All language subtitles for Men.With.Brooms.2002.720p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

* BOOM DE DE BOOM BOOM
BOOM DE DE BOOM BOOM *

* BOOM BOOM BOOM

* LAND OF THE SILVER BIRCH

* HOME OF THE BEAVER

* WHERE STILL
THE MIGHTY MOOSE *

* WANDERS AT WILL

* BLUE LAKE AND ROCKY SHORE

* I WILL RETURN ONCE MORE

* BOOM DE DE BOOM BOOM
BOOM DE DE BOOM BOOM *

* BOOM BOOM BOOM

* BOOM DE DE BOOM BOOM
BOOM DE DE BOOM BOOM *

* BOOM BOOM BOOM

* BOOM DE DE BOOM BOOM
BOOM DE DE BOOM BOOM *

* BOOM BOOM BOOM.

HERE.

Woman:
DAD, WHAT...

DAD, OH MY GOD!

DAD.

DAD...

Man:
WELL, I GUESS DEATH
WAITS FOR US ALL,

EACH AND EVERY ONE OF US.

I WAS JUST KIND OF HOPING
THAT GOD MIGHT HAVE MADE

AN EXCEPTION
FOR A CURLING MAN.

BUT OBVIOUSLY I WAS WRONG,

AND IF YOU CAN HEAR
MY VOICE THEN YOU KNOW

THAT I'VE GONE TO THAT GREAT
"BONSPIEL" IN THE SKY.

BECAUSE THIS IS THE LAST WILL
AND TESTAMENT OF ME,

DONALD FOLEY.

I'M GOING TO MISS
THIS WORLD.

YES, I'M GOING TO MISS
THIS WORLD.

I KNOW, I DIED
WITH A CLEAR CONSCIENCE,

AND I HOPE
MY UNDERWEAR WAS TOO,

BUT I'M STILL GOING TO MISS
THIS WORLD,

MISS OUR TOWN.

HELL, I'M EVEN GOING
TO MISS THE MINE,

BECAUSE I LOVE THE SMELL
OF SULFUR IN THE MORNING.

AND I KNOW I PROBABLY DIED
OF A HEART ATTACK,

BUT, YOU KNOW, I SURE AS HELL
DIDN'T DIE OF A BROKEN HEART

BECAUSE I HAD YOU,

MY NEAREST AND DEAREST,
THE HUMANS I LOVED.

MY BEAUTIFUL BRIDE, EVA.

SO LONG,
"KAMA SUTRA GIRL."

AND MY OWN
PERSONAL ASTRONAUT,
MY DAUGHTER JULIE.

AND MY TOUGH LITTLE AMY,

YOU'VE DONE
A GREAT JOB WITH BRANDON.

I'M SO PROUD OF YOU.

AND TO MY FOUR
CURLING PROTEGES,

I KNOW I OFTEN TREATED YOU
LIKE A VENEREAL DISEASE,

BUT YOU WERE THE BEST TEAM
A MAN COULD HAVE THE HONOR
TO COACH.

I THINK OF YOU
AS PART OF MY FAMILY.

MR. NEIL BUCYK,

ONE OF THE GREAT
LEAD STONES OF THE GAME.

I'M CONFIDENT
YOU'LL HANDLE THE SENDOFF
OF MY MORTAL REMAINS

WITH ALL THE DIGNITY
AND SOLEMNITY THAT SUCH
AN OCCASION CALLS FOR.

DUU-OHH!

Donald:
OH, AND NEIL,

I WOULD SURELY APPRECIATE
THAT DISCOUNT WE TALKED ABOUT.

HERE IT IS,
HERE IT IS.

OH, GOD, STOP.

TO DONALD FOLEY.

All:
TO DONALD FOLEY.

Donald:
AND TO MY GREAT GUARD ROCK,
EDDIE STRONBACK,

ONE OF THESE DAYS
YOUR SPERM IS GOING
TO LAND ON THE BUTTON

AND I HOPE YOU AND LILY
NAME THE FIRSTBORN AFTER ME.

AND JAMES LENNOX,
MASTER TAKE-OUT ARTIST,

YOU DON'T COME HOME ENOUGH,
BUT I GUESS THAT'S THE LIFE

OF A BIG COMMODITY
IN THE COMMODITIES BUSINESS.

I'D LIKE TO PASS ON
A WORD OF ADVICE:

YOU'LL NEVER GET A WOMAN
TO SETTLE WITH YOU

IF YOU CAN'T REMEMBER
HER NAME.

LINDA, EDDIE, LILY

- THIS IS JEANNIE.
- JOANNE.

JOANNE! SHIT, SORRY BABY.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG
WITH ME.

MUST HAVE "NAMEZHEIMERS"
OR SOMETHING.

Donald:
AND CHRIS CUTTER,
THE NATURAL BORN SKIPPER.

THERE ARE THOSE
WHO WOULD CALL YOU
A SON OF A BITCH

FOR ABANDONING
YOUR TEAMMATES,
YOUR TOWN,

AND LEAVING MY DAUGHTER
STANDING AT THE ALTAR,

AND I'D BE ONE OF THEM.

CAN I TALK TO YOU?

IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
I HAVE TO TAKE MY MOM
TO THE WAKE.

Donald:
BUT I'M ANGLING
TO GET INTO HEAVEN,

SO I SUPPOSE
I'LL HAVE TO FORGIVE YOU.

AFTER ALL, WHO KNOWS,

MAYBE YOU'VE CHANGED.

I CAN TELL YOU,
OUR LITTLE TOWN SURE HAS.

OH, FUCK.
WHAT HAPPENED
TO KELSEY'S?

THEY PUT UP
ONE OF THOSE AMERICAN
"BIG BOX'S" DOWN THE ROAD.

- BLED THEM DRY.
- GODDAMN IT.

THIS IS HAPPENING
ALL ACROSS THIS COUNTRY.

PLACES LIKE KELSEY'S,
TOOK THEM 60 YEARS TO GET
THE CREAKS IN THE FLOOR.

YOU CAN'T MASS PRODUCE
SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

THAT HARDWARE STORE
WAS UNIQUE.

SO WAS MY HUSBAND.
I'M STILL GLAD THEY CAME UP
WITH VIBRATORS.

LET ME TELL YOU
ABOUT VIBRATORS--

OH MY GOD.

- YEAH.

Donald:
I'D LIKE YOU TO DO ME
A FAVOR, CHRIS.

I'D LIKE YOU TO SAY HELLO
TO AN OLD TEAMMATE OF MINE.

I'M JUST A LITTLE WORRIED.
LAST TIME I SAW HIM

HE WAS DOING SOMETHING
IRREGULAR WITH A COW.

HE'S YOUR FATHER.
HE MISSES YOU.

AND NOW,
MY WORLDLY EFFECTS I LEAVE

TO THE THREE WOMEN
IN MY LIFE,

KNOWING THAT YOU'LL
GIVE EACH OTHER ALL
YOUR LOVING SUPPORT.

SO YOU'RE AN ASTRONAUT
BECAUSE HE WAS A LOSER?

TELL ME HOW
THAT FUCKING WORKS.

- I DIDN'T SAY THAT, AMY.
- JULIE, IT'S NOT--

WHAT? WHY DO YOU
HAVE TO TAKE HER SIDE?

A HEART LIKE HIS
AND SHE TAKES HIM OUT
ON THE LAKE?

AT LEAST I
WAS THERE FOR HIM.

THERE FOR HIM?
YOU KILLED HIM.

Donald:
YES, IT'S THE PEACE
AND TRANQUILITY

OF OUR HAPPY HOME
THAT I WILL MISS.

And that concludes
the reading

of the last will
and testament of me,
Donald Foley.

There is however,
a codicil.

It is my wish
that my cremated remains

be placed under
the handle of this,

the last
of the Copernicus stones.

WHICH MR. FOLEY DIED
RECOVERING FROM THE BOTTOM
OF TROUT LAKE.

THOUGH, HOW THEY CAME
TO BE AT THE BOTTOM
OF THE LAKE

IS ONE OF LONG BAY'S
MOST ENDURING MYSTERIES.

The Golden Broom
was established in 1937.

From that time
to the present,

the closest any local rink
has come to winning it is you.

Therefore, I'm asking you
to reunite as a rink

and that you place
this rock containing me,

Donald Foley--

place it on the button
and finish the job.

Remember...

the purity of the heart
is to will one thing.

GOOD GOD
IN HIS HIGH CHAIR,

THAT MAN
WAS SO UNSTEADY.

- UH-HUH.

MARVIN, THIS CAN'T BE
LEGALLY BINDING.

NO, NO, NO.
BUT MORALLY?

WELL, IT'S
A BIG DECISION.

HERE'S YOUR COACH.

Julie:
THERE'S NO WAY THEY'RE GOING
TO DO IT, IS THERE?

Amy:
IT DOESN'T
LOOK LIKE IT.

Eva:
YOU NEVER KNOW
WITH THOSE BOYS, DO YOU?

THEY HAVEN'T SEEN
EACH OTHER IN 10 YEARS.

Linda:
WE ARE TALKING ABOUT
THE COUNTRY CLUB.

HEY, DAD?
WHAT HAPPENS TO A BODY
AFTER IT DIES?

- IT ROTS.
- NO, I MEAN
BEFORE THE ROT.

- A PERFECT OPPORTUNITY,
AND WHAT DO YOU DO?

YOU IGNORE IT,
YOU IGNORE MY WISHES.

SOMETIMES I'M NOT SURE
WE'RE ON THE SAME PAGE.

PASS THE BEETS, PLEASE.

I'M TRYING
TO REACH OUT HERE,

BECAUSE IF THERE IS
AN ABSOLUTE TRUTH--

THE BEETS, PLEASE--

THE TRUTH IS THIS,
YOU CANNOT SNUB

THE TREASURER
OF THE COUNTRY CLUB

AND EXPECT TO BE
LOOKED UPON FAVORABLY.

THE BEETS, PLEASE.
THIRD TIME I'VE ASKED.

TO ANSWER
YOUR QUESTION, ANDREW,

SOMETIMES YOU GET BURIED
IN THE GROUND,

AND OTHER TIMES,
ALTHOUGH IT'S INFREQUENT,
YOU GET PUT IN A STONE,

AND OTHER TIMES
YOU JUST GET MARRIED.

I MEAN, FUN'S FUN
AND ALL, BUT YOU AND ME,
WE'VE GOT PLANS.

