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1
00:00:01,877 --> 00:00:05,338
- I had written myself notes.
I only have five minutes.
2
00:00:05,339 --> 00:00:07,673
I didn't want to spend
the entire time rambling.
3
00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:09,467
- It's okay if you ramble.
4
00:00:09,468 --> 00:00:12,303
- No, it's not. [clears throat]
- Yes, it is.
5
00:00:12,304 --> 00:00:14,264
- No, it's not. I don't...
6
00:00:15,349 --> 00:00:19,519
It's right here, so....
7
00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:21,270
Um...
8
00:00:21,271 --> 00:00:24,106
I...
[inhales deeply]
9
00:00:24,107 --> 00:00:26,484
I was online yesterday
10
00:00:26,485 --> 00:00:29,278
and, um, a bunch of people
had posted links
11
00:00:29,279 --> 00:00:31,239
to this infographic, and...
12
00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:32,990
Sorry, does everyone know
what that...
13
00:00:32,991 --> 00:00:35,952
It's a... it's a cartoon
that illustrates statistics.
14
00:00:35,953 --> 00:00:37,453
So, um...
15
00:00:37,454 --> 00:00:39,914
this infographic
was about marriages,
16
00:00:39,915 --> 00:00:42,917
and, um, it said
that if your spouse dies,
17
00:00:42,918 --> 00:00:47,922
it... it feels like losing
$308,780 a year,
18
00:00:47,923 --> 00:00:50,258
which sounded crazy
to me at first.
19
00:00:50,259 --> 00:00:52,426
Like, how do you...
20
00:00:52,427 --> 00:00:54,512
how do you put
a dollar amount on death?
21
00:00:54,513 --> 00:00:56,347
Like, how is that even
a thing with a price tag?
22
00:00:56,348 --> 00:00:57,974
Um...
23
00:00:57,975 --> 00:00:59,809
But then I...
24
00:00:59,810 --> 00:01:01,769
I started to think
25
00:01:01,770 --> 00:01:05,523
about what it would feel like
to lose...
26
00:01:05,524 --> 00:01:09,318
$308,780 a year.
27
00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:11,279
And it would feel like...
28
00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:13,198
like a problem
you could never fix.
29
00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:17,785
It's an impossible amount
of money to lose.
30
00:01:17,786 --> 00:01:20,830
Um...
31
00:01:20,831 --> 00:01:22,665
I don't know
if it's that exact number.
32
00:01:22,666 --> 00:01:25,793
The 780 at the end feels
a bit weird.
33
00:01:25,794 --> 00:01:27,253
Um...
34
00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:29,630
But I...
35
00:01:29,631 --> 00:01:32,633
would say that my...
36
00:01:32,634 --> 00:01:35,804
husband being dead...
37
00:01:37,139 --> 00:01:40,601
Feels like the same kind
of impossible thing.
38
00:01:44,855 --> 00:01:46,522
That's what I got.
39
00:01:46,523 --> 00:01:49,484
all: Thanks for sharing.
- Okay, you're welcome.
40
00:01:50,986 --> 00:01:52,820
- You still have a few minutes.
41
00:01:52,821 --> 00:01:55,115
- I don't really want them.
42
00:02:06,001 --> 00:02:07,627
[alarm rings]
43
00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:09,420
[door opens]
44
00:02:09,421 --> 00:02:12,508
[alarm rings]
45
00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:16,636
- [groaning] No.
- Up. Yes, come on.
46
00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:19,347
You teach at 7:00. No. No. No.
No "Moms." Come on.
47
00:02:19,348 --> 00:02:21,933
- Hey, stop.
I'm not wearing pants.
48
00:02:21,934 --> 00:02:23,893
- Your body literally came
out of my vagina.
49
00:02:23,894 --> 00:02:26,771
Do not talk to me about pants.
Come on.
50
00:02:26,772 --> 00:02:29,608
- [sighs]
I don't want to be awake.
51
00:02:31,026 --> 00:02:33,194
- I know, sweetie,
but no one wants to be awake.
52
00:02:33,195 --> 00:02:34,862
That's how mornings work.
53
00:02:34,863 --> 00:02:37,031
Here, there's those pants
you were so worried about.
54
00:02:37,032 --> 00:02:38,783
- Yeah.
Get up. Get up.
55
00:02:38,784 --> 00:02:40,243
Get up. Get up. Get up.
56
00:02:40,244 --> 00:02:42,703
Get up. Get up. Get up.
Get up.
57
00:02:42,704 --> 00:02:45,164
Get up. Get up. Get up. Get up.
58
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:46,833
- [groaning]
59
00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:49,919
Babe.
[grumbling].
60
00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:52,505
I'm going back to sleep.
- Mm-mm.
61
00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:53,965
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-mm.
62
00:02:53,966 --> 00:02:56,259
You need to take a shower.
63
00:02:56,260 --> 00:02:59,220
You do not smell good enough
to be around my family.
64
00:02:59,221 --> 00:03:00,596
- I smell okay.
65
00:03:00,597 --> 00:03:01,973
- I promise
you don't smell okay.
66
00:03:01,974 --> 00:03:04,100
- I didn't know
I was coming with.
67
00:03:04,101 --> 00:03:05,726
- Do you not want to come?
68
00:03:05,727 --> 00:03:07,603
- I-it's just been a long week.
69
00:03:07,604 --> 00:03:09,438
I thought I'd take
the morning to sleep.
