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1
00:00:01,635 --> 00:00:03,168
Mary: Sports day today!
You better fuel up, huh?
2
00:00:03,170 --> 00:00:04,836
Adult mark: Sports day.
3
00:00:04,905 --> 00:00:06,305
The worst day of the year for a wimp -
4
00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:08,306
An all-day gym class.
5
00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:10,576
- I can't eat. The thought
of the whole school
6
00:00:10,578 --> 00:00:12,377
Seeing me collapse
in a potato sack
7
00:00:12,380 --> 00:00:14,112
Is giving my butterflies
caterpillars.
8
00:00:14,181 --> 00:00:16,314
- Oh... Now, don't ya worry,
mark.
9
00:00:16,384 --> 00:00:18,149
We don't expect you to win
a bunch of ribbons
10
00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:19,785
Like your brother.
11
00:00:19,854 --> 00:00:22,654
We know you're not gonna win
anything. Just have fun.
12
00:00:22,690 --> 00:00:24,523
Adult mark: Such confidence in me.
13
00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:26,024
- Hmm.
14
00:00:26,027 --> 00:00:27,526
Adult mark: I was not athletic but, in fairness,
15
00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:29,127
I didn't have the best teachers.
16
00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:31,196
- No shame in losing, son.
[kettle whistles]
17
00:00:31,198 --> 00:00:33,231
Pop: Kettle's boiled. - I got it.
18
00:00:33,233 --> 00:00:34,866
- Mike, luv, I'm sorry,
19
00:00:34,935 --> 00:00:36,335
But I can't give you
a driving lesson today.
20
00:00:36,470 --> 00:00:38,903
- What? Why?
- [sighs] your father and I
21
00:00:38,939 --> 00:00:41,239
Agreed to volunteer
for sports day.
22
00:00:41,275 --> 00:00:43,208
- What?
- My driving test is on Monday!
23
00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:45,009
I have no idea how
to parallel park!
24
00:00:45,046 --> 00:00:46,678
Somebody has gotta take me!
25
00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:50,249
- Uh, I'll take you.
- Oh no, that's you won't.
26
00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:53,018
You don't have a licence!
- I drive all the time.
27
00:00:53,020 --> 00:00:54,553
- You haven't driven
since confederation.
28
00:00:54,622 --> 00:00:56,821
- Driving a car's
like ridin' a bike!
29
00:00:56,823 --> 00:00:59,925
- Uh, no offense, pop, but...
30
00:00:59,927 --> 00:01:01,359
I think you're too old
to drive.
31
00:01:01,429 --> 00:01:03,394
Mary: Oh, sweet jesus, no. [kettle clangs lightly]
32
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:08,533
- Oh, too old, am I?
33
00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:11,503
Well, you might be surprised
to know
34
00:01:11,505 --> 00:01:15,707
That I'm still spry enough
to turn the... Whatchamacallit.
35
00:01:15,709 --> 00:01:19,244
The... You know, the round thing
with the barmy part.
36
00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:21,045
- The steering wheel?
- Yes!
37
00:01:21,082 --> 00:01:23,515
That's exactly what it is!
38
00:01:23,551 --> 00:01:26,952
Steering wheel, yeah.
Well, that was a test,
39
00:01:26,954 --> 00:01:30,789
And you, young man,
are ready for a lesson.
40
00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:32,190
Mike sr.: [mouthing]
no, you can't go.
41
00:01:32,325 --> 00:01:34,459
[fridge items rattle]
42
00:01:34,461 --> 00:01:36,328
- You know what, pop? I don't
think I actually need to know
43
00:01:36,397 --> 00:01:38,330
How to park, so uh...
You're off the hook.
44
00:01:38,399 --> 00:01:40,632
- Dammit! I'm giving you
a lesson!
45
00:01:40,634 --> 00:01:42,700
I'm not too old to drive!
46
00:01:43,904 --> 00:01:45,337
[liquid pours]
47
00:01:45,406 --> 00:01:47,372
Mary: Pop?
- What?!
48
00:01:47,408 --> 00:01:49,508
- That's orange juice.
49
00:01:50,978 --> 00:01:52,243
- Yeah. So?
50
00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:55,980
That's what I want.
Vitamin c.
51
00:01:57,684 --> 00:01:59,484
It's good for gout.
52
00:02:02,156 --> 00:02:03,889
[sips tea]
53
00:02:03,958 --> 00:02:05,223
Hmm.
54
00:02:08,362 --> 00:02:10,662
Mmm, mmm, mmm-mmm-mmm. Mmm!
55
00:02:12,566 --> 00:02:14,566
Mmm, mmm.
56
00:02:14,602 --> 00:02:16,968
[loud gulp,
clears his throat]
57
00:02:18,439 --> 00:02:21,173
Don't you laugh.
I'll see you in the car.
58
00:02:21,175 --> 00:02:22,841
Adult mark: I was going to be humiliated
59
00:02:22,843 --> 00:02:24,976
In front of the whole school, but it could be worse.
60
00:02:25,012 --> 00:02:27,045
Pop: [coughing] jesus christ!
61
00:02:27,114 --> 00:02:28,947
Adult mark: My brother was about to die.
62
00:02:30,851 --> 00:02:32,651
[birds chirp]
63
00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:35,120
Adult mark: All the parents came out on sports day.
