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1
00:00:03,937 --> 00:00:05,303
All right,
Listen up, people.
2
00:00:05,305 --> 00:00:06,304
Today, we're gonna
Talk about
3
00:00:06,306 --> 00:00:08,306
What happens during
Sexual intercourse.
4
00:00:09,576 --> 00:00:11,776
Um, are we gonna be
Choosing lab partners?
5
00:00:11,778 --> 00:00:14,546
'cause if so, I got dibs
On donna hagen.
6
00:00:14,548 --> 00:00:16,381
No, we're not choosing
Lab partners, tommy.
7
00:00:16,383 --> 00:00:17,382
Well, then,
We're gonna need
8
00:00:17,384 --> 00:00:19,384
A much more attractive
C.P.R. Dummy.
9
00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:22,454
All right, now,
The male and female
10
00:00:22,456 --> 00:00:25,156
Reproductive cells
Each carry half--yes?
11
00:00:25,158 --> 00:00:26,859
I'm sorry, but
This material
12
00:00:26,861 --> 00:00:28,994
Just lacks
A certain, um...
13
00:00:28,996 --> 00:00:30,962
I don't know...
Hotness.
14
00:00:32,232 --> 00:00:34,332
Let's talk about
Cellular meiosis, all right?
15
00:00:34,334 --> 00:00:36,935
There are 5 stages--
Uh, yes?
16
00:00:36,937 --> 00:00:37,936
When are you gonna
Teach us
17
00:00:37,938 --> 00:00:39,204
How to unhook a bra?
18
00:00:41,175 --> 00:00:42,574
We're not learning that.
19
00:00:42,576 --> 00:00:43,775
Ok. Well,
20
00:00:43,777 --> 00:00:45,344
All this stuff is
Very interesting,
21
00:00:45,346 --> 00:00:46,512
But I'm not gonna
Get to any of it
22
00:00:46,514 --> 00:00:47,912
If I can't unhook a bra.
23
00:00:51,452 --> 00:00:52,584
Sally, is
My shirt ready?
24
00:00:52,586 --> 00:00:53,752
In a minute.
25
00:00:53,754 --> 00:00:55,654
Sally, I'm starving.
What's for dinner?
26
00:00:55,656 --> 00:00:57,222
Oh, I made you
Some hamburgers.
27
00:00:57,224 --> 00:00:58,589
They're down at
The hamburger place.
28
00:00:58,591 --> 00:00:59,590
All you have to do
Is go there,
29
00:00:59,592 --> 00:01:00,726
Order, and pay for 'em.
30
00:01:04,965 --> 00:01:07,099
Hi, there, skipper.
Bad day at school?
31
00:01:07,101 --> 00:01:08,566
Yeah. They don't
Teach you
32
00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:09,601
Anything
You can use.
33
00:01:09,603 --> 00:01:11,069
I had sex ed
Today...
34
00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:13,171
Oh. Did they teach you
How to take off a bra?
35
00:01:15,209 --> 00:01:16,308
No. That's
The thing.
36
00:01:16,310 --> 00:01:18,076
It's all "Ed"
And no sex.
37
00:01:19,312 --> 00:01:20,779
Oh, tommy,
How I wish
38
00:01:20,781 --> 00:01:23,414
We could afford
Private school for you.
39
00:01:23,416 --> 00:01:24,816
Well, I'm going to
Don's.
40
00:01:24,818 --> 00:01:25,984
We're gonna
Have sex tonight.
41
00:01:25,986 --> 00:01:27,151
That sounds
Like fun.
42
00:01:27,153 --> 00:01:29,187
Hey, sally,
Are you ovulating?
43
00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:33,425
No. Are you?
44
00:01:35,062 --> 00:01:36,661
No. But you ought
To be
45
00:01:36,663 --> 00:01:37,830
Careful tonight
At don's.
46
00:01:37,832 --> 00:01:39,865
You know, he's got
Millions of sperm.
47
00:01:42,369 --> 00:01:43,368
Who told you that?
48
00:01:43,370 --> 00:01:44,369
I just
Learned it.
49
00:01:44,371 --> 00:01:45,370
I'm just saying
You don't wanna
50
00:01:45,372 --> 00:01:46,437
Get pregnant.
51
00:01:46,439 --> 00:01:48,207
Pfft! You can't
Get pregnant like that.
52
00:01:48,209 --> 00:01:49,241
You get pregnant from
53
00:01:49,243 --> 00:01:50,675
Sitting on
A toilet seat
54
00:01:50,677 --> 00:01:53,812
Or swimming in a pool
With some guys.
55
00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:55,580
Oh, no.
56
00:01:59,253 --> 00:02:00,852
No, that's not
How it happens.
57
00:02:00,854 --> 00:02:02,153
It's caused
By sex.
58
00:02:02,155 --> 00:02:04,255
Lieutenant, you are
The security officer.
59
00:02:04,257 --> 00:02:05,290
If you got pregnant,
60
00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:08,159
It would seriously
Jeopardize our mission.
61
00:02:08,161 --> 00:02:10,028
You never said
Anything before.
62
00:02:10,030 --> 00:02:11,229
Well, you weren't
Getting the regular
63
00:02:11,231 --> 00:02:12,230
Nookie before.
64
00:02:14,568 --> 00:02:16,634
Sally, getting pregnant
Goes against protocol.