70
00:03:09,439 --> 00:03:12,692
- Matt, please.
I need you.
71
00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:15,903
You always make things better
with my family.
72
00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:17,446
I don't, but you do.
73
00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:19,907
- You know that's not true
about you.
74
00:03:19,908 --> 00:03:23,578
- Please, get up.
75
00:03:23,579 --> 00:03:26,122
[groans]
- Oh, my God.
76
00:03:26,123 --> 00:03:27,915
[grumbles]
77
00:03:27,916 --> 00:03:29,959
- Thank you.
78
00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:32,296
- I love you.
- I love you, too.
79
00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:36,174
I'll love you more after
you've brushed your teeth.
80
00:03:36,175 --> 00:03:38,926
- Yeah, how about we try
all that again?
81
00:03:38,927 --> 00:03:41,179
- I just love you
and nothing else.
82
00:03:41,180 --> 00:03:42,389
- Yeah, there it is.
83
00:03:42,390 --> 00:03:44,183
- Leigh.
Leigh.
84
00:03:46,268 --> 00:03:47,852
Honey.
85
00:03:47,853 --> 00:03:51,147
You have the 7:00
and 8:15 classes... 9:30.
86
00:03:51,148 --> 00:03:52,607
I'm at noon.
87
00:03:52,608 --> 00:03:54,734
Uh, Jules,
you have the evening slots.
88
00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:56,903
You have group at 8:30.
89
00:03:56,904 --> 00:03:59,488
And I have a date
with a guy who seems nice,
90
00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:01,115
but, you know, kind of
boring on eHarmony.
91
00:04:01,116 --> 00:04:02,575
So let's hope he's nice
92
00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:05,203
and kind of interesting
in real life.
93
00:04:05,204 --> 00:04:07,122
- Hello.
94
00:04:09,208 --> 00:04:12,168
- Hey.
- Hi.
95
00:04:12,169 --> 00:04:13,753
- Ooh.
- Good morning.
96
00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:16,214
- Hi.
- Can't believe you're here.
97
00:04:16,215 --> 00:04:18,007
Okay, you guys I got to show
you something funny.
98
00:04:18,008 --> 00:04:20,134
Come on. Look at what Mom made.
- What? Oh.
99
00:04:20,135 --> 00:04:21,511
No.
- Yes.
100
00:04:21,512 --> 00:04:22,887
- Wow.
- What?
101
00:04:22,888 --> 00:04:24,263
[laughter]
102
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:26,057
- What? What's so funny?
103
00:04:26,058 --> 00:04:28,726
Hey, that's not cool.
I don't make fun of your stuff.
104
00:04:28,727 --> 00:04:30,811
- Mom, if you don't want people
to laugh at your vision boards,
105
00:04:30,812 --> 00:04:32,605
don't put so much
healing crystals.
106
00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:34,440
- They are not vision boards.
They are soul collages.
107
00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:35,858
- Oh, right. Of course.
108
00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:37,401
- Well, I think
this is really cool art.
109
00:04:37,402 --> 00:04:39,278
What's the story?
- Thank you.
110
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,614
You collage a card
for each aspect of your soul,
111
00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:43,866
and then you use the cards
to answer your life questions.
112
00:04:43,867 --> 00:04:45,993
So it's sort of like
a personalized tarot deck.
113
00:04:45,994 --> 00:04:47,745
- Oh, my God,
you've got to stop
114
00:04:47,746 --> 00:04:49,288
being a parody of yourself.
115
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:51,165
- You don't subscribe
to my belief system.
116
00:04:51,166 --> 00:04:54,168
That's just fine, but you give
some respect where it's due.
117
00:04:54,169 --> 00:04:56,337
Everything I have accomplished
in my life
118
00:04:56,338 --> 00:04:59,006
is a result of believing that
I could create my own reality,
119
00:04:59,007 --> 00:05:02,218
and that includes raising
both of you by myself
120
00:05:02,219 --> 00:05:03,803
and running
my own business,
121
00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:06,681
which also apparently
employs you both.
122
00:05:06,682 --> 00:05:09,809
So don't make fun of my magic.
You should be respectful of it.
123
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:12,103
- I mean, I hear that.
- Thank you. Thank you.
124
00:05:12,104 --> 00:05:13,855
He is my favorite.
125
00:05:13,856 --> 00:05:15,731
- Are you serious?
- You're my favorite.
126
00:05:15,732 --> 00:05:18,025
See? He's nice.
Why are they so horrible to me?
127
00:05:18,026 --> 00:05:20,779
Okay, so that's Thursday.
Let's do this.
128
00:05:22,865 --> 00:05:25,241
Okay?
129
00:05:25,242 --> 00:05:26,868
- Wait, say that all again?
- Come on.
130
00:05:26,869 --> 00:05:28,036
- I'm sorry.
131
00:05:28,037 --> 00:05:30,121
I'm just, like, stupid excited
132
00:05:30,122 --> 00:05:32,039
to get my three-month chip
tonight.
133
00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:34,041
- Hmm.
134
00:05:34,042 --> 00:05:36,669
You are a beast.
135
00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:38,254
You're kicking
this thing in the teeth,
136
00:05:38,255 --> 00:05:40,006
and we could not
be more proud of you.
137
00:05:40,007 --> 00:05:42,383
Could we, Leigh?
138
00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:44,595
- Yeah. Everything she said.