WE CAN'T JUST DROP
EVERYTHING, PICK UP
AND GO CURLING.

SURE YOU CAN.

NOW, ED.
RIGHT NOW.

ONE OF THESE DAYS, LIL,
THIS IS GOING TO WORK,
AND YOU AND ME,

WE'RE GOING
TO FIND OURSELVES WITH
A WHOLE BROOD OF KIDS.

"I PRAY THE LORD
THIS SPERM WILL FLOAT

AND MAKE MY EGG
A GOOD ZYGOTE."

OH, JESUS!

- Joanne: I'M TICKLISH.

James:
WELL, SUPPRESS IT.

COME ON,
THIS IS SERIOUS.

EACH TEAM HAS EIGHT ROCKS,
EACH GUY THROWS TWO.

WHEN ALL
THE ROCKS ARE THROWN,

WHOEVER HAS THEIR ROCK
CLOSEST TO THE BUTTON,

OR BULL'S-EYE,

THAT TEAM
GETS THE POINTS.

SO, IF YOU'RE ON
MY BUTTON,

BUT I'VE GOT TWO ROCKS
OVER HERE,

- NO, BECAUSE I'M CLOSER.

WHOEVER'S CLOSER,
THAT TEAM SCORES.

- THE OTHER GUY
GETS NOTHING.
- OKAY.

- LIKE SHUTTLEBOARD.
- IT'S SHUFFLEBOARD, AND NO.

YOU GOT TO THINK
MORE LIKE SNOOKER, POKER,

AND FREE-FACED ROCK CLIMBING.
THIS IS DANGEROUS SHIT.

'CAUSE IF YOUR STONE'S
A HIGH, HARD ONE,

YOU ARE GOING TO SLIDE
RIGHT THROUGH THE HOUSE

AND WIND UP IN THE HACK.

MUST URINATE.

GOOD TO SEE YOU.

SHOOT, I FORGOT
TO TELL YOU ABOUT
YOUR FRIEND IN THERE.

HOW DO YOU FORGET ABOUT
400 POUNDS OF DEFECATING
MENACE, MAN?

I'M LOOKING
FOR MY MONEY.

HOW'D HE SEEM?
YOU KNOW, MOOD

YOU FUCKED
WITH STUCKMORE.

Chris:
COME ON,
SHUT UP IN THERE.

- James: EASY, WATCH THE HAIR.

- BUSINESS DISPUTE.

James:
JESUS CHRIST, HE'S COMING
THROUGH THE WALL, MAN.

PIECE OF SHIT.

WHERE'S MY MONEY?

OKAY, LISTEN.
I TOLD YOU THE MONEY
WAS HERE, RIGHT?

- HERE IT IS.
THAT'S THE MONEY.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT
HE'S TALKING ABOUT.

DON'T FUCK AROUND.
HE'S MANIFESTLY SERIOUS.

I WANT MY MONEY.

OKAY. THE MONEY.
ALL RIGHT, I GOT IT.
IT'S RIGHT HERE.

IT'S KIND OF HEAVY.

OKAY, I REALLY
GOT TO PEE NOW.

Eddie:
JUST LIKE OLD TIMES, HUH?

Chris:
TOO MUCH LIKE OLD TIMES.

WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED
TO MEAN?

IT MEANS A DECADE GOES BY
AND I'M STILL

- PICKING UP AFTER YOU.
- YOU'RE NOT PICKING UP.

NO? A GIANT WALKED
THE FUCKING EARTH,

NOW HE'S LYING
IN THE TRUNK OF MY CAR.

YEAH?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "YEAH"?
AM I STILL SPEAKING ENGLISH?

- YEAH.
- PRETTY MUCH.

THIS IS YOUR PROBLEM.

HOLD UP RIGHT THERE,
MY BON VIVANT.

THIS IS NOT MY PROBLEM.

- THIS IS YOUR PROBLEM.

SURE. ALL I DID WAS CAP
HIS BULK MESCALINE

FOR STREET SALE
AND NEGLECT TO PAY HIM.

CHRIS, CRUSHED HIS HEAD
WITH A CURLING ROCK.

YOU'VE GOT TO UNDERSTAND
ABOUT THESE GUYS.

TO THEM,
MONEY IS MORE
OR LESS A HOBBY.

VIOLENCE,
ON THE OTHER HAND,
IS THEIR VOCATION.

WHAT DOES
THIS HAVE TO DO WITH
COMMODITIES TRADING?

EVERY FOOD CHAIN
HAS ITS BRUTALITIES.

- Neil: THE GIANT IS AWAKE.

STOP SIGN.

- OH SHIT.

IS THERE A PROBLEM,
FRANCIS?

YOU KNOW, NEIL?

SOMETIMES KEEPING
THE PEACE REQUIRES
A LIMITED VISION.

FOR INSTANCE, I DON'T SEE
THAT QUESTIONABLE CIGARETTE
IN JIM'S MOUTH.

WHAT I DO SEE IS A CAR
BOUNCING UP AND DOWN LIKE HELL.

SHOCKS.
THEY NEED WEIGHT.

AH.

James:
SO LIFE'S GOOD,
FRANCIS?

OH, IT'S GOOD AND SPICY.
ESPECIALLY SINCE YOU BOYS

ARE TAKING A RUN
AT THE GOLDEN BROOM.

WHO SAID WE WERE GOING
TO TAKE A RUN?

IN LAW ENFORCEMENT
WE CALL THIS A "DEDUCTION."

TO WIT: I GOT
FOUR DELINQUENTS

WITH THEIR COACH
ON THE ROOF.

NOW, I CONCLUDE THAT
YOU'RE PROBABLY LOOKING

FOR PRACTICE ICE
AS OPPOSED TO,

I DON'T KNOW,
LET'S SAY DISPOSING
OF A BODY.

YOU GOT A PROBLEM THERE?

MUFFLER.

YOU'LL BE WANTING
TO REPAIR THAT, EH?

NIGHT, FRANCIS.

James:
OH CHRIST!

Chris:
OW! WATCH MY FOOT.

Eddie:
THE GIANT IS AWAKE AGAIN.

ME. DOWN. NOW.

OKAY.

YOU'RE DEAD.

SAY HELLO
TO PORT HURON FOR US.

* BOOM DE DE BOOM BOOM
BOOM DE DE BOOM BOOM *

* BOOM BOOM BOOM

Eddie:
ANYBODY HUNGRY?

YOU PACKED
A LUNCH?

NO, LILY DID.
JUST IN CASE.

- JUST IN CASE--

I DON'T KNOW,
JUST IN CASE ANYTHING.

WAIT, EVERY TIME YOU
STEP OUT OF THE HOUSE
SHE PACKS YOU A LUNCH?

- NO, NOT EVERY TIME.

LIKE SAY IN THE COURSE
OF A WEEK?

SIX TIMES, MAYBE.

UNBELIEVABLE.

IF LINDA EVER
PACKED ME ANYTHING,
IT'D BE DYNAMITE.

- SHE'D PACK IT UP MY ASS.
- OW. OW.

SO, JIM, WHAT'S THE STORY
WITH THIS GIRLFRIEND OF YOURS?

OH YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.
WHAT ABOUT HER?

- A COUPLE OF WEEKS,
ON AND OFF.

SHE'S A RENT-A-GIRLFRIEND.

Chris:
GOOD GOD,
LISTEN TO YOURSELF.

ARE YOU SOME KIND
OF MORAL DYSLEXIC?

I THINK YOU GOT THAT
BACKWARDS, BABY.

BEAUTIFUL, ISN'T IT?
- Chris: GUYS, COME ON,

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME
ANY ONE OF US THREW A STONE?

Neil:
IT'LL BE 10 YEARS,
MAY 13th.

YEAH, THAT'S WHEN
YOU WALKED OUT ON US.

WHICH MYSTIFIED THE HELL
OUT OF ALL OF US.

I MEAN, THE THREE OF US
SAT AROUND SCRATCHING
OUR ASSES,

WONDERING WHAT THE HELL
HAPPENED TO CHRIS
IN THAT LAST GAME

THAT WOULD MAKE HIM
WALK AWAY FROM A CHANCE
TO WIN THE GOLDEN BROOM

WITHOUT SAYING
A FUCKING WORD TO ANYBODY?

NOW, IT JUST SO HAPPENED
THAT ONE DAY

I FOUND MYSELF
IN A BAR IN BOOB LAKE.

SUDDENLY THE ANSWER
CAME TO ME IN A VISION.

AND IT WENT
KIND OF LIKE THIS.

Eddie:
DOES HE MEAN A "BURNING
BUSH" SORT OF THING?

Neil:
NO, HE MEANS CUTTER BURNED
A ROCK AND DIDN'T CALL IT.

NO, HE DIDN'T.

YEAH.

Eddie:
IS THAT TRUE?

YOU TOUCHED A ROCK
AND DIDN'T CALL IT?

WE GOT INTO THE FINALS
BECAUSE YOU CHEATED?

James:
THAT'S WHY HE THREW
THE STONES IN THE LAKE.

Neil:
THAT'S WHY YOU
COULDN'T FACE US.

NOW HERE YOU ARE.

AND HERE WE ARE.

AND DONALD FOLEY,
GOD REST HIS SOUL,

HAS ASKED US TO PUT HIM
ON THE BUTTON.

SO I GUESS
THE BURNING QUESTION IS

ARE YOU GOING TO PICK UP
THAT STONE?

- IT'S ON FIRE.
- I MEAN METAPHORICALLY.

FOLEY ALWAYS
SAID THE LIFEBLOOD
OF THIS GAME IS HONOR.

YOU THINK I DESERVE
TO PICK UP THAT STONE?

WHY NOT?
ONE WAY OR ANOTHER

YOU'VE BEEN CARRYING IT
FOR 10 YEARS ALREADY.

- HEY.

HEY.

I SAW YOUR CAR OUTSIDE.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT
AT 3:00 IN THE MORNING?

DRIVING AROUND,
TRYING NOT TO DRINK.

WHAT ABOUT YOU?

AMY, I'M HANGING OUT
WITH YOUR DAD.

WHICH, IN THE CIRCUMSTANCES,
IS VAGUELY CREEPY.

MY DAD
WAS A FREAK, EH?

YES.

I HAD NO IDEA
HIS PLAN WAS SO...

ELABORATE, YOU KNOW?

I THOUGHT
IT WAS A NICE WAY TO GET
TO SPEND TIME WITH HIM.

