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1
00:00:01,101 --> 00:00:02,033
[lively jazz music]
2
00:00:02,069 --> 00:00:03,569
- Adult mark (vo): Families on tv
3
00:00:03,704 --> 00:00:05,170
Eat at the table.
4
00:00:05,206 --> 00:00:06,638
- Supper!
5
00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:08,673
- I usually ate in front of the tv
6
00:00:08,709 --> 00:00:10,875
Watching those families on tv eat.
7
00:00:10,911 --> 00:00:13,111
- Here.
- What is it?
8
00:00:13,147 --> 00:00:14,612
- Food.
Eat it!
9
00:00:15,683 --> 00:00:17,148
- Dad liked to eat at the kitchen table
10
00:00:17,184 --> 00:00:19,117
So he wouldn't miss himself on the radio.
11
00:00:19,153 --> 00:00:20,986
- Eat this now
while it's hot.
12
00:00:21,121 --> 00:00:24,122
- Be quiet, will ya?
I can't hear myself speak.
13
00:00:24,158 --> 00:00:26,658
- Mike preferred to eat in his room alone
14
00:00:26,727 --> 00:00:29,060
Like a wounded wild animal hiding from predators.
15
00:00:29,096 --> 00:00:31,830
- Mom, get out of my room!
And knock first!
16
00:00:31,899 --> 00:00:33,532
- I don't want to know what
you're doing in here,
17
00:00:33,601 --> 00:00:35,200
Believe me.
18
00:00:35,236 --> 00:00:36,668
[rock music]
19
00:00:37,705 --> 00:00:39,104
- Pop rarely made it to suppertime.
20
00:00:39,173 --> 00:00:40,672
[pop groans]
21
00:00:40,808 --> 00:00:44,109
My mother never stopped moving long enough to eat anything.
22
00:00:44,111 --> 00:00:45,744
Food was for survival
23
00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:47,846
And not something meant to be enjoyed.
24
00:00:47,915 --> 00:00:49,681
[mumbling]
25
00:00:49,817 --> 00:00:51,483
- What's wrong, mike,
are you choking?
26
00:00:51,618 --> 00:00:53,151
- Pop:
Choking on what?
27
00:00:53,220 --> 00:00:55,087
That food was
boiled to death.
28
00:00:55,089 --> 00:00:56,488
Ask him
if he's drowning.
29
00:00:57,424 --> 00:00:59,258
- Will you
turn on the news?
30
00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:01,192
The cucumbers!
The cucumbers are ready!
31
00:01:03,630 --> 00:01:05,731
- After 500 years of cod fish,
32
00:01:05,733 --> 00:01:08,867
The government felt it was timeto modernize their economy.
33
00:01:08,869 --> 00:01:10,702
And nothing says modern like...
34
00:01:10,738 --> 00:01:12,137
- Tv reporter: Cucumbers.
35
00:01:12,272 --> 00:01:14,206
That's right, cucumbers.
36
00:01:14,341 --> 00:01:16,041
Premier peckford announced today
37
00:01:16,176 --> 00:01:18,243
That the government-funded sprung greenhouse
38
00:01:18,245 --> 00:01:19,845
Has produced the province's first batch
39
00:01:19,914 --> 00:01:21,513
Of hydroponically-grown cucumbers.
40
00:01:21,648 --> 00:01:24,215
Thanks to new technology, they can now take a cucumber
41
00:01:24,251 --> 00:01:27,085
From seedling to grocery aisle in just six days.
42
00:01:27,220 --> 00:01:29,521
The premier says it's the start of the green economy
43
00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:32,491
And that $22 million is a small price to pay
44
00:01:32,626 --> 00:01:34,159
For prosperity.
45
00:01:34,161 --> 00:01:36,461
- News anchor: That's our own melissa stoke--
46
00:01:36,464 --> 00:01:37,930
- Remember this day.
47
00:01:37,932 --> 00:01:39,598
The day newfoundland
turned the corner.
48
00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:42,334
We are officially
a cucumber province.
49
00:01:42,336 --> 00:01:43,802
- Are you cracked?
50
00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:45,337
Nobody here
likes cucumbers.
51
00:01:45,406 --> 00:01:46,505
- I do.
52
00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:48,640
That greenhouse
is buying advertising time
53
00:01:48,676 --> 00:01:50,775
On the station so,
from now on,
54
00:01:50,811 --> 00:01:53,078
This is a cucumber house!
55
00:01:53,147 --> 00:01:55,280
- You can't grow
anything here.
56
00:01:55,349 --> 00:01:57,549
Newfoundland is a rock.
57
00:01:57,585 --> 00:02:00,085
The soil is as deep
and fertile
58
00:02:00,087 --> 00:02:02,154
As that stuff
in a cat's litter box.
59
00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:03,421
- What's a cucumber?
60
00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:05,357
- It's a fruit.
- It's a vegetable.
61
00:02:05,359 --> 00:02:07,425
- It's a dry pickle.
62
00:02:07,495 --> 00:02:09,294
- They'll never catch on.
63
00:02:09,330 --> 00:02:11,563
I get my greens
second-hand.
64
00:02:11,599 --> 00:02:13,231
Rabbit eats
the lettuce.
65
00:02:13,267 --> 00:02:14,633
I eat the rabbit.