139
00:05:46,221 --> 00:05:49,056
- Just, like,
these last few months,
140
00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:51,601
everything has been
so emotional and stressful,
141
00:05:51,602 --> 00:05:55,938
and I could have fallen off
the wagon so many times, but...
142
00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:57,773
I didn't.
143
00:05:57,774 --> 00:05:59,317
I handled it.
144
00:05:59,318 --> 00:06:02,612
- Yep, it really, uh,
screwed me up, too,
145
00:06:02,613 --> 00:06:03,946
when my husband died.
146
00:06:03,947 --> 00:06:05,323
- That's not what I was saying.
147
00:06:05,324 --> 00:06:07,074
- That's exactly
what you were saying...
148
00:06:07,075 --> 00:06:09,160
that my husband being dead
is making it harder
149
00:06:09,161 --> 00:06:10,912
for you to stay sober.
150
00:06:10,913 --> 00:06:12,872
- I wasn't saying it like that.
- You still said it.
151
00:06:12,873 --> 00:06:15,374
- Hey, you. That's enough.
- What?
152
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:17,502
Take a breath.
- I'm breathing.
153
00:06:17,503 --> 00:06:19,086
- Now do it
with some intention.
154
00:06:19,087 --> 00:06:20,880
Come on [inhales deeply]
- Whatever.
155
00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:22,716
I'm gonna go to the studio.
156
00:06:29,765 --> 00:06:33,476
How do you expect anyone
to be in a good mood
157
00:06:33,477 --> 00:06:35,604
before the sun's up?
158
00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:39,691
Just think about that.
159
00:06:45,989 --> 00:06:49,659
[upbeat electronic music
playing]
160
00:06:49,660 --> 00:06:53,579
- Up and press. Heels up like
you're wearing stilettos.
161
00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:55,414
Come on, I know you girls have
higher hells than that.
162
00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:57,208
And up, and press.
163
00:06:57,209 --> 00:06:58,252
Now you're gonna
lower yourself
164
00:06:58,253 --> 00:06:59,836
three inches and hold.
165
00:06:59,837 --> 00:07:01,337
Three inches.
166
00:07:01,338 --> 00:07:03,339
You guys have zero inches.
Three inches.
167
00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:05,049
Come on. Here, you got this.
168
00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:06,884
Come on, match me.
Match me. You got this.
169
00:07:06,885 --> 00:07:08,928
Right now. One inch up.
One inch down.
170
00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:10,680
We're gonna pulse
for ten seconds to tempo.
171
00:07:10,681 --> 00:07:12,181
- Mm-mm.
- Yep.
172
00:07:12,182 --> 00:07:13,850
You can do anything
for ten seconds. Mm-hmm.
173
00:07:13,851 --> 00:07:18,145
And pulse.
Two, three, four, five,
174
00:07:18,146 --> 00:07:21,774
six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
175
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:24,318
And release.
Good job. Good job.
176
00:07:24,319 --> 00:07:26,153
Now we're gonna go
to butt school, ladies,
177
00:07:26,154 --> 00:07:27,531
and work those seats.
178
00:07:28,490 --> 00:07:31,577
- I'll see you girls later.
- Bye. See you later.
179
00:07:33,287 --> 00:07:35,079
- Mmm.
180
00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:37,540
I love you.
181
00:07:37,541 --> 00:07:39,626
- Okay.
- [laughs]
182
00:07:40,752 --> 00:07:43,171
- Oh, hey, real quick...
I have to ask you something.
183
00:07:43,172 --> 00:07:44,922
- Are you saying you love me
because you have
184
00:07:44,923 --> 00:07:46,632
to ask me something?
185
00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:49,385
- No, I love you, and
I have to ask you something.
186
00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:51,179
- What?
187
00:07:51,180 --> 00:07:53,014
- You've been wearing
a lot of my workout stuff.
188
00:07:53,015 --> 00:07:56,809
- Mm-hmm.
- But you have your own stuff.
189
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:59,437
- Yeah,
but it's at my apartment.
190
00:07:59,438 --> 00:08:03,191
- When's the last time
you went to your apartment?
191
00:08:03,192 --> 00:08:05,193
- A little before the funeral.
192
00:08:05,194 --> 00:08:07,236
- It's, like, three months?
193
00:08:07,237 --> 00:08:08,988
All your stuff is still there,
194
00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:11,115
and you're still paying
rent and utilities.
195
00:08:11,116 --> 00:08:12,742
- Yeah.
196
00:08:12,743 --> 00:08:14,994
Yeah, I know.
197
00:08:14,995 --> 00:08:17,747
- So maybe you could go
by your apartment
198
00:08:17,748 --> 00:08:19,208
and get your stuff.
199
00:08:21,293 --> 00:08:24,587
- Sure. Yeah, sure.
200
00:08:24,588 --> 00:08:27,006
- Okay, great.
201
00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:30,301
Thank you.
- You're welcome.
202
00:08:30,302 --> 00:08:32,261
- [sighs, groans]
203
00:08:32,262 --> 00:08:34,680
I love you.
- I love you, too.
204
00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:36,557
- Mmm.
205
00:08:36,558 --> 00:08:42,439
[melancholy music]
206
00:08:59,581 --> 00:09:02,584
[birds chirping]
207
00:09:17,558 --> 00:09:20,561
[mail slot clangs]
- [sighs]
208
00:09:26,567 --> 00:09:31,904
[music continues]
209
00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:33,198
Can you be
my sounding board?
210
00:09:33,199 --> 00:09:35,366
It's for my column.