I'D TAKE THESE SCUBA LESSONS,
AND HE'D GET THE BOAT,

AND WE'D GET THE ROCKS,
AND GET YOU-- GUYS BACK.

AND NOW I THINK,
"FOR WHAT?"

I MEAN, I LOOK AT HIM
IN THIS THING,

AND IT IS
JUST A ROCK.

NO, IT'S NOT
JUST A ROCK.

- NO.

IT'S 42 POUNDS
OF POLISHED GRANITE

WITH A BEVELED
UNDERBELLY

AND A HANDLE
A HUMAN BEING CAN HOLD.

IT MAY HAVE
NO PRACTICAL PURPOSE
IN AND OF ITSELF

BUT IT IS A REPOSITORY
OF HUMAN POSSIBILITY

AND IF IT'S HANDLED
JUST RIGHT IT WILL EXACT
A KIND OF POETRY.

FOR 10 YEARS
I'VE DRILLED FOR OIL

IN 93 COUNTRIES,
FIVE DIFFERENT CONTINENTS,

AND NOT ONCE HAVE I
DONE ANYTHING TO EQUAL

THE GRACE OF A WELL-THROWN
ROCK SLIDING DOWN A SHEET.

NOT ONCE.

I'M A DRUG DEALER.

I BURY DEAD PEOPLE.

I HAVE A SINGLE DIGIT
SPERM COUNT.

AND I'M A NAKED CHEATER.

Chris:
I SAY WE GO FOR IT.

ARE YOU WITH ME?

LET'S DO IT.

James:
THIS WATER'S GLACIAL!

Eddie:
THAT'S 'CAUSE IT'S FED
BY A GLACIER.

Neil:
MY GONADS HAVE
FORSAKEN ME.

Chris:
WE'RE GOING TO HAVE
TO START PLAYING.

Eddie:
YEAH, WE'VE GOT
TO GET INTO GAME SHAPE.

I'VE LINED UP
OUR FIRST MATCH
WITH SOME OLD BOYS.

Neil:
DIDN'T THERE USED TO BE
A ROPE LADDER?

IF I COULD GET
A HARD-ON, WE COULD
ALL CLIMB OUT.

- HEY.
- HEY.

I WAS JUST GOING THROUGH
SOME OF DAD'S STUFF.

NOBODY ELSE REALLY SEEMED
UP TO IT SO I THOUGHT--

I WOULD--

- HEY, COME HERE.
- I JUST MISS HIM.

ME, TOO.

YOU CAME FOR THE ROCKS,
DIDN'T YOU?

- YEAH.
- YEAH.

I HAVE TO, JULIE.
I OWE HIM.

YOU OWE HIM WHAT?

ME.

I OWE HIM WHAT I AM.

YOU'RE A ROUGHNECK
IN THE OIL PATCH, CHRIS.

THAT'S NOT A DEBT.
THAT'S A CURSE.

NOT EVERYONE CAN BE
AN ASTRONAUT, JULIE.

YOU SAY THAT
LIKE IT'S A FAULT.

COME ON, I DON'T MEAN THAT.
YOU KNOW THAT.

I'M PROUD OF YOU.

EVERYONE'S PROUD OF YOU.
HE WAS PROUD OF YOU.

- HE LOVED YOU.

- YEAH, I LOVED HIM.

OF COURSE YOU LOVED HIM.

- NO.

- ME.

YES, ME. YOU MORON,
DID YOU LOVE ME?

YEAH, I DID.

HERE, JUST
TAKE THIS AND GO.

Eddie:
I SAY WE PLAY WITH HONOR.

Neil:
YEAH, AND WITH DIGNITY.

Chris:
BUT REMEMBER, WE SAY NOTHING
ABOUT INCONTINENCE.

- GOOD GAME.
- TAKE IT EASY ON US, BOYS.

WE ARE GOING TO SWEEP
THOSE DIAPERS RIGHT OFF
YOUR ASSES!

THAT'S THE SPIRIT, SONNY.
ASSHOLE.

COME ON BOYS,
LET'S KICK SOME BUTT.

James:
HEY, LOOK WHO SHOWED.

MIND IF I
JOIN YOU?

SURE.

Amy:
BUCKLE UP.
GET COMFORTABLE,

BECAUSE HERE WE GO.

Joanne:
SO, WHAT INNING ARE WE IN?

Amy:
THEY'RE CALLED "ENDS,"

AND THIS IS THE FIRST.
THEY'LL PLAY 10.

UP ONE SIDE AND DOWN
THE OTHER.

Joanne:
THOSE OLD GUYS
ARE KIND OF OLD, AREN'T THEY?

Julie:
DON'T BE DECEIVED.
OLD GUYS HAVE THE TOUCH.

HE'LL LAY THAT STONE IN
JUST SO.

THEY MAY BE OLD,
BUT THEY ARE THE ENEMY.
KILL THEM.

Amy:
YOU SEE, EVERY PLAYER

HAS HIS OWN KIND
OF STYLE.

SOME GUYS HAVE
PERFECT WEIGHT.

- THEY THROW
THE LEAD STONE.
- OFF!

THEN YOU HAVE YOUR GUARDS,
THEN YOU HAVE TAKE-OUT ARTISTS.

AND FINALLY,
YOU HAVE YOUR SKIPPER.

TOGETHER ALL FOUR OF THEM
MAKE A "RINK."

AND OUR RINK
IS DOING PRETTY GOOD.

Julie:
SO FAR.

LIKE RIDING A BIKE.

NEVER LOSE IT, DO YOU?
NOT REALLY.

NO, SIR.

Julie:
BUT OLD GUYS CAN BE CUNNING.

Old man:
WHAT YOU GOT THERE?

TOBACCO
FROM PERSIA.

I HAD A PERSIAN
CAT ONCE.

Julie:
THEY'LL TRY AND LULL YOU

INTO A FALSE SENSE
OF SECURITY.

Joanne: WOW.

NAME OF KITTY.

LEGS FROM HERE
TO LOS ANGELES.

MAY I JUST SAY
WHAT AN HONOR THIS IS?

I MEAN, I BARELY
GOT THROUGH HIGH SCHOOL

AND SHIT-- YOU WENT
TO THE UNIVERSITY.

Amy:
TWO OF THEM, ACTUALLY.

McGILL AND HARVARD.
DOUBLE DOCTORATE.

WHICH IS AMAZING.
BUT YOUR FITNESS LEVEL--

I MEAN, "WHO LET
THE DOGS OUT?"

Joanne:
SO, WHAT THE HECK
ARE ALL THE BROOMS FOR?

Julie:
WITHOUT TOUCHING
THE ROCK YOU CAN AFFECT

IT'S SPEED AND ACCURACY.
YOU CAN KIND OF STEER

A BLOCK OF GRANITE
DOWN 146 FEET OF ICE

AND LAND IT ON AN AREA
THE SIZE OF A TOILET--

WHICH IS WHERE OUR GUYS
ARE GOING TO WIND UP

IF CUTTER DOESN'T PULL
HIS SHIT TOGETHER.

I THOUGHT YOU
WEREN'T INTERESTED.

ADMIT IT-- YOU STILL
GOT IT FOR HIM.

TAP THIS ONE.
RAISE THIS ONE--

- TAP IT.

I THINK THEY'RE GOING
TO DO IT.

WHOO-HOO!

James:
WHOO-HOO!

I HAVEN'T SEEN SOMETHING
LIKE THAT IN '50, '52--

I'VE NEVER SEEN
SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

WHAT HAPPENS NOW?

THE LARGEST PIECE OF STONE
NEAREST THE BUTTON WINS
THE POINT.

- A TAP WITH AUTHORITY!

YOU STUPID, FUCKING...

- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!
- HEY, HEY, HEY!

Julie:
ONE LAST YELLOW STONE
AND A WIDE-OPEN TARGET,

WHICH MEANS OUR GUYS
ARE ABOUT TO BE DESTROYED

BY A GANG
OF OCTOGENARIANS.

THOSE ARE OLD PEOPLE.

OH.

Together:
YEAH!

- I FORGOT THE TAPE.
- I'LL GIVE IT TO HIM.

- I'M SURE YOU WILL.

HERE COMES TROUBLE.

LISTEN, ALL I CAN SAY
IN MY DEFENSE--

OKAY, WHAT WAS
THAT ABOUT?

ABOUT MY EQUIVALENT
OF A "MERCY FUCK."

TAKE THIS.

HI, MY NAME'S AMY,
AND I'M STILL AN ALCOHOLIC.

I'M A SINGLE MOM,
AND MY EX--

I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHERE HE IS.

AND THERE'S
THIS OTHER GUY

THAT I HAVEN'T SEEN
IN A LONG TIME

AND HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW--

THE PROBLEM IS,
HE REMINDS ME OF MY DAD.

THE POINT IS,
LATELY I'VE BEEN FEELING
LIKE I NEED A "TOUCH-ME-UP,"

BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW
WHICH WAY TO TURN.

HEY, YOU CAN TURN TO ME
ANYTIME YOU WANT.

THANK YOU.
THAT'S SWEET.

I'D RATHER SHIT
IN MY MOUTH.

SO, WHAT WAS THAT
WITH YOU AND "SPACE WOMAN"?

SHE WANTED TO GIVE ME
THIS TAPE.

- HER TONGUE WAS IN HER MOUTH.

Recording:
It's the coach, boys.

JESUS, IT'S THE VOICE
OF THE DEAD.

I imagine by now
you've thrown a couple rocks

and you're beginning to think
this was a pretty dim idea.

I just want to thank you
for trying.

THAT'S MANIPULATION.
HE'S TRYING TO MANIPULATE US.

And I'm not trying
to manipulate you.

Truth is, my spirit
can only carry you so far.

What you need now
is some paternal advice.

Eddie:
WHAT'S THAT MEAN?

And Chris, I think
you know what that means.

I'll see you boys later.

- When you're dead, of course.

OH, GOD.
IT'S SO TRUE.

In the meantime,
keep your brooms on the ice.

JESUS!

OKAY, WHAT DO YOU
SEE OUT THERE?

- BEAVERS.

- YEAH.
- OKAY, GOOD.

NO, NOT GOOD.
IT'S AN OMEN.

OKAY, COME ON.
LET'S GET THE BROOMS.

- James: HEY, MAN,
WHAT IF IT IS AN OMEN?
- IT'S NOT AN OMEN.

IT'S JUST A BUNCH
OF CONFUSED BEAVERS.

