51,988 --> 00:47:53,409 I'm Nathan Lane! 1032 00:47:53,509 --> 00:47:54,889 We need an Agador. 1033 00:47:54,989 --> 00:47:56,329 Oh! Ohh. 1034 00:47:56,429 --> 00:48:00,049 You were very... very masculine out there. It was good. 1035 00:48:25,150 --> 00:48:27,250 Yeah. 1036 00:49:13,791 --> 00:49:15,791 Ohh. 1037 00:49:18,071 --> 00:49:20,191 Oh, wow. 1038 00:49:34,272 --> 00:49:35,372 Whoa! 1039 00:49:35,472 --> 00:49:37,492 Oh! 1040 00:49:37,592 --> 00:49:39,592 What are you...? Ugh! 1041 00:49:41,072 --> 00:49:43,412 Oi! Why did you just tackle me? 1042 00:49:43,512 --> 00:49:45,412 What are you doing here? 1043 00:49:45,512 --> 00:49:47,512 What are you doing here? It's my lake! 1044 00:49:48,672 --> 00:49:50,572 I remembered that bit in your book 1045 00:49:50,672 --> 00:49:52,808 where you were talking about swimming with the yabbies. 1046 00:49:52,832 --> 00:49:54,052 I couldn't sleep. 1047 00:49:54,152 --> 00:49:55,492 - Oh! - Are you OK? 1048 00:49:55,592 --> 00:49:57,532 Yes. Right. That's what I'm doing here too. 1049 00:49:57,632 --> 00:49:59,812 I was very hot. Couldn't sleep. 1050 00:49:59,912 --> 00:50:01,813 And I thought I'd take a swim with the yabbies. 1051 00:50:01,913 --> 00:50:03,513 - I do have one question, though. - Yeah? 1052 00:50:03,593 --> 00:50:05,213 What the hell is a yabby? 1053 00:50:05,313 --> 00:50:08,973 Oh! Well, uh, a yabby is like a cousin to the crab, 1054 00:50:09,073 --> 00:50:10,813 only its parents are also cousins, 1055 00:50:10,913 --> 00:50:12,933 so you don't really talk about it, I guess. 1056 00:50:13,033 --> 00:50:14,773 Oh. Are they dangerous? 1057 00:50:14,873 --> 00:50:16,373 You should work off the assumption 1058 00:50:16,473 --> 00:50:18,693 that everything in Australia is dangerous. 1059 00:50:18,793 --> 00:50:20,133 Sounds fun. 1060 00:50:20,233 --> 00:50:22,233 Ha. Yeah. 1061 00:50:23,153 --> 00:50:26,453 God, that's something your book really doesn't capture. 1062 00:50:26,553 --> 00:50:27,893 - What? - That sky. 1063 00:50:27,993 --> 00:50:31,433 - Look at it. It's amazing. - Ohh. Yeah. 1064 00:50:32,433 --> 00:50:35,454 I forgot how perfect it is out here at night. 1065 00:50:35,554 --> 00:50:38,214 How can you forget? You get this every single night. 1066 00:50:38,314 --> 00:50:40,894 No, I forgot what it must look like 1067 00:50:40,994 --> 00:50:44,934 to someone who's n-never seen it before. 1068 00:50:45,034 --> 00:50:47,254 Yeah, you don't get that in Manhattan, that's for sure. 1069 00:50:47,354 --> 00:50:49,974 Right? Just constant car horns and the smell of urine! 1070 00:50:50,074 --> 00:50:52,294 - Oh, shit! Something bit me! - Ooh, what? What?! 1071 00:50:52,394 --> 00:50:53,774 - Yeah, yeah. - What do you mean? 1072 00:50:53,874 --> 00:50:54,774 - Oh! Oh! - Oh, where? 1073 00:50:54,874 --> 00:50:56,054 Ah! Ah! Everywhere! 1074 00:50:56,154 --> 00:50:57,334 Grab your crotch! 1075 00:50:57,434 --> 00:50:58,814 - Grab your crotch! - What? Why? 1076 00:50:58,914 --> 00:51:01,694 Because once they latch on, they're impossible to get off. 1077 00:51:01,794 --> 00:51:03,574 - What is? - The yabbies! 1078 00:51:03,674 --> 00:51:04,774 Shit! 1079 00:51:04,874 --> 00:51:06,375 Let's get out! Come on! 1080 00:51:06,475 --> 00:51:08,195 - Ow! My neck! - Which way? Which way? Neck? 1081 00:51:08,275 --> 00:51:10,015 No, the other way! Go! Go! 1082 00:51:10,115 --> 00:51:12,115 Yeah. Oh. 1083 00:51:13,275 --> 00:51:15,975 Here. Here. Oh. 1084 00:51:16,075 --> 00:51:17,815 You go first. I can support you. 1085 00:51:19,915 --> 00:51:23,175 Oh, my gosh, was that your hamstring or your pyjamas? 1086 00:51:23,275 --> 00:51:25,375 I don't know. Maybe both. 1087 00:51:25,475 --> 00:51:27,935 - No. I can't... - I've got an idea. 1088 00:51:28,035 --> 00:51:30,215 Don't do it. Don't fall on me. 1089 00:51:30,315 --> 00:51:32,095 Don't fall on me! 1090 00:51:34,355 --> 00:51:36,715 This is worse than the yabbies. 1091 00:51:37,715 --> 00:51:38,856 - Oh! - Ooh. 1092 00:51:38,956 --> 00:51:40,456 OK. Right. 1093 00:51:40,556 --> 00:51:41,556 Feeling the breeze? 1094 00:51:41,596 --> 00:51:43,736 What? 1095 00:51:43,836 --> 00:51:45,936 - Do not look. Just be a gent... - Alright. 1096 00:51:46,036 --> 00:51:47,776 - Please avert your eyes. - I'm not looking. 1097 00:51:47,876 --> 00:51:49,016 I'm married. 1098 00:51:49,116 --> 00:51:50,576 Not looking. 1099 00:51:50,676 --> 00:51:52,376 Don't look! 1100 00:52:01,796 --> 00:52:03,456 What? 1101 00:52:03,556 --> 00:52:04,576 Morning, sunshine. 1102 00:52:04,676 --> 00:52:05,696 Oh! 1103 00:52:05,796 --> 00:52:07,456 Is that a hickey? 1104 00:52:07,556 --> 00:52:08,976 - What? No! - From Jack?! 1105 00:52:09,076 --> 00:52:11,857 - No. It's a yabby welt. - In the bathroom? 1106 00:52:11,957 --> 00:52:13,857 Why are you asleep in the bathtub? 1107 00:52:13,957 --> 00:52:17,497 Uh... because you failed to mention my husband's snoring! 1108 00:52:17,597 --> 00:52:18,977 - Did I? - It's my larynx. 1109 00:52:19,077 --> 00:52:20,617 That's why I'm good at yodelling. 1110 00:52:20,717 --> 00:52:22,537 Yes, he was gifted with a wide larynx. 1111 00:52:22,637 --> 00:52:24,497 No-one likes your larynx, Miles! 1112 00:52:24,597 --> 00:52:26,697 It... it... it... I need to go back to bed. 1113 00:52:26,797 --> 00:52:28,137 Oh. Oh! 1114 00:52:38,917 --> 00:52:41,217 Good, good. Got it. That's good. 1115 00:52:41,317 --> 00:52:42,738 Careful. 1116 00:52:42,838 --> 00:52:44,858 Alright. OK. 1117 00:52:44,958 --> 00:52:47,078 How's it lookin'? 1118 00:52:48,078 --> 00:52:50,698 Oh! Hey! Yep. 1119 00:52:50,798 --> 00:52:52,938 Good and raring and... and ready to go. 1120 00:52:53,038 --> 00:52:55,098 Alright. Let's go. 1121 00:52:56,958 --> 00:52:59,378 OK. Get here. Get... 1122 00:52:59,478 --> 00:53:02,378 This, uh... might surprise you, but I'm not a very good rider. 