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1
00:00:03,971 --> 00:00:06,472
Dick, I am telling you,
You need a vest!
2
00:00:06,474 --> 00:00:07,973
I'm wearing a vest.
3
00:00:07,975 --> 00:00:10,509
Yeah, but it's wool.
You need kevlar.
4
00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:12,411
I'm just going
To the office.
5
00:00:12,413 --> 00:00:15,514
Yeah. The office
Where you work
With your ex-fiancee.
6
00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:18,516
You remember her--
The bitter woman
Who wants you dead.
7
00:00:18,518 --> 00:00:21,986
Oh, that. Oh, look,
Mary's had an entire night
To sleep on it.
8
00:00:21,988 --> 00:00:23,988
Besides, deep down
She loves me.
9
00:00:23,990 --> 00:00:27,359
And I said I was sorry.
What more could she ask for?
10
00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:32,531
Ok. Dick, I am
Practically a woman, ok?
11
00:00:32,533 --> 00:00:34,533
I basically know
How women feel,
12
00:00:34,535 --> 00:00:37,803
And she's gonna want
A whole lot more
Than "I'm sorry."
13
00:00:37,805 --> 00:00:39,304
So you
Have a choice.
14
00:00:39,306 --> 00:00:40,672
The vest or me.
15
00:00:42,209 --> 00:00:45,878
Oh, fine.
You carry my lunchbox.
16
00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:48,980
Don't bruise my banana.
17
00:01:02,429 --> 00:01:04,496
Clear!
18
00:01:04,498 --> 00:01:07,933
You see, sally,
There's nothing
To be concerned about.
19
00:01:07,935 --> 00:01:09,901
You've got to get--
20
00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:11,402
Oh, my god!
21
00:01:11,404 --> 00:01:12,904
Mr. Potato man!
22
00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:15,574
Who would
Do such a thing?
23
00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:17,542
Hello, dick.
Oh, sally.
24
00:01:17,544 --> 00:01:19,010
How could you
Do this?
25
00:01:19,012 --> 00:01:21,013
I was mad at you,
26
00:01:21,015 --> 00:01:23,916
And I guess I took it out
On a perfectly innocent...
27
00:01:23,918 --> 00:01:25,517
Plastic potato.
28
00:01:25,519 --> 00:01:27,753
Be glad
It wasn't your butt.
29
00:01:29,622 --> 00:01:31,623
Look, why can't you
Just drop this?
30
00:01:31,625 --> 00:01:35,627
Fine. I got engaged to you
And didn't tell you
I had a wife.
31
00:01:35,629 --> 00:01:37,129
I said I was sorry.
32
00:01:37,131 --> 00:01:38,630
It made me feel terrible,
33
00:01:38,632 --> 00:01:40,966
But I've stopped
Beating myself up about it.
34
00:01:40,968 --> 00:01:43,468
Well, that makes
One of you.
35
00:01:43,470 --> 00:01:44,936
It's ok, nina.
Nothing to worry about.
36
00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:46,939
I'm over it.
I'm an adult.
37
00:01:46,941 --> 00:01:48,440
I'm moving on.
38
00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:50,108
In fact, sally,
I'm glad you're here.
39
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:53,111
I have my yoga class
Tonight and
Judith can't make it.
40
00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:55,113
I have a groin pull.
41
00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:57,916
I'd love for you
To join me.
42
00:01:57,918 --> 00:01:59,717
Why?
43
00:01:59,719 --> 00:02:01,153
Because I'm an adult,
44
00:02:01,155 --> 00:02:03,321
And what dick did
Does not affect
Our friendship.
45
00:02:03,323 --> 00:02:05,724
Don and I are going
To the rutherford
Renaissance fair tonight.
46
00:02:05,726 --> 00:02:06,958
Oh, no, you're not.
47
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,960
You're canceling
Your plans
And going with mary.
48
00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:10,462
There's no way
I'm gonna do--
49
00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:11,462
Fine!
50
00:02:11,464 --> 00:02:12,497
Thank you.
51
00:02:12,499 --> 00:02:14,499
[blows raspberry]
52
00:02:14,501 --> 00:02:17,068
There, you see?
I can be an adult, too.
53
00:02:17,070 --> 00:02:18,670
I'm sure you can.
54
00:02:18,672 --> 00:02:21,940
That's why I'm going
To continue to allow you
To use my office.
55
00:02:21,942 --> 00:02:23,741
your office?
It's our office.
56
00:02:23,743 --> 00:02:25,243
Check the door, dick!
57
00:02:25,245 --> 00:02:26,644
It's my office!
58
00:02:26,646 --> 00:02:28,814
Always was,
Always will be!
59
00:02:28,816 --> 00:02:32,650
[calm voice]
But I say that
Just to let you know.
60
00:02:32,652 --> 00:02:35,253
I don't stress it.
I just gloss over it.
61
00:02:35,255 --> 00:02:37,322
See? Adult.