"AND THE RIVER
SHALL BRING FORTH
BEAVERS ABUNDANTLY,

WHICH SHALL GO UP
AND COME INTO THINE HOUSE,

- AND INTO THY BEDCHAMBER."

THINK ABOUT IT.
WE JUST HAD OUR ASSES
CHEWED OFF

BY GUYS WHO DON'T HAVE
THEIR OWN TEETH ANYMORE.

WE'RE DRIVING AROUND
IN A HEARSE, WE'RE TALKING
TO A DEAD GUY,

AND NOW THE ROAD
BEFORE US IS BLOCKED
BY OUR NATIONAL SYMBOL.

THESE EVENTS,
THEY'VE GOT TO ADD UP,
RIGHT?

"...INTO THINE OVENS
AND INTO THY KNEADING TROUGH."

SERIOUSLY,
YOU'RE GIVING ME
THE CREEPS, MAN.

"AND THE BEAVERS SHALL
COME BOTH UPON THEE

AND UPON ALL
THY PEOPLE...

AND UPON ALL
THY SERVANTS."

Chris:
WHAT DO YOU THINK
THEY ADD UP TO?

THEY ADD UP TO
WHAT THE COACH SAID--
TEMPORAL ADVICE.

YOU HAVE GOT TO OPEN
YOUR ARMS UP WIDE AND SAY,

"HI, DAD."

JESUS!

GIVE ME A HAND.

FUCK!

Gordon:
YOU KNOW, MY SCHEDULE
IS PRETTY RIGID THESE DAYS.

BECAUSE FERTILIZER
WON'T WAIT, YOU KNOW.

I'M CERTAINLY GLAD
YOU SHOWED UP.

A SECOND HAND ALWAYS HELPS
TO KEEP THE MESS DOWN.

YOU KNOW,
I USED TO OWN TWO,

BUT ONE
OF THEM RAN AWAY.

DIDN'T TAKE TOO EASY
TO THE ATTENTION,

AT LEAST THAT'S MY GUESS.
HERE TAKE THAT, WILL YOU?

COME ON WITH ME HERE.

OVER HERE NOW.

YOU JUST STAND UP
OVER THERE.

HOLD THE TAIL.
GET THAT BUCKET UP THERE.

LET ME GUESS.
YOU GOT TROUNCED
AND YOU REALIZED

THAT YOU NEEDED
A PROFESSIONAL,
SO YOU DECIDED

- TO BURY THE HATCHET.

I'M RUBBING
THE COW'S SPHINCTER.

HERE IT COMES.
GET THE BUCKET UP THERE.

- ALL RIGHT.
- JESUS, DAD.

- THAT'S A GIRL.

IT'S A CRITICAL
CROP-GROWING PERIOD,

AND THERE'S NOTHING FINER
FOR IT THAN WHAT ROXANNE
HERE DELIVERS.

THAT'S A GIRL.
BRING THE BUCKET.

GIVE ME THE BUCKET.
THANK YOU.

BEAUTIFUL.

THEY'RE MUSHROOMS.

YES, BUT THEY ARE MAGIC,
MY SON.

THEY ARE MAGICAL
MUSHROOMS.

- DAD, LISTEN--
- NO, NO, I UNDERSTAND.

YOU'VE GOT SCRUPLES
ABOUT THEIR ILLEGALITY,

BUT REST ASSURED I HAVE
NO COMMERCIAL ASPIRATIONS.

THESE MUSHROOMS
ARE MEDICINAL.

CAN YOU JUST STOP
WHAT YOU'RE DOING
FOR A SECOND?

WE SHALL NOT SPEAK OF HER.

I'M NOT HERE TO TALK
ABOUT MOM.

NO?

WE HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO TALK
ABOUT MOM SINCE SHE DIED.

I DON'T THINK
WE'RE GOING TO NOW.

IN FACT, I'M QUITE HAPPY
IF WE JUST LEAVE

ALL THAT IN THE DRAWER
WE PUT IT IN.

AND I'M NOT ASKING YOU
TO LOVE ME, I'M NOT EVEN
ASKING YOU TO LIKE ME.

I'M JUST ASKING YOU
TO COACH ME.

THAT'S ALL?

THAT'S ALL.

MY WORD SHALL BE
LIKE UNTO GOD'S?

ALL RIGHT.

SO BE IT.

* SPRING STARTS WHEN
OUR HEARTBEAT'S POUNDING *

* WHEN THE BIRDS AND BEE
HEARD ABOVE THE RECKONING *

* CARDS DOING SOME
FINAL ACCOUNTING *

* WHOLE TOWN FLOWING
TO THE FARMER'S DIRECTION *

* HE'S BEEN GETTING REPRIEVE
FROM THE HEAT *

* IN THE FROZEN FOOD
SECTION *

* YEAH.

ALL RIGHT, MEN.
YOU'VE GOT THREE WEEKS.

AT THE END OF THAT TIME
YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO PRETEND

THAT YOU KNOW SOMETHING
ABOUT THIS GAME.

* MASS ROMANTIC FOOLS
SEPARATED BY SHEETS *

* WHEN THE CURTAIN CALLS
YOU SPEAK *

* AND ON THE WINGS
OF STOLEN VIRTUE *

* MISSING FROM
THE RADIO, RADIO *

* NOW THIS ROMANTIC DUEL
IS INTO THE STREETS... *

- ...YOU REALIZE *

* THIS IS NOT THE WAY

* IN THE STREET LIGHT DAWN

* IN THE STREET LIGHT DAWN

* THIS BEAT TURNS ON.

OH... OH...
JESUS!

THAT'S SOME HAIR-TRIGGER
YOU GOT THERE, EDDIE.

IT'S NOT THE SIZE
OF THE ARMY

IT'S THE FURY
OF ITS ONSLAUGHT.

* THIS BOY'S LIFE

* AMONG
THE ELECTRICAL LIGHTS *

BETS ARE LAYING
THAT THE CUTTER RINK

DOESN'T MAKE IT
TO THE SECOND END.

JUST YOUR EYES
ON THE STREET,
THAT'S ALL I AM.

UNLESS, OF COURSE,
YOU WANTED SOMETHING MORE.

WHATEVER THAT MIGHT BE.

SOME CREAM
MIGHT BE GOOD. AHEM...

20...

ON CUTTER.

PA system:
Dr. Michelle to Fertility
Clinic admitting.

OH, LIL. LILY.

Lily:
WHAT HE'S SAYING ABOUT
THE MOTILITY OF YOUR SPERM

IS THAT THERE IS NONE.

MOTILITY, THAT IS.

HE THINKS MAYBE WE SHOULD
INVESTIGATE DONOR SPERM.

DONOR SPERM?

HMM...

IS THAT SOMETHING YOU
PERSONALLY TAKE PART IN,
OR...?

Narrator:
There was a time when
beaver lodges like this one

and the busy beavers
that build them had almost

disappeared from Canada
because of...

Eddie:
WHAT ABOUT BUCYK?

HE'S TOO
INDECISIVE.

AND CUTTER'S TOO MOODY.
AND LENNOX IS TOO...

- LENNOX.

HONEY, WE'RE FACING
A REAL SHORTAGE OF
SPERM DONORS.

I GUESS I'M THE ONLY GUY
ON THE TEAM FOR YOU, HUH?

YEAH.

DAMN!

I COULD BLOW A GASKET.

I'M A GASKET.

WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
I MEAN, YOUR REAL NAME?

ANDREA.

ANDREA.

RONALD! STOP.

CONTINUE.

STOP.

- DEPART.

AND WHERE HAVE
YOU BEEN?

OUT.

CURLING, NO DOUBT,

WHILE THE BUSINESS
THAT WAS HANDED TO YOU
BY MY FATHER

GOES UNATTENDED
WERE IT NOT FOR RONALD.

LINDA, YOU WERE LOOKING AT ME
LIKE YOU ASKED A QUESTION,

BUT THAT WAS
ACTUALLY A STATEMENT.

SHAPE UP
OR SHIP OUT.

Gordon:
MEN, WE'LL NOT LET
OURSELVES BE PUSHED AROUND.

WE'LL BE AGGRESSIVE,

AND WE'LL BE
HARD-HEADED ABOUT THIS.

WE'RE GOING UP AGAINST
SKILLED TEAMS,

LIKE ALEXANDER
"THE JUGGERNAUT" YOUNT,

WHO PLAY A TOUCH GAME.

WE'LL ANSWER THAT
WITH SPEED,

POWER AND HEART.

- Together: YES, SIR.

ALL RIGHT,
THAT'S ENOUGH FOR TODAY.

SON...?

CAN YOU GIVE ME A SECOND
OF YOUR TIME, PLEASE?

HOW'S MY FORM?

- IT'S FINE.
- GOOD--

BECAUSE I THINK
IT MIGHT BE PERMANENT.

WHERE DID YOU
GRADUATE FROM--

"SADDAM HUSSEIN'S
SCHOOL OF PHYSIOTHERAPY"?

OH--! THIS IS
UNSPEAKABLY PAINFUL.

- SHUSH.

YOUR FATHER'S
A SUCKHOLE.

NO ARGUMENT THERE.
I NEED SOME ADVICE.

ABOUT WHAT?

ABOUT YOUR SISTER.

- JESUS WEPT.

COME ON.
YOU'RE A WOMAN.

OH, YOU NOTICED.

OH-HH-- SHE MAY
LOOK LIKE A WOMAN--

ALL THOSE CURVES
AND THOSE SWELLS,

EVERYTHING SUGGESTS
SHE'S A WOMAN--

BUT YOU GET CAUGHT
FOR TWO SECONDS
IN HER CLUTCHES

AND YOU'LL COME TO KNOW
SHE IS THE SPAWN OF SATAN.

YOU MIND?

I'M JUST WONDERING
IF SHE SAID ANYTHING TO YOU
ABOUT ME, THAT'S ALL.

I'M NOT
DOING THIS, CUTTER.

- THIS.

- IT WAS BEARABLE WHEN I
WAS YOUR DRINKING BUDDY,

BUT I'M NOT, AND I'M
NOT YOUR GO-BETWEEN.

IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING
TO ASK MY SISTER,
GO FUCK HER-- TALK TO HER.

JUST GO.

YOUR SON'S A CREEP.

NO ARGUMENT THERE.

OH, NO, YOU WOULDN'T.

- YES, YES...
- NO, NO, NO...

