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[JOHNNY PACHECO, "MAZUMBA"]
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Mondo, New York, home to
outcast, misfit, reject, loser,
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pervert, lunatics,
gangsters, pranksters,
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and outlaws, yeah,
neurotic, psychotic,
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maniacs, brainiacs, hippies,
yippies, yuppie, junkies,
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flunkies, monkeys, yeah--
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All trying to claw their
way to the top of the trash
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heap, the top of
the garbage pile,
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all screaming in the American
obscene, me, me, me, me, me,
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me, me, me, me!
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I want my fame, my fortune,
my lousy 15 minutes!
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My-- what the fuck ever
it is, you want it?
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We got it.
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If you don't see it,
ask for it because it
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00:02:01,626 --> 00:02:05,671
comes in all shapes and sizes,
all colors in every dimension--
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Mondo, New York.
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[CHILL MUSIC]
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[CHATTER]
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[WHISTLING]
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[CHATTER]
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[PHOEBE LEGERE, "MARILYN
MONROE"]
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00:03:49,525 --> 00:03:52,987
I was swimming with my
friend Marilyn Monroe,
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00:03:53,279 --> 00:03:57,032
and a wave sucked me
into its undertow.
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00:03:57,324 --> 00:03:59,702
I was desperately
fighting my way
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00:03:59,994 --> 00:04:04,957
to the top when all of
a sudden time stopped.
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Marilyn Monroe, Marilyn Monroe,
Marilyn, Marilyn Monroe.
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There I'll be on
the surface, I saw
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00:04:23,350 --> 00:04:27,688
the platinum glow from my
friend, the beautiful Marilyn
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Monroe.
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Looked into her eyes, I
kissed her once or twice.
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00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:37,239
She was still alive,
and everything was nice.
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00:04:37,531 --> 00:04:52,713
Marilyn Monroe, Marilyn Monroe,
Marilyn, Marilyn Monroe.
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00:04:53,005 --> 00:04:54,632
Suddenly a cloud appeared.
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I said, what do you want?
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It turned quite gray and
said, we want your aunt.
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00:05:01,096 --> 00:05:04,934
But she can sing,
and she can dance.
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00:05:05,226 --> 00:05:08,437
Won't you give the
girl a second chance?
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00:05:08,729 --> 00:05:24,411
Marilyn Monroe, Marilyn Monroe,
Marilyn, Marilyn Monroe.
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00:05:24,703 --> 00:05:28,499
Now she must die
because she is too good.
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It could happen to you.
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It really could.
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I cried and I cried
as they took her away.
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00:05:36,215 --> 00:05:40,094
And they lied and lied
about her every day.
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Marilyn Monroe, Marilyn Monroe,
Marilyn, Marilyn, oh, Marilyn
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Monroe, ooh.
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Marilyn Monroe.
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[WORDLESS SINGING] Marilyn,
Marilyn Monroe, Marilyn Monroe,
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00:06:31,979 --> 00:06:59,214
Marilyn, Marilyn Monroe,
Marilyn Monroe, Marilyn Monroe,
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Marilyn Monroe, Marilyn
Monroe, Marilyn Monroe.
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Marilyn, Marilyn
o-oh, Marilyn Monroe.
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[WORDLESS SINGING]
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[UPBEAT MUSIC]
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[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
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There's going to be
a murder tonight.
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[LAUGHS]
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00:08:33,017 --> 00:08:35,310
Evening, ladies and gentlemen.
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00:08:35,602 --> 00:08:42,526
I am your host, Professor
Mambuzu, master of voodoo,
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00:08:42,818 --> 00:08:48,574
hoodoo, and [COUGHS]
[MUMBLES] uh--
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[SLAPS] Now, I know
that we were all
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born of some grand
Mongolian clusterfuck,
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00:09:00,127 --> 00:09:03,756
be you a bughouse flattop
jerk-off or southpaw
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00:09:04,048 --> 00:09:06,884
fist-fucking fagocyte.
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00:09:07,176 --> 00:09:11,555
However, your deep dish
magma sure do my due.
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00:09:11,847 --> 00:09:13,724
I'd just like to jump
into your clit cave
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until you bark like a
dog and squirt crystal
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thick as a greased hog.
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[CHEERS]
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00:09:19,146 --> 00:09:19,521
[LAUGHS]
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[CHEERS]
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00:09:21,607 --> 00:09:24,651
[APPLAUSE]
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After lunch!
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00:09:28,489 --> 00:09:30,074
Hey, you know,
ladies and gentlemen,
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I got two characters that
I bet you'd like to meet.
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00:09:33,744 --> 00:09:37,748
Their names are Mush
Mouse and Pumpkin Puss.
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00:09:38,040 --> 00:09:38,916
How'd you like to meet them?
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[CHEERING]
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[MYSTICAL MUSIC]
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Mush Mouse and Pumpkin Puss.
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00:09:54,807 --> 00:09:55,724
How you doing Mush Mouse?
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How you doing Pumpkin Puss?
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00:09:57,768 --> 00:09:59,520
I love you, too, guys.
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00:09:59,812 --> 00:10:01,188
I love you so much.
85
00:10:01,480 --> 00:10:02,856
But this world is a horror.
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You don't want to live here.
87
00:10:04,441 --> 00:10:06,360
I'm going to save
you from this shit.
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00:10:06,652 --> 00:10:09,029
I'm going to give
you royal sanctuary
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00:10:09,321 --> 00:10:10,906
in the kingdom of heaven.
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[WAILING]
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[GRUNTING]
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[SCREAMING]
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00:10:32,261 --> 00:10:35,597
[CHEERING]
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00:10:39,643 --> 00:10:43,021
[SCREAMING] What have I done?
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00:10:43,313 --> 00:10:50,362
[SCREAMS] They cover
the land like locusts,
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00:10:50,654 --> 00:10:56,535
those vile human creatures
hoarding the boulevard
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00:10:56,827 --> 00:11:00,664
with their syphilitic
confuzzles,
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defiling every human shape
with their cosmetic urine!
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00:11:08,172 --> 00:11:14,553
These slimy adolescents
deserve no salvation, only
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the cleansing fires
of red hot steel.
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00:11:26,732 --> 00:11:28,650
[CHEERS]
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00:11:28,942 --> 00:11:29,526
[SIZZLES]
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00:11:29,818 --> 00:11:31,653
[CHEERS]
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00:11:31,945 --> 00:11:35,199
[FIRECRACKERS EXPLODING]
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00:11:37,284 --> 00:11:40,662
[CHEERING]
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00:11:51,173 --> 00:11:56,929
And as the mother had her
snatch eaten by the stranger,
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00:11:57,221 --> 00:12:03,101
so the junkie had his rotten
yellow teeth eaten by the mm--
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00:12:03,393 --> 00:12:07,064
[SCREAMING]
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00:12:07,356 --> 00:12:10,651
[CHEERING]
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[EERIE MUSIC]
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[FOOTSTEPS]
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00:12:41,098 --> 00:12:43,934
New York City is
a fucking jungle.
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00:12:44,226 --> 00:12:46,103
Even the architecture
is like a jungle.
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You got a Baroque next to
a Rococo, next to a modern,
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growing crazy like some
kind of a wild exotic plant
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in the jungle.
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[SNIFFS] And here, in this
apocalypse culture, is my cave.
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This is-- this is-- in my
own jungle, my cave, where
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I collect and worship my
own private personal icons
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like Richard Speck, the killer
of eight student nurses,
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the skull of a man that
was murdered with an ax.
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00:13:19,469 --> 00:13:21,930
I've always been misanthropic.
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00:13:22,222 --> 00:13:23,890
Even as a kid, I didn't
have any friends.
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00:13:24,182 --> 00:13:27,227
I just had this
graveyard that was
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across the street from my house.
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00:13:30,355 --> 00:13:31,815
And I would go
into the graveyard,
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and I would talk
to the headstones.
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00:13:34,818 --> 00:13:37,195
And I would believe that
there was someone in there.
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00:13:37,487 --> 00:13:39,281
And that character
was real for me.
130
00:13:39,573 --> 00:13:41,616
And I would live and
breathe as that character.
131
00:13:41,908 --> 00:13:45,078
And that's how my
performances started.
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00:13:45,370 --> 00:13:52,711
And after-- after I moved into
New York, I would sort of--
133
00:13:53,003 --> 00:13:55,297
I would start by driving
around in a station wagon
134
00:13:55,589 --> 00:13:58,633
with my explosives packed in
the back of the station wagon.
135
00:13:58,925 --> 00:14:01,553
And when I'd see a real
rowdy New York City bar,
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I'd just pull over.
137
00:14:03,055 --> 00:14:06,099
And I'd scrawl at the
top of my head in blood,
138
00:14:06,391 --> 00:14:09,061
give Christ back
to the Martians,
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00:14:09,353 --> 00:14:12,564
strap on my explosives
and walk into the bar.
140
00:14:12,856 --> 00:14:14,483
I'd go up to some
pretty girl there,
141
00:14:14,775 --> 00:14:18,695
and I'd say, I don't
want to fuck you, honey.
142
00:14:18,987 --> 00:14:21,031
I just want to cut your
tits off and splice them
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on Dixie cups and sip
wine and punch out
144
00:14:23,408 --> 00:14:24,493
of them all evening long.
145
00:14:24,785 --> 00:14:26,578
Yeah, I want to spread
your snatch with a shoehorn
146
00:14:26,870 --> 00:14:27,746
and plain asparagus.
147
00:14:28,038 --> 00:14:29,581
You know what I'm talking about?
148
00:14:29,873 --> 00:14:31,333
And of course, she'd
get a little upset.
149
00:14:31,625 --> 00:14:33,919
And she'd go over to
her boyfriend and say,
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00:14:34,211 --> 00:14:35,379
you got to kick that guy's ass.
151
00:14:35,670 --> 00:14:37,381
That guy just insulted me.
152
00:14:37,672 --> 00:14:40,634
So the guy would come
over, all tough and rowdy.
153
00:14:40,926 --> 00:14:43,303
And he'd see that
I got, give Christ
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00:14:43,595 --> 00:14:45,472
back to the Martians,
scrawled on my head.
155
00:14:45,764 --> 00:14:47,432
And he'd get a little upset.
156
00:14:47,724 --> 00:14:51,311
And at that point, I'd pull out
my trusty lighter, light the
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00:14:51,603 --> 00:14:54,064
explosives I have
underneath my shirt.
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00:14:54,356 --> 00:14:56,483
And at that time,
as I'm blowing up,
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the whole place
was just confused.
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00:14:58,443 --> 00:15:00,529
And people would dive
under the tables.
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00:15:00,821 --> 00:15:02,072
People would scream.
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00:15:02,364 --> 00:15:04,074
And in the smoke and
in the confusion,
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00:15:04,366 --> 00:15:08,745
I would just walk out
before the cops got there.
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00:15:09,037 --> 00:15:10,831
Anywhere else but
New York City and I'd
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00:15:11,123 --> 00:15:12,541
probably be in jail right now.
166
00:15:12,833 --> 00:15:14,584
But I'm here to talk about it.
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00:15:14,876 --> 00:15:17,629
[CHILL MUSIC]
168
00:15:18,713 --> 00:15:22,634
[RHYTHMIC MUSIC]
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00:15:30,225 --> 00:15:33,645
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
170
00:15:39,234 --> 00:15:42,654
[PLAYFUL MUSIC]
171
00:15:55,250 --> 00:15:57,002
Ahh!