1123 00:53:02,478 --> 00:53:04,418 I haven't ridden a horse since I was your age. 1124 00:53:04,518 --> 00:53:06,454 - I'm not surprised. - I need some fast reminders. 1125 00:53:06,478 --> 00:53:08,418 OK? Just a few pointers to get me through. 1126 00:53:08,518 --> 00:53:10,378 Say 'yah' a lot and don't fall off. 1127 00:53:10,478 --> 00:53:11,978 - Yah? Yah. - Yah. 1128 00:53:12,078 --> 00:53:14,378 YAH! 1129 00:53:14,478 --> 00:53:16,379 I think you're scaring him. 1130 00:53:16,479 --> 00:53:18,659 I think you need to help me push him or something. 1131 00:53:18,759 --> 00:53:20,759 - Come on. Yah! - I'm not pushing him. 1132 00:53:30,999 --> 00:53:32,999 Nope. 1133 00:53:34,439 --> 00:53:36,959 Hey! Come on. 1134 00:53:40,879 --> 00:53:42,879 Come on. 1135 00:53:46,079 --> 00:53:47,500 Hey. Go. 1136 00:53:50,880 --> 00:53:52,980 Ooh! Come on, horsey. 1137 00:53:53,080 --> 00:53:56,100 Horsey, horsey, horsey. 1138 00:53:56,200 --> 00:53:57,620 Whoo! 1139 00:53:57,720 --> 00:54:00,940 Ooh-ooh-ooh. Whoo! 1140 00:54:01,040 --> 00:54:04,140 - Are you OK? - Oh, yes. I love horseriding. 1141 00:54:04,240 --> 00:54:07,060 This is just my, uh, preferred method of saddle. 1142 00:54:07,160 --> 00:54:10,980 You seem to know your way around a... a horse really well. 1143 00:54:11,080 --> 00:54:13,860 Yeah, well, Mum and Dad divorced when I was young 1144 00:54:13,960 --> 00:54:15,780 and they thought it'd be a great idea 1145 00:54:15,880 --> 00:54:18,980 to whisk me off to the most prestigious boarding school 1146 00:54:19,080 --> 00:54:20,080 money can buy. 1147 00:54:20,121 --> 00:54:21,381 Oh! 1148 00:54:21,481 --> 00:54:23,621 Fit for kings and queens, you know. 1149 00:54:23,721 --> 00:54:25,661 - Well, that's fancy. - Yeah. 1150 00:54:25,761 --> 00:54:27,341 Continue. 1151 00:54:27,441 --> 00:54:29,381 Well, as it turns out, um, 1152 00:54:29,481 --> 00:54:33,381 co-curricular equestrian is actually a rather effective 1153 00:54:33,481 --> 00:54:35,621 undervalued way of meeting girls. 1154 00:54:35,721 --> 00:54:38,261 - Ha! - So when life gives you lemons. 1155 00:54:38,361 --> 00:54:40,361 You become a charming playboy. 1156 00:54:41,161 --> 00:54:42,581 You think I'm charming? 1157 00:54:42,681 --> 00:54:45,761 No. I didn't... say you were charming. I just... 1158 00:54:46,761 --> 00:54:48,341 You know you're charming. 1159 00:54:48,441 --> 00:54:50,601 Oopsie! Hey, now. 1160 00:54:51,761 --> 00:54:54,022 - Oh, wow! Look at the lake. - Oh, yes! 1161 00:54:54,122 --> 00:54:55,902 Come on, come on. Go! 1162 00:54:56,002 --> 00:54:57,822 Yah! Come on. 1163 00:54:57,922 --> 00:54:59,922 Yah! Come on! 1164 00:55:01,522 --> 00:55:03,822 Come on! Yah! Yah! Yah! 1165 00:55:03,922 --> 00:55:06,422 No, no, no, no. Not too fast. Alright. Good! 1166 00:55:09,202 --> 00:55:14,502 God, this place! You can just really breathe here, huh? 1167 00:55:14,602 --> 00:55:16,382 So you're not missing your Starbucks yet? 1168 00:55:16,482 --> 00:55:17,822 Oh, please! 1169 00:55:17,922 --> 00:55:20,342 I get my coffee flown in from Italy every morning. 1170 00:55:20,442 --> 00:55:22,642 Oh. Seriously? 1171 00:55:23,842 --> 00:55:24,842 Come on. 1172 00:55:24,923 --> 00:55:26,583 Ah. Huh! Well, with you... 1173 00:55:26,683 --> 00:55:28,943 I couldn't really ever know. 1174 00:55:29,043 --> 00:55:31,343 No, I was thinking after all this is over, 1175 00:55:31,443 --> 00:55:33,623 maybe I'd buy myself a little farm somewhere 1176 00:55:33,723 --> 00:55:35,983 and get out of that city life for a while. 1177 00:55:36,083 --> 00:55:37,823 I mean, New York must be exciting, though. 1178 00:55:37,923 --> 00:55:39,903 Big business, big publishing. 1179 00:55:40,003 --> 00:55:41,823 - So... - Predictable. 1180 00:55:41,923 --> 00:55:44,263 - Really? - Oh, yeah. What's the phrase? 1181 00:55:44,363 --> 00:55:45,743 You know, on top of every mountain 1182 00:55:45,843 --> 00:55:47,019 there's just another mountain. 1183 00:55:47,043 --> 00:55:51,503 Uh... I don't think that is actually a phrase. 1184 00:55:51,603 --> 00:55:53,263 I think you just made that up. 1185 00:55:53,363 --> 00:55:55,223 Maybe. I might have made that up. 1186 00:55:55,323 --> 00:55:58,024 I don't know. You're the writer. I'm just the disappointment. 1187 00:55:58,124 --> 00:56:00,984 I'm sure nobody thinks you're a disappointment. 1188 00:56:01,084 --> 00:56:02,384 Uh, yeah. 1189 00:56:02,484 --> 00:56:03,824 They do. 1190 00:56:03,924 --> 00:56:06,624 It's OK. I definitely earnt the reputation. 1191 00:56:06,724 --> 00:56:09,424 But finding you... 1192 00:56:09,524 --> 00:56:13,044 that's something very, very good. 1193 00:56:15,084 --> 00:56:16,864 Jack... 1194 00:56:16,964 --> 00:56:19,824 there's something I want to, um, tell you... 1195 00:56:21,164 --> 00:56:22,824 and I think that, um... 1196 00:56:22,924 --> 00:56:24,224 it's important. 1197 00:56:26,564 --> 00:56:28,865 Quick! Dolly's gone into labour! 1198 00:56:28,965 --> 00:56:30,665 What?! 1199 00:56:30,765 --> 00:56:33,265 The bovine's about to blow, love! 1200 00:56:33,365 --> 00:56:35,365 Now?! 1201 00:56:36,125 --> 00:56:38,645 - The bovine's about to blow. - OK. 1202 00:56:42,765 --> 00:56:44,765 Shh, shh, shh, shh. 1203 00:56:48,205 --> 00:56:50,205 Oh. 1204 00:56:50,645 --> 00:56:51,985 How is she? 1205 00:56:52,085 --> 00:56:54,905 You asked for the full Fig Tree experience. 1206 00:56:55,005 --> 00:56:56,545 Uh, Dolly's in pain. 1207 00:56:56,645 --> 00:56:58,665 The calf's legs are twisting. 