- YES.
- NO-OO!

GENTLEMEN, WE ARE
11 DAYS TO LOCKDOWN,

43 TO "MISSION
GREEN LIGHT."

AND M-CON WANTS AN UPDATE
ON ALL THE FLIGHT CREW STATUS,

BEGINNING
WITH THE S.P.D.M.

DR. OLSEN IS GOOD
TO GO, COLONEL.

- ALSO GOOD.

SECOND ALTERNATE FOLEY,
HOWEVER, HAS REQUESTED
EXTENDED LEAVE.

HER FATHER
JUST PASSED AWAY.

"...AND HE'S IN
A CURLING ROCK."

WHAT IS A "CURLING ROCK,"
EXACTLY?

Chris:
I REALLY WISH I HAD KNOWN
WHAT TO SAY TO YOU.

THE TRUTH IS...

I HAD A MELTDOWN.

A FULL-BLOWN, OLD-STYLE
CRACKUP LIKE I SUDDENLY
BECAME FRENCH OR SOMETHING--

SHUT UP, CHRIS.

YOU JUST DIDN'T
LOVE ME ENOUGH.
THAT'S ALL.

OKAY.

WHAT, YOU'RE AGREEING
WITH ME?

NO, I'M NOT
AGREEING WITH YOU.

I'M SITTING ACROSS
FROM AN ASTRONAUT.

- YOU DON'T THINK
THERE'S SOME SORT OF--
- NO.

CAUSAL RELATIONSHIP
BETWEEN YOU DITCHING ME

AND ME ENDING UP
IN THE SPACE PROGRAM?

THAT SOMEHOW ABSOLVES YOU?
FORGET IT.

YOU GET NO ABSOLUTION.

I'M SORRY TO BOTHER YOU,
MS. FOLEY, BUT WOULD YOU MIND?

I WOULD BE
HAPPY TO.

YOU ABANDONED ME,
YOU PRICK.

SHIT HEEL.

TURD.

SCUMBUCKET.

ASSWIPE.

HEY...

WHAT ARE WE DOING?

IT'S SLIGHTLY
COMPLICATED,

BECAUSE I THINK
I ACTUALLY HATE YOU.

BUT HATE IS GOOD,
AND I LIKE THIS HATE.

BECAUSE THIS HATE
IS SOMETHING I CAN FEEL.

* JUST GOT A MESSAGE COMING
DOWN FROM THE PLANET LOVE *

* LOOK OUT ON THE STREET
THERE'S NO ONE OUTSIDE... *

* THEY'RE TRYING TO HIDE

* YOU CAN'T BEAT
THE RAYS AND THE POWER
OF THE PLANET LOVE *

* I PLANT MY SEED
IN THE SOIL OF PLANET LOVE... *

HEY MAN, HAVE YOU SEEN
MY GIRLFRIEND?

- NOPE.
- MAN, I GOT TO GET ONE
OF THOSE TRACKING COLLARS.

WHO'S IN THERE?

IN MY ROOM?
THAT'S AMY.

YOU GOT HER DRUNK?
GODDAMN IT, JIM.

SHE'S A.A.
WHAT ELSE DID YOU
DO TO HER?

HEY MAN, I RESENT
THAT IMPLICATION.

EVEN IF I WANTED
TO TAKE ADVANTAGE
OF THE YOUNG LADY,

I DO HAVE
SOME PRINCIPLES.

THEY GOT
TO BE CONSCIOUS,
FOR ONE THING.

ASIDE FROM WHICH,
I'M IN TRAINING
FOR GOD'S SAKES.

I MEAN,
THE FLESH MUST BE
CONTROLLED, MAN.

FURTHERMORE,
I DIDN'T GET HER DRUNK.
YOU DID.

I WASN'T EVEN HERE.

NO, YOU WERE IN
THE CAR WITH HER SISTER.

HANG ON.
HOLD ON. OKAY?

YOU ARE SUCH
A SWEET MAN.

SHE'S OKAY.
SHE'S JUST TIRED.

IT'S NICE THAT YOU'RE
LYING TO ME,

BUT WE BOTH KNOW
SHE'S SHITFACED.

YEAH, BUT YOU TAKE CARE
OF HER, OKAY?

- GOT TO-- SHE'S
THE ONLY MOM I GOT.
- OKAY, HOP UP.

I'M SORRY.

SIR? WE SEEM
TO HAVE A PROBLEM

CONCERNING FIRST
ALTERNATE DR. MARX.

THIS IS
UNBELIEVABLE.

TWO MEN DOWN
ON ONE FLIGHT?

I WONDER
WHAT THE ODDS
ARE ON THAT?

WE'RE RUNNING THE NUMBERS
AND WE'RE READY TO SET UP

SECOND ALTERNATE,
DR. FOLEY, TO "WILL NOTIFY."

GO AWAY.

* GETTING ENOUGH,
I GOT ME A LOVE *

* THAT IS SO BAD,
IT'S SO BAD *

* THERE WERE TIMES

* I HAVE
PRAYED TO GO ON... *

All: 28...

29...

100.

GENTLEMEN, LET'S GO.

WE'VE GOT
A TOURNAMENT TO PLAY.

Announcer:
FOR YEARS THEY HAVE
JOURNEYED DEEP

INTO THE HEART
OF THE CANADIAN SHIELD.

THERE MAY BE
BIGGER TOURNAMENTS,

THERE MAY BE
BIGGER PRIZES...

BUT FEW ARE
AS LEGENDARY.

SOME SAY IT'S THE ICE
THAT DRAWS THEM,

BUT I SAY IT'S THE FANS.

IN THE MECCA OF LONG BAY,
THERE MAY BE A DOZEN CHURCHES,

BUT MAKE NO MISTAKE,

THIS IS WHERE EVERYONE
COMES TO WORSHIP.

WE EXTEND A WARM WELCOME
TO ALL OF OUR VIEWERS.

- I'M GREG GUINNESS.
- AND I'M PAUL SAVAGE.

This is the opening day
of the Golden Broom
of Long Bay.

- SON, I'M NOT THROWING.

- I'M THE ONE WHO'S GOT
TO SEE THE BIG PICTURE.
- JESUS.

Announcer:
Ladies and gentlemen,
with his typically

understated entrance,
please welcome world champion
and gold medal winner,

Alexander
"The Juggernaut" Yount.

* EVERYBODY, GET UP,
EVERYBODY, GET UP *

* THROW YOUR HANDS UP,
THROW YOUR HANDS UP *

* EVERYBODY, GET UP,
EVERYBODY, GET UP *

* THROW YOUR HANDS UP,
THROW YOUR HANDS UP *

* EVERYBODY, GET UP,
EVERYBODY, GET UP *

* THROW YOUR HANDS UP,
THROW YOUR HANDS UP *

* EVERYBODY, GET UP,
EVERYBODY, GET UP *

* YOU CAN'T KEEP RUNNING AWAY,
YOU BETTER HOLD ON... *

* EVERYBODY, GET UP,
EVERYBODY, GET UP *

* THROW YOUR HANDS UP,
THROW YOUR HANDS UP *

* EVERYBODY, GET UP,
EVERYBODY, GET UP... *

I FEEL A GENERAL
SENSE OF DREAD.

YOU WANT AN EASY RIDE?

THEN PLAY A BONSPIEL
FOR THE GUTLESS.

YOU WANT
THE GOLDEN BROOM,

THEN FIND
YOUR SPINE.

DO NOT DIMINISH THIS.

YOU'RE UP AGAINST
THE EMPIRE OF EVIL.

GOOD LUCK.

FOR OPPONENTS,
YOUNT HAS DRAWN--

OH, MY, THIS IS A NIGHTMARE--
A LOCAL RINK SKIPPED
BY CHRIS CUTTER.

Announcer:
Just to put this
in perspective, Paul,

the Broom remains
the one title that continues

to elude even
the game's dominant
force, Alexander Yount.

YOU GUYS LOOK GREAT.
WELCOME TO LONG BAY.

- GOOD CURLING.
- WHATEVER.

- Official: CALL IT IN
THE AIR, PLEASE.
- TAILS.

TAILS IT IS--
MR. YOUNT?

WE'LL TAKE RED.

GOOD GAME.

OY...

Announcer:
Ladies and gentlemen,
the preparation is over,

and there is no time
for second thoughts,

for this is the moment
they've all been waiting for.

AND THE GOLDEN BROOM
IS UNDERWAY.

GET UP!

ON IT!
OFF IT!

AND THAT WAS A--
WHAT WOULD YOU CALL THAT?

I'D CALL THAT
A "MISS," GREG.

CUTTER-- HE'S GOT
A NICE TOUCH.

Man:
COME ON NOW!

Announcer:
Our matchups today
features Sarnia up against

Rocky Mountain House
on Sheet "A."

On Sheet "D"
we have Medicine Hat
taking on Kamloops.

AND ON SHEET "C,"
KINGSTON IS REPRESENTED
BY "THE TRAGICALLY HIP."

But all eyes
will be on Sheet "B"

where the local rink
is up against the Juggernaut.

OFF! ON!

DO SOMETHING!

JEEZ--
WHAT IS THAT?

- I'D CALL THAT ANOTHER MISS.

SEE, WHEN THE...

THERE'S NO--
THEY...

I'M A LITTLE STONED.

GO, TEAM!

Announcer:
Cutter is certainly
playing with heart,

but after eight ends,
he may be outmanned
and outgunned.

He's going to have
to come up with a miracle
in these dying moments.

He's down by three
and will have to rely on
Yount to make a misstep,

something the Juggernaut
is famous for avoiding.

It may be stressed that
the Juggernaut has yet
to win this tournament...

HI, I'M SCOTT BLENDICK.
I'M WITH THE SPACE AGENCY.

I'M AMY FOLEY.
I'M WITH A.A.

Announcer:
HANG ON, A THIN RAY
OF HOPE HAS JUST OPENED UP

FOR CUTTER IN THE 10th.
TELL US ABOUT IT, PAUL.

CUTTER SEEMS TO BE AIMING
TO PUT HIS STONE

THROUGH THIS PORT HERE,
AND ROLL IT INSIDE.

BUT THAT IS ONE HELL
OF A TOUGH SHOT.

Announcer:
Come on, Paul,
if he makes it

he might be able to force
this game into extra ends.

HARD!
HARD FOR LINE! HARD!

HARD! HARD!

A STELLAR SHOT BY CUTTER
HAS HIM IN POSITION

TO MOUNT
A DYING MOMENT'S COMEBACK.

