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1
00:00:03,971 --> 00:00:05,803
Greg gumbel: welcome back
To san diego, everyone,
2
00:00:05,805 --> 00:00:07,172
The site of
Super bowl xxxii,
3
00:00:07,174 --> 00:00:09,841
Won by the denver broncos
31-24.
4
00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:11,709
Terrell davis,
The most valuable--
5
00:00:11,711 --> 00:00:13,211
Run for your lives!
6
00:00:13,213 --> 00:00:14,813
The big women are angry!
7
00:00:14,815 --> 00:00:16,681
Save yourselves
While there's still time!
8
00:00:16,683 --> 00:00:18,483
Security!
I need security!
9
00:00:18,485 --> 00:00:19,517
No! I'm trying
To warn you!
10
00:00:19,519 --> 00:00:20,518
They're already here!
11
00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:22,254
They're ready
To take over!
12
00:00:22,256 --> 00:00:26,524
Dick, narrating:
How did it happen?
It began so innocently.
13
00:00:26,526 --> 00:00:28,093
It was a day
Like any other.
14
00:00:28,095 --> 00:00:29,661
I can still remember.
15
00:00:29,663 --> 00:00:32,331
I was teaching
A class in physics.
16
00:00:32,333 --> 00:00:33,966
High commander's log,
17
00:00:33,968 --> 00:00:36,835
January 12,
Earth year 1998.
18
00:00:36,837 --> 00:00:38,536
There are
Some new students
19
00:00:38,538 --> 00:00:40,005
In my class today.
20
00:00:40,007 --> 00:00:41,840
I usually don't
Allow students
21
00:00:41,842 --> 00:00:43,709
To join my class
Mid-semester,
22
00:00:43,711 --> 00:00:45,376
But I made an exception
This time
23
00:00:45,378 --> 00:00:47,746
Because they walked in
And sat down.
24
00:00:49,449 --> 00:00:52,317
Kepler's third law
States what? Class?
25
00:00:52,319 --> 00:00:55,453
A body in motion
Tends to...
26
00:00:55,455 --> 00:00:58,223
Stay in motion.
27
00:00:58,225 --> 00:01:00,925
No, no. Bug, I'm looking
For a planetary law.
28
00:01:00,927 --> 00:01:02,361
Yeah, planets,
You know,
29
00:01:02,363 --> 00:01:04,395
Heavenly bodies?
30
00:01:04,397 --> 00:01:06,932
Kepler's third law.
Anybody.
31
00:01:08,602 --> 00:01:11,470
The square of
A planet's period of orbit
32
00:01:11,472 --> 00:01:14,473
Is proportional
To the cube of
Its average distance
33
00:01:14,475 --> 00:01:15,474
From the sun.
34
00:01:15,476 --> 00:01:18,643
Th-th-that--that's
Very good, uh...
35
00:01:18,645 --> 00:01:20,545
Gabriella.
36
00:01:20,547 --> 00:01:21,713
Gabriella.
37
00:01:21,715 --> 00:01:23,048
[bell rings]
38
00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:29,354
So, uh, you want to
Orbit around my planet?
39
00:01:29,356 --> 00:01:30,722
You know what I mean?
40
00:01:30,724 --> 00:01:32,257
Yes, I do, and...
41
00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:33,525
Yes, I would.
42
00:01:33,527 --> 00:01:34,526
You would?
43
00:01:34,528 --> 00:01:37,262
Are you sure
You know what I mean?
44
00:01:37,264 --> 00:01:38,763
Absolutely.
45
00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:41,300
Ohhhh!
46
00:01:41,302 --> 00:01:43,268
Dr. Solomon?
47
00:01:43,270 --> 00:01:45,603
Gabriella, it was
A pleasure to have
You in class.
48
00:01:45,605 --> 00:01:48,540
I don't know much
About science,
49
00:01:48,542 --> 00:01:50,942
But you are
Such a good teacher.
50
00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:54,012
Oh, sure.
That's what I do.
51
00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:59,250
Hi. Who's
Under the dryer?
52
00:01:59,252 --> 00:02:01,653
Fast eddie's
Appliance repair.
53
00:02:01,655 --> 00:02:03,621
Make sure you
Get the guarantee.
54
00:02:03,623 --> 00:02:04,723
Ok.
55
00:02:04,725 --> 00:02:06,324
So, uh, eddie,
56
00:02:06,326 --> 00:02:07,525
You want a soda
Or something?
57
00:02:07,527 --> 00:02:09,795
You know, it might
Not be too cold.