62
00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:44,997
Nina, I want my name
Painted on this door,
63
00:02:44,999 --> 00:02:49,368
And I want it
Twice the size of hers--
3 times the size!
64
00:02:49,370 --> 00:02:52,703
I'm going to be
The biggest adult
In this whole stupid office!
65
00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:34,546
Solomon!
66
00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:36,414
You got a guitar,
Right?
67
00:03:36,416 --> 00:03:37,415
No.
68
00:03:37,417 --> 00:03:38,716
Yes, you do.
69
00:03:38,718 --> 00:03:40,585
Tommy: no, not really.
You any good?
70
00:03:40,587 --> 00:03:42,186
Yes, you are.
71
00:03:42,188 --> 00:03:43,688
We're forming
A new band.
72
00:03:43,690 --> 00:03:45,189
A new band?
73
00:03:45,191 --> 00:03:47,692
Well, what happened
To state of contusion?
74
00:03:47,694 --> 00:03:49,193
Creative differences.
75
00:03:49,195 --> 00:03:51,195
Now we're
Whiskey kitten.
76
00:03:51,197 --> 00:03:53,364
And you're
Our lead guitarist.
77
00:03:53,366 --> 00:03:55,734
I've always wanted
To date a guy in a band.
78
00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:58,870
And that's exactly why
I'm joining this band.
79
00:03:58,872 --> 00:04:00,371
That's the spirit,
Solomon.
80
00:04:00,373 --> 00:04:03,641
Rehearsal tonight.
Your place.
81
00:04:03,643 --> 00:04:06,344
[strums electric guitar]
82
00:04:09,649 --> 00:04:11,649
Can I be your roadie?
83
00:04:11,651 --> 00:04:12,950
Can I?
84
00:04:12,952 --> 00:04:15,453
So you want to lug around
Heavy equipment for us
85
00:04:15,455 --> 00:04:16,854
While we treat you
Like dirt?
86
00:04:16,856 --> 00:04:18,856
Yeah.
87
00:04:18,858 --> 00:04:22,894
Plus I get
My pick of the
Less attractive women.
88
00:04:22,896 --> 00:04:24,162
[jangling]
89
00:04:25,866 --> 00:04:27,899
[jangling]
90
00:04:27,901 --> 00:04:29,467
Sally!
91
00:04:29,469 --> 00:04:30,969
Shall we go, milady?
92
00:04:30,971 --> 00:04:33,237
I'm sorry, don,
I'm running late
For something!
93
00:04:33,239 --> 00:04:35,607
I'll call you later.
Bye-bye!
94
00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:37,742
Don't forget
To tell mary
95
00:04:37,744 --> 00:04:40,412
That I'm roller-skating
With supermodels!
96
00:04:40,414 --> 00:04:42,113
What the hell
Was that?
97
00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:45,083
She just
Made me look like
A complete jackass.
98
00:04:46,252 --> 00:04:49,187
Ah...
99
00:04:49,189 --> 00:04:51,022
Women.
100
00:04:51,024 --> 00:04:52,190
I hear you, my friend.
101
00:04:52,192 --> 00:04:53,258
A woman may say
102
00:04:53,260 --> 00:04:55,127
That she wants a man
To be obedient and nice,
103
00:04:55,129 --> 00:04:56,260
But does she
Really want that?
104
00:04:56,262 --> 00:04:58,362
Yes, she does.
105
00:04:58,364 --> 00:04:59,698
No, she doesn't,
106
00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:01,566
Because then she'll
Just walk all over you.
107
00:05:01,568 --> 00:05:03,869
Amen to that, my friend.
108
00:05:03,871 --> 00:05:05,370
Women are maddening.
109
00:05:05,372 --> 00:05:07,372
They pretend
To be so adult,
110
00:05:07,374 --> 00:05:08,874
But just like that,
111
00:05:08,876 --> 00:05:11,876
They'll sink
All the way down
To your level.
112
00:05:13,646 --> 00:05:15,146
Tell me, my friend,
113
00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:16,681
Is that fair?
114
00:05:16,683 --> 00:05:18,182
Yes, it is.
115
00:05:18,184 --> 00:05:19,684
No, it's not.
116
00:05:19,686 --> 00:05:22,687
Let me ask you something,
My friend.
117
00:05:22,689 --> 00:05:24,890
Do you want sally
To want you more than ever?
118
00:05:24,892 --> 00:05:26,257
No, he doesn't.
119
00:05:26,259 --> 00:05:27,391
Yes, I do.
120
00:05:27,393 --> 00:05:29,894
This just
Isn't my day.
121
00:05:29,896 --> 00:05:32,396
Then you've got
To show her who's boss.
122
00:05:32,398 --> 00:05:33,898
Lay down the law.
123
00:05:33,900 --> 00:05:35,399
You think?
I know.
124
00:05:35,401 --> 00:05:36,801
Be firm, my friend.
125
00:05:36,803 --> 00:05:37,902
Power!
126
00:05:37,904 --> 00:05:40,805
It's the only language
Women understand.
