Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,536 --> 00:00:05,004
Harry: previously on
3rd rock from the sun...
2
00:00:05,006 --> 00:00:07,405
We four aliens dreamed
For the first time.
3
00:00:07,407 --> 00:00:09,174
I'll tell you
What you want to know!
4
00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:11,810
[german accent]
Of course you will,
Dr. Solomon.
5
00:00:11,812 --> 00:00:15,880
Naturally, not being human,
We thought our brains
Were decomposing.
6
00:00:15,882 --> 00:00:17,048
[gasps]
7
00:00:17,050 --> 00:00:19,585
We planned an immediate
Return to the home planet.
8
00:00:19,587 --> 00:00:21,052
We'll leave tonight
At 8:53.
9
00:00:21,054 --> 00:00:22,186
W-when are we
Coming back?
10
00:00:22,188 --> 00:00:24,423
Could be a week, a year,
Could be 200 years.
11
00:00:24,425 --> 00:00:25,757
What about mary?
12
00:00:25,759 --> 00:00:26,758
Oh, she'll be dead.
13
00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:28,427
Maybe I am
Losing my mind,
14
00:00:28,429 --> 00:00:30,762
But while
There's a little left,
I want to marry you.
15
00:00:32,099 --> 00:00:34,065
This is so great!
16
00:00:34,067 --> 00:00:35,567
I know!
17
00:00:35,569 --> 00:00:37,469
Uh, dick,
Are you sure?
18
00:00:37,471 --> 00:00:38,470
Absolutely.
19
00:00:38,472 --> 00:00:41,573
Well, this is
Good-bye, then.
20
00:00:41,575 --> 00:00:44,376
I had a dream
You asked me to marry you.
21
00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:45,377
You had a what?
22
00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:46,378
People dream.
23
00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:48,113
People dream?!
24
00:00:48,115 --> 00:00:50,115
Hello! Sally!
25
00:00:50,117 --> 00:00:51,249
Harry!
26
00:00:51,251 --> 00:00:52,517
They're gone.
27
00:00:52,519 --> 00:00:54,386
I miss them.
28
00:00:56,456 --> 00:00:58,624
Minister: and
That togetherness is
What is most celebrated
29
00:00:58,626 --> 00:01:00,625
About this
Very special occasion.
30
00:01:00,627 --> 00:01:03,662
Oh, mary, this is
The happiest day
Of my life.
31
00:01:03,664 --> 00:01:05,397
You look so beautiful.
32
00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:07,732
And I look smashing
In my tuxedo.
33
00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:09,768
My bow tie
Matches my cummerbund.
34
00:01:10,871 --> 00:01:12,471
You're not wearing
A cummerbund.
35
00:01:12,473 --> 00:01:14,473
Yes, I am.
36
00:01:14,475 --> 00:01:17,375
You're supposed
To wear it
On the outside.
37
00:01:17,377 --> 00:01:20,078
Oh. Oh, that
Explains the rash.
38
00:01:21,381 --> 00:01:24,550
Now, then,
If anyone objects
To this sacred union,
39
00:01:24,552 --> 00:01:27,386
Speak now or
Forever hold your peace.
40
00:01:27,388 --> 00:01:29,388
[ominous organ chord plays]
41
00:01:29,390 --> 00:01:31,656
Sally:
I object.
42
00:01:31,658 --> 00:01:33,558
I think
That's my arm.
43
00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:34,993
Huh? Oh, sorry.
44
00:01:34,995 --> 00:01:36,895
My family!
You made it!
45
00:01:36,897 --> 00:01:38,630
I was afraid I was never
Going to see you again.
46
00:01:38,632 --> 00:01:40,031
You look well.
47
00:01:40,033 --> 00:01:42,668
You got some color.
48
00:01:42,670 --> 00:01:44,269
Could have used you
At the wheel, dick.
49
00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:45,403
Oh, but no.
50
00:01:45,405 --> 00:01:47,839
You had to stay
And marry
That earth chick.
51
00:01:47,841 --> 00:01:51,476
Yeah. With
Tragic results for us.
52
00:01:51,478 --> 00:01:53,611
I--I tried
To contact you.
I tried everything.
53
00:01:53,613 --> 00:01:54,946
I even built
A transmitter,
54
00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:57,416
But then I...Spilled
Grape soda on it
55
00:01:57,418 --> 00:01:58,917
And the whole thing
Shorted out.
56
00:01:58,919 --> 00:02:01,453
However, I did
Manage to have
A brief conversation
57
00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:03,822
With the captain
Of a shrimp boat.
58
00:02:03,824 --> 00:02:05,456
So that's supposed
To make it better?
59
00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:07,191
Oh, come on.
You got to go back
To the home planet.
60
00:02:07,193 --> 00:02:08,560
What's so bad
About that?
61
00:02:08,562 --> 00:02:09,861
Oh, nothing.
62
00:02:09,863 --> 00:02:12,964
Except when you
Pass too close
To a quasar
63
00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:15,166
And this happens!
64
00:02:15,168 --> 00:02:16,768
Oh, my god!
65
00:02:16,770 --> 00:02:18,803
You've turned
Into a woman!
66
00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:20,272
Well, not everywhere.
67
00:02:20,274 --> 00:02:23,641
As if showering
In gym class
Wasn't traumatic enough.
68
00:02:23,643 --> 00:02:25,443
Thank you very much.
69
00:02:25,445 --> 00:02:28,246
[screeching voice]
Dick, I think it's time
To cut the cake!
70
00:02:28,248 --> 00:02:29,380
I-I'll be right there.
