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1
00:00:03,937 --> 00:00:07,606
Oh, don, why do
You have to go?
2
00:00:07,608 --> 00:00:09,274
Why, sally?
3
00:00:09,276 --> 00:00:12,444
Because 10 years ago,
I took an oath--
4
00:00:12,446 --> 00:00:15,280
An oath to protect
And serve this city,
5
00:00:15,282 --> 00:00:19,784
And nothing--
Not even the prospect
Of lying in bed, naked,
6
00:00:19,786 --> 00:00:22,287
With the sexiest,
Most beautiful woman--
7
00:00:22,289 --> 00:00:24,722
What the hell
Am I doing?!
8
00:00:30,231 --> 00:00:33,365
Oh...Oh, sally...
I've gotta tell you
9
00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:36,635
That this is
The best relationship
I've ever been in.
10
00:00:36,637 --> 00:00:41,139
Oh, wow, don...
That is so...
11
00:00:44,144 --> 00:00:45,343
So...
12
00:00:47,581 --> 00:00:49,581
Wow.
13
00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:51,316
What's the matter?
14
00:00:51,318 --> 00:00:54,987
Nothing. I guess I
Just never thought
15
00:00:54,989 --> 00:00:58,323
About you having
Another relationship
Before.
16
00:00:58,325 --> 00:01:01,726
No one can hold
A candle to you, sally.
17
00:01:03,931 --> 00:01:05,496
That's real sweet,
Don.
18
00:01:10,704 --> 00:01:13,772
Captioning made possible by
Carsey-werner productions
And the national
Broadcasting company
19
00:01:13,774 --> 00:01:16,842
Captioning performed by
The national captioning
Institute, inc.
20
00:01:16,844 --> 00:01:19,978
Public performance of captions
Prohibited without permission of
National captioning institute
21
00:01:48,274 --> 00:01:51,877
To pendelton's new dean
Of arts and sciences.
22
00:01:51,879 --> 00:01:53,044
Ohh...
23
00:01:53,046 --> 00:01:54,513
That's you, mary.
24
00:01:54,515 --> 00:01:56,781
I know.
25
00:01:56,783 --> 00:02:00,284
Now, if you wouldn't
Mind talking business
Just for a moment--
26
00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:02,387
Oh, dick, can't it
Wait until monday?
27
00:02:02,389 --> 00:02:03,722
Oh, I understand.
28
00:02:07,328 --> 00:02:09,027
On monday, I'm
Gonna be asking you
29
00:02:09,029 --> 00:02:11,029
What the school
Intends to do about
30
00:02:11,031 --> 00:02:13,097
The decaying statue
Of admiral pendelton.
31
00:02:13,099 --> 00:02:14,566
The one with
The missing arm?
32
00:02:14,568 --> 00:02:16,635
It's an eyesore.
What's going to be done?
33
00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:19,404
I want an answer,
And I want it now!
34
00:02:19,406 --> 00:02:22,741
That's what I'll be
Saying on monday.
35
00:02:22,743 --> 00:02:26,043
Dick, the university is
In a financial crunch.
36
00:02:26,045 --> 00:02:28,713
The biology lab is
Dissecting road kill.
37
00:02:28,715 --> 00:02:31,316
The statue is
Not a priority.
38
00:02:31,318 --> 00:02:34,986
Yes, well, I'll be
Interested in hearing
What you think on monday.
39
00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:35,987
Thank you,
My good man.
40
00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:37,822
Oh, no. Here,
Let me get--
41
00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:41,059
Oh, no, no,
No, no, no.
No, no, no,
No, no, no.
42
00:02:41,061 --> 00:02:43,128
This is my treat.
43
00:02:43,130 --> 00:02:44,396
Dick, I'm a dean.
44
00:02:44,398 --> 00:02:46,698
That promotion came
With a nice raise.
45
00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:49,168
Well, you're not making
Any more than me.
46
00:02:49,170 --> 00:02:50,435
A little more.
47
00:02:51,538 --> 00:02:53,205
How much more?
48
00:02:54,407 --> 00:02:55,407
A lot more.
49
00:02:55,409 --> 00:02:56,674
Really?
50
00:02:56,676 --> 00:02:59,144
Well, I don't care.
It makes no difference
To me.
51
00:02:59,146 --> 00:03:00,745
I'm the man
At this table,
52
00:03:00,747 --> 00:03:02,748
And I insist on
Paying for dinner.
53
00:03:02,750 --> 00:03:03,748
Fine.
54
00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:05,316
Oh!
55
00:03:05,318 --> 00:03:07,319
Wowsie.
56
00:03:07,321 --> 00:03:09,721
Mary, could I
Borrow $200?
57
00:03:11,291 --> 00:03:13,324
Dick, this
Is only $80.
58
00:03:13,326 --> 00:03:16,328
I know. I also want
To buy a cuisinart.