66
00:02:14,702 --> 00:02:17,402
- Imagine all the things
you could grow hydroponically.
67
00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:19,037
Non-traditional crops.
68
00:02:19,039 --> 00:02:21,106
- This wasn't really news to my brother
69
00:02:21,108 --> 00:02:22,907
Who had already been experimenting
70
00:02:22,943 --> 00:02:24,509
With his own non-traditional crops.
71
00:02:24,512 --> 00:02:25,911
[psychedelic music]
72
00:02:26,914 --> 00:02:28,714
- Imagine the
spin-off industries:
73
00:02:28,716 --> 00:02:30,916
Cucumber salads,
pickles,
74
00:02:30,985 --> 00:02:34,986
Some hollywood starlets even put
cucumber slices on their eyes!
75
00:02:35,055 --> 00:02:38,122
- You think you're going to sell
cucumbers to californians?
76
00:02:38,159 --> 00:02:40,058
That's like them
selling us fog.
77
00:02:40,060 --> 00:02:42,060
- We could ship them frozen.
78
00:02:42,129 --> 00:02:44,129
I-I prefer my vegetables
that way
79
00:02:44,131 --> 00:02:45,664
Like peas
or french fries.
80
00:02:45,733 --> 00:02:48,266
- Well, you can worry about
things you're never gonna eat
81
00:02:48,335 --> 00:02:51,403
After you eat what you got
on your bloody plates.
82
00:02:51,405 --> 00:02:52,837
♪♪
83
00:02:54,041 --> 00:02:55,473
[pop groans]
84
00:02:57,678 --> 00:03:00,812
- The next day, cucumber-mania was rampant at school.
85
00:03:00,814 --> 00:03:02,147
- Did you know
86
00:03:02,216 --> 00:03:04,750
That cucumbers
are 95% water?
87
00:03:04,752 --> 00:03:06,952
- Nobody here
eats cucumbers, sister.
88
00:03:07,021 --> 00:03:08,353
- Well, I will
have you know,
89
00:03:08,389 --> 00:03:09,821
On average,
90
00:03:09,823 --> 00:03:13,091
A newfoundlander eats
a half a cucumber every year.
91
00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:15,827
That's about
250,000 cucumbers.
92
00:03:17,097 --> 00:03:19,831
- And how much is a cucumber
at the supermarket now?
93
00:03:19,967 --> 00:03:21,700
- Well, I don't
buy them myself
94
00:03:21,769 --> 00:03:23,902
But it says here
that they cost
95
00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:25,437
50 cents.
96
00:03:25,572 --> 00:03:29,641
- And how much does one of them
freak cucumbers cost to grow?
97
00:03:29,776 --> 00:03:31,577
- Uh, $27.50.
98
00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:34,646
Oh, well,
that can't be right.
99
00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:36,715
That doesn't make
any sense at all.
100
00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:38,116
[school bell]
101
00:03:38,252 --> 00:03:39,550
Oh, god.
102
00:03:41,855 --> 00:03:43,321
[light chatter]
103
00:03:47,695 --> 00:03:50,061
- I got ketchup chips.
What'd you get?
104
00:03:50,130 --> 00:03:51,195
- Dill pickle.
105
00:03:51,232 --> 00:03:52,764
- You mean
cucumber now.
106
00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:54,532
[chuckles]
107
00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:56,301
- Paula:
Attention, please!
108
00:03:56,370 --> 00:03:58,403
As many of you
are aware,
109
00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:00,438
I'm about to become
a teenager.
110
00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:02,474
[light applause]
111
00:04:05,212 --> 00:04:06,678
- Paula fanning.
112
00:04:06,714 --> 00:04:08,547
Her father owned two dairy queens.
113
00:04:08,682 --> 00:04:10,349
She was a dairy princess
114
00:04:10,484 --> 00:04:12,884
And easily the richest girl in school.
115
00:04:12,953 --> 00:04:15,654
Her father could have bought all the cucumbers they wanted.
116
00:04:15,656 --> 00:04:19,224
- To celebrate, I'm having
a birthday party this weekend.
117
00:04:19,359 --> 00:04:20,591
[excited reactions]
118
00:04:20,628 --> 00:04:22,393
My address
is in the invitation.
119
00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:25,229
- A party at paula's house!
120
00:04:25,266 --> 00:04:28,166
It was rumoured that she had an indoor swimming pool.
121
00:04:29,470 --> 00:04:31,769
Not that I would ever take off my shirt in public.
122
00:04:36,143 --> 00:04:38,476
- Wow, a coupon
for a free sundae!
123
00:04:39,379 --> 00:04:40,912
- I wanted a free sundae
124
00:04:41,048 --> 00:04:43,381
But what I really wanted was an invitation.
125
00:04:44,584 --> 00:04:46,651
Up to this point,I had made very little impact
126
00:04:46,687 --> 00:04:48,453
On the st. Bridget's social scene.
127
00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:52,256
- You ask her.
128
00:04:52,293 --> 00:04:54,726
- I can't talk to
paula fanning
129
00:04:54,762 --> 00:04:56,327
With ketchup dust
fingers!
130
00:04:59,066 --> 00:05:00,498
(quietly)
- paula.
131
00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:03,935
Paula.
132
00:05:05,939 --> 00:05:07,472
(normal voice)
paula!
