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1
00:00:01,502 --> 00:00:02,700
Adult mark: Halloween.
2
00:00:02,737 --> 00:00:04,369
There was no better time of year for a theatrical boy
3
00:00:04,405 --> 00:00:06,238
Than one that mandated costumes.
4
00:00:06,307 --> 00:00:07,840
[chalk thumps]
5
00:00:07,842 --> 00:00:10,042
- Now, who can tell me
6
00:00:10,044 --> 00:00:12,143
What important day is upon us?
7
00:00:13,180 --> 00:00:15,180
Mm.
- Halloween!
8
00:00:15,216 --> 00:00:16,915
It's gonna be awesome.
9
00:00:17,051 --> 00:00:18,716
I'm sleeping over at ritchie's.
10
00:00:18,753 --> 00:00:20,885
[students laugh]
11
00:00:22,923 --> 00:00:24,923
[spooky slow Halloween
music plays]
12
00:00:26,059 --> 00:00:28,193
- I was referring
to all saint's day.
13
00:00:28,195 --> 00:00:29,795
- We're in grade seven!
14
00:00:29,864 --> 00:00:31,530
Halloween is for
kindergarten babies.
15
00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:33,265
- But Halloween's fun.
16
00:00:33,334 --> 00:00:35,867
Zombies, witches, ghosts.
17
00:00:35,936 --> 00:00:38,136
- The only ghost you should
concern yourself with
18
00:00:38,271 --> 00:00:39,971
Is the holy one.
19
00:00:40,041 --> 00:00:42,741
And the only 'zombie' I know of is lazarus,
20
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:45,510
Whom christ himself raised
from the dead.
21
00:00:46,847 --> 00:00:49,415
- Uh, I think what sister rose
is trying to say, children,
22
00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:51,283
Is there's nothing
to be afraid of.
23
00:00:51,418 --> 00:00:54,019
- Yes, sister.
When you die, children,
24
00:00:54,088 --> 00:00:56,988
There are only two possible destinations:
25
00:00:57,058 --> 00:00:59,357
The eternal light of heaven
26
00:00:59,427 --> 00:01:01,893
Or the eternal flames of hell.
27
00:01:03,097 --> 00:01:05,163
[students murmur nervously]
28
00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:08,233
Adult mark: Who needed dracula to give you nightmares
29
00:01:08,269 --> 00:01:10,235
When you had nuns.
30
00:01:10,237 --> 00:01:13,238
♪♪♪
31
00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:14,907
[low hum of chatter]
32
00:01:14,909 --> 00:01:16,641
Ritchie: What am I gonna do
with my costume now?
33
00:01:16,710 --> 00:01:18,377
Mark: What do you mean?
You're gonna wear it.
34
00:01:18,512 --> 00:01:20,178
Who cares what they think?
35
00:01:20,247 --> 00:01:22,347
- Me. Like, a lot.
36
00:01:23,951 --> 00:01:25,383
- Gimme some.
37
00:01:25,453 --> 00:01:27,785
- Isn't begging for junk food
for "kindergarten babies?"
38
00:01:27,922 --> 00:01:30,856
- But this could be our last
year trick-or-treating.
39
00:01:30,925 --> 00:01:32,223
Come with us.
40
00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:34,460
- I guess I could go for a bit.
41
00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:36,395
I don't have a costume,
and I'd need a mask -
42
00:01:37,565 --> 00:01:39,464
So nobody sees me with you.
43
00:01:39,467 --> 00:01:42,801
- They have chocolate bars
as big as dogs on my street.
44
00:01:44,071 --> 00:01:46,271
- Okay, okay, I'm in.
45
00:01:46,273 --> 00:01:48,874
[chip bag rustles]
46
00:01:48,943 --> 00:01:51,076
- [chips crunch loudly]
in for what?
47
00:01:51,078 --> 00:01:52,844
- She's coming trick
or treating with us.
48
00:01:52,913 --> 00:01:55,280
- [snickers]
you are, are ya?
49
00:01:55,349 --> 00:01:57,248
You taking yer sooky bottle too?
50
00:01:57,284 --> 00:01:59,017
[chair scrapes back]
- frig off!
51
00:01:59,153 --> 00:02:00,686
I never said I was going
with them.
52
00:02:00,821 --> 00:02:02,554
Follow them and take
all their candy.
53
00:02:02,689 --> 00:02:04,422
- Wait. Let me get this
straight.
54
00:02:04,492 --> 00:02:06,824
You're gonna follow us
house to house,
55
00:02:06,861 --> 00:02:08,960
But instead of taking
free candy,
56
00:02:08,996 --> 00:02:11,029
You're gonna steal ours?
57
00:02:11,031 --> 00:02:12,497
- Exactly.
58
00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:14,500
- I rescind my invitation.
59
00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:16,702
[students chuckle nearby]
60
00:02:16,704 --> 00:02:18,570
- Watch your backs tonight,
dicks.
61
00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:20,104
[light thump]
62
00:02:20,141 --> 00:02:21,773
- [snickering] dicks.
- [whispers] sorry.
63
00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:27,379
- I don't wanna go anymore.