59
00:03:19,433 --> 00:03:22,033
Tommy! Tommy!
60
00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:24,636
Dubcek's grandson
Is selling lemonade
Down the street
61
00:03:24,638 --> 00:03:27,138
For 25 cents a shot.
62
00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:29,474
25 cents?
For a lousy cup
Of lemonade?
63
00:03:29,476 --> 00:03:31,876
Do you know what kind
Of markup that must be?
64
00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:33,812
This kid's gotta be
Making a fortune.
65
00:03:33,814 --> 00:03:36,948
Well, he was wearing
A digital watch.
66
00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:38,517
See?
67
00:03:38,519 --> 00:03:41,353
Well, I just found out
Something about don
I never knew.
68
00:03:41,355 --> 00:03:44,723
That his back is
Literally covered
In pimples.
69
00:03:46,526 --> 00:03:49,927
Worse. He had another
Relationship before me.
70
00:03:49,929 --> 00:03:50,996
No.
No.
71
00:03:50,998 --> 00:03:53,198
Yes!
72
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:56,334
Oh, my god, you guys...
What do you think?
73
00:03:56,336 --> 00:03:59,004
You think she's pretty?
74
00:04:00,107 --> 00:04:02,340
Tall...Blond...
75
00:04:02,342 --> 00:04:04,142
Wow. She sounds hot.
76
00:04:04,144 --> 00:04:05,143
Shut up.
77
00:04:06,679 --> 00:04:09,347
I gotta figure out
Where she works,
What she does.
78
00:04:09,349 --> 00:04:11,016
I gotta know
Everything about her.
79
00:04:11,018 --> 00:04:12,150
Why?
80
00:04:12,152 --> 00:04:14,219
'cause I don't know
Anything about her.
81
00:04:14,221 --> 00:04:15,620
Well, sally, I'm off.
82
00:04:15,622 --> 00:04:17,222
Uh, don, um...
83
00:04:17,224 --> 00:04:20,225
Thi-this table's
A little wobbly.
84
00:04:20,227 --> 00:04:26,131
Um, could I use
Your address book
To prop it up?
85
00:04:26,133 --> 00:04:28,433
Can't you just
Use a matchbook?
86
00:04:28,435 --> 00:04:30,535
I don't wanna use
A matchbook.
87
00:04:33,874 --> 00:04:38,409
I wanna use
Your widdle
Addwess book.
88
00:04:38,411 --> 00:04:41,479
Well, why didn't you
Say so to begin with?
89
00:05:10,977 --> 00:05:13,378
I'm supposed
To give you this.
90
00:05:13,380 --> 00:05:15,814
"Dr. And mrs.
Albright"?
91
00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:17,214
No, this isn't
For me.
92
00:05:17,216 --> 00:05:20,418
This is for mary
And her wife.
93
00:05:20,420 --> 00:05:22,620
I think you're mrs. Albright.
94
00:05:22,622 --> 00:05:27,292
Me? Ah, ha
Ha ha ha ha!
95
00:05:27,294 --> 00:05:28,626
Oh, that's rich!
96
00:05:28,628 --> 00:05:31,195
Wait'll mary
Hears about this.
97
00:05:31,197 --> 00:05:34,399
Ha ha ha ha
Ha ha ha ha!
98
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:38,302
Right over your heads.
99
00:05:38,304 --> 00:05:40,972
Mary! Mary!
100
00:05:40,974 --> 00:05:43,307
Mary--ha ha ha!
101
00:05:43,309 --> 00:05:46,878
Look at this invitation.
It's hilarious!
102
00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:48,112
It's a typo.
103
00:05:48,114 --> 00:05:50,716
Yes! Ha ha ha!
104
00:05:50,718 --> 00:05:53,719
Dick, I've been
Meaning to talk
To you about this.
105
00:05:53,721 --> 00:05:56,922
Now, you're going
To be on my arm
At this event,
106
00:05:56,924 --> 00:05:59,257
So I want you
To look your best.
107
00:05:59,259 --> 00:06:01,860
So, here, take
My credit card
108
00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:04,596
And go out
And buy yourself
A nice outfit.
109
00:06:04,598 --> 00:06:06,198
How much can I spend?
110
00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:07,332
Whatever.
111
00:06:07,334 --> 00:06:10,535
What if I find a belt
That goes with my socks?
112
00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:11,837
Fine.
113
00:06:11,839 --> 00:06:13,538
Can I buy a cuisinart?
114
00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:15,240
You already bought
A cuisinart.
115
00:06:15,242 --> 00:06:17,508
Er...Somebody
Put pencils in it.
116
00:06:24,317 --> 00:06:29,087
Hi. I'm calling on behalf of
J.D. Power and associates.
117
00:06:29,089 --> 00:06:32,657
How many licensed drivers do
You have in your household?
118
00:06:32,659 --> 00:06:38,163
Mm-hmm. And how many have
Dated police officers?