64
00:02:35,189 --> 00:02:36,854
Many were excited to see their kids,
65
00:02:36,891 --> 00:02:38,523
Who failed the rest of the year,
66
00:02:38,526 --> 00:02:41,626
Redeem themselves with ribbons.
67
00:02:41,695 --> 00:02:44,129
And then there were mine. [car door slams shut]
68
00:02:44,198 --> 00:02:45,597
- Are you sure you both
have to come?
69
00:02:45,732 --> 00:02:48,467
- [sighs] we got stuck
volunteering, to be honest.
70
00:02:48,602 --> 00:02:51,670
Mrs. Perez is like a vampire.
Just 'cause she got bit,
71
00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:54,406
She's trying to damn
as many souls as she can.
72
00:02:54,475 --> 00:02:56,441
Mrs. Perez: [shouting]
did you bring any food?
73
00:02:57,878 --> 00:03:01,312
[whispers] I didn't bring
any food.
74
00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:04,749
Fox: Mom? Mom?
75
00:03:04,818 --> 00:03:06,418
- [low groan]
76
00:03:06,420 --> 00:03:08,587
- Aren't you comin'?
77
00:03:08,589 --> 00:03:11,155
- Oh, I can watch ya from here,
sure.
78
00:03:11,192 --> 00:03:12,891
- Please?
- Ugh...
79
00:03:12,893 --> 00:03:15,027
- All the other parents
actually got out of their cars.
80
00:03:15,029 --> 00:03:17,029
- Oh, that's just what I needs
now, right?
81
00:03:17,031 --> 00:03:18,963
To be hangin' out
with the other parents.
82
00:03:18,965 --> 00:03:20,632
- Mom, come on!
83
00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:22,100
I'm gonna break
the school record.
84
00:03:22,235 --> 00:03:24,970
I'm gonna get all gold,
I promise!
85
00:03:25,105 --> 00:03:27,639
Woman: Sarah?!
- Please?
86
00:03:27,675 --> 00:03:30,642
Woman: Sarah!
- Okay! I'm comin'!
87
00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:33,645
Sister margaret: All right then. Uh... Mrs. Critch,
88
00:03:33,681 --> 00:03:36,582
I have you and mrs. Perez
at the refreshments station.
89
00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:38,784
- Ooh... Exciting.
90
00:03:38,786 --> 00:03:41,253
- Mr. Perez, I hear you work at the hospital.
91
00:03:41,255 --> 00:03:42,987
You'll run the first-aid tent.
92
00:03:43,023 --> 00:03:45,724
- Oh no, no,
I'm just a technician.
93
00:03:45,793 --> 00:03:48,126
I fix the machines, that's all.
94
00:03:48,195 --> 00:03:50,428
- Hmm. Modesty is a virtue.
- Uh, but--
95
00:03:50,464 --> 00:03:52,697
- Mr. Critch,
I'll have you run the pa.
96
00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:54,532
How does that sound?
- Ha!
97
00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:57,368
Well, I'm more hard news
than sports, sister.
98
00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:00,739
Uh, yes, sister.
Thank you, sister.
99
00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:02,541
Sorry, sister.
100
00:04:02,543 --> 00:04:04,175
[indistinct chatter]
101
00:04:05,479 --> 00:04:07,211
- Surprised to see you.
102
00:04:07,248 --> 00:04:09,848
Thought for sure you'd get off
with so many health conditions.
103
00:04:09,917 --> 00:04:11,983
- Enh. At least we're in this
together.
104
00:04:11,986 --> 00:04:13,818
What shall we lose at first?
Long jump?
105
00:04:13,887 --> 00:04:17,088
- Sorry, I got out of it.
106
00:04:17,157 --> 00:04:18,556
- What?
107
00:04:18,558 --> 00:04:20,458
- I'm helping my dad
in the first-aid tent.
108
00:04:20,494 --> 00:04:22,327
- [sighs] you gotta get me
in there.
109
00:04:22,462 --> 00:04:24,763
- Not without an injury.
But don't worry,
110
00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:26,364
I'm sure you'll hurt yourself.
111
00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:28,834
Kids: [indistinct chatter]
112
00:04:28,836 --> 00:04:31,436
- Ooh. I see your mom's here.
113
00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:34,072
- Yeah. Why wouldn't she be,
dork?
114
00:04:34,141 --> 00:04:36,274
- I was just making small talk.
I... Didn't...
115
00:04:36,310 --> 00:04:38,376
She seems lovely.
[pa system squawks]
116
00:04:38,445 --> 00:04:40,244
- Mike critch, reporting field-side
117
00:04:40,281 --> 00:04:41,446
At st. Bridget's sports day.
118
00:04:41,482 --> 00:04:44,116
We now go live to sister rose.
119
00:04:44,118 --> 00:04:45,851
[low mic feedback]
120
00:04:47,921 --> 00:04:51,189
- When we think of sport,
children,
121
00:04:51,191 --> 00:04:53,324
We must remember
the ancient romans
122
00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:56,328
Had a sports day too. [bunting flutters]
123
00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:59,197
Theirs was held
in the colosseum.
124
00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:04,202
When they threw st. Ignatius to the lions, he exclaimed,
125
00:05:04,204 --> 00:05:07,706
"I am as grain of the field
126
00:05:07,775 --> 00:05:10,342
And must be ground by the teeth
of the lions,
127
00:05:10,344 --> 00:05:13,578
That I may become fit
to sit at his table."