58
00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:11,763
I think there's
Something wrong
With the refrigerator.
59
00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:22,240
You're not eddie.
60
00:02:23,843 --> 00:02:25,944
No. Eddie
Gave me the shop.
61
00:02:25,946 --> 00:02:27,846
Why?
62
00:02:27,848 --> 00:02:29,881
Because I asked for it.
63
00:02:29,883 --> 00:02:32,317
Reasonable.
64
00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:33,485
So, uh...
65
00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:34,953
Would you
Like a soda?
66
00:02:34,955 --> 00:02:36,989
Thanks.
67
00:02:36,991 --> 00:02:39,091
I like it when
Men give me things.
68
00:02:40,361 --> 00:02:41,660
Me, too.
69
00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:47,799
Sometimes the barber
Gives me a lollipop.
70
00:02:47,801 --> 00:02:49,601
Did you go
To the barber today?
71
00:02:49,603 --> 00:02:52,337
No.
72
00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:54,206
Did you?
73
00:02:54,208 --> 00:02:56,675
Yes.
74
00:03:10,390 --> 00:03:12,824
Dick: high commander's log,
January 14.
75
00:03:12,826 --> 00:03:15,593
For some reason,
The men of rutherford, ohio,
76
00:03:15,595 --> 00:03:17,829
Are in the best spirits
I've ever seen.
77
00:03:17,831 --> 00:03:19,330
As for me,
78
00:03:19,332 --> 00:03:21,833
I'm getting to know
Gabriella better.
79
00:03:33,980 --> 00:03:37,281
Dick, don't you find it
Just a little bit odd
80
00:03:37,283 --> 00:03:39,951
That a woman
That gorgeous
Likes you?
81
00:03:39,953 --> 00:03:42,387
You wouldn't
Think it was odd
If I were mick jagger.
82
00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:44,989
Yeah, but mick jagger's
Not a small-town
College professor.
83
00:03:44,991 --> 00:03:47,492
Exactly. And yet
He still gets women.
84
00:03:47,494 --> 00:03:49,794
Next time,
Try thinking before
You open your mouth.
85
00:03:49,796 --> 00:03:50,962
Dick, sally,
86
00:03:50,964 --> 00:03:53,165
I'd like you
To meet chloe.
87
00:03:53,167 --> 00:03:54,166
Dick: hi.
88
00:03:54,168 --> 00:03:55,167
Hello.
89
00:03:55,169 --> 00:03:56,768
I'm extremely
Beautiful,
90
00:03:56,770 --> 00:04:00,038
And I'm tommy's
New girlfriend.
91
00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:02,007
Wait. Is that true, tommy?
92
00:04:02,009 --> 00:04:03,007
Yes.
93
00:04:03,009 --> 00:04:04,676
And yes.
94
00:04:07,747 --> 00:04:09,047
A woman like that
Is not supposed
To be available
95
00:04:09,049 --> 00:04:10,581
To a high school kid.
96
00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:12,618
That's why we got him
A subscription to playboy.
97
00:04:12,620 --> 00:04:14,752
And now we
Can cancel it.
98
00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:15,988
Ba-bam!
99
00:04:15,990 --> 00:04:17,188
So what are you
Gonna do about it?
100
00:04:17,190 --> 00:04:18,857
Let's see.
Oh, I know.
101
00:04:18,859 --> 00:04:20,458
Enjoy the hell
Out of it.
102
00:04:20,460 --> 00:04:21,859
As you were,
Lieutenant.
103
00:04:28,135 --> 00:04:29,300
So...
104
00:04:29,302 --> 00:04:30,568
How are things?
105
00:04:30,570 --> 00:04:32,837
Ah, same old,
Same old.
106
00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:33,838
You?
107
00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:34,906
Can't complain.
108
00:04:36,143 --> 00:04:37,509
Yes!
Yes!
109
00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:17,916
Dick: high commander's log,
January 15.
110
00:05:17,918 --> 00:05:20,585
Gabriella has given me
A photo of her.
111
00:05:20,587 --> 00:05:22,220
I'm trying to determine
Which angle
112
00:05:22,222 --> 00:05:25,590
Will be most visible
To dr. Albright to best mock her
113
00:05:25,592 --> 00:05:27,326
For having
Broken up with me.
114
00:05:28,862 --> 00:05:30,862
I think that they should
Just turn the class
115
00:05:30,864 --> 00:05:32,397
Into a seminar.
116
00:05:32,399 --> 00:05:34,633
What's that, you say?
Who is this a picture of?