119
00:06:38,165 --> 00:06:42,267
Your old roommate did.
Ok, can you describe him?
120
00:06:42,269 --> 00:06:46,671
"Used to sneak home
During the shift." uh-huh...
121
00:06:46,673 --> 00:06:50,675
"Stripped to his
Underwear." right...
122
00:06:52,345 --> 00:06:54,179
And watch his soap opera?
123
00:06:55,515 --> 00:06:58,316
the bold and the beautiful?
124
00:06:58,318 --> 00:07:00,552
I am in business!
125
00:07:06,859 --> 00:07:08,526
Hi. Can I help you?
126
00:07:08,528 --> 00:07:09,627
Are you tina?
127
00:07:09,629 --> 00:07:11,196
No.
Go away.
128
00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:13,565
Hi. I'm tina.
129
00:07:13,567 --> 00:07:15,099
Were you looking
For a crockpot?
130
00:07:15,101 --> 00:07:16,834
You're tina?
Yeah.
131
00:07:16,836 --> 00:07:17,835
Have you looked
At this one?
132
00:07:17,837 --> 00:07:19,170
Thank you, god.
133
00:07:21,207 --> 00:07:23,875
I am so much hotter
Than you!
134
00:07:25,178 --> 00:07:26,177
Thank you!
135
00:07:29,082 --> 00:07:31,149
Hey, hello, there.
136
00:07:31,151 --> 00:07:33,184
Well, if it isn't
Chancellor stevens.
137
00:07:33,186 --> 00:07:36,221
Dean albright,
Hello.
138
00:07:36,223 --> 00:07:37,722
Chancellor, it's
Good to see you.
139
00:07:37,724 --> 00:07:39,224
Tell me, mary,
140
00:07:39,226 --> 00:07:41,559
I heard you had a most
Promising meeting
141
00:07:41,561 --> 00:07:43,060
With professor gollin.
142
00:07:43,062 --> 00:07:44,395
I think it went well.
Keep your fingers crossed.
143
00:07:44,397 --> 00:07:45,663
[clears throat]
144
00:07:45,665 --> 00:07:47,131
He's an interesting man.
145
00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:49,233
You've read his paper
On ethnobotany?
146
00:07:49,235 --> 00:07:50,568
[clears throat]
147
00:07:50,570 --> 00:07:52,937
I've just started it,
But it's fascinating.
148
00:07:52,939 --> 00:07:54,706
[clears throat]
149
00:07:54,708 --> 00:07:56,575
[hawking loudly]
150
00:08:00,580 --> 00:08:02,580
Hello.
151
00:08:02,582 --> 00:08:05,283
I'm sorry. This is
My boyfriend dick.
152
00:08:05,285 --> 00:08:06,851
Nice to meet you.
153
00:08:06,853 --> 00:08:07,985
Actually,
I'm a physics--
154
00:08:07,987 --> 00:08:10,921
You made a great end-around
On the subcommittee.
155
00:08:10,923 --> 00:08:12,056
Oh, that.
156
00:08:12,058 --> 00:08:13,824
It turns out it was
Professor briggs
157
00:08:13,826 --> 00:08:15,260
That was creating
The logjam.
158
00:08:15,262 --> 00:08:16,427
You know, I find--
How'd you do it?
159
00:08:16,429 --> 00:08:17,928
I just dangled
That arts grant
In front of him.
160
00:08:17,930 --> 00:08:18,929
The interesting--
161
00:08:18,931 --> 00:08:20,465
The arts grant is
A mighty big carrot.
162
00:08:20,467 --> 00:08:21,899
It sure is.
163
00:08:21,901 --> 00:08:23,434
Carrots--
And then?
164
00:08:23,436 --> 00:08:24,702
I--
Oh, it's just
Wait and see.
165
00:08:24,704 --> 00:08:26,271
Carrots--
Yes, I suppose.
166
00:08:26,273 --> 00:08:28,105
How, uh...If--
167
00:08:28,107 --> 00:08:29,106
Drink?
168
00:08:29,108 --> 00:08:30,041
Carrots--
Sure.
169
00:08:30,043 --> 00:08:31,042
I--
170
00:08:31,044 --> 00:08:32,977
Bye.
171
00:08:32,979 --> 00:08:35,680
Hello. I'm dean
Guthridge's wife.
172
00:08:35,682 --> 00:08:37,715
And I'm dean
Smith's wife.
173
00:08:37,717 --> 00:08:39,551
Hi. I'm dean albright's
Wife.
174
00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:47,759
Harry, is it
Really necessary
175
00:08:47,761 --> 00:08:49,393
That I wear
A blindfold?
176
00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:56,100
Tommy, it's a blind
Taste test. Ok?
177
00:08:56,102 --> 00:08:58,169
Now, if we're gonna be
In the lemonade game,
178
00:08:58,171 --> 00:09:00,438
We've gotta have
A competitive product.