65
00:02:16,636 --> 00:02:18,937
And it's an endless
Responsibility.
66
00:02:18,939 --> 00:02:20,339
It'll make your feet
Swell up.
67
00:02:21,608 --> 00:02:25,977
God, you guys are right.
I can't get pregnant.
68
00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:27,846
I just got new shoes.
69
00:03:06,586 --> 00:03:07,719
I'll be right back
With your change.
70
00:03:09,556 --> 00:03:10,822
You know,
I can't believe
71
00:03:10,824 --> 00:03:12,657
How flaky
That sole was.
72
00:03:12,659 --> 00:03:14,660
Mm. You know what
I can't believe?
73
00:03:14,662 --> 00:03:16,161
That you've never
Been pregnant.
74
00:03:16,163 --> 00:03:17,995
What?
75
00:03:17,997 --> 00:03:19,531
Considering how many
76
00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:20,898
"Gentlemen callers"
You've had,
77
00:03:20,900 --> 00:03:22,066
It's kind of
A miracle.
78
00:03:23,571 --> 00:03:25,170
Dick, I can't
Have children.
79
00:03:25,172 --> 00:03:27,972
Oh, mary...
Why not?
80
00:03:27,974 --> 00:03:29,307
Because I hate them.
81
00:03:30,911 --> 00:03:33,011
Oh, well...
We're ok then.
82
00:03:33,013 --> 00:03:33,945
Thank you.
83
00:03:41,688 --> 00:03:42,854
What are you doing?
84
00:03:42,856 --> 00:03:44,622
I'm just taking
The little extra money
85
00:03:44,624 --> 00:03:46,925
You always leave for me.
86
00:03:46,927 --> 00:03:48,393
Oh, my god!
87
00:03:48,395 --> 00:03:50,028
No wonder we're
Treated like crap
88
00:03:50,030 --> 00:03:51,830
Everywhere we go!
89
00:03:51,832 --> 00:03:53,498
How can you be
So cheap?
90
00:03:53,500 --> 00:03:54,800
I-I'm not cheap.
91
00:03:54,802 --> 00:03:56,101
Then put the tip
Back on the table.
92
00:03:56,103 --> 00:03:57,102
The what?
93
00:03:57,104 --> 00:03:58,402
The tip.
It was $10.
94
00:03:58,404 --> 00:03:59,404
Put it back.
95
00:03:59,406 --> 00:04:00,939
Uh, of course.
The tip.
96
00:04:04,778 --> 00:04:05,977
Good night.
Thank you.
97
00:04:05,979 --> 00:04:07,212
Oh. Thank you.
98
00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:13,819
Mary! That waitress
Just stole our tip!
99
00:04:17,490 --> 00:04:19,724
Don, this is
So special--
100
00:04:19,726 --> 00:04:21,893
The wine,
The candles...
101
00:04:21,895 --> 00:04:25,230
The fish sticks.
102
00:04:25,232 --> 00:04:28,000
I know your weak spot.
103
00:04:28,002 --> 00:04:29,001
Rrahhrr!
104
00:04:29,003 --> 00:04:31,470
Ha ha ha ha!
105
00:04:31,472 --> 00:04:32,971
You know...
106
00:04:32,973 --> 00:04:34,740
We don't have to eat
Right now.
107
00:04:39,179 --> 00:04:41,079
Why don't I fire up
The lava lamp?
108
00:04:44,351 --> 00:04:45,450
The red one?
109
00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:47,085
Oh, yeah, baby.
110
00:04:47,087 --> 00:04:48,086
Will you turn on
111
00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:50,021
The black light
In the aquarium?
112
00:04:50,023 --> 00:04:51,123
Sure, baby.
113
00:04:51,125 --> 00:04:53,024
Did you take out
The dead angel fish?
114
00:04:54,494 --> 00:04:55,660
I will, baby.
115
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:03,601
What?
I can't!
116
00:05:03,603 --> 00:05:04,902
Is it because
Of the fish sticks?
117
00:05:04,904 --> 00:05:06,037
Because I could
Brush my teeth.
118
00:05:06,039 --> 00:05:07,372
No, no.
I love fish sticks.
119
00:05:07,374 --> 00:05:08,540
It's just...
I can't have sex
120
00:05:08,542 --> 00:05:09,541
With you tonight.
121
00:05:09,543 --> 00:05:10,708
Why?
122
00:05:10,710 --> 00:05:12,944
Tommy gave me
Millions of reasons.
123
00:05:14,548 --> 00:05:16,348
That little bastard.
124
00:05:21,421 --> 00:05:23,088
Did you find it yet?
125
00:05:23,090 --> 00:05:24,756
No. Why didn't
You tell me
126
00:05:24,758 --> 00:05:25,924
That there was
A rusty meal
127
00:05:25,926 --> 00:05:27,492
Surprise gift
In the bag?
128
00:05:28,828 --> 00:05:30,128
Oh. Wait a second.
129
00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:32,597
Ah! There we go!
130
00:05:32,599 --> 00:05:34,399
Yeah, I found it!
131
00:05:34,401 --> 00:05:35,400
[ice rattling]
132
00:05:35,402 --> 00:05:37,335
[ice rattling]
133
00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:40,772
Um...
Excuse me...