211
00:09:35,367 --> 00:09:37,326
A high-school girl
just got her heart broken
212
00:09:37,327 --> 00:09:38,995
for the first time,
213
00:09:38,996 --> 00:09:41,998
feels like she is dying.
214
00:09:41,999 --> 00:09:44,542
What does she do?
215
00:09:44,543 --> 00:09:46,460
Keeping doing your homework,
216
00:09:46,461 --> 00:09:48,796
you'll be in love with someone
new by Winter Formal.
217
00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:50,715
- You're gonna say that.
- [laughs]
218
00:09:50,716 --> 00:09:52,592
No, I'm not gonna say that,
219
00:09:52,593 --> 00:09:54,802
but I just...
I feel like she's 15
220
00:09:54,803 --> 00:09:56,929
and her heart is broken,
and she's going to use it
221
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:58,723
as an excuse
to be an asshole to her mom.
222
00:09:58,724 --> 00:10:00,308
And I want to tell her
not to do that.
223
00:10:00,309 --> 00:10:03,186
- Yeah, just say all that
in a not-patronizing way.
224
00:10:03,187 --> 00:10:05,313
Ooh.
- I'm going to.
225
00:10:05,314 --> 00:10:06,981
- Yeah?
- Um...
226
00:10:06,982 --> 00:10:09,984
"You've lost
someone important to you,
227
00:10:09,985 --> 00:10:13,237
"but there are people
228
00:10:13,238 --> 00:10:16,616
"who still depend on you.
229
00:10:16,617 --> 00:10:20,453
"So help your friend
230
00:10:20,454 --> 00:10:24,081
"with her mock-trial audition
231
00:10:24,082 --> 00:10:28,461
"and your brother
with his Latin homework
232
00:10:28,462 --> 00:10:31,714
"and tell your mom
233
00:10:31,715 --> 00:10:33,925
"you love her.
234
00:10:33,926 --> 00:10:38,221
"Even though
you know she knows...
235
00:10:38,222 --> 00:10:42,142
she still needs to hear it."
236
00:10:43,393 --> 00:10:45,895
- I really like that.
237
00:10:45,896 --> 00:10:47,939
- Thank you for being
my sounding board.
238
00:10:47,940 --> 00:10:50,566
- Yeah, always.
239
00:10:50,567 --> 00:10:52,360
- You want to get ramen
for dinner?
240
00:10:52,361 --> 00:10:54,111
- Oh, I can't.
241
00:10:54,112 --> 00:10:57,782
I told my brother I would hang
out with him tonight.
242
00:10:57,783 --> 00:10:59,450
- You're always hanging out
with your brother.
243
00:10:59,451 --> 00:11:01,786
- No, I'm always hanging out
with you.
244
00:11:01,787 --> 00:11:03,330
I live with you.
245
00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:06,999
[scoffs]
246
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:10,211
Well, he just got dumped.
It's been hard on him.
247
00:11:10,212 --> 00:11:12,004
You can hang with us
if you want.
248
00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:14,590
- I don't really like hanging
out with regular Danny,
249
00:11:14,591 --> 00:11:17,051
and I definitely don't want
to hang out with dumped Danny.
250
00:11:17,052 --> 00:11:21,138
- Okay, well, I just thought
I'd offer, just in case.
251
00:11:21,139 --> 00:11:24,183
All right, I'm gonna, um...
252
00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:26,811
head out in a few, all right?
253
00:11:26,812 --> 00:11:28,771
Bye, bye, bye.
254
00:11:28,772 --> 00:11:34,611
[melancholy music]
255
00:11:42,536 --> 00:11:44,912
- Oh, sorry.
- It's okay.
256
00:11:44,913 --> 00:11:46,206
- Thanks.
- Mm-hmm.
257
00:11:46,207 --> 00:11:48,833
[soul music playing]
258
00:11:48,834 --> 00:11:50,127
- Hey.
- Hey.
259
00:11:50,128 --> 00:11:51,711
- You look pretty.
260
00:11:51,712 --> 00:11:53,880
- I slept four hours.
I look like a cadaver.
261
00:11:53,881 --> 00:11:56,007
- Super-hot cadaver.
262
00:11:56,008 --> 00:11:59,385
- It's 'cause I teach
three barre classes a day
263
00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:02,471
and I only get to eat
one fun thing a week.
264
00:12:02,472 --> 00:12:04,473
- What's your fun thing?
265
00:12:04,474 --> 00:12:06,518
- Doughnuts at grief group.
266
00:12:07,936 --> 00:12:09,813
- Jesus.
- I know.
267
00:12:12,983 --> 00:12:14,609
- Well, as long as we're not
having fun...
268
00:12:14,610 --> 00:12:16,277
- Mm-hmm.
269
00:12:16,278 --> 00:12:18,529
- There's something
I need to talk to you about.
270
00:12:18,530 --> 00:12:19,781
- What?
271
00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:24,161
- Taylor wants to get
the advice column going again.
272
00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:30,458
- I just don't feel
like the same person
273
00:12:30,459 --> 00:12:31,792
who wrote that anymore.
274
00:12:31,793 --> 00:12:33,169
- I get it,
275
00:12:33,170 --> 00:12:35,254
but I'd love for you
to still write it
276
00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:37,716
as whoever you are now.
277
00:12:39,676 --> 00:12:42,303
- You're a good editor.
278
00:12:42,304 --> 00:12:44,639
And you're
a really good friend.