133
00:05:07,508 --> 00:05:08,907
- What?
134
00:05:10,010 --> 00:05:11,476
- Do we...
135
00:05:11,512 --> 00:05:13,144
We didn't...
136
00:05:13,180 --> 00:05:14,445
- Oh,
137
00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:16,013
You want
an invitation?
138
00:05:16,050 --> 00:05:17,615
[laughter]
139
00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:19,351
Sorry.
140
00:05:19,353 --> 00:05:20,652
My parents said
141
00:05:20,721 --> 00:05:22,420
I couldn't invite
the whole class.
142
00:05:22,456 --> 00:05:24,022
I'm sure
you understand.
143
00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:26,424
- Huh, they're the only two
not invited.
144
00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:29,193
- No, we're not.
Fox didn't get invited either.
145
00:05:29,229 --> 00:05:31,596
- What'd you say?
- Nothing.
146
00:05:31,732 --> 00:05:33,298
- I don't want to go
to that prissy party.
147
00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:35,099
- Me either.
I can't go, anyway.
148
00:05:35,135 --> 00:05:36,768
Me and ritchie
have plans.
149
00:05:36,804 --> 00:05:39,704
- Oh, really?
What's bigger than my party?
150
00:05:39,707 --> 00:05:42,240
- I'm sleeping over at his house
this weekend.
151
00:05:42,242 --> 00:05:43,909
- Yes.
Wait, what?
152
00:05:43,911 --> 00:05:45,510
Oh, yeah.
153
00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:47,712
- No one had ever seen where I lived before.
154
00:05:47,715 --> 00:05:48,980
I dreaded the thought.
155
00:05:49,116 --> 00:05:50,649
Surely this was just talk
156
00:05:50,651 --> 00:05:52,183
And we wouldn't have to go through with it!
157
00:05:52,219 --> 00:05:53,485
- Oh, yeah?
158
00:05:53,487 --> 00:05:55,686
Guess I'll see you
on the bus, then.
159
00:05:55,723 --> 00:05:57,188
[mischievous music]
160
00:06:04,498 --> 00:06:06,164
- How long is this
gonna take?
161
00:06:06,299 --> 00:06:07,865
- I just have to interview
the first person
162
00:06:07,901 --> 00:06:09,267
To buy a cucumber.
163
00:06:09,269 --> 00:06:10,936
Now, the station really
needs this account, mary,
164
00:06:10,938 --> 00:06:13,805
So, please, don't talk
to me again until I'm done.
165
00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:15,006
- Oh, they're
never gonna sell.
166
00:06:15,008 --> 00:06:16,474
What are you supposed
to do with 'em?
167
00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:18,843
I mean, you could boil
it or something.
168
00:06:19,613 --> 00:06:20,946
- Attention,
shoppers.
169
00:06:21,982 --> 00:06:24,248
Who'd like to go live
on the radio?
170
00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:27,685
How are ya?
171
00:06:31,225 --> 00:06:33,892
Mike critch, live on the scene
at coleman's grocery
172
00:06:33,961 --> 00:06:35,426
In st. John's.
173
00:06:36,963 --> 00:06:39,164
And I'm here with
the first housewife
174
00:06:39,233 --> 00:06:40,499
To buy a cucumber.
175
00:06:40,634 --> 00:06:42,233
Congratulations,
madam.
176
00:06:42,269 --> 00:06:43,734
[air horn blows]
177
00:06:43,771 --> 00:06:45,270
[air horn
onto table]
178
00:06:45,272 --> 00:06:47,438
- I thought I wasn't allowed
to say anything.
179
00:06:47,474 --> 00:06:50,642
- Will you give this up?
I need for you to stop it!
180
00:06:50,711 --> 00:06:52,377
Please.
181
00:06:52,379 --> 00:06:53,911
- Well,
182
00:06:53,947 --> 00:06:56,714
I might make a nice pot
of cucumber soufflé
183
00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:58,784
There tonight
for my husband.
184
00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:00,318
See if he likes that.
185
00:07:01,788 --> 00:07:03,722
He's a bit of a picky arsehole,
so we'll have to wait and see.
186
00:07:03,857 --> 00:07:05,156
- And there
you have it.
187
00:07:05,159 --> 00:07:07,726
Yes, the cucumbers
are flying off the shelves
188
00:07:07,728 --> 00:07:09,861
Here at coleman's grocery
in st. John's.
189
00:07:09,996 --> 00:07:13,331
Mike critch, first on the scene
for the vocm news.
190
00:07:13,333 --> 00:07:14,866
-Hm.
191
00:07:14,902 --> 00:07:16,334
[wheels and
glass items rattle]
192
00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:19,404
- Despite my best efforts,
193
00:07:19,539 --> 00:07:22,139
It seemed ritchie was sleeping over after all.
194
00:07:22,176 --> 00:07:24,242
- Have fun on your honeymoon,
losers!
195
00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:28,680
- Are you sure
you want to do this?
196
00:07:28,749 --> 00:07:30,815
- I don't have to come over
if you don't want.
197
00:07:30,818 --> 00:07:32,884
I just said that to paula
to make us look good.
198
00:07:33,019 --> 00:07:35,019
But then I thought
it might be fun.