179
00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:02,874
Now, which one
Tastes better?
180
00:09:05,612 --> 00:09:07,278
Well, this one's
A little bland.
181
00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:08,779
A little bland.
182
00:09:11,084 --> 00:09:13,017
Ok. This one's
Root beer.
183
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:16,554
You guys!
184
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:17,755
I saw her!
I saw her!
185
00:09:17,757 --> 00:09:18,856
You saw tina?
186
00:09:18,858 --> 00:09:20,691
Yes, and I'm so much
Hotter than she is,
187
00:09:20,693 --> 00:09:22,460
It's not even funny.
188
00:09:22,462 --> 00:09:23,928
Good. Good for you.
189
00:09:23,930 --> 00:09:25,230
And you know what
The best part is?
190
00:09:25,232 --> 00:09:26,932
What?
191
00:09:26,934 --> 00:09:28,599
Well, that is
The best part.
192
00:09:28,601 --> 00:09:30,502
You know, I wonder what
Don ever saw in her
193
00:09:30,504 --> 00:09:31,970
In the first place.
194
00:09:31,972 --> 00:09:35,039
Ah, well, you got--
195
00:09:35,041 --> 00:09:38,143
Well, I mean, it--
196
00:09:38,145 --> 00:09:39,377
Obviously--
197
00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:43,815
Yeah, what could it be?
198
00:09:43,817 --> 00:09:46,084
What difference
Does it make?
199
00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:47,985
I mean, you're
Not in competition
With this person.
200
00:09:47,987 --> 00:09:51,022
Of course I'm in competition
With her, tommy.
201
00:09:51,024 --> 00:09:52,824
She's his ex-girlfriend.
202
00:09:52,826 --> 00:09:53,825
Yeah. ex.
203
00:09:53,827 --> 00:09:55,259
Why am I even
Talking to you?
204
00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:56,794
You're not a woman.
205
00:09:56,796 --> 00:09:58,295
Ooch! That's gotta hurt.
206
00:09:58,297 --> 00:10:00,732
I mean, what does
This tina have
That I don't?
207
00:10:00,734 --> 00:10:04,135
Her back is literally
Covered in pimples.
208
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:09,741
I gotta figure out what
I'm up against here.
209
00:10:09,743 --> 00:10:11,676
I'm gonna go buy
That crockpot.
210
00:10:11,678 --> 00:10:12,877
We have a crockpot.
211
00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:20,885
We just lost
One crockpot
212
00:10:20,887 --> 00:10:22,820
And gained
One crackpot.
213
00:10:23,824 --> 00:10:25,790
I see what you did there.
214
00:10:31,331 --> 00:10:32,697
Hi, dick.
215
00:10:32,699 --> 00:10:33,964
Dean albright.
216
00:10:35,935 --> 00:10:37,702
Tonight was fun,
Wasn't it?
217
00:10:37,704 --> 00:10:39,837
Boy, if this is
What it's like
Being dean,
218
00:10:39,839 --> 00:10:42,640
I say bring it on!
219
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:45,743
I'm sleepy.
220
00:10:45,745 --> 00:10:47,045
What's wrong?
221
00:10:47,047 --> 00:10:50,415
Well, if you don't know,
I'm not gonna tell you.
222
00:10:50,417 --> 00:10:52,717
It was the party,
Wasn't it?
223
00:10:52,719 --> 00:10:55,320
I'm closing my eyes now.
224
00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:57,589
Oh. Ok.
225
00:11:00,427 --> 00:11:02,260
Come on,
Professor solomon.
226
00:11:02,262 --> 00:11:03,694
Teach me a lesson.
227
00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:09,934
No.
228
00:11:09,936 --> 00:11:13,605
Ok. If you're not
Going to give it to me,
229
00:11:13,607 --> 00:11:15,707
I'm gonna come
Over there and get it.
230
00:11:17,043 --> 00:11:18,776
Fine!
231
00:11:18,778 --> 00:11:20,277
Just make it quick.
232
00:11:23,849 --> 00:11:25,349
Dick, I'm sorry.
233
00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:28,553
I know
I've been a little
Self-involved lately,
234
00:11:28,555 --> 00:11:29,954
But you've got to admit
I've been busy.
235
00:11:29,956 --> 00:11:31,422
Busy doing what?
236
00:11:31,424 --> 00:11:32,757
Well...
237
00:11:32,759 --> 00:11:35,426
Thinking about
That idea of yours
238
00:11:35,428 --> 00:11:37,461
About restoring
The statue.
239
00:11:37,463 --> 00:11:39,430
I thought we didn't
Have enough money.
240
00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:42,333
Well, you're just gonna
Have to raise the money.
241
00:11:42,335 --> 00:11:43,501
A fund-raiser!
242
00:11:43,503 --> 00:11:45,636
That will be
Your project.
243
00:11:45,638 --> 00:11:47,504
Mary, you mean it?