64
00:02:27,448 --> 00:02:29,247
- New strategy.
65
00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:31,250
We trick-or-treat by my house.
66
00:02:31,385 --> 00:02:33,619
No way the foxes can get to us
out there.
67
00:02:33,754 --> 00:02:36,788
- [snorts] no offense,
but there aren't any houses.
68
00:02:36,790 --> 00:02:38,490
- Pffft!
69
00:02:38,559 --> 00:02:41,360
I have my sources.
70
00:02:41,362 --> 00:02:43,595
[creepy organ music plays]
71
00:02:45,032 --> 00:02:47,666
- Shockin'! This spider's seen
better days!
72
00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:50,202
- Mm. Well, it's still got
two good legs
73
00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:52,538
And an arse full of web.
74
00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:54,806
Mm. Sounds a bit like myself.
75
00:02:54,808 --> 00:02:57,442
I'm a bit more worried
about the candy.
76
00:02:57,444 --> 00:02:59,945
We're down to our last
couple of fistfuls.
77
00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:02,447
- Oh, well, I wonder why
that is, ya greedy bugger!
78
00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:04,483
Leave some for the kids.
Mike jr.: What kids?
79
00:03:04,485 --> 00:03:06,351
Nobody ever comes trick
or treatin' out here.
80
00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:08,820
- That's right!
Waste not, want not!
81
00:03:08,822 --> 00:03:10,422
[door clicks shut]
82
00:03:10,557 --> 00:03:12,890
[laughing, footsteps tap
across the floor]
83
00:03:12,927 --> 00:03:14,760
- Oh! Let's get a look at you,
boys.
84
00:03:14,895 --> 00:03:16,361
Pop: Oh, ho-ho-ho!
85
00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:18,430
Adult mark: Ah, the plastic smock costumes
86
00:03:18,565 --> 00:03:20,365
Of '80s childhood!
87
00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:22,334
I couldn't wait to show it off.
88
00:03:22,403 --> 00:03:24,536
- Oh, you'll freeze
your arse off!
89
00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:26,004
- Wha-- [frustrated sigh]
90
00:03:26,139 --> 00:03:27,406
[hangers clatter]
91
00:03:27,408 --> 00:03:29,274
- Mom! Nobody'll see
our costumes!
92
00:03:29,409 --> 00:03:31,643
- That wind'll cut you
in half.
93
00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:33,712
[jacket rustles]
here.
94
00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:35,714
Put that on!
95
00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:37,583
You be careful out
on that road.
96
00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:39,917
We live on a four-lane highway,
for god's sake.
97
00:03:39,954 --> 00:03:41,587
Imagine your mother's face
98
00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:44,055
If we sent you home
looking like roadkill, hmm?
99
00:03:45,125 --> 00:03:46,691
- You think we can get
run over?
100
00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:48,493
- No!
- Absolutely.
101
00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:51,029
Pop: [gleeful] it's the fairies.
102
00:03:51,164 --> 00:03:53,932
They're a real danger
on days like this.
103
00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:55,534
Adult mark: Some of the old folks still believed
104
00:03:55,536 --> 00:03:57,535
In the old irish folktales
105
00:03:57,571 --> 00:04:00,138
Of the 'little people' who lived in the woods.
106
00:04:00,207 --> 00:04:03,074
- The fairies get mad on all soul's night.
107
00:04:03,143 --> 00:04:04,509
Mike jr.: Ah, here he goes.
108
00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:06,511
- Oh no, it's all right,
you can laugh all you want,
109
00:04:06,513 --> 00:04:07,980
But it's true.
110
00:04:08,115 --> 00:04:10,749
And stay outta those woods
or they'll run after ya.
111
00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:12,617
And disguising yourself as one of them,
112
00:04:12,620 --> 00:04:14,319
That's not gonna help.
113
00:04:14,454 --> 00:04:16,387
- We're smurfs.
114
00:04:17,691 --> 00:04:20,391
- Here. Put this bread
in your pocket.
115
00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:22,627
[jacket rustles]
and you, too.
116
00:04:22,663 --> 00:04:24,362
Nah-uh. Come on.
117
00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:27,365
- Why do we need bread
when we're getting candy?
118
00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:29,768
- It's not for you, laddie.
119
00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:31,402
It's for the fairies.
120
00:04:32,572 --> 00:04:35,606
Many a child has gone missing
in those woods.
121
00:04:38,845 --> 00:04:40,978
Mary: [laughing] give it up, pop.
122
00:04:41,015 --> 00:04:43,114
You're scarin' him. - [chuckles gleefully]
123
00:04:43,183 --> 00:04:44,449
- Never you mind.
124
00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:46,318
The only thing you have
to worry about
125
00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:48,520
Is some sick bastard putting
razor blades in your candy.
126
00:04:48,589 --> 00:04:50,121
Or a car pulling up
127
00:04:50,190 --> 00:04:51,923
And snatching you off
to god knows where.
128
00:04:51,992 --> 00:04:53,391
Adult mark: Mom had a way of comforting you
129
00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:55,793
That somehow made everything worse.
130
00:04:55,929 --> 00:04:58,262
- Oh, people are sick
these days, I tell ya.