1208 00:56:58,765 --> 00:57:00,946 But, um, if we all... 1209 00:57:01,046 --> 00:57:02,426 Come here. 1210 00:57:02,526 --> 00:57:05,706 Work together, we can get this part over pretty quickly. 1211 00:57:05,806 --> 00:57:07,826 - Mm-hm. - Alright. Jack. 1212 00:57:07,926 --> 00:57:10,226 You look like you've seen a cervix or two in your time. 1213 00:57:10,326 --> 00:57:12,102 Would you mind joining me at the birthing end? 1214 00:57:12,126 --> 00:57:13,746 Uh... 1215 00:57:13,846 --> 00:57:15,306 Yeah. 1216 00:57:15,406 --> 00:57:17,306 Clementine. 1217 00:57:17,406 --> 00:57:19,306 You are our farm girl. 1218 00:57:19,406 --> 00:57:21,866 - Are your hands clean? - Cleaner than that. 1219 00:57:21,966 --> 00:57:23,826 - Put some gloves on. - Ooh. 1220 00:57:23,926 --> 00:57:25,926 You're gonna have to help me pull. 1221 00:57:28,286 --> 00:57:31,226 God! There's hot steam! 1222 00:57:31,326 --> 00:57:33,427 - OK, we're breaching. - What?! 1223 00:57:33,527 --> 00:57:35,107 Oh, yeah. OK. Here we go. 1224 00:57:35,207 --> 00:57:36,827 Come on. I need you to be hands-in. 1225 00:57:36,927 --> 00:57:38,707 - What? Grab? - That's it. Yeah. Grab. 1226 00:57:38,807 --> 00:57:40,507 - Right. OK, on three. - We're pulling? 1227 00:57:40,607 --> 00:57:42,227 Yeah, yeah, OK. Good. 1228 00:57:42,327 --> 00:57:44,467 - Yeah. You... - One, two, three! 1229 00:57:44,567 --> 00:57:46,587 PULL! 1230 00:57:46,687 --> 00:57:47,787 Oh! 1231 00:57:51,767 --> 00:57:53,707 Oh! Shh. Shh. Shh. Shh. 1232 00:57:53,807 --> 00:57:56,347 - Oh! - Oh! Oh. 1233 00:57:56,447 --> 00:57:58,467 Hello! 1234 00:57:58,567 --> 00:58:00,707 Good girl, good girl. 1235 00:58:00,807 --> 00:58:02,307 Ohh. 1236 00:58:02,407 --> 00:58:04,707 - Wow. - Oh, my gosh. 1237 00:58:04,807 --> 00:58:07,508 - She's so cute. - Hey. How are you? 1238 00:58:07,608 --> 00:58:09,428 - She's so slimy. - Yeah. 1239 00:58:09,528 --> 00:58:11,028 Can I name her? 1240 00:58:11,128 --> 00:58:13,128 Sure. 1241 00:58:13,888 --> 00:58:15,988 Marilyn Moo-roe. 1242 00:58:17,808 --> 00:58:20,588 Marilyn Moo-roe! 1243 00:58:20,688 --> 00:58:24,208 Welcome to Fig Tree Farm, Marilyn Moo-roe. 1244 00:58:32,848 --> 00:58:34,348 That was, um... 1245 00:58:34,448 --> 00:58:36,068 - Really special. - Yeah. 1246 00:58:36,168 --> 00:58:38,169 Yeah. It was. 1247 00:58:38,729 --> 00:58:40,989 Uh, Clementine, I think you've got a bit of... 1248 00:58:41,089 --> 00:58:42,589 afterbirth in your hair. 1249 00:58:42,689 --> 00:58:44,509 Oh! Oh... Ugh! Oh, God! 1250 00:58:44,609 --> 00:58:46,229 No, no. You still look beautif... Fine. 1251 00:58:46,329 --> 00:58:47,849 - Oh, that's so gross! - You look fine. 1252 00:58:47,889 --> 00:58:48,989 It's gross! 1253 00:58:49,089 --> 00:58:51,089 So... What the...? 1254 00:58:57,089 --> 00:58:59,829 Feliz Navidad, party people! 1255 00:59:04,009 --> 00:59:05,149 Surprised, my pineapple? 1256 00:59:05,249 --> 00:59:06,449 Yeah. What are you doing here? 1257 00:59:06,529 --> 00:59:08,829 I'm saving you, like I said I would. 1258 00:59:08,929 --> 00:59:10,110 Huh? 1259 00:59:10,210 --> 00:59:12,066 Did I mention that I still have your card number? 1260 00:59:12,090 --> 00:59:14,190 There may just be like a tiny charge for the car 1261 00:59:14,290 --> 00:59:15,750 and the trip to Bora Bora. 1262 00:59:15,850 --> 00:59:17,670 - The what? - Hi! 1263 00:59:17,770 --> 00:59:20,870 Hello, hello! I'm Avalon, Jack's girlfriend. 1264 00:59:20,970 --> 00:59:22,470 No, uh, not a couple, actually. 1265 00:59:22,570 --> 00:59:24,470 You must be the big-time author! 1266 00:59:24,570 --> 00:59:25,790 Hi! 1267 00:59:25,890 --> 00:59:28,550 Is your farm, like, 'Babe', the pig, the movie? 1268 00:59:28,650 --> 00:59:30,070 Are there pigs? 1269 00:59:30,170 --> 00:59:33,550 Uh... I... Yeah... yeah... No. 1270 00:59:33,650 --> 00:59:36,070 No, there are no... no... no pigs. 1271 00:59:36,170 --> 00:59:38,590 Oh! Bummer. Well, that's too bad. 1272 00:59:38,690 --> 00:59:41,470 You both look so festive in all that black. 1273 00:59:41,570 --> 00:59:44,751 Drinks, anyone? Fig Tree Fizz? 1274 00:59:44,851 --> 00:59:46,511 I am so sorry... 1275 00:59:46,611 --> 00:59:48,071 to intrude, everyone. 1276 00:59:48,171 --> 00:59:50,751 It's just that, um, I really need Jackie's help. 1277 00:59:50,851 --> 00:59:54,671 Um... my grandmother is sick, you see, um... 1278 00:59:54,771 --> 00:59:57,111 - Oh. - Sorry. Sorry. 1279 00:59:57,211 --> 01:00:02,431 Um... she, uh... she ran out of her medication on vacation 1280 01:00:02,531 --> 01:00:04,671 in, um, Bora Bora. 1281 01:00:04,771 --> 01:00:07,951 Uh, and, uh, I have to go 1282 01:00:08,051 --> 01:00:12,031 and I really need, um... really need Jack to come to Bora Bora 1283 01:00:12,131 --> 01:00:13,391 with me. 1284 01:00:13,491 --> 01:00:15,632 If your grandmother needs help, 1285 01:00:15,732 --> 01:00:17,392 I'll call my personal physician. 1286 01:00:17,492 --> 01:00:19,492 It'll be much faster. 1287 01:00:20,492 --> 01:00:24,432 Uh... well, the thing is, um, 1288 01:00:24,532 --> 01:00:27,872 Granny is with her, uh, gentleman friend 1289 01:00:27,972 --> 01:00:32,512 and he, uh, is trying to sell her... her body 1290 01:00:32,612 --> 01:00:34,232 on the Bora Bora black market. 1291 01:00:34,332 --> 01:00:35,992 Awful. 1292 01:00:36,092 --> 01:00:38,392 I'm sorry, I just, um... 1293 01:00:38,492 --> 01:00:40,192 Excuse me for a minute. 1294 01:00:40,292 --> 01:00:42,072 Hmm. 1295 01:00:42,172 --> 01:00:44,512 - Mmm! - Yeah. 1296 01:01:01,933 --> 01:01:03,473 Miles thought you'd need it. 1297 01:01:03,573 --> 01:01:05,113 Oh, thank you! 1298 01:01:05,213 --> 01:01:07,373 I... I do. I need it. 1299 01:01:08,493 --> 01:01:10,473 Is this about that gazillionaire guy? 1300 01:01:10,573 --> 01:01:12,573 That's not even a real number. 