279
00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:47,725
- And that is a yes?
[laughs]
280
00:12:47,726 --> 00:12:51,187
- That's an
"I'll think about it."
281
00:12:51,188 --> 00:12:53,857
- Okay.
Thinking cadaver.
282
00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:09,080
- Yo, you just, uh, checked
yourself out, didn't you?
283
00:13:09,081 --> 00:13:10,831
- [snickers]
284
00:13:10,832 --> 00:13:14,877
Yeah. I did.
- [laughing]
285
00:13:14,878 --> 00:13:17,171
Did you get to go
by your apartment?
286
00:13:17,172 --> 00:13:20,341
- You know what?
I didn't end up having time.
287
00:13:20,342 --> 00:13:22,844
- You got to go over there.
I'm out of clothes.
288
00:13:22,845 --> 00:13:24,595
I'm gonna have to teach naked.
289
00:13:24,596 --> 00:13:26,514
- Right. Well, I don't know
what to tell you, Jules.
290
00:13:26,515 --> 00:13:28,516
You're asking me to do
something that I can't do.
291
00:13:28,517 --> 00:13:30,393
- I don't want this
to be a thing.
292
00:13:30,394 --> 00:13:32,520
- I'm just trying to help.
- Yeah, but you're not helping.
293
00:13:32,521 --> 00:13:34,188
I know what helping looks like
294
00:13:34,189 --> 00:13:36,732
'cause that's what I did
for you for, like, a decade.
295
00:13:36,733 --> 00:13:39,485
- Are you gonna list
every mistake I ever made.
296
00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:41,153
Should I get comfortable?
297
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:43,364
- Sure, 'cause apparently
you don't remember
298
00:13:43,365 --> 00:13:45,950
the hundreds of times
that I had to help you out
299
00:13:45,951 --> 00:13:48,369
'cause you were too wasted
to help yourself.
300
00:13:48,370 --> 00:13:50,746
- But I do remember
that look that you always have
301
00:13:50,747 --> 00:13:53,291
on your face when you get
to feel superior to me.
302
00:13:53,292 --> 00:13:55,459
You never do
anything nice for me
303
00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:58,462
without making me pay
for it later.
304
00:13:58,463 --> 00:14:02,134
- Okay, well, you never do
anything nice for me at all.
305
00:14:04,219 --> 00:14:05,928
I have an idea.
306
00:14:05,929 --> 00:14:08,723
How about you go to
my apartment to get my stuff,
307
00:14:08,724 --> 00:14:11,601
since you're the one
who wants it so badly?
308
00:14:11,602 --> 00:14:14,520
These are my keys.
309
00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:17,815
I got to go to grief group
'cause my husband died.
310
00:14:17,816 --> 00:14:19,943
- How are you getting there?
311
00:14:23,947 --> 00:14:25,949
- [mumbling]
312
00:14:28,327 --> 00:14:29,953
Smile about it.
313
00:14:32,915 --> 00:14:35,918
[indistinct chatter]
314
00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:43,049
"Everyone keeps telling me
that I'll get over him.
315
00:14:43,050 --> 00:14:46,344
"Everyone keeps telling me it's
not the end of the world,
316
00:14:46,345 --> 00:14:48,846
"but if that's true,
then why does it feel
317
00:14:48,847 --> 00:14:51,350
like the end of the world?"
318
00:15:05,697 --> 00:15:08,407
Hi.
319
00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:10,076
Are you here for group?
320
00:15:10,077 --> 00:15:12,245
- Yeah, I was, uh,
just gonna try it out,
321
00:15:12,246 --> 00:15:14,497
see if it was any good
or if it was stupid.
322
00:15:14,498 --> 00:15:16,666
- It's not stupid.
- You been going?
323
00:15:16,667 --> 00:15:18,835
- Mm, yeah, this is my sixth,
seventh week,
324
00:15:18,836 --> 00:15:20,294
something like that.
325
00:15:20,295 --> 00:15:21,754
- I just Googled
"grief group near me,"
326
00:15:21,755 --> 00:15:23,006
and this is what came up.
327
00:15:23,007 --> 00:15:24,382
- Yeah, that's what I did.
328
00:15:24,383 --> 00:15:27,343
I think
that's what everyone does.
329
00:15:27,344 --> 00:15:28,845
- You know what?
330
00:15:28,846 --> 00:15:30,638
Uh, you been going.
This is your thing.
331
00:15:30,639 --> 00:15:32,682
I don't want to show up
and screw with your thing,
332
00:15:32,683 --> 00:15:34,183
so I could...
- I don't own grief group.
333
00:15:34,184 --> 00:15:36,686
- More than me.
- Okay, well, just come,
334
00:15:36,687 --> 00:15:37,938
because I'm gonna feel bad
if you don't.
335
00:15:37,939 --> 00:15:39,397
- No, you won't.
336
00:15:39,398 --> 00:15:41,649
You'd be happy,
'cause you hate me, so...
337
00:15:41,650 --> 00:15:43,234
- I don't hate anyone.
338
00:15:43,235 --> 00:15:45,319
- That's what people say
when they hate you.
339
00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:47,573
- I don't hate you.
340
00:15:54,121 --> 00:15:56,248
Are you coming?
341
00:16:02,504 --> 00:16:04,339
- Hi.
342
00:16:07,092 --> 00:16:09,010
- What is this?
343
00:16:09,011 --> 00:16:11,846
- Oh, we're switching up
snacks.