199
00:07:36,356 --> 00:07:38,089
- I should
let you know,
200
00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:39,590
My house is a little...
201
00:07:40,761 --> 00:07:42,293
Different.
202
00:07:42,329 --> 00:07:43,428
- Don't worry.
203
00:07:43,563 --> 00:07:45,363
I know your dad
is on the radio
204
00:07:45,365 --> 00:07:48,166
So you don't have to be
embarrassed about being rich.
205
00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:51,436
- The 'c' in 'critch' was most certainly not silent,
206
00:07:51,571 --> 00:07:53,338
As ritchie was about to learn.
207
00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:54,906
[rock music]
208
00:07:59,446 --> 00:08:01,012
Jazz music]
209
00:08:01,014 --> 00:08:02,480
[water boiling]
210
00:08:10,357 --> 00:08:11,822
[post lid clattering
onto pot]
211
00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:14,392
[heavy breathing]
212
00:08:14,428 --> 00:08:16,460
- Ritchie's here!
He's sleeping over!
213
00:08:16,497 --> 00:08:18,129
No time to explain!
214
00:08:18,131 --> 00:08:20,232
Please be on your
best behaviour!
215
00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:21,366
- That's nice.
216
00:08:21,368 --> 00:08:22,534
- Pop, gross!
217
00:08:22,603 --> 00:08:24,369
- Hey, I haven't
finished yet.
218
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,504
One hand's
longer than the other!
219
00:08:27,107 --> 00:08:28,339
[knocking on door]
220
00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:31,543
- Please do not
embarrass me!
221
00:08:31,545 --> 00:08:33,010
[upbeat music]
222
00:08:34,114 --> 00:08:36,748
Oh, don't know how you
got locked out -- weird.
223
00:08:36,817 --> 00:08:39,150
Oh, well,
welcome to our house!
224
00:08:39,152 --> 00:08:41,887
Ritchie - everyone.
Everyone - ritchie.
225
00:08:43,490 --> 00:08:44,956
- Mary:
Who's that?
226
00:08:45,425 --> 00:08:46,857
- Ritchie.
227
00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:49,093
- Two beds?
228
00:08:49,129 --> 00:08:50,828
Cool!
Is this one mine?
229
00:08:55,168 --> 00:08:56,568
- Don't mind me.
230
00:08:57,771 --> 00:08:59,937
Just thought I'd get 40 winks
before dinner.
231
00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:02,774
Get off my bed,
youngster!
232
00:09:03,510 --> 00:09:04,976
Huss!
233
00:09:07,681 --> 00:09:09,314
Ohh, ah!
234
00:09:10,517 --> 00:09:11,983
Oh, yeah.
Nice, nice.
235
00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:14,986
- You sleep
with your grandfather?
236
00:09:15,589 --> 00:09:17,121
- No.
237
00:09:17,190 --> 00:09:18,990
Why would you
say that?
238
00:09:19,026 --> 00:09:21,326
- 'cuz he's sleeping
in your room.
239
00:09:21,395 --> 00:09:22,794
[snoring]
240
00:09:24,598 --> 00:09:26,664
- I let him sleep here
sometimes.
241
00:09:27,601 --> 00:09:29,634
But, trust me,
you will not notice him.
242
00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:31,670
- Oh!
Aww!
243
00:09:32,940 --> 00:09:34,405
[mumbling]
244
00:09:35,275 --> 00:09:36,741
[sputtering]
245
00:09:36,876 --> 00:09:38,543
- Wanna go see
the living room?
246
00:09:39,613 --> 00:09:41,279
Okay.
247
00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:42,814
- Ohh.
248
00:09:42,883 --> 00:09:44,549
Cucumbers are
getting mushy.
249
00:09:44,618 --> 00:09:46,217
[knocking at door]
250
00:09:46,219 --> 00:09:47,918
Frig sake.
251
00:09:49,890 --> 00:09:50,955
- Hello, ma'am.
252
00:09:50,958 --> 00:09:52,324
May mark come out
to play?
253
00:09:52,459 --> 00:09:55,059
- My god, mark's never
had this many visitors.
254
00:09:56,129 --> 00:09:58,363
Oh, come on in, dear,
they're in his room.
255
00:09:58,365 --> 00:10:00,031
- Thank you kindly,
mrs. Critch.
256
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:01,633
- Mm-hm.
257
00:10:01,702 --> 00:10:03,101
[calm music]
258
00:10:04,204 --> 00:10:05,637
Just down the hall.
259
00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:09,707
Hm.
260
00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:12,343
- What's in here?
261
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:15,780
Who sleeps here?
262
00:10:15,915 --> 00:10:17,315
- My parents.
263
00:10:18,485 --> 00:10:20,751
- How come they sleep
in two beds?
264
00:10:21,822 --> 00:10:23,588
- So, this is
your room?
265
00:10:23,590 --> 00:10:25,056
Kinda makes sense,
I guess.
266
00:10:25,191 --> 00:10:26,291
- Fox?!
267
00:10:26,426 --> 00:10:28,192
Don't touch that.
It's $3 a bottle!
268
00:10:28,228 --> 00:10:29,494
[slams bottle
onto dresser]
269
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,862
Fox, what are you
doing here?
270
00:10:32,832 --> 00:10:34,732
- Got the bus driver
to let me off.