134
00:05:41,809 --> 00:05:43,742
[ice rattling]
135
00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:48,113
[change rattling]
136
00:05:58,058 --> 00:06:00,458
Dude, I've got,
Like, 40 bucks here.
137
00:06:00,460 --> 00:06:01,926
How much do you have?
138
00:06:01,928 --> 00:06:03,395
We're supposed
To be counting?
139
00:06:08,234 --> 00:06:09,233
Hey, where did
All that money
140
00:06:09,235 --> 00:06:10,235
Come from?
141
00:06:10,237 --> 00:06:11,769
People gave it
To us.
142
00:06:11,771 --> 00:06:14,906
For what?
Absolutely nothing.
143
00:06:14,908 --> 00:06:15,907
You were great
At it.
144
00:06:15,909 --> 00:06:18,376
You were better,
My man.
145
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:20,211
This makes
No sense.
146
00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:21,846
You're getting paid
To do nothing.
147
00:06:21,848 --> 00:06:22,847
Meanwhile,
I'm expected
148
00:06:22,849 --> 00:06:23,848
To pay tips
To people
149
00:06:23,850 --> 00:06:24,882
For doing things
That I'm already
150
00:06:24,884 --> 00:06:26,718
Paying them to do.
151
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:27,952
It's only fair, dick.
152
00:06:27,954 --> 00:06:30,255
It's a reward
For good service.
153
00:06:30,257 --> 00:06:31,389
You know
About tipping?
154
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:32,423
Sure. That's
How I make
155
00:06:32,425 --> 00:06:33,725
Most of my money
Down at the bar.
156
00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:34,826
But I never tip you.
157
00:06:34,828 --> 00:06:35,960
And that's
Why your drink
158
00:06:35,962 --> 00:06:37,495
Always has
That funny taste.
159
00:06:43,536 --> 00:06:45,536
Mary thinks I'm cheap.
160
00:06:45,538 --> 00:06:47,505
You're not cheap.
You're thrifty.
161
00:06:47,507 --> 00:06:48,506
Frugal.
Economical.
162
00:06:48,508 --> 00:06:49,507
Cheap.
163
00:06:49,509 --> 00:06:51,109
Yeah, that's it.
You're cheap.
164
00:06:52,679 --> 00:06:54,913
I can't let her
Think that.
165
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:58,249
From now on, I'm tipping
A generous 3% to 5%.
166
00:06:58,251 --> 00:07:00,485
Cheap cheap cheap!
Cheap cheap cheap!
167
00:07:00,487 --> 00:07:01,720
Cheap cheap cheap!
Cheap cheap cheap!
168
00:07:01,722 --> 00:07:03,254
I am not cheap!
169
00:07:04,457 --> 00:07:06,725
Dick, we're having
Girl talk here.
170
00:07:06,727 --> 00:07:09,027
Ohh...Girl talk!
171
00:07:10,797 --> 00:07:12,697
Anyway, don and I
Have been together
172
00:07:12,699 --> 00:07:13,798
For a while now,
173
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:15,166
And so far,
I've been lucky,
174
00:07:15,168 --> 00:07:17,502
But how long can
I stay lucky?
175
00:07:17,504 --> 00:07:19,170
Honey, what kind
Of birth control
176
00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:20,304
Are you using?
177
00:07:21,708 --> 00:07:22,840
Birth control?
178
00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:25,610
I can control birth?
179
00:07:27,013 --> 00:07:28,213
Sure, you can.
You know,
180
00:07:28,215 --> 00:07:29,281
With
Birth control.
181
00:07:29,283 --> 00:07:30,482
Oh, do not come in here
182
00:07:30,484 --> 00:07:32,417
Claiming you know
What that is.
183
00:07:32,419 --> 00:07:33,618
But I do.
I know that,
184
00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:34,619
I know tipping,
185
00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:36,988
I know
Everything.
186
00:07:36,990 --> 00:07:38,490
And I'm
Not cheap.
187
00:07:38,492 --> 00:07:41,159
Cheap cheap cheap!
Cheap cheap cheap!
188
00:07:44,597 --> 00:07:45,630
Thanks.
189
00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:47,665
Dick, you do not
Have to come with me
190
00:07:47,667 --> 00:07:49,801
To the gynecologist's
Office.
191
00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:51,202
I've been with you
For all your
192
00:07:51,204 --> 00:07:53,138
Womanly milestones.
193
00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:54,305
I was with you
When you got
194
00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:55,706
Your first bikini wax.
195
00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:58,176
No, you weren't.
196
00:07:58,178 --> 00:08:00,444
Yes, I was.
You just couldn't see me.
197
00:08:03,684 --> 00:08:04,716
Ok, sally.
198
00:08:04,718 --> 00:08:06,217
Sorry to keep
You waiting.
199
00:08:06,219 --> 00:08:07,552
Nice to see you.
You, too.
200
00:08:07,554 --> 00:08:08,586
Hello.
201
00:08:08,588 --> 00:08:11,289
Well, let's talk
About birth control.
202
00:08:11,291 --> 00:08:12,290
What have you used
In the past?
203
00:08:12,292 --> 00:08:13,291
Nothing.
204
00:08:13,293 --> 00:08:14,659
It never really
Occurred to us
205
00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:15,660
To use anything.