71
00:02:29,382 --> 00:02:31,083
Y-you're not going
To leave again, are you?
72
00:02:31,085 --> 00:02:32,484
No.
73
00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:34,052
We have some...
74
00:02:34,054 --> 00:02:36,521
Unfinished business
To take care of.
75
00:02:36,523 --> 00:02:38,022
I-I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
76
00:02:38,024 --> 00:02:39,657
No, I'm sorry!
I'm sorry!
77
00:02:39,659 --> 00:02:40,658
Aah! Aah!
78
00:02:40,660 --> 00:02:41,659
Ooh! Ooh!
79
00:02:41,661 --> 00:02:43,661
Aah! Ah!
80
00:02:43,663 --> 00:02:44,662
No, I'm sorry!
81
00:02:44,664 --> 00:02:45,663
I'm sorry! Stop!
82
00:02:45,665 --> 00:02:46,664
Stop!
83
00:02:46,666 --> 00:02:48,366
You're ruining
My tuxedo!
84
00:02:48,368 --> 00:02:50,101
Stop!
85
00:02:50,103 --> 00:02:52,070
Dick,
I made breakfast!
86
00:02:52,072 --> 00:02:54,172
Dick, are you
All right?
87
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:55,306
Oh, no, mary,
88
00:02:55,308 --> 00:02:57,675
I had another one
Of those horrible
Dreams!
89
00:02:57,677 --> 00:02:58,910
What happened?
90
00:02:58,912 --> 00:03:00,111
We were getting married.
91
00:03:00,113 --> 00:03:01,446
Thank you.
92
00:03:01,448 --> 00:03:02,581
No, no.
93
00:03:02,583 --> 00:03:03,715
No, that was
The good part,
94
00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:05,183
But then my family
Showed up.
95
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:07,452
Oh. Don't tell me.
They objected.
96
00:03:07,454 --> 00:03:09,587
Well...
They had issues.
97
00:03:09,589 --> 00:03:11,089
It's all right.
98
00:03:11,091 --> 00:03:15,093
I've prepared a short speech
Just in case they did.
99
00:03:15,095 --> 00:03:17,595
It's just basically
2 words,
100
00:03:17,597 --> 00:03:19,531
And one of them's "Off."
101
00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:20,832
Zmary--
102
00:03:20,834 --> 00:03:22,667
Mary--
103
00:03:22,669 --> 00:03:24,669
I think I made
A big mistake.
104
00:03:24,671 --> 00:03:27,072
I should never have
Let them go off
Without me,
105
00:03:27,074 --> 00:03:29,073
Uh, on vacation.
106
00:03:29,075 --> 00:03:31,409
Well, until
They get back,
107
00:03:31,411 --> 00:03:33,711
Can't we just
Enjoy our time alone?
108
00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:34,712
[sobs]
109
00:03:34,714 --> 00:03:36,548
Alone?
110
00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:39,851
Dick, are you having
Second thoughts about us?
111
00:03:39,853 --> 00:03:41,420
About us?
Oh, no, mary.
112
00:03:41,422 --> 00:03:43,054
I don't know
What I'd do
Without you.
113
00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:44,522
You're the only thing
Keeping me sane.
114
00:03:44,524 --> 00:03:45,691
Ohh!
115
00:03:45,693 --> 00:03:48,894
And it's
A full-time job.
116
00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:50,562
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
117
00:03:52,199 --> 00:03:55,067
I'm going to get ready
For work.
118
00:03:55,069 --> 00:03:56,668
Ya crazy lug.
119
00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:59,471
Ha ha ha ha ha!
120
00:03:59,473 --> 00:04:01,939
[crying]
121
00:04:03,777 --> 00:04:06,344
I miss you all so much.
122
00:04:09,749 --> 00:04:12,551
And my oatmeal is so lumpy.
123
00:04:50,291 --> 00:04:52,223
Uh, welcome back, class.
124
00:04:52,225 --> 00:04:53,792
Uh, before we begin,
125
00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:55,927
I'd like to hear
What everybody did
126
00:04:55,929 --> 00:04:56,995
Over their break.
127
00:04:56,997 --> 00:04:57,929
Uh, bug?
128
00:04:59,099 --> 00:05:00,098
Me?
129
00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:03,001
Uh, w-well, I spent
A lot of time
130
00:05:03,003 --> 00:05:04,536
In a cabin in the woods
With my folks--
131
00:05:04,538 --> 00:05:07,139
That's nice. Caryn?
132
00:05:07,141 --> 00:05:08,640
Oh, uh, well,
133
00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:11,143
I went to the grand canyon
With my brother and sister
And--
134
00:05:11,145 --> 00:05:14,346
Oh, enough about
Your damn families!
135
00:05:14,348 --> 00:05:16,214
Didn't anybody
Spend the break alone,
136
00:05:16,216 --> 00:05:18,683
Watching reruns
And eating cheese doodles
137
00:05:18,685 --> 00:05:20,385
While an unfathomable
Emptiness
138
00:05:20,387 --> 00:05:23,288
Permeated
Their shriveled souls?
139
00:05:23,290 --> 00:05:26,391
I saw booty call
On pay-per-view.
140
00:05:26,393 --> 00:05:29,695
Don't try to cheer me up,
Leon. It won't work.
141
00:05:29,697 --> 00:05:32,564
Is there something you'd like
To talk about, dr. Solomon?
142
00:05:32,566 --> 00:05:34,066
Talk about?
With you, leon?
143
00:05:34,068 --> 00:05:36,001
Ha ha ha ha!