172
00:15:57,294 --> 00:15:59,337
Ahh!
173
00:15:59,629 --> 00:16:00,005
Ahh!
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00:16:09,014 --> 00:16:11,600
[NON-ENGLISH SINGING]
175
00:16:12,976 --> 00:16:15,479
[WHIP CRACKING]
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00:16:17,355 --> 00:16:17,772
Ahh!
177
00:16:23,069 --> 00:16:23,904
[GROANING]
178
00:16:24,779 --> 00:16:25,238
[GRUNTS]
179
00:16:25,739 --> 00:16:26,156
Ah!
180
00:16:26,573 --> 00:16:26,948
What'd you say?
181
00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:27,657
Yes, sir.
182
00:16:27,949 --> 00:16:29,159
[GROANS] OK.
183
00:16:29,451 --> 00:16:29,826
Oh!
184
00:16:30,118 --> 00:16:32,454
[WHIP CRACKING]
185
00:16:32,746 --> 00:16:34,956
[CHAINS CLINKING]
186
00:16:37,209 --> 00:16:37,834
Ah--
187
00:16:38,126 --> 00:16:38,460
[WHIP CRACK]
188
00:16:38,752 --> 00:16:41,505
[GROANING]
189
00:16:47,177 --> 00:16:48,762
[GRUNTS]
190
00:16:49,054 --> 00:16:50,472
[GROANING]
191
00:16:50,764 --> 00:16:52,265
[CHAINS CLINKING]
192
00:16:52,557 --> 00:16:55,310
[SLAPPING]
193
00:16:58,480 --> 00:16:59,105
[GROANS]
194
00:16:59,689 --> 00:17:02,067
[SLAPPING]
195
00:17:05,362 --> 00:17:08,073
[GROANING]
196
00:17:08,365 --> 00:17:11,618
[SLAPPING]
197
00:17:11,910 --> 00:17:12,285
Ahh!
198
00:17:12,577 --> 00:17:14,996
[WHIP CRACKING]
199
00:17:17,958 --> 00:17:19,084
[GROANING]
200
00:17:23,547 --> 00:17:25,840
[CHAINS CLINKING]
201
00:17:26,132 --> 00:17:29,386
[MUSIC PLAYING]
202
00:17:41,815 --> 00:17:45,193
[GROANING]
203
00:18:41,124 --> 00:18:44,002
Rock back and forth, holding
on to the wrapping that
204
00:18:44,294 --> 00:18:46,504
holds us all together.
205
00:18:46,796 --> 00:18:50,425
Colorful ribbons of our
cocoon, the two lovers
206
00:18:50,717 --> 00:18:53,303
pumping hard on the
swing, working together
207
00:18:53,595 --> 00:18:56,556
to get the highest thrilling,
flying, and swooshing
208
00:18:56,848 --> 00:18:58,266
drop in their bellies.
209
00:18:58,558 --> 00:19:04,606
And yet in their loins,
almost sexual but not quite,
210
00:19:04,898 --> 00:19:07,609
sex would get in the way of
the child-like melting of Earth
211
00:19:07,901 --> 00:19:09,819
and sky.
212
00:19:10,111 --> 00:19:13,323
Back and forth, up and
down, wrapping us together
213
00:19:13,615 --> 00:19:18,578
in brightness and softness
and the magical commonness.
214
00:19:18,870 --> 00:19:21,831
A girl laughs on a
big old rocking horse.
215
00:19:22,123 --> 00:19:25,835
AGI, holding his guts
in, blood oozing out,
216
00:19:26,127 --> 00:19:31,925
rocks on the battlefield, rocks
to keep life in and pain out.
217
00:19:32,217 --> 00:19:34,969
Light pulses reflected
off tin and plastic.
218
00:19:37,722 --> 00:19:41,351
Daddy rocking baby
to sleep on his lap,
219
00:19:41,643 --> 00:19:45,188
cozy togetherness in
ribbons, rocking by the fire,
220
00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:48,942
far away from reality.
221
00:19:49,234 --> 00:19:52,487
The Arab woman on her knees
beside the unrecognizable
222
00:19:52,779 --> 00:19:56,491
remains of her husband, rocking
to handle grief and pain.
223
00:20:00,787 --> 00:20:02,997
A crazy rocks on
the street corner,
224
00:20:03,289 --> 00:20:06,668
talking to beings
from another reality.
225
00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:08,378
Wrap us up cozy.
226
00:20:08,670 --> 00:20:09,838
Wrap us formless.
227
00:20:10,130 --> 00:20:13,133
[GUTTURAL LAUGHING]
228
00:20:13,425 --> 00:20:18,513
Admit that we all are wrapped up
together and see through ties.
229
00:20:18,805 --> 00:20:22,475
The gypsy woman, eyes
closed, rocks back and forth,
230
00:20:22,767 --> 00:20:26,855
giving master spirits her voice
and her body to speak through,
231
00:20:27,147 --> 00:20:30,108
rocking in her tent.
232
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:32,902
The boys rocking
uncontrollable from laughter
233
00:20:33,194 --> 00:20:36,489
at their childish pranks.
234
00:20:36,781 --> 00:20:38,908
Rocking surrealistic
in the darkness
235
00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:42,203
and their colorful bonds,
the two nude figures,
236
00:20:42,495 --> 00:20:46,833
using magical passion to melt
together, rock like the blind,
237
00:20:47,125 --> 00:20:51,129
like the insane, like the
holy men, like lovers.
238
00:20:51,421 --> 00:20:54,007
And the magical melting
spreads out of the cave
239
00:20:54,299 --> 00:20:55,675
and into the world.
240
00:20:55,967 --> 00:20:59,220
[ENERGETIC MUSIC]
241
00:21:46,810 --> 00:21:47,936
I love New York.
242
00:21:48,228 --> 00:21:50,814
If you can make it in New
York, you can make it anyplace.
243
00:21:51,105 --> 00:21:52,732
I fought for the
Lower East Side.
244
00:21:53,024 --> 00:21:54,859
I'll fight for the
Lower East Side.
245
00:21:55,151 --> 00:21:58,446
And I don't want no high
rise on the Lower East Side.
246
00:21:58,738 --> 00:22:02,033
[ENERGETIC MUSIC]
247
00:22:27,475 --> 00:22:30,895
[OMINOUS MUSIC]
248
00:23:08,808 --> 00:23:10,602
It's all about survival, man.
249
00:23:10,894 --> 00:23:12,645
You know when-- if you
can make it in New York,
250
00:23:12,937 --> 00:23:14,480
you can make it anywhere
in the world, man.
251
00:23:14,772 --> 00:23:15,189
Anywhere.
252
00:23:24,032 --> 00:23:25,366
I come from the
East End of London.
253
00:23:25,658 --> 00:23:27,201
And I used to think
it was pretty rough.
254
00:23:27,493 --> 00:23:29,329
But now I live where
it's really tough.
255
00:23:29,621 --> 00:23:31,080
I live in Alphabet City.
256
00:23:31,372 --> 00:23:35,084
I live with gangs of Wall Street
brokers, fashion photographers,
257
00:23:35,376 --> 00:23:37,712
merchant bankers,
lawyers, accountants,
258
00:23:38,004 --> 00:23:39,297
and real estate agents.
259
00:23:39,589 --> 00:23:40,840
White people used
to come down here
260
00:23:41,132 --> 00:23:42,216
for a good deal on some heroin.
261
00:23:42,508 --> 00:23:43,801
Now they come down
for a good deal
262
00:23:44,093 --> 00:23:46,554
on some short-term
investment property.
263
00:23:46,846 --> 00:23:48,723
The Mambo has been
replaced by Mozart.
264
00:23:49,015 --> 00:23:50,475
The only rap music
you'll hear around here
265
00:23:50,767 --> 00:23:52,852
is on a compact
disk, just when you
266
00:23:53,144 --> 00:23:54,771
thought it was safe to
relax in the gutter.
267
00:24:04,405 --> 00:24:06,491
[NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]
268
00:24:27,679 --> 00:24:30,348
New York is the
clitoris of the world.
269
00:24:30,640 --> 00:24:31,975
This is a woman's
time and space.
270
00:24:32,266 --> 00:24:33,267
We're here to celebrate.
271
00:24:47,699 --> 00:24:51,035
[JOEY ARIAS, "FISH OUT OF
WATER"]
272
00:24:58,543 --> 00:25:01,921
[BEATBOXING]
273
00:25:07,927 --> 00:25:12,515
(SINGING) Fish out of
water, now what can I do?
274
00:25:12,807 --> 00:25:22,275
[BEATBOXING] Fish out of
water, my face is so blue.
275
00:25:22,567 --> 00:25:31,743
[BEATBOXING] Fish out of water,
I'll scream then I'll cry.
276
00:25:32,035 --> 00:25:36,497
Fish out of water,
it's your turn tonight.
277
00:25:36,789 --> 00:25:37,832
You got it going now.
278
00:25:38,124 --> 00:25:38,791
I'm on beat.
279
00:25:39,083 --> 00:25:40,168
You know there's
something wrong.
280
00:25:40,460 --> 00:25:41,169
No feet!
281
00:25:41,461 --> 00:25:42,587
You see how easy now.
282
00:25:42,879 --> 00:25:43,546
Aha!
283
00:25:43,838 --> 00:25:44,839
You see how east now.
284
00:25:45,131 --> 00:25:45,673
Walk beat.
285
00:25:45,965 --> 00:25:48,801
[BEATBOXING]
286
00:25:55,224 --> 00:25:59,896
(SINGING) Fish out of
water in Mondo, New York.
287
00:26:00,188 --> 00:26:04,692
Fish out of water, there's
lots more in store.
288
00:26:04,984 --> 00:26:09,489
Fish out of water, you
dream then ask why.
289
00:26:09,781 --> 00:26:14,160
Fish out of water,
it's your turn tonight.
290
00:26:14,452 --> 00:26:17,038
The cost of living
now is bad taste.
291
00:26:17,330 --> 00:26:17,789
Look at the aces.
292
00:26:18,081 --> 00:26:19,290
It's so insane!
293
00:26:19,582 --> 00:26:20,374
Time is ticking now.
294
00:26:20,666 --> 00:26:21,542
This coffee's hot.
295
00:26:21,834 --> 00:26:22,752
That's why I don't clothe.
296
00:26:23,044 --> 00:26:23,961
And you're not!
297
00:26:24,253 --> 00:26:28,466
(SINGING) Fish out of
water, now what can we do?
298
00:26:28,758 --> 00:26:33,346
Fish out of water,
our face are so blue.
299
00:26:33,638 --> 00:26:34,555
We're people's juice now.
300
00:26:34,847 --> 00:26:36,099
They call us names.
301
00:26:36,390 --> 00:26:37,183
Hey, turkey!
302
00:26:37,475 --> 00:26:38,059
Weirdo!
303
00:26:38,351 --> 00:26:39,102
Buckle old.
304
00:26:39,393 --> 00:26:40,228
Hobo!
305
00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:41,145
Slag!
306
00:26:41,437 --> 00:26:44,357
Yo Mama.
307
00:26:44,649 --> 00:26:45,191
Your defeat?
308
00:26:45,483 --> 00:26:46,442
Would that be it now?
309
00:26:46,734 --> 00:26:48,027
Hey, skipper beat.
310
00:26:48,319 --> 00:26:50,154
And wrong Take me.
311
00:26:50,446 --> 00:26:51,239
You see how easy now.