271
00:10:34,768 --> 00:10:37,669
Wanted to see what you freaks
were really up to.
272
00:10:37,738 --> 00:10:40,472
Man, this bedroom's creepy,
even for you.
273
00:10:40,607 --> 00:10:42,474
- This is his parents'
bedroom.
274
00:10:42,609 --> 00:10:45,209
Mark sleeps across the hall
with his grandfather.
275
00:10:45,245 --> 00:10:46,678
- So, your parents
don't bone?
276
00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:47,879
- You're not helping.
277
00:10:47,948 --> 00:10:49,347
And I don't know what
you're talking about.
278
00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:50,581
- Sometimes,
279
00:10:50,617 --> 00:10:52,616
Like on a long weekend
or dad's birthday,
280
00:10:52,653 --> 00:10:53,618
Parents will-
281
00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:55,553
- I know what she means,
ritchie!
282
00:10:55,622 --> 00:10:58,356
- So, then,
are you adopted or what?
283
00:11:00,460 --> 00:11:01,959
[electric guitar note]
284
00:11:02,029 --> 00:11:03,428
- Get out
of my house!
285
00:11:03,563 --> 00:11:05,630
- No, you get out
of your house!
286
00:11:05,632 --> 00:11:07,298
[grunts and groans]
287
00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:08,833
[mischievous music]
288
00:11:08,869 --> 00:11:10,301
- Give me--
289
00:11:11,705 --> 00:11:13,237
- The government didn't know
290
00:11:13,273 --> 00:11:14,706
That improperly bottled cucumbers
291
00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:16,574
Sometimes explodedue to gas-emitting bacteria.
292
00:11:16,643 --> 00:11:18,109
[frustrated sigh]
293
00:11:18,244 --> 00:11:20,445
They were mass-producing cucum-bombs.
294
00:11:20,580 --> 00:11:21,679
[loud hiss]
295
00:11:21,715 --> 00:11:23,114
- Good news, mary!
296
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:25,249
The brass at the station
gave us some cucumbers to try.
297
00:11:25,285 --> 00:11:27,852
We're going to be eating
like the jetsons tonight!
298
00:11:28,789 --> 00:11:30,421
- Get those things
out of here.
299
00:11:31,291 --> 00:11:32,724
- Mark: Help!
300
00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:35,426
Stop!
301
00:11:35,462 --> 00:11:36,827
- Ow.
302
00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:38,796
[whining]
- mark: Stop
303
00:11:38,832 --> 00:11:40,198
Stop!
304
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,400
- I didn't know
the boy had it in him.
305
00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:43,667
- She's an intruder!
306
00:11:43,704 --> 00:11:45,870
- You have a lovely bedroom,
mrs. Critch.
307
00:11:46,005 --> 00:11:47,639
- Lovely of you
to say.
308
00:11:48,742 --> 00:11:49,808
Would you like to
stay for supper, dear?
309
00:11:49,943 --> 00:11:51,509
- Why, yes,
please.
310
00:11:51,545 --> 00:11:53,811
I'll call mom
to come get me later.
311
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:56,214
- What do you kids
think about cucumbers?
312
00:11:56,349 --> 00:11:58,550
- They're okay, I guess.
- Oh, they're lovely.
313
00:11:59,319 --> 00:12:00,918
- Good.
314
00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:02,353
Good.
315
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:06,891
[foreboding
music]
316
00:12:07,026 --> 00:12:10,094
- When word got out,my social life would be over.
317
00:12:10,163 --> 00:12:12,196
That is, if I survived the weekend.
318
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:16,100
- Here come
the boiled cucumbers.
319
00:12:16,103 --> 00:12:17,502
[gasp]
and gravy.
320
00:12:17,637 --> 00:12:19,237
- Pop:
Oh, hm.
321
00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:21,306
- Company meant we used the dining room,
322
00:12:21,441 --> 00:12:23,575
Usually saved for special occasions.
323
00:12:24,478 --> 00:12:26,711
- Mary: Oh, look,
another card.
324
00:12:26,713 --> 00:12:28,379
Let's see
who it's from.
325
00:12:28,448 --> 00:12:30,581
Happy birthday
from randall insurance.
326
00:12:30,617 --> 00:12:32,450
- Tom mcadam
or jeff peddle?
327
00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:34,385
- Ah, both.
[laughs]
328
00:12:34,387 --> 00:12:35,720
Blow out
your candles.
329
00:12:35,789 --> 00:12:38,189
♪♪ happy birthday to--
330
00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:39,924
- I must say,
mrs. Critch,
331
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:41,826
I've never had
hot cucumber before.
332
00:12:41,862 --> 00:12:44,462
- I'll have to get the recipe.
- Oh.
333
00:12:44,531 --> 00:12:47,064
Well, it's not the first time
we've had cucumbers, of course.
334
00:12:47,134 --> 00:12:48,466
We often have them,
don't you know?
335
00:12:48,535 --> 00:12:51,069
- Am I supposed to eat it
or-or drink it?
336
00:12:51,071 --> 00:12:53,471
- Good god,
there's no taste to it at all.
337
00:12:53,473 --> 00:12:54,872
- You hate flavour.
338
00:12:55,008 --> 00:12:56,908
- I need a tums now.
339
00:12:56,910 --> 00:12:58,342
Too much
exotic food!