144
00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:38,370
Well, you know
I am a psych major...
145
00:05:38,372 --> 00:05:40,639
Now.
146
00:05:40,641 --> 00:05:41,673
You are?
147
00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:44,976
Well, then...
148
00:05:44,978 --> 00:05:47,045
Help me out.
149
00:05:47,047 --> 00:05:49,748
I've made
A horrible,
Horrible mistake,
150
00:05:49,750 --> 00:05:52,417
And I can't stop
Hating myself
For making it.
151
00:05:52,419 --> 00:05:54,419
Well, you know,
Dr. Solomon,
152
00:05:54,421 --> 00:05:55,987
A person
Should never be sad
153
00:05:55,989 --> 00:05:57,889
For the mistakes
He's made.
154
00:05:57,891 --> 00:05:59,891
Only for the mistakes
He's about to make.
155
00:05:59,893 --> 00:06:02,827
Leon,
That's beautiful.
156
00:06:02,829 --> 00:06:06,431
It also explains
Why you always
Seem so sad.
157
00:06:08,135 --> 00:06:09,634
Thank you, leon.
158
00:06:09,636 --> 00:06:11,636
You've made it
All so clear.
159
00:06:11,638 --> 00:06:14,071
I've got to learn
To let go,
160
00:06:14,073 --> 00:06:16,141
To move forward and
Focus on the thing
161
00:06:16,143 --> 00:06:17,909
That's
Most important
In my life.
162
00:06:17,911 --> 00:06:20,311
[screeching]
Me!
163
00:06:25,251 --> 00:06:28,252
You guys remember
When I thought
Our brains were melting?
164
00:06:28,254 --> 00:06:29,754
You remember that?
165
00:06:29,756 --> 00:06:30,755
[chuckles]
166
00:06:30,757 --> 00:06:33,959
Well, it turns out
We were just dreaming.
167
00:06:33,961 --> 00:06:35,961
But, hey, none of you
Caught it either.
168
00:06:35,963 --> 00:06:39,865
I mean, it was pretty stupid
On all our parts,
Especially your parts.
169
00:06:39,867 --> 00:06:41,366
I'm not taking
The blame on this one!
170
00:06:41,368 --> 00:06:42,868
[horn honks]
Ooh! Ooh!
171
00:06:46,439 --> 00:06:49,007
I'm sorry.
Let's not fight.
172
00:06:49,009 --> 00:06:51,442
I miss you...
173
00:06:51,444 --> 00:06:53,478
With all my heart.
174
00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:57,215
I've come here every night
Hoping you'd returned...
175
00:06:57,217 --> 00:06:58,716
But you never have.
176
00:06:58,718 --> 00:07:02,720
And so I've
Come to a decision.
177
00:07:02,722 --> 00:07:04,722
Sally, harry, tommy,
178
00:07:04,724 --> 00:07:08,526
I can't go on
Torturing myself anymore.
179
00:07:08,528 --> 00:07:10,728
I have to move forward
With my life,
180
00:07:10,730 --> 00:07:13,731
The life
I've chosen with mary.
181
00:07:13,733 --> 00:07:16,734
I hope you understand.
182
00:07:16,736 --> 00:07:19,070
And so good-bye.
183
00:07:19,072 --> 00:07:21,239
Good-bye, sally.
184
00:07:21,241 --> 00:07:23,241
Good-bye, tommy.
185
00:07:23,243 --> 00:07:25,443
Good-bye, harry.
186
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:26,978
Harry:
Good-bye, dick!
187
00:07:29,283 --> 00:07:31,283
It's almost as if
I could hear you.
188
00:07:31,285 --> 00:07:33,584
Harry, crying:
It sure is!
189
00:07:34,754 --> 00:07:36,188
Harry!
190
00:07:36,190 --> 00:07:37,189
You're back!
191
00:07:37,191 --> 00:07:38,923
You're all back!
192
00:07:38,925 --> 00:07:41,625
Oh, I missed you all
So much!
193
00:07:41,627 --> 00:07:43,328
Oh, sally!
194
00:07:43,330 --> 00:07:44,829
Oh, harry!
195
00:07:44,831 --> 00:07:45,830
Tommy!
196
00:07:45,832 --> 00:07:47,466
Ohh!
197
00:07:47,468 --> 00:07:50,134
A woman I've
Never seen before!
198
00:07:52,038 --> 00:07:53,572
Who's this?!
199
00:07:53,574 --> 00:07:55,273
The big giant head
Sent her.
200
00:07:55,275 --> 00:07:57,075
Dick, I'd like you
To meet...
201
00:07:57,077 --> 00:07:58,343
Your new wife!
202
00:07:58,345 --> 00:08:00,812
My wife?!
203
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:03,548
Hi, honey, I'm home!
204
00:08:05,886 --> 00:08:07,652
Family meeting!
205
00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:09,154
Family meeting!
206
00:08:09,156 --> 00:08:11,456
No, not you.
207
00:08:11,458 --> 00:08:13,091
That is not my wife.
208
00:08:13,093 --> 00:08:14,092
So? I'm
Not your sister.
209
00:08:14,094 --> 00:08:15,293
Yeah, and I'm
Not your brother.
210
00:08:15,295 --> 00:08:16,527
He's certainly
Not my uncle.
211
00:08:16,529 --> 00:08:17,796
And I'm not
His aunt.
212
00:08:17,798 --> 00:08:18,797
I'm not
His father.
213
00:08:18,799 --> 00:08:19,998
[all talking at once]
214
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,800
You see? This woman
Is tearing
This family apart!
