All language subtitles for 3rd Rock from the Sun - S02E23 - Fifteen Minutes of Dick (1080p x265 EDGE2020)_track3_[eng]

I just cannot believe
That they moved us
To this lousy table.

Yeah, I can see
The ice in the urinals,
For crying out loud.

That's it, I'm gonna go talk
To the guy in the monkey suit
And find out what's goin' on.

Well, everybody,
I'd like to
Propose a toast.

Uh, no.
No, harry.
Let me.

( clears throat )
To someone who has been
An inspiration to us all

And a beacon of light
In a dark

And ominous fog
Of mediocrity--

To me.

- can I see it?
- I've been immortalized.

Ah, yep.
It's not just anybody

Who gets to be
In the pendleton
Yearbook.

Only those people
Who work at
Or attend pendleton.

Okay, well, marizio said
He can't give us
Our table back.

He's saving it
For someone important,
Some bigwig.

A bigger wig than I?

Whoa!
Check it out, you guys.
It's mark hamill.

I cannot believe we had
To give up our table
For luke skywalker.

“ooh, look at me.
I'm so important.

My father's
Darth vader.”

He is?

I'm gonna go over there
And I'm gonna get
Our table back.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Remember, sally,

He's a celebrity
And therefore
Our superior.

( scoffs )

- uh, you're
Mark hamill, right?
- yes.

- okay, well, look, I hate
To do this, but I really--
- no problem at all. It's okay.

- here we go.
- um, what are you doing?

Well, signing
My name.

( scoffs )
I don't need
Proof, pal!

I know it's you!

Move over, sweetie.
Get up!

All right,
Here's what's gonna
Happen, okay?

My family is
Gonna sit here

And you guys are gonna
Sit over there.

( making whirring sounds )

Hey, how about this: I'll give
You a copy of my new book,
And we'll call it even.

Okay, how about this?
Why don't you book
Over to that table?

Look, I'm sorry.
I'm not moving
Anywhere.

( chuckles )
I disagree.

What--

He seems very
Down-to-earth.

Ooh!
( chuckles )
Scrappy.

May the force
Be with you, buddy!

( '50s rock music playing )

Hey, guys,
Guess who's on
The front page?

- ♪ ta-da ♪
Sally solomon.
- what?

“local woman
Sally solomon

Put her foot down for
The common man last night

Square on the chest of

star wars: special edition
Star mark hamill.”

This is huge!
“said solomon,

'just because I'm
A nobody doesn't mean
I'm not somebody'.”

Wow, that sounds like
They're making you out to be
Some kind of hero or something.

That's nice, sally.

Not as nice as being
Published in the yearbook,
But it's...

( phone ringing )

Hello?
Yeah, she does.

What, today? Yeah, yeah.
Hold on, I'll ask her.

Uh, sally, they want you
To be on good afternoon,
rutherford.

That's my
Second-favorite show.

- what's your first favorite?
- good morning, rutherford.

Why are they making such
A big deal out of this thing?
This is a joke, right?

No, it's not
A joke at all.
We're superior beings.

The spotlight was
Bound to find us
Sooner or later.

She'll be there.

- in fact, they'll probably
Want to interview all of us.
- yeah.

They'll probably want
The perspective of the guy

Who spent the whole fight
Hiding in the ladies' room.

I was not hiding!

I was freshening up.

Host: when we come back,
We'll meet sally solomon,
Rutherford's newest hero.

Good afternoon,
Rutherford!

Clear!

- hi.
- hey.

- I'm a big fan.
- oh!

Now, is there anything
I can get you?
Soda, water, coffee--

Oh, no, I can get it,
Thanks. Hey, you know,
Enough already.

- oh, sally, there you are.
- dick, where have you been?

Putting on my own makeup,
For starters.

- where will I be sitting?
- who are you?

Oh, I'm dick solomon.
Perhaps you've read my book.

Why don't you go
Sit over there
On that couch

Underneath
The air conditioner.