312
00:26:51,531 --> 00:26:52,323
We're on the beat.
313
00:26:52,615 --> 00:26:56,869
(SINGING) Fish out of the
water in Mondo, New York.
314
00:26:57,161 --> 00:27:01,749
Fish out of water, there's
lots more in store.
315
00:27:02,041 --> 00:27:06,170
Fish out of the water,
you'll dream then ask why.
316
00:27:06,462 --> 00:27:10,091
Fish out of water,
it your turn tonight.
317
00:27:28,109 --> 00:27:29,402
New York is my town.
318
00:27:29,694 --> 00:27:30,278
Did you hear me?
319
00:27:30,570 --> 00:27:31,863
New York is my town.
320
00:27:32,155 --> 00:27:33,364
Forget about that Edwina Koch.
321
00:27:33,656 --> 00:27:37,368
[LAUGHS] [GRUNTS] I'm the
mayor of New York City.
322
00:27:37,660 --> 00:27:42,206
I own Fifth Avenue, Wall
Street, the money, the people,
323
00:27:42,498 --> 00:27:45,501
the city, the trees, the
street vendors, the musicians,
324
00:27:45,793 --> 00:27:46,961
the artists, the drug addicts.
325
00:27:47,253 --> 00:27:49,005
It all belongs to me.
326
00:27:49,297 --> 00:27:52,800
I own everything you see here--
the buildings, everything!
327
00:27:53,092 --> 00:27:53,509
Do you hear me?
328
00:27:53,801 --> 00:27:56,637
If you don't believe me, I'll
turn your heat off in February
329
00:27:56,929 --> 00:27:58,055
and put it back on in August.
330
00:27:58,347 --> 00:28:00,808
[LAUGHS]
331
00:28:01,100 --> 00:28:03,853
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
332
00:28:06,439 --> 00:28:09,817
[CHATTER]
333
00:28:11,360 --> 00:28:13,529
Me and guys sell drugs out
here to support my family.
334
00:28:13,821 --> 00:28:15,406
It's just like a 9:00
to 5:00 job to me, just
335
00:28:15,698 --> 00:28:16,824
like anything else.
336
00:28:17,116 --> 00:28:19,243
But the thing that bugs me
the most is when I get busted,
337
00:28:19,535 --> 00:28:20,453
the cops are younger than me.
338
00:28:20,745 --> 00:28:23,998
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
339
00:28:43,976 --> 00:28:47,396
[CHATTER]
340
00:29:22,181 --> 00:29:23,516
[CHEERING]
341
00:29:23,808 --> 00:29:25,476
Give a round of applause.
342
00:29:25,768 --> 00:29:26,519
(CHANTING) Charlie!
343
00:29:26,811 --> 00:29:27,603
Charlie!
344
00:29:27,895 --> 00:29:28,604
Charlie!
345
00:29:28,896 --> 00:29:31,107
Charlie!
346
00:29:31,399 --> 00:29:32,608
Hey!
347
00:29:32,900 --> 00:29:36,153
[CHEERING]
348
00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:40,950
We got a nice crowd here.
349
00:29:41,242 --> 00:29:42,493
Yeah!
350
00:29:42,785 --> 00:29:44,537
I love a New York audience.
351
00:29:44,829 --> 00:29:46,414
[CHEERING]
352
00:29:46,706 --> 00:29:47,707
I mean, look at this crowd.
353
00:29:47,999 --> 00:29:48,916
We're in the Village.
354
00:29:49,208 --> 00:29:49,917
I love the Village.
355
00:29:50,209 --> 00:29:52,295
We got a nice mixed crowd.
356
00:29:52,586 --> 00:29:53,004
Look what we got.
357
00:29:53,296 --> 00:29:54,255
We got white folks.
358
00:29:54,547 --> 00:29:56,007
[CHEERING]
359
00:29:56,299 --> 00:29:58,175
We got Black folks!
360
00:29:58,467 --> 00:29:59,385
[CHEERING]
361
00:29:59,677 --> 00:30:01,053
We got Puerto Ricans!
362
00:30:01,345 --> 00:30:02,555
[CHEERING]
363
00:30:02,847 --> 00:30:03,556
Puerto Ricans!
364
00:30:03,848 --> 00:30:04,682
[CHEERING]
365
00:30:04,974 --> 00:30:05,725
Puerto Ricans!
366
00:30:06,017 --> 00:30:08,352
[LAUGHTER]
367
00:30:08,644 --> 00:30:10,271
We got a lot of
fucking Puerto Ricans.
368
00:30:10,563 --> 00:30:11,564
[LAUGHTER]
369
00:30:11,856 --> 00:30:13,941
But I'm not going to fuck
with the Puerto Ricans, man,
370
00:30:14,233 --> 00:30:17,069
because y'all born
with knives, right?
371
00:30:17,361 --> 00:30:19,488
Y'all cut me up, and I won't
even know what you're saying.
372
00:30:19,780 --> 00:30:21,032
[MUMBLING]
373
00:30:21,324 --> 00:30:22,325
[LAUGHTER]
374
00:30:22,616 --> 00:30:25,703
And when you finish,
you go, que pasa, bro.
375
00:30:25,995 --> 00:30:28,205
Because I got into a fight
with a Puerto Rican kid
376
00:30:28,497 --> 00:30:30,416
and I was winning, I
was bouncing around
377
00:30:30,708 --> 00:30:31,542
like Sugar Ray Leonard.
378
00:30:31,834 --> 00:30:32,710
I was bam-bam-bam!
379
00:30:33,002 --> 00:30:34,545
He was only about that tall.
380
00:30:34,837 --> 00:30:36,088
[LAUGHTER]
381
00:30:36,380 --> 00:30:37,965
Then all of a sudden,
he went like this.
382
00:30:38,257 --> 00:30:43,012
[WHISTLES] And I was surrounded
by a small Puerto Rican
383
00:30:43,304 --> 00:30:44,388
family of 4,000.
384
00:30:44,680 --> 00:30:45,598
[LAUGHTER]
385
00:30:45,890 --> 00:30:46,891
I like everything, man.
386
00:30:47,183 --> 00:30:50,394
Let me borrow it, OK?
387
00:30:50,686 --> 00:30:52,104
I like pocket books.
388
00:30:52,396 --> 00:30:53,856
I love pocket books.
389
00:30:54,148 --> 00:30:56,317
I like the way white women
walk with their pocketbook
390
00:30:56,609 --> 00:30:58,778
when there's no Negroes around.
391
00:30:59,070 --> 00:31:00,654
(SINGING) I don't
see no niggers.
392
00:31:00,946 --> 00:31:01,572
[LAUGHTER]
393
00:31:01,864 --> 00:31:03,574
And you know what else
I like about New York?
394
00:31:03,866 --> 00:31:06,744
I like the way different
nationalities go to work.
395
00:31:07,036 --> 00:31:09,080
Everybody goes to
work different.
396
00:31:09,372 --> 00:31:11,332
For instance,
Caucasian businessmen--
397
00:31:11,624 --> 00:31:12,792
I need some white
people glasses.
398
00:31:15,503 --> 00:31:17,630
White people glasses,
right there, right there.
399
00:31:22,718 --> 00:31:23,052
Damn.
400
00:31:23,344 --> 00:31:24,261
You can't see shit.
401
00:31:24,553 --> 00:31:25,971
[LAUGHTER]
402
00:31:27,473 --> 00:31:28,641
I can't touch my dick.
403
00:31:28,933 --> 00:31:32,061
[LAUGHTER]
404
00:31:32,353 --> 00:31:34,021
How do white guys go to work?
405
00:31:34,313 --> 00:31:36,357
They got their briefcase.
406
00:31:36,649 --> 00:31:38,401
I can walk just like the
white man going to work.
407
00:31:38,692 --> 00:31:39,693
Watch this, white guys.
408
00:31:39,985 --> 00:31:43,239
[LAUGHTER]
409
00:31:45,324 --> 00:31:48,160
I love when they stand
on a corner and go--
410
00:31:48,452 --> 00:31:50,579
[LAUGHTER]
411
00:31:50,871 --> 00:31:52,623
And how do Black
folks go to work?
412
00:31:52,915 --> 00:31:56,127
We'd be talking
about, fuck it, I
413
00:31:56,419 --> 00:31:57,628
should get there
by payday, yeah.
414
00:31:57,920 --> 00:31:58,546
[LAUGHTER]
415
00:31:58,838 --> 00:32:00,047
[APPLAUSE]
416
00:32:02,508 --> 00:32:04,802
I'd do Puerto Ricans
but y'all don't work.
417
00:32:05,094 --> 00:32:05,803
[LAUGHTER]
418
00:32:06,095 --> 00:32:07,263
[APPLAUSE]
419
00:32:07,555 --> 00:32:08,347
There you go.
420
00:32:11,350 --> 00:32:11,892
I'm only kidding.
421
00:32:12,184 --> 00:32:13,811
If you're Puerto Rican,
I like Puerto Ricans.
422
00:32:14,103 --> 00:32:15,855
Y'all fuck a lot.
423
00:32:16,147 --> 00:32:18,566
You have babies
like Jiffy popcorn.
424
00:32:18,858 --> 00:32:21,026
[LAUGHTER]
425
00:32:21,318 --> 00:32:22,778
Whose glasses?
426
00:32:23,070 --> 00:32:23,571
Thanks a lot.
427
00:32:23,863 --> 00:32:24,864
I need a camera.
428
00:32:25,156 --> 00:32:25,656
I need a camera.
429
00:32:25,948 --> 00:32:26,866
Give me a camera.
430
00:32:27,158 --> 00:32:29,535
Give me a fucking
camera, white boy.
431
00:32:29,827 --> 00:32:31,454
Give me the camera quick,
quick, quick, quick.
432
00:32:31,745 --> 00:32:33,706
Throw it.
433
00:32:33,998 --> 00:32:35,124
Now, fuck with me.
434
00:32:35,416 --> 00:32:38,627
[LAUGHTER]
435
00:32:42,089 --> 00:32:43,632
You're Japanese or Korean?
436
00:32:43,924 --> 00:32:44,300
Korean.
437
00:32:44,592 --> 00:32:46,093
Oh, you all look alike.
438
00:32:46,385 --> 00:32:48,387
[LAUGHTER]
439
00:32:48,679 --> 00:32:49,013
Don't worry.
440
00:32:49,305 --> 00:32:51,640
I'll be talking about
niggers in a minute.
441
00:32:51,932 --> 00:32:54,518
In a minute, you'll be going,
oh, nigga funny now, huh?
442
00:32:54,810 --> 00:32:55,978
[LAUGHTER]
443
00:32:56,270 --> 00:32:57,438
Ho!
444
00:32:57,730 --> 00:33:00,858
[CHEERING]
445
00:33:01,442 --> 00:33:03,110
I like the Japanese tourists.
446
00:33:03,402 --> 00:33:06,405
The most fascinating
tourists are the Japanese.
447
00:33:06,697 --> 00:33:08,866
They always got a camera.
448
00:33:09,158 --> 00:33:13,245
I have never seen a
Jap without a camera.
449
00:33:13,537 --> 00:33:15,498
It's like niggers
without a radio.
450
00:33:15,789 --> 00:33:17,666
[LAUGHTER]
451
00:33:17,958 --> 00:33:19,793
And I like the way
Japanese people walk.
452
00:33:20,085 --> 00:33:25,799
They walk real fast and don't
be going no fucking place.
