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1
00:00:04,671 --> 00:00:07,639
Nina! This needs
To go out right away!
2
00:00:07,641 --> 00:00:10,208
- what's so urgent?
- it's the phone
Company survey.
3
00:00:10,210 --> 00:00:13,812
I'm very satisfied
With my service.
Nina!
4
00:00:13,814 --> 00:00:16,315
- mail this.
- I'll do it
On my way out.
5
00:00:16,317 --> 00:00:18,650
- I've got a blind date.
- well, that's exciting.
6
00:00:18,652 --> 00:00:21,887
Why, is he driving?
7
00:00:21,889 --> 00:00:25,457
It doesn't matter.
You'll have to cancel.
We have too much work to do.
8
00:00:25,459 --> 00:00:27,659
Why now?
You haven't done
Any work in two days.
9
00:00:27,661 --> 00:00:30,095
I know.
And now I'm
Paying for it.
10
00:00:30,097 --> 00:00:32,764
If you want,
You can invite
Your blind date here
11
00:00:32,766 --> 00:00:36,067
And tell him it's a disco.
That's the best I can do.
12
00:00:36,069 --> 00:00:38,236
Can't this wait
Until tomorrow?
13
00:00:38,238 --> 00:00:40,705
No, nina.
You're paid
To do my bidding.
14
00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:43,442
- I was never paid
To work for you.
- what?
15
00:00:43,444 --> 00:00:45,443
I am dr. Albright's
Assistant.
16
00:00:45,445 --> 00:00:47,445
When you showed up,
They doubled my workload,
17
00:00:47,447 --> 00:00:50,649
And the only raise I got
Was the privilege
Of working for you.
18
00:00:50,651 --> 00:00:53,052
I think you're starting
To take that privilege
19
00:00:53,054 --> 00:00:55,053
A little for granted.
20
00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:58,123
You know, you're right.
I don't deserve you.
I quit.
21
00:00:58,125 --> 00:01:00,592
- what?
- nina, you can't quit.
I need you.
22
00:01:00,594 --> 00:01:02,828
Let her go!
23
00:01:02,830 --> 00:01:06,197
I guarantee you'll never
Work in this town again.
24
00:01:06,199 --> 00:01:09,601
I'm still working
For dr. Albright.
I'm just quitting you.
25
00:01:09,603 --> 00:01:12,904
Oh, no. No, no.
No, that's not
How it works.
26
00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:15,473
We're a package.
You quit one of us,
You quit us both.
27
00:01:15,475 --> 00:01:18,776
- isn't that right, mary?
- see you in the morning,
Nina.
28
00:01:18,778 --> 00:01:20,045
Ha!
29
00:01:37,264 --> 00:01:40,732
Harry, I have great news.
You're going to be
My new assistant.
30
00:01:40,734 --> 00:01:42,901
Whoa!
31
00:01:42,903 --> 00:01:46,237
Assistant high
Commander harry.
32
00:01:46,239 --> 00:01:49,307
- I knew this day
Would come.
- no, harry,
33
00:01:49,309 --> 00:01:51,309
My office assistant.
34
00:01:51,311 --> 00:01:54,246
You'll find me to be
An easy person
To work for.
35
00:01:54,248 --> 00:01:56,315
My demands are simple.
36
00:01:56,317 --> 00:01:58,317
Simply someone
Who understands
37
00:01:58,319 --> 00:02:00,585
That working for me
Is in and of itself
38
00:02:00,587 --> 00:02:02,721
A reason to live.
39
00:02:02,723 --> 00:02:05,123
It seems
Like I should
Be paying you.
40
00:02:06,993 --> 00:02:09,494
I considered that,
But it's impossible.
41
00:02:09,496 --> 00:02:11,796
You'll be making
Virtually nothing.
42
00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:14,899
You'll only have to perform
The most basic of tasks.
43
00:02:14,901 --> 00:02:18,403
- you've sent out
Mail before.