215
00:08:21,802 --> 00:08:23,234
That's it.
Meeting adjourned.
216
00:08:23,236 --> 00:08:25,237
That woman
Is not my wife.
I'm engaged to mary.
217
00:08:25,239 --> 00:08:27,138
Dick, you're gonna
Have to forget about her.
218
00:08:27,140 --> 00:08:28,472
No, this can't
Be happening.
219
00:08:28,474 --> 00:08:29,807
This cannot
Be happening.
220
00:08:29,809 --> 00:08:31,309
It's got to be
Another crazy dream.
221
00:08:31,311 --> 00:08:32,344
It's not a dream, dick.
222
00:08:32,346 --> 00:08:33,345
I don't believe you.
223
00:08:33,347 --> 00:08:35,513
I still
Don't believe you.
224
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:36,815
I'll never
Believe you!
225
00:08:36,817 --> 00:08:39,484
All right, all right!
I believe you!
I believe you!
226
00:08:39,486 --> 00:08:41,152
Wife: can I
Rub that for you?
227
00:08:41,154 --> 00:08:42,420
Oh, leave me alone.
228
00:08:42,422 --> 00:08:44,088
Yes, dear.
229
00:08:44,090 --> 00:08:45,323
Go away!
230
00:08:45,325 --> 00:08:46,424
Thank you!
231
00:08:46,426 --> 00:08:48,927
Uh, look, dick,
Here's the deal.
232
00:08:48,929 --> 00:08:52,196
The big giant head
Thinks your pursuit
Of that blonde wench
233
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:53,732
Is distracting you
From your duties.
234
00:08:53,734 --> 00:08:56,067
How does he know so much
About my wench?
235
00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:58,069
He summoned us
Before him.
236
00:08:58,071 --> 00:09:00,271
He made us wear
The truth belt.
237
00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:02,773
The one with the buzzer?
238
00:09:02,775 --> 00:09:04,042
Bzzz!
239
00:09:05,111 --> 00:09:06,210
It was
Horrible, dick.
240
00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:07,211
So you caved,
Lieutenant?
241
00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:08,212
Yes!
242
00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:09,380
You just
Brought her here?
243
00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:10,648
It was either that
Or the big giant head
244
00:09:10,650 --> 00:09:12,183
Was going to
Have you sucked back
To the home planet.
245
00:09:12,185 --> 00:09:13,218
Then I'd
Rather be sucked!
246
00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:14,486
Oh, typical!
247
00:09:16,022 --> 00:09:19,090
You know, dick,
It might not be so bad.
248
00:09:19,092 --> 00:09:22,427
This woman,
She is 100% wife.
249
00:09:22,429 --> 00:09:24,529
I mean, all she read
On the way over was
250
00:09:24,531 --> 00:09:27,131
the joy of cooking
And the joy of sex.
251
00:09:27,133 --> 00:09:30,168
This car is meshuggah!
252
00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:33,038
Oh, yeah.
And the joy of yiddish.
253
00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:37,241
Did you guys realize
That we have 3 holes
In our heads?
254
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:38,242
5.
255
00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:39,244
3.
256
00:09:39,246 --> 00:09:40,845
2 here
And then this one.
257
00:09:40,847 --> 00:09:42,947
Feel the sides
Of your head.
258
00:09:42,949 --> 00:09:43,948
[gasps]
259
00:09:43,950 --> 00:09:45,750
What do you know?
260
00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:48,352
Just wait.
There's more.
261
00:09:51,991 --> 00:09:53,491
Isn't she adorable?
262
00:09:53,493 --> 00:09:54,992
We've been
Calling her janet.
263
00:09:54,994 --> 00:09:56,394
Well, most of us have.
264
00:09:56,396 --> 00:09:58,463
I'm telling you,
She looks like
A zippy--
265
00:09:58,465 --> 00:09:59,831
Harry, no!
I've been telling you--
266
00:09:59,833 --> 00:10:01,332
Now that's enough!
267
00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:02,833
I've heard enough.
268
00:10:02,835 --> 00:10:04,936
Get in the car.
We're ditching
This woman.
269
00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:06,237
We can't do that.
270
00:10:06,239 --> 00:10:07,471
Well, of course we can.
I'll just put it
In drive,
271
00:10:07,473 --> 00:10:08,773
And we'll fly
Like the wind!
272
00:10:08,775 --> 00:10:09,774
Tommy.
273
00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:10,775
Tell him.
274
00:10:10,777 --> 00:10:13,177
She is the big
Giant head's niece.
275
00:10:18,351 --> 00:10:20,785
Well...So what?
276
00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:22,320
What's the worst thing
That can happen
277
00:10:22,322 --> 00:10:23,621
If we leave her here?
278
00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:25,122
Big giant
Court-martials.
279
00:10:25,124 --> 00:10:27,124
Followed by
Big giant executions.
280
00:10:27,126 --> 00:10:30,761
And then
4 tiny little
Funerals.
281
00:10:30,763 --> 00:10:32,263
I don't care.
282
00:10:32,265 --> 00:10:33,964
I've chosen love
Over death before.
283
00:10:33,966 --> 00:10:35,165
Yeah, well, I haven't.
284
00:10:35,167 --> 00:10:36,534
Janet, get in the car!
285
00:10:36,536 --> 00:10:38,036
Wh--you--wh--
286
00:10:38,038 --> 00:10:39,303
Oh--
287
00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:40,905
Damn!
288
00:10:44,044 --> 00:10:45,476
Oww!
289
00:10:46,847 --> 00:10:48,146
Some wife.