Is that where you do
Emotional family
Reaction shots?

Uh, sure.

Sally solomon,
You took your
Table back.

Well, just 'cause
A guy's famous doesn't mean
He can walk on people.

( audience applauding,
cheering )

Woman:
we love you, sally!

Let's go to the phones.
You're on the air
With sally solomon.

Man:
uh, yeah, sally,
I just want to say,

to heck
with mark hamill,

you should be in
the next star track movie!

( audience applauding,
cheering )

No, I'm just
A homemaker.

just because you're
a nobody doesn't mean
you're not a somebody!

( audience applauding,
cheering )

Wow.

Okay, let's take
Another caller.
Go ahead.

Man, indian accent:
oh, my goodness, yes.

I am congratulating
miss sally solomon,

and I am wondering
if she can speak a bit about

the brave and,
some might say,
gorgeous person

who made
the reservations.

Thank you
Very much.

( low )
Oh, I think it's great.

( normal )
Well, hi, dick.
I saw the show.

Sally was wonderful.
She has such a presence.

Oh.

Yeah, that.

It's so exciting to see
Somebody you know on tv.

Yeah, jerry springer had
My uncle jennifer on once.

Well, I guess it's great
Being on television

If you're one of those people
That always has to be
Looked at-- you know,

One of those pathetic types
That always needs to be
The center of attention.

Hello!
I'm speaking over here!

- I'm sorry.
Did you say something?
- all I'm saying is,

There's something wrong
In this country when
People are fawned over

For attacking movie stars
While brilliant
Physics professors

Toil on in obscurity.

Isn't that what
The nobel prize is for?

Oh, please,
Don't get me started

On that vacuous
Popularity contest.

Oh, remember what
Andy warhol said.

What?
“I bet if I paint
This can of soup,

Some sucker will pay
A million dollars for it”?

After that. The thing
About everybody being
Famous for 15 minutes.

- fifteen minutes?
- this is sally's 15 minutes.
Let her enjoy them.

Fifteen minutes?
Oh.

Fame is so fleeting.

( chuckling maniacally )

Poor sally.

Hey, solomon,
That lady who decked
Luke skywalker

Has the same
Last name as you--
“solomon.”

- yeah, yeah,
She's my aunt.
- no way.

- actually, she is.
- you are such a liar!

- let's get him!
- wait, wait, wait!

Yes, I will tell her.

Okay, I'll tell her!

Tommy, I've been
Trying to call you
For two hours.

The phone's been
Ringing off the hook.

Everybody wants
To talk to sally.

That last guy was the manager
Of the scone zone.

They want to name
A latte after her.

Oh, those poor,
Misguided fools.

Even with a generous
Grace period,

Her 15 minutes
Were over hours ago.

What a great day!

Harry, could you do me
A favor and grab me
A mineral water?

- okay, sally.
- sally, when's dinner?

Oh, I ate.

- where?
- marizio's.

- marizio's?
- yeah, he called the station
Right after the show.

He said he felt awful
About how I was treated there.
Guess which table he gave me?

- no!
- yes!

While you were with marizio,
I've been acting like
Your stupid secretary.

I'll take those,
'cause from now on

I'm sally's
Stupid secretary.

( ringing )

Hello. Mm-hmm.

Well, it's kind of
Short notice.
Well, okay.

We'll expect you to send
A town car.

Oh! With a driver.
Okay.

This is big.

Sally,
You are throwing out
The first pitch

At the championship game
Of the rutherford
Senior citizens'

High-arc modified

Slow-pitch
World series.

I've always dreamed.

- I'll lay out your gown.
- just a minute, missy.

I think you're
Forgetting something--
Our dinner.

Tonight I'd like you
To make something
Stroganoff-y.

Mmm, I'm sorry,
But due to
A prior commitment,

Miss sullivan's
Dinner-making will
Have to be rescheduled.

Enough!

Lieutenant, as of right now,
I order you to be
No longer famous.

- you can't order that.
- think of the mission.