- nope.
44
00:02:18,405 --> 00:02:22,240
- well, you've
Stapled before.
- I have not.
45
00:02:22,242 --> 00:02:24,309
Well, surely you've
Used a paper clip.
46
00:02:24,311 --> 00:02:27,178
You mean
Those cotton things
You put in your ears?
47
00:02:28,849 --> 00:02:30,849
How many fingers
Am I holding up?
48
00:02:30,851 --> 00:02:33,050
- two.
- you're hired.
49
00:02:33,052 --> 00:02:35,053
( '50s rock music playing )
50
00:03:05,052 --> 00:03:06,985
Have some tea.
51
00:03:08,122 --> 00:03:11,589
Um... There's
No tea in here.
52
00:03:11,591 --> 00:03:15,327
It's pink tea,
And it's good tea.
53
00:03:15,329 --> 00:03:18,930
Kid, did you fall
Off the jungle gym
Or what?
54
00:03:18,932 --> 00:03:20,932
What's going on?
55
00:03:20,934 --> 00:03:23,534
I'm watching dubcek's
Illegitimate grandkid.
56
00:03:25,538 --> 00:03:28,306
- you're late for tea.
- sorry.
57
00:03:32,312 --> 00:03:35,447
There's no actual
Tea, right?
58
00:03:35,449 --> 00:03:38,517
It's pink tea,
And it's good tea.
59
00:03:38,519 --> 00:03:41,819
- the cake is pink, too.
- the cake is pink, too.
60
00:03:43,156 --> 00:03:45,524
All right,
Maybe this is tea,
61
00:03:45,526 --> 00:03:47,626
But this is
Definitely not cake.
62
00:04:05,446 --> 00:04:07,679
Hi, harry.
What are you
Doing here?
63
00:04:07,681 --> 00:04:09,581
I work here.
64
00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:11,849
Oh, you're dick's
New assistant.
65
00:04:11,851 --> 00:04:13,685
Yes, sir,
66
00:04:13,687 --> 00:04:15,854
I'm the new guy.
67
00:04:15,856 --> 00:04:18,690
You know, at first,
No one likes the new guy.
68
00:04:18,692 --> 00:04:21,426
People are threatened
By the new guy,
69
00:04:21,428 --> 00:04:25,129
But other people
Are secretly attracted
To the new guy.
70
00:04:27,201 --> 00:04:31,003
Hello, mr. Dr. Solomon,
Sir. Welcome back.
71
00:04:31,005 --> 00:04:33,038
"Welcome back."
72
00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:35,973
Harry, unlike nina,
You are a gentleman.
73
00:04:38,312 --> 00:04:40,312
Here are your mail
And your messages.
74
00:04:40,314 --> 00:04:43,381
I've already taken care
Of the first two, and I
Restocked your stationery.
75
00:04:43,383 --> 00:04:46,084
- thank you, nina.
- harry, did I get
Any phone calls?
76
00:04:46,086 --> 00:04:48,286
Oh, yes.
It rang repeatedly.
77
00:04:49,823 --> 00:04:52,924
And, um...
Who called?
78
00:04:52,926 --> 00:04:55,259
Well, I don't know.
I'm not clairvoyant.
79
00:04:58,031 --> 00:05:01,667
Of course not.
But I'm sure you
Filed my midterms.
80
00:05:01,669 --> 00:05:03,501
No...
81
00:05:03,503 --> 00:05:06,271
But I did pre-lick
All your stamps...
82
00:05:08,575 --> 00:05:10,575
And I have placed
Them here
83
00:05:10,577 --> 00:05:12,510
On your filing cabinet
For your convenience.
84
00:05:16,917 --> 00:05:19,417
Nice work, harry.
85
00:05:19,419 --> 00:05:21,753
Now, when I want
To mail a letter,
86
00:05:21,755 --> 00:05:24,322
I'll just steam,
Scrape, and tape.