206
00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:17,161
Oh. Well, uh,
207
00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:19,197
How long have the two
Of you been married?
208
00:08:19,199 --> 00:08:20,831
Married? Oh,
He's my brother.
209
00:08:23,136 --> 00:08:25,836
Oh, no, no, no.
I have a boyfriend.
210
00:08:25,838 --> 00:08:28,539
I'm not even
Attracted to him.
211
00:08:28,541 --> 00:08:31,243
Thanks for the
Gratuitous slam, sally.
212
00:08:31,245 --> 00:08:32,310
Ok. Well,
213
00:08:32,312 --> 00:08:35,112
What method were you
Interested in exploring?
214
00:08:35,114 --> 00:08:37,549
Well, I don't want
Him to know
215
00:08:37,551 --> 00:08:38,650
I'm using it,
216
00:08:38,652 --> 00:08:40,552
So I don't want
Anything loud.
217
00:08:43,423 --> 00:08:44,489
Loud?
218
00:08:44,491 --> 00:08:46,258
Yeah. I mean, it
Would just crush him
219
00:08:46,260 --> 00:08:48,126
If he knew I didn't want
To have his kids.
220
00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:49,127
Oh, right.
221
00:08:49,129 --> 00:08:50,995
Well, uh...This
Is the sponge.
222
00:08:50,997 --> 00:08:51,996
It's small
223
00:08:51,998 --> 00:08:54,065
And highly
Effective.
224
00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:55,366
Sponge?
225
00:08:56,402 --> 00:08:59,370
Oh, I get it.
It's so small,
226
00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:00,371
That by the time
You're done
227
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:01,438
Doing the dishes,
228
00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:04,142
You're too exhausted
To have sex, right?
229
00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:10,148
Do they come with
A scouring side?
230
00:09:10,150 --> 00:09:11,383
No, no.
You see,
231
00:09:11,385 --> 00:09:13,118
The sponge,
The diaphragm,
232
00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:14,386
These are
Barrier methods.
233
00:09:14,388 --> 00:09:15,987
You insert them
Before sex.
234
00:09:15,989 --> 00:09:16,988
Ooh, mood killer.
235
00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:19,090
It's not for us.
236
00:09:19,092 --> 00:09:22,426
Look, don't you have
Anything simple, easy,
237
00:09:22,428 --> 00:09:23,527
Something like--
I don't know--
238
00:09:23,529 --> 00:09:25,597
A pill or something?
239
00:09:25,599 --> 00:09:27,565
Well, of course,
There is the pill.
240
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:28,700
Don't mock me.
241
00:09:30,803 --> 00:09:32,770
No, no, the
Birth control pill.
242
00:09:32,772 --> 00:09:33,771
It's very safe
243
00:09:33,773 --> 00:09:34,839
And highly
Effective.
244
00:09:34,841 --> 00:09:37,041
There are a few side
Effects, however:
245
00:09:37,043 --> 00:09:39,177
Bloating, anxiety,
Mood swings...
246
00:09:39,179 --> 00:09:40,445
Mood swings.
I can handle that.
247
00:09:40,447 --> 00:09:41,412
Bring it on.
248
00:09:43,149 --> 00:09:45,116
I can't swallow this.
249
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:48,453
Maybe if you
Mash it up
250
00:09:48,455 --> 00:09:49,454
With some bananas.
251
00:09:49,456 --> 00:09:50,488
Oh, that's
A good idea--
252
00:09:50,490 --> 00:09:51,422
I'll take it.
253
00:09:56,929 --> 00:09:58,463
Somebody ordered
A pizza?
254
00:09:58,465 --> 00:09:59,464
Nobody here.
255
00:09:59,466 --> 00:10:02,467
Oh...Yes,
They did.
256
00:10:02,469 --> 00:10:05,703
Lunch is on me
Today, girls.
257
00:10:05,705 --> 00:10:07,271
Money is no object,
258
00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:09,507
So put away
Those wallets.
259
00:10:09,509 --> 00:10:11,910
I am paying
For this pizza--
260
00:10:11,912 --> 00:10:15,046
A pizza being
Paid for...By me.
261
00:10:15,849 --> 00:10:16,848
Thanks, dick.
262
00:10:16,850 --> 00:10:17,849
Thank you,
Dr. Solomon.
263
00:10:17,851 --> 00:10:18,850
Oh, it's my pleasure.
264
00:10:18,852 --> 00:10:20,017
That'll be $12.
265
00:10:20,019 --> 00:10:21,619
And there
You are.
266
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:22,921
And here's
Your change.
267
00:10:22,923 --> 00:10:24,756
Mm-hmm.
Let's see,
268
00:10:24,758 --> 00:10:28,259
4.5% of 12
Would be...
269
00:10:28,261 --> 00:10:29,861
Uh, excuse me.
270
00:10:29,863 --> 00:10:31,529
Where's the little
Patio table
271
00:10:31,531 --> 00:10:34,765
That keeps the cheese
From sticking to the lid?
272
00:10:34,767 --> 00:10:36,434
Sorry, man.
273
00:10:36,436 --> 00:10:37,502
Thank you.
274
00:10:39,572 --> 00:10:41,338
I said thank you,
My good man.
275
00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:47,645
You are unbelievable.
276
00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:50,081
What? I sprang
For this pie.
277
00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:51,916
You have to give
The guy something.