128
00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:18,083
So, today,
have fun on this field.
129
00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:22,854
Win your ribbons.
130
00:05:23,891 --> 00:05:26,558
But when you pin them
to your chests,
131
00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:28,960
Remember the rivers of blood
132
00:05:29,096 --> 00:05:30,896
That once flowed from the chests
133
00:05:31,031 --> 00:05:33,198
Of the early christians,
134
00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:35,300
Which stained the sand
135
00:05:35,369 --> 00:05:38,303
Within that roman colosseum.
136
00:05:40,907 --> 00:05:43,041
Father?
[mic rustles]
137
00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:45,276
Father handrigan: Let the games
begin!
138
00:05:45,346 --> 00:05:48,914
Mr. Byrne: [clears throat] kids: [cheering]
139
00:05:49,049 --> 00:05:51,215
- All right, people, listen up.
140
00:05:51,251 --> 00:05:53,484
Here is how the day will be ranked.
141
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:55,520
Gold for excellence,
142
00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:57,321
Silver for losers,
143
00:05:57,358 --> 00:06:00,125
And bronze for the also-rans.
144
00:06:00,260 --> 00:06:02,994
And finally, the participation ribbon
145
00:06:03,063 --> 00:06:05,163
Which says you may have showed up,
146
00:06:05,232 --> 00:06:07,666
But you didn't "show up."
- I'll take it.
147
00:06:07,668 --> 00:06:10,001
- In 1965,
148
00:06:10,003 --> 00:06:13,204
I achieved personal excellence
149
00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:16,942
By winning five gold ribbons.
150
00:06:16,944 --> 00:06:19,277
That is a st. Bridget's record
151
00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:22,080
That stands to this very day.
152
00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:24,348
Like me, it is unbreakable.
153
00:06:25,686 --> 00:06:28,019
- I'm gonna break that
scumbag's record.
154
00:06:28,021 --> 00:06:30,221
Mr. Byrne: Ready... Break!
155
00:06:30,257 --> 00:06:32,724
[shrill whistle blast,
airhorn blares]
156
00:06:32,793 --> 00:06:34,960
Kids: [cheering excitedly,
indistinct chatter]
157
00:06:34,962 --> 00:06:36,762
Ritchie: Break a leg.
Mark: Hopefully.
158
00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:39,898
[horn blasts]
- ah! Horn works, that's good.
159
00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:43,702
Oh... No gloves in the glove
box. That's bad.
160
00:06:43,704 --> 00:06:46,571
Now, the first thing
you're gonna wanna do
161
00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:48,907
Is toggle your gauges,
162
00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:51,242
Adjust your seat, and uh...
163
00:06:51,278 --> 00:06:53,845
You just make sure you've got
plenty of room in the ashtray.
164
00:06:53,847 --> 00:06:55,713
- Okay. Okay, pop, I-I get it,
165
00:06:55,783 --> 00:06:58,082
But are we actually gonna
drive?
166
00:06:58,152 --> 00:07:00,218
- Slow down, b'y.
We're gettin' there.
167
00:07:00,220 --> 00:07:02,254
- [sighs heavily] pop,
we've been here forever.
168
00:07:02,256 --> 00:07:04,355
Please, just get onto the road.
169
00:07:04,391 --> 00:07:07,058
- Look, the key is looking
both ways
170
00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:08,760
And then, behind you.
171
00:07:08,829 --> 00:07:10,195
[car idles]
172
00:07:10,264 --> 00:07:12,063
- There's no one behind us!
173
00:07:12,132 --> 00:07:14,198
We are in an empty parking lot!
174
00:07:14,234 --> 00:07:15,934
Please, pop,
let me take the wheel.
175
00:07:16,003 --> 00:07:17,068
You're too old to drive.
176
00:07:17,204 --> 00:07:21,072
- All right, all right,
cut your whining!
177
00:07:22,209 --> 00:07:24,442
[gearshift clunks,
horn blares as car passes]
178
00:07:24,478 --> 00:07:25,911
Jesus! God!
179
00:07:25,913 --> 00:07:28,814
[window rolls down]
frig off, ya prick!
180
00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:31,716
[engine rumbles loudly]
181
00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:34,886
Adult mark: Like a cat on a motivational poster,
182
00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:36,754
Fox was hanging in there,
183
00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:38,556
Fuelled with the kind of stubborn
184
00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:40,625
You only get from hating your gym teacher.
185
00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:43,628
[stopwatch clicks]
- okay. You won. You can let go.
186
00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:46,297
That is a gold ribbon.
187
00:07:46,333 --> 00:07:48,366
All right, that is a new school
record
188
00:07:48,435 --> 00:07:50,101
For the arm hang.
189
00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:52,303
For girls.
190
00:07:52,339 --> 00:07:55,373
The boys record is...
30 seconds longer,
191
00:07:55,375 --> 00:07:58,843
And that is a record I hold
to this very day.
192
00:07:58,879 --> 00:08:01,112
- What?!
I could have beaten that!
193
00:08:01,114 --> 00:08:02,780
You told me to let go!
194
00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:05,317
- Boys and girls have different
physical thresholds.
195
00:08:05,319 --> 00:08:07,385
There has to be
a natural order, 'kay?