87
00:05:28,194 --> 00:05:30,361
So, anyway,
She looks at me,
88
00:05:30,363 --> 00:05:33,331
And she says,
"It's pink tea,
And it's good tea."
89
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:35,333
Oh, that's so sweet.
90
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:37,802
I'm not done
With the story.
It was imaginary tea.
91
00:05:37,804 --> 00:05:40,338
- did she serve imaginary
Cake and muffins?
- yes!
92
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:42,607
Both:
That's so cute!
93
00:05:44,311 --> 00:05:47,512
Is there some sort
Of imaginary bakery
I'm missing out on?
94
00:05:47,514 --> 00:05:50,515
Oh, I always had
Barbie tea parties.
95
00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:52,950
Oh, barbie--
Blond hair,
96
00:05:52,952 --> 00:05:55,120
Tiny waist, legs
Up to her neck.
97
00:05:55,122 --> 00:05:57,455
- who grows up
To look like that?
- yeah, who?
98
00:05:57,457 --> 00:05:59,057
Yeah, who?
99
00:06:02,729 --> 00:06:05,463
Why did everything seem
Possible at that age?
100
00:06:05,465 --> 00:06:08,733
- did you ever do
Your best friend's hair?
- yes.
101
00:06:08,735 --> 00:06:11,402
- did you ever play dress-up?
- wearing your mother's
Clothes?
102
00:06:11,404 --> 00:06:13,504
My brother roy
Did that.
103
00:06:15,442 --> 00:06:17,775
- ballet lessons.
- both: oh, ballet!
104
00:06:17,777 --> 00:06:19,511
Ballet!
105
00:06:19,513 --> 00:06:21,679
On my recital night,
106
00:06:21,681 --> 00:06:23,515
I felt like cinderella.
107
00:06:23,517 --> 00:06:26,317
Of course, I looked
Like one of the hippos
In "Fantasia."
108
00:06:26,319 --> 00:06:28,419
Yeah, me--
109
00:06:28,421 --> 00:06:31,256
No, I...
I looked cute.
110
00:06:31,258 --> 00:06:34,793
So, remember when
We used to do... What?
111
00:06:34,795 --> 00:06:37,028
I can still remember
Taking my bow.
112
00:06:37,030 --> 00:06:39,664
My dad gave me
A single white rose.
113
00:06:39,666 --> 00:06:42,366
I was his
Little princess.
114
00:06:42,368 --> 00:06:44,302
I want my childhood.
115
00:06:45,772 --> 00:06:47,706
Don't we all?
116
00:06:51,778 --> 00:06:54,379
- tommy!
- tommy: I'm not coming out.
117
00:06:54,381 --> 00:06:56,381
I want to play barbie.
118
00:07:07,694 --> 00:07:10,795
I feel like
Tommy longstocking.
119
00:07:10,797 --> 00:07:13,131
That's what
I was going for.
120
00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:15,066
Now sit down.
You're ken.
121
00:07:19,739 --> 00:07:22,740
Okay, ken,
So what do you
Want to do today?
122
00:07:22,742 --> 00:07:25,677
Hmm, nothing
That involves bending
My knees or elbows.
123
00:07:27,981 --> 00:07:30,715
Okay, well, have
A great day at work.
124
00:07:30,717 --> 00:07:33,551
I will.
And while there, I'll
Earn 25% more than you
125
00:07:33,553 --> 00:07:35,720
Because I'm a man.
126
00:07:35,722 --> 00:07:37,822
That's not fair.
127
00:07:37,824 --> 00:07:41,459
I'm going to sue you
In malibu dream court.
128
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:44,529
Don't get your mink
In a bunch, precious.
129
00:07:44,531 --> 00:07:46,831
Well, now you're
Talking down to me.
130
00:07:46,833 --> 00:07:49,100
So now I have to
Rip your head off.
131
00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:55,607
You don't play right.
132
00:07:55,609 --> 00:07:57,942
Baby.
You forgot your head.