453
00:33:26,091 --> 00:33:28,677
That's why there's
so many. here.
454
00:33:28,969 --> 00:33:30,846
By the time they get out
of bed and go to work,
455
00:33:31,138 --> 00:33:33,307
it's time to go back to bed.
456
00:33:33,599 --> 00:33:35,351
And they love the
World Trade Center.
457
00:33:35,643 --> 00:33:36,769
They love New York.
458
00:33:37,061 --> 00:33:39,104
They want to take the
picture, but they can never
459
00:33:39,396 --> 00:33:40,814
find the motherfucker.
460
00:33:41,106 --> 00:33:43,234
I like-- oh, there goes
are Ja-- you Japanese, sir?
461
00:33:43,526 --> 00:33:43,901
Yeah.
462
00:33:44,193 --> 00:33:44,652
Yeah.
463
00:33:44,944 --> 00:33:45,903
You're Chinese?
464
00:33:46,195 --> 00:33:46,570
Damn.
465
00:33:46,862 --> 00:33:47,321
I'm negroid.
466
00:33:47,613 --> 00:33:49,448
[LAUGHTER]
467
00:33:49,740 --> 00:33:50,366
I'm not Black.
468
00:33:50,658 --> 00:33:53,077
This is a birthmark.
469
00:33:53,369 --> 00:33:54,870
But I love the
Japanese tourists.
470
00:33:55,162 --> 00:33:56,247
They always got a camera, right?
471
00:33:56,539 --> 00:33:57,581
They want to take the picture.
472
00:33:57,873 --> 00:34:00,584
You ever see them?
473
00:34:00,876 --> 00:34:04,004
[LAUGHTER]
474
00:34:04,296 --> 00:34:07,508
[APPLAUSE]
475
00:34:16,892 --> 00:34:17,893
And then they find it.
476
00:34:18,185 --> 00:34:19,061
[MUMBLING]
477
00:34:19,353 --> 00:34:22,273
[LAUGHTER]
478
00:34:22,565 --> 00:34:23,566
I love everybody.
479
00:34:23,857 --> 00:34:25,693
I may do a lot ethnic humor.
480
00:34:25,985 --> 00:34:27,403
I do a lot of ethnic humor.
481
00:34:27,695 --> 00:34:31,323
But don't get me wrong, because
I know from within my heart
482
00:34:31,615 --> 00:34:33,284
that it's not Black and white.
483
00:34:33,576 --> 00:34:35,077
And it's not red and yellow.
484
00:34:35,369 --> 00:34:36,870
There's only one race.
485
00:34:37,162 --> 00:34:38,289
And that's the human race.
486
00:34:38,581 --> 00:34:38,956
Yeah!
487
00:34:39,248 --> 00:34:42,209
[CHEERING]
488
00:34:45,087 --> 00:34:46,755
The rest of them are Mexicans.
489
00:34:47,047 --> 00:34:47,756
[LAUGHTER]
490
00:34:48,048 --> 00:34:51,260
[CHEERING]
491
00:34:59,685 --> 00:35:03,439
Thank you, thank you.
492
00:35:03,731 --> 00:35:05,399
Ha-ha-ha.
493
00:35:05,691 --> 00:35:06,859
Stop.
494
00:35:07,151 --> 00:35:08,360
Stop.
495
00:35:08,652 --> 00:35:10,654
Stop.
496
00:35:10,946 --> 00:35:11,572
Stop.
497
00:35:11,864 --> 00:35:13,616
Hello, New York.
498
00:35:13,907 --> 00:35:15,868
Hey, isn't our city amazing?
499
00:35:16,160 --> 00:35:18,454
You can't walk down this
park without watching
500
00:35:18,746 --> 00:35:21,081
a different ethnic group
trying to sell you marijuana.
501
00:35:21,373 --> 00:35:25,085
Black guys, now, they sell
you marijuana with rhythm.
502
00:35:29,590 --> 00:35:31,467
Got that herb, y'all.
503
00:35:31,759 --> 00:35:32,092
[LAUGHTER]
504
00:35:32,384 --> 00:35:33,802
Like once in a while,
you get a poem, yo,
505
00:35:34,094 --> 00:35:36,805
I got herb here that'll
make you swerve,
506
00:35:37,097 --> 00:35:38,098
smoke that'll make you choke.
507
00:35:38,390 --> 00:35:41,352
Well, my grass will bust
your motherfucking ass.
508
00:35:41,644 --> 00:35:44,021
Hey, I've even seen
Jewish marijuana dealers.
509
00:35:44,313 --> 00:35:45,898
So what do you mean
it's not an ounce?
510
00:35:46,190 --> 00:35:46,774
That's an ounce.
511
00:35:47,066 --> 00:35:50,110
[LAUGHTER]
512
00:35:50,402 --> 00:35:53,489
[CHEERING]
513
00:35:54,073 --> 00:35:56,325
Oh, all of a sudden,
I'm a croaker
514
00:35:56,617 --> 00:36:01,872
at the A, Mr. Fancy
Schmancy, Mr. Smarty Pants.
515
00:36:02,164 --> 00:36:05,376
Rastafarians, every man spliff
joint the size of Madrid
516
00:36:05,668 --> 00:36:06,043
laughs.
517
00:36:06,335 --> 00:36:07,336
[LAUGHTER]
518
00:36:07,628 --> 00:36:09,546
Check it out, man.
519
00:36:09,838 --> 00:36:12,341
Puerto Ricans, boy, they
sell marijuana cautiously,
520
00:36:12,633 --> 00:36:13,550
hide behind the bushes.
521
00:36:16,011 --> 00:36:17,221
No, don't give me
the money, man.
522
00:36:17,513 --> 00:36:18,222
Don't give me the money.
523
00:36:18,514 --> 00:36:19,098
[LAUGHTER]
524
00:36:19,390 --> 00:36:20,683
No, don't give it to
me, give it to him.
525
00:36:20,974 --> 00:36:21,350
Oh, shit.
526
00:36:21,642 --> 00:36:22,935
Geraldo Rivera, he got a camera.
527
00:36:23,227 --> 00:36:26,063
[LAUGHTER]
528
00:36:26,355 --> 00:36:28,899
Can't talk about New York unless
you talk about the gay folks.
529
00:36:29,191 --> 00:36:30,192
Oh, we got them here.
530
00:36:30,484 --> 00:36:32,277
I know there's one or two
here them straight gays,
531
00:36:32,569 --> 00:36:33,654
guys with suits and ties.
532
00:36:33,946 --> 00:36:34,405
Hi, I'm Bill.
533
00:36:34,697 --> 00:36:35,489
I'm a homosexual.
534
00:36:35,781 --> 00:36:36,990
[LAUGHTER]
535
00:36:37,282 --> 00:36:37,741
I own a company.
536
00:36:38,033 --> 00:36:40,077
I'm writing a book
on how to get ahead.
537
00:36:40,369 --> 00:36:40,994
[LAUGHTER]
538
00:36:41,286 --> 00:36:43,872
[APPLAUSE]
539
00:36:44,164 --> 00:36:46,458
Young Black gay guys, boy,
they be advertising it.
540
00:36:46,750 --> 00:36:49,086
That's right, honey.
541
00:36:49,378 --> 00:36:52,214
That's right, Miss
Thing, and I love it.
542
00:36:52,506 --> 00:36:55,592
All night long, girlfriend.
543
00:36:55,884 --> 00:36:57,261
Puerto Rican gays, oi!
544
00:36:57,553 --> 00:36:58,303
He's so cute!
545
00:36:58,595 --> 00:37:00,723
[LAUGHTER]
546
00:37:01,014 --> 00:37:02,683
[APPLAUSE]
547
00:37:02,975 --> 00:37:05,436
I want to know his name.
548
00:37:05,728 --> 00:37:06,603
Do you know how to hustle?
549
00:37:06,895 --> 00:37:08,605
[WORDLESS SINGING] Bah.
550
00:37:08,897 --> 00:37:11,567
White gay guys, I am so pissed.
551
00:37:11,859 --> 00:37:14,403
[LAUGHTER]
552
00:37:14,695 --> 00:37:19,199
Fill Up is so
insensitive, he really is.
553
00:37:19,491 --> 00:37:21,827
Seems like everybody in
New York got an attitude,
554
00:37:22,119 --> 00:37:23,620
even the winos are hostile.
555
00:37:23,912 --> 00:37:25,164
Come here, you son of a bitch.
556
00:37:25,456 --> 00:37:26,874
[LAUGHTER]
557
00:37:27,166 --> 00:37:29,501
Yeah, you, give me a quarter.
558
00:37:29,793 --> 00:37:30,711
I cleaned your windshield.
559
00:37:31,003 --> 00:37:31,754
Want me to do it again?
560
00:37:32,045 --> 00:37:34,590
[RASPBERRY] It's
different out in LA.
561
00:37:34,882 --> 00:37:35,966
Boy, I was out
there for a while.
562
00:37:36,258 --> 00:37:37,885
LA winos are like, yo, dude.
563
00:37:38,177 --> 00:37:40,220
You have a hundred dollars
for a bottle of Dom Perignon?
564
00:37:40,512 --> 00:37:43,515
[LAUGHTER]
565
00:37:44,516 --> 00:37:45,768
Even the pigeons are weird.
566
00:37:46,059 --> 00:37:47,478
They sit in full
lotus positions.
567
00:37:47,770 --> 00:37:49,438
They meditate.
568
00:37:49,730 --> 00:37:51,523
I totally don't know
if I'm going to fly.
569
00:37:51,815 --> 00:37:52,816
[LAUGHTER]
570
00:37:53,108 --> 00:37:57,196
I know it's a bitchin' day,
but gag me with a breadstick.
571
00:37:57,488 --> 00:37:59,031
Boston pigeons,
they're educated.
572
00:37:59,323 --> 00:37:59,990
Smelly?
573
00:38:00,282 --> 00:38:02,409
[LAUGHTER]
574
00:38:02,701 --> 00:38:05,162
Still working on that thesis?
575
00:38:05,454 --> 00:38:06,872
Merci, thought I'd
take the day-off,
576
00:38:07,164 --> 00:38:10,584
go for a flight in the calm, and
then crap on a statue or two.
577
00:38:10,876 --> 00:38:12,669
Pigeons in New York,
boy, these motherfuckers
578
00:38:12,961 --> 00:38:14,755
look like they're on heroin.
579
00:38:15,047 --> 00:38:15,839
Their feathers are frayed.
580
00:38:16,131 --> 00:38:16,799
Their wings are broken.
581
00:38:17,090 --> 00:38:18,634
They're in the park.
582
00:38:18,926 --> 00:38:22,095
[LAUGHTER]
583
00:38:22,679 --> 00:38:26,183
Hey, Bobby, seen the bread man?
584
00:38:26,475 --> 00:38:29,269
[LAUGHTER]
585
00:38:29,561 --> 00:38:32,231
Hey, the old guy with
the bread, you seen him?
586
00:38:32,523 --> 00:38:34,650
Hope he didn't die on us.
587
00:38:34,942 --> 00:38:36,235
Where are you going
to be, in a tree?
588
00:38:36,527 --> 00:38:38,779
You can fly?
589
00:38:39,071 --> 00:38:41,406
What do you want, croutons?
590
00:38:41,698 --> 00:38:42,616
Yeah, I'll talk to you later.
591
00:38:42,908 --> 00:38:43,617
I'll be under the bench.
592
00:38:43,909 --> 00:38:45,619
Prr.