127
00:05:40,807 --> 00:05:43,474
You show sally
Who wears the pants,
My friend.
128
00:05:43,476 --> 00:05:45,810
That's the way.
129
00:05:45,812 --> 00:05:48,579
Thank you, my friends.
130
00:05:48,581 --> 00:05:49,914
You're right!
131
00:05:49,916 --> 00:05:51,850
I wear the pants!
132
00:05:57,724 --> 00:06:00,391
And inhale...
133
00:06:00,393 --> 00:06:02,594
And exhale.
134
00:06:03,663 --> 00:06:05,162
Isn't this
Great exercise?
135
00:06:05,164 --> 00:06:07,866
Yeah. I haven't had
This hard a workout
136
00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:10,801
Since the last time
I went breathing.
137
00:06:10,803 --> 00:06:14,405
Well, that's it, everybody.
Thanks for coming.
138
00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:18,943
Doesn't it make you
Feel taller?
139
00:06:21,781 --> 00:06:25,283
Oh, god.
I knew that dweeb
Was lookin' over here.
140
00:06:25,285 --> 00:06:27,285
Here comes
The old pickup.
141
00:06:27,287 --> 00:06:28,286
Excuse me.
142
00:06:28,288 --> 00:06:29,287
Yeah.
143
00:06:29,289 --> 00:06:30,888
I hope this
Isn't being rude--
144
00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:32,790
Just get it over with.
145
00:06:32,792 --> 00:06:35,793
I was just wondering,
Is your friend attached?
146
00:06:35,795 --> 00:06:37,229
Look, I'm not--
147
00:06:40,533 --> 00:06:42,033
Her?
148
00:06:42,035 --> 00:06:45,036
Mm-hmm. Could I
Interest you
In some coffee?
149
00:06:45,038 --> 00:06:46,604
Oh, no, thank you.
150
00:06:46,606 --> 00:06:50,141
I'm sorry,
But did you see me?
151
00:06:50,143 --> 00:06:53,078
Yes, yes. And
You did just fine
For a beginner.
152
00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:54,579
Are you sure?
153
00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:56,348
Oh, positive.
154
00:06:56,350 --> 00:06:57,515
Thanks.
155
00:06:57,517 --> 00:07:00,384
Well--look at me.
156
00:07:00,386 --> 00:07:01,586
[squeaky voice]
Me!
157
00:07:05,658 --> 00:07:08,960
Dr. Albright!
Dr. Albright!
158
00:07:08,962 --> 00:07:10,728
You got something
From the white house!
159
00:07:10,730 --> 00:07:12,363
Open it!
What?!
160
00:07:12,365 --> 00:07:13,698
Open it!
161
00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:15,199
"Dear dr. Mary albright,
162
00:07:15,201 --> 00:07:17,201
"In recognition
Of your achievements
163
00:07:17,203 --> 00:07:19,704
"In the field of
Undergraduate education,
164
00:07:19,706 --> 00:07:22,206
"You are hereby invited
To the president's dinner
165
00:07:22,208 --> 00:07:24,109
Honoring
Academic excellence."
166
00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:26,611
Oh, my god.
167
00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:28,112
"Enclosed itinerary..."
168
00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:29,113
Blah, blah, blah...
169
00:07:29,115 --> 00:07:30,615
"Cherry tree inn
On the potomac.
170
00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:32,116
"Looking forward
To meeting you,
171
00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:34,619
"Sincerely,
Bill and hillary rodham--
172
00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:36,054
Potato head."
173
00:07:37,824 --> 00:07:40,825
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
174
00:07:40,827 --> 00:07:44,029
Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
175
00:07:46,032 --> 00:07:47,264
Very funny.
176
00:07:47,266 --> 00:07:48,666
I'm sorry!
177
00:07:48,668 --> 00:07:50,401
I'm sorry!
I just had to!
178
00:07:50,403 --> 00:07:51,936
Ha ha ha ha ha!
179
00:07:51,938 --> 00:07:53,771
This was stupid
And childish.
180
00:07:53,773 --> 00:07:56,507
I know. But we're
Even now, right?
181
00:07:56,509 --> 00:07:58,009
Oh, yeah.
Live that fantasy.
182
00:07:58,011 --> 00:08:00,011
Did you see the part
About the cherry--
183
00:08:00,013 --> 00:08:02,513
I got a work order
To paint the door.
184
00:08:02,515 --> 00:08:04,015
Ohh! Oh, yes. Right.
185
00:08:04,017 --> 00:08:05,516
Yeah, right here.
186
00:08:05,518 --> 00:08:06,918
Right over this name.
187
00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:08,519
And bigger! And bolder!
188
00:08:08,521 --> 00:08:10,521
So when one
Approaches the door,
189
00:08:10,523 --> 00:08:13,024
A mere glance
Will establish
Just who's who...
190
00:08:13,026 --> 00:08:15,060
In this office.
191
00:08:15,062 --> 00:08:17,595
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
192
00:08:17,597 --> 00:08:20,765
Ooh hoo hoo hoo hoo!