133
00:07:57,944 --> 00:08:00,645
shut up!
134
00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:03,014
So, dick, you know
What I overheard
135
00:08:03,016 --> 00:08:05,016
- at the water cooler?
- what?
136
00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:08,386
That there's
This weird guy hanging
Around the water cooler.
137
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:13,992
Dick, I'm so glad
You're home.
Read that.
138
00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:16,828
An application
To little miss slippers
Ballet academy?
139
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:18,830
Yeah. I really need
Ballet lessons.
140
00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:20,999
- it's imperative
To my mission.
- can you get in?
141
00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:24,502
- do you have $150?
- for this?
142
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:27,638
- don't make me beg.
- no, lieutenant.
143
00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:32,176
Ple-eeeease!
144
00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:34,446
All right!
145
00:08:34,448 --> 00:08:36,114
Enjoy.
146
00:08:36,116 --> 00:08:39,384
I'm going to be
The best damn ballerina
In that whole class!
147
00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:44,889
( high-pitched voice )
Ooh! My boyfriend
Drives a camaro.
148
00:08:44,891 --> 00:08:47,659
- ooh! Ooh!
- harry, get up!
149
00:08:47,661 --> 00:08:49,661
Yes, sir.
150
00:08:55,469 --> 00:08:58,035
- I want to talk to you
About work today.
- oh!
151
00:08:58,037 --> 00:09:00,505
It was the greatest
Day of my life.
152
00:09:00,507 --> 00:09:02,741
- it was a disaster.
- I'm glad it's over.
153
00:09:02,743 --> 00:09:05,510
- now I can stop pretending.
- hold it right there.
154
00:09:05,512 --> 00:09:08,079
There's going
To be some changes
Around here.
155
00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:11,249
From now on, your desk
Will be your girlfriend.
Her name will be lucille.
156
00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:14,252
She will be
The only woman
In your life.
157
00:09:14,254 --> 00:09:16,521
Dick, I don't like
You like this.
158
00:09:16,523 --> 00:09:19,256
I don't want you
To like me because
Liking leads to loving,
159
00:09:19,258 --> 00:09:21,993
And loving leads to
Reproduction, and nobody
Reproduces with me!
160
00:09:21,995 --> 00:09:24,095
- understood?
- yes, sir.
161
00:09:24,097 --> 00:09:26,097
Now get some sleep.
162
00:09:26,099 --> 00:09:29,033
Starting tomorrow,
I'm going to whip you
Into shape.
163
00:09:31,772 --> 00:09:35,339
Okay, but don't
Touch the face
164
00:09:35,341 --> 00:09:37,375
'cause I'm
A pretty man.
165
00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:44,282
Dick:
harry!
166
00:09:46,352 --> 00:09:49,587
- my pencils are dull.
- talk to dr. Albright
Instead.
167
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:51,523
She's riveting.
168
00:09:53,026 --> 00:09:55,259
Thank you, harry.
169
00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:58,196
Sharpen these.
That's eight pencils
At seven seconds each.
170
00:09:58,198 --> 00:10:01,466
And I want a progress report
Typed and on my desk
In 50 seconds.
171
00:10:01,468 --> 00:10:04,102
Now go, go, go,
Go, go, go!
172
00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:07,772
- harry--
- not now, nina.
I'm on a deadline.
173
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:10,041
Don't you think
Dr. Solomon's making
174
00:10:10,043 --> 00:10:12,043
Some unreasonable
Demands of you?
175
00:10:12,045 --> 00:10:14,345
- don't be silly.
- harry!
176
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:19,717
Pee in this cup.
I want to see if you've
Been eating my mints.
177
00:10:25,158 --> 00:10:27,158
It's fine.
Dick's just trying
178
00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:29,194
To whip me into
A first-class assistant.
179
00:10:29,196 --> 00:10:31,662
Look, next time he starts
To get on your case,
180
00:10:31,664 --> 00:10:35,100
You tell him
To talk to the hand.