290
00:10:53,487 --> 00:10:55,854
Oh! Food!
291
00:10:55,856 --> 00:10:57,822
God, I'm starving!
292
00:10:59,359 --> 00:11:01,292
Ah.
293
00:11:01,294 --> 00:11:03,528
You waited.
294
00:11:03,530 --> 00:11:05,196
I knew you would.
295
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:10,601
Ohhh!
296
00:11:10,603 --> 00:11:13,004
It's our first home.
297
00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:15,507
I love it!
298
00:11:15,509 --> 00:11:17,141
Where's our bedroom?
299
00:11:17,143 --> 00:11:20,645
Oh, no, no, uh,
That won't be necessary.
300
00:11:20,647 --> 00:11:23,648
No! I want to be
The best wife ever!
301
00:11:23,650 --> 00:11:26,451
Well, uh...
Good luck to you.
Bye, now.
302
00:11:26,453 --> 00:11:28,953
No, don't fight it,
Sweetie.
303
00:11:28,955 --> 00:11:31,021
Let me love you.
304
00:11:34,393 --> 00:11:36,460
Where's our boudoir?
305
00:11:36,462 --> 00:11:38,462
Oh--oh--
Oh, well, uh--uh--
306
00:11:38,464 --> 00:11:41,065
Long story short,
We don't have one.
307
00:11:41,067 --> 00:11:42,100
Ok, then.
308
00:11:42,102 --> 00:11:43,767
Whoa!
309
00:11:49,509 --> 00:11:50,508
Uhh! Ohh!
310
00:11:50,510 --> 00:11:51,842
Ohh!
311
00:11:51,844 --> 00:11:52,843
Ok!
312
00:11:52,845 --> 00:11:54,845
That was fun,
And you were good.
313
00:11:54,847 --> 00:11:56,381
I was amazing.
We're done.
314
00:11:56,383 --> 00:11:57,382
Now...
315
00:11:57,384 --> 00:11:58,883
Go enjoy a sandwich.
316
00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:00,484
Ok, then!
317
00:12:04,257 --> 00:12:06,557
Ssssspank me.
318
00:12:08,195 --> 00:12:09,694
There's
Nothing to eat.
319
00:12:09,696 --> 00:12:12,197
Well, that's good,
'cause there's
No clean dishes.
320
00:12:12,199 --> 00:12:13,698
God, this place
Is a pigsty.
321
00:12:13,700 --> 00:12:15,066
Yeah, you better
Get on it.
322
00:12:16,303 --> 00:12:18,502
Oh, thanks, tommy.
That's a nice welcome ho--
323
00:12:22,442 --> 00:12:23,608
Janet.
324
00:12:23,610 --> 00:12:26,244
I love this room.
325
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:27,746
Oh, what's not to love?
326
00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:29,748
Did you know
That this is where I do
327
00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:31,249
All of my cooking
And cleaning?
328
00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:33,752
I mean, there is
No greater honor
For a woman.
329
00:12:33,754 --> 00:12:35,553
Me, I can't
Get enough of it.
330
00:12:35,555 --> 00:12:38,556
In fact, I'm gonna
Clean some dishes
Right now.
331
00:12:38,558 --> 00:12:40,058
Ha ha ha!
332
00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:41,859
Oh, yeah!
333
00:12:43,195 --> 00:12:45,496
Oh, but I'm the wife.
334
00:12:45,498 --> 00:12:47,699
Shouldn't I be able
To do the dishes?
335
00:12:47,701 --> 00:12:50,168
No. This is
Too much fun, ok?
336
00:12:50,170 --> 00:12:51,302
Please!
337
00:12:51,304 --> 00:12:52,904
Ok, if you insist.
338
00:12:52,906 --> 00:12:55,306
But I still
Get to do the floors!
339
00:12:55,308 --> 00:12:56,307
Whee!
340
00:12:56,309 --> 00:12:57,308
[humming]
341
00:12:57,310 --> 00:12:58,810
No, no, no, no, no!
342
00:12:58,812 --> 00:13:01,312
I think the floors
Are my turf now.
343
00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:02,814
Ok.
344
00:13:02,816 --> 00:13:06,517
There is no way you're
Getting this job, sister.
345
00:13:06,519 --> 00:13:09,053
But you're the wife.
346
00:13:09,055 --> 00:13:12,490
Good-bye, kitchen.
I sure am gonna miss ya.
347
00:13:12,492 --> 00:13:14,659
♪ I'm
Gonna love you ♪
348
00:13:14,661 --> 00:13:15,660
♪ like nobody's
Loved you... ♪
349
00:13:15,662 --> 00:13:17,428
She's doing
The kitchen.
350
00:13:17,430 --> 00:13:18,863
Score!
351
00:13:19,932 --> 00:13:21,332
That's just great.
352
00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:23,067
Oh, come on, dick.
I'm sorry.
353
00:13:23,069 --> 00:13:25,403
You know we wouldn't
Have brought her
Back here
354
00:13:25,405 --> 00:13:26,837
Unless
We were forced to.
355
00:13:26,839 --> 00:13:27,906
Yeah, I guess not.
356
00:13:27,908 --> 00:13:29,340
At least we're all
Together again, right?
357
00:13:29,342 --> 00:13:30,508
Yeah. And what the hell?
358
00:13:30,510 --> 00:13:34,479
We've been through
Tougher times before, huh?
359
00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:35,480
Oh, guys!
360
00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:37,348
Ohh!
361
00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:39,017
Tv: are there aliens
Among us?