244
00:11:47,506 --> 00:11:48,672
Yes, dick.
245
00:11:48,674 --> 00:11:50,174
Oh, thanks, mary.
246
00:11:50,176 --> 00:11:51,175
Thank you.
247
00:11:51,177 --> 00:11:55,113
Oh, I can see it now,
All restored,
248
00:11:55,115 --> 00:11:57,314
The majestic image
Of admiral pendelton
249
00:11:57,316 --> 00:11:59,316
Riding his wife
Into battle.
250
00:12:03,689 --> 00:12:05,890
That's his horse.
251
00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:07,158
Ah.
252
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:12,163
That does make
More sense.
253
00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:15,233
So I'm racking
My brain--
254
00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:17,668
What's a fresh, fun new
Way to raise $10,000?
255
00:12:17,670 --> 00:12:18,836
Something crazy,
256
00:12:18,838 --> 00:12:21,973
But makes perfect sense
All at once.
257
00:12:21,975 --> 00:12:23,674
And I'm walking by
Fashions by pepe,
258
00:12:23,676 --> 00:12:25,176
And it hits me like
A cape to the throat--
259
00:12:25,178 --> 00:12:26,911
Fashion show.
260
00:12:30,950 --> 00:12:32,250
Fashion show.
261
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:34,252
Hot winter nights.
262
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:35,486
That's the theme.
263
00:12:35,488 --> 00:12:37,989
For the...Fashion show.
264
00:12:37,991 --> 00:12:38,990
Yeah.
265
00:12:38,992 --> 00:12:40,491
Now help me out.
266
00:12:40,493 --> 00:12:43,561
Ticket prices--
I was thinking $50
267
00:12:43,563 --> 00:12:44,696
For seats
By the runway.
268
00:12:44,698 --> 00:12:47,231
You know, for the
Mickey rourke types.
269
00:12:47,233 --> 00:12:49,433
I wish I was going to be
In town that weekend.
270
00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:51,002
When is it?
271
00:12:51,004 --> 00:12:52,503
Oh, good.
Dean albright,
272
00:12:52,505 --> 00:12:54,672
Dick was just
Telling us this idea--
273
00:12:54,674 --> 00:12:56,974
Oh, he told you about
The fashion show.
274
00:12:56,976 --> 00:12:59,510
He told us
All about it.
275
00:12:59,512 --> 00:13:01,145
Isn't it great?
276
00:13:01,147 --> 00:13:02,981
Fabulous!
Count me in!
277
00:13:02,983 --> 00:13:03,982
Just great!
278
00:13:03,984 --> 00:13:05,149
Hot winter nights.
279
00:13:05,151 --> 00:13:06,717
Where did you come up
With the idea?
280
00:13:06,719 --> 00:13:07,919
Right here.
281
00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:15,693
Tina, hi.
Remember me?
282
00:13:15,695 --> 00:13:18,196
You're the one
Who said I wasn't
Half as hot as you are.
283
00:13:18,198 --> 00:13:19,164
Yeah, right. That's me.
284
00:13:19,166 --> 00:13:20,698
Anyway, I'm back
For that crockpot.
285
00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:22,333
Oh, sure. Yeah,
They're right over here.
286
00:13:26,839 --> 00:13:28,239
Oh. Those are
Nice shoes.
287
00:13:28,241 --> 00:13:29,674
Oh, thanks.
I just got them.
288
00:13:29,676 --> 00:13:30,808
They're frank ross.
289
00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:32,943
Frank ross.
You must be loaded.
290
00:13:32,945 --> 00:13:34,411
Loaded? No, no.
291
00:13:34,413 --> 00:13:36,114
Well, then where'd
You get the cash
To pay for them?
292
00:13:36,116 --> 00:13:37,681
Credit card.
293
00:13:37,683 --> 00:13:39,917
You have a credit card.
Oh, my god.
294
00:13:39,919 --> 00:13:43,687
Anyway, these crockpots
Are so easy to use.
295
00:13:43,689 --> 00:13:45,423
They're all I cooked with
When I was in college.
296
00:13:45,425 --> 00:13:46,657
She went to college.
297
00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:48,426
You set the timer,
Go out,
298
00:13:48,428 --> 00:13:49,960
And the food's ready
When you come back.
299
00:13:49,962 --> 00:13:52,363
Come back from where?
I--I don't know.
300
00:13:52,365 --> 00:13:54,032
Tennis? Is that
Where you go?
301
00:13:54,034 --> 00:13:57,235
To play tennis--
With the balls
And the rackets,
302
00:13:57,237 --> 00:13:58,903
Like some expert
Tennis player?
303
00:13:58,905 --> 00:14:00,437
Miss, is everything ok?
304
00:14:00,439 --> 00:14:02,206
Oh, yeah,
Everything's great,
305
00:14:02,208 --> 00:14:03,941
Except you're ruining
My relationship
With don.