Talk to the hand.
181
00:10:35,102 --> 00:10:39,003
- well, I don't know.
- harry, get out here-- now!
182
00:10:39,005 --> 00:10:42,574
- why is my out box full?
- because the mail
Just came in.
183
00:10:42,576 --> 00:10:44,576
Why did you put it
In the out box?
184
00:10:44,578 --> 00:10:47,244
Because it came
Out of the mail.
185
00:10:47,246 --> 00:10:49,747
Why is my letter
To the dean
In the in box?
186
00:10:49,749 --> 00:10:53,651
The dean won't be back till
Tomorrow, but once he's in,
The in goes out.
187
00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:56,120
Things in the out box
Are going out.
188
00:10:56,122 --> 00:10:58,522
Well, why don't we
Just get one big box?
189
00:10:58,524 --> 00:11:00,524
That way we'll put
Everything in there.
190
00:11:00,526 --> 00:11:04,295
- I mean, that's 50% less box.
- that's not how it's done.
191
00:11:04,297 --> 00:11:06,731
Anyone with half a brain
Could do this job.
192
00:11:06,733 --> 00:11:08,165
What is your problem?
193
00:11:11,971 --> 00:11:14,271
- dick?
- yes.
194
00:11:14,273 --> 00:11:16,207
Talk to the hand.
195
00:11:22,248 --> 00:11:24,215
( humming )
196
00:11:48,775 --> 00:11:51,475
Dick.
Dick, look at me.
197
00:11:51,477 --> 00:11:54,412
Just try to keep
Your foot out
Of the egg salad.
198
00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:01,920
Look at me.
Look what I learned.
199
00:12:01,922 --> 00:12:03,855
Look.
200
00:12:05,158 --> 00:12:07,258
Oh. Good.
201
00:12:07,260 --> 00:12:09,894
They taught you
To squat.
202
00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:13,030
It's not a squat.
It's a plié.
203
00:12:13,032 --> 00:12:15,132
- what's a plié?
- a french squat.
204
00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:18,736
I'm practicing
For my recital.
205
00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:20,972
I'm so excited.
Everybody's parents
Will be--
206
00:12:23,509 --> 00:12:26,978
- sally--
- ooh, tommy!
207
00:12:32,118 --> 00:12:34,885
Oh, tommy,
You are stylin'.
208
00:12:34,887 --> 00:12:38,122
Yeah, thank you.
Will you please fix what
You've done to my head?
209
00:12:38,124 --> 00:12:40,791
No, but I will let
You borrow some
Of my barrettes.
210
00:12:40,793 --> 00:12:42,627
Well, that'll
Look better.
211
00:12:42,629 --> 00:12:46,231
I cannot wait for you
To see the recital.
212
00:12:46,233 --> 00:12:48,299
I do a pirouette
At the end.
213
00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:51,769
The teacher says
I look like
A drunk bear.
214
00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:53,504
I'll be there.
215
00:12:53,506 --> 00:12:57,274
Look at me, damn it!
I'm your little princess!
216
00:12:57,276 --> 00:12:59,276
Aw! You look
217
00:12:59,278 --> 00:13:01,513
Beautiful!
218
00:13:01,515 --> 00:13:03,781
Thank you.
Come on, tommy.
219
00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:05,783
- I need you
For the pas de deux.
- tommy: what the hell?
220
00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:08,152
- harry, come
Watch me practice!
- sorry, sally.
221
00:13:08,154 --> 00:13:11,455
I have to sit here
And silently glare
At dick.
222
00:13:17,764 --> 00:13:20,932
Am I going to have
An emotional outburst,
223
00:13:20,934 --> 00:13:22,767
- or are you?
- you just did.
224
00:13:22,769 --> 00:13:24,702
- I did not!
- ah-ha!
225
00:13:26,272 --> 00:13:28,706
Harry, I hired you
To replace nina,
226
00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:32,243
But instead
She's turned you into
Her sassy doppelgänger.