1301 01:01:13,373 --> 01:01:15,393 Did you see her? 1302 01:01:15,493 --> 01:01:16,793 Ohhh! 1303 01:01:16,893 --> 01:01:19,454 I mean, she's like... 1304 01:01:20,454 --> 01:01:21,914 perfect, like a... like a... 1305 01:01:22,014 --> 01:01:25,514 like a princess in... Louboutins. 1306 01:01:25,614 --> 01:01:27,614 And you're...? 1307 01:01:28,454 --> 01:01:30,554 Sitting in a pantry stress-eating 1308 01:01:30,654 --> 01:01:32,234 with cow placenta in my hair, 1309 01:01:32,334 --> 01:01:34,154 pretending to be somebody I'm not. 1310 01:01:34,254 --> 01:01:37,954 With a 10 and three quarters 12-year-old. 1311 01:01:38,054 --> 01:01:40,434 Lady, I've known you two days, and on the whole, 1312 01:01:40,534 --> 01:01:43,714 I'd say you're a... whole ice-cream store of crazy. 1313 01:01:43,814 --> 01:01:47,174 - OK, this is really not helping. - But he likes you better anyway. 1314 01:01:48,254 --> 01:01:49,394 You think? 1315 01:01:49,494 --> 01:01:51,435 D'uh! 1316 01:01:51,535 --> 01:01:54,315 Of course he does. Now, go get yourself cleaned up. 1317 01:01:56,055 --> 01:01:57,355 Oh, God! 1318 01:01:59,615 --> 01:02:02,075 That's the way it rolls sometimes. 1319 01:02:02,175 --> 01:02:05,835 There'll be great days, there'll be good days, 1320 01:02:05,935 --> 01:02:10,175 and there'll be bad, not fun, downright ghastly days. 1321 01:02:11,175 --> 01:02:14,635 But if you stay strong and never, ever give up, 1322 01:02:14,735 --> 01:02:19,575 you'll find a way to make even the wildest of dreams... 1323 01:02:24,776 --> 01:02:26,476 a reality. 1324 01:02:35,856 --> 01:02:41,076 ? Oh... oh 1325 01:02:41,176 --> 01:02:42,516 ? Oh-oh... ? 1326 01:02:42,616 --> 01:02:45,796 Oi, Clem, what's the hold-up? 1327 01:02:45,896 --> 01:02:47,636 - I'm here. - Good. 1328 01:02:47,736 --> 01:02:49,636 You're in the back with Jack and Avon. 1329 01:02:49,736 --> 01:02:51,956 - Avalon. - Avon... alon. 1330 01:02:52,056 --> 01:02:55,056 - She looks hot. - I know. 1331 01:03:07,577 --> 01:03:10,237 - So tell me how you guys met. - Mmm! 1332 01:03:10,337 --> 01:03:14,357 Uh, it's, uh... it's not really a very interesting story. 1333 01:03:14,457 --> 01:03:18,077 Stop! It was at Leo's New Year's Eve party two years ago. 1334 01:03:18,177 --> 01:03:20,757 I was working as a brand ambassador for Egg-Vod. 1335 01:03:20,857 --> 01:03:23,157 - Wow. - Uh... what? What? What? 1336 01:03:23,257 --> 01:03:26,197 Oh, cute. Um, it's this eggnog-flavoured vodka. 1337 01:03:26,297 --> 01:03:28,638 You have to act like you like it, sell people on it. 1338 01:03:28,738 --> 01:03:31,598 But you can't let them get too drunk because if they barf, 1339 01:03:31,698 --> 01:03:34,678 then they'll forever associate with the brand. 1340 01:03:34,778 --> 01:03:37,198 - I'm glad I asked. - Mmm. 1341 01:03:37,298 --> 01:03:38,798 It takes real talent. 1342 01:03:38,898 --> 01:03:40,718 Mm. Mm. 1343 01:03:40,818 --> 01:03:43,558 Anyways, um, how did you and Clementine meet? 1344 01:03:43,658 --> 01:03:45,158 I haven't read your book. Sorry. 1345 01:03:45,258 --> 01:03:48,558 - Ahh. - Ohh! Bloody romantic, mate. 1346 01:03:48,658 --> 01:03:50,958 You want to tell this one, Em... Clem? 1347 01:03:51,058 --> 01:03:52,878 - No. I... No. - No? 1348 01:03:52,978 --> 01:03:54,878 True love should be shared. 1349 01:03:54,978 --> 01:03:59,158 Long story short, Clemmy was a reporter from the big smoke. 1350 01:03:59,258 --> 01:04:00,158 Mmm! 1351 01:04:00,258 --> 01:04:01,719 Then she flew on out to... 1352 01:04:01,819 --> 01:04:03,799 Walkabout Creek. 1353 01:04:03,899 --> 01:04:06,319 - I guess. - You did. 1354 01:04:06,419 --> 01:04:09,559 I-I-I-I... I... I did. 1355 01:04:09,659 --> 01:04:12,279 And she asked my mate Wally 1356 01:04:12,379 --> 01:04:15,159 for a guide to show her around. 1357 01:04:15,259 --> 01:04:18,359 - Miles! Darling. - I... was the guide. 1358 01:04:18,459 --> 01:04:21,519 Oh, no, no, no, no. 1359 01:04:21,619 --> 01:04:24,919 No-one wants to hear this boring story. 1360 01:04:25,019 --> 01:04:26,359 Yes, we do! 1361 01:04:26,459 --> 01:04:27,919 - Oh. Yeah, OK. - That's... 1362 01:04:28,019 --> 01:04:29,279 Yeah, OK. Uh... 1363 01:04:29,379 --> 01:04:32,279 Before we knew it, we were chasing buffaloes 1364 01:04:32,379 --> 01:04:34,200 and hunting crocs! 1365 01:04:34,300 --> 01:04:37,360 And somehow in all of that, we fell in love. 1366 01:04:37,460 --> 01:04:41,280 We did, and that's about it. Just fell in love, love, love. 1367 01:04:41,380 --> 01:04:43,480 And it was love, love... love. 1368 01:04:43,580 --> 01:04:45,160 - Deep love. Pure love. - Yes. Mmm. 1369 01:04:45,260 --> 01:04:46,880 Pure like my home brew. 1370 01:04:46,980 --> 01:04:49,240 You know, that... that story just... 1371 01:04:49,340 --> 01:04:51,800 It sounds so familiar. 1372 01:04:51,900 --> 01:04:53,400 Wait. 1373 01:04:53,500 --> 01:04:56,560 Uh... I thought you guys met in a creek. 1374 01:04:56,660 --> 01:04:58,660 Yeah... 1375 01:04:59,540 --> 01:05:00,560 Walkabout Creek. 1376 01:05:00,660 --> 01:05:01,756 Yes! Walkabout... Walkabout Creek. 1377 01:05:01,780 --> 01:05:02,840 - Attention. - Whoa! 1378 01:05:02,940 --> 01:05:04,760 - Oh! Ohhh. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 1379 01:05:04,860 --> 01:05:07,201 - It's our little darling. - That's my girl. 1380 01:05:07,301 --> 01:05:09,041 - Oh, that's our girl. - Attention. 1381 01:05:09,141 --> 01:05:10,601 - Our girl! - Our girl. 1382 01:05:10,701 --> 01:05:12,921 The kids of Emu Springs have a special message 1383 01:05:13,021 --> 01:05:14,201 for all you losers. 1384 01:05:16,301 --> 01:05:18,241 ? Dashing through the scrub 1385 01:05:18,341 --> 01:05:20,761 - ? In a rustic 4x4... ? - EMMY AND MILES: Ohhh! 1386 01:05:20,861 --> 01:05:24,041 - ? Daddy's dodging roos... ? - Aren't you proud? 