196
00:08:08,889 --> 00:08:10,722
[yells] mark, you're next.
197
00:08:10,791 --> 00:08:13,491
[apparatus thumps,
mark inhales sharply]
198
00:08:14,595 --> 00:08:16,127
- [relieved exhale] agh...
[stopwatch clicks]
199
00:08:16,129 --> 00:08:19,630
- [chuckles] and mark has set
a new boy's record
200
00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:23,468
For shortest arm hang ever!
201
00:08:23,470 --> 00:08:27,338
[mr. Byrne's and kids laugh]
202
00:08:28,742 --> 00:08:30,675
Adult mark: If everyone was going to laugh at me anyway,
203
00:08:30,677 --> 00:08:33,278
I might as well make them laugh on purpose.
204
00:08:33,347 --> 00:08:35,212
- Your daughter's doing
very well!
205
00:08:35,349 --> 00:08:37,549
- Yeah! Oh, she's great
at sports.
206
00:08:37,551 --> 00:08:39,317
I mean, not so much everything
else, but you know.
207
00:08:39,386 --> 00:08:40,685
Fox: Mom! Did you see?
208
00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:42,387
I got gold!
209
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:44,022
I would've had the boys
record too,
210
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:45,757
But mr. Byrne stopped
the clock on me!
211
00:08:45,759 --> 00:08:48,960
- Don't go showin' everyone up,
now. Nobody likes that.
212
00:08:49,095 --> 00:08:50,628
Well, sure, it's just sports.
213
00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:52,697
I just don't want you gettin'
a big head on ya, that's all.
214
00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:54,665
- [quietly] no worry of that
around her.
215
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:56,601
Mike sr.: Boys and girls club are selling chippers
216
00:08:56,670 --> 00:08:58,970
And ice cream sandwiches
for fifty cents.
217
00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:01,172
- Why don't you go on back out
there and I'll be right out.
218
00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:03,140
- No, but--
- go on!
219
00:09:04,778 --> 00:09:07,445
Did you have somethin' to say
to me?
220
00:09:07,514 --> 00:09:09,281
- Just gonna offer you
a cookie.
221
00:09:09,416 --> 00:09:11,249
- Chocolate chip. Go on!
222
00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:12,884
- They look store bought.
223
00:09:12,953 --> 00:09:15,653
- Gold. Congratulations.
224
00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:18,990
- You're goin' down, old man.
Suzanne: [laughing]
225
00:09:19,026 --> 00:09:20,692
- Mom! Look!
226
00:09:20,827 --> 00:09:22,927
- [laughs] oh, that's... Stop!
Mike sr.: And the grade 8 boys
227
00:09:22,963 --> 00:09:24,796
Are the victors in the tug of war.
228
00:09:24,865 --> 00:09:27,165
Congratulations, boys!
229
00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:30,267
- Hey. I'm gonna have to start
calling you klondike.
230
00:09:30,304 --> 00:09:32,336
'cause that's one heck
of a gold rush.
231
00:09:32,372 --> 00:09:34,271
Mr. Byrne: All right, bring it in! Bring it in!
232
00:09:34,308 --> 00:09:36,674
- You see, the gold rush
was a migration of sorts
233
00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:38,810
Of prospectors to the yukon--
234
00:09:38,812 --> 00:09:41,045
- Who cares about ribbons,
anyways?
235
00:09:42,215 --> 00:09:43,781
Adult mark: I wanted to go after her,
236
00:09:43,817 --> 00:09:47,151
But fox was as interested in me as her mom was in her.
237
00:09:47,220 --> 00:09:49,687
Fox: Mom!Mary: I think your little one's
238
00:09:49,756 --> 00:09:51,689
Trying to get your attention there.
239
00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:54,058
- Sports, baby! Yeah!
240
00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:58,096
Uh... Huh, huh...
- My god,
241
00:09:58,098 --> 00:10:00,498
Some people don't mind
their youngsters at all.
242
00:10:00,633 --> 00:10:02,266
Mike sr.: Up next, we have my son, mark,
243
00:10:02,336 --> 00:10:04,568
At the high jump!
Just get it over with, son.
244
00:10:04,605 --> 00:10:06,104
It's like ripping off a band-aid.
245
00:10:06,239 --> 00:10:08,439
[shrill whistle blast]
adult mark: I decided to compete
246
00:10:08,508 --> 00:10:09,974
In my own version of the biathlon.
247
00:10:09,977 --> 00:10:13,310
But instead of ski and shoot, I'd run and joke.
248
00:10:14,381 --> 00:10:16,114
Mr. Byrne: Gimme that pole!
249
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:17,682
- Woo!
- Give me that--
250
00:10:17,817 --> 00:10:19,651
- Yeah!
[kids laugh]
251
00:10:19,653 --> 00:10:21,886
Woo!
252
00:10:21,922 --> 00:10:23,921
[ghostly] ahhh... I'm a ghost!
253
00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:26,757
Woo-ooo! Ooo... I'm a ghost.
254
00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:29,327
Boooo... I'm a ghost...
255
00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:30,995
[shrill whistle blast]
- oooo...
256
00:10:30,998 --> 00:10:33,064
- You are not funny!
257
00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:35,200
Mike sr.: Attention, students! Due to rain, some of the
grass...
258
00:10:35,202 --> 00:10:36,601
- Sin. Tsk, tsk, tsk.