227
00:13:32,245 --> 00:13:34,378
- is that right?
- that's right.
228
00:13:34,380 --> 00:13:36,080
- you know what?
- what?
229
00:13:36,082 --> 00:13:39,150
I'm not taking it anymore.
The carnival is
Leaving dicksville.
230
00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:41,919
- I quit!
- you can't quit.
You're fired.
231
00:13:41,921 --> 00:13:44,022
No-ooo!
232
00:13:50,863 --> 00:13:52,863
I'm sorry things
Didn't work out,
233
00:13:52,865 --> 00:13:55,866
But best of luck
In your future
Endeavors.
234
00:13:55,868 --> 00:13:58,169
- okay,
See you tonight.
- all right.
235
00:14:00,573 --> 00:14:03,774
Does this mean you've come
To your senses, and you're
Going to apologize to nina?
236
00:14:03,776 --> 00:14:06,210
No, I will never
Come to my senses.
237
00:14:08,615 --> 00:14:11,516
I don't need nina.
I don't need harry.
I don't need anybody.
238
00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:13,851
From now on,
I'm going to be
My own assistant.
239
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:16,220
( rings )
240
00:14:16,222 --> 00:14:18,055
Hello.
241
00:14:18,057 --> 00:14:20,457
Yes, I'll be
At the seminar.
242
00:14:20,459 --> 00:14:24,095
I don't know
About dr. Solomon.
Hold on a second. Dick?
243
00:14:24,097 --> 00:14:26,697
Transfer it
To my assistant, please.
244
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:28,532
Okay.
245
00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:30,634
( intercom buzzes )
246
00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:37,408
Dr. Solomon's line.
Who's calling, please?
247
00:14:37,410 --> 00:14:40,544
Uh... I'll ask him.
The seminar? Yes.
248
00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:43,481
I'll ask him
And get back to you
This afternoon.
249
00:14:43,483 --> 00:14:45,483
- ( rings )
- dr. Solomon's line.
250
00:14:45,485 --> 00:14:47,485
Who's calling, please?
251
00:14:47,487 --> 00:14:49,987
Hold on, please.
I'll transfer you.
252
00:14:49,989 --> 00:14:51,922
( intercom buzzes )
253
00:14:55,762 --> 00:14:58,929
This is dick solomon.
How can I help you?
254
00:14:58,931 --> 00:15:01,365
No, no, no, you
Want dick sullivan
255
00:15:01,367 --> 00:15:03,768
In the english
Department.
256
00:15:03,770 --> 00:15:06,270
Transfer you?
I'm already doing
The job of two men.
257
00:15:06,272 --> 00:15:08,606
Next time, pick up
A phone book,
You moron!
258
00:15:12,879 --> 00:15:14,812
( phone rings )
259
00:15:14,814 --> 00:15:17,115
- dick, I think
Your phone's ringing.
- ( shrieks )
260
00:15:17,117 --> 00:15:20,118
( rings )
261
00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:22,119
dick solomon's line. who's calling?
262
00:15:22,121 --> 00:15:25,355
This is luella
From the dean's office.
263
00:15:25,357 --> 00:15:27,357
Please tell
Dr. Solomon we need
264
00:15:27,359 --> 00:15:30,627
Copies of all
Past purchase orders
For the past 18 months.
265
00:15:30,629 --> 00:15:32,629
uh, uh... purchase orders?
266
00:15:32,631 --> 00:15:35,566
Uh, yes, I dropped
Them off this morning.
267
00:15:35,568 --> 00:15:38,235
You never dropped
Those off! You lie!
How do you know?
268
00:15:38,237 --> 00:15:40,971
You weren't even there.
I can tell just
By looking at you.
269
00:15:40,973 --> 00:15:43,240
I can't work like this.
Obviously not.
270
00:15:43,242 --> 00:15:45,242
Such mistrust!
Well, get out, then!