1387 01:05:24,141 --> 01:05:26,441 ? While Mum heads to the store 1388 01:05:26,541 --> 01:05:28,961 ? Kids are in the back 1389 01:05:29,061 --> 01:05:31,601 ? Swatting blowies left and right 1390 01:05:31,701 --> 01:05:34,441 ? It's Christmastime down under 1391 01:05:34,541 --> 01:05:36,841 ? And the sun is blooming bright 1392 01:05:36,941 --> 01:05:40,202 ? Hey! Jingle bells, jingle bells 1393 01:05:40,302 --> 01:05:42,082 ? Jingle all the way 1394 01:05:42,182 --> 01:05:44,722 ? There's better times for a barbecue 1395 01:05:44,822 --> 01:05:47,762 ? Than a scorching Christmas Day, hey! 1396 01:05:47,862 --> 01:05:50,282 ? Jingle bells, jingle bells 1397 01:05:50,382 --> 01:05:52,722 ? A tinny and your thongs 1398 01:05:52,822 --> 01:05:55,442 ? There's nothing like a cold one 1399 01:05:55,542 --> 01:05:57,322 ? At the Aussie billabong 1400 01:05:57,422 --> 01:06:00,202 ? Hey! Jingle bells, jingle bells 1401 01:06:00,302 --> 01:06:02,082 ? With a tinny and your thongs 1402 01:06:02,182 --> 01:06:04,842 ? There's nothing like a cold one 1403 01:06:04,942 --> 01:06:09,963 ? At the Aussie billabong. ? 1404 01:06:13,063 --> 01:06:15,323 - That's my daughter! - That's our daughter! 1405 01:06:15,423 --> 01:06:17,423 Our daughter! 1406 01:06:23,463 --> 01:06:24,723 Oh. 1407 01:06:24,823 --> 01:06:27,603 Ha! Wow, that was different. 1408 01:06:27,703 --> 01:06:31,683 - Merry Christmas! - Oh. Merry Christmas! 1409 01:06:31,783 --> 01:06:33,783 Merry Christmas! 1410 01:06:35,103 --> 01:06:37,783 Oh! 1411 01:06:38,783 --> 01:06:40,203 - Wow. - Wow. 1412 01:06:40,303 --> 01:06:42,724 'Twas the night before Christmas 1413 01:06:42,824 --> 01:06:44,824 and all through our town... 1414 01:06:45,824 --> 01:06:48,764 no creature was stirring, 1415 01:06:48,864 --> 01:06:51,204 not a roo left around. 1416 01:06:51,304 --> 01:06:53,304 - Not even one? - No. 1417 01:06:54,024 --> 01:06:56,764 And as midnight grew closer, 1418 01:06:56,864 --> 01:06:58,204 we snuggled into bed. 1419 01:07:03,224 --> 01:07:04,644 Ahhh. 1420 01:07:04,744 --> 01:07:07,284 As visions of gumnuts and fairy bread... 1421 01:07:07,384 --> 01:07:09,084 - Shh! Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas. 1422 01:07:09,184 --> 01:07:12,144 Swirled in our heads. 1423 01:07:13,144 --> 01:07:17,405 Then, all of a sudden, what should arise? 1424 01:07:17,505 --> 01:07:21,905 A flash of bright red soared through the skies! 1425 01:07:32,065 --> 01:07:33,725 Aussie Santa was here... 1426 01:07:33,825 --> 01:07:35,825 to make things too right. 1427 01:07:39,385 --> 01:07:41,765 And as he slipped down our chimney 1428 01:07:41,865 --> 01:07:44,005 in his boardies and tights, 1429 01:07:44,105 --> 01:07:48,126 he shouted, "Merry Aussie Christmas to all!" 1430 01:07:48,226 --> 01:07:51,626 "And to all a good night." 1431 01:08:14,626 --> 01:08:16,286 - Whoa! - Whoa! 1432 01:08:16,386 --> 01:08:19,247 - Merry Christmas! - Merry Christmas! 1433 01:08:21,147 --> 01:08:22,487 Thank you. 1434 01:08:22,587 --> 01:08:24,727 - Man alive! - Look at the size of that fly. 1435 01:08:24,827 --> 01:08:26,047 Oh! 1436 01:08:26,147 --> 01:08:28,887 - So... what do you think? - Good job. 1437 01:08:28,987 --> 01:08:31,047 I think you should say something. 1438 01:08:31,147 --> 01:08:33,927 - Like a toast? - Yeah, do a toast. 1439 01:08:34,027 --> 01:08:35,207 Oh. 1440 01:08:35,307 --> 01:08:37,287 - OK. Um... - Come on. 1441 01:08:37,387 --> 01:08:40,007 OK, alright, alright. I just, um... 1442 01:08:40,107 --> 01:08:44,287 Before we, uh, get stuck into all this delicious food... 1443 01:08:44,387 --> 01:08:47,087 - And wine. - And wine. 1444 01:08:47,187 --> 01:08:48,767 I just wanted to say... 1445 01:08:48,867 --> 01:08:51,888 how grateful we are to have 1446 01:08:51,988 --> 01:08:53,528 London & London here 1447 01:08:53,628 --> 01:08:56,608 for a very special Fig Tree Farm Christmas. 1448 01:08:56,708 --> 01:08:58,768 - Ripper! - Ripper is right! 1449 01:08:58,868 --> 01:09:00,008 Uh... 1450 01:09:00,108 --> 01:09:01,848 There really isn't a traditional Australian, 1451 01:09:01,948 --> 01:09:05,568 um, Christmas, pfft, toast - ooh! - I don't think. 1452 01:09:05,668 --> 01:09:08,288 So I'm just gonna make one up, OK? Um... 1453 01:09:08,388 --> 01:09:10,888 Here's to... lunch... 1454 01:09:11,988 --> 01:09:13,408 among the gum trees. 1455 01:09:13,508 --> 01:09:17,208 So may your jumbucks stay jolly and, um... 1456 01:09:17,308 --> 01:09:18,888 The prawn salad's melting, Clem. 1457 01:09:18,988 --> 01:09:22,048 May all your Christmases be bright. 1458 01:09:22,148 --> 01:09:23,609 To Clementine 1459 01:09:23,709 --> 01:09:28,049 and the beautiful world that she created here at Fig Tree Farm. 1460 01:09:28,149 --> 01:09:30,089 May it always prosper. 1461 01:09:30,189 --> 01:09:31,889 - Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas! 1462 01:09:31,989 --> 01:09:33,169 Merry Christmas! 1463 01:09:33,269 --> 01:09:34,729 - Merry Christmas! - Merry Christmas. 1464 01:09:34,829 --> 01:09:36,529 Merry Christmas! 1465 01:09:36,629 --> 01:09:37,629 Whoo! 1466 01:09:37,669 --> 01:09:39,049 Up your bum. 1467 01:09:39,149 --> 01:09:40,649 Up your bum. Phwoar! 1468 01:09:40,749 --> 01:09:42,369 Um, why don't we, uh... 1469 01:09:42,469 --> 01:09:44,769 Sorry. ..move this inside? 1470 01:09:44,869 --> 01:09:46,489 Yeah. Inside. Inside. 1471 01:09:49,989 --> 01:09:51,929 - Alright. Got it? - Yeah. I got it. 1472 01:09:57,230 --> 01:09:59,250 - Whoa! - Winner wears the crown, right? 1473 01:09:59,350 --> 01:10:01,410 Have you ever ridden a kangaroo to school? 