362
00:13:39,019 --> 00:13:41,352
Tonight local residents
Report seeing
363
00:13:41,354 --> 00:13:44,222
Mysterious lights in the sky
Over the old sweeney farm.
364
00:13:44,224 --> 00:13:46,724
Whoa! That's the place
Where we landed!
365
00:13:46,726 --> 00:13:48,126
Ok, all right.
366
00:13:48,128 --> 00:13:49,760
We have nothing
To worry about.
367
00:13:49,762 --> 00:13:51,396
Sally cleaned up
The landing site.
368
00:13:51,398 --> 00:13:53,364
You said you were gonna
Clean up the landing site.
369
00:13:53,366 --> 00:13:54,866
No, no,
No, no, no, no.
370
00:13:54,868 --> 00:13:58,036
I said I was
Going to clean up
The landing site.
371
00:13:58,038 --> 00:13:59,470
So you cleaned up
The landing site.
372
00:13:59,472 --> 00:14:00,471
No.
373
00:14:00,473 --> 00:14:01,472
[gasps]
374
00:14:01,474 --> 00:14:02,473
Aah!
375
00:14:02,475 --> 00:14:03,474
Oh, god!
376
00:14:03,476 --> 00:14:04,475
Hurry!
377
00:14:04,477 --> 00:14:05,476
Hurry!
378
00:14:05,478 --> 00:14:06,677
Hurry up!
Get over there!
379
00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:20,057
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
380
00:14:21,528 --> 00:14:22,927
Oh, don!
381
00:14:22,929 --> 00:14:23,928
[gasping]
382
00:14:23,930 --> 00:14:24,995
Sally!
383
00:14:24,997 --> 00:14:27,665
You made my heart
Jump right into my mouth.
384
00:14:27,667 --> 00:14:28,600
Ohh!
385
00:14:30,003 --> 00:14:31,402
Swallow.
386
00:14:37,977 --> 00:14:39,544
Nice flashlight.
387
00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:42,580
I was about to say
The same thing to you.
388
00:14:42,582 --> 00:14:44,081
Sally,
Where have you been?
389
00:14:44,083 --> 00:14:46,351
I thought we had
A good thing going.
390
00:14:46,353 --> 00:14:47,852
Oh, don, we did.
I just--
391
00:14:47,854 --> 00:14:50,955
I needed to take
A little time, you know,
To think things over.
392
00:14:50,957 --> 00:14:53,458
I just went
On one those
Spontaneous trips,
393
00:14:53,460 --> 00:14:54,759
You know, to,
Um, uh...
394
00:14:54,761 --> 00:14:56,094
Sea world.
Turkey.
395
00:14:56,096 --> 00:14:57,729
Yeah, the sea world
In turkey.
396
00:14:57,731 --> 00:15:00,164
Funny, I didn't know
There was a sea world
In turkey.
397
00:15:01,801 --> 00:15:04,836
There's sea worlds
Everywhere, don.
398
00:15:04,838 --> 00:15:07,171
You just got to know
Where to look.
399
00:15:08,341 --> 00:15:10,842
Wh-wh-what are you
All doing out here
400
00:15:10,844 --> 00:15:12,844
In the dead
Of the night?
401
00:15:12,846 --> 00:15:16,347
Oh, well, tommy and I
Were just going to go down
To old man sweeney's creek
402
00:15:16,349 --> 00:15:17,849
And look for tadpoles
403
00:15:17,851 --> 00:15:20,818
While harry here
Kept you busy.
Come on, tommy.
404
00:15:24,023 --> 00:15:25,189
Circle.
405
00:15:25,191 --> 00:15:27,058
Yeah. Sure is.
406
00:15:27,060 --> 00:15:28,559
You know, harry,
407
00:15:28,561 --> 00:15:31,962
There are some crackpots
Saying that this is
The work of ufos.
408
00:15:31,964 --> 00:15:33,097
Hah.
409
00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:36,366
As if there could be
Intelligent life out there.
410
00:15:36,368 --> 00:15:38,035
What a load of hooey.
411
00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:40,738
Hooey?
412
00:15:40,740 --> 00:15:43,674
Oh, yeah. So much bunk,
You can make a bed out of it.
413
00:15:43,676 --> 00:15:45,576
Oh, it's bunk, is it?
414
00:15:45,578 --> 00:15:47,712
Any moron with
Half a brain knows that.
415
00:15:47,714 --> 00:15:49,714
Half a brain.
I see.
416
00:15:49,716 --> 00:15:51,048
Well, you know, don,
417
00:15:51,050 --> 00:15:53,550
It's a big universe
Out there,
418
00:15:53,552 --> 00:15:55,720
And not just
Small big.
419
00:15:55,722 --> 00:15:57,188
Big big.
420
00:15:57,190 --> 00:15:59,690
Why, in the belletrix
System alone
421
00:15:59,692 --> 00:16:02,560
There are over
44 trillion planets.
422
00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:04,562
44 trillion?
423
00:16:04,564 --> 00:16:08,599
That's the biggest number
I've ever heard in my life.
424
00:16:08,601 --> 00:16:12,369
Yeah. So don't you think
On just one
Of those planets
425
00:16:12,371 --> 00:16:15,139
That there might
Be some species--
Smarter than you--
426
00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:18,609
That would be capable
Of building a spaceship?
427
00:16:19,845 --> 00:16:22,346
Statistically, I suppose.
428
00:16:22,348 --> 00:16:26,350
Maybe there is more to this
Than meets the eye.
429
00:16:26,352 --> 00:16:27,785
Thank you, harry.