344
00:16:11,847 --> 00:16:13,931
- Why?
- I got a couple emails.
345
00:16:13,932 --> 00:16:15,683
People are trying
to cut out sugar.
346
00:16:15,684 --> 00:16:19,061
- So there's just, like,
no doughnuts?
347
00:16:19,062 --> 00:16:20,897
- Hey, we have a few minutes
before we start.
348
00:16:20,898 --> 00:16:22,523
Do you want to go outside
and talk?
349
00:16:22,524 --> 00:16:24,650
- Nope, I don't want
to talk to you.
350
00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:27,862
I don't even want to be here
most of the time.
351
00:16:27,863 --> 00:16:30,114
I just... I come here
because usually
352
00:16:30,115 --> 00:16:32,950
it doesn't make me feel better,
but sometimes it does.
353
00:16:32,951 --> 00:16:34,702
But...
354
00:16:34,703 --> 00:16:36,329
you know what?
355
00:16:36,330 --> 00:16:39,666
Nothing makes me
feel better enough!
356
00:16:43,629 --> 00:16:45,631
[sighs]
357
00:16:47,716 --> 00:16:50,302
All I wanted was a doughnut.
358
00:16:52,638 --> 00:16:55,473
That's, um...
359
00:16:55,474 --> 00:16:57,726
what was going
to make me feel better.
360
00:17:04,149 --> 00:17:05,900
Can you stop following me?
361
00:17:05,901 --> 00:17:07,527
Just go back.
Do group. It's good.
362
00:17:07,528 --> 00:17:09,028
- Why don't you go back?
363
00:17:09,029 --> 00:17:10,446
- I just literally
had a psychotic break
364
00:17:10,447 --> 00:17:11,948
over carrot sticks.
365
00:17:11,949 --> 00:17:13,866
- I've seen worse.
- That's not helpful.
366
00:17:13,867 --> 00:17:15,409
- I'm not trying to be helpful.
You want to get a doughnut?
367
00:17:15,410 --> 00:17:16,869
- No, that's okay.
368
00:17:16,870 --> 00:17:18,621
- You were just crying
five seconds ago
369
00:17:18,622 --> 00:17:19,915
because you couldn't have one.
370
00:17:19,916 --> 00:17:21,999
- I wasn't crying.
- Okay, come on.
371
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:24,252
I know a doughnut shop
near here.
372
00:17:24,253 --> 00:17:26,087
- Yeah, I know the same one.
373
00:17:26,088 --> 00:17:29,090
I drive by it all the time,
and I think about going in,
374
00:17:29,091 --> 00:17:30,175
and I never do.
375
00:17:30,176 --> 00:17:32,468
- Okay.
So come on.
376
00:17:32,469 --> 00:17:34,512
- I will buy you a doughnut,
and if you're not being
377
00:17:34,513 --> 00:17:36,097
too much of a bitch,
I'll buy you two.
378
00:17:36,098 --> 00:17:38,391
- That's an ugly word
with an ugly history.
379
00:17:38,392 --> 00:17:41,269
- Now I'm only buying you one.
380
00:17:41,270 --> 00:17:42,854
[chuckles]
381
00:17:42,855 --> 00:17:45,858
- I hate when people use
the word "condolences."
382
00:17:49,361 --> 00:17:51,612
- I hate it when people tell me
that I'm in their prayers.
383
00:17:51,613 --> 00:17:53,573
- [laughs]
Yeah.
384
00:17:53,574 --> 00:17:55,575
I hate how in the beginning,
385
00:17:55,576 --> 00:17:58,369
everyone wants to send you
flowers and donate
386
00:17:58,370 --> 00:18:01,622
to, like, a foundation
for your dead person.
387
00:18:01,623 --> 00:18:04,250
And then they stop calling
and writing
388
00:18:04,251 --> 00:18:06,794
and doing nice things for you
because they're over it,
389
00:18:06,795 --> 00:18:09,547
and they expect you
to be over it.
390
00:18:09,548 --> 00:18:12,925
- I hate it when people ask me
if I was close to my brother...
391
00:18:12,926 --> 00:18:14,802
like they're trying
to decide how sorry
392
00:18:14,803 --> 00:18:16,387
they have to feel for me.
- Mm.
393
00:18:16,388 --> 00:18:18,347
- And they want me to say,
"Not close,"
394
00:18:18,348 --> 00:18:21,100
as if that would make it
better or whatever.
395
00:18:21,101 --> 00:18:23,603
- I hate running into someone
I haven't seen in a long time,
396
00:18:23,604 --> 00:18:25,980
and I know they know he's dead.
397
00:18:25,981 --> 00:18:28,149
But we have
an entire conversation,
398
00:18:28,150 --> 00:18:30,318
and they never bring him up.
399
00:18:30,319 --> 00:18:32,570
They never say they're sorry.
400
00:18:32,571 --> 00:18:35,573
They don't ask how I'm doing.
401
00:18:35,574 --> 00:18:39,035
They just pretend
like everything's fine.
402
00:18:39,036 --> 00:18:40,536
I hate that.
403
00:18:40,537 --> 00:18:43,331
God, that's so good.
404
00:18:43,332 --> 00:18:45,917
- Do you want
another doughnut?
405
00:18:45,918 --> 00:18:47,460
- No.
- Come on.
406
00:18:47,461 --> 00:18:49,754
You want another one.
Yes.
407
00:18:49,755 --> 00:18:51,130
- Yes, I do.
- Yes, you do.