1474 01:10:01,510 --> 01:10:02,650 No. 1475 01:10:02,750 --> 01:10:04,370 You look very nice in all that colour. 1476 01:10:04,470 --> 01:10:05,810 It matches your eyes. 1477 01:10:05,910 --> 01:10:07,910 You're actually having fun, Mother! 1478 01:10:08,830 --> 01:10:10,650 Why do Australians hate the word ketchup? 1479 01:10:10,750 --> 01:10:12,750 Why do Americans hate the metric system? 1480 01:10:13,630 --> 01:10:15,690 - Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas. 1481 01:10:15,790 --> 01:10:17,170 Do you really eat Vegemite? 1482 01:10:17,270 --> 01:10:19,770 Or is that just a cruel joke you people play on the world? 1483 01:10:19,870 --> 01:10:20,930 You tell me. 1484 01:10:21,030 --> 01:10:23,170 Where did you get that? 1485 01:10:23,270 --> 01:10:25,090 Oh, sorry. 1486 01:10:25,190 --> 01:10:26,770 - You can have it. - No, you go. 1487 01:10:26,870 --> 01:10:29,651 - Mmm! Yum! Yum! - Have more bread. 1488 01:10:29,751 --> 01:10:32,971 - Oh. Look, you go. - You can have my strawberry. 1489 01:10:33,071 --> 01:10:35,371 There's plenty. May I? 1490 01:10:35,471 --> 01:10:36,651 Yes. 1491 01:10:36,751 --> 01:10:38,411 Ooh-ah! 1492 01:10:40,431 --> 01:10:41,971 Um, can I have this one? 1493 01:10:43,511 --> 01:10:45,171 That was absolutely the worst throw 1494 01:10:45,271 --> 01:10:46,851 I've ever seen in my life. 1495 01:10:46,951 --> 01:10:50,051 You're the worst catcher. Try again. Ooh! 1496 01:10:50,151 --> 01:10:51,491 You're trying to break my teeth. 1497 01:10:51,591 --> 01:10:53,591 - That was close. - Another go. 1498 01:10:53,911 --> 01:10:55,731 - Oh! - Anyone need more plonk? 1499 01:10:55,831 --> 01:10:59,371 - Plonk? - Plonk. Alcohol. A drink, love. 1500 01:10:59,471 --> 01:11:02,292 Oh! I can't. I'm so tiny. 1501 01:11:02,392 --> 01:11:04,332 I'll be so hungover. 1502 01:11:04,432 --> 01:11:07,652 Well, we could always use Clemmy's old hangover cure. 1503 01:11:07,752 --> 01:11:09,332 Oh, yeah, vinegar and milk! 1504 01:11:09,432 --> 01:11:13,852 That'll stop you from wanting to drink ever again! 1505 01:11:13,952 --> 01:11:15,492 Vinegar and milk? 1506 01:11:15,592 --> 01:11:18,092 I met a woman recently in New York 1507 01:11:18,192 --> 01:11:20,492 and that was her remedy as well. 1508 01:11:20,592 --> 01:11:22,532 What a coincidence! 1509 01:11:22,632 --> 01:11:24,872 Whoa! You met a woman? 1510 01:11:25,912 --> 01:11:27,912 Which woman, Jack? 1511 01:11:30,312 --> 01:11:33,773 Hey, why don't we have a game of Christmas charades? 1512 01:11:33,873 --> 01:11:34,973 Hey! 1513 01:11:35,073 --> 01:11:36,973 Um, OK. 1514 01:11:37,073 --> 01:11:40,133 - Um, two words. Uh... movie. - OK. 1515 01:11:40,233 --> 01:11:42,233 'Now I See You'. 1516 01:11:42,833 --> 01:11:46,933 I know, 'cause it's right there. There. 1517 01:11:47,033 --> 01:11:49,033 You're the "Blue da-ba-da-di" girl. 1518 01:11:49,713 --> 01:11:51,893 I know a bad dye job when I see one. 1519 01:11:51,993 --> 01:11:54,453 Maybe the men don't have the eyes. 1520 01:11:54,553 --> 01:11:56,093 But I see. 1521 01:11:56,193 --> 01:11:58,893 But I'm not blonde. So... 1522 01:11:58,993 --> 01:12:00,293 What about poor Miles? 1523 01:12:00,393 --> 01:12:02,573 Isn't that your wife with my boyfriend? 1524 01:12:02,673 --> 01:12:04,814 - I'm not your boyfriend! - Oh. 1525 01:12:04,914 --> 01:12:06,914 And she's not his wife. 1526 01:12:08,114 --> 01:12:09,934 - You two are a couple. - What? 1527 01:12:10,034 --> 01:12:13,334 Miles, I saw you. You were grabbing David's ass. 1528 01:12:13,434 --> 01:12:15,974 I was actually thinking it was a weird throuple situation. 1529 01:12:16,074 --> 01:12:17,894 - Oh, my... - How ridiculous. 1530 01:12:17,994 --> 01:12:19,574 - Ridiculous! - I am her hubby. 1531 01:12:19,674 --> 01:12:22,374 - Yes, he is. - Oh, give it away, guys. 1532 01:12:22,474 --> 01:12:25,114 Come on. Who the hell are you, really? 1533 01:12:27,954 --> 01:12:29,954 I'm sorry, Jack. 1534 01:12:30,674 --> 01:12:33,454 She's the magical Clementine Jones 1535 01:12:33,554 --> 01:12:36,334 and you bid a million dollars on her book. 1536 01:12:36,434 --> 01:12:39,535 Yeah, I did. But she's not. 1537 01:12:39,635 --> 01:12:41,295 Technically, 1538 01:12:41,395 --> 01:12:45,135 I did... I did grow up here on Fig... Tree Farm, 1539 01:12:45,235 --> 01:12:49,055 but... my mum created all of this, not me, 1540 01:12:49,155 --> 01:12:53,695 and... and the books are... well, from her j... journals. 1541 01:12:53,795 --> 01:12:57,815 Mm-hm. I knew your accent sounded kinda fishy. 1542 01:12:57,915 --> 01:13:00,015 Because, like, who the hell talks like they're on 1543 01:13:00,115 --> 01:13:01,971 'Downtown Abbey' when they live in the frickin' outback? 1544 01:13:01,995 --> 01:13:04,655 - It's 'Downton Abbey'. - And who's this? 1545 01:13:04,755 --> 01:13:06,755 Uh... 1546 01:13:07,555 --> 01:13:09,776 We borrowed Violet. She's not really my daughter. 1547 01:13:09,876 --> 01:13:11,296 Rented, actually. 1548 01:13:11,396 --> 01:13:13,176 Rented her. 1549 01:13:13,276 --> 01:13:14,496 I feel sick. 1550 01:13:14,596 --> 01:13:15,856 You feel sick? 1551 01:13:15,956 --> 01:13:17,576 Samesies. 1552 01:13:17,676 --> 01:13:19,416 I'm sorry, Jack. 1553 01:13:19,516 --> 01:13:22,436 Yeah, you're sorry. You're sorry. 1554 01:13:23,436 --> 01:13:25,336 - As long as you're sorry. Yeah. - Not... 1555 01:13:25,436 --> 01:13:27,956 Sorry. Mum, she's sorry. That's good. Yeah. 1556 01:13:31,796 --> 01:13:33,656 Jack. 1557 01:13:36,116 --> 01:13:37,696 Hey. 1558 01:13:37,796 --> 01:13:40,136 The little girl from the book, right? 1559 01:13:40,236 --> 01:13:41,537 Yeah. 1560 01:13:41,637 --> 01:13:44,217 Have you any idea how many people I have working on you 1561 01:13:44,317 --> 01:13:47,737 and this book and your social engagements? 