193
00:08:20,767 --> 00:08:23,134
Oh, no, no, no,
No, no. No.
194
00:08:23,136 --> 00:08:25,070
Oh, he'd be very upset.
195
00:08:25,072 --> 00:08:26,571
Oh ho ho.
196
00:08:26,573 --> 00:08:28,073
This says "Dick solomon."
197
00:08:28,075 --> 00:08:30,075
He gets that a lot.
198
00:08:30,077 --> 00:08:31,576
It's dick...
199
00:08:31,578 --> 00:08:34,979
S-a-l-m-o-n.
200
00:08:36,783 --> 00:08:38,283
Salmon.
201
00:08:38,285 --> 00:08:41,919
You know,
Like the big,
Pink, stinky fish.
202
00:08:41,921 --> 00:08:43,688
[band playing]
203
00:08:51,597 --> 00:08:52,763
All right,
204
00:08:52,765 --> 00:08:54,098
Let's rock.
205
00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:56,301
Drummer:
1, 2, 3, 4!
206
00:09:02,142 --> 00:09:05,209
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
What are you doing?
207
00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:06,510
Playing.
208
00:09:06,512 --> 00:09:08,880
Come on, man.
We're a speed metal band.
209
00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:11,182
No, we're not.
We're a def metal band.
210
00:09:11,184 --> 00:09:13,818
It's not about labels, ok?
It's about the music.
211
00:09:13,820 --> 00:09:16,253
About that music,
Um, how many songs
Do we have?
212
00:09:16,255 --> 00:09:17,621
Just the one.
213
00:09:17,623 --> 00:09:18,856
We need
More than one song.
214
00:09:18,858 --> 00:09:20,591
This isn't about
Counting songs, solomon.
215
00:09:20,593 --> 00:09:22,059
This is about the music.
216
00:09:22,061 --> 00:09:23,561
Well, as far as
I'm concerned,
217
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:25,062
It's about
Impressing august,
218
00:09:25,064 --> 00:09:26,731
And one song
Ain't gonna cut it.
219
00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:28,867
Hey, man,
If you're true
To the music,
220
00:09:28,869 --> 00:09:30,267
Women,
They can sense it.
221
00:09:30,269 --> 00:09:34,271
Well, if the women
Can count,
We're screwed.
222
00:09:34,273 --> 00:09:35,406
Let's rock.
223
00:09:42,816 --> 00:09:45,617
♪ one mo'! ♪
224
00:09:45,619 --> 00:09:46,985
♪ one mo'! ♪
225
00:09:46,987 --> 00:09:49,087
Whooooo!
226
00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:51,155
Ooooohhh!
227
00:09:51,157 --> 00:09:52,991
♪ one mo'! ♪
228
00:09:56,329 --> 00:09:57,629
I'm sorry.
229
00:10:01,668 --> 00:10:02,767
Matthew?
230
00:10:04,203 --> 00:10:05,637
Hey, matthew?
231
00:10:06,907 --> 00:10:08,239
Matthew!
232
00:10:10,076 --> 00:10:11,075
Yes.
233
00:10:11,077 --> 00:10:13,845
You--you look
Really nice today.
234
00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:17,649
Is there a problem?
'cause I'm really busy.
235
00:10:17,651 --> 00:10:21,152
Yeah. I think
I pulled my butt muscle!
236
00:10:21,154 --> 00:10:25,022
Let me see
If I can go run down
A nurse for you.
237
00:10:25,024 --> 00:10:26,023
[door closes]
238
00:10:26,025 --> 00:10:26,991
Damn!
239
00:10:30,963 --> 00:10:32,897
Hi. Are you from
The swedish motor place?
240
00:10:32,899 --> 00:10:34,765
[spanish accent]
sí. I am swedish.
241
00:10:36,669 --> 00:10:39,670
Yeah. It's the red volvo,
Um, over there.
242
00:10:39,672 --> 00:10:43,141
When I change gears,
It makes a grinding noise.
243
00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:44,642
Is a grinding?
244
00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:46,343
Yes!
Is a grinding.
245
00:10:46,345 --> 00:10:49,380
Ah! Recognition
At last.
246
00:10:49,382 --> 00:10:52,984
Now all who pass
Through the hallowed
Gates of huff hall
247
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:55,452
Will know
That this office
Is occupied
248
00:10:55,454 --> 00:10:58,556
By dr. Dick salmon.
249
00:11:08,701 --> 00:11:12,703
cuando el car
Changes las gears,
250
00:11:12,705 --> 00:11:13,838
uh, no es bueno.
251
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,206
Uh, it makes a...
252
00:11:15,208 --> 00:11:16,941
Rrrrrrrr!
253
00:11:16,943 --> 00:11:18,143
Rrrrrrrr!
254
00:11:18,145 --> 00:11:19,543
Yes. Rrrrrrr!
255
00:11:19,545 --> 00:11:21,779
Rrrrrrr!
256
00:11:21,781 --> 00:11:22,780
What?