131
00:04:58,299 --> 00:05:00,098
Sick!
[pop chuckles]
132
00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:02,333
- M-maybe we should go
to my house.
133
00:05:02,335 --> 00:05:05,503
- Oh, pop, you've got this
youngster scared to death!
134
00:05:06,774 --> 00:05:08,874
- Well, you never know what's
waiting for you out there
135
00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:11,409
In the cold, dark night.
136
00:05:13,714 --> 00:05:16,013
- [yells] jesus murphy!
- What?
137
00:05:16,050 --> 00:05:18,083
- [screams] ohhh! No!
138
00:05:18,152 --> 00:05:19,584
- Is that fairies?
139
00:05:19,620 --> 00:05:21,452
- Oh, it's just a big,
bloody ol' moose!
140
00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:23,622
Oh, you... You dirty big bugger!
Get!
141
00:05:23,757 --> 00:05:25,289
Get outta here!
142
00:05:25,326 --> 00:05:27,158
Adult mark: Some people had to deal with stray cats.
143
00:05:27,194 --> 00:05:29,294
Where we lived, it was stray moose.
144
00:05:29,429 --> 00:05:31,096
[door squeaks open,
pot clanks]
145
00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:35,200
- Go on now, before I put your
head on the wall, ya bastard!
146
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:38,169
- Get! Oh, you big dumb moose,
get outta here!
147
00:05:38,238 --> 00:05:39,571
[pot clanks, pop yells]
- oh.
148
00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:41,939
- So, what do you say?
Wanna go trick-or-treating?
149
00:05:41,975 --> 00:05:43,742
Mary: Oh! Go on! Go away!
150
00:05:45,211 --> 00:05:47,445
[pot clanks]
get, get, get, get! Oh...
151
00:05:47,514 --> 00:05:49,180
[pot clanks]
152
00:05:49,216 --> 00:05:50,849
- Ah, asshole.
153
00:05:52,252 --> 00:05:53,985
[door slams shut]
154
00:05:54,054 --> 00:05:55,721
Adult mark: Most kids trick-or treated on their street,
155
00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:58,523
But my street was the trans-canada highway.
156
00:05:58,525 --> 00:06:00,658
[car rumbles past]
ritchie: That one felt close.
157
00:06:00,660 --> 00:06:03,728
Didn't it feel close?
- Would ya relax?
158
00:06:03,731 --> 00:06:05,664
There's nothing
to be scared of.
159
00:06:05,799 --> 00:06:07,733
[loud rumble, horn honks]
160
00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:10,368
[blazer rumbles to a halt,
gearshift clunks]
161
00:06:11,572 --> 00:06:13,939
- Evenin', boys. Need a lift?
162
00:06:14,074 --> 00:06:15,607
- We're okay, dad.
163
00:06:16,910 --> 00:06:19,677
- Is this the pumpkin patrol?
Cool!
164
00:06:19,747 --> 00:06:21,746
Adult mark: Each year, dad and dick drove around
165
00:06:21,749 --> 00:06:24,515
Passing out treats and keeping kids safe from everything
166
00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:26,685
Except type 2 diabetes.
167
00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:28,352
Dick: That's right.
168
00:06:28,389 --> 00:06:30,688
Vocm, coming at you, live,
all night,
169
00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:32,891
Keeping the ghosts
and goblins safe!
170
00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:34,493
Arrive alive!
171
00:06:34,628 --> 00:06:37,095
[ritchie gasps,
bag rustles and thumps]
172
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:38,596
- Ow...
- Great costumes.
173
00:06:39,767 --> 00:06:41,466
You guys a couple
of blueberries?
174
00:06:41,601 --> 00:06:43,367
- We're smurfs.
175
00:06:43,404 --> 00:06:45,236
- I'm a sexy fireman!
176
00:06:45,272 --> 00:06:46,771
- Dick! Youngsters!
177
00:06:46,807 --> 00:06:48,907
- I mean, I'm a fireman.
178
00:06:48,976 --> 00:06:50,909
Mike sr.: You sure you boys are all right?
179
00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:53,244
- We are fine, dad!
180
00:06:53,280 --> 00:06:55,913
- I know, I know. It's just
your mother was worried is all.
181
00:06:56,983 --> 00:06:58,784
- Gotta go, mike.
We got candy to give out!
182
00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:00,384
- Here. Pick me up a pack
of smokes
183
00:07:00,421 --> 00:07:02,019
When you get
to the gas station!
184
00:07:02,055 --> 00:07:04,189
[gearshift clunks,
blazer rumbles away]
185
00:07:04,258 --> 00:07:06,324
Adult mark: Smokes money fromdad wasn't technically a treat,
186
00:07:06,326 --> 00:07:08,226
But it was a start.
187
00:07:09,663 --> 00:07:11,562
- Now, ye crowd behave
yourselves
188
00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:13,397
While I'm taking your
little brother out!
189
00:07:13,434 --> 00:07:15,099
If there's any trouble,
I'll be shipping ya off
190
00:07:15,169 --> 00:07:16,801
To your father's. I mean it!
191
00:07:17,871 --> 00:07:20,004
- Frig off, ya sooky babies!