1562 01:13:47,837 --> 01:13:50,213 What do you think's gonna happen when they find out little Clem 1563 01:13:50,237 --> 01:13:52,777 they've fallen in love with in the book is just a complete... 1564 01:13:52,877 --> 01:13:55,017 - A fraud. - Heh. 1565 01:13:55,117 --> 01:13:57,117 Was any of this real? 1566 01:13:59,957 --> 01:14:01,857 I suppose that was no chance encounter 1567 01:14:01,957 --> 01:14:03,337 we had in Manhattan either. 1568 01:14:03,437 --> 01:14:04,857 All part of your little plan, hmm? 1569 01:14:04,957 --> 01:14:09,977 No, no. That was... ..fate, maybe. I don't know. 1570 01:14:10,077 --> 01:14:13,738 I could never have known that you were going to be the guy 1571 01:14:13,838 --> 01:14:15,338 who bought the book. 1572 01:14:16,518 --> 01:14:19,098 I had no idea until you showed up here. 1573 01:14:19,198 --> 01:14:20,978 I don't know what to believe. 1574 01:14:21,078 --> 01:14:23,078 It's just like... 1575 01:14:23,558 --> 01:14:25,698 Jackson. 1576 01:14:25,798 --> 01:14:27,798 Time to go. 1577 01:14:29,078 --> 01:14:30,498 Oh... 1578 01:14:40,398 --> 01:14:42,918 What is in here? 1579 01:14:44,278 --> 01:14:46,279 Get in. 1580 01:14:49,439 --> 01:14:52,579 You be good to your mama, OK? 1581 01:14:52,679 --> 01:14:54,919 You only get one. 1582 01:15:00,159 --> 01:15:02,159 Hi. 1583 01:15:02,599 --> 01:15:04,219 The fancy people are leaving. 1584 01:15:04,319 --> 01:15:05,939 You're gonna let him drive outta here? 1585 01:15:06,039 --> 01:15:07,579 You can't just give up. 1586 01:15:07,679 --> 01:15:10,419 You always find a solution, Em. 1587 01:15:10,519 --> 01:15:13,299 He hates me and rightly so. 1588 01:15:13,399 --> 01:15:15,979 I messed it all up. I messed it all up. 1589 01:15:16,079 --> 01:15:18,340 No. Come here. Shh. 1590 01:15:18,440 --> 01:15:20,620 I know you don't want to hear this, 1591 01:15:20,720 --> 01:15:24,980 but I wouldn't be your best friend if I didn't say it. 1592 01:15:25,080 --> 01:15:26,820 Yeah. 1593 01:15:26,920 --> 01:15:28,980 What would Clementine do? 1594 01:15:33,480 --> 01:15:35,660 She'd tell me to chase my dreams. 1595 01:15:35,760 --> 01:15:36,860 Yeah. 1596 01:15:36,960 --> 01:15:38,960 That's your answer. 1597 01:15:39,560 --> 01:15:41,500 I just miss her so much. 1598 01:15:41,600 --> 01:15:42,620 I know. 1599 01:15:42,720 --> 01:15:43,720 Ohh. 1600 01:15:43,800 --> 01:15:45,620 - We all miss her, honey. - Mmm. 1601 01:15:45,720 --> 01:15:47,720 Every minute, every day. 1602 01:15:48,760 --> 01:15:51,061 Ahh. OK. 1603 01:15:51,161 --> 01:15:53,741 Oh, I've got make-up all over my face. 1604 01:15:53,841 --> 01:15:55,701 Do I smell like cow? 1605 01:15:55,801 --> 01:15:57,141 - Yeah. - Yes. 1606 01:15:57,241 --> 01:15:59,261 Thanks, Marilyn. 1607 01:15:59,361 --> 01:16:00,741 What are we waiting for? 1608 01:16:00,841 --> 01:16:02,021 Christmas? 1609 01:16:02,121 --> 01:16:03,221 Come on. 1610 01:16:03,321 --> 01:16:04,941 Come on! 1611 01:16:05,041 --> 01:16:07,861 - This is crazy! - Come on, let's go! 1612 01:16:07,961 --> 01:16:09,701 Good luck! 1613 01:16:13,241 --> 01:16:15,241 Whoo! 1614 01:16:18,161 --> 01:16:20,061 - Come on! - OK! 1615 01:16:20,161 --> 01:16:21,501 - Miles! - Yes! 1616 01:16:21,601 --> 01:16:22,742 Come on! 1617 01:16:22,842 --> 01:16:24,982 We're coming for you, Jack! 1618 01:16:25,082 --> 01:16:26,822 I don't know about you people, 1619 01:16:26,922 --> 01:16:29,622 but I am so ready for a pi�a colada 1620 01:16:29,722 --> 01:16:32,662 and a beach and a massage. 1621 01:16:32,762 --> 01:16:35,822 Oh, you should see the resort. It's so beautiful. 1622 01:16:35,922 --> 01:16:37,922 You're gonna love it. 1623 01:16:39,762 --> 01:16:41,382 Ahhhhh! 1624 01:16:41,482 --> 01:16:45,102 Oh, my gosh. This psycho does not stop! 1625 01:16:45,202 --> 01:16:47,462 Pull over! 1626 01:16:49,322 --> 01:16:50,762 Avalon, where'd you get your licence? 1627 01:16:50,802 --> 01:16:53,222 - For Christ's sake! - Jack! 1628 01:16:53,322 --> 01:16:56,103 - I'm sorry. - Have you lost your mind? 1629 01:16:56,203 --> 01:16:58,263 I don't know. Maybe. 1630 01:16:58,363 --> 01:17:00,363 Oh! 1631 01:17:00,923 --> 01:17:03,543 Ellison! Ms London! 1632 01:17:03,643 --> 01:17:06,983 Please don't be mad at Jack. He had nothing to do with this. 1633 01:17:07,083 --> 01:17:08,503 My son trusted you. 1634 01:17:08,603 --> 01:17:11,343 I don't appreciate being manipulated, 1635 01:17:11,443 --> 01:17:13,463 personally or professionally. 1636 01:17:13,563 --> 01:17:16,943 Then you're gonna not appreciate what I have to say next. 1637 01:17:17,043 --> 01:17:19,763 - The truth is... - Whoa! 1638 01:17:22,403 --> 01:17:23,823 Are they still coming? 1639 01:17:23,923 --> 01:17:26,303 You're gonna get yourself killed! 1640 01:17:26,403 --> 01:17:28,344 I'm in love with you! 1641 01:17:28,444 --> 01:17:30,604 What?! 1642 01:17:31,724 --> 01:17:32,944 Stop the car. 1643 01:17:33,044 --> 01:17:35,344 What is wrong with you people?! 1644 01:17:35,444 --> 01:17:36,504 - A horse! - Whoa! Whoa! 1645 01:17:37,764 --> 01:17:39,764 Merry Christmas! 1646 01:17:50,684 --> 01:17:53,784 What the hell is wrong with you? Are you crazy? 1647 01:17:53,884 --> 01:17:56,824 You know what, I might be a fraud, but you're one too! 1648 01:17:56,924 --> 01:17:59,184 Not the best start. 1649 01:17:59,284 --> 01:18:00,825 You're not who you pretend to be. 1650 01:18:00,925 --> 01:18:03,745 You're not this suave, lady-chasing playboy 1651 01:18:03,845 --> 01:18:05,225 that you pretend to be. 1652 01:18:05,325 --> 01:18:07,785 You're more than that. You do care. 1653 01:18:07,885 --> 01:18:09,265 And meeting with you, 1654 01:18:09,365 --> 01:18:11,945 it was one of the best surprises of my... of my life. 1655 01:18:12,045 --> 01:18:16,385 And if I let you go, I will regret it every day. 1656 01:18:16,485 --> 01:18:19,985 Every... Christmas for the rest of my life. 1657 01:18:20,085 --> 01:18:22,085 - So just... - "Don't..." 1658 01:18:23,045 --> 01:18:25,045 Just "Don't..." 1659 01:18:31,445 --> 01:18:33,526 "go breaking my heart." 