257
00:11:22,782 --> 00:11:23,781
Allow me, mary.
258
00:11:23,783 --> 00:11:25,416
con permiso, señor.
259
00:11:25,418 --> 00:11:27,919
la palanca del carro de la señora
260
00:11:27,921 --> 00:11:29,921
salta cuando hace el cambio.
261
00:11:29,923 --> 00:11:32,223
oh, sí, sí.
262
00:11:32,225 --> 00:11:34,759
tambien, quiere que le instale
263
00:11:34,761 --> 00:11:36,761
un equipo en stereo
264
00:11:36,763 --> 00:11:38,262
de doscientos matios
265
00:11:38,264 --> 00:11:39,764
con esos palantes gigantes
266
00:11:39,766 --> 00:11:41,766
en la parte de atras.
267
00:11:41,768 --> 00:11:43,234
ah! No hay problema.
268
00:11:43,236 --> 00:11:44,302
Oh, great.
269
00:11:44,304 --> 00:11:46,036
y...Por favor,
270
00:11:46,038 --> 00:11:47,538
a los costados,
271
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:50,441
pinte llamas de color naranja encendido.
272
00:11:50,443 --> 00:11:51,876
eso será muy caro.
273
00:11:51,878 --> 00:11:53,378
oh, no hay problema.
274
00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:55,380
ella esta llena de dinero.
275
00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:58,249
¡bueno, bueno!
276
00:11:58,251 --> 00:12:00,084
Thank you very much,
Dick.
277
00:12:00,086 --> 00:12:01,852
no problema.
278
00:12:02,989 --> 00:12:06,490
The time has come
To lay down the law.
279
00:12:06,492 --> 00:12:10,494
If you're not ready
To give this
Relationship 110%...
280
00:12:10,496 --> 00:12:14,431
Then maybe we should
Start seeing other people.
281
00:12:14,433 --> 00:12:17,368
Don! I can't believe
You're saying this.
282
00:12:17,370 --> 00:12:18,869
Well, I am.
283
00:12:18,871 --> 00:12:21,772
If it turns out
There's somebody
That we want,
284
00:12:21,774 --> 00:12:24,074
We should be free
To just move on.
285
00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:26,810
Don, it's like
You can read my mind!
286
00:12:26,812 --> 00:12:28,646
It is?
287
00:12:28,648 --> 00:12:31,649
Yeah. You see,
There's this guy
I met--matthew--
288
00:12:31,651 --> 00:12:34,152
And I gotta level with you.
I want him bad!
289
00:12:35,288 --> 00:12:36,620
You do?
290
00:12:36,622 --> 00:12:37,922
Well...
291
00:12:37,924 --> 00:12:39,123
Good.
292
00:12:39,125 --> 00:12:41,759
No need wasting
Precious seconds
Pining over don.
293
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:43,260
Exactly!
294
00:12:43,262 --> 00:12:45,863
Oh, don, you really
Understand me.
295
00:12:45,865 --> 00:12:47,765
I mean,
You know what I need
296
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:49,767
And you tell me
To go for it.
297
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:51,268
It's like...
298
00:12:51,270 --> 00:12:54,205
You're the best friend
A gal like me could have.
299
00:12:54,207 --> 00:12:56,373
Sally, would you
Do me a favor?
300
00:12:56,375 --> 00:12:57,374
Absolutely.
301
00:12:57,376 --> 00:12:59,443
Hold on to my gun.
302
00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:06,016
[band playing loudly]
303
00:13:06,018 --> 00:13:07,518
[music drowns out
Conversation]
304
00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:09,420
Get me some parsley!
305
00:13:11,724 --> 00:13:13,290
No. Parsley!
306
00:13:15,929 --> 00:13:17,428
No, not pepper!
Parsley!
307
00:13:17,430 --> 00:13:18,796
This is pepper!
308
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:20,064
Pepper!
Parsley!
309
00:13:23,669 --> 00:13:25,669
Turn it down!
310
00:13:25,671 --> 00:13:27,171
[turns amplifier off]
311
00:13:27,173 --> 00:13:30,441
This rock and roll
Music has got to stop!
312
00:13:30,443 --> 00:13:31,542
Why?
313
00:13:31,544 --> 00:13:33,043
Because it's loud!
314
00:13:33,045 --> 00:13:34,345
And rhythmic!
315
00:13:34,347 --> 00:13:36,414
And rhythm
Can lead to dancing.
316
00:13:36,416 --> 00:13:39,417
Rock and roll music
Preaches a gospel
317
00:13:39,419 --> 00:13:41,852
Of easy sexuality
And relaxed morality,
318
00:13:41,854 --> 00:13:44,389
And I will not
Endorse an enterprise
319
00:13:44,391 --> 00:13:46,524
Which is
As fraught with peril
320
00:13:46,526 --> 00:13:49,527
As I believe
This one to be!
321
00:13:54,033 --> 00:13:56,533
So, you resent us
For being young
322
00:13:56,535 --> 00:13:59,036
And living in a world
Full of carnal possibilities
323
00:13:59,038 --> 00:14:00,672
Which you can't
Possibly enjoy.