430
00:16:27,787 --> 00:16:29,187
No.
431
00:16:29,189 --> 00:16:31,255
Thank you, don.
432
00:16:34,593 --> 00:16:36,294
Aliens, huh?
433
00:16:40,733 --> 00:16:42,399
Aah!
434
00:16:42,401 --> 00:16:43,701
Uhh!
435
00:16:43,703 --> 00:16:45,203
It's just wheat.
436
00:16:45,205 --> 00:16:46,204
Just wheat.
437
00:16:46,206 --> 00:16:47,805
What's that?!
438
00:16:47,807 --> 00:16:48,739
Huh?!
439
00:16:52,912 --> 00:16:55,646
So, janet, what do you
Call these things
We're eating?
440
00:16:55,648 --> 00:16:57,415
Pancakes.
441
00:16:57,417 --> 00:16:59,217
These are pancakes?
442
00:16:59,219 --> 00:17:01,652
I thought pancakes
Were burnt globs of dough
443
00:17:01,654 --> 00:17:04,188
That explode with flour
When you bite into them,
444
00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:05,256
Sally.
445
00:17:05,258 --> 00:17:06,657
Me, too.
446
00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:11,863
Good morning, dear.
447
00:17:11,865 --> 00:17:14,866
I'm just putting
The finishing touches
On your lunch.
448
00:17:14,868 --> 00:17:16,868
Ow, wow, dick.
You look terrible.
449
00:17:16,870 --> 00:17:18,369
I feel even worse.
450
00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:19,970
Why? What's wrong?
451
00:17:19,972 --> 00:17:21,472
All night long,
452
00:17:21,474 --> 00:17:24,341
Janet kept trying to touch
My wacky place.
453
00:17:26,846 --> 00:17:29,247
I wound up sleeping
Behind the tv.
454
00:17:29,249 --> 00:17:31,515
All I could think of
Was how much I wanted
To be with mary.
455
00:17:31,517 --> 00:17:32,516
Shh!
Shh!
456
00:17:32,518 --> 00:17:34,518
You've got to give
Janet a chance.
457
00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:36,086
I don't gotta do nothin'!
458
00:17:37,156 --> 00:17:38,222
Janet.
459
00:17:38,224 --> 00:17:39,256
Yes, dear.
460
00:17:39,258 --> 00:17:40,257
You know this whole thing
461
00:17:40,259 --> 00:17:41,292
Where I'm supposed
To be your husband
462
00:17:41,294 --> 00:17:42,560
And you're
Supposed to be my wife?
463
00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:44,595
Of course.
It's never
Gonna work out.
464
00:17:44,597 --> 00:17:48,099
And the sooner
We face up to that,
The happier we'll be.
465
00:17:48,101 --> 00:17:49,333
There now.
466
00:17:49,335 --> 00:17:51,335
Don't you
Feel better?
467
00:17:51,337 --> 00:17:53,838
[crying]
468
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:55,339
What's happening?
469
00:17:55,341 --> 00:17:57,141
I'm all wet!
470
00:17:57,143 --> 00:17:58,342
No, stop.
Don't do that.
471
00:17:58,344 --> 00:17:59,510
No, stop! Stop!
472
00:17:59,512 --> 00:18:00,778
I'm leaking!
473
00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:01,845
Sally!
474
00:18:01,847 --> 00:18:03,981
Oh, it's fine,
Honey. It's normal.
475
00:18:03,983 --> 00:18:07,151
Go dry your eyes,
And we'll shop for
Shoes, ok, honey?
476
00:18:07,153 --> 00:18:10,655
[janet sobbing]
477
00:18:10,657 --> 00:18:13,057
You cannot talk
To her like that!
We'll all get incinerated!
478
00:18:13,059 --> 00:18:15,760
Well, I think
We all love mary enough
To make that sacrifice.
479
00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:17,227
No!
No!
Am I right?
480
00:18:17,229 --> 00:18:18,428
Wh--wh--
481
00:18:18,430 --> 00:18:20,631
Well, I do.
482
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:24,034
Oh, my god!
483
00:18:24,036 --> 00:18:25,369
What are these?
484
00:18:25,371 --> 00:18:26,370
Pancakes.
485
00:18:26,372 --> 00:18:27,471
Janet's pancakes.
486
00:18:27,473 --> 00:18:30,007
These are pancakes?
I thought pancakes were--
487
00:18:30,009 --> 00:18:31,041
Me, too!
488
00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:34,411
Ok?!
489
00:18:40,319 --> 00:18:41,452
Hey, dick--
490
00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:43,554
It's not
What it looks like!
491
00:18:43,556 --> 00:18:45,656
It looks wonderful!
492
00:18:45,658 --> 00:18:49,560
I've never seen you
Bring your lunch
In a picnic basket before.
493
00:18:49,562 --> 00:18:52,062
Well, I've never seen you
In a thong bikini before,
494
00:18:52,064 --> 00:18:54,832
But there's a first time
For everything, right?
495
00:18:54,834 --> 00:18:56,901
No. What did you make?
496
00:18:56,903 --> 00:18:58,402
What did I make?
497
00:18:58,404 --> 00:19:01,738
W-w-well, that's a--
An easy enough, uh,
Question to answer.
498
00:19:01,740 --> 00:19:04,709
I'll just, uh,
Open it up
And show you.
499
00:19:04,711 --> 00:19:06,143
Peppered duck paté
500
00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:07,644
And wheat crackers,
501
00:19:07,646 --> 00:19:11,482
Uh, thai noodles,
Homemade chocolate-chunk
Cookies.