192
00:07:20,073 --> 00:07:21,873
- Oh, stop it! Tsk, tsk, tsk!
193
00:07:22,008 --> 00:07:23,608
You taught him that,
didn't ya?!
194
00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:26,010
[car rumbles away]
[snickering]
195
00:07:26,012 --> 00:07:28,412
- Guys! You heard her.
196
00:07:28,449 --> 00:07:30,282
If you wanna start staying
at mom's house more,
197
00:07:30,284 --> 00:07:31,817
You better listen.
198
00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:34,486
- Trick or treat?
I says "trick!"
199
00:07:34,488 --> 00:07:37,088
[footsteps thud]
200
00:07:37,090 --> 00:07:38,657
[hard whack]
201
00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:40,892
Brothers: [laugh]
202
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:45,263
Adult mark: It's tough trick or-treating at your neighbours
203
00:07:45,332 --> 00:07:47,798
When your closest neighbour is a car lot.
204
00:07:47,835 --> 00:07:50,234
Boys: Trick or treat!
- What do we got here?
205
00:07:50,270 --> 00:07:52,169
A couple of woodland fairies?
206
00:07:52,206 --> 00:07:53,905
Mark: Something like that.
207
00:07:53,941 --> 00:07:56,708
Wacky wesley: Uh, well, okay.
Th-this is a car lot.
208
00:07:56,777 --> 00:07:59,444
I wasn't exactly ready for
trick-or-treaters.
209
00:08:00,514 --> 00:08:01,846
Ah! There we go!
210
00:08:02,916 --> 00:08:05,450
- Certs.
Oh, and cough drops!
211
00:08:05,585 --> 00:08:07,118
Good!
212
00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:09,387
You know, I was starting to get
a little tickle in my throat.
213
00:08:09,522 --> 00:08:11,088
Score!
214
00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:16,528
- Don't eat 'em all at once,
boys.
215
00:08:16,530 --> 00:08:19,363
[spooky music plays]
216
00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:22,400
[footsteps trudge]
217
00:08:22,402 --> 00:08:23,968
- An air freshener,
218
00:08:25,205 --> 00:08:27,405
Double a batteries,
219
00:08:29,409 --> 00:08:31,676
A free tire rotation
with every oil
220
00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:33,811
And filter change.
221
00:08:35,115 --> 00:08:37,282
- It's all year round. Good,
they finally changed that.
222
00:08:37,351 --> 00:08:39,383
[crow caws in the distance]
223
00:08:40,921 --> 00:08:42,954
- Should we just go home?
224
00:08:42,990 --> 00:08:45,222
Maybe we are too old
for Halloween,
225
00:08:46,260 --> 00:08:48,326
'cause this sucks.
226
00:08:49,429 --> 00:08:50,828
[crow caws in the distance]
227
00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:52,830
- Okay, let's go.
228
00:08:54,434 --> 00:08:56,367
I know a shortcut.
229
00:08:56,403 --> 00:08:58,102
- What about the fairies?
230
00:08:58,171 --> 00:09:00,638
- Fairies aren't real.
Kidnappers are though.
231
00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:02,807
[spooky music plays]
232
00:09:04,778 --> 00:09:07,045
[crow caws,
distant scream]
233
00:09:08,715 --> 00:09:10,715
Adult mark: We were down in the dumps,
234
00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:13,051
So why not take a shortcut through the dump?
235
00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:16,254
♪♪♪
236
00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:18,255
The ol' dump in the woods was where things went
237
00:09:18,292 --> 00:09:20,191
Before the environment was invented.
238
00:09:20,327 --> 00:09:22,226
Ritchie: [whispers] mark.
Mark: [laboured breathing]
239
00:09:22,296 --> 00:09:24,362
[car idles]
240
00:09:24,364 --> 00:09:26,264
Adult mark: Everything ended up there -
241
00:09:26,266 --> 00:09:28,133
Cars, refrigerators -
242
00:09:29,536 --> 00:09:31,870
But I had never seen anyone dump a body there before.
243
00:09:31,872 --> 00:09:33,771
Ritchie: [screams] oh my god!
244
00:09:33,773 --> 00:09:36,541
[rug thumps]
245
00:09:36,543 --> 00:09:38,009
Boys: [gasp]
246
00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:39,811
[tense music plays]
247
00:09:39,813 --> 00:09:41,879
[footsteps crunch]
248
00:09:44,818 --> 00:09:46,685
Man: Oh jesus! Fairies!
Boys: [screaming]
249
00:09:46,820 --> 00:09:49,153
Men: [screaming]
250
00:09:49,155 --> 00:09:50,855
All: [screaming in terror]
251
00:09:52,459 --> 00:09:54,092
Adult mark: You know you live in the boonies
252
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:55,760
When people feel comfortable dropping a dead body
253
00:09:55,762 --> 00:09:56,895
Next to your house.
254
00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,232
Door handle rattles]
255
00:10:01,301 --> 00:10:03,301
[knocking at the door,
door handle rattles]
256
00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:05,036
- Oh, we got some kids!