324
00:14:02,509 --> 00:14:03,775
Yes!
325
00:14:03,777 --> 00:14:05,743
Now knock it off!
326
00:14:05,745 --> 00:14:08,179
Ah, don't listen
To him, boys.
327
00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:10,247
I love rock and roll.
328
00:14:10,249 --> 00:14:13,384
I used to be a groupie
For the kingston trio.
329
00:14:13,386 --> 00:14:16,087
Ok. I'm sorry,
But you're going
To have to go.
330
00:14:16,089 --> 00:14:18,589
I had an all-access pass.
331
00:14:18,591 --> 00:14:21,592
As a matter of fact,
So did they.
332
00:14:21,594 --> 00:14:22,993
All right, we get it.
333
00:14:26,132 --> 00:14:29,833
Dr. Solomon,
Come on, enough with
The practical jokes.
334
00:14:29,835 --> 00:14:32,836
But, nina, there's nothing
Practical about this joke.
335
00:14:32,838 --> 00:14:36,273
It's an utterly pointless,
Hurtful, and asinine
Waste of time.
336
00:14:36,275 --> 00:14:37,342
[giggles]
337
00:14:37,344 --> 00:14:39,210
You sure you don't
Want this furniture?
338
00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:40,210
Absolutely not.
339
00:14:40,212 --> 00:14:43,147
As a student of
The ancient chinese art
340
00:14:43,149 --> 00:14:44,649
Of feng shui,
341
00:14:44,651 --> 00:14:47,652
I can assure you
That the spiritual
Harmony of this room
342
00:14:47,654 --> 00:14:49,853
Was upset by having
That bitch sitting there.
343
00:14:51,357 --> 00:14:52,856
[giggling]
344
00:14:52,858 --> 00:14:55,859
Thanks for coming over
On such short notice,
Don.
345
00:14:55,861 --> 00:14:58,662
I knew you'd call, sally.
It was just a matter of time.
346
00:14:58,664 --> 00:15:00,664
I need you, don.
I need you bad.
347
00:15:00,666 --> 00:15:02,033
Well, you're lucky
I was available.
348
00:15:02,035 --> 00:15:05,669
You know, I got a lot
On my plate right now.
349
00:15:05,671 --> 00:15:08,672
You know,
My--my lady plate.
350
00:15:08,674 --> 00:15:10,742
Listen, you can
Do something for me
351
00:15:10,744 --> 00:15:12,576
That nobody else
Can do.
352
00:15:12,578 --> 00:15:14,678
I know I can, baby.
353
00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:18,182
But if you expect me
To come crawling back
To you now,
354
00:15:18,184 --> 00:15:19,683
You got
Another think coming.
355
00:15:19,685 --> 00:15:21,385
Oh, no, I don't
Want that at all.
356
00:15:21,387 --> 00:15:25,156
Are you sure?
'cause I can crawl
Like a bat out of hell.
357
00:15:25,158 --> 00:15:26,156
Oh, no.
358
00:15:26,158 --> 00:15:28,158
Thanks, sweetie,
But what I need from you
359
00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:29,660
Is a background check
On matthew.
360
00:15:29,662 --> 00:15:31,161
Who is he?
What are his weaknesses?
361
00:15:31,163 --> 00:15:33,130
How can I
Cut him out of the herd
And bring him down?
362
00:15:33,132 --> 00:15:36,633
Why bother when you have
A sick, hobbled wildebeest
363
00:15:36,635 --> 00:15:38,535
Right in
Your own front yard?
364
00:15:38,537 --> 00:15:42,306
[rhythmic banging]
365
00:15:42,308 --> 00:15:43,474
Hey, tommy.
366
00:15:43,476 --> 00:15:45,309
How's the band?
367
00:15:45,311 --> 00:15:48,479
Well, uh,
We've avoided the trap
Of over-rehearsing,
368
00:15:48,481 --> 00:15:51,949
Which can be a problem,
You know, when you've
Only got one song.
369
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:54,218
I wrote a song.
370
00:15:54,220 --> 00:15:55,686
Did you?
371
00:15:55,688 --> 00:16:01,459
[singing badly]
♪ picture window
Paints my mind ♪
372
00:16:03,529 --> 00:16:11,736
♪ black horizon's
Valentine ♪
373
00:16:11,738 --> 00:16:15,539
Rock and roll, baby!
374
00:16:24,750 --> 00:16:26,284
Mary.
375
00:16:28,621 --> 00:16:30,120
Dick.
376
00:16:30,122 --> 00:16:33,057
Your desk was gone
When I got here.
377
00:16:33,059 --> 00:16:35,125
I believe you.
378
00:16:35,127 --> 00:16:37,395
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
379
00:16:37,397 --> 00:16:38,896
It was me!
380
00:16:38,898 --> 00:16:41,399
I had them
Take away your desk! Me!