271
00:15:45,244 --> 00:15:47,211
Fine! I will!
272
00:15:49,883 --> 00:15:52,116
Not so easy,
Is it, dick?
273
00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:54,118
On the contrary.
274
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,487
All I have to
Do now is...
275
00:15:56,489 --> 00:15:58,489
Take dr. Solomon's exam
276
00:15:58,491 --> 00:16:00,591
To his 10:00 class.
277
00:16:03,663 --> 00:16:06,230
There's only one here.
I have 30 students.
278
00:16:06,232 --> 00:16:08,565
Well, that's funny.
279
00:16:08,567 --> 00:16:10,568
They usually
Duplicate themselves.
280
00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:12,469
( gasps )
281
00:16:12,471 --> 00:16:15,906
No, wait.
Nina always
Made the copies.
282
00:16:15,908 --> 00:16:18,709
Oh, nina made
The copies, huh?
283
00:16:18,711 --> 00:16:20,944
Then I can make
The copies.
284
00:16:20,946 --> 00:16:23,581
I'll just take
This paper
285
00:16:23,583 --> 00:16:25,750
And walk
Out this door
286
00:16:25,752 --> 00:16:28,852
And turn to the, uh...
287
00:16:28,854 --> 00:16:31,455
- the right.
- yes, I knew that.
288
00:16:31,457 --> 00:16:34,959
And then walk right
Into the, uh...
289
00:16:34,961 --> 00:16:37,561
Third door
On the left.
290
00:16:37,563 --> 00:16:39,530
Don't patronize me.
291
00:16:41,301 --> 00:16:43,901
It says "Xerox"
On it.
292
00:16:45,604 --> 00:16:47,372
Obviously.
293
00:16:47,374 --> 00:16:50,374
( electronic beeping )
294
00:16:50,376 --> 00:16:52,443
Okay.
295
00:16:52,445 --> 00:16:55,346
I put this under here,
296
00:16:56,515 --> 00:16:59,650
Press this, enter
The number "30,"
297
00:16:59,652 --> 00:17:01,819
And start.
298
00:17:01,821 --> 00:17:04,555
( mechanical humming )
299
00:17:04,557 --> 00:17:06,557
Piece of cake.
300
00:17:06,559 --> 00:17:08,493
( beeps )
301
00:17:11,398 --> 00:17:13,398
"Paper jam"?
302
00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:15,466
Okay, fine.
303
00:17:15,468 --> 00:17:17,501
I just press this,
304
00:17:17,503 --> 00:17:20,571
Open this,
305
00:17:20,573 --> 00:17:22,806
Remove the paper,
306
00:17:22,808 --> 00:17:25,543
And press this
And "Start."
307
00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:27,879
( beeps )
308
00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:30,314
"See key operator."
309
00:17:30,316 --> 00:17:33,417
Well, that's me.
I'm operating the keys.
310
00:17:33,419 --> 00:17:35,352
Me! Damn you!
311
00:17:37,257 --> 00:17:39,757
I'm going to press "Cancel."
Is that what you want?
312
00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:42,927
- 'cause I'll do it.
I'll press it.
- ( beeping )
313
00:17:42,929 --> 00:17:45,896
- stop it! Damn you!
- ( beeping stops )
314
00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:49,700
( yells )
315
00:17:49,702 --> 00:17:52,737
I'm going to beat you
With your own toner cartridge!
316
00:17:52,739 --> 00:17:54,671
( yelling )
317
00:18:01,614 --> 00:18:03,547
There's my daddy.
318
00:18:03,549 --> 00:18:06,049
There's my daddy.
319
00:18:06,051 --> 00:18:07,818
Dick?
320
00:18:09,121 --> 00:18:10,621
Dick?
321
00:18:10,623 --> 00:18:12,856
Her daddy's
Not here.
322
00:18:12,858 --> 00:18:15,125
Her daddy's
A bad man.