259
00:10:36,736 --> 00:10:38,603
Mike sr.: Nothing will be cancelled...
260
00:10:38,672 --> 00:10:40,805
- That little fella's ruinin'
it for everyone, if you ask me.
261
00:10:40,874 --> 00:10:43,641
Not fit, I says.
262
00:10:43,677 --> 00:10:46,244
[indistinct chatter]
- 'scuse me.
263
00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:48,379
You are making an arse
of yourself.
264
00:10:48,448 --> 00:10:49,881
- So? That's all I'm good for.
265
00:10:50,016 --> 00:10:51,849
I can't do any of this stuff.
266
00:10:51,851 --> 00:10:53,784
- How do you know?
You haven't even tried.
267
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:56,821
- I'm sorry I'm not athletic!
I can't change who I am!
268
00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:58,823
- Oh, give it up!
269
00:10:58,892 --> 00:11:01,760
Nobody is mad at you
'cause you suck at sports.
270
00:11:01,895 --> 00:11:04,295
They're mad at ya 'cause you're
makin' this all about you!
271
00:11:04,431 --> 00:11:06,297
You could be the worst one
on the team and still win,
272
00:11:06,433 --> 00:11:08,132
But if you don't even try,
well, then you're just draggin'
273
00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:10,568
Everybody else down with ya!
274
00:11:10,704 --> 00:11:12,237
Hey! [snaps her fingers]
275
00:11:12,372 --> 00:11:15,039
I don't give a flying frig
if you win,
276
00:11:15,042 --> 00:11:16,908
But you are gonna try
your best.
277
00:11:17,043 --> 00:11:18,642
And if you don't,
278
00:11:18,679 --> 00:11:20,578
Oh, you are gonna win a gold
in long distance running
279
00:11:20,714 --> 00:11:24,315
'cause by the jesus,
if I catches ya, I'll kill ya!
280
00:11:24,317 --> 00:11:25,983
Smarten up!
281
00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:28,586
Adult mark: Like a mother birdkicking its baby from the nest,
282
00:11:28,588 --> 00:11:30,855
Mom was a fan of tough love.
283
00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:33,324
She was right. I was letting everyone down,
284
00:11:33,393 --> 00:11:35,126
Including myself.
285
00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:37,862
[shrill whistle blast] I was going to do it.
286
00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:39,663
I was going to show everyone.
287
00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:42,333
I was going to bring home the gold!
288
00:11:42,402 --> 00:11:47,071
♪♪♪
289
00:11:47,107 --> 00:11:49,406
[bar clatters, heavy thud]
urgh! Oh!
290
00:11:49,443 --> 00:11:52,143
[grunts]
291
00:11:52,179 --> 00:11:53,911
Ow...
292
00:11:55,615 --> 00:11:57,014
[pole knocks]
293
00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:58,716
- Just, just leave it.
Just leave it there.
294
00:11:58,752 --> 00:12:00,384
[pole rattles]
just, just... Go on.
295
00:12:00,454 --> 00:12:01,886
Get. Get!
296
00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:04,588
Adult mark: Or maybe a silver would be nice.
297
00:12:07,293 --> 00:12:08,693
T]
298
00:12:08,695 --> 00:12:10,161
Mike sr.: That red-headed girl is in the lead;
299
00:12:10,197 --> 00:12:11,896
Boy-with-glasses is on her heels;
300
00:12:11,932 --> 00:12:14,999
Girl-too-tall-for-her-age is keeping pace, and...
301
00:12:15,135 --> 00:12:17,102
Lastly, my boy is in the rear.
302
00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:18,703
Woman: Woo-hoo!
303
00:12:18,705 --> 00:12:20,237
Man: Hustle! Mary: Come on, mark!
304
00:12:20,273 --> 00:12:22,173
Parents: [clap and cheer]
- I'm here to end you.
305
00:12:22,209 --> 00:12:23,841
- You're welcome to try.
306
00:12:23,877 --> 00:12:25,643
Adult mark: I really tried.
307
00:12:25,712 --> 00:12:27,845
I tried like I'd never tried for anything
308
00:12:27,981 --> 00:12:29,881
In my 12 long years on earth.
309
00:12:29,883 --> 00:12:32,684
- Mark, there's a stack of
participations over there.
310
00:12:32,686 --> 00:12:36,120
Maybe grab a couple
and save yourself the trouble.
311
00:12:36,189 --> 00:12:39,257
Adult mark: But try as I might, I still sucked.
312
00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:41,225
- [breathing hard]
[shrill whistle blast]
313
00:12:42,629 --> 00:12:44,462
Mike sr.: And there'll be a fifty-fifty draw.
314
00:12:44,531 --> 00:12:47,665
If you want a ticket, please see sister margaret
315
00:12:47,801 --> 00:12:49,600
By the bathrooms.
316
00:12:49,636 --> 00:12:51,602
[indistinct chatter]
317
00:12:53,206 --> 00:12:56,073
- Hi.
- Hi.
318
00:12:57,410 --> 00:13:00,010
- Uh, um...
[ice rattles in cooler]
319
00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:02,880
Juice?
320
00:13:07,086 --> 00:13:09,620
All right.
[light pats]
321
00:13:13,092 --> 00:13:15,560
I hope this helps.
322
00:13:15,562 --> 00:13:17,829
- [sharp pained inhale]
- oh, sorry.