This is bigger than the mission!
I didn't ask for this mantle.

The people of rutherford
Need a sally solomon,

And it just so happens

I am sally solomon.

So I will be
Their sally solomon.
I can do no less.

Play ball!

Hi, hi, hi, hi.
More flowers for sally.

Gladiolas.
Very nice.

Hello, dubie.

Listen, be a love
And put them with
The others, would you?

Hi, boys. Sorry
To keep you waiting.

Now, sally, they just
Want to do an interview

And pop a few photos
Of you just being yourself.

Well, that's fine.
Why don't I just
Walk over

To my favorite chair
And relax like I always do.

I did some modeling
In my day.

'course, I had a very
Bad experience, though.

The runway stopped
And I didn't.

- out, out, out, out, out.
- why do I have to stay
In the kitchen?

The rutherford bugle
Is having a photo shoot

To capture the private
Side of sally solomon,

And we need to
Keep the public
Out of the way.

But-- but it's
My living room!

Dick, we're trying to
Create an atmosphere here--

You know, something
With a little less you.

( gasps )

Keep moving, boys!
We're losing light!

- don't they know that
I'm in the yearbook?
- boy, is this sucking.

Would you please

Keep it down, people?

“people!”

He called us
“people!”

No one...
Calls us “people”"

And then he screamed
Like a little girl.

- that's great, I love that.
- I've got a terrific idea
For a photo.

Sally, why don't you show them
How many little debbies

You can shove
Into your mouth at one time?

( gasps )

Yeah, why don't you
Let 'em take
A picture of you

In the kitchen,
Burning our dinner?

Why don't you take
A picture of her trying
To find a boyfriend?

Although it'd have to be
A long exposure.

Lies! Lies!

They're all lies!

Hey, sorry about our
Little misunderstanding
The other day, solomon.

I guess she really
Is your aunt.

Oh, yeah.
Yeah, whatever.

Yeah, must be
Pretty cool living
With a celebrity.

Yeah, you want to come
Under the bleachers and throw
Stuff at the soccer team?

Oh, I have a class
Right now, actually.

Oh. So now
Your aunt's on tv

And suddenly you're too cool
To hang out with us?

- let's get him!
- wait--

For god sakes, pepper,
Get out!

Look, it's that slutty little
Beagle from next door!

( whimpering )

Careful!
Don't let him in!

Run along, pepper.

I've been trying
To get him out
For an hour.

That must be
An awfully long time
In mary world,

Where 15 minutes
Lasts for five days!

- is this about sally?
- yes!

Do you think you could
Get her to speak at my
Rotary luncheon next week?

Harry won't return
My calls.

- oh, mary, you too?
- oh, dick,

Why are you so
Upset about this?
What do you want?

Fame! I want
To live forever,

Light up the sky
Like a flame-- fame!

Don't blame sally.

She punched out a star
And some glitter stuck
To her fist.

Could have happened
To anybody in the restaurant.

I never thought of that.

My god,
You're right!

Oh, mary!
( kisses )

How can I repay you?

Glad I could help.

No-oo!

Mark hamill!

Yes.

I'm sorry, sir.
There is a line.

And you have crossed it.
You're sitting at my table.

- what?
- prepare to be heaved
Into nonfiction.

- hey, hey,
Hey, hey. Security.
- uh, we don't have security.

Not so tough
Without “chew-bacon”
Around, are we?

- I think I can take him.
- thanks.

You know, just because
You're somebody

Doesn't mean
That I'm not...
Somebody else!

Well, now I see
How fame works.

When a woman stands up
To a celebrity,
She's a hero,

But when a man
Three times his size
Picks a fight with him

For no apparent reason,
Suddenly he's the bad guy.

It's just so unfair!

Uh, tommy,

Maybe we should get out
Of here and maybe go grab
A rusty burger or something.

Oh, well, I thought
You didn't want to
Be seen with me

'cause sally was
So famous.

Oh, let it go, tommy.
Sally is so over.

- she is?
- she is?