593
00:38:45,911 --> 00:38:46,370
I hate pigeons.
594
00:38:46,662 --> 00:38:50,999
Well, I'd like to catch a
pigeon and shit on it just once.
595
00:38:51,291 --> 00:38:52,501
Fly now, motherfucker man.
596
00:38:52,793 --> 00:38:54,795
[LAUGHTER]
597
00:38:55,087 --> 00:38:56,713
New York, boy, I know
there's-- how many-- oh,
598
00:38:57,005 --> 00:38:58,757
we ain't got no
real whiteys here.
599
00:38:59,049 --> 00:38:59,716
You know who you are.
600
00:39:00,008 --> 00:39:01,969
Real whiteys, you can't hang out
with Blacks and Puerto Ricans.
601
00:39:02,261 --> 00:39:02,594
You get nervous.
602
00:39:02,886 --> 00:39:03,929
Margaret, let's get
the fuck out of here.
603
00:39:04,221 --> 00:39:04,596
Come on.
604
00:39:04,888 --> 00:39:06,265
[LAUGHTER]
605
00:39:06,557 --> 00:39:07,724
Come on, the niggers on drugs.
606
00:39:08,016 --> 00:39:08,392
Let's go.
607
00:39:08,684 --> 00:39:09,184
[LAUGHTER]
608
00:39:09,476 --> 00:39:10,435
[CHEERING]
609
00:39:10,727 --> 00:39:13,021
Thank you very much.
610
00:39:13,313 --> 00:39:14,481
What a great crowd.
611
00:39:14,773 --> 00:39:17,985
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
612
00:39:36,420 --> 00:39:40,090
Once upon a time,
in a ghetto far,
613
00:39:40,382 --> 00:39:45,721
far away, there lived a
tribe of suburban refugees,
614
00:39:46,013 --> 00:39:49,975
drawn to the big city in search
of fame, fortune, and fun.
615
00:39:50,267 --> 00:39:52,936
Self-exiled from the
American 9:00 to 5:00,
616
00:39:53,228 --> 00:39:55,272
two-car family
living comforts, they
617
00:39:55,564 --> 00:39:57,649
migrated to the
nocturnal bohemian
618
00:39:57,941 --> 00:40:01,320
world of downtown Manhattan's
misfitted Lower East Side.
619
00:40:01,612 --> 00:40:03,739
At a time when the Bee Gees
were at the top of the charts,
620
00:40:04,031 --> 00:40:06,116
these young pioneers
boldly went where
621
00:40:06,408 --> 00:40:08,076
no white man had gone before--
622
00:40:08,368 --> 00:40:13,415
Avenue B, Avenue C, Avenue D,
Spanish Harlem, and beyond.
623
00:40:13,707 --> 00:40:17,753
This was the final
frontier, my little friends.
624
00:40:18,045 --> 00:40:21,214
And so these not so
young anymore hopefuls
625
00:40:21,506 --> 00:40:23,425
continued their
struggle until success
626
00:40:23,717 --> 00:40:24,843
would come to collect them.
627
00:40:25,135 --> 00:40:26,970
How were they to
envision the future
628
00:40:27,262 --> 00:40:29,181
that the unwritten
prophecy that foretold
629
00:40:29,473 --> 00:40:33,435
of annual incomes of $100,000
or more, of tax audits
630
00:40:33,727 --> 00:40:35,729
and financial planners that
would beget mutual fund
631
00:40:36,021 --> 00:40:36,480
portfolios.
632
00:40:36,772 --> 00:40:40,150
Tax deductible IRAs, Jenny
Mays, Ellie Mays, Daisy Mays,
633
00:40:40,442 --> 00:40:42,194
CD interest rates
of less than 5%,
634
00:40:42,486 --> 00:40:44,237
personal managers,
safe investments,
635
00:40:44,529 --> 00:40:46,823
insurance premiums,
residual checks,
636
00:40:47,115 --> 00:40:49,409
Oscars, Emmys, Grammys,
Tonys, Buffy's,
637
00:40:49,701 --> 00:40:51,703
Jodi's, rampant
jealousies, nurtured
638
00:40:51,995 --> 00:40:56,083
dissent, litigious natures, cat
scratch fever, and court orders
639
00:40:56,375 --> 00:40:57,125
to cease and desist!
640
00:41:01,380 --> 00:41:04,549
[SCOFFS] Oh, yes.
641
00:41:04,841 --> 00:41:06,969
Yes, my old friend, come.
642
00:41:07,260 --> 00:41:08,929
Come to me.
643
00:41:09,221 --> 00:41:11,139
The channels kept changing.
644
00:41:11,431 --> 00:41:13,892
And-- and the
reruns kept running.
645
00:41:14,184 --> 00:41:15,811
And the leftovers were
reheated and eaten.
646
00:41:16,103 --> 00:41:20,524
But-- but what was once for
the few was now for the many.
647
00:41:20,816 --> 00:41:27,656
And-- and they finally realized
that their 15 minutes we're up.
648
00:41:32,744 --> 00:41:36,164
[WHIMSICAL MUSIC]
649
00:41:53,765 --> 00:41:57,185
[WORDLESS SINGING]
650
00:42:18,790 --> 00:42:22,210
[THUMPING]
651
00:42:39,811 --> 00:42:41,146
[BIRD CHIRPING]
652
00:42:41,438 --> 00:42:44,733
[SCREAMING]
653
00:42:50,322 --> 00:42:53,742
[TRAIN CHUGGING]
654
00:43:01,833 --> 00:43:05,670
[JOHNNY PACHECO, "FIGHT MY
COCK"]
655
00:43:05,962 --> 00:43:07,756
[TRAIN ANNOUNCEMENT]
656
00:43:27,359 --> 00:43:30,779
[CHATTER]
657
00:43:50,382 --> 00:43:53,802
[NON-ENGLISH SINGING]
658
00:44:05,897 --> 00:44:09,317
[CHATTER]
659
00:44:27,419 --> 00:44:30,839
[NON-ENGLISH SINGING]
660
00:44:42,642 --> 00:44:46,021
[CHATTER]
661
00:44:51,026 --> 00:44:54,404
[NON-ENGLISH SINGING]
662
00:44:58,575 --> 00:45:01,953
[CHATTER]
663
00:45:06,958 --> 00:45:10,337
[NON-ENGLISH SINGING]
664
00:45:14,132 --> 00:45:17,552
[CHATTER]
665
00:45:22,098 --> 00:45:25,518
[NON-ENGLISH SINGING]
666
00:45:30,065 --> 00:45:33,443
[CHATTER]
667
00:45:38,031 --> 00:45:41,326
[NON-ENGLISH SINGING]
668
00:45:41,618 --> 00:45:44,871
[CHATTER]
669
00:46:16,278 --> 00:46:19,698
[MELLOW MUSIC]
670
00:46:21,783 --> 00:46:23,076
[CAR HONKING]
671
00:46:23,368 --> 00:46:26,663
[CHATTER]
672
00:46:36,756 --> 00:46:38,967
[NON-ENGLISH CONVERSATION]
673
00:48:20,860 --> 00:48:23,196
[CROWD EXCLAIMS]
674
00:48:23,488 --> 00:48:26,699
[NON-ENGLISH CONVERSATION]
675
00:49:05,321 --> 00:49:08,158
[THUNDER CRACKS]
676
00:49:08,450 --> 00:49:11,703
[SEXY MUSIC]
677
00:49:34,142 --> 00:49:37,520
[EERIE MUSIC]
678
00:49:57,999 --> 00:50:00,793
This is a poem celebrating
the realization
679
00:50:01,085 --> 00:50:03,421
that poems aren't going
to change anything.
680
00:50:03,713 --> 00:50:05,131
I'm still writing anyways.
681
00:50:05,423 --> 00:50:08,635
But they ain't going to
change this mean, crazy,
682
00:50:08,927 --> 00:50:11,888
fucked up and down world
of shit and more shit.
683
00:50:12,180 --> 00:50:14,766
Now, on the brighter
side of the landscape,
684
00:50:15,058 --> 00:50:17,519
we have, of course, the
prospect that this poem
685
00:50:17,810 --> 00:50:21,314
will become an active member of
the curriculum of eighth grade
686
00:50:21,606 --> 00:50:22,565
English classes.
687
00:50:22,857 --> 00:50:24,526
And when the teacher
says my name,
688
00:50:24,817 --> 00:50:29,489
everyone will smile real pretty
and say that I was a good guy.
689
00:50:29,781 --> 00:50:33,368
Man, I could change this world
if these assholes gave me
690
00:50:33,660 --> 00:50:34,118
a chance.
691
00:50:34,410 --> 00:50:35,787
Everything starts
out small, see?
692
00:50:36,079 --> 00:50:37,539
But I ain't going to stay small.
693
00:50:37,830 --> 00:50:39,666
Like if you're reading this
here piece of shit now,
694
00:50:39,958 --> 00:50:40,625
I'm making progress.
695
00:50:40,917 --> 00:50:41,417
Ain't I?
696
00:50:41,709 --> 00:50:44,587
And even if you decide to wipe
your ass with this work of art,
697
00:50:44,879 --> 00:50:46,965
man, I'm glad to be of service.
698
00:50:47,257 --> 00:50:48,216
That's why I'm here.
699
00:50:48,508 --> 00:50:51,386
Look, the poet
uses words like you
700
00:50:51,678 --> 00:50:54,681
use spit or Vaseline or Crisco.
701
00:50:54,973 --> 00:50:57,016
So I rub these words on a page.
702
00:50:57,308 --> 00:50:58,601
And you slowly take them in.
703
00:50:58,893 --> 00:51:01,980
It's quite literally
getting fucked by letters.
704
00:51:02,272 --> 00:51:05,400
The vowels and the
smaller shafted consonants
705
00:51:05,692 --> 00:51:08,403
are fairly easy to take even
for the more tight-assed
706
00:51:08,695 --> 00:51:12,907
amongst you, while other bigger,
wider consonants require,
707
00:51:13,199 --> 00:51:16,244
in some cases, the use
of drugs and poppers.
708
00:51:16,536 --> 00:51:18,580
Feeling it inside yet, huh?
709
00:51:18,871 --> 00:51:23,459
This hot, wet, sloppy,
slimy, scummy, suckable poem
710
00:51:23,751 --> 00:51:26,212
slipped into a prophylactic
with a French tickler made
711
00:51:26,504 --> 00:51:28,965
of razor blades, being
jammed up your asshole,
712
00:51:29,257 --> 00:51:30,300
and you stop fighting.
713
00:51:30,592 --> 00:51:33,845
And we're almost enjoying it
until this mad man decided
714
00:51:34,137 --> 00:51:35,054
to piss up your ass.
715
00:51:35,346 --> 00:51:36,514
And you began to taste it.
716
00:51:36,806 --> 00:51:37,640
And it came out your mouth.
717
00:51:37,932 --> 00:51:39,976
And then he started
kissing you, setting up
718
00:51:40,268 --> 00:51:44,272
a cycle to keep it flowing
forever and ever and ever
719
00:51:44,564 --> 00:51:45,940
and ever.
720
00:51:46,232 --> 00:51:48,484
The poet fucking the reader.
721
00:51:48,776 --> 00:51:51,279
The poet pissing in
the reader's mouth,
722
00:51:51,571 --> 00:51:53,448
kissing and drinking
his own words.
723
00:51:53,740 --> 00:51:55,283
He gets more turned on.