306
00:14:03,943 --> 00:14:05,576
Don?
Yeah, lady!
307
00:14:05,578 --> 00:14:06,877
Don orville.
308
00:14:06,879 --> 00:14:09,380
We've been going out
For over a year,
309
00:14:09,382 --> 00:14:10,848
And all of a sudden
Your name comes up.
310
00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:12,650
And what are you
Trying to do to us?
311
00:14:12,652 --> 00:14:15,352
Look, I was only with don
For 6 months.
312
00:14:15,354 --> 00:14:16,754
And 2 weeks after
We broke up,
313
00:14:16,756 --> 00:14:17,955
He was already going out
With cheryl fassler
314
00:14:17,957 --> 00:14:19,957
And laura brockman
After that--
315
00:14:19,959 --> 00:14:21,292
Wait, wait, wait,
Wait, wait, wait.
316
00:14:21,294 --> 00:14:22,794
Wait, wait, wait,
Wait, wait, wait.
317
00:14:22,796 --> 00:14:24,695
Wait, wait, wait,
Wait, wait, wait.
318
00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:26,798
Wait, wait...
319
00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:28,565
Wait.
320
00:14:30,536 --> 00:14:32,337
There were others?
321
00:14:47,454 --> 00:14:49,354
Well, I think
We should expand.
322
00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:52,623
Expand.
323
00:14:52,625 --> 00:14:54,125
Are you out
Of your mind?
324
00:14:54,127 --> 00:14:55,293
We haven't
Sold a cup.
325
00:14:55,295 --> 00:14:57,261
Well, wait till we get
To the big cities.
326
00:14:57,263 --> 00:15:01,165
That's where
The thirsty people are.
327
00:15:01,167 --> 00:15:02,566
You are a meathead.
328
00:15:04,337 --> 00:15:05,336
Lemonade.
329
00:15:06,339 --> 00:15:08,940
Ooh! Lemonade?
330
00:15:08,942 --> 00:15:10,107
You know,
331
00:15:10,109 --> 00:15:11,742
When little kids
Sell lemonade,
332
00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:12,877
It's cute.
333
00:15:12,879 --> 00:15:15,746
But when grown men
Sell lemonade,
334
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:17,448
It's creepy.
335
00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:20,585
What?
336
00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:22,152
Quit selling lemonade.
337
00:15:22,154 --> 00:15:24,889
You're creeping out
The whole neighborhood.
338
00:15:27,293 --> 00:15:28,993
Well, she's the meathead.
339
00:15:30,663 --> 00:15:31,728
No, harry.
340
00:15:31,730 --> 00:15:32,997
No. She's right.
341
00:15:32,999 --> 00:15:34,331
I mean, come on,
Look at us.
342
00:15:34,333 --> 00:15:35,966
We are disgusting.
343
00:15:37,303 --> 00:15:39,237
I'm through.
344
00:15:39,239 --> 00:15:40,905
Yecch.
345
00:15:40,907 --> 00:15:42,039
Well--
346
00:15:42,041 --> 00:15:43,808
Oh, well,
That's just fine.
347
00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:46,611
You just go home, tommy.
348
00:15:46,613 --> 00:15:48,212
It doesn't matter to me.
349
00:15:48,214 --> 00:15:50,047
I'll just stay here
All day,
350
00:15:50,049 --> 00:15:51,482
Hold down the fort.
351
00:15:53,252 --> 00:15:55,052
Ahh.
352
00:15:55,054 --> 00:15:56,387
Root beer.
353
00:15:58,891 --> 00:16:01,192
Thank you, kitty.
354
00:16:02,695 --> 00:16:03,694
Next up,
355
00:16:03,696 --> 00:16:06,196
We have charlene...
356
00:16:06,198 --> 00:16:10,234
In a sassy cardigan
357
00:16:10,236 --> 00:16:13,237
And flirty plaid
Knee-length skirt.
358
00:16:13,239 --> 00:16:15,039
Town or country,
359
00:16:15,041 --> 00:16:15,907
She's ready to play.
360
00:16:15,909 --> 00:16:18,910
She shoots, she scores.
361
00:16:18,912 --> 00:16:20,244
Number 8
On your program.
362
00:16:20,246 --> 00:16:21,345
This one's
Gonna go fast.
363
00:16:21,347 --> 00:16:24,215
Thank you, charlene.
364
00:16:26,418 --> 00:16:28,085
Here comes ginny.
365
00:16:28,087 --> 00:16:32,022
Say, ginny, what's
Underneath the parka?
366
00:16:32,024 --> 00:16:33,791
Hey.
367
00:16:33,793 --> 00:16:35,660
It's a smart french
Terry pullover
368
00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:38,395
And some snugly leggings.
369
00:16:40,332 --> 00:16:42,266
Her husband
May be a trustee,
370
00:16:42,268 --> 00:16:44,535
But you can't
Trust her.