[mary laughs excitedly]
257
00:10:05,038 --> 00:10:06,471
[door clicks open]
258
00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:07,772
[running footsteps,
door bangs shut]
259
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,641
Mike jr.: No, it's just them. Told ya!
260
00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:12,377
- Aw, look at 'em all worn out.
How was your night?
261
00:10:12,446 --> 00:10:14,245
- [wheezing] dead... Body...
262
00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:18,216
- So... Much... Blood.
263
00:10:18,218 --> 00:10:20,652
- What're you talking about?
264
00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:24,656
- We... We saw someone
to-tossing a dead body
265
00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:26,524
In... In the dump!
266
00:10:26,560 --> 00:10:28,393
- Oh, come off it.
They're lying.
267
00:10:28,462 --> 00:10:30,428
- We did! Honest!
268
00:10:31,565 --> 00:10:33,331
[wolf howls on tv]
269
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:35,566
- Do you boys swear
you're telling the truth?
270
00:10:36,936 --> 00:10:39,204
Adult mark: Finally, someone was taking us seriously.
271
00:10:39,339 --> 00:10:40,805
[glass shatters, woman screams on tv]
272
00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:42,740
- [triumphantly] I knew it!
273
00:10:42,876 --> 00:10:44,676
I said something terrible
would happen tonight,
274
00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:47,078
And it did! I was right!
[laughs gleefully]
275
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:48,813
Boys: [breathing hard]
276
00:10:48,948 --> 00:10:51,249
- Oh, but I'm glad that
you boys are safe though.
277
00:10:52,352 --> 00:10:54,218
Yeah, that's good.
278
00:10:54,287 --> 00:10:56,354
[chainsaw buzzes on tv,
boys catch their breath]
279
00:10:57,991 --> 00:10:59,691
[hard whack,
plastic bones scatter]
280
00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:01,759
Brothers: [laughing gleefully]
281
00:11:01,795 --> 00:11:04,562
[dog barks nearby,
brothers sigh]
282
00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:07,765
Adult mark: Fox may not have outgrown Halloween,
283
00:11:07,767 --> 00:11:09,067
But she had outgrown her brothers.
284
00:11:09,202 --> 00:11:11,302
[kids chatter,
brothers chortle]
285
00:11:11,338 --> 00:11:12,970
- Wait!
286
00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:15,440
Leave 'em alone.
I'll tell mom.
287
00:11:15,509 --> 00:11:17,842
- You'd love to have us shipped
off to dad's, wouldn't you?
288
00:11:17,977 --> 00:11:19,910
- She thinks she's too good
for us.
289
00:11:19,946 --> 00:11:22,146
- I'm here with you now,
aren't I?
290
00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:23,781
- Here, then.
[bat clatters]
291
00:11:25,152 --> 00:11:28,953
These have been out in the sun
for 3 weeks.
292
00:11:28,989 --> 00:11:32,423
- Ha! Gross! Chicken poo!
[moronic laugh]
293
00:11:32,459 --> 00:11:34,658
- This place looks like it
could use a little stinking up.
294
00:11:36,229 --> 00:11:38,796
[kids laugh and chatter in the distance]
295
00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:41,733
Kid: Thank you! Kid 2: Thanks!
296
00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:43,468
Adult mark: Ritchie's house.
297
00:11:43,537 --> 00:11:46,804
Fox was torn - friends or family?
298
00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:49,273
- You can't go easy on someone,
just 'cause you knows 'em.
299
00:11:49,309 --> 00:11:50,875
[tense music plays]
300
00:11:52,011 --> 00:11:53,811
Adult mark: The choice was clear.
301
00:11:53,847 --> 00:11:56,013
[music intensifies]
302
00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:58,817
[egg smashes]
303
00:11:58,952 --> 00:12:03,354
♪♪♪
304
00:12:03,423 --> 00:12:05,623
[egg smashes,
vehicle approaches]
305
00:12:05,659 --> 00:12:07,525
Cops! Run!
[siren wails]
306
00:12:07,594 --> 00:12:11,262
- Attention, vandals!
You've been caught egg-handed!
307
00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:14,032
[blazer door squeaks open,
low chatter over cb radio]
308
00:12:14,034 --> 00:12:15,767
Middle fox: What're you
gonna do, buddy?
309
00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:17,735
Pull out your hose?
310
00:12:17,738 --> 00:12:19,370
Boo! [laughs]
311
00:12:19,372 --> 00:12:21,405
- Mike! Roll up the window.
- Get him!
312
00:12:22,508 --> 00:12:24,875
- Here! Beat it!
- Suckers!
313
00:12:24,911 --> 00:12:27,779
[snickering]
- frig off, loser!
314
00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:31,315
- [over pa system] man down!
Request backup! Man down!
315
00:12:31,351 --> 00:12:33,551
[eggs smash]
- suck it, fireman!
316
00:12:33,587 --> 00:12:35,419
[brothers snicker]
317
00:12:37,323 --> 00:12:39,123
[loon cries, owl hoots]
318
00:12:40,193 --> 00:12:42,193
[dog barks in the distance]
319
00:12:43,396 --> 00:12:45,830
- So it was a black sedan,
was it?
320
00:12:45,965 --> 00:12:47,832
[footsteps approach]
- good god!