381
00:16:41,401 --> 00:16:42,767
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
382
00:16:42,769 --> 00:16:44,034
This has got to stop.
383
00:16:44,036 --> 00:16:46,971
Oh, you just want to quit
'cause you can't win.
384
00:16:46,973 --> 00:16:49,039
Oh, my poor defeated mary.
385
00:16:49,041 --> 00:16:50,541
You're just outmatched,
That's all.
386
00:16:50,543 --> 00:16:52,910
But it takes
A big woman to admit that.
387
00:16:52,912 --> 00:16:55,313
And just to show
There are no hard feelings,
388
00:16:55,315 --> 00:16:56,447
I'm going to--
389
00:17:02,755 --> 00:17:04,622
My arm is stuck.
390
00:17:05,758 --> 00:17:07,758
That's strange.
So is this one.
391
00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:10,861
It's almost as if
There was glue on my desk.
392
00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:12,362
Dick,
Don't be ridiculous.
393
00:17:12,364 --> 00:17:13,997
It couldn't be glue.
394
00:17:13,999 --> 00:17:17,067
It must be thermal bond
Epoxy.
395
00:17:17,069 --> 00:17:18,302
No!
396
00:17:18,304 --> 00:17:20,638
Uhhhh!
397
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:21,772
Uhh!
398
00:17:21,774 --> 00:17:23,007
Ohh!
399
00:17:24,844 --> 00:17:27,078
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
400
00:17:28,648 --> 00:17:29,781
Mistake.
401
00:17:29,783 --> 00:17:31,215
Huge mistake.
402
00:17:32,285 --> 00:17:33,284
Oh, thanks.
403
00:17:33,286 --> 00:17:35,486
Oh, wait a second.
404
00:17:35,488 --> 00:17:37,055
That's better.
405
00:17:42,361 --> 00:17:43,728
Ohh!
406
00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:44,729
You came!
407
00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:46,630
How could I refuse?
408
00:17:46,632 --> 00:17:48,632
Well, what was it
That convinced you?
409
00:17:48,634 --> 00:17:50,901
The flowers?
The radio dedications?
410
00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:52,603
The skywriting?
411
00:17:52,605 --> 00:17:54,505
You hired
A skywriter.
412
00:17:54,507 --> 00:17:56,274
Well, he was more
Of a crop duster,
413
00:17:56,276 --> 00:17:59,977
But he wrote "Sally"
Over your house
With diopropylene, so...
414
00:17:59,979 --> 00:18:01,746
That explains
The vomiting.
415
00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:03,247
Yeah.
416
00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:04,748
Look, I've
Got to tell you,
417
00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:06,918
I have never had
A woman work so hard
418
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:08,419
To get my attention.
419
00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:09,553
It's flattering.
420
00:18:09,555 --> 00:18:11,823
Meaning...You want
To go out with me?
421
00:18:11,825 --> 00:18:12,823
Sure.
422
00:18:12,825 --> 00:18:15,259
Yes!
423
00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:16,260
Ha!
424
00:18:16,262 --> 00:18:17,394
I got you.
425
00:18:17,396 --> 00:18:18,896
You got me.
426
00:18:18,898 --> 00:18:19,897
Ha!
427
00:18:19,899 --> 00:18:20,898
Ohh!
428
00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:23,067
[laughs]
429
00:18:28,908 --> 00:18:30,440
Well, now what?
430
00:18:31,710 --> 00:18:35,212
Ok, I was thinking
You could start off
In jeans,
431
00:18:35,214 --> 00:18:38,482
But then you could change
Into vintage tuxedos
Between songs.
432
00:18:38,484 --> 00:18:40,484
Between songs?
433
00:18:40,486 --> 00:18:43,420
We only
Have one song!
434
00:18:43,422 --> 00:18:47,057
Well, you could change
During the drum solo.
435
00:18:47,059 --> 00:18:49,293
The song problem
Is over, tommy.
436
00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:51,428
I wrote 4 new songs
Last night.
437
00:18:51,430 --> 00:18:54,565
Excuse me,
But since when
Are you in this band?
438
00:18:54,567 --> 00:18:56,466
Tommy, tell them.
439
00:18:56,468 --> 00:18:58,802
Tell them what?
You're not in the band.
440
00:18:58,804 --> 00:19:00,737
Well, if
That's how you feel,
441
00:19:00,739 --> 00:19:02,239
I quit the band.
442
00:19:02,241 --> 00:19:04,809
Well, maybe you
Should rephrase that
To acknowledge the fact
443
00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:08,879
That you were never
In this pathetic,
Non-performing band!
444
00:19:08,881 --> 00:19:10,481
You know, that is it,
Solomon.
445
00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:12,883
Your attitude is just
Tearing this band apart.
446
00:19:12,885 --> 00:19:14,818
You're out of the band!
447
00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:16,653
I never wanted
To be in the band!
448
00:19:16,655 --> 00:19:18,655
I'm sorry,
But you're
Gonna have to go.
449
00:19:18,657 --> 00:19:19,656
What?