117
00:05:34,635 --> 00:05:35,834
What?
118
00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:37,936
Well, if you're
Going to be so nosy,
119
00:05:37,938 --> 00:05:39,570
I'll tell you.
120
00:05:39,572 --> 00:05:40,672
It just happens to be--
121
00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:41,673
Dr. Albright!
Dr. Albright, look!
122
00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:42,774
What is it?
123
00:05:42,776 --> 00:05:43,975
Tickets to
The super bowl!
124
00:05:43,977 --> 00:05:45,243
Where did these
Come from?
125
00:05:45,245 --> 00:05:47,045
Frank leggett,
Class of '94.
126
00:05:47,047 --> 00:05:48,547
Oh, my god.
127
00:05:48,549 --> 00:05:51,450
His team is playing
In the super bowl.
128
00:05:51,452 --> 00:05:53,251
Eeeee!
129
00:06:01,828 --> 00:06:03,395
Why would he send you
The tickets?
130
00:06:03,397 --> 00:06:05,597
Oh, uh, frank was having
A little trouble
131
00:06:05,599 --> 00:06:07,532
Maintaining his
Academic eligibility.
132
00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:10,168
I just gave him a little
Help and guidance.
133
00:06:10,170 --> 00:06:12,537
"Your classes
Were so easy.
134
00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:14,506
Thank you for
Letting me coast."
135
00:06:15,976 --> 00:06:17,809
He was
A brilliant student.
136
00:06:17,811 --> 00:06:19,844
He spelled easy
With a "Z."
137
00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:22,547
Oh, who cares?!
138
00:06:22,549 --> 00:06:25,183
I have 2 tickets
To the super bowl!
139
00:06:25,185 --> 00:06:27,419
So, uh, who are you
Gonna take?
140
00:06:27,421 --> 00:06:28,553
Oh.
141
00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:30,922
Ohh, um...
142
00:06:32,259 --> 00:06:34,926
Oh, I'm sorry.
I've known nina longer.
143
00:06:34,928 --> 00:06:36,061
Whoo!
144
00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:38,497
San diego,
Here I come!
145
00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:42,433
Whoo!
146
00:06:49,076 --> 00:06:51,742
Videotape for mascha.
147
00:06:51,744 --> 00:06:52,911
Take 8.
148
00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:12,230
Who's your daddy?
149
00:07:13,967 --> 00:07:17,569
You're my little
Schmoo-schmoo.
150
00:07:17,571 --> 00:07:19,270
What the hell
Are you doing?
151
00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:21,439
Oh, uh, making a tape
For mascha.
152
00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:22,741
In case
She needs a harry fix
153
00:07:22,743 --> 00:07:25,176
In the middle
Of the night.
154
00:07:25,178 --> 00:07:26,845
That's so sweet.
155
00:07:29,349 --> 00:07:30,849
Sally, look.
156
00:07:30,851 --> 00:07:33,819
Champagne and caviar
For gabriella.
157
00:07:33,821 --> 00:07:35,020
What's caviar?
158
00:07:35,022 --> 00:07:36,254
Russian fish eggs.
159
00:07:36,256 --> 00:07:37,255
Very expensive.
160
00:07:37,257 --> 00:07:38,490
Yeah, I know.
161
00:07:38,492 --> 00:07:40,192
You and tommy
Have spent a fortune
On these women.
162
00:07:40,194 --> 00:07:43,461
Look, $700 for a necklace,
$400 for earrings.
163
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:45,596
Guys, look what
I bought for chloe.
164
00:07:45,598 --> 00:07:47,499
How much did that cost?
165
00:07:47,501 --> 00:07:48,499
$50.
166
00:07:48,501 --> 00:07:49,767
$50?
167
00:07:49,769 --> 00:07:51,169
A month for
The next 16 years.
168
00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:54,005
One second.
Wait, wait, wait.
169
00:07:54,007 --> 00:07:55,339
Can somebody
Please explain to me
170
00:07:55,341 --> 00:07:57,575
Why rutherford, ohio,
171
00:07:57,577 --> 00:07:59,610
Is suddenly brimming over
With beautiful women
172
00:07:59,612 --> 00:08:02,113
Just dying
To date losers?
173
00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:03,481
Well, I'm betting it
Has something to do
174
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:05,116
With el niño.
175
00:08:13,126 --> 00:08:15,126
Hello, don.
176
00:08:15,128 --> 00:08:16,894
Yeah. Hi, sally.
177
00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:20,831
I said, "Hello, don."