321
00:12:47,901 --> 00:12:49,600
What's going on here?
322
00:12:49,636 --> 00:12:51,569
- I'm a sexy fireman.
323
00:12:51,638 --> 00:12:52,871
- [annoyed sigh]
324
00:12:53,006 --> 00:12:54,738
- They said they saw
a dead body,
325
00:12:54,775 --> 00:12:56,608
But they're lyin'.
326
00:12:56,610 --> 00:12:58,610
- Negative.
I took a look at the scene
327
00:12:58,745 --> 00:13:01,546
And I found car tracks
and a trail of blood.
328
00:13:01,548 --> 00:13:04,615
They saw something.
- Can I quote you on that?
329
00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:06,551
- Are you mad?
This is our son!
330
00:13:06,686 --> 00:13:08,153
- It's not every day
you get a scoop
331
00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:09,854
In your own living room.
332
00:13:09,989 --> 00:13:12,223
- What if they were spotted?
They could be in danger!
333
00:13:12,259 --> 00:13:14,425
- Don't worry, we will be
taking precautions.
334
00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:18,329
I will see to that personally.
I'll be in touch.
335
00:13:18,464 --> 00:13:20,231
- Uh, you can call me
at the station.
336
00:13:20,233 --> 00:13:23,033
- About the boys, mike.
- [sighs]
337
00:13:25,172 --> 00:13:27,137
[footsteps recede]
338
00:13:29,442 --> 00:13:31,042
- Have it all.
339
00:13:31,111 --> 00:13:33,410
You deserve it, kids.
Boys: [gasp]
340
00:13:33,446 --> 00:13:35,180
- Oh my god!
- [laughing excitedly]
341
00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:37,582
Adult mark: Candy? Dead body? Cops?!
342
00:13:37,584 --> 00:13:40,718
Halloween at my house did not suck after all.
343
00:13:40,787 --> 00:13:42,854
[rock music plays]
344
00:13:42,989 --> 00:13:48,259
♪♪♪
345
00:13:48,295 --> 00:13:50,862
♪ oh
346
00:13:50,997 --> 00:13:59,336
♪♪♪
347
00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:00,938
♪ mmm
348
00:14:02,142 --> 00:14:04,408
Adult mark: Ritchie and I had never felt cooler.
349
00:14:04,444 --> 00:14:06,677
We had more candy than willy wonka,
350
00:14:06,713 --> 00:14:08,880
And a tale to tell that was even sweeter.
351
00:14:10,016 --> 00:14:11,716
- No way!
- Yes way.
352
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:13,952
Then... A human arm falls out!
353
00:14:14,087 --> 00:14:16,688
Students: [gasp]
- [quietly] totally... Dead!
354
00:14:16,823 --> 00:14:19,223
- That's so cool.
- [coughs] never happened!
355
00:14:19,292 --> 00:14:21,693
- Yes, it did!
- I believe ritchie.
356
00:14:21,828 --> 00:14:23,328
He doesn't make stuff up.
357
00:14:23,330 --> 00:14:24,996
- Whatever. Lame!
358
00:14:25,131 --> 00:14:28,099
- Right, our night was lame.
What did you do?
359
00:14:28,168 --> 00:14:30,401
[kids murmur quietly,
bell rings]
360
00:14:30,403 --> 00:14:32,036
Sister rose: Children.
361
00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:34,204
[footsteps thud,
chairs scrape]
362
00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:38,175
I wanted to take a moment
to introduce you
363
00:14:38,245 --> 00:14:40,044
To officer butt.
364
00:14:40,179 --> 00:14:42,012
[students snicker]
sister margaret: Settle!
365
00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:44,648
Do you think he doesn't already
know he has a stupid name?
366
00:14:46,085 --> 00:14:48,052
Officer, go ahead.
367
00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:53,157
- Last night, two unnamed
children witnessed a crime.
368
00:14:54,361 --> 00:14:55,993
They bravely came forward,
369
00:14:56,029 --> 00:14:57,762
Putting their lives
in grave danger.
370
00:14:57,897 --> 00:14:59,264
For their own safety,
371
00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:01,666
We will not reveal who they are.
372
00:15:01,668 --> 00:15:04,268
Their identities must remain secret.
373
00:15:04,337 --> 00:15:06,337
Until the danger's passed,
374
00:15:06,373 --> 00:15:08,006
I will stay here
with you all
375
00:15:08,141 --> 00:15:10,475
To ensure mark and ritchie's
safety.
376
00:15:10,610 --> 00:15:12,176
[students murmur and giggle]
377
00:15:13,213 --> 00:15:15,213
Adult mark: Officer butt was no columbo,
378
00:15:15,215 --> 00:15:17,015
But there wasn't much crime where I lived,
379
00:15:17,150 --> 00:15:19,016
And as trick-or-treating teaches us,
380
00:15:19,152 --> 00:15:21,218
Beggars can't be choosers.
381
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:22,886
[chair scrapes loudly]
382
00:15:24,691 --> 00:15:27,425
Ritchie and I had been picked on our whole life,
383
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:29,861
But now we had a bodyguard!
384
00:15:29,863 --> 00:15:31,362
We were untouchable!