TIME OUT.
TIME OUT.

SON, THAT WAS
A BURNED ROCK.

YOU'VE GOT
TO CALL IT.

Announcer:
Oh boy, there looks to be--

well, something's
going on down there.

IS THERE
A PROBLEM, EDDIE?

IT WAS CLEAN.
NO TOUCH.

CLEAN!
NO TOUCH!

- CRUSH THEM.

GOT YOUR FLAG
ALL READY TO WAVE?

Announcer:
As is so often the case,
it all comes down to one stone.

And you have to pity
the Cutter rink because

the man throwing that stone
is the "Juggernaut" himself.

OFF!

Announcer:
a triple raised take-out
for the end, and the game.

- MY GOD!
- THE MAN DOES KNOW HIS WAY
AROUND A CURLING ROCK, GREG.

Yount once again proves
he is the master

and totally
deserving of the moniker
"The Juggernaut."

James:
HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO US,
HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TWICE?

Neil:
I WANT TO KNOW WHAT
IT FEELS LIKE TO WIN, ONCE.

Eddie:
LOOK AT US, WE'RE A BUNCH
OF SORRY LOSERS.

Gordon:
YOU HAD A CHANCE
TO CLEAN HOUSE--

INSTEAD, YOU DISHONORED
THE GAME.

Linda:
NEIL.

THERE ARE STRAWS
AND THERE ARE CAMELS
AND THERE ARE BACKS.

LINDA, THAT'S
SO CRYPTIC.

SHE COULD BE TALKING
DIVORCE, DAD.

Linda:
BOYS.

I'M OUT, GUYS.
I'M DONE.

* I AM SO SICK
OF CONSEQUENCE *

* AND THE LOOK
ON YOUR FACE *

* I AM TIRED
OF PLAYING DEFENSE *

* AND I DON'T EVEN
HAVE HOCKEY SKATES *

* DON'T EVEN HAVE
HOCKEY SKATES. *

Blendick:
IT TRANSPIRED THAT
DR. OLSEN DEVELOPED...

A HYPERTROPHIC
PROSTATE.

IN LAYMAN'S TERMS,
A "PLUMBING PROBLEM."

PROTOCOL MOVED US
ONTO AN ALTERNATIVE,
A DR. MARX.

MARX, IT TURNS OUT,
RECEIVED THE NEWS

OF HIS APPOINTMENT
TO THE FLIGHT DECK

RATHER
ENTHUSIASTICALLY.

THERE'S
AN INQUEST PENDING.

AND SO...

Eva:
GOOD GOD AND ALL
HIS GRAND PLANS--

YOU MEAN MY BABY'S
GOING UP IN SPACE?

Sportscaster:
The world championship team
led by Alexander Yount...

HEY, NUG?

- GIVE ME ANOTHER.

- HEY.
- HEY.

THANKS FOR
TAKING BRANDON.

HE'S A GOOD KID.

IT'S SO GREAT
ABOUT YOU GOING UP
ON THE FLIGHT DECK.

I'M REALLY
PROUD OF YOU.

AMY, WHY DO YOU
DO THIS TO YOURSELF?

I'M AN ALCOHOLIC.

LISTEN, THE OTHER NIGHT
IN THE CAR--

WE DON'T HAVE TO TALK
ABOUT THAT.

WELL, YEAH, WE DO.
YOU KNOW WE DO.

THIS ISN'T
ABOUT ME AND HIM,
OR YOU AND HIM.

THIS IS ABOUT
ME AND YOU.

WHAT, LIKE A LESBIAN
INCEST KIND OF THING?

DO YOU ALWAYS
HAVE TO BE SO FLIP?

I HAVE NO CLAIM ON HIM.

AMY, YOU HAVE THIS--

YOU HAVE ALWAYS HAD
THIS SPECIAL THING.

YOU KNOW, YOU JUST
CLICK WITH PEOPLE.

YOU AND DAD,
YOU JUST CLICKED.

YOU KNOW,
SO THE OTHER NIGHT
IN THE CAR IT WASN'T--

I THINK I WAS TRYING
TO GET BACK.

YOU KNOW,
GO BACK IN TIME.

BUT YOU CAN'T,
CAN YOU?

NO.

NO, YOU CAN'T.

AND YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE
WHO CAN TALK TO CUTTER.

* I'LL BE WAY DOWN
A SILVER ROAD... *

- HOW MUCH
FOR THE BEER?
- $1.50.

- HOW MUCH
FOR THE GLASS?
- BUCK AND A HALF.

- HOW MUCH
FOR THAT TV?
- 150.

IT'S ALL YOURS.

GOOD ONE.

Man:
CAN YOU THROW
A ROCK LIKE THAT?

COME WITH ME.

BRING MY DAD.

* ...WANTS TO BE TRAVELED
LIKE THE GRAVEL *

* THAT RUNS FROM MY DOOR
TO YOURS *

* I'LL BE WAY DOWN
THE SILVER ROAD *

* I'LL GO WHERE THE MOON
HAS IT LIT UP *

* TURN OFF YOUR HEADLIGHTS
AND GO SLOWLY *

* I DON'T WANT IT
TO LET UP. *

I DON'T WANT THIS
TO BE ANOTHER FATHER-SON
SHITTY CONVERSATION,

BUT AFTER
WHAT YOU DID TODAY--

CHRIST, IT'S NOT
JUST TODAY, DAD.

I'VE LIVED MY ENTIRE LIFE
TERRIFIED I WAS EXACTLY
LIKE YOU.

WELL, YOU'RE NOT.
I NEVER CHEATED.

YOU KNOW WHEN MOM
WAS DYING, ALL SHE
WANTED WAS A TV.

WE CAN'T AFFORD ONE,
I'M JUST A KID, YOU'RE OFF
AT THAT FUCKING BRIER.

THINK I DIDN'T LIVE
EVERY HOUR OF EVERY DAY
WITH THAT?

I'M NOT TRYING
TO BLAME YOU.

I'M TRYING TO TELL YOU
SHE WANTED A TV SO SHE
COULD WATCH YOU PLAY.

FOR THE LONGEST TIME
I COULDN'T UNDERSTAND THAT,

BUT NOW I THINK--

AND IT'S NOT ABOUT
FORGIVENESS EITHER,

'CAUSE SHE DIDN'T
FORGIVE YOU.

AND YOU
DON'T EITHER.

I DON'T KNOW ONE WAY
OR THE OTHER.

ALL I KNOW
IS THAT...

SHE LOVED YOU.

SHE LOVED YOU.

YOU KNOW...

WHEN YOU WERE
A LITTLE BOY

YOU WERE
MY BEST FRIEND.

I CARRIED YOU EVERYWHERE.
I HUGGED YOU ALL THE TIME.

ALL THE TIME.

HEY.

GET BACK
TO THE TRUCK.

AND WHEN
YOU GET THERE,

TAKE A GOOD
LONG LOOK

AT THAT WOMAN
WHO BROUGHT YOU.

WHAT?

7:00 A.M. SHARP
AT THE LODGE.

"IN THE TOWN
OF STERLING,

IN THE COUNTRY
OF SCOTLAND,

A MAN TOOK
A GRANITE BLOCK,

CUT IT, ROUNDED IT

AND CARVED
A DATE IN IT--

1511.

THE FIRST KNOWN
CURLING ROCK.

SINCE THAT DAY,
CURLING HAS BEEN A GAME
OF THE PEOPLE.

IT HAS FORGONE
TRAPPINGS OF COMMERCE,

EMBRACED ALL COMERS,

CHERISHED THE TRUTH

THAT ALL WHO PLAY
THE GAME

ON ANY RINK,

ON ANY GIVEN DAY,
CAN BE VICTORIOUS.

AND ON THIS GIVEN DAY

ON OUR RINK,

WITH OUR BROOMS
AND WITH DONALD FOLEY
IN OUR STONES

WE SHALL BE VICTORIOUS!

HARD. HARD.

HARD. GOOD.

ANNOUNCER:
Welcome to the second day

of the Golden Broom
of Long Bay.

We have a lineup change
to tell you about.

It's bound to give a thrill
to the hometown fans.

Stepping in for Neil Bucyk,

and rounding out
the Cutter foursome

is the two-time
Brier champion

and living curling legend,

Gordon Cutter.

SWEEP!
SWEEP!

HARD ON!
HARD ON!

NOW UNLESS I'M GOING BLIND,
AND THAT'S ENTIRELY POSSIBLE,

they seem to have changed
their brooms, Paul.

TO THE LEFT!
KICK IT!

Paul:
Looks like they brought
their own rocks to the party.

Announcer:
They did start this day

in a deep hole
against the rest of the field--

in particular,
against Alexander
"The Juggernaut" Yount,

who continues to hold
a commanding lead.

So I guess anything
that gives you an edge,

well, that would be
a welcome thing.

And it looks as though
it may be paying off.

Yes, it may be.
No, wait.

I believe that Moosejaw--

yes-- Cutter has
just defeated Moosejaw!

KEEP YOUR EYE
ON THEM.

Announcer:
If Cutter continues
the way he's going,

and if both Sarnia
and Medicine Hat lose,

then Cutter may just find
himself in the finals.

ON SHEET THREE, SARNIA
IS IN A PITCHED BATTLE
WITH YOUNT.

COME ON, JEEZ.

SARNIA HAS JUST
GONE DOWN!

Announcer:
While over on Sheet "D,"

Cutter has just defeated
"Come By Chance."

Paul, things
are heating up.

It's no stretch to say
that these last few stones

are critical
for the Cutter rink--

so critical, this whole arena
is on the edge of my seat.

Gordon:
SWEEP! SWEEP!

SWEEP! SWEEP!
SWEEP!

HARD ON! HARD--

Announcer:
My God, a textbook
take-out.

They just might do it.

MEDIC.

MEDIC!

Paul:
There's a spot
of trouble on the ice.

GENTLEMEN, PUSH ME
BACK TO THE HACK-- GENTLY.

Announcer:
And the Cutter team
has sustained a terrible blow.

Two points away
from a berth in the finals.

THIS COULD BE FATAL.
I MEAN, THIS COULD BE DEATH.

IS HE ALL RIGHT?

- NO.
- I'M TOP DRAWER.

NOW, WHAT I FIGURE HERE
IS YOU ROLL AROUND

BEHIND THE GUARD
AND FORCE THE EXTRA END.