178
00:08:20,833 --> 00:08:22,433
Yeah, I heard you.
179
00:08:29,242 --> 00:08:31,276
Can I buy you a coffee?
180
00:08:31,278 --> 00:08:34,879
Wait a second.
Wait. What makes you
Think you can have me?
181
00:08:34,881 --> 00:08:37,782
Look around.
Times have changed.
182
00:08:39,953 --> 00:08:41,953
I'm going to
The ladies' room.
183
00:08:41,955 --> 00:08:44,055
Anybody care
To join me?
184
00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:56,968
A sucker?
This is it?
185
00:08:56,970 --> 00:08:58,970
I'm trying. He's
Not responding right.
186
00:08:58,972 --> 00:09:00,705
Well, try harder.
187
00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:02,440
Ladies,
188
00:09:02,442 --> 00:09:08,413
We will not rest
Until we have achieved
The total world domination.
189
00:09:08,415 --> 00:09:10,315
Excuse me, but
What did you say--
190
00:09:14,688 --> 00:09:16,487
Sally: dick!
191
00:09:16,489 --> 00:09:18,456
I'm up here.
Oh, I'm silly.
192
00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:19,824
I've been looking
Everywhere for you.
193
00:09:19,826 --> 00:09:23,161
You weren't
At the school or--
Oh, hello.
194
00:09:23,163 --> 00:09:25,564
Why does your wife
Always bother us?
195
00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:29,701
No, I'm not his wife.
I'm his sister, and,
Uh, right now,
196
00:09:29,703 --> 00:09:32,237
We really need to have
A little brother/sister
Chat.
197
00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:33,738
Sally, anything
You have to say
To me
198
00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:36,441
You can say
In front of
Gabriella.
199
00:09:36,443 --> 00:09:38,275
Ok, um...
200
00:09:38,277 --> 00:09:42,279
You know those
Hemorrhoid suppositories
You always buy--
201
00:09:42,281 --> 00:09:44,949
All right,
In the kitchen!
In the kitchen!
202
00:09:44,951 --> 00:09:49,521
I'll be right back,
My perfectly symmetrical
Little snowflake.
203
00:09:49,523 --> 00:09:50,522
Mmm...
[speaking russian]
204
00:09:50,524 --> 00:09:52,090
Sally: dick!
205
00:09:53,527 --> 00:09:55,427
Hurry up!
I miss my gabby.
206
00:09:55,429 --> 00:09:57,629
I think I finally figured
Out what's going on.
207
00:09:57,631 --> 00:10:00,298
These women are
Part of some strange,
Organized coven.
208
00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:02,334
Their goal is
To dominate the world.
209
00:10:02,336 --> 00:10:04,803
I heard them, dick.
They're dangerous.
210
00:10:04,805 --> 00:10:07,738
You mean to tell me
That sizzling siberian
Sex kitten in there
211
00:10:07,740 --> 00:10:09,074
Doesn't really love me?
212
00:10:09,076 --> 00:10:10,508
No.
213
00:10:10,510 --> 00:10:12,544
But is only using me
In a plot to dominate
The whole world?
214
00:10:12,546 --> 00:10:13,611
Yes!
215
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:15,613
Ha ha ha ha ha!
216
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:18,616
That's
The most ridiculous
Thing I've ever heard.
217
00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:20,418
She's my girlfriend.
218
00:10:20,420 --> 00:10:21,653
Gabriella: dick!
219
00:10:21,655 --> 00:10:25,090
[speaking russian]
220
00:10:25,092 --> 00:10:29,094
Well, I guess
It's up to me to get
To the bottom of this.
221
00:10:29,096 --> 00:10:34,765
And if I have to smash
Dick's fantasy and leave him
A blubbering idiot,
222
00:10:34,767 --> 00:10:36,201
Then all the better.
223
00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:43,007
That...
224
00:10:43,009 --> 00:10:44,308
And that.
225
00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:46,310
Ooh!
226
00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:48,712
And this.
227
00:10:48,714 --> 00:10:49,814
I'm gonna try it on.
228
00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:50,815
Ooh, I'll help.
229
00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:52,917
No, you don't,
Bad boy.
230
00:10:52,919 --> 00:10:56,787
Why don't you go take
A marketing survey
Or something?
231
00:10:56,789 --> 00:10:58,222
What?
232
00:10:58,224 --> 00:11:00,357
Would you like to take
A marketing survey?
233
00:11:00,359 --> 00:11:01,492
Ok.
234
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:06,564
Excuse me. I can't
Seem to find my size.