385
00:15:31,398 --> 00:15:33,030
- Hey! Watch it!
386
00:15:33,066 --> 00:15:35,366
- Yeah, wouldn't wanna get
our bodyguard to rough you up.
387
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:38,369
- I'm not gonna do that.
388
00:15:38,371 --> 00:15:40,371
[low hum of chatter]
389
00:15:40,506 --> 00:15:42,740
♪♪♪
390
00:15:42,809 --> 00:15:44,241
- Move it, loser.
This is our table.
391
00:15:44,311 --> 00:15:46,177
- Hey! I was here first.
392
00:15:46,179 --> 00:15:47,979
- [laughs] you gonna rat
on us?
393
00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:50,180
- Yeah, right.
She wouldn't dare.
394
00:15:50,216 --> 00:15:52,116
- [snickering]
395
00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:55,453
Adult mark: The back table was the exclusive territory
396
00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:57,688
Of the toughest kids in school,
397
00:15:58,825 --> 00:16:00,792
But we had a police escort.
398
00:16:00,927 --> 00:16:08,333
♪♪♪
399
00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:10,934
- Mind if we sit here,
gentlemen?
400
00:16:10,971 --> 00:16:12,804
- [clears throat]
401
00:16:12,939 --> 00:16:15,006
[chairs scrape and clatter]
402
00:16:16,276 --> 00:16:18,242
[rock music plays]
403
00:16:19,279 --> 00:16:20,878
- [annoyed growl]
404
00:16:21,014 --> 00:16:23,213
- Gobstopper, ritchie m'boy?
405
00:16:23,249 --> 00:16:25,416
- Don't mind if I do.
406
00:16:28,455 --> 00:16:30,354
[gobstoppers tap]
- cheers to that.
407
00:16:30,357 --> 00:16:33,090
Adult mark: I was the silverback gorilla.
408
00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:35,626
It felt good to be the king of the castle for once.
409
00:16:38,565 --> 00:16:40,565
[bell rings]
410
00:16:43,302 --> 00:16:45,503
Sister margaret: All right, we have north america,
411
00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:47,438
Central america
412
00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:49,573
And south america.
413
00:16:49,575 --> 00:16:51,409
[candy wrapper rustles]
mark critch!
414
00:16:51,544 --> 00:16:53,778
There is no eating candy
in class!
415
00:16:55,048 --> 00:16:56,780
- Officer butt is doing it.
416
00:16:59,652 --> 00:17:01,719
[students laugh,
sister margaret sighs]
417
00:17:02,822 --> 00:17:04,321
Can anyone tell me--
418
00:17:05,458 --> 00:17:08,326
- You see how the map
is all different colours?
419
00:17:08,328 --> 00:17:10,661
Is earth all different colours
like that in real life?
420
00:17:10,663 --> 00:17:12,462
[students chuckle]
421
00:17:12,464 --> 00:17:14,164
Like, from space?
422
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:16,200
- No wonder they don't let you
have a gun.
423
00:17:16,236 --> 00:17:18,135
- Do so have a gun.
424
00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:20,138
I just don't have it
all the time.
425
00:17:20,273 --> 00:17:22,172
[students laugh]vice principal: Officer butt,
426
00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:24,741
Please report to the principal's office.
427
00:17:24,778 --> 00:17:27,511
Students: [jeering] oooooooh!
428
00:17:29,449 --> 00:17:31,282
[footsteps thud]
429
00:17:31,284 --> 00:17:32,983
[students titter]
430
00:17:33,053 --> 00:17:34,752
[door clicks open]
- I'm sure it's nothing.
431
00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:36,520
[door clicks shut]
432
00:17:38,958 --> 00:17:41,159
- I can't stay long.
I'm supposed to be in school.
433
00:17:41,294 --> 00:17:43,227
So, what's so important?
434
00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:46,029
- I'm not so sure there was
a body here after all.
435
00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:48,999
- Mike, leave the investigation
to the professionals.
436
00:17:50,070 --> 00:17:51,335
I mean...
437
00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:53,704
Clearly, there are signs
of a struggle.
438
00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:56,206
You see how the grass has
all flattened out...
439
00:17:57,243 --> 00:18:00,010
Where they dragged
the body away.
440
00:18:00,046 --> 00:18:01,778
Follow the blood splatters.
441
00:18:01,815 --> 00:18:03,814
Here and here.
442
00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:06,384
Poor soul must have been wounded.
443
00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:08,653
They might even have been shot.
444
00:18:08,655 --> 00:18:10,655
We did find a shell casing.
445
00:18:10,790 --> 00:18:14,292
I mean, how else would blood
have gotten all over the grass?
446
00:18:15,662 --> 00:18:18,062
- Maybe we should ask him?
447
00:18:18,197 --> 00:18:20,998
[vocm news service music plays] breaking news!
448
00:18:21,134 --> 00:18:23,734
The police apprehended two poachers just moments ago.
449
00:18:25,338 --> 00:18:28,405
The two men were tossing garbage Halloween night
450
00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:30,207
When they spied a juvenile moose.