371
00:16:44,537 --> 00:16:47,071
You're dangerous, ginny.
372
00:16:47,073 --> 00:16:48,372
You're dangerous--
373
00:16:48,374 --> 00:16:50,408
In fashions by pepe.
374
00:16:52,278 --> 00:16:54,278
Come on out, betty.
375
00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:56,580
[laughter]
376
00:16:56,582 --> 00:16:59,683
That is sick!
377
00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:00,818
Ok. All right,
All right.
378
00:17:00,820 --> 00:17:02,186
Wait, wait.
So, laura,
379
00:17:02,188 --> 00:17:04,521
You were with don
From '92 to '93.
380
00:17:04,523 --> 00:17:06,056
And then, cheryl,
381
00:17:06,058 --> 00:17:08,192
You were with him
The summer of '95.
382
00:17:08,194 --> 00:17:10,761
But, uh, there's still
This gap here in '94.
383
00:17:10,763 --> 00:17:14,165
Oh! That's when he
Had the ponytail.
384
00:17:16,269 --> 00:17:18,836
I remember
One night,
Me and dingo--
385
00:17:18,838 --> 00:17:20,571
Oh, that's what
I used to call him.
386
00:17:20,573 --> 00:17:22,006
Dingo.
387
00:17:22,008 --> 00:17:24,909
He does look like
A dingo!
388
00:17:24,911 --> 00:17:26,377
Oh, my god!
389
00:17:29,282 --> 00:17:30,481
Ladies.
390
00:17:30,483 --> 00:17:33,350
Sally, have you found
A clip of 9mm ammo?
391
00:17:33,352 --> 00:17:34,518
I was looking at--
392
00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:36,820
Gah! Jeez! Doh!
393
00:17:36,822 --> 00:17:37,922
[sputtering]
394
00:17:41,427 --> 00:17:44,395
Hi, don. We were just
Talking about you.
395
00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:46,497
Hey, recognize anybody?
396
00:17:46,499 --> 00:17:48,165
Yes.
397
00:17:48,167 --> 00:17:50,133
Ye-yes.
398
00:17:50,135 --> 00:17:53,470
I--I recognize
Everybody.
399
00:17:53,472 --> 00:17:54,705
Hello, ladies.
400
00:17:54,707 --> 00:17:57,108
Hey, don.
Hi, don.
Hi, don.
401
00:17:57,110 --> 00:17:59,210
Sally, can I talk
To you for a sec?
402
00:17:59,212 --> 00:18:01,278
Oh, sure, sweetie.
403
00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:02,580
He squints when
He's nervous.
404
00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:03,514
Am I right?
405
00:18:03,516 --> 00:18:04,548
Don: sally!
406
00:18:04,550 --> 00:18:06,083
Oh. Coming.
407
00:18:08,988 --> 00:18:10,154
What's up?
408
00:18:10,156 --> 00:18:12,656
Why are all my old
Girlfriends here?
409
00:18:12,658 --> 00:18:15,059
Sweetie, look...
410
00:18:15,061 --> 00:18:17,027
I lost it
When I found out
411
00:18:17,029 --> 00:18:18,396
You had relationships
Before me.
412
00:18:18,398 --> 00:18:20,064
But now that
I've met them all,
413
00:18:20,066 --> 00:18:22,266
I'm cool with it.
414
00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:23,234
That's great, sally.
415
00:18:23,236 --> 00:18:25,336
I know how you got
Together with them,
416
00:18:25,338 --> 00:18:26,870
I know what you did
With them,
417
00:18:26,872 --> 00:18:29,239
And I know
Why you broke up.
That's nice.
418
00:18:29,241 --> 00:18:30,541
I know
Where you've been,
I know what you've had,
419
00:18:30,543 --> 00:18:32,910
And I know how
You got rid of it.
420
00:18:32,912 --> 00:18:34,011
Ok!
421
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:40,517
Ok. I'm--I'm glad
You feel better.
422
00:18:40,519 --> 00:18:41,952
I do, don.
423
00:18:43,356 --> 00:18:45,223
I really do.
424
00:18:45,225 --> 00:18:47,358
Oh, sally.
425
00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:49,060
Oh, dingo.
426
00:18:51,030 --> 00:18:52,529
Ruff!
427
00:18:52,531 --> 00:18:54,531
Grr!
428
00:19:01,975 --> 00:19:03,574
Here's the man
Of the hour!
429
00:19:03,576 --> 00:19:04,642
Oh!
430
00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:06,310
Thank you, mary.
Thank you. Oh!
431
00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:07,845
And thank god it's over!
432
00:19:07,847 --> 00:19:11,081
Nina, how did we do?
433
00:19:11,083 --> 00:19:15,019
Let's see. Subtracting
For the caterer, the dj,
434
00:19:15,021 --> 00:19:18,689
And betty walking off
With the wedding gown...
435
00:19:18,691 --> 00:19:22,360
We made $104.