235
00:11:06,566 --> 00:11:07,565
And that would be?
236
00:11:07,567 --> 00:11:08,766
An 8.
237
00:11:08,768 --> 00:11:10,368
You have 2s and 4s
238
00:11:10,370 --> 00:11:13,271
And a couple of zeros.
239
00:11:13,273 --> 00:11:16,874
Well, I'm sorry, miss,
But we don't really
Carry the plus sizes.
240
00:11:16,876 --> 00:11:20,611
Since when did 8
Become a plus size?
241
00:11:20,613 --> 00:11:22,113
In the clothing
Business,
242
00:11:22,115 --> 00:11:24,282
We have to cater
To the demands
Of the buyer.
243
00:11:24,284 --> 00:11:26,284
I've been shopping here
A long time,
244
00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:28,319
And I demand service.
245
00:11:28,321 --> 00:11:32,089
You know, hon,
It's really unattractive
When a heavy gal yells.
246
00:11:34,060 --> 00:11:36,294
So, would you
Buy this product?
247
00:11:36,296 --> 00:11:38,963
In a heartbeat.
248
00:11:38,965 --> 00:11:40,931
How much
Would you pay
For this product?
249
00:11:40,933 --> 00:11:43,968
Whatever those
Pretty ladies say.
250
00:11:43,970 --> 00:11:45,670
So, would you
Give up all
That you hold dear
251
00:11:45,672 --> 00:11:48,539
And devote your
Life to obtaining
This product?
252
00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:50,841
Sure.
253
00:11:50,843 --> 00:11:52,176
What is
This product?
254
00:11:52,178 --> 00:11:54,211
I have no idea.
255
00:11:58,584 --> 00:12:00,885
What do you see
When you look at me?
256
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:03,888
Ooh, I see someone
Who's sweet,
257
00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:05,723
Fun to be with,
258
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:07,625
Maybe a little
Insecure, but...
259
00:12:08,929 --> 00:12:10,795
I like that
About you.
260
00:12:10,797 --> 00:12:14,198
Don't you think
I'm beautiful?
261
00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:16,434
Well,
Sure, you're cute,
262
00:12:16,436 --> 00:12:17,835
Even with the mole.
263
00:12:21,507 --> 00:12:24,575
Well, then, don't you
Want to give me anything?
264
00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:26,444
Oh, of course I do.
265
00:12:26,446 --> 00:12:29,347
I want to give you
The mountains
And the river
266
00:12:29,349 --> 00:12:30,848
And the trees.
267
00:12:30,850 --> 00:12:34,018
Well, I guess
I was just hoping for
Something more like...
268
00:12:34,020 --> 00:12:36,253
Extremely
Expensive jewelry.
269
00:12:36,255 --> 00:12:37,755
Hmm?
270
00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:39,256
Ok.
271
00:12:39,258 --> 00:12:42,393
I was keeping this
For a surprise, but...
272
00:12:43,630 --> 00:12:46,731
I had the barber take
A little off the top.
273
00:12:48,234 --> 00:12:49,666
Just for you.
274
00:12:52,972 --> 00:12:56,140
Sometimes I feel
Like such a failure.
275
00:12:56,142 --> 00:12:58,042
Ooh, why?
276
00:12:58,044 --> 00:13:01,045
Harry, I have to
Tell you something.
277
00:13:01,047 --> 00:13:03,180
I'm not
From around here.
278
00:13:05,485 --> 00:13:09,053
I'm not from
Around here, either.
279
00:13:09,055 --> 00:13:11,322
I'm not
Like other women.
280
00:13:11,324 --> 00:13:14,492
I'm not like
Other guys.
281
00:13:14,494 --> 00:13:16,127
I can't tell you why.
282
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:18,897
I can't tell you
Why, either.
283
00:13:20,232 --> 00:13:21,932
We have so much
In common.
284
00:13:21,934 --> 00:13:23,701
We do.
285
00:13:35,014 --> 00:13:36,647
Sally, narrating:
Lieutenant's log.
286
00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:38,649
Yes, I have one, too.
287
00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:42,786
The coffee shop is lousy
With these leggy predators.
288
00:13:42,788 --> 00:13:45,089
I must get to the bottom
Of this at any cost.
289
00:14:06,712 --> 00:14:08,612
Prepare for contact
290
00:14:08,614 --> 00:14:10,681
With prell.
291
00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:12,749
[static]
292
00:14:12,751 --> 00:14:14,685
[tuning]
293
00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:19,357
Ladies, we have come
A long way from venus.