YEAH, OR I COULD GO
FOR THE IN-OFF--

TAKE THE DEUCE,
WIN IT RIGHT HERE.

WELL, SON...

I GUESS IF YOU'RE ON THIN ICE,
YOU MIGHT AS WELL DANCE.

LET'S DO IT.

NOW I COULD BE WRONG,
BUT IT LOOKS TO ME

LIKE CUTTER IS LINING UP
FOR A DOUBLE, WHICH IS--

WHAT WOULD YOU
CALL THAT, PAUL?

INSANE, GREG.

Paul:
IT LOOKS LIKE HE'LL
BRING IT THROUGH THE PORT,

WICK OFF, AND END HERE--
WHICH IS NUTS--

BUT IF HE MAKES IT,
HE'S IN THE FINAL.

SIT. SIT.
YUP-- ON IT.

Announcer:
Oh my God.
Oh my God!

THE LONGEST
OF LONG SHOTS.

NOW THE HOMETOWN TEAM
IS UP AGAINST ALEXANDER YOUNT!

MY GOD, WHAT A GAME!

Paul:
It's not all
peaches and cream, Greg.

It looks as though
they've lost a player.

Announcer:
How the hell can they
hope to play a final

with only three guys?

OOH...

OOH...

OOH...!

WHAT ARE YOU
DOING, DAD?

LOOKING
IN A MIRROR.

THE ONLY THING WRONG
WITH SECOND CHANCES
IS NOT TAKING THEM.

HEY.

LOOK AT ME--
I'M WORRYING
ABOUT A GAME.

I'M GETTING ADVICE
FROM AN ASTRONAUT.

I AM PROUD OF YOU.

THANKS.

LISTEN, I PROBABLY
HAVE TO HEAD OUT

RIGHT AFTER THE GAME
TOMORROW, SO...

SO...

WE SHOULD...

WE SHOULD
PROBABLY TALK.

YOU THINK?

IT'S NOT EXACTLY
OUR STRONG SUIT.

ANYWAY,
IT'S ALL OKAY.

ALL OF IT?

YEAH--
YOU, AMY, ME--
ALL OF IT.

YOU WIN THAT THING
TOMORROW, CHRIS--

FOR MY DAD.

I'LL BE LOOKING UP
FOR YOU.

YEAH, FIRST WEEK
OF JUNE.

RIGHT BENEATH VENUS--
THAT LITTLE DOT--

THAT'LL BE ME.

UNLESS THAT O-RING BLOWS,
THEN YOU'LL BE AT THE BOTTOM
OF THE ATLANTIC.

YEAH, THANKS.
OKAY.

THEY'RE WAITING FOR YOU
AT THE BAR.

I'M TOP DRAWER.
JUST AIM ME.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW
HOW YOU'RE SITTING THERE,

BUT PLAY TOMORROW--
IT IS OUT OF THE QUESTION.

- PAGE 56.
- CLAUSE "C."

"IN THE EVENT OF AN INJURY,
A TEAM CAN ELECT TO CONTINUE
AS A THREESOME."

THERE.

SEE, YOU CAN STILL PLAY.
YOU'RE NOT OUT OF IT.

YEAH, SHE'S RIGHT.
WE JUST GOTTA VISUALIZE.

RIGHT?
WE JUST GOT TO BELIEVE.

Chris:
BELIEVE, YEAH.

WHO SAYS YOUNT IS
ANY BETTER THAN US?

James:
THAT'S LIKE TALKING
EINSTEIN VERSUS BUDDHA.

IF EINSTEIN
HAD BEEN BORN IN HIS DAY,

I THINK EINSTEIN COULD HAVE
BECOME THE SAVIOR, MAN.

IF HE HAD GOTTEN IN TOUCH
WITH THE RIGHT PEOPLE.

RIGHT, AND THEN IT'S LIKE
THE WHOLE GENIUS QUESTION--

LIKE BEETHOVEN
AND SHAKESPEARE.

WHY CAN SOME GUY SIT DOWN
WITH A PEN, AND WHY CAN'T
THIS GUY?

OR THE SALIERI AND MOZART,
THAT WHOLE THING.

WHY IS ONE PERSON
BETTER THAN ANOTHER?

BECAUSE, BECAUSE,
THIS PERSON...

THIS PERSON WAS ABLE TO GRAB
SOME KNOWLEDGE OUT OF THE POOL.

- BUT IT'S A COMMON KNOWLEDGE.
- EXACTLY.

- EXACTLY, EXACTLY.
- EXACTLY, EXACTLY.

EINSTEIN IS NO DIFFERENT
THAN TIGER WOODS,

OR BILL SHATNER,
OR BOUTROS BOUTROS GHALI.

I THINK WE'RE
GOING TO WIN.

WHOO! YEAH!

Announcer:
The ice is cold,
and these players are hot.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
WE ARE CURLING.

Eddie:
ON! ON!

GOOD. GOOD. GOOD.

GOOD. GOOD. GOOD.

Announcer:
Strombeck opens
with a beautiful stone,

and this game is underway.

SWEEPING.
PICK IT UP.
LEAN ON IT.

HARD! HURRY!

KEEP IN LINE.
KEEP IN LINE.

YEP, YEP, YEP!

Announcer:
That is some kind
of killer granite.

You know, Paul,
after four ends,

I'm getting the feeling
Cutter is really struggling
out there.

Woman:
C'MON CUTTER,
YOU CAN DO IT!

JEEZ, THESE GUYS
ARE GOOD.

- COULD BE THE OUTFITS.
- IT'S THE CHEERLEADERS.

THE "JUGGERNAUT" APPEARS TO BE
VERY MUCH IN THE DRIVER'S SEAT.

Anything and everything
Cutter throws out,

the man from Butt, Montana
seems to have the answer for.

Paul:
I believe that's Butte.

Announcer:
So you say.

If Cutter doesn't find
a little magic,

THIS GAME MAY BE
WELL OUT OF REACH.

Paul:
There's a word
for this, Greg,

and that word is "ugly."

- Eddie: WE'RE EUCHRED.

WHAT THE HELL
DOES CUTTER DO?

FRACTURE THIS ONE,
BRING IT IN HERE.

I'M THE SKIP.
THAT'S THE CALL.
GET TO THE HACK.

IT'S LIKE HE'S STARING
AT THE GREAT WALL OF CHINA.

WHICH, PARENTHETICALLY,
IS THE ONLY MAN-MADE OBJECT

YOU CAN SEE FROM SPACE.

IT'S A TOUGH SHOT.

NO ONE'S CURLED THAT SIDE
OF THE ICE YET TODAY.

WE'RE AMATEURS-- I MEAN,
LOOK AT THE WAY WE DRESS.

GOOD LUCK.

REALLY CREEPY.

SWEEP! SWEEP!

COME ON, ON,
ON, ON!

FUCK! SHIT!
FUCK! SHIT!

LET'S GET TO WORK,
SHALL WE?

HARD!
HURRY!
HARDER.

Gordon:
LAMBS TO THE SLAUGHTER.

THERE'S NOTHING
THAT THEY CAN DO?

WITHOUT BUCYK? NO.

THE TEAM NEEDS
THEIR LEAD ROCK.

Man:
AND NOW IT IS
MY PLEASURE TO WELCOME

THE NEW INDUCTEES
TO THE LONG BAY
COUNTRY CLUB:

MR. AND MRS.
NEIL BUCYK...

MR. AND MRS.
PAUL OSTERBARY...

MR. AND MRS.
SYLVAIN ISONAR...

MR. AND MRS. IAN BART.

- WOOF.
- YO, GASKET.

THEY NEED YOU.

NEIL JASON BUCYK--!
IF YOU STAND UP FROM
THIS TABLE--

YOU STOOD UP.
OKAY.

YEAH, I STOOD UP.
ME--

"NEIL JASON BUCYK."

* BOOM DE DE BOOM BOOM
BOOM BOOM. *

Announcer:
Cutter has called
for a time out.

And I don't mind
telling you I'm feeling
just a little--

OH, LORDY!

I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO SAY.

MAYBE IT'S
OUR APPROACH.

Neil:
MAYBE YOU'RE
SHORT A BROOM.

HEY, YOU'RE BACK.

BACK FROM THE DEAD.
YOU GOT YOURSELVES
A HELL OF A MESS.

GOT ANY IDEAS?

YEAH.
BURY THESE GUYS.

I LOVE IT!

Announcer:
Neil Bucyk has returned
to inject some life

INTO THE HOMETOWN TEAM.
SO LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

ONCE AGAIN,
WE ARE CURLING.

SWEEP IT.
SWEEP.

NOW THEY'RE
COOKING.

WITH A NUKE-ULAR
OVEN.

* GOD IS IN THE MOUNTAINS

* GOD IS IN THE SUN

* GOD WORKS THE CORNER

* GOD IS WORKING IN TIME...

ON IT.
ON IT.

* GOD IS WITHIN

* GOD IS ON...

OFF!

Announcer:
And that rock has Cutter
lying three.

And I'll tell you,
this is, this is...

THIS IS JUST
DAMNED EXCITING.

IT'S YOUR HOUSE.

Announcer:
This is a real biggie, Paul,

because if Yount misses,
it's a brand new game.

But you got to know,
the "Juggernaut"

has killing
on his mind.

I mean look at his eyes.
They're inhuman.

Yount:
OFF. OFF.

Announcer:
Oh my God, he's missed.

THE "JUGGERNAUT"
HAS MISSED.

THEY STOLE TWO.

YEAH!

YEAH.

ALL RIGHT,
WE CAN DO THIS, GUYS.

THIS IS CURLING
AS INTENSE AS THESE EYES
HAVE EVER SEEN.

Get your seatbelts on,
and grab your neighbor's thigh,
ladies and gentlemen,

because these next two ends
are going to snowball

across the county
until it catches fire.

HARD! HARD!

HARD! HURRY!
HARDER!

SWEEP!

Announcer:
Once again it comes down
to a final couple of stones.

Cutter is down by two,
and if Yount lands this one--

well, I think
that will spell the end
of the Cutter dream.

OFF. OFF.

GO BACK! GO BACK!

Announcer:
Alexander Yount.
This man is a killer.

The Cutter Rink
has called a time out,

and I tell you,
from where we sit,
Cutter doesn't have a shot.

Paul:
You said it, Greg.
This house is blocked

- like a basement toilet.
- WISH THAT GUY WOULD SHUT UP.