278
00:10:51,918 --> 00:10:53,852
Well, why? A tip is
Supposed to be
279
00:10:53,854 --> 00:10:55,486
A reward
For good service.
280
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:57,288
He brought the pizza
All the way up here.
281
00:10:57,290 --> 00:10:58,690
But that's his job.
282
00:10:58,692 --> 00:11:00,224
We have a business
Arrangement.
283
00:11:00,226 --> 00:11:01,726
I'm not his mommy!
284
00:11:05,198 --> 00:11:06,197
Come on! Come on!
285
00:11:06,199 --> 00:11:07,932
Whaddaya got?
Come on!
286
00:11:07,934 --> 00:11:08,967
Whaddaya got?
Come on! Come on!
287
00:11:08,969 --> 00:11:09,968
Come on!
Come on!
288
00:11:09,970 --> 00:11:10,969
Come on!
Come on!
289
00:11:10,971 --> 00:11:11,970
Whaddaya got?
Come on!
290
00:11:11,972 --> 00:11:13,371
Thank you.
Thank you.
291
00:11:13,373 --> 00:11:14,706
That's really
Nice of you.
292
00:11:14,708 --> 00:11:15,740
Come on!
Whaddaya got?
293
00:11:15,742 --> 00:11:16,774
Hey, come on!
294
00:11:16,776 --> 00:11:18,009
Whaddaya got?
Whaddaya got?
295
00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:20,311
Come on, lady.
Whaddaya got?
296
00:11:20,313 --> 00:11:21,512
Come on!
Come on!
297
00:11:27,887 --> 00:11:30,722
Why are you crying?
298
00:11:30,724 --> 00:11:32,724
The movie's so sad.
299
00:11:34,761 --> 00:11:36,027
It's "Caddyshack."
300
00:11:38,265 --> 00:11:42,100
Yeah, but the gopher's
Making fun of everybody.
301
00:11:44,604 --> 00:11:46,337
You're right, sally.
I'm--I'm sorry.
302
00:11:46,339 --> 00:11:48,273
I should've rented
Something else.
303
00:11:48,275 --> 00:11:49,674
Yeah, you could've,
304
00:11:49,676 --> 00:11:51,176
But you didn't,
Did you?
305
00:11:52,679 --> 00:11:54,779
Did you?!
306
00:11:54,781 --> 00:11:57,014
Well, why don't we
Just turn it off?
307
00:11:57,016 --> 00:11:59,417
Oh, thanks, donnie.
308
00:11:59,419 --> 00:12:01,319
I love you.
309
00:12:01,321 --> 00:12:02,387
What are you doing?
310
00:12:04,156 --> 00:12:05,656
Playing
"Kiss the cow"?
311
00:12:05,658 --> 00:12:06,657
What do you mean?
312
00:12:06,659 --> 00:12:08,526
Oh, please,
Look at me.
313
00:12:08,528 --> 00:12:10,328
I'm so fat
And disgusting,
314
00:12:10,330 --> 00:12:11,996
My boobs are sore...
315
00:12:11,998 --> 00:12:12,997
I don't even know
How you can
316
00:12:12,999 --> 00:12:14,965
Look at me.
317
00:12:14,967 --> 00:12:16,000
Kiss me again.
318
00:12:16,002 --> 00:12:18,770
Uh, s-sally...
You're all over the map.
319
00:12:18,772 --> 00:12:19,770
What's going on?
320
00:12:19,772 --> 00:12:22,306
Oh, nothing.
Nothing at all.
321
00:12:22,308 --> 00:12:23,607
Pfft! Ha ha...
322
00:12:23,609 --> 00:12:24,842
I'm gonna go to
The fridge
323
00:12:24,844 --> 00:12:26,010
And get myself
A brownie,
324
00:12:26,012 --> 00:12:27,444
And when I
Come back...
325
00:12:27,446 --> 00:12:28,746
[sadly] I want
You to take it
326
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:30,047
Away from me.
327
00:12:31,718 --> 00:12:34,419
Oh, boy. I think I ate
The last brownie.
328
00:12:34,421 --> 00:12:36,954
Nooooo!
329
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,193
Now, you have
Two different
330
00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:43,461
Kinds
Of chromosomes:
331
00:12:43,463 --> 00:12:44,762
The "X" and the "Y,"
332
00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:46,130
And each one has
A particular--
333
00:12:46,132 --> 00:12:47,631
There you are.
Oh, my god.
334
00:12:47,633 --> 00:12:48,766
Yes?
Listen, my gyno's
335
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:49,767
At lunch,
336
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:51,069
And you're
The big sex expert--
337
00:12:51,071 --> 00:12:52,136
Are you kidding?
He doesn't even know
338
00:12:52,138 --> 00:12:53,671
How to unhook a bra.
339
00:12:53,673 --> 00:12:56,006
Tommy, he's
My only hope, ok?
340
00:12:56,008 --> 00:12:57,275
Excuse me.
Who are you?
341
00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:58,276
A stranger.
I'm his aunt.
342
00:12:58,278 --> 00:12:59,276
Can I go to
The bathroom?
343
00:12:59,278 --> 00:13:01,378
No. Sit down.
344
00:13:01,380 --> 00:13:03,213
I'm in the middle
Of teaching a class here.