724
00:51:55,575 --> 00:51:58,453
You get hotter, and
the scene gets wilder.
725
00:51:58,745 --> 00:52:00,830
The dog's still horny for more.
726
00:52:01,122 --> 00:52:04,208
The poet is rapist, looking
to get into something,
727
00:52:04,500 --> 00:52:05,501
will hurt you if necessary.
728
00:52:05,793 --> 00:52:08,046
So just cooperate and
you'll be better off.
729
00:52:08,338 --> 00:52:10,506
I want you to look
at this fucking poem.
730
00:52:10,798 --> 00:52:11,215
Lick it.
731
00:52:11,507 --> 00:52:13,468
Look at it again real long, huh?
732
00:52:13,760 --> 00:52:17,472
Now, go ahead and relax and see
how easy it is the second time.
733
00:52:17,764 --> 00:52:18,306
Go ahead.
734
00:52:18,598 --> 00:52:21,100
Good, good, I told you.
735
00:52:21,392 --> 00:52:23,936
I'm glad to be of service.
736
00:52:24,228 --> 00:52:26,356
[CHATTER]
737
00:52:26,648 --> 00:52:29,901
[SIRENS WAILING]
738
00:52:35,907 --> 00:52:39,285
[NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]
739
00:52:42,538 --> 00:52:45,208
[NON-ENGLISH SINGING]
740
00:52:59,681 --> 00:53:01,516
[NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]
741
00:53:01,808 --> 00:53:05,061
[BELLS RINGING]
742
00:53:06,145 --> 00:53:08,314
[NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]
743
00:53:10,858 --> 00:53:14,195
[NON-ENGLISH SINGING]
744
00:53:50,857 --> 00:53:54,235
[BELLS RINGING]
745
00:53:56,279 --> 00:53:59,532
[NON-ENGLISH SINGING]
746
00:54:36,235 --> 00:54:39,655
[BELLS RINGING]
747
00:55:04,680 --> 00:55:08,100
[FLUTTERING]
748
00:55:08,684 --> 00:55:12,104
[NON-ENGLISH SINGING]
749
00:56:47,617 --> 00:56:50,995
[MUSIC PLAYING]
750
00:57:00,588 --> 00:57:04,008
[CHEERING]
751
00:57:19,065 --> 00:57:21,400
[TINKLING MUSIC]
752
00:57:21,692 --> 00:57:24,987
[JOEY ARIAS, "HARD DAY'S NIGHT]
753
00:57:34,205 --> 00:57:43,255
It's been a hard day's night,
I've been working like a dog.
754
00:57:43,547 --> 00:57:47,677
It's been a hard day's night.
755
00:57:47,969 --> 00:57:52,348
I should be sleeping like a log.
756
00:57:52,640 --> 00:57:56,102
When I get home to
you, I find the things
757
00:57:56,394 --> 00:58:00,147
that you do will make
you feel all right.
758
00:58:03,901 --> 00:58:12,743
You know I work all day to get
you money to buy you things.
759
00:58:13,035 --> 00:58:21,252
And it was yesterday he said,
I'll give you everything.
760
00:58:21,544 --> 00:58:25,923
Because when I get you
alone, when I get you home,
761
00:58:26,215 --> 00:58:30,094
you know I feel OK.
762
00:58:30,386 --> 00:58:35,850
When I'm cold, baby,
you're holding me tight.
763
00:58:39,228 --> 00:58:48,237
When I'm home, baby, you're
holding me tight, tight.
764
00:58:48,529 --> 00:58:56,704
Been a hard day's night,
I've been working like a dog.
765
00:58:56,996 --> 00:59:05,796
It's been a hard day's night, I
should be sleeping like a log.
766
00:59:06,088 --> 00:59:09,341
But when I get home to
you, I find the things
767
00:59:09,633 --> 00:59:13,637
that you do will make
me feel all right.
768
00:59:13,929 --> 00:59:14,388
Take me, baby.
769
00:59:22,438 --> 00:59:25,816
[CHEERING]
770
00:59:31,864 --> 00:59:36,410
Because when I get you at
home, when I get you alone,
771
00:59:36,702 --> 00:59:40,581
you know I feel OK.
772
00:59:40,873 --> 00:59:47,254
When I'm home, baby,
you're holding me tight.
773
00:59:47,546 --> 00:59:49,381
Yeah, baby.
774
00:59:49,673 --> 00:59:58,599
When I'm home, baby, you're
holding me tight, tight.
775
00:59:58,891 --> 01:00:02,103
Been a hard day's night.
776
01:00:02,394 --> 01:00:03,521
[CHEERING]
777
01:00:03,813 --> 01:00:07,108
I've been working like a dog.
778
01:00:07,399 --> 01:00:11,695
It's been a hard
day's night, you
779
01:00:11,987 --> 01:00:15,574
know I should be
sleeping like a log.
780
01:00:15,866 --> 01:00:18,160
Because when I
get home to you, I
781
01:00:18,452 --> 01:00:22,206
find the things that you
do will make me feel all--
782
01:00:22,498 --> 01:00:24,166
All right.
783
01:00:24,458 --> 01:00:26,585
You know I feel all--
784
01:00:26,877 --> 01:00:29,046
All right.
785
01:00:29,338 --> 01:00:33,759
You know I feel all right, yeah.
786
01:00:34,051 --> 01:00:35,594
(SPEAKING) Listen to me, baby.
787
01:00:35,886 --> 01:00:36,303
Shut up.
788
01:00:36,595 --> 01:00:39,098
Come on, just shut
the fuck up right now.
789
01:00:39,390 --> 01:00:44,311
(SINGING) You make
me feel all right.
790
01:00:50,818 --> 01:00:54,196
[CHEERING]
791
01:01:14,633 --> 01:01:16,677
I hate yellow!
792
01:01:16,969 --> 01:01:19,722
I hate all your pastel shirts!
793
01:01:20,014 --> 01:01:22,600
I hate your pastel clothes!
794
01:01:22,892 --> 01:01:24,643
And you come into
my neighborhood
795
01:01:24,935 --> 01:01:27,104
with those fancy
teeth of yours, oh,
796
01:01:27,396 --> 01:01:29,023
just grinning in
my neighborhood,
797
01:01:29,315 --> 01:01:32,276
just looking at my buildings,
looking how you can buy them
798
01:01:32,568 --> 01:01:35,696
and making it into
some buxom commodity.
799
01:01:35,988 --> 01:01:36,780
Oh, I know!
800
01:01:37,072 --> 01:01:39,783
Don't you know that
the only time I'm happy
801
01:01:40,075 --> 01:01:41,702
is when I'm depressed?
802
01:01:41,994 --> 01:01:46,207
Oh, don't you know I'm only
happy wearing dark clothes?
803
01:01:46,498 --> 01:01:48,792
I'm a creature of the night.
804
01:01:49,084 --> 01:01:51,253
I tell you, Mr.
Entrepreneur, you
805
01:01:51,545 --> 01:01:53,589
are the reason why
David's cookies
806
01:01:53,881 --> 01:01:55,549
is a symbol of our culture!
807
01:01:55,841 --> 01:02:00,763
Oh, you are the reason why
fast food is the only growth
808
01:02:01,055 --> 01:02:02,973
industry of my nation!
809
01:02:03,265 --> 01:02:06,936
Oh, I'm going to give it to
you in all your pastel ways!
810
01:02:07,228 --> 01:02:09,897
Oh, I tell you, I hate yellow.
811
01:02:10,189 --> 01:02:13,400
[SEXY MUSIC]
812
01:02:15,903 --> 01:02:19,240
[CHEERING]
813
01:02:48,143 --> 01:02:51,563
[THUMPING]
814
01:02:55,150 --> 01:02:58,529
[RUSTLING]
815
01:03:08,330 --> 01:03:08,664
Wow.
816
01:03:08,956 --> 01:03:12,126
[CHEERING]
817
01:03:19,049 --> 01:03:20,259
Do you like my curls?
818
01:03:20,551 --> 01:03:21,844
I like them.
819
01:03:22,136 --> 01:03:22,469
Yeah!
820
01:03:25,347 --> 01:03:29,476
I like this one with the little
bunny, the little baby bunny.
821
01:03:29,768 --> 01:03:33,063
[SEXY MUSIC]
822
01:04:05,471 --> 01:04:08,891
[CHEERING]
823
01:04:16,440 --> 01:04:18,776
This is-- this is art, buddy.
824
01:04:19,068 --> 01:04:22,321
[SEXY MUSIC]
825
01:04:53,143 --> 01:04:57,606
So I don't have any more
times for fun or games.
826
01:04:57,898 --> 01:05:01,735
Oh, I have no more
money for sex or drugs.
827
01:05:02,027 --> 01:05:04,696
Also, I took too many
sleeping pills, baby,
828
01:05:04,988 --> 01:05:06,740
and nothing happened.
829
01:05:07,032 --> 01:05:10,994
Oh, so I put my head in the
oven and nothing happened.
830
01:05:11,286 --> 01:05:13,539
Oh, so I put a gun
to my head, baby.
831
01:05:13,831 --> 01:05:15,374
Nothing happened.
832
01:05:15,666 --> 01:05:20,295
Oh, so I fucked you all night
long and nothing happened.
833
01:05:20,587 --> 01:05:23,882
Oh, so I went to college
and nothing happened.
834
01:05:24,174 --> 01:05:27,761
I also went on a diet
and nothing happened.
835
01:05:28,053 --> 01:05:32,516
Oh, so I became macrobiotic
and nothing happened.
836
01:05:32,808 --> 01:05:35,477
Oh, so I went to college
and nothing happened.
837
01:05:35,769 --> 01:05:38,063
And I never paid back
that student loan
838
01:05:38,355 --> 01:05:39,273
because nothing happened.
839
01:05:39,565 --> 01:05:40,190
[CHEERING]
840
01:05:40,482 --> 01:05:43,402
Oh, so I went out, I
went out, I went out
841
01:05:43,694 --> 01:05:46,113
to the tunnel, baby,
and nothing happened.
842
01:05:46,405 --> 01:05:47,239
I went to Nell's.
843
01:05:47,531 --> 01:05:50,325
I went to the Palladium
and nothing happened.
844
01:05:50,617 --> 01:05:54,413
I went out to Soho
and nothing happened.
845
01:05:54,705 --> 01:05:58,208
Oh, I put out some roach
motels and nothing happened.
846
01:05:58,500 --> 01:06:00,335
I voted for Jesse Jackson.
847
01:06:00,627 --> 01:06:02,045
Oh, I'm going to terrorize.
848
01:06:02,337 --> 01:06:03,797
I'm going to petition
because something,
849
01:06:04,089 --> 01:06:05,632
because there's something,
because there's--
850
01:06:05,924 --> 01:06:08,469
[LAUGHS] because something's
going to happen, Mr. Yuppie.
851
01:06:08,760 --> 01:06:11,305
I'm not going to let you
gang rape me anymore,
852
01:06:11,597 --> 01:06:12,639
Mr. Entrepreneur.
853
01:06:12,931 --> 01:06:15,893
Oooh, no, oh, no.
854
01:06:16,185 --> 01:06:17,936
You just looking
at me and thinking
855
01:06:18,228 --> 01:06:19,980
how you can make another deal.
856
01:06:20,272 --> 01:06:22,191
You just looking at me
and thinking how you
857
01:06:22,483 --> 01:06:24,318
can make another piece of cash.