408
00:18:51,131 --> 00:18:53,008
- I would love one.
409
00:19:04,186 --> 00:19:07,189
[rain pattering loudly]
410
00:19:11,652 --> 00:19:17,658
[melancholy music]
411
00:19:19,451 --> 00:19:22,245
Jesus.
412
00:19:22,246 --> 00:19:23,663
Oh, God.
413
00:19:23,664 --> 00:19:26,083
[groans]
414
00:19:27,709 --> 00:19:29,670
[sighs]
Matt.
415
00:19:32,714 --> 00:19:35,175
Matt.
416
00:19:49,940 --> 00:19:52,108
Matt?
417
00:19:52,109 --> 00:19:58,115
[music continues]
418
00:20:02,035 --> 00:20:04,161
[line trilling]
419
00:20:04,162 --> 00:20:06,163
- Hey, you reached Matt.
Sorry I missed your call.
420
00:20:06,164 --> 00:20:08,917
Leave a message,
and I'll get back to you.
421
00:20:12,921 --> 00:20:14,672
[line trilling]
- [sighs]
422
00:20:14,673 --> 00:20:16,674
- Hey, you reached Matt.
Sorry I missed your call.
423
00:20:16,675 --> 00:20:19,136
Leave a message,
and I'll get back to you.
424
00:20:23,724 --> 00:20:29,730
[suspenseful music]
425
00:20:50,125 --> 00:20:52,335
- Yes.
- Is Matt here?
426
00:20:52,336 --> 00:20:53,961
- Wha...
427
00:20:53,962 --> 00:20:55,546
What time is it?
- Is Matt here?
428
00:20:55,547 --> 00:20:58,216
- No, he went home.
- No, he didn't.
429
00:20:58,217 --> 00:20:59,592
- Well, that's what he said.
430
00:20:59,593 --> 00:21:01,344
We walked back here
from the bar,
431
00:21:01,345 --> 00:21:02,845
and I told him to crash,
432
00:21:02,846 --> 00:21:04,722
but he said he had
to get back to you.
433
00:21:04,723 --> 00:21:06,975
- Was he okay to drive?
434
00:21:08,268 --> 00:21:09,727
- Y-yeah.
435
00:21:09,728 --> 00:21:11,604
- Well, he's not picking up
his phone.
436
00:21:11,605 --> 00:21:13,940
You don't know where he is.
I don't know where he is.
437
00:21:13,941 --> 00:21:15,983
So what am I supposed
to do, Danny?
438
00:21:15,984 --> 00:21:18,986
- Don't yell at me.
I didn't do anything.
439
00:21:18,987 --> 00:21:22,114
[music continues]
440
00:21:22,115 --> 00:21:23,992
Leigh.
Leigh!
441
00:21:28,872 --> 00:21:34,878
[music continues]
442
00:22:08,620 --> 00:22:11,163
- [whimpering]
443
00:22:11,164 --> 00:22:13,416
- Hey, hey. Hey.
444
00:22:13,417 --> 00:22:15,751
- [crying]
What are you doing?
445
00:22:15,752 --> 00:22:17,920
- I was just waiting
till I was okay to drive.
446
00:22:17,921 --> 00:22:20,840
- I thought you were dead.
- No.
447
00:22:20,841 --> 00:22:23,634
- [sobbing]
- No.
448
00:22:23,635 --> 00:22:27,097
- You can never die.
[sobbing]
449
00:22:28,807 --> 00:22:31,684
- No, I won't.
- I'm serious.
450
00:22:31,685 --> 00:22:34,061
I'm serious...
like, ever.
451
00:22:34,062 --> 00:22:35,771
[sobbing]
452
00:22:35,772 --> 00:22:38,107
- I think I have to someday.
453
00:22:38,108 --> 00:22:41,444
- Just do it after me.
454
00:22:41,445 --> 00:22:43,779
- Okay.
455
00:22:43,780 --> 00:22:46,073
Okay. Okay.
Hey. Hey. Hey.
456
00:22:46,074 --> 00:22:48,160
I'm here.
457
00:22:51,580 --> 00:22:53,080
- Okay, then.
458
00:22:53,081 --> 00:22:55,208
- So you, uh,
want to hang out sometime?
459
00:22:55,209 --> 00:22:57,001
- Why?
460
00:22:57,002 --> 00:22:58,878
- Never mind.
461
00:22:58,879 --> 00:23:01,005
- No, that's not what...
I actually mean why.
462
00:23:01,006 --> 00:23:03,549
- No, it's okay. Forget it.
You know...
463
00:23:03,550 --> 00:23:06,677
I'm having a shitty enough time
without having to go
464
00:23:06,678 --> 00:23:08,554
through this whole thing
with you, Leigh.
465
00:23:08,555 --> 00:23:10,306
- I'm having
a shitty time, too.
466
00:23:10,307 --> 00:23:12,808
- I'm having an objectively
shittier time than you.
467
00:23:12,809 --> 00:23:13,936
- Really?
- Yeah.
468
00:23:13,937 --> 00:23:15,353
- How is that?
469
00:23:15,354 --> 00:23:17,313
- Because you can get
another husband.
470
00:23:17,314 --> 00:23:19,525
I can't just get
another brother.
471
00:23:21,276 --> 00:23:24,695
- [laughing]
Okay.
472
00:23:24,696 --> 00:23:26,948
Oh, wow.
473
00:23:26,949 --> 00:23:29,909
I cannot believe
you just said that.