Yeah, now everyone's
Talking about that woman
In east rutherford

Who's living on
Nothing but spices.

- what, like paprika?
- probably.

- hide the paper!
Hide the paper!
- why?

Because sally's
Not in it.

Any phone calls?

- no.
- thank god.

Peace and quiet.
Peace and quiet.

Uh, harry, where are
The fresh flowers that
Come every morning?

The ones in there are wilted.
They did come this morning,
Didn't they?

Yes.

They came.
But they were mums.

And I know
You don't like mums,
And so I threw 'em out.

And that's
What happened.

You are good to me.

And now I must rest.

And to think that I wanted fame.
That could have been me.

It's so sad.
She was so big.

She still is big.

It's the planet
That got small.

Now if you'll
Excuse me,

( choking up )
Madam needs me.

( imitating lasers firing )

( screaming )

- ( knock at door )
- yes?

- harry: housekeeping.
- oh, come on in.

Mr. Hamill, I will not
Lie to you.

I am not
From housekeeping.

I'm here because
My sister,

Who is your biggest
Fan in the world,

Has only 72 hours to live!
( sobbing )

Gee, I'm so sorry.
I wish there was
Something I could do.

Actually, there is.

Come with me to old
Downtown rutherford,

Where you will
Be seen with her
In a crowded restaurant.

She then gets to
Pummel you and become
A media sweetheart.

I'll go get your bags.

Oh, this would be nice.
You can wear this.

( cries out )

Could you get
Somebody from security
Up right away?

What do you mean,
There isn't any?

The freakin' ewoks
At the sheraton had security!
Come on!

- mr. Hamill!
- he's getting out!

- mr. Hamill!
- help!

Man on tv:
we love you, sally!

Man #2: just because
you're a nobody doesn't
mean you're not somebody.

( clicks off,
rewinding )

Man:
we love you, sally!

Man #2: just because
you're a nobody doesn't
mean you're not somebody.

Sally.

- they did love me, didn't they?
- what are you doing up?

- the phone might ring.
- well, but it's
4:00 in the morning.

It's only 1:00
On the coast.

Sally, I know this must
Be very painful.

How could you know?

You'll never know
What I had.

Sure, you're
The high commander

Of an intergalactic
Exploratory mission,
But me?

( exhales )
I was a star.

At least you got to be famous
For a little while.

It was good
While it lasted.

How can I go on?

I'm not famous anymore,
I'm not special.

- I'm nobody!
- you're not nobody.

You don't have
To be famous
To be special.

The world doesn't
Know about nina

And how she goes
To the old folks' home
Every wednesday

And sings them
Happy songs

Despite her busy schedule
And their constant requests

That she go away.

That's special.

Officer don
Sometimes takes money
Out of his own pocket

And feeds expired
Parking meters.

To save people
From getting tickets?

No, he just hates
Doing the paperwork, but...

It's still special.

I know someone else
Who's special.

Someone who helped
To rescue me

From an invisible box

And took care
Of a human baby as though
It were her very own.

It wasn't someone else!
That was me, you idiot!

You're the idiot!
That's my whole point!
That's why you're special!

Oh.

I guess I am--
Special, I mean,
Not an idiot.

Thank you,
Commander.

- good night, lieutenant.
- good night.

Harry,
Where've you been?

Chasin' the dream,
Sally.

Chasin' the dream.

Let it go, harry.

It's over.

Oh, no.

It's not over.

It's far from over!

“in an obvious
And desperate attempt

To cash in on
Mark hamill's
Interstellar success,

A source close to
Sally solomon last night
Called the bugle

To tell all of rutherford
That sally solomon

Is in fact an alien
From a distant galaxy

Far, far away.”

We're back on top, sally!

We're back on top!

Oh, tommy, did you show
Your dad what I wrote
In your yearbook?

( dick gasps )

- tommy has a yearbook?
- no.

- yes.
- yes. No.

Where is it?

In the oven.

( yelps )

Yours is slightly bigger.