340
00:12:58,378 --> 00:13:00,077
- Mary:
Try one with gravy.
341
00:13:01,148 --> 00:13:03,113
- Where's he gonna sleep,
my bed?
342
00:13:03,150 --> 00:13:05,216
Oh, I-I can do the math.
343
00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:07,819
I suppose it's the home
for me, then, is it?
344
00:13:07,821 --> 00:13:10,621
Drop me off at the harbour,
why don't ya?
345
00:13:10,657 --> 00:13:12,257
Just put me out
on an ice floe!
346
00:13:12,259 --> 00:13:14,425
- Next time someone mentions
a g.D. Cucumber,
347
00:13:14,494 --> 00:13:16,227
I'm gonna shove one
up their arse!
348
00:13:16,263 --> 00:13:17,928
- Cucumber, cucumber,
cucumber!
349
00:13:18,698 --> 00:13:20,231
[exasperated
exclamation]
350
00:13:20,267 --> 00:13:21,699
What?
351
00:13:21,768 --> 00:13:23,301
Do you want
my grave next?
352
00:13:23,436 --> 00:13:24,969
Is that it?
353
00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:26,437
[gloomy music]
354
00:13:34,447 --> 00:13:36,914
- Aren't we supposed to
tell secrets at sleepovers?
355
00:13:38,118 --> 00:13:39,584
- Pop:
You first.
356
00:13:39,653 --> 00:13:41,118
Was that
your girlfriend?
357
00:13:41,188 --> 00:13:42,319
- No.
358
00:13:42,355 --> 00:13:43,654
She's his bully.
359
00:13:43,690 --> 00:13:44,789
- Shut up!
360
00:13:44,858 --> 00:13:46,991
Fox is gonna tell everyone
I'm a weirdo.
361
00:13:46,993 --> 00:13:48,660
Why else would she
come here?
362
00:13:48,795 --> 00:13:51,195
- People do stupid stuff
when they're lonely.
363
00:13:52,299 --> 00:13:54,265
- Well, that is some
boring gossip.
364
00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:55,934
I'm going to bed.
365
00:13:58,805 --> 00:14:00,271
[groaning]
366
00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:03,107
[sighs]
367
00:14:03,143 --> 00:14:04,542
- Why is
the room glowing?
368
00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:07,211
- That's just the light
from the sprung greenhouse.
369
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:09,047
You can see it
from space.
370
00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:10,715
- The sprung greenhouse
371
00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:12,884
Was located on the outskirts of town
372
00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:15,520
Which meant that my room was bathed nightly
373
00:14:15,522 --> 00:14:17,822
In the amber hydroponic glow
374
00:14:17,824 --> 00:14:20,124
Of the mad scientist's cucumber factory.
375
00:14:21,027 --> 00:14:22,760
- I don't even
notice it anymore.
376
00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:24,629
[pop coughing]
377
00:14:25,999 --> 00:14:27,464
[coughing
continues]
378
00:14:29,302 --> 00:14:30,868
[groaning]
379
00:14:30,871 --> 00:14:32,303
- Mike sr.: Hold still.
380
00:14:33,807 --> 00:14:35,039
I can't get the calamine lotionon your burns if you're moving.
381
00:14:35,041 --> 00:14:37,441
- Mary: Ow, mike, you got handslike a bloody gorilla!
382
00:14:37,477 --> 00:14:38,976
- It's from typing!
383
00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:40,445
- That stings.
384
00:14:41,047 --> 00:14:42,647
- Hey...
385
00:14:42,649 --> 00:14:45,282
Maybe we can sleep over
at my house tomorrow?
386
00:14:46,653 --> 00:14:48,052
- Yeah.
387
00:14:48,187 --> 00:14:49,620
That might be nice.
388
00:14:50,523 --> 00:14:51,656
- Mike sr.: Stop squirming.
389
00:14:51,658 --> 00:14:53,725
Maybe try some margarine on it.
390
00:14:53,727 --> 00:14:55,192
[pop groaning loudly]
391
00:14:59,599 --> 00:15:00,998
Big band music]
392
00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:06,704
- Oh, got too much
too much.
393
00:15:08,074 --> 00:15:10,942
- And how long
are you going for, a month?
394
00:15:10,944 --> 00:15:12,977
- You think
I packed too much?
395
00:15:12,979 --> 00:15:16,347
- Not unless you're planning
on beating peary to the pole.
396
00:15:16,383 --> 00:15:18,082
Here, let me
have a look.
397
00:15:18,118 --> 00:15:21,886
Maybe there's a couple of things
in here you could do without.
398
00:15:22,021 --> 00:15:23,487
Oh!
399
00:15:23,556 --> 00:15:25,156
1939
400
00:15:25,158 --> 00:15:27,425
King george
commemorative mug?
401
00:15:27,494 --> 00:15:29,160
- I like a cup of tea
before bed.
402
00:15:29,295 --> 00:15:30,761
1- okay, well...
403
00:15:31,631 --> 00:15:33,263
Two pairs of pajamas?
404
00:15:33,300 --> 00:15:34,632
- That set
is flannel.
405
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:37,168
I don't know how cold
he keeps his room.
406
00:15:37,237 --> 00:15:38,769
- Oh, potted meat,
407
00:15:38,838 --> 00:15:40,238
Noxzema.