1660 01:18:36,166 --> 01:18:38,166 "Oh, honey, if I get restless..." 1661 01:18:40,846 --> 01:18:42,846 Everybody's watching us. 1662 01:18:45,606 --> 01:18:48,006 Your speech was actually pretty good. 1663 01:18:50,246 --> 01:18:52,486 Don't leave me hanging here. 1664 01:18:53,886 --> 01:18:55,386 "I couldn't if I tried." 1665 01:18:56,926 --> 01:19:00,266 Are you kidding me right now? You want this... over this? 1666 01:19:00,366 --> 01:19:02,366 - Uh! - G'day. 1667 01:19:03,646 --> 01:19:06,507 OK. I see what's happening. 1668 01:19:06,607 --> 01:19:08,103 - Avalon, listen. - And I get it. Shhh! 1669 01:19:08,127 --> 01:19:09,507 Uh! Uh! Uh! Shhh. 1670 01:19:09,607 --> 01:19:11,867 - Hey, we... - We had some great times. 1671 01:19:11,967 --> 01:19:13,187 - Didn't we? - Uh... 1672 01:19:13,287 --> 01:19:16,467 Shhh! But I now pronounce you dumped and single. 1673 01:19:16,567 --> 01:19:18,187 You may kiss my ass. 1674 01:19:18,287 --> 01:19:19,987 Oooh! 1675 01:19:21,407 --> 01:19:24,267 We were not a couple. I can't stress that enough. 1676 01:19:24,367 --> 01:19:26,107 Uh-huh. 1677 01:19:26,207 --> 01:19:27,587 Close the door! 1678 01:19:27,687 --> 01:19:29,347 My luggage. 1679 01:19:29,447 --> 01:19:31,147 I'm so sorry. 1680 01:19:31,247 --> 01:19:32,947 Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! 1681 01:19:33,047 --> 01:19:35,287 Whoa! 1682 01:19:38,288 --> 01:19:39,908 She's like Dua Lipa. 1683 01:19:40,008 --> 01:19:42,108 But she needs a burger. 1684 01:19:42,208 --> 01:19:45,668 I finally finished your 'Clementine' book last night. 1685 01:19:45,768 --> 01:19:47,228 Wait. What do you mean? 1686 01:19:47,328 --> 01:19:48,748 You came all the way to Australia 1687 01:19:48,848 --> 01:19:50,588 and you just finished the book last night? 1688 01:19:50,688 --> 01:19:52,228 Did it ever occur to you, Jackson, 1689 01:19:52,328 --> 01:19:55,308 that maybe I didn't come all the way down here just for the book? 1690 01:19:55,408 --> 01:19:59,908 Maybe I also wanted to spend some time with my son. 1691 01:20:00,008 --> 01:20:03,668 The book is good. You were right. 1692 01:20:03,768 --> 01:20:07,108 And if this woman can finally get your head out of your ass, 1693 01:20:07,208 --> 01:20:09,069 I can only imagine the hold she'll have 1694 01:20:09,169 --> 01:20:10,869 on the rest of the world. 1695 01:20:10,969 --> 01:20:14,229 Wait. So does that mean you still want to buy the book? 1696 01:20:14,329 --> 01:20:16,429 Yes. 1697 01:20:16,529 --> 01:20:18,189 As for you two... 1698 01:20:18,289 --> 01:20:20,349 Uh-oh. 1699 01:20:20,449 --> 01:20:22,569 You were a couple this whole time? 1700 01:20:24,569 --> 01:20:25,949 Why, yes, ma'am. 1701 01:20:26,049 --> 01:20:30,689 And you don't really talk like Crocodile Dundee? 1702 01:20:31,689 --> 01:20:33,389 No. 1703 01:20:33,489 --> 01:20:36,509 Unless you want me to, you drongo! 1704 01:20:36,609 --> 01:20:39,309 Drongo. 1705 01:20:39,409 --> 01:20:42,730 We'll work you into the book promotion. You're hilarious. 1706 01:20:44,650 --> 01:20:49,550 Was that actually her finding something hilarious? 1707 01:20:49,650 --> 01:20:51,350 I think so. 1708 01:20:51,450 --> 01:20:53,150 I want to be her friend. 1709 01:20:53,250 --> 01:20:55,710 - I want her cravat. - Let's go. 1710 01:20:55,810 --> 01:20:57,810 So, now what? 1711 01:20:58,570 --> 01:21:02,190 One, two, three, four. 1712 01:21:15,371 --> 01:21:17,431 ? Oooh-hoo 1713 01:21:17,531 --> 01:21:19,631 ? Nobody knows it 1714 01:21:19,731 --> 01:21:21,751 ? Nobody knows, nobody knows 1715 01:21:21,851 --> 01:21:23,591 ? So don't go breaking my heart 1716 01:21:23,691 --> 01:21:25,271 ? Don't go breaking my heart 1717 01:21:25,371 --> 01:21:27,071 ? I won't go breaking your heart 1718 01:21:27,171 --> 01:21:28,551 ? Yeah, yeah 1719 01:21:28,651 --> 01:21:31,871 ? Don't go breaking my heart... ? 1720 01:22:07,012 --> 01:22:10,752 Argh! 1721 01:22:45,413 --> 01:22:47,353 ? You're hiding from dreams 1722 01:22:47,453 --> 01:22:49,913 ? You are chasing shadows 1723 01:22:50,013 --> 01:22:52,034 ? They cast away from you 1724 01:22:52,134 --> 01:22:53,994 ? Cast away 1725 01:22:54,094 --> 01:22:56,434 ? You are fighting a fever 1726 01:22:56,534 --> 01:22:58,794 ? Caught by staying late 1727 01:22:58,894 --> 01:23:00,954 ? You don't want to leave 1728 01:23:01,054 --> 01:23:02,514 ? You don't have to 1729 01:23:02,614 --> 01:23:05,274 ? You don't want to go away, no 1730 01:23:05,374 --> 01:23:08,114 ? Only you can stay 1731 01:23:08,214 --> 01:23:10,394 ? You can stay... 1732 01:23:10,494 --> 01:23:11,754 ? You can stay 1733 01:23:11,854 --> 01:23:13,794 ? A garden is waiting 1734 01:23:13,894 --> 01:23:16,514 ? If you do just what they say 1735 01:23:16,614 --> 01:23:18,654 ? Do just what they say 1736 01:23:20,614 --> 01:23:24,195 ? Ooooh 1737 01:23:24,295 --> 01:23:26,975 ? Ooh 1738 01:23:29,375 --> 01:23:31,675 ? Look at things you see 1739 01:23:31,775 --> 01:23:34,135 ? Look how far you've come 1740 01:23:37,175 --> 01:23:38,175 ? And I say 1741 01:23:38,255 --> 01:23:40,435 ? Look at where you've been 1742 01:23:40,535 --> 01:23:43,255 ? Look at where you're from 1743 01:23:46,895 --> 01:23:49,075 ? Look at things you've seen 1744 01:23:49,175 --> 01:23:51,735 ? Look how far you've come 1745 01:23:53,175 --> 01:23:55,976 ? And look how much you've grown. ? 122173