451
00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:31,876
[glass clatters]
452
00:18:31,945 --> 00:18:33,443
Though they had a moose license,
453
00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:35,346
They did not have tags for hunting within city limits.
454
00:18:35,481 --> 00:18:37,148
[loads shotgun]
455
00:18:37,150 --> 00:18:40,117
Nevertheless, the two culprits executed the animal
456
00:18:40,153 --> 00:18:41,752
In cold blood, [shotgun fires]
457
00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:44,087
Setting into motion a nefarious plan.
458
00:18:45,358 --> 00:18:47,959
The hooligans then set about butchering the beast,
459
00:18:47,961 --> 00:18:50,828
Transforming the peaceful grassland into an abattoir.
460
00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:56,567
They then removed the carcass under cloak of darkness.
461
00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:58,502
Ritchie: Oh my god! [heavy thud]
462
00:18:58,505 --> 00:19:00,338
Mike sr.: But their crime spree was foiled,
463
00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:02,506
Thanks to the actions of two intrepid youths
464
00:19:02,542 --> 00:19:04,375
Who startled the assassins,
465
00:19:04,444 --> 00:19:06,644
Who mistook the boys for woodland fairies.
466
00:19:06,713 --> 00:19:08,646
Man: Oh jesus! Fairies!
Boys: [screaming]
467
00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:11,014
All: [screaming]
468
00:19:12,318 --> 00:19:14,318
Mike sr.: The authorities were able to locate
469
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:17,120
The suspect vehicle and the illegally gained moose meat.
470
00:19:17,157 --> 00:19:20,791
This is mike critch, for the vocm news service.
471
00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:22,393
[students chatter]
472
00:19:22,395 --> 00:19:24,361
- We've made so many enemies.
473
00:19:27,367 --> 00:19:29,333
- Come on, gentlemen,
474
00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:32,303
Nothing a little... Candy
can't fix.
475
00:19:32,372 --> 00:19:34,371
- Cop's gone home, is he?
476
00:19:34,373 --> 00:19:36,240
Now you're gonna get it.
[knuckles crack]
477
00:19:37,610 --> 00:19:39,343
Adult mark: The cavalry!
478
00:19:39,379 --> 00:19:41,479
- Officer butt! You're back!
- Nope.
479
00:19:41,614 --> 00:19:43,280
Just forgot my notebook,
480
00:19:43,349 --> 00:19:45,483
And somebody said they were
handing out freezies.
481
00:19:45,618 --> 00:19:47,051
See you around.
482
00:19:47,053 --> 00:19:49,053
- Uh, by the way,
483
00:19:49,055 --> 00:19:51,022
My brothers are the ones
who egged all the houses
484
00:19:51,024 --> 00:19:52,823
On cook street Halloween night.
485
00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:55,559
- Oh, really.
486
00:19:55,562 --> 00:19:57,294
- Oh!
- Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!
487
00:19:57,363 --> 00:19:59,764
You can't run from the law!
488
00:19:59,766 --> 00:20:02,032
- You squealed on
your own brothers?
489
00:20:02,068 --> 00:20:04,401
- That's cold.
- I have my reasons.
490
00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:08,839
- You're gonna steal our candy
now, aren't you?
491
00:20:09,876 --> 00:20:11,475
- Yeah.
[wrapper rustles]
492
00:20:14,447 --> 00:20:16,781
- Did not expect that.
- Nope.
493
00:20:19,185 --> 00:20:20,951
Adult mark: It's natural to be scared,
494
00:20:20,954 --> 00:20:22,987
But the monster you're most afraid of...
495
00:20:23,056 --> 00:20:24,688
[birds chirp]
496
00:20:25,792 --> 00:20:27,891
- Don't say I didn't warn ya!
497
00:20:27,927 --> 00:20:30,327
Well, your father will have
to deal with ya now, won't he?
498
00:20:30,396 --> 00:20:32,529
Come on you.
499
00:20:32,599 --> 00:20:34,398
Ungh. We got a show to watch.
500
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:36,200
Adult mark: Is probably only scary
501
00:20:36,269 --> 00:20:38,836
Because it's scared of something, too.
502
00:20:38,971 --> 00:20:41,772
Fox: [indistinct chatter]
503
00:20:44,410 --> 00:20:46,410
Adult mark: And the things we once thought were monsters,
504
00:20:46,412 --> 00:20:48,345
Aren't really scary at all,
505
00:20:48,414 --> 00:20:51,615
Once we know them for what they really are.
506
00:20:51,618 --> 00:20:53,617
- Well, thank god.
507
00:20:53,653 --> 00:20:55,686
I thought I'd gone
and got ya killed.
508
00:20:57,790 --> 00:20:59,357
[moose grunts]
509
00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:02,560
All right now, just go on,
510
00:21:02,562 --> 00:21:04,295
Get on outta here! Shoo!
511
00:21:04,297 --> 00:21:06,764
Shoo!
[moose grunts]
512
00:21:08,735 --> 00:21:16,707
♪♪♪
513
00:21:16,709 --> 00:21:24,448
♪♪♪
514
00:21:24,484 --> 00:21:31,522
♪♪♪
515
00:21:31,591 --> 00:21:37,761
♪♪♪
43477
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