345
00:13:03,215 --> 00:13:04,815
But I need answers.
You see,
346
00:13:04,817 --> 00:13:05,950
I went on the pill,
347
00:13:05,952 --> 00:13:07,685
But the pill's
Making me act crazy,
348
00:13:07,687 --> 00:13:09,220
And my boyfriend
Thinks I'm nuts
349
00:13:09,222 --> 00:13:10,522
'cause he doesn't know
That I'm on the pill,
350
00:13:10,524 --> 00:13:11,522
And I can't tell him,
351
00:13:11,524 --> 00:13:13,357
So I just really
Need your help.
352
00:13:13,359 --> 00:13:15,325
Well, um...
353
00:13:15,327 --> 00:13:16,727
Have you considered
Being honest
354
00:13:16,729 --> 00:13:18,329
With your boyfriend?
355
00:13:18,331 --> 00:13:19,630
That's not
An option.
356
00:13:21,233 --> 00:13:23,234
How about abstinence?
357
00:13:23,236 --> 00:13:24,535
Abstinence?
What's that?
358
00:13:24,537 --> 00:13:28,072
That's...That's not
Having sex at all.
359
00:13:28,074 --> 00:13:29,507
Yeah!
360
00:13:30,509 --> 00:13:33,177
Honesty! Honesty
Will work!
361
00:13:35,715 --> 00:13:37,348
Honesty. Abstinence.
362
00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:38,616
Do you see
What they're teaching us
363
00:13:38,618 --> 00:13:39,850
At the schools
These days?
364
00:13:39,852 --> 00:13:41,285
Sally,
While you're here,
365
00:13:41,287 --> 00:13:42,286
Can you at least
Show us
366
00:13:42,288 --> 00:13:43,287
How to unhook a bra?
367
00:13:43,289 --> 00:13:44,622
Hey, easy, solomon.
368
00:13:44,624 --> 00:13:46,724
It's ok.
I'll handle it.
369
00:13:46,726 --> 00:13:49,193
All right,
Listen up, class.
370
00:13:49,195 --> 00:13:53,130
You got your front-loadin',
And your back-loadin'.
371
00:13:53,132 --> 00:13:54,799
I'll need
A volunteer.
372
00:14:01,274 --> 00:14:02,840
Ah...Thank you.
373
00:14:05,779 --> 00:14:07,145
Hello.
Would you like
374
00:14:07,147 --> 00:14:08,145
Something
From the bar?
375
00:14:08,147 --> 00:14:10,014
Yes. I'll have
A glass of merlot,
376
00:14:10,016 --> 00:14:11,716
And a chardonnay
For the lady
377
00:14:11,718 --> 00:14:13,384
Who will be
Joining me.
378
00:14:13,386 --> 00:14:14,619
Oh, and, uh...
379
00:14:14,621 --> 00:14:16,854
Can we establish
Something first?
380
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:20,658
You are, I assume,
Expecting a tip?
381
00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:22,126
Well...Yes.
382
00:14:22,128 --> 00:14:23,561
Yep. All right.
383
00:14:23,563 --> 00:14:26,764
Now, this pile
Of one-dollar bills
384
00:14:26,766 --> 00:14:29,467
Represents your
Potential tip.
385
00:14:32,204 --> 00:14:36,340
Every time you please me,
You'll see the pile grow.
386
00:14:36,342 --> 00:14:38,475
However, if I
Am unsatisfied--
387
00:14:38,477 --> 00:14:40,177
If you're slow, mouthy,
388
00:14:40,179 --> 00:14:41,812
Or sneeze
Into your hands--
389
00:14:41,814 --> 00:14:45,182
You'll notice the pile
Shrinking. Agreed?
390
00:14:45,184 --> 00:14:46,284
Yes, I guess--
391
00:14:46,286 --> 00:14:47,751
All right.
Good luck.
392
00:14:51,590 --> 00:14:52,589
Dick!
393
00:14:52,591 --> 00:14:54,992
Oh, hi, mary...
394
00:14:54,994 --> 00:14:56,493
Hi. Mwah!
395
00:14:56,495 --> 00:14:57,594
So, this
Is nice.
396
00:14:57,596 --> 00:14:58,896
Mm-hmm. Trust me.
397
00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:01,465
I have taken care
Of everything.
398
00:15:03,303 --> 00:15:05,469
Ok...
Thank you.
399
00:15:05,471 --> 00:15:06,938
Here we go.
400
00:15:06,940 --> 00:15:09,206
Uh...No.
401
00:15:15,481 --> 00:15:16,981
Sorry.
402
00:15:16,983 --> 00:15:18,716
All right, we have
Specials tonight.
403
00:15:18,718 --> 00:15:20,151
There's a tri-colored salad
404
00:15:20,153 --> 00:15:21,719
With candied walnuts
And goat cheese.
405
00:15:21,721 --> 00:15:22,854
It's very, very light--
406
00:15:22,856 --> 00:15:25,356
What kind of dressing
Comes with that?
407
00:15:25,358 --> 00:15:27,157
[sighs]
I'll have to check.
408
00:15:27,159 --> 00:15:28,092
Ouch.
409
00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:31,829
What are you doing?
410
00:15:31,831 --> 00:15:36,400
Don't worry, mary.
Everything's under control.
411
00:15:36,402 --> 00:15:37,401
There you go.