450
00:19:19,658 --> 00:19:21,158
Harry!
451
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:23,728
We'll send you a t-shirt.
452
00:19:26,799 --> 00:19:30,000
When I look at you,
I wonder, what took me
So long to--
453
00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:31,168
Uh-huh.
454
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:34,271
I mean,
You're beautiful,
You're sexy.
455
00:19:34,273 --> 00:19:35,239
Uh-huh.
456
00:19:40,212 --> 00:19:41,345
Uhhh! Uhhh!
457
00:19:41,347 --> 00:19:42,346
Ow!
458
00:19:42,348 --> 00:19:43,347
Yeow!
459
00:19:43,349 --> 00:19:44,348
Ow!
460
00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:46,850
Oh, dick,
I'm so embarrassed.
461
00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:49,020
When we broke up,
I was so mad at you,
462
00:19:49,022 --> 00:19:51,722
But now I've
Just made it worse
By acting like a child.
463
00:19:51,724 --> 00:19:52,723
Truce?
464
00:19:52,725 --> 00:19:53,857
Truce.
465
00:19:53,859 --> 00:19:56,827
Great. Now we can go back
To acting like adults.
466
00:19:56,829 --> 00:19:58,228
Yes, mary.
467
00:19:58,230 --> 00:19:59,296
Adults.
468
00:19:59,298 --> 00:20:00,297
[whimpering]
469
00:20:00,299 --> 00:20:02,799
[music booming]
470
00:20:02,801 --> 00:20:07,304
Mary, it appears your volvo
Is back from the shop.
471
00:20:07,306 --> 00:20:08,573
What?!
472
00:20:11,811 --> 00:20:13,276
Damn!
473
00:20:13,278 --> 00:20:16,513
Hee hee hee ha ha ha!
474
00:20:16,515 --> 00:20:18,582
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
475
00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:22,719
Women.
476
00:20:22,721 --> 00:20:23,720
Women.
477
00:20:23,722 --> 00:20:25,222
Women.
478
00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:26,657
[high-pitched
Squeal]
♪ women! ♪
479
00:20:29,294 --> 00:20:30,627
You can't live with 'em,
480
00:20:30,629 --> 00:20:34,331
And you can't have
Heterosexual sex
Without 'em.
481
00:20:34,333 --> 00:20:36,767
That's probably true.
482
00:20:37,970 --> 00:20:40,337
Well, I'm outta here.
483
00:20:40,339 --> 00:20:42,907
When sally shows up
With mr. Yoga,
484
00:20:42,909 --> 00:20:45,676
I'm liable to go medieval
On his ass.
485
00:20:45,678 --> 00:20:47,311
Bye, don.
486
00:20:49,148 --> 00:20:51,281
What can you do?
You do things your way,
They're not happy.
487
00:20:51,283 --> 00:20:53,284
You do things their way,
They're still not happy.
488
00:20:53,286 --> 00:20:56,654
When are we gonna learn
You can't deal with women?
489
00:20:56,656 --> 00:21:00,291
The female feigns weakness
Only to use it
As a weapon.
490
00:21:00,293 --> 00:21:03,093
It's like the
Praying mantis. Yeah.
491
00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:05,629
She acts so fragile
And willowy,
492
00:21:05,631 --> 00:21:06,863
But when
The male approaches,
493
00:21:06,865 --> 00:21:09,700
She sprays
Poisonous mucus
From her eyelids,
494
00:21:09,702 --> 00:21:12,002
And he bursts
Into flames.
495
00:21:13,572 --> 00:21:15,238
Praying mantises
Don't do that.
496
00:21:16,475 --> 00:21:20,277
So what?
The analogy stands.
497
00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:22,345
You can't negotiate
With them, tommy.
498
00:21:22,347 --> 00:21:23,814
You gotta give
As good as you get.
499
00:21:23,816 --> 00:21:25,315
Now,
Mary found that out.
500
00:21:25,317 --> 00:21:26,817
Oh, yeah.
501
00:21:26,819 --> 00:21:28,218
The hard way.
502
00:21:29,388 --> 00:21:30,421
Why are there
Office supplies
503
00:21:30,423 --> 00:21:34,357
Stuck to the side
Of your head?
504
00:21:34,359 --> 00:21:36,393
That's where
I keep them.
505
00:21:41,300 --> 00:21:42,966
1, 2, 3, 4!
506
00:21:44,637 --> 00:21:45,636
Women!
507
00:21:45,638 --> 00:21:49,005
Whoooo-hooo!
508
00:21:54,347 --> 00:21:55,278
Hey!
509
00:21:57,650 --> 00:21:59,650
What are you doing?!
510
00:21:59,652 --> 00:22:01,652
That's my dad's guitar!
511
00:22:01,654 --> 00:22:03,086
He's gonna kill me!
512
00:22:05,357 --> 00:22:07,958
I guess I'm gonna
Have to go.
513
00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:10,894
Captioned by the national
Captioning institute
--www.Ncicap.Org--
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