323
00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:19,631
Sorry.
324
00:13:19,766 --> 00:13:21,366
[laughter,
indistinct chatter]
325
00:13:21,501 --> 00:13:22,900
- Hey.
326
00:13:22,936 --> 00:13:24,869
Congratulations.
327
00:13:25,004 --> 00:13:26,704
It's pretty cool to see.
328
00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:28,439
You're really gonna break
that record.
329
00:13:28,508 --> 00:13:30,141
- Thanks.
330
00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:32,944
[indistinct chatter] kid: All right, come on.
331
00:13:32,946 --> 00:13:36,214
- Glad somebody cares.
332
00:13:36,349 --> 00:13:38,048
How are you holding up?
333
00:13:38,084 --> 00:13:40,784
- Embarrassed, winded,
334
00:13:40,821 --> 00:13:43,521
Hurting inside and out,
[sighs]
335
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:46,591
But I, I kind of, almost,
had fun that time.
336
00:13:46,660 --> 00:13:48,792
Mr. Byrne: Mike! Kick it back!
337
00:13:48,829 --> 00:13:50,862
Just kick the thing!
338
00:13:53,233 --> 00:13:55,866
Woman: Keep going! - [hard kick] whoa!
339
00:13:55,868 --> 00:13:57,702
[hard thud]
- oh!
340
00:13:57,704 --> 00:13:59,604
- [gasping for air]
341
00:14:01,140 --> 00:14:03,274
- He's fine. Just got the wind
knocked out of him, that's all.
342
00:14:03,310 --> 00:14:05,409
Adult mark: Getting the wind knocked out of you
343
00:14:05,478 --> 00:14:08,279
Was one of those injuries that only ever happened in childhood.
344
00:14:08,281 --> 00:14:09,947
Like getting a stitch.
Ritchie: Mark!
345
00:14:10,016 --> 00:14:12,416
I knew you'd make it!
I'll grab you a soda.
346
00:14:12,452 --> 00:14:14,151
- Uh, don't go!
347
00:14:14,221 --> 00:14:16,420
My leg still hurts.
348
00:14:17,557 --> 00:14:19,189
- Oh. Sorry.
349
00:14:21,027 --> 00:14:23,461
Relax. You can give up now.
350
00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:26,564
- [sighs heavily]
[ice rattles]
351
00:14:26,633 --> 00:14:29,099
Adult mark: My chest was as bruised as my ego,
352
00:14:29,135 --> 00:14:31,969
But I finally had an honourable discharge.
353
00:14:32,005 --> 00:14:35,573
But my mother's glare was colder than any pop can.
354
00:14:35,575 --> 00:14:38,042
I knew what I had to do.
355
00:14:38,044 --> 00:14:40,278
[can rolls in the ice]
- hey!
356
00:14:40,413 --> 00:14:43,514
Where ya goin'?
- I'm gonna win a ribbon.
357
00:14:43,583 --> 00:14:45,817
[horn blares]
- asshole!
358
00:14:45,819 --> 00:14:47,318
What the hell's his problem?
359
00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:49,320
- Pop, you're not even
goin' 30.
360
00:14:49,455 --> 00:14:51,289
Please, it's my lesson,
just let me drive.
361
00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:54,058
- You think I'm too old
to drive, don't ya? Hmm?
362
00:14:54,193 --> 00:14:56,460
Ah, thank god I'm not sharin'
a room with you.
363
00:14:56,529 --> 00:14:58,129
Probably wake up
in the middle of the night
364
00:14:58,131 --> 00:15:00,331
To find you standing there
with a pillow!
365
00:15:00,466 --> 00:15:01,999
- Don't get mad, but...
366
00:15:02,035 --> 00:15:04,001
Your eyesight just isn't
what it used to be.
367
00:15:04,037 --> 00:15:06,137
- And what do you know
about getting old?
368
00:15:06,272 --> 00:15:07,871
Everybody babying you!
369
00:15:07,908 --> 00:15:09,873
Everyone telling you
what you can't do!
370
00:15:09,910 --> 00:15:12,042
- Hey, pop, I, I think
you're going too fast.
371
00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:14,512
- You think I like to drive?
I hate driving!
372
00:15:14,514 --> 00:15:16,681
You know what I hate more
than bloody well driving?
373
00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:19,483
Is people telling me
I can't bloody well drive!
374
00:15:19,485 --> 00:15:21,419
- Pop! You gotta slow down!
[police siren wails]
375
00:15:21,554 --> 00:15:24,288
- Oh! Oh shoot! God!
Oh my god, the pigs!
376
00:15:24,291 --> 00:15:26,223
Oh! What am I gonna do?
377
00:15:26,293 --> 00:15:28,092
- Pull over!
- Oh jeez...
378
00:15:28,094 --> 00:15:29,727
[grunts]
379
00:15:29,796 --> 00:15:32,029
[sighs] I'm an old fool.
380
00:15:32,065 --> 00:15:35,099
Now, they're gonna take
my licence.
381
00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:38,303
I'm too old to drive.
[siren wail gets louder]
382
00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:40,904
[siren stops wailing]
I'm just too old.
383
00:15:40,941 --> 00:15:44,542
[sighs] dammit!
[police door clicks opens]
384
00:15:44,544 --> 00:15:46,110
[door bangs shut]
385
00:15:48,381 --> 00:15:49,913
- Ah, young mike!