412
00:15:37,403 --> 00:15:38,335
Hmm...
413
00:15:38,738 --> 00:15:39,670
No.
414
00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:44,575
Mmm!
415
00:15:46,879 --> 00:15:48,946
All right, dick,
What's going on?
416
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:52,750
Mary, I have
Reinvented tipping.
417
00:15:52,752 --> 00:15:53,918
Oh, god.
418
00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:55,419
No. I'm being generous,
419
00:15:55,421 --> 00:15:57,821
But more importantly,
I'm being honest.
420
00:15:57,823 --> 00:15:58,889
I'm bringing tipping
421
00:15:58,891 --> 00:16:00,491
Out of its dark,
Little cave
422
00:16:00,493 --> 00:16:02,160
And into the light.
423
00:16:02,162 --> 00:16:03,461
It's demeaning.
424
00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:05,028
It's the truth, mary.
425
00:16:05,030 --> 00:16:06,063
Trust me, in the future,
426
00:16:06,065 --> 00:16:07,665
All tipping will be
Done this way.
427
00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:11,269
Ok. Just to
Let you know,
428
00:16:11,271 --> 00:16:13,404
The soup du jour is
Butternut squash,
429
00:16:13,406 --> 00:16:16,040
And, uh...We're out
Of the monkfish.
430
00:16:16,042 --> 00:16:17,041
Uh-oh.
431
00:16:19,512 --> 00:16:21,112
You don't even
Like monkfish!
432
00:16:21,114 --> 00:16:23,014
That's not
The point, mary.
433
00:16:23,016 --> 00:16:24,481
Could you give us
A second?
434
00:16:25,751 --> 00:16:28,052
Ok, that's it.
Cut it out.
435
00:16:28,054 --> 00:16:29,053
From now on,
436
00:16:29,055 --> 00:16:30,855
I'm paying
For dinner.
437
00:16:30,857 --> 00:16:31,889
Fine!
438
00:16:35,795 --> 00:16:37,227
My wine tastes funny.
439
00:16:43,135 --> 00:16:44,301
[mumbling in sleep]
440
00:16:44,303 --> 00:16:46,337
Ah...Er...
Eleanor roosevelt...
441
00:16:50,610 --> 00:16:52,209
Don?
442
00:16:52,211 --> 00:16:53,344
What?
443
00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:55,847
Sally...What are
You doing here?
444
00:16:55,849 --> 00:16:57,982
We need to talk.
445
00:16:57,984 --> 00:16:59,149
You're not gonna
Yell at me again,
446
00:16:59,151 --> 00:17:00,150
Are you?
447
00:17:00,152 --> 00:17:02,353
No, don. I...
448
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:04,054
I have to tell
You something.
449
00:17:06,993 --> 00:17:08,592
I've been taking pills.
450
00:17:08,594 --> 00:17:11,728
Pills!
I should've known.
451
00:17:11,730 --> 00:17:13,730
What are they?
Uppers? Downers?
452
00:17:13,732 --> 00:17:15,232
Lubies? Beanballs?
453
00:17:17,270 --> 00:17:19,036
Worse.
454
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:21,272
Birth control pills.
455
00:17:21,274 --> 00:17:23,774
That's why I've been
Acting so crazy.
456
00:17:23,776 --> 00:17:25,176
You been taking
Birth control pills?
457
00:17:25,178 --> 00:17:26,176
Why didn't you
Tell me?
458
00:17:26,178 --> 00:17:27,678
I just didn't want
You to think
459
00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:29,012
I didn't want
To have your baby
460
00:17:29,014 --> 00:17:30,113
'cause I do--
461
00:17:30,115 --> 00:17:32,950
If I wanted to have
A baby, which I don't.
462
00:17:32,952 --> 00:17:34,685
Well, that's
All right, sally.
463
00:17:34,687 --> 00:17:35,753
Neither do I.
464
00:17:35,755 --> 00:17:38,155
That's why I...
Use protection.
465
00:17:38,157 --> 00:17:39,290
You do?
466
00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:42,460
Of course.
What'd you think was in
467
00:17:42,462 --> 00:17:43,794
Those little
Foil packets?
468
00:17:45,198 --> 00:17:47,631
I thought those were
Airplane peanuts.
469
00:17:51,504 --> 00:17:52,603
Airplane peanuts?
470
00:17:52,605 --> 00:17:53,704
Yeah.
471
00:17:53,706 --> 00:17:55,907
And I used to wonder
Why, before sex,
472
00:17:55,909 --> 00:17:59,343
You'd go into the bathroom
And eat peanuts by yourself,
473
00:17:59,345 --> 00:18:00,945
But I figured, "Hey,
474
00:18:00,947 --> 00:18:02,947
Whatever gets
You in the mood," right?
475
00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:06,751
No, sally,
Not airplane peanuts.
476
00:18:06,753 --> 00:18:08,585
Wait a second.
477
00:18:08,587 --> 00:18:12,256
If we're both using
Birth control,
478
00:18:12,258 --> 00:18:15,359
Then one of us
Can stop.
479
00:18:15,361 --> 00:18:17,328
But who?
480
00:18:17,330 --> 00:18:18,362
Definitely you.
481
00:18:18,364 --> 00:18:21,632
Are you sure?
Definitely you.