294
00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:21,525
I would like
To commend you all
295
00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:24,294
On your hard work
And dedication...
296
00:14:24,296 --> 00:14:27,131
In heels, I might add.
297
00:14:27,133 --> 00:14:29,334
Why did you choose
Rutherford, ohio?
298
00:14:29,336 --> 00:14:30,567
Mmm.
299
00:14:30,569 --> 00:14:33,737
Because it is
So delightfully average,
300
00:14:33,739 --> 00:14:36,340
A petri dish
Of the mundane.
301
00:14:36,342 --> 00:14:38,742
Does the experiment
Go well?
302
00:14:38,744 --> 00:14:43,080
Every man tested
Scored 100% on
The weakness scale.
303
00:14:43,082 --> 00:14:44,615
Excellent!
304
00:14:44,617 --> 00:14:49,220
Now it's time for us
To move west towards
Our final destination:
305
00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:51,088
Area 32.
306
00:14:51,090 --> 00:14:53,590
[toilet flushes]
307
00:14:53,592 --> 00:14:54,725
Search the stalls!
308
00:14:57,597 --> 00:15:02,065
Excuse me. I just, uh,
Need to wash my hands.
309
00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:03,233
Why were you
Hiding in there?
310
00:15:03,235 --> 00:15:04,234
I wasn't hiding.
311
00:15:04,236 --> 00:15:06,270
Then why weren't
Your feet visible?
312
00:15:06,272 --> 00:15:09,006
This is pretty
Embarrassing, but, um...
313
00:15:09,008 --> 00:15:13,410
Sometimes I jam my feet
Against the stall door,
314
00:15:13,412 --> 00:15:15,179
You know, for leverage.
315
00:15:16,816 --> 00:15:20,918
I haven't been eating
Enough grains lately
So it's been waaaa!
316
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:21,919
You're lying.
317
00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:23,287
Yeah, I'm lying.
318
00:15:23,289 --> 00:15:24,922
It's because
I want to join you.
319
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:25,923
Join us?
320
00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:27,424
Hmm.
321
00:15:27,426 --> 00:15:30,093
You've
Got split ends.
322
00:15:30,095 --> 00:15:32,630
No. She's tall enough,
323
00:15:32,632 --> 00:15:34,698
She's got
The bone structure.
324
00:15:34,700 --> 00:15:36,867
Perhaps we can use her,
325
00:15:36,869 --> 00:15:41,439
That is, if she can
Endure our makeover.
326
00:15:43,910 --> 00:15:46,944
[balalaika playing]
327
00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:49,013
[singing in russian]
328
00:16:09,102 --> 00:16:10,601
♪ la la la la la ♪
329
00:16:10,603 --> 00:16:12,103
♪ la la la la la ♪
330
00:16:12,105 --> 00:16:13,604
♪ la la la la la ♪
331
00:16:13,606 --> 00:16:14,605
♪ la la la la la ♪
332
00:16:14,607 --> 00:16:15,773
Rrrrrrrrrrr!
333
00:16:15,775 --> 00:16:17,108
Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy!
334
00:16:17,110 --> 00:16:18,442
♪ la la la la la ♪
335
00:16:18,444 --> 00:16:19,476
♪ la la la la la-- ♪
336
00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:22,813
Um, I just need to get
Something from my room.
337
00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:24,815
You mind if I go alone?
338
00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:26,817
Not at all.
Great.
339
00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:29,420
Ooh, mascha!
340
00:16:29,422 --> 00:16:30,821
Hello, harry.
341
00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:33,324
I didn't come
To see you.
342
00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:35,692
I came to take
Your sister...
Shopping.
343
00:16:35,694 --> 00:16:36,793
Mmm.
344
00:16:36,795 --> 00:16:39,062
Look, I know
How you like things.
345
00:16:39,064 --> 00:16:40,731
And so, um...
346
00:16:40,733 --> 00:16:43,467
I made you something.
347
00:16:44,570 --> 00:16:47,571
Not real gold,
Macaroni.
348
00:16:47,573 --> 00:16:50,174
I spray-painted it.
349
00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:54,912
This has absolutely
No market value.
350
00:16:54,914 --> 00:16:56,514
And yet...
351
00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:58,148
I'm touched.
352
00:16:59,218 --> 00:17:01,852
You're either
Really cheap
353
00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:04,521
Or really deep.
354
00:17:04,523 --> 00:17:08,425
I'd like to think
That I am both.
355
00:17:08,427 --> 00:17:11,662
I don't know why,
But I want to give you
Something, too.