386
00:15:49,950 --> 00:15:51,849
Takin' him out for
a few lessons are ya, pat?
387
00:15:51,918 --> 00:15:53,517
- Well, he won't listen to me.
388
00:15:53,586 --> 00:15:56,587
Maybe you'll listen
to officer butt, here.
389
00:15:56,623 --> 00:15:58,723
Ah, he's too timid.
390
00:15:58,725 --> 00:16:00,725
Not quite ready for the road.
391
00:16:00,794 --> 00:16:02,460
Bit of a nervous nelly,
392
00:16:02,595 --> 00:16:05,062
Just like his father.
[pop and officer butt chuckle]
393
00:16:05,098 --> 00:16:08,198
Oh, damn kids today, they just
don't know how to drive.
394
00:16:08,234 --> 00:16:09,933
- That true?
395
00:16:11,805 --> 00:16:13,337
- Yes, officer.
396
00:16:13,340 --> 00:16:15,740
Sorry, I'm just a little
nervous is all.
397
00:16:15,809 --> 00:16:17,842
- All right. I'll let you off
with a warning.
398
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:19,043
Stick to the side roads,
399
00:16:19,178 --> 00:16:21,045
And listen to your grandfather!
[hard pats]
400
00:16:21,180 --> 00:16:24,515
Both: [chuckling]
- yes, sir.
401
00:16:24,517 --> 00:16:27,018
- Um... Well, thanks. I, I, I...
402
00:16:27,153 --> 00:16:29,220
- Hey, don't mention it.
403
00:16:29,355 --> 00:16:32,357
You wanna switch back?
- No, no. Uh...
404
00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:35,259
I think you're ready.
405
00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:38,562
[birds chirp,
pop chuckles softly]
406
00:16:38,598 --> 00:16:40,431
- Mom! I tied mr. Byrne
for the record,
407
00:16:40,467 --> 00:16:42,366
But three-legged race is next!
408
00:16:42,369 --> 00:16:44,102
They didn't have that
when he went here.
409
00:16:44,237 --> 00:16:46,303
I'm gonna beat him!
- It'll all be over then,
410
00:16:46,373 --> 00:16:47,971
Will it? Good.
- Uh--
411
00:16:48,008 --> 00:16:50,774
- I'll bet you got a medal.
[laughs] go on!
412
00:16:51,878 --> 00:16:53,511
- How are ya there, paul?
413
00:16:53,646 --> 00:16:56,113
Lisa not here today? Nah, I 'spose not -
414
00:16:56,249 --> 00:16:57,915
Her eight-months pregnant
and all.
415
00:16:58,051 --> 00:17:00,284
She's probably at home, right?
416
00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:02,253
Well, you should go watch
417
00:17:02,388 --> 00:17:04,121
Your youngster there now,
[button pops]
418
00:17:04,257 --> 00:17:06,490
Or else you might have
to watch your back.
419
00:17:06,559 --> 00:17:09,960
[indistinct chatter]
420
00:17:10,030 --> 00:17:12,897
Button up, now.
[whistle blows in the distance]
421
00:17:12,899 --> 00:17:14,799
[distant laughter and chatter]
422
00:17:16,269 --> 00:17:19,470
I know that I should probably
mind my own business,
423
00:17:19,606 --> 00:17:21,906
But for some reason
that little girl,
424
00:17:21,908 --> 00:17:24,141
She just thinks the world
of you.
425
00:17:25,912 --> 00:17:28,546
And all she wants
is for you to...
426
00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:30,448
Show some kind of interest
in her.
427
00:17:34,054 --> 00:17:36,353
- You're right.
428
00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:39,490
You should mind
your own business.
429
00:17:39,526 --> 00:17:41,292
My love, come on now.
430
00:17:41,427 --> 00:17:43,461
Let's go!
We don't wanna miss anything!
431
00:17:43,596 --> 00:17:45,129
Adult mark: All eyes were on fox.
432
00:17:45,198 --> 00:17:47,164
This was history in the making.
433
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:48,499
- [shrill whistle blast]
434
00:17:48,535 --> 00:17:50,968
Last event:
Three-legged race.
435
00:17:52,371 --> 00:17:54,438
- I'm gonna beat your ass,
old man.
436
00:17:54,507 --> 00:17:56,908
- [chuckles] that's cheating.
437
00:17:56,910 --> 00:17:58,976
We didn't have that in my day.
It's not fair.
438
00:17:59,045 --> 00:18:00,845
- You already cheated.
439
00:18:00,847 --> 00:18:02,880
You wouldn't let me go
for the boy's record!
440
00:18:02,916 --> 00:18:04,916
- Okay.
441
00:18:05,051 --> 00:18:06,383
You wanna compete
with the boys?
442
00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:08,686
Good.
443
00:18:08,755 --> 00:18:10,988
This event will be co-ed.
444
00:18:11,057 --> 00:18:13,257
The winners gets two
gold ribbons!
445
00:18:14,360 --> 00:18:15,960
[shrill whistle blast]
pair up!
446
00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:17,795
Uh, ritchie and tina.
447
00:18:17,864 --> 00:18:20,330
Gary and avery.
448
00:18:20,366 --> 00:18:22,733
Fox and mark.