858
01:06:24,610 --> 01:06:27,196
Oh, so I just take you
and put you on the street.
859
01:06:27,488 --> 01:06:31,116
And I just tie you up, tie you
up, make your feel blessed.
860
01:06:31,408 --> 01:06:34,411
You're Oscar de la
Renta, Jeffrey Bean,
861
01:06:34,703 --> 01:06:38,665
you're Macy's, you're
Bloomingdale's, you're CDs,
862
01:06:38,957 --> 01:06:39,374
you're Quiz.
863
01:06:39,666 --> 01:06:41,585
And as I ruin you in it--
864
01:06:41,877 --> 01:06:43,462
I'll ruin you in it, boy.
865
01:06:43,754 --> 01:06:44,421
And you know what?
866
01:06:44,713 --> 01:06:45,881
You are loving it.
867
01:06:46,173 --> 01:06:47,216
You're just loving it.
868
01:06:47,508 --> 01:06:48,467
You're just loving it.
869
01:06:48,759 --> 01:06:51,053
And then I just tie you up more.
870
01:06:51,345 --> 01:06:53,764
And I roll you down
Avenue B. And I
871
01:06:54,056 --> 01:06:55,390
take that tongue of yours.
872
01:06:55,682 --> 01:06:57,184
[CHEERING]
873
01:06:57,476 --> 01:07:00,187
I take that tongue of
yours, and I drag it down B.
874
01:07:00,479 --> 01:07:02,814
And I let it pick up
the piss and shit at me.
875
01:07:03,106 --> 01:07:05,317
Oh, I let it piss
up all your piss.
876
01:07:05,609 --> 01:07:06,151
And piss it, baby.
877
01:07:06,443 --> 01:07:07,110
Piss it, baby.
878
01:07:07,402 --> 01:07:08,987
Oh, I'm letting you
piss in your pants.
879
01:07:09,279 --> 01:07:11,865
And I'll piss on you, you
warm little motherfucker.
880
01:07:12,157 --> 01:07:13,283
And you just look up to me.
881
01:07:13,575 --> 01:07:14,409
You just look up to me.
882
01:07:14,701 --> 01:07:17,538
And you just say, where's
the graffiti on this?
883
01:07:17,829 --> 01:07:19,957
And I say, boy,
it's up your ass.
884
01:07:20,249 --> 01:07:22,793
And you just say, that's
why I work 9:00 to 5:00,
885
01:07:23,085 --> 01:07:26,463
just so I can have a little bit
of this creative experience.
886
01:07:26,755 --> 01:07:28,590
Oh, I've got the revenge going.
887
01:07:28,882 --> 01:07:30,759
And then I just leave
you on the corner.
888
01:07:31,051 --> 01:07:34,596
And I steal your BMW because I
know nothing's going to happen.
889
01:07:34,888 --> 01:07:37,391
Oh, no, nothing's going
to happen with you, boy.
890
01:07:37,683 --> 01:07:39,309
Oh, and then I
just take your ass.
891
01:07:39,601 --> 01:07:42,437
And I stuff it with all
your passed out shirts.
892
01:07:42,729 --> 01:07:47,359
I stuff it with your sushi, your
novel cuisine, your walk band.
893
01:07:47,651 --> 01:07:49,945
Oh, and I go down
to Wall Street.
894
01:07:50,237 --> 01:07:52,072
Oh, I go into the
Stock Exchange.
895
01:07:52,364 --> 01:07:53,865
And I cut off your balls.
896
01:07:54,157 --> 01:07:55,701
You don't miss your balls.
897
01:07:55,993 --> 01:07:59,997
Oh, you got too busy fucking me
with everything else you got.
898
01:08:00,289 --> 01:08:04,084
Oh, you're too busy fucking me
with everything else you got.
899
01:08:04,376 --> 01:08:05,168
Oh, you don't bleed.
900
01:08:05,460 --> 01:08:07,588
Only dollar signs
come out of you.
901
01:08:07,879 --> 01:08:10,757
Ooh, oh, you're so greedy.
902
01:08:11,049 --> 01:08:13,802
You're so greedy, you don't
even give a nickel for that.
903
01:08:14,094 --> 01:08:15,470
Trump adores him.
904
01:08:15,762 --> 01:08:16,972
Oh, you don't know passion.
905
01:08:17,264 --> 01:08:18,015
You don't know need.
906
01:08:18,348 --> 01:08:19,975
You don't know peace.
907
01:08:20,267 --> 01:08:21,977
Oh, what the fuck is going on?
908
01:08:22,269 --> 01:08:22,811
What the fuck?
909
01:08:23,103 --> 01:08:25,480
What the fuck is the
fuck is going on?
910
01:08:25,772 --> 01:08:27,774
And then I take your balls.
911
01:08:28,108 --> 01:08:30,652
And I'll put them into a basket.
912
01:08:30,944 --> 01:08:34,281
Oh, they are small, little,
little, little balls.
913
01:08:34,573 --> 01:08:35,365
Oh, they are a little,
little little, scrotum.
914
01:08:35,949 --> 01:08:37,367
Oh, little testicles.
915
01:08:37,659 --> 01:08:39,911
And I boil them in my basket.
916
01:08:40,203 --> 01:08:43,415
I boil them on my stove
till they plump, plump up.
917
01:08:43,707 --> 01:08:48,170
Oh, I love to put those balls
in my mouth like some squirrel.
918
01:08:48,462 --> 01:08:52,799
[SLURPING] Oh, it
gets me so excited!
919
01:08:53,091 --> 01:08:55,427
And I take those balls.
920
01:08:55,719 --> 01:08:57,721
Oh, and I roll them
in my dung because I'm
921
01:08:58,013 --> 01:09:00,349
the misses of the dung dynasty.
922
01:09:00,641 --> 01:09:03,352
Oh, and then I take those balls
after they've been in dung.
923
01:09:03,644 --> 01:09:05,520
And I roll them
in some Hershey's.
924
01:09:05,812 --> 01:09:09,650
Oh, and then I roll him in
some fancy tinfoil paper.
925
01:09:09,941 --> 01:09:12,444
Oh, and then I go selling
for gourmet chocolate
926
01:09:12,736 --> 01:09:16,281
shops at Godiva and
stuff for $50 a pound.
927
01:09:16,573 --> 01:09:18,575
Oh, I love to do that.
928
01:09:18,867 --> 01:09:21,411
And I love to see your sons,
who are nine years old,
929
01:09:21,703 --> 01:09:25,290
who only talk through their
computers, who only know
930
01:09:25,582 --> 01:09:27,334
the things that are visible.
931
01:09:27,626 --> 01:09:30,253
Baby, I want to give you
something that's invisible,
932
01:09:30,545 --> 01:09:31,546
you motherfucker!
933
01:09:31,838 --> 01:09:34,966
I'm going to give you
some of that invisibility.
934
01:09:35,258 --> 01:09:37,844
Oh, and I see your
daddy's crunching on,
935
01:09:38,136 --> 01:09:39,846
eating their
chocolate testicles.
936
01:09:40,138 --> 01:09:42,182
Oh, I love that revenge.
937
01:09:42,474 --> 01:09:46,478
Oh, I love, I love, I
love, I love that revenge.
938
01:09:46,770 --> 01:09:49,981
Oh, Jesus, why don't you
appear to me now, Lord?
939
01:09:50,273 --> 01:09:52,776
Oh, why don't you
appear to me, Lord?
940
01:09:53,068 --> 01:09:55,904
Oh, whatever happened
to the Easter Bunny?
941
01:09:56,196 --> 01:09:58,699
Oh, whatever happened
to the tooth fairy?
942
01:09:58,990 --> 01:10:01,743
Oh, whatever happened to anyone?
943
01:10:02,035 --> 01:10:02,452
Dead girl?
944
01:10:02,744 --> 01:10:03,537
Ha-ha-ha.
945
01:10:03,829 --> 01:10:04,204
Dead girl.
946
01:10:04,496 --> 01:10:05,038
Ha-ha-ha.
947
01:10:05,330 --> 01:10:05,664
Dead girl.
948
01:10:05,956 --> 01:10:06,498
Ha-ha-ha.
949
01:10:06,790 --> 01:10:07,207
Dead girl.
950
01:10:07,499 --> 01:10:07,874
Ha-ha-ha.
951
01:10:08,166 --> 01:10:10,711
Ooh, I live in a dead-end world.
952
01:10:11,002 --> 01:10:12,879
I live a dead-end culture.
953
01:10:13,171 --> 01:10:14,756
Oh, I've got dead-end times.
954
01:10:15,048 --> 01:10:16,800
I've got a dead-end job.
955
01:10:17,092 --> 01:10:20,011
Oh, I've got a dead-end
future for my kids.
956
01:10:20,303 --> 01:10:22,723
I know, I know, I
know, I know it's
957
01:10:23,014 --> 01:10:25,517
a long, long dead-end road, huh?
958
01:10:25,809 --> 01:10:28,395
Oh, it's a long,
long dead-end road.
959
01:10:28,687 --> 01:10:31,732
Oh, it's a long, long
dead-end road, huh?
960
01:10:32,023 --> 01:10:33,859
It's a long, long dead-end road.
961
01:10:34,151 --> 01:10:35,277
Thank you.
962
01:10:35,569 --> 01:10:38,822
[CHEERING]
963
01:10:46,830 --> 01:10:48,165
[JOHN SEX, "HUSTLE WITH MY
MUSCLE"]
964
01:10:48,457 --> 01:10:50,792
Oh, I'm glad they sent you over.
965
01:10:52,836 --> 01:10:53,462
Oh, honey.
966
01:10:53,754 --> 01:10:55,797
You look as good as
a government check.
967
01:10:56,089 --> 01:10:59,676
I heard you, so pleasing/And
baby, oh, I need pleasing.
968
01:10:59,968 --> 01:11:01,845
You a big fine, healthy man.
969
01:11:02,137 --> 01:11:03,180
Peel that banana.
970
01:11:04,681 --> 01:11:05,724
Get to work.
971
01:11:06,016 --> 01:11:07,851
I want to sit in that
saddle and-- oh--
972
01:11:08,143 --> 01:11:09,644
Go round and-- oh, shit--
973
01:11:09,936 --> 01:11:11,855
Round and let me
chuck it, I said.
974
01:11:12,147 --> 01:11:14,065
Let me get my dogs
on the head of that.
975
01:11:14,357 --> 01:11:16,568
This brown thing will
make me break myself.
976
01:11:16,860 --> 01:11:17,319
Oh.
977
01:11:17,611 --> 01:11:17,986
Oh!
978
01:11:18,278 --> 01:11:18,737
Oh.
979
01:11:19,029 --> 01:11:20,947
Now, I know why they
call you the ruler.
980
01:11:21,239 --> 01:11:21,782
Oh!
981
01:11:22,073 --> 01:11:22,741
Oh!
982
01:11:23,033 --> 01:11:25,285
Oh!
983
01:11:25,577 --> 01:11:28,997
(SINGING) Your heart beats
like a virgin tonight.
984
01:11:29,289 --> 01:11:31,958
You'll ride the pig
till the morning light.
985
01:11:32,250 --> 01:11:35,796
You're my bitch in the
kitchen, a whore in bed.
986
01:11:36,087 --> 01:11:39,382
Save your fine mouth when
you're giving me head.
987
01:11:39,674 --> 01:11:40,383
Ah.
988
01:11:40,675 --> 01:11:41,259
Ah.
989
01:11:41,551 --> 01:11:41,927
Ah.