356
00:17:11,664 --> 00:17:14,031
Oh, no,
You don't have to.
357
00:17:22,942 --> 00:17:24,941
I have to go now,
Harry.
358
00:17:24,943 --> 00:17:27,278
Good-bye.
359
00:17:35,121 --> 00:17:36,887
Ok, ladies,
Let's go!
360
00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:38,221
Wait, wait, wait!
Why are you leaving?
361
00:17:38,223 --> 00:17:39,323
Oh, I'm sorry, dick,
362
00:17:39,325 --> 00:17:41,725
But I've got some business
To take care of.
363
00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:43,126
Ouch!
364
00:17:43,128 --> 00:17:44,961
Sally, you can't go.
You have to make us
Dinner.
365
00:17:44,963 --> 00:17:46,963
Uh, you have to buy
Your own dinner.
366
00:17:46,965 --> 00:17:48,799
Um, here's
A grocery list.
367
00:17:48,801 --> 00:17:50,300
It's very important
That you read it
368
00:17:50,302 --> 00:17:52,636
So you know what
You have to buy.
Let's move!
369
00:17:52,638 --> 00:17:55,639
Even if you're not hungry,
It's a good read,
That grocery list.
370
00:17:55,641 --> 00:17:57,641
I heard you,
Miss pronunciation.
371
00:17:57,643 --> 00:18:00,745
Sally: the list, dick!
Read the list!
372
00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:02,946
Well, shall we
Go grocery shopping?
373
00:18:02,948 --> 00:18:04,882
No, no.
That's sally's job.
374
00:18:04,884 --> 00:18:08,752
No, I think
The most prudent thing
For us to do now
375
00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:12,957
Is just to, um,
Sit here and wait for
The girls to come back.
376
00:18:17,229 --> 00:18:20,331
Dick: high commander's log,
January 18.
377
00:18:20,333 --> 00:18:24,836
Like locusts,
They came en masse
Without warning.
378
00:18:24,838 --> 00:18:28,706
Then, in a cloud
Of sparkly powder
And perfume...
379
00:18:28,708 --> 00:18:30,475
[sighs]
[sighs]
[sighs]
380
00:18:30,477 --> 00:18:32,709
They were gone.
381
00:18:33,779 --> 00:18:34,912
Hey, guys.
382
00:18:34,914 --> 00:18:37,080
I was just wondering
Have any of you--
383
00:18:37,082 --> 00:18:39,116
No, we haven't seen
Kirsta around.
384
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:40,451
Will you
Give it a rest?
385
00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:42,619
You don't hear me
Whining on and on
About gabriella.
386
00:18:42,621 --> 00:18:44,087
Only 24 hours a day.
387
00:18:44,089 --> 00:18:46,423
Mmm, please. It's not
Like you lost mascha.
388
00:18:46,425 --> 00:18:47,758
Mascha, mascha,
Mascha.
389
00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:48,925
Why I ought to--
390
00:18:48,927 --> 00:18:50,027
Hey, hey, hey!
391
00:18:52,432 --> 00:18:54,765
Why don't we stop
Kidding ourselves?
392
00:18:54,767 --> 00:18:56,333
We knew it couldn't
Last forever.
393
00:18:56,335 --> 00:18:58,335
The thing
I most regret
394
00:18:58,337 --> 00:19:00,904
Is I didn't take
Any pictures of
Gabriella and me.
395
00:19:00,906 --> 00:19:03,074
Now no one's
Going to believe me
396
00:19:03,076 --> 00:19:05,576
When I tell them
I slept with her.
397
00:19:05,578 --> 00:19:06,743
You didn't.
398
00:19:06,745 --> 00:19:09,046
You see, it's
Started already!
399
00:19:12,518 --> 00:19:15,852
Just as I suspected.
She's a winter.
400
00:19:15,854 --> 00:19:18,688
Oh, I always
Thought I looked
Best in warmer tones.
401
00:19:18,690 --> 00:19:20,190
Oh, you were wrong.
402
00:19:20,192 --> 00:19:23,227
She has combination skin
And a dry t-zone.
403
00:19:23,229 --> 00:19:25,762
We must exfoliate.
404
00:19:25,764 --> 00:19:28,064
Uh, uh, couldn't we
Just moisturize me?
405
00:19:28,066 --> 00:19:29,232
Do you want to be
One of us or not?
406
00:19:29,234 --> 00:19:31,334
Yes, yes!
Do whatever you want!
407
00:19:31,336 --> 00:19:33,336
I need the fido bent.