408
00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:42,907
A loaf of bread.
409
00:15:43,042 --> 00:15:44,508
[crinkling]
410
00:15:45,912 --> 00:15:47,378
Toilet paper.
411
00:15:47,948 --> 00:15:49,380
Mark,
412
00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:51,382
You don't need
any of this stuff.
413
00:15:52,519 --> 00:15:54,785
- I've never been invited
to a sleepover before.
414
00:15:56,055 --> 00:15:58,088
- You don't have to
be worried.
415
00:15:59,058 --> 00:16:00,858
Listen, all families
are different
416
00:16:00,927 --> 00:16:02,126
And yet,
417
00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:04,094
All families
are the same.
418
00:16:05,198 --> 00:16:07,198
You know, there's things
you don't like about his
419
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:10,434
And things that he probably
doesn't like about here.
420
00:16:11,070 --> 00:16:12,569
But all I do know,
421
00:16:12,605 --> 00:16:15,005
With all this stuff,
you'll look like a fool.
422
00:16:16,009 --> 00:16:17,608
And you don't need
any help doing that
423
00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:20,945
Because your parents have you
well covered in that department.
424
00:16:20,947 --> 00:16:23,348
[tender music]
[both chuckle]
425
00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:25,682
- Ritchie's house was a suburban dream.
426
00:16:25,719 --> 00:16:28,285
A vinyl siding wrapped bungalow
427
00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:31,222
With fancy stepsand a postage stamp-sized yard.
428
00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:35,960
- You have a second
living room downstairs?
429
00:16:36,029 --> 00:16:37,962
- Sorry, it's
our lame rec room.
430
00:16:38,097 --> 00:16:40,498
- I had never heard of a rec room before.
431
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:41,932
- But we can watch
movie channel,
432
00:16:42,002 --> 00:16:43,701
Play atari.
You like pitfall?
433
00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:45,803
We have the
commodore 64 too.
434
00:16:45,938 --> 00:16:49,840
- It was at that exact moment that I realized I was poor.
435
00:16:49,876 --> 00:16:51,909
- Do your parents
sleep in the same bed?
436
00:16:51,911 --> 00:16:53,344
- Yeah, they have
a waterbed.
437
00:16:53,413 --> 00:16:54,746
But I have two beds
in my room.
438
00:16:54,881 --> 00:16:56,547
Well, it's a bunk bed
but still...
439
00:16:57,250 --> 00:16:58,715
- Oh.
440
00:16:59,319 --> 00:17:00,918
You must think
441
00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:02,453
I'm pretty weird, huh?
442
00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:04,121
- No, your house is...
443
00:17:04,591 --> 00:17:06,156
Different,
444
00:17:06,192 --> 00:17:07,792
Like, but really cool.
445
00:17:07,927 --> 00:17:10,060
I never saw someone
shine shoes before.
446
00:17:10,997 --> 00:17:12,529
- Yeah, but
you've got everything.
447
00:17:12,565 --> 00:17:14,331
- But what good is that
if I don't have anyone
448
00:17:14,401 --> 00:17:15,933
To use it with?
449
00:17:16,002 --> 00:17:17,402
- Hello.
450
00:17:19,739 --> 00:17:21,338
You must be mark.
451
00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:23,474
I'm so happy
ritchie has a friend!
452
00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:25,610
I brought you boys
some snacks.
453
00:17:25,745 --> 00:17:28,479
Your father and I are going out
to a dinner tonight.
454
00:17:28,614 --> 00:17:30,414
I left the phone number
on the wall.
455
00:17:30,417 --> 00:17:32,349
So good meeting you, mark.
456
00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:34,418
- A pleasure.
- Um-hm.
457
00:17:34,421 --> 00:17:35,820
- Thanks, mom.
458
00:17:36,823 --> 00:17:38,156
- They leave you alone?
[doorbell]
459
00:17:38,291 --> 00:17:39,690
Cool.
460
00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:42,226
- They work a lot at the
hospital but I'm used to it.
461
00:17:42,262 --> 00:17:43,361
- My parents
never go out.
462
00:17:43,496 --> 00:17:44,762
There's always
somebody home.
463
00:17:44,764 --> 00:17:45,963
- Lucky.
464
00:17:46,699 --> 00:17:47,965
- Ritchie,
465
00:17:48,034 --> 00:17:49,700
You have
another friend here!
466
00:17:49,769 --> 00:17:51,302
She's very pretty.
467
00:17:51,371 --> 00:17:53,237
- Why, thank you,
mrs. Perez.
468
00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:55,306
- What a lovely home you have.
- Oh.
469
00:17:55,375 --> 00:17:56,874
- Fox was like dracula.
470
00:17:56,910 --> 00:17:59,043
She couldn't enter your home unless she was invited in.
471
00:17:59,112 --> 00:18:00,844
But once she crossed your threshold,
472
00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:02,647
You were as good as dead.
473
00:18:02,782 --> 00:18:03,714
- Nice pad, perez.
474
00:18:03,850 --> 00:18:05,650
Better than that dick's
cocoon house.
475
00:18:05,652 --> 00:18:07,985
- Uh, what are you
doing here?
476
00:18:07,987 --> 00:18:09,720
- I've come to get you
for paula's party.