990
01:11:42,219 --> 01:11:42,844
Ah.
991
01:11:43,136 --> 01:11:46,306
Ah, ah, ah, ah, whoa!
992
01:11:46,598 --> 01:11:47,974
Hustle with my muscle.
993
01:11:48,266 --> 01:11:49,434
Hustle with my muscle.
994
01:11:49,726 --> 01:11:53,271
Can you handle the
man below my belt?
995
01:11:53,563 --> 01:11:54,940
Hustle with my muscle.
996
01:11:55,232 --> 01:11:56,691
Hustle with my muscle.
997
01:11:56,983 --> 01:12:00,320
Girl, I got the most I
think you ever felt. Ha!
998
01:12:00,612 --> 01:12:01,988
Hustle with my muscle.
999
01:12:02,280 --> 01:12:03,532
Hustle with my muscle.
1000
01:12:04,032 --> 01:12:05,575
Hustle with my muscle.
1001
01:12:05,867 --> 01:12:07,077
Hustle with my muscle.
1002
01:12:20,340 --> 01:12:21,424
I've been with queens.
1003
01:12:21,716 --> 01:12:22,092
Uh-huh.
1004
01:12:22,384 --> 01:12:23,552
I've been with whores.
1005
01:12:24,636 --> 01:12:25,011
I bet.
1006
01:12:25,303 --> 01:12:27,889
I'll make you pussy
jump out your doors.
1007
01:12:28,181 --> 01:12:28,557
Oh, whoa!
1008
01:12:28,849 --> 01:12:31,434
Move your ass, girl, and
roll your big fat belly!
1009
01:12:31,726 --> 01:12:32,352
Shimmy!
1010
01:12:32,644 --> 01:12:34,604
I'll grab a box till
it's good and smelly.
1011
01:12:35,105 --> 01:12:35,438
Ah.
1012
01:12:35,730 --> 01:12:36,106
Ah.
1013
01:12:36,398 --> 01:12:36,731
Ah.
1014
01:12:37,107 --> 01:12:37,524
Ah.
1015
01:12:37,816 --> 01:12:38,191
Ah.
1016
01:12:38,567 --> 01:12:38,942
Ah.
1017
01:12:39,234 --> 01:12:39,651
Ah.
1018
01:12:39,943 --> 01:12:41,403
Ah, ah, ah, ah, whoa!
1019
01:12:41,945 --> 01:12:43,280
Do the hustle!
1020
01:12:43,572 --> 01:12:45,115
You ready for an instant replay?
1021
01:12:45,407 --> 01:12:45,782
Whoa!
1022
01:12:46,074 --> 01:12:47,492
Honey, you came to
the right place.
1023
01:12:47,784 --> 01:12:49,995
We're going to lick you in the
front and poke you in the back.
1024
01:12:50,287 --> 01:12:50,662
Oh!
1025
01:12:50,954 --> 01:12:53,999
I hope you brought your boots
and shoes because, baby, Oh!
1026
01:12:54,291 --> 01:12:55,542
You're going to be here a while.
1027
01:12:55,834 --> 01:12:56,418
Woo!
1028
01:12:56,710 --> 01:12:58,753
I ain't leaving this bed till
my Griffin stop gripping.
1029
01:12:59,045 --> 01:13:01,006
And my dogs and puppet
stopped waiting.
1030
01:13:01,298 --> 01:13:01,673
Woo!
1031
01:13:01,965 --> 01:13:04,050
Let my puppies bare it.
1032
01:13:04,342 --> 01:13:07,304
You long, weeny, kitty,
scraping, super stud sex crate.
1033
01:13:07,721 --> 01:13:08,138
Oh!
1034
01:13:08,471 --> 01:13:08,889
Get it!
1035
01:13:09,180 --> 01:13:09,514
Get it!
1036
01:13:09,806 --> 01:13:10,432
Get it!
1037
01:13:10,724 --> 01:13:13,977
[HARMONIZING] Mondo, New York.
1038
01:13:14,269 --> 01:13:17,230
[HARMONIZING] Mondo, New York.
1039
01:13:17,522 --> 01:13:17,898
Yeah.
1040
01:13:18,189 --> 01:13:19,816
(SINGING) Every
night is Halloween.
1041
01:13:20,108 --> 01:13:23,987
And every day is a April Fool,
where the darkness never ends.
1042
01:13:24,279 --> 01:13:26,656
And there cannot be any rules.
1043
01:13:27,532 --> 01:13:31,244
[HARMONIZING] Mondo, New York.
1044
01:13:31,536 --> 01:13:34,998
[HARMONIZING] Mondo, New York.
1045
01:13:35,290 --> 01:13:35,707
Yeah.
1046
01:13:35,999 --> 01:13:37,584
(SINGING) Every
night is Halloween.
1047
01:13:37,876 --> 01:13:41,796
And every day is April Fool,
where the darkness never ends.
1048
01:13:42,088 --> 01:13:43,715
And there cannot be any rules.
1049
01:13:44,007 --> 01:13:44,424
In--
1050
01:13:44,716 --> 01:13:47,928
[HARMONIZING] Mondo, New York.
1051
01:13:48,219 --> 01:13:49,137
Wow.
1052
01:13:49,429 --> 01:13:52,140
[HARMONIZING]
1053
01:13:52,432 --> 01:13:55,727
[CHATTER]
1054
01:14:01,900 --> 01:14:08,281
In this town, you can get
it faster and more of it.
1055
01:14:08,573 --> 01:14:12,786
I mean, I've been working ever
since the first day I arrived.
1056
01:14:14,287 --> 01:14:15,914
But I'm going to quit soon.
1057
01:14:16,206 --> 01:14:19,042
I got big plans, baby--
1058
01:14:19,334 --> 01:14:20,877
Big plans.
1059
01:14:21,962 --> 01:14:23,755
[FOOTSTEPS]
1060
01:14:24,047 --> 01:14:25,548
I love New York because
there's money here.
1061
01:14:25,840 --> 01:14:26,216
Yeah, you bet.
1062
01:14:26,508 --> 01:14:27,217
Anything can happen
here in New York.
1063
01:14:27,509 --> 01:14:27,968
Right.
1064
01:14:28,301 --> 01:14:28,718
[CHUCKLES]
1065
01:14:29,010 --> 01:14:32,013
[FOOTSTEPS]
1066
01:14:34,474 --> 01:14:38,186
I love New York because
it's alive 24 hours.
1067
01:14:38,687 --> 01:14:41,815
I meet people from all
over the world here.
1068
01:14:42,107 --> 01:14:43,942
And it doesn't matter
whether you're rich or poor.
1069
01:14:44,234 --> 01:14:47,445
There's always somebody
willing to help you.
1070
01:14:47,737 --> 01:14:50,991
[MANITOBA'S WILD KINGDOM, "NEW
YORK, NEW YORK"]
1071
01:15:09,300 --> 01:15:14,556
Smoking marijuana,
watching Channel 5,
1072
01:15:14,848 --> 01:15:19,894
got to get my strength up
in this struggle to survive.
1073
01:15:20,186 --> 01:15:22,856
Everyone's an asshole.
1074
01:15:23,481 --> 01:15:25,984
Everyone's a creep.
1075
01:15:26,276 --> 01:15:31,489
I look out my window, there's
garbage in the streets.
1076
01:15:31,781 --> 01:15:33,283
I live in the city.
1077
01:15:33,658 --> 01:15:36,327
I breathe dirty air.
1078
01:15:36,619 --> 01:15:41,833
I ride trains with negroes,
junkies, fags, and squares.
1079
01:15:42,125 --> 01:15:43,334
New York, New York.
1080
01:15:43,626 --> 01:15:44,335
[CHEERING]
1081
01:15:44,627 --> 01:15:46,796
New York, New York.
1082
01:15:47,088 --> 01:15:49,799
New York, New York.
1083
01:15:50,091 --> 01:15:51,384
New York, New York.
1084
01:15:53,053 --> 01:15:56,431
[DEAN AND THE WEENIES, "FUCK
YOU"]
1085
01:16:30,131 --> 01:16:32,801
Why are you staring at me?
1086
01:16:33,093 --> 01:16:36,805
When I look back at you,
I don't like what I see.
1087
01:16:37,806 --> 01:16:40,058
Your lack of character shows.
1088
01:16:40,350 --> 01:16:41,601
I hate your clothes.
1089
01:16:41,893 --> 01:16:45,396
And you got something disgusting
hanging out of your nose.
1090
01:17:03,081 --> 01:17:05,875
Why are you talking to me?
1091
01:17:06,167 --> 01:17:08,711
Please leave immediately.
1092
01:17:09,003 --> 01:17:10,713
Where is your dignity?
1093
01:17:11,131 --> 01:17:12,924
Please get away from me.
1094
01:17:13,216 --> 01:17:16,261
Why don't you choke on
a fashion accessory?
1095
01:17:31,860 --> 01:17:33,987
I cannot remember your name.
1096
01:17:34,279 --> 01:17:36,030
And I could not care less.
1097
01:17:36,364 --> 01:17:40,118
I could have more fun
talking to the IRS.
1098
01:17:40,410 --> 01:17:44,205
Why don't you take your
problems to analysis?
1099
01:17:44,581 --> 01:17:48,710
Take your foot out of your
mouth and suck on this.
1100
01:17:49,002 --> 01:17:49,961
Fuck you!
1101
01:18:01,848 --> 01:18:03,308
Everybody now--
1102
01:18:03,600 --> 01:18:04,017
Fuck--
1103
01:18:04,309 --> 01:18:06,978
--The telephone company.
1104
01:18:07,312 --> 01:18:07,854
Fuck--
1105
01:18:08,146 --> 01:18:10,106
--National security.
1106
01:18:10,481 --> 01:18:11,399
Fuck--
1107
01:18:11,691 --> 01:18:13,902
--The prime interest rate.
1108
01:18:14,194 --> 01:18:15,236
Fuck--
1109
01:18:15,570 --> 01:18:18,031
--The Secretary of State.
1110
01:18:18,323 --> 01:18:18,865
Fuck--
1111
01:18:19,157 --> 01:18:21,743
--Union Carbide.
1112
01:18:22,035 --> 01:18:22,702
Fuck--
1113
01:18:23,036 --> 01:18:25,538
--Third World genocide.
1114
01:18:25,955 --> 01:18:26,581
Fuck--
1115
01:18:26,873 --> 01:18:29,209
--Thermonuclear war.
1116
01:18:29,500 --> 01:18:30,043
Fuck--
1117
01:18:30,335 --> 01:18:34,964
--Mary Tyler Moore!
1118
01:18:35,256 --> 01:18:37,508
Fuck you.
1119
01:18:47,143 --> 01:18:51,064
So go tell it to the judge
because I don't care.
1120
01:18:51,356 --> 01:18:55,860
You'd look cooler if you
were Frigidaire, got lost,
1121
01:18:56,361 --> 01:18:59,030
eat shit, drop dead, go screw.
1122
01:18:59,322 --> 01:19:00,907
We're in big trouble, baby.
1123
01:19:01,199 --> 01:19:05,078
And the trouble is you.
1124
01:19:05,370 --> 01:19:07,455
Fuck you!
1125
01:19:17,423 --> 01:19:17,840
Oh!
1126
01:19:39,487 --> 01:19:41,197
This is art, buddy.
1127
01:19:41,489 --> 01:19:44,659
["MONDO THEME ll" PLAYING]
72999
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