449
00:18:22,802 --> 00:18:24,268
Adult mark: Mr. Byrne was determined
450
00:18:24,304 --> 00:18:26,604
To protect his record with the most devastating tool
451
00:18:26,739 --> 00:18:29,406
Of sabotage he could find... Me.
452
00:18:33,813 --> 00:18:35,346
R.: And now a first-time
event
453
00:18:35,481 --> 00:18:37,548
In sports day history at st. Bridget's:
454
00:18:37,683 --> 00:18:39,684
A mixed doubles three-legged race -
455
00:18:39,819 --> 00:18:42,486
The ankle twister, the hobbler, the equalizer.
456
00:18:42,555 --> 00:18:44,421
Good luck all!
457
00:18:44,491 --> 00:18:46,290
- Better not wreck this for me.
458
00:18:46,425 --> 00:18:48,626
- Hate to say this,
but I'm pretty sure I will.
459
00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:50,361
[shrill whistle blast]
460
00:18:50,363 --> 00:18:52,296
[inspirational music plays]
461
00:18:53,366 --> 00:19:02,640
♪♪♪
462
00:19:02,775 --> 00:19:04,742
Adult mark: Everyone loves an underdog.
463
00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:07,311
Even our mothers had put aside their differences.
464
00:19:07,446 --> 00:19:09,814
The louder they cheered, the faster I went.
465
00:19:09,949 --> 00:19:13,116
It was as if nothing could stop us.
466
00:19:13,153 --> 00:19:16,020
- [low slow-motion voice]
come on!
467
00:19:16,089 --> 00:19:18,956
Adult mark: Then I did.
468
00:19:18,958 --> 00:19:20,892
- [distantly] aggggghhhhhhhhh!
469
00:19:21,027 --> 00:19:23,994
- [low slow-motion voice]
oh, for... Noooo!
470
00:19:25,031 --> 00:19:27,698
Come on, fox!
471
00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:30,301
[lawn rustles]
472
00:19:30,370 --> 00:19:32,270
- Oh! Go on without me!
473
00:19:32,405 --> 00:19:35,406
Fox: I can't, idiot!
474
00:19:35,408 --> 00:19:38,776
- [low slow-motion voice]
come on! Come on!
475
00:19:38,778 --> 00:19:41,546
[low slow-motion cheering]
476
00:19:43,483 --> 00:19:45,049
Woman: Get off, get off!
477
00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:48,019
[fox grunts, whistle blows,
cheering and clapping]
478
00:19:48,154 --> 00:19:52,022
- Third place for my boy!
A complete shock for everyone!
479
00:19:52,058 --> 00:19:54,157
[cheering and clapping]
480
00:19:54,194 --> 00:19:56,860
- [panting] we won!
- We lost, dumbass.
481
00:19:56,896 --> 00:19:58,262
- But... We won third!
482
00:19:58,397 --> 00:20:01,766
- Still got it!
All time sports day greatest!
483
00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:05,769
[laughing] the greatest,
you hear me?!
484
00:20:05,904 --> 00:20:07,771
Adult mark: Mr. Bryne had peaked in junior high
485
00:20:07,807 --> 00:20:11,308
And he spent decades hanging onto those past glories.
486
00:20:11,377 --> 00:20:12,776
Luckily, that was one record
487
00:20:12,845 --> 00:20:15,379
That fox was not going to break.
488
00:20:15,415 --> 00:20:18,515
That sports day, she won
the prize she really wanted.
489
00:20:18,585 --> 00:20:20,918
- Oh...
- I'm sorry.
490
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:23,320
I wasted your time.
I didn't break the record.
491
00:20:23,356 --> 00:20:27,258
- I saw all o' that, my ducky,
and you were awesome.
492
00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:29,192
Oh...
493
00:20:29,229 --> 00:20:31,595
You're always a winner
in my books.
494
00:20:31,664 --> 00:20:32,930
Sure, look at all the gold
on ya.
495
00:20:32,932 --> 00:20:35,732
You got more gold than mr. T.
[chuckles]
496
00:20:35,768 --> 00:20:37,935
- I got my first real ribbon!
497
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:40,604
- Third place.
- Seriously?
498
00:20:40,607 --> 00:20:42,473
So, there were only three
of you in the race?
499
00:20:42,542 --> 00:20:44,341
- Hey.
500
00:20:45,445 --> 00:20:48,079
[hands clap lightly,
light pat]
501
00:20:48,081 --> 00:20:49,880
- So? How was he?
502
00:20:49,882 --> 00:20:51,649
Pop: He almost got a ticket,
503
00:20:51,718 --> 00:20:53,951
But I talked the cop
out of it.
504
00:20:55,021 --> 00:20:56,353
- [gruff chuckle]
505
00:20:57,423 --> 00:20:59,156
[light pats]
506
00:20:59,225 --> 00:21:00,858
Adult mark: That day, I learned that you never really lose
507
00:21:00,993 --> 00:21:02,393
Unless you quit,
508
00:21:02,395 --> 00:21:04,428
And that with the right people on your side,
509
00:21:04,563 --> 00:21:07,498
Losing can feel an awful lot like winning.
510
00:21:08,968 --> 00:21:15,840
♪♪♪
511
00:21:15,975 --> 00:21:22,847
♪♪♪
512
00:21:22,982 --> 00:21:29,920
♪♪♪
513
00:21:29,956 --> 00:21:37,461
♪♪♪
39261
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