ME TOO,
BUT HE'S RIGHT.
WE'RE COOKED.

COME ON, THERE'S GOT
TO BE A SHOT.

THERE IS A SHOT.
AROUND THE CLOCK,

FOUR STONE TAKE-OUT,
SPIN BACK UP SHEET,

TIE THE GAME,
FORCE AN EXTRA END.

HOW STONED ARE YOU?

- I SAW THE SHOT DONE.

'73. THE SWEDES.
WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP.

- IF A SWEDE CAN DO IT,
YOU CAN DO IT.
- YOU CAN DO THIS, MAN.

GET ON YOUR BROOMS.

- YEAH!
- YEAH.

Announcer:
Looks like they've
agreed on something,

but what
that might be, frankly,
eludes this commentator.

WHAT'S LENNOX DOING
WAY OUT THERE IN THE WEEDS?

Paul:
It seems like Cutter's
going to attempt to bring

his stone around
like this.

Announcer:
Which is impossible,
and ridiculous,

and completely...

impossible.

THAT'S IT.
THAT'S IT.

HIT THE LINE.
HARDER.

HURRY, HARD!

HURRY IT HARD!
SWEEP!

SWEEP!
HURRY HARD!

SWEEP!

Announcer:
Holy jumping Jehoshaphat,
Cutter has done it!

He has done it!
I knew he had it in him.

HE HAS GONE MANO-A-MANO
WITH THE "JUGGERNAUT"
AND HAS TIED THE GAME.

This is--
what do you call that, Paul?

JESUS!

YEAH!
YEAH!

- DON'T TELL ME.
- IT WAS A TOUCHED ROCK.

- IT WAS A TOUCHED ROCK.

WHO?

WHAT'S WRONG?

I BURNED THE ROCK.

THIS IS NO TIME
FOR SPORTSMANSHIP.
THE TOWN NEEDS THIS.

IT WAS
A TOUCHED ROCK, JERRY.

WE HAVE TO CALL IT.

OH, DARN IT.
I HAVE TO PEE.

OH, DEAR.
IT LOOKS LIKE
A BURNED ROCK.

WELL, IN THE NAME
OF THE "LITTLE BABY JESUS
WHO DIED ON THE CROSS"

NOT EVEN A SLO-MO REPLAY
WOULD PICK UP THAT...
THAT FOUL.

THAT WAS
A TOUCHED ROCK.

RESET.
LET HIM SHOOT IT AGAIN.

RESET.
GO AGAIN.

WHY ARE YOU
GIVING HIM A BREAK?

DO YOU WANT
TO WIN THAT WAY?

Announcer:
That shot was
impossible once.

So to do it again,
mathematically,

it's got to be
twice as impossible.

HI.

- EVERYBODY'S LOOKING AT US.
- YEAH, I KNOW.

AND I THINK WE SHOULD FINISH
THAT CONVERSATION WE STARTED
IN YOUR TRUCK.

WE DIDN'T
SAY ANYTHING.

COME ON.
LOOK IN MY EYES
AND TELL ME THAT.

YOU'RE GOING TO GO
FOR IT, AREN'T YOU?

YEAH.

- HE'S MAKING POETRY, BABY.

ARE WE CHANGING
THE SHOT?

IT'S LIKE
THE MAN SAID,

"THE PURITY OF THE HEART
IS TO WILL ONE THING."

I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.
I GOT TO GO. EXCUSE ME.

Announcer:
That's one rock.

The shard of granite,
that's two points.

plus the ashes
of a dead man--

Oh, my--
Hey, what?

THEY WON!
THEY WON!

I knew they could do it.
They won!

They won the prestigious
Golden goddamned Broom.

They won!
They won!

They won!
They won!

THAT'S MY DONALD,
RIGHT THERE.

RIGHT THERE
ON THE BUTTON.

OH MY GOD--!

EDDIE!

I'VE PLAYED
ON A LOT OF ICE

ALL OVER THIS PLANET
WE CALL HOME,

AND I DON'T BELIEVE
I'VE EVER SEEN
A BETTER SHOT.

IT'S BEEN A PLEASURE.

"ON THIS PLANET
WE CALL HOME"?

HEY, WHATEVER.

HEY!

- WE DID IT.
- YEAH.

NO--
I MEAN, LOOK.

OH MY GOD.

YOU'RE PREGNANT.

- DAD!
- DAD!

YOU DID IT.

AND YOU CLEANED
HOUSE, TOO.

Stuckmore:
JAMES LENNOX!

WHOO-OO!

I SAID...

JAMES LENNOX.

OH, SHIT.

OKAY, MAN,
LISTEN. BEFORE ALL
THE VIOLENCE STARTS,

I JUST WANT TO SAY
THAT WHOLE THING
WITH THE BOAT,

THAT WAS
HIS IDEA.

SILENCE!

I CAN TRACE
MY LINEAGE

BACK THROUGH
12 GENERATIONS
OF CURLING MEN,

AND EVEN IF YOUNT
IS GRACIOUS IN DEFEAT,

HIS SHINY SUITS
AND LUMPEN CHEERLEADERS

REPRESENT ALL THAT
IS CORRUPT IN GOD'S
GREATEST GAME.

Man in crowd:
HEAR, HEAR.

I THANK YOU,
JAMES LENNOX.

YOUR DEBT IS ERASED,
JAMES LENNOX.

OOF--!

- YES SIR.

POUR A DRINK FOR MY FRIEND,
DONALD FOLEY HERE.

AND A ROUND
OF "RIGOR MORTIS"
FOR EVERYBODY!

I DON'T KNOW
THAT DRINK.

POUR THAT WHOLE SHELF
INTO A BUCKET.

ARE YOU
READY, EDDIE?

I GOT SOMETHING TO SHOW YOU
IN THE BACK ROOM.

WE DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS
ANYMORE, YOU KNOW?

- WE'VE ALREADY DONE IT.
- I KNOW.

- BUT I'M KIND OF ADDICTED.
- OKAY.

SERIOUSLY? I WANTED
TO OWN A NURSERY AND BE
A GARDENER, THAT'S ALL.

YOU'RE KIDDING?
'CAUSE I LOVE PLANTS

AND YOU KNOW,
MAKING THINGS GROW.

GOOD GOD IN HIS HIGH CHAIR.
I THANK YOU, CHRISTOPHER.

AND I KNOW DONALD
THANKS YOU, TOO.

ALTHOUGH I DON'T KNOW
WHY I SAY THAT.

I DON'T KNOW
IF DEAD MEN ARE GRACIOUS.

MRS. FOLEY,
WOULD YOU MIND

DOING A SLOW ONE
WITH ME?

- DO YOU THINK
WE SHOULD--

NO.
HOW ABOUT WE--

- YEAH.

YOU CAN LEAVE
BRANDON WITH ME, DEAR.

ARE YOU EVER GOING
TO KISS ME OR DO I HAVE
TO DO EVERYTHING MYSELF?

I SORT OF
LIKE A WOMAN
WITH INITIATIVE.

I SORT OF LIKE A MAN
WHO KNOWS WHAT HE WANTS.

FUCK, YOU GOT
THE WRONG GUY.

* IF YOU ASK ME
HOW WE'LL TUMBLE *

* I'LL FALL DOWN
ON MY KNEES *

* I WILL MEET YOU
AT THE ALTAR, BABY *

* KISS YOU

* KISS YOU TILL YOU WEEP

* KISS YOU TILL YOU WEEP

* KISS YOU TILL YOU WEEP

* HOW MAY TIMES HAVE
YOUR FRIENDS LET YOU DOWN? *

* JUST OPEN UP YOUR HEART

* JUST OPEN UP YOUR MIND

* AND HOW MANY TIMES
HAS YOUR FACE SLIPPED AWAY? *

* WELL, IS ANYBODY SAFE?

* DOES ANYBODY PRAY?

* LIFE IS WAITING
FOR YOU *

* IT'S ALL MESSED UP
BUT WE'RE ALIVE *

* LIFE IS WAITING
FOR YOU... *

CUT.
OH, FUCK.

- ONE, TWO, FORWARD.
ONE, TWO, BACK.
- DO IT AGAIN.

ONE, TWO, FORWARD.
ONE, TWO, BACK.

THAT WAS GREAT.

HE HIT THE CAMERA!

WHAT I THINK THEY ADD
UP TO IS JUST WHAT
THE COACH--

OKAY, CUT.

THIS ONE'S FROTHING
AT THE MOUTH OVER HERE.
HOLY SHIT.

WATCH HER--
SHE'S VICIOUS.

* ...HAVE THEY EVER
SEEN YOUR HEART? *

* HAVE THEY EVER SEEN...

Paul:
CUT. NO TAPE ROLL.

COME ON, DAMN IT.
LOVE ME.

* ...IS WAITING FOR YOU

* IT'S ALL MESSED UP
BUT WE'RE ALIVE *

* LIFE IS WAITING
FOR YOU... *

OW, THAT STINGS.

7:00 A.M. SHARP
AT THE LODGE.

HE'S COMING BACK.

STOP.

UNLESS THAT O-RING
GOES, THEN YOU'LL BE

AT THE BOTTOM
OF THE ATLANTIC.

- YEAH, THANKS.
- ANYTIME.

I TAMPERED
WITH THE O-RING.

- DONALD--
- YOU JUST AIM ME.

MOLLY, HIS NAME
IS GORDON.

GORDON, LOOK,
I DON'T KNOW WHAT--

YOU DON'T SEEM TO KNOW
WHAT TIME ZONE YOU'RE IN.

LILY--

HELP, FOR GOD'S SAKE,
THROW ME A PRESERVER.

- STRAWBERRY, PLEASE.

OW! JESUS.

YOU BROKE MY CRANIUM
WITH THAT MEDICINE
FUCKING BALL.

I DON'T KNOW IF
I CAN TAKE MUCH
MORE OF THIS.

CUT!

* HAVE YOU EVER
REALLY BEEN ALONE? *

* EVER REALLY FALLEN
FAR FROM GRACE? *

* DO YOU KNOW YOU AT ALL?

* DO YOU RECOGNIZE
THIS SILENT FACE? *

* I KNOW YOU

* EVERYONE KNOWS
HOW TO BLEED *

* YOU KNOW ME
AND THINGS WE ALL NEED *

* WATCHING OVER YOU

* THEY'RE WATCHING
OVER ME *

* WATCHING OVER YOU

* WATCHING OVER ME

* BUILDING OUR TRENCHES.