436
00:19:22,362 --> 00:19:25,363
You mean
104 million dollars.
437
00:19:25,365 --> 00:19:28,299
No. 104 dollars dollars.
438
00:19:28,301 --> 00:19:30,801
What, that's all?
After all that?!
439
00:19:30,803 --> 00:19:31,769
It's a great start, dick.
440
00:19:31,771 --> 00:19:32,770
You should be proud.
441
00:19:32,772 --> 00:19:33,771
Of what?!
442
00:19:33,773 --> 00:19:35,973
$104?!
443
00:19:35,975 --> 00:19:38,675
That won't buy
Admiral pendelton an arm!
444
00:19:38,677 --> 00:19:44,215
That won't even pay to
Pressure-wash the bird crap
Off his wife!
445
00:19:44,217 --> 00:19:46,616
Still...What a night.
446
00:19:46,618 --> 00:19:48,819
The gala event
Of the season.
447
00:19:48,821 --> 00:19:53,724
This?! 12 professor's
Wives trudging down
A makeshift runway
448
00:19:53,726 --> 00:19:57,061
In poly blends
And support hose?!
449
00:19:57,063 --> 00:19:59,230
The rumaki
Was delicious.
450
00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:05,869
What's going on?
451
00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:08,306
Why am I being treated
Like this?
452
00:20:08,308 --> 00:20:10,507
Whenever I've done something
Stupid or foolish,
453
00:20:10,509 --> 00:20:13,577
You've always been there
To ridicule me for it.
454
00:20:13,579 --> 00:20:14,645
What's changed?!
455
00:20:14,647 --> 00:20:17,281
I--I think everyone
Had a lovely time.
456
00:20:17,283 --> 00:20:18,749
I know I did.
457
00:20:21,854 --> 00:20:22,920
You!
458
00:20:22,922 --> 00:20:24,522
What?!
459
00:20:24,524 --> 00:20:26,857
You're the reason
They're all being
So nice!
460
00:20:26,859 --> 00:20:29,827
They're kissing up to me
Because I'm the dean's
Boyfriend, aren't you?!
461
00:20:29,829 --> 00:20:30,861
Oh, pshaw!
462
00:20:30,863 --> 00:20:32,329
Well,
I'm more than that!
463
00:20:32,331 --> 00:20:34,331
I have my own identity!
464
00:20:34,333 --> 00:20:36,434
I'm dick solomon,
Damn it!
465
00:20:36,436 --> 00:20:39,303
And I demand
To be condemned
For my failures!
466
00:20:39,305 --> 00:20:42,072
And this, this wasn't
Just a failure.
467
00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:44,808
This was
A towering fiasco!
468
00:20:44,810 --> 00:20:47,043
So if any of you
Respects me as a person,
469
00:20:47,045 --> 00:20:48,812
You will stand up,
Come forward,
470
00:20:48,814 --> 00:20:52,215
And ridicule me
For the idiot that I am!
471
00:20:52,217 --> 00:20:55,052
Do it, damn it!
Call me an idiot!
472
00:20:59,458 --> 00:21:01,392
I think you better
Call him an idiot.
473
00:21:01,394 --> 00:21:02,826
You're an idiot!
474
00:21:02,828 --> 00:21:04,761
A colossal idiot!
475
00:21:04,763 --> 00:21:06,430
Thank you, judith.
476
00:21:06,432 --> 00:21:07,932
Vincent, thank you.
477
00:21:07,934 --> 00:21:10,901
And you, mary...
478
00:21:10,903 --> 00:21:13,704
You...Most of all.
479
00:21:13,706 --> 00:21:16,173
If you don't,
I will.
480
00:21:18,177 --> 00:21:19,843
Ok, dick.
481
00:21:19,845 --> 00:21:22,446
You're a big,
Fat, bumbling,
482
00:21:22,448 --> 00:21:26,450
Oblivious, pepe-wearing,
Mega-idiot!
483
00:21:26,452 --> 00:21:28,552
Oh, thank you, mary!
484
00:21:29,788 --> 00:21:37,227
I love you, too.
485
00:21:39,666 --> 00:21:40,597
Dr. Solomon.
486
00:21:40,599 --> 00:21:41,799
Yes, lucy.
487
00:21:41,801 --> 00:21:45,469
I just wanted to tell you,
You're an idiot.
488
00:21:45,471 --> 00:21:48,072
Thank you, lucy,
But that's really
Not necessary.
489
00:21:48,074 --> 00:21:51,442
No. I really
Wanted you to know.
You're an idiot.
490
00:21:51,444 --> 00:21:55,979
Look, I've really
Gotten over that whole
Fashion show debacle.
491
00:21:55,981 --> 00:21:58,014
But...Thank you.
492
00:21:58,016 --> 00:21:59,383
What fashion show?
493
00:22:00,953 --> 00:22:03,353
Idiot.
34982
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