502
00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:13,017
Oh!
503
00:19:13,019 --> 00:19:14,185
A flower?
504
00:19:14,187 --> 00:19:15,686
Well, what's wrong
With your fiancé
505
00:19:15,688 --> 00:19:17,155
Bringing you
A flower?
506
00:19:17,157 --> 00:19:19,157
Oh, that's sweet.
507
00:19:19,159 --> 00:19:20,658
I'm sorry, mary.
508
00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:22,660
I know that, uh, lately
509
00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:25,663
I-I've been acting
A little strange.
510
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:26,831
Lately?
511
00:19:26,833 --> 00:19:28,833
Ok. For the last
Few minutes.
512
00:19:28,835 --> 00:19:30,835
But I'm going to
Make it up to you.
513
00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:31,836
Nina!
514
00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:32,937
Yes?
515
00:19:32,939 --> 00:19:34,839
Will you make
A reservation
For 2 tonight
516
00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:35,973
At la petite orange?
517
00:19:35,975 --> 00:19:37,275
La petite orange?
518
00:19:37,277 --> 00:19:38,609
oui.
519
00:19:38,611 --> 00:19:40,178
What did he do?
520
00:19:40,180 --> 00:19:41,879
Nothing.
521
00:19:41,881 --> 00:19:43,881
Oh, yeah,
He did something,
All right.
522
00:19:43,883 --> 00:19:45,383
[sputters]
523
00:19:45,385 --> 00:19:47,385
All I've done
Is to love mary
524
00:19:47,387 --> 00:19:49,620
More than any other
Woman in this world.
525
00:19:49,622 --> 00:19:51,622
No matter how good
Their pancakes are.
526
00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:54,091
Have you ever done that?
527
00:19:54,093 --> 00:19:56,194
Yeah.
528
00:19:56,196 --> 00:19:58,162
Have you ever done that?
529
00:19:58,164 --> 00:19:59,296
Oh, yeah.
530
00:20:01,267 --> 00:20:04,334
Have you ever done that?
531
00:20:08,841 --> 00:20:10,708
Yeah.
532
00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:12,310
Oh, dick!
533
00:20:12,312 --> 00:20:14,078
Can we do this?
534
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:15,079
Ohh!
535
00:20:15,081 --> 00:20:16,314
No!
536
00:20:16,316 --> 00:20:18,549
Mrs. Dubcek, what
Are you doing here?
537
00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:20,384
I'm talking
To your...Wife.
538
00:20:20,386 --> 00:20:23,387
Well, I think you two
Have talked long enough.
539
00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:24,821
Janet, please!
540
00:20:24,823 --> 00:20:27,725
I can get into my pajamas
In my own time!
541
00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:28,726
Yes, dear.
542
00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:30,294
You know, a woman
543
00:20:30,296 --> 00:20:32,997
Doesn't have to pretend
That she's your wife
To sleep over,
544
00:20:32,999 --> 00:20:35,832
Unless that's what
Spikes your punch.
545
00:20:35,834 --> 00:20:37,501
Janet, get off me!
546
00:20:37,503 --> 00:20:40,504
Go make me
An english muffin pizza.
547
00:20:40,506 --> 00:20:41,771
Yes, my little kreplach!
548
00:20:41,773 --> 00:20:42,706
Ooh!
549
00:20:44,777 --> 00:20:47,277
Listen up, everyone.
550
00:20:47,279 --> 00:20:48,779
I have a plan.
551
00:20:48,781 --> 00:20:50,147
I'll go get janet.
552
00:20:50,149 --> 00:20:51,148
No, no!
553
00:20:51,150 --> 00:20:53,050
It's a plan
To get rid of janet.
554
00:20:53,052 --> 00:20:54,552
Right. Nice save.
555
00:20:54,554 --> 00:20:57,555
Dick, you can't
Just kick her out.
556
00:20:57,557 --> 00:20:58,822
I know.
557
00:20:58,824 --> 00:21:00,824
But what if she
Wanted to leave?
558
00:21:00,826 --> 00:21:02,326
She doesn't
Want to leave.
559
00:21:02,328 --> 00:21:03,894
Not yet. But I think
I can change that.
560
00:21:03,896 --> 00:21:04,962
Watch. Watch...
561
00:21:04,964 --> 00:21:06,464
As I become
562
00:21:06,466 --> 00:21:10,067
The most obnoxious,
Repulsive creep
Any woman has ever met.
563
00:21:10,069 --> 00:21:13,237
Wow! The transformation
Is astounding.
564
00:21:13,239 --> 00:21:14,872
I'm impressed!
565
00:21:14,874 --> 00:21:16,307
I haven't done it yet!
566
00:21:16,309 --> 00:21:18,442
But I must start
Immediately.
567
00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:19,944
Harry,
Go pick up mary
568
00:21:19,946 --> 00:21:22,446
And take her
To la petite orange.
569
00:21:22,448 --> 00:21:23,614
Here's a 20.
570
00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:25,616
I think it's going
To cost more than that.
571
00:21:25,618 --> 00:21:26,783
Well, you
Won't be eating.
572
00:21:26,785 --> 00:21:27,852
All righty.
573
00:21:27,854 --> 00:21:30,121
Your mini pizza is ready.
574
00:21:30,123 --> 00:21:31,555
Uh, coming, dear.
575
00:21:34,860 --> 00:21:37,093
It begins.
576
00:21:37,095 --> 00:21:39,697
Captioned by the national
Captioning institute
--www.Ncicap.Org--
40465
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