477
00:18:09,722 --> 00:18:11,656
- We weren't invited.
478
00:18:11,658 --> 00:18:13,591
- That's exactly
why we're going.
479
00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:14,725
She didn't invite us,
480
00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:16,527
So we're going to go there
and wreck it.
481
00:18:16,662 --> 00:18:17,928
Look!
482
00:18:17,997 --> 00:18:20,131
We take these and throw them
at the house.
483
00:18:20,133 --> 00:18:21,532
Cover it
in squished cucumber.
484
00:18:21,667 --> 00:18:24,134
- Cucumbers are hard.
They won't squish.
485
00:18:25,171 --> 00:18:26,737
- God, you're so lame!
486
00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:29,340
- If we're so lame, then
how come you keep following us?
487
00:18:29,475 --> 00:18:30,908
- I'm not following you!
488
00:18:30,977 --> 00:18:33,010
- You don't have to make up
a reason to come over.
489
00:18:33,012 --> 00:18:34,145
- Trust me,
490
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,681
I don't want to stay here
with you geeks!
491
00:18:37,417 --> 00:18:38,716
Fine.
492
00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:39,984
If you guys
don't want to help me,
493
00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:41,585
I'll just do it myself.
494
00:18:41,654 --> 00:18:43,754
- I realized then, for the first time,
495
00:18:43,823 --> 00:18:45,823
That fox didn't want to bully us.
496
00:18:45,825 --> 00:18:47,091
She wanted to be our friend.
497
00:18:47,226 --> 00:18:48,926
She just didn't know how.
498
00:18:49,496 --> 00:18:50,961
- Fox, uh...
499
00:18:51,030 --> 00:18:52,630
Why don't
you stay?
500
00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:54,332
Three people
can play this one.
501
00:19:00,340 --> 00:19:01,772
- Screw off.
502
00:19:03,309 --> 00:19:04,909
[melancholy music
and woman vocalizing]
503
00:19:06,379 --> 00:19:07,844
[video game
sound effects]
504
00:19:09,616 --> 00:19:11,081
- Mark:
So...
505
00:19:21,895 --> 00:19:24,462
- Home's a place you grow up wanting to leave
506
00:19:24,597 --> 00:19:26,930
And grow old wanting to come back to.
507
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,700
Ritchie had everything I ever wanted.
508
00:19:30,970 --> 00:19:32,336
But as I lay there,
509
00:19:32,405 --> 00:19:34,471
In a different room in a new house,
510
00:19:34,473 --> 00:19:35,673
All I wanted
511
00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:37,341
Was to hear pop snoring.
512
00:19:37,377 --> 00:19:38,842
[tender music]
513
00:19:40,647 --> 00:19:42,646
- If cucumbers
are the future,
514
00:19:43,616 --> 00:19:46,083
We really are in
one helluva...
515
00:19:46,152 --> 00:19:47,585
Pickle.
516
00:19:50,490 --> 00:19:53,023
Those cucumbers really did
wonders for your skin.
517
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:55,259
You look
just like a...
518
00:19:55,394 --> 00:19:56,994
Hollywood actress.
519
00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:02,567
- As small as a home is,
520
00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:05,302
It's never small enough to keep the people you love
521
00:20:05,338 --> 00:20:06,803
Close to you.
522
00:20:08,408 --> 00:20:10,007
[doorbell]
523
00:20:10,009 --> 00:20:11,442
[excited
conversations]
524
00:20:11,577 --> 00:20:12,977
- Girl: Stop!
525
00:20:15,181 --> 00:20:18,115
- Sometimes, the biggest of houses can feel empty
526
00:20:18,251 --> 00:20:19,683
Even when it's filled.
527
00:20:27,793 --> 00:20:29,393
[loud hiss]
[scream]
528
00:20:29,395 --> 00:20:30,927
- Paula: Gross!
529
00:20:30,964 --> 00:20:32,997
- And, sometimes, people are most at home
530
00:20:33,132 --> 00:20:34,564
All on their own.
531
00:20:36,869 --> 00:20:37,935
- Woo-hoo!
532
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:39,603
[emotional music
continues]
533
00:20:39,606 --> 00:20:40,938
- Tv reporter: This just in:
534
00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:42,440
The sprung greenhouse,
535
00:20:42,575 --> 00:20:45,676
Built at a cost to taxpayers of $22 million,
536
00:20:45,712 --> 00:20:47,811
Has closed just months after it opened.
537
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:50,447
Thousands of cucumbers remain unsold.
538
00:20:50,483 --> 00:20:53,150
Area grocers are offering them for free to farmers
539
00:20:53,219 --> 00:20:54,951
To feed their cows.
540
00:20:54,988 --> 00:20:56,554
- Thank christ
that's over.
541
00:20:56,556 --> 00:20:58,955
Mary, do we have
any cans of corned beef?
542
00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:02,559
- I guess what really makes a house a home
543
00:21:02,629 --> 00:21:05,262
Is knowing you can always come back to it.
544
00:21:07,700 --> 00:21:09,633
And that someone is waiting for you
545
00:21:09,636 --> 00:21:11,101
When you do.
546
00:21:11,971 --> 00:21:13,437
♪♪ home
547
00:21:23,116 --> 00:21:24,581
[upbeat jazz music]
45334
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