408
00:19:33,338 --> 00:19:35,473
2000?
3000.
409
00:19:38,945 --> 00:19:40,110
Now open!
410
00:19:40,112 --> 00:19:43,247
Uhh! Aaah!
411
00:19:46,352 --> 00:19:47,852
Whoa, look, harry.
412
00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:49,186
It's mascha's compact.
413
00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:51,254
Ooh, let me hold it.
414
00:19:51,256 --> 00:19:56,760
Ooh, I can still
Feel the heat from
Her slender fingers.
415
00:19:56,762 --> 00:19:58,261
[static]
416
00:19:58,263 --> 00:20:02,899
Hello? Come in, sassoon.
This is prell.
417
00:20:02,901 --> 00:20:04,434
What was that?
She was hot.
418
00:20:04,436 --> 00:20:05,936
[static]
419
00:20:05,938 --> 00:20:08,672
Prell: hey, who is that?
420
00:20:08,674 --> 00:20:10,408
Oh, my god!
421
00:20:10,410 --> 00:20:12,142
Do you realize
What this is?
422
00:20:12,144 --> 00:20:17,748
It's a multiphase
Micro transmitter and
Rose-pink blush in one!
423
00:20:19,986 --> 00:20:21,986
This planet doesn't
Have that technology.
424
00:20:21,988 --> 00:20:25,489
Holy cow!
We weren't just
Dating leggy babes.
425
00:20:25,491 --> 00:20:29,660
We were dating
Leggy babes from beyond.
426
00:20:29,662 --> 00:20:31,595
Oh, my god!
427
00:20:31,597 --> 00:20:33,597
We're aliens ourselves
And they fooled us!
428
00:20:33,599 --> 00:20:35,165
What chance do
Regular humans have?
429
00:20:35,167 --> 00:20:37,133
We're such idiots!
Sally tried
To warn us.
430
00:20:37,135 --> 00:20:38,134
Where's
That shopping list?
431
00:20:38,136 --> 00:20:39,536
Oh, whoa!
Wait a second! Wait.
432
00:20:39,538 --> 00:20:41,372
I think I put it
In the trash.
433
00:20:41,374 --> 00:20:43,374
Oh, wait. Here it is.
434
00:20:43,376 --> 00:20:44,875
Oh, no!
435
00:20:44,877 --> 00:20:46,043
What?
436
00:20:46,045 --> 00:20:48,979
None of the groceries
We need are on this list.
437
00:20:48,981 --> 00:20:53,717
No, it's just some long,
Involved message about sally
Infiltrating their group
438
00:20:53,719 --> 00:20:54,885
And heading to california.
439
00:20:54,887 --> 00:20:56,120
Oh.
Oh.
440
00:20:56,122 --> 00:20:58,121
Ohh!
Ohh!
Ohh!
441
00:20:58,123 --> 00:20:59,757
She was asking
For our help,
442
00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:01,659
And we weren't
There for her.
443
00:21:01,661 --> 00:21:03,327
Oh, who knows what
They're doing to her now.
444
00:21:03,329 --> 00:21:04,829
We were sitting
On our duffs
445
00:21:04,831 --> 00:21:07,331
While
She's single-handedly
Trying to save earth!
446
00:21:07,333 --> 00:21:11,669
Earth. Maybe it isn't
The biggest planet
In the galaxy
447
00:21:11,671 --> 00:21:13,270
Or the roundest...
448
00:21:14,674 --> 00:21:17,174
But I've come to
Think of it as home.
449
00:21:17,176 --> 00:21:19,109
I was gonna
Retire here,
450
00:21:19,111 --> 00:21:21,211
You know,
In boca.
451
00:21:22,548 --> 00:21:25,382
Poor mascha,
In their clutches.
452
00:21:25,384 --> 00:21:27,384
She's one of them,
You idiot!
453
00:21:27,386 --> 00:21:29,386
We've got to save earth,
And we've gotta save sally!
454
00:21:29,388 --> 00:21:30,721
Let's go!
455
00:21:30,723 --> 00:21:32,623
Wait!
456
00:21:32,625 --> 00:21:35,259
Wait if we run into
One of those cunning,
Manipulative women?
457
00:21:35,261 --> 00:21:37,994
You're right.
Everyone grab a comb
And a dinner jacket.
458
00:21:37,996 --> 00:21:39,396
Let's go!
459
00:21:43,201 --> 00:21:46,136
Captioned by the national
Captioning institute
--www.Ncicap.Org--
33549
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