482
00:18:21,634 --> 00:18:23,567
You're so sweet.
483
00:18:23,569 --> 00:18:25,403
You know...
484
00:18:25,405 --> 00:18:29,907
Now that I know
We're both..."Safe,"
485
00:18:29,909 --> 00:18:33,010
Maybe we could...
You know.
486
00:18:33,012 --> 00:18:34,077
I think I do.
487
00:18:34,079 --> 00:18:35,479
Heh heh heh...
488
00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:40,451
Ha ha ha ha!
489
00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:42,386
[cracking up]
490
00:18:45,391 --> 00:18:46,590
What's so funny?
491
00:18:46,592 --> 00:18:48,825
[crying]
Nothing!
492
00:18:52,998 --> 00:18:55,232
This isn't gonna
Happen, is it?
493
00:18:55,234 --> 00:18:57,334
I'll see you tomorrow.
494
00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:07,512
Come on!
Whaddaya got?
495
00:19:07,514 --> 00:19:08,513
Hey! Come on!
496
00:19:08,515 --> 00:19:09,647
Come on!
Whaddaya got?
497
00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:11,716
Whaddaya got?
Hey, come on!
498
00:19:11,718 --> 00:19:12,717
Hey, rico.
499
00:19:12,719 --> 00:19:15,319
Come on!
Whaddaya got?
500
00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:16,553
What are you guys
Doing out here?
501
00:19:16,555 --> 00:19:17,555
Making
A nice living.
502
00:19:17,557 --> 00:19:18,689
Yeah, so move along.
503
00:19:18,691 --> 00:19:21,425
You're scaring away
All the philanthropists.
504
00:19:21,427 --> 00:19:23,560
All right. You just
Earned yourselves
505
00:19:23,562 --> 00:19:24,595
A citation.
506
00:19:24,597 --> 00:19:27,431
For excellence in
Change gathering?
507
00:19:27,433 --> 00:19:29,867
[emotional] It's all
Happening so fast.
508
00:19:29,869 --> 00:19:31,335
Hi, guys.
How's business?
509
00:19:31,337 --> 00:19:33,103
Great! We're being
Honored by rico.
510
00:19:33,105 --> 00:19:34,538
They're getting
A citation.
511
00:19:34,540 --> 00:19:36,974
Congratulations,
Boys!
512
00:19:37,977 --> 00:19:39,510
The ticket's $75.
513
00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:42,613
Wha..?
Oh, well...Ok.
514
00:19:42,615 --> 00:19:45,383
And I suppose you're
Going to want 15%
515
00:19:45,385 --> 00:19:47,618
As your own
Personal cut, huh?
516
00:19:47,620 --> 00:19:48,619
Excuse me?
517
00:19:48,621 --> 00:19:49,620
Don't worry.
518
00:19:49,622 --> 00:19:51,155
I know how these
Things work.
519
00:19:51,157 --> 00:19:53,424
This should
Take care of it.
520
00:19:53,426 --> 00:19:56,260
All right, that's it.
Get in the squad car.
521
00:19:56,262 --> 00:19:57,461
We're going downtown.
522
00:19:57,463 --> 00:19:59,963
Ah...Now that's
Service.
523
00:19:59,965 --> 00:20:02,299
See you down there,
Boys!
524
00:20:02,301 --> 00:20:03,467
Come on!
Hey!
525
00:20:09,075 --> 00:20:10,240
Oh, man...
526
00:20:10,242 --> 00:20:11,875
This pez sucks.
527
00:20:17,083 --> 00:20:20,651
That is not pez.
It's progesterone.
528
00:20:20,653 --> 00:20:22,853
Well, then this
Progesterone sucks.
529
00:20:24,656 --> 00:20:26,023
The calendar
Function is nice.
530
00:20:26,025 --> 00:20:27,224
Yeah.
531
00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:28,225
Sally...
532
00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:30,694
Do you tip your
Gynecologist?
533
00:20:30,696 --> 00:20:33,363
Come on. With his job,
He should be tipping me.
534
00:20:36,001 --> 00:20:37,034
Yeah, but it's strange,
Though.
535
00:20:37,036 --> 00:20:38,802
You tip the guy
Who delivers your pizza,
536
00:20:38,804 --> 00:20:40,971
But not the guy
Who delivers your baby.
537
00:20:40,973 --> 00:20:42,106
That's 'cause you
Want your pizza
538
00:20:42,108 --> 00:20:44,175
To be hot.
539
00:20:44,177 --> 00:20:46,843
If he delivers your baby
540
00:20:46,845 --> 00:20:49,280
In 30 minutes or less,
Though...
541
00:20:49,282 --> 00:20:50,714
Then you tip him!
542
00:20:50,716 --> 00:20:53,317
Well, that's
Just good service.
543
00:20:53,319 --> 00:20:55,152
More people would
Have babies
544
00:20:55,154 --> 00:20:56,687
If they came with
Free garlic bread.
545
00:20:56,689 --> 00:20:57,688
No, they wouldn't.
546
00:20:57,690 --> 00:20:58,689
Yeah. You don't
Know that.
547
00:20:58,691 --> 00:20:59,690
Yes, I do.
548
00:20:59,692 --> 00:21:00,958
No.
Give me that.
549
00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:02,726
Come on. Come on.
No!
38040
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