474
00:23:29,910 --> 00:23:32,119
- It's true.
475
00:23:32,120 --> 00:23:34,288
'Cause you're young.
You'll find someone new.
476
00:23:34,289 --> 00:23:36,541
You'll be fine.
I'm the one who's screwed here.
477
00:23:36,542 --> 00:23:39,377
- Okay, this is why I never
wanted to hang out with you.
478
00:23:39,378 --> 00:23:40,878
Right, and this is why
479
00:23:40,879 --> 00:23:43,756
I still don't want to hang out
with you.
480
00:23:43,757 --> 00:23:47,261
So, Danny, thank you.
481
00:23:53,517 --> 00:23:55,143
- [sighs]
[car door closes]
482
00:23:57,020 --> 00:24:00,940
[door opens, creaks]
483
00:24:00,941 --> 00:24:03,944
[door closes, lock clicks]
484
00:24:06,864 --> 00:24:09,949
- Did you get my stuff?
485
00:24:09,950 --> 00:24:12,410
- I want to talk to you.
- [laughs]
486
00:24:12,411 --> 00:24:13,911
Cool, that's a no.
487
00:24:13,912 --> 00:24:16,540
- No, I really need you
to listen to me.
488
00:24:18,917 --> 00:24:21,127
I went to your apartment,
489
00:24:21,128 --> 00:24:22,962
and I stood outside the door,
490
00:24:22,963 --> 00:24:24,922
but I didn't go in
491
00:24:24,923 --> 00:24:26,799
because I kept thinking
about this thing
492
00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:29,719
that people say when
they're in the program...
493
00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:32,181
"suit up and show up."
494
00:24:34,057 --> 00:24:36,142
Even if you don't feel like
going to a meeting,
495
00:24:36,143 --> 00:24:39,645
you have to get dressed up
and go.
496
00:24:39,646 --> 00:24:42,315
How you feel about it
doesn't matter.
497
00:24:42,316 --> 00:24:45,194
What matters is that you do it.
498
00:24:48,447 --> 00:24:50,324
I can go with you.
499
00:24:51,575 --> 00:24:53,201
I will.
500
00:24:53,202 --> 00:24:55,786
I will sit with you
for however long it takes
501
00:24:55,787 --> 00:24:57,413
for you to feel like
you can go in,
502
00:24:57,414 --> 00:24:59,917
but I can't go for you.
503
00:25:02,211 --> 00:25:05,213
You have to show up
for yourself.
504
00:25:05,214 --> 00:25:11,220
[dramatic music]
505
00:25:19,228 --> 00:25:22,021
- [grunts]
506
00:25:22,022 --> 00:25:24,023
[sighs]
507
00:25:24,024 --> 00:25:30,030
[music continues]
508
00:25:36,787 --> 00:25:39,747
"Everyone keeps telling me
that I'll get over him.
509
00:25:39,748 --> 00:25:43,751
"Everyone keeps telling me
it's not the end of the world,
510
00:25:43,752 --> 00:25:45,503
"but if that's true,
511
00:25:45,504 --> 00:25:49,466
then why does it feel
like the end of the world?"
512
00:25:58,267 --> 00:26:02,061
"The reason everyone keeps
telling you
513
00:26:02,062 --> 00:26:05,231
"it's not the end of the world
514
00:26:05,232 --> 00:26:08,734
"is because it's not
515
00:26:08,735 --> 00:26:13,155
"the end of their world.
516
00:26:13,156 --> 00:26:16,868
"They don't have to figure out"
517
00:26:16,869 --> 00:26:19,662
"how to live
518
00:26:19,663 --> 00:26:24,084
"inside a world that's over.
519
00:26:25,878 --> 00:26:29,298
You do."
520
00:26:38,265 --> 00:26:43,312
[music continues]
521
00:26:54,114 --> 00:26:56,324
- You're up.
522
00:26:56,325 --> 00:26:58,743
- Yep.
523
00:26:58,744 --> 00:27:04,750
[hopeful music]
524
00:27:13,133 --> 00:27:15,551
[car alarm beeps]
525
00:27:15,552 --> 00:27:21,558
[music continues]
526
00:27:57,678 --> 00:27:59,428
- Why don't we make this
527
00:27:59,429 --> 00:28:01,597
as straightforward as
this impossible thing can be?
528
00:28:01,598 --> 00:28:03,015
Divide everything
into three piles...
529
00:28:03,016 --> 00:28:04,268
keep, toss, and give away.
530
00:28:04,269 --> 00:28:05,768
How does that sound?
531
00:28:05,769 --> 00:28:08,187
- This is the nicest gift
532
00:28:08,188 --> 00:28:10,815
I've ever gotten.
533
00:28:10,816 --> 00:28:15,695
- I think there was a lot
about him I didn't know.
534
00:28:15,696 --> 00:28:18,322
- Nobody really knows anything
about anyone.
535
00:28:18,323 --> 00:28:19,991
- I don't want to fight.
- But...
536
00:28:19,992 --> 00:28:21,951
- You're belongings have
meaning,
537
00:28:21,952 --> 00:28:24,245
and they should be treated with
the respect that they're owed.
538
00:28:24,246 --> 00:28:25,830
- Well, why don't you spend
539
00:28:25,831 --> 00:28:27,707
a week in this place
respecting the objects?
540
00:28:27,708 --> 00:28:29,710
Because if I do that, I'm gonna
throw myself out a window.
38325
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