323
00:18:18,130 --> 00:18:20,731
- ( jazz playing on stereo )
- ( doorbell rings )
324
00:18:24,470 --> 00:18:26,370
( music stops )
325
00:18:26,372 --> 00:18:28,706
( gasps )
Dr. Solomon!
326
00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:32,643
What happened
To you?
327
00:18:32,645 --> 00:18:35,145
- oh, nina, I was so...
- oh, no, no, no, no!
328
00:18:35,147 --> 00:18:37,147
( yells )
Uh-uh!
329
00:18:37,149 --> 00:18:39,717
I thought I didn't
Need anyone, but I do.
I need you.
330
00:18:39,719 --> 00:18:41,719
- get off the carpet.
- why?
331
00:18:41,721 --> 00:18:44,955
( screams )
Don't sit there.
332
00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:47,525
Nina.
333
00:18:47,527 --> 00:18:49,627
Nina, your place
Is beautiful.
334
00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:51,695
Oh, no!
335
00:18:51,697 --> 00:18:53,664
But where are
Your file cabinets,
336
00:18:53,666 --> 00:18:55,633
Your pencil sharpeners,
Your office furniture?
337
00:18:55,635 --> 00:18:59,469
You think the only nina
That you see exists
In the office?
338
00:18:59,471 --> 00:19:01,705
You're wrong.
There's another nina.
339
00:19:01,707 --> 00:19:04,975
Will she work
For me?
340
00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:08,779
You don't respect me.
If you want me to work for
You, I need your respect.
341
00:19:08,781 --> 00:19:11,282
Nina...
I respect you.
342
00:19:11,284 --> 00:19:13,784
- I don't believe you.
- what do you want me to do?
343
00:19:13,786 --> 00:19:16,954
- crawl on my hands and knees?
- oh no! Get up!
344
00:19:16,956 --> 00:19:19,189
No, you respect--
Okay, I'll come back.
345
00:19:19,191 --> 00:19:21,392
- oh, nina, thank you!
- ( shrieks )
346
00:19:26,299 --> 00:19:28,398
I'll see you
At the office.
347
00:19:35,308 --> 00:19:38,809
Gypped.
All I wanted was
A normal childhood,
348
00:19:38,811 --> 00:19:41,045
But dick just couldn't
Let me have one.
349
00:19:41,047 --> 00:19:43,547
I felt so humiliated.
350
00:19:43,549 --> 00:19:46,951
I bet when you looked out
Into that audience and you
Didn't see dick there,
351
00:19:46,953 --> 00:19:49,720
- you felt like your heart
Was torn out.
- yeah.
352
00:19:49,722 --> 00:19:52,123
- and you felt
Betrayed and alone.
- uh-huh.
353
00:19:52,125 --> 00:19:54,391
And now you're probably
Pretty much damaged
For life,
354
00:19:54,393 --> 00:19:56,894
- and you'll never trust
Anyone ever again.
- exactly.
355
00:19:56,896 --> 00:19:58,996
Yeah. Well,
Congratulations, sally.
356
00:19:58,998 --> 00:20:01,598
You've just taken
Your first step
Into childhood.
357
00:20:03,336 --> 00:20:05,068
- I have?
- yeah.
358
00:20:05,070 --> 00:20:07,137
And now you take
All this emotional damage
359
00:20:07,139 --> 00:20:09,840
And let it feed
Your adult neuroses.
360
00:20:09,842 --> 00:20:12,509
And the best part
Is that if you
Ever kill a guy
361
00:20:12,511 --> 00:20:15,112
Or balloon up
To 400 pounds,
You get to blame dick.
362
00:20:15,114 --> 00:20:16,914
Yeah.
363
00:20:16,916 --> 00:20:18,949
Dick:
tommy! sally!
364
00:20:18,951 --> 00:20:20,951
Sally,
365
00:20:20,953 --> 00:20:24,354
I am so sorry
I missed your recital.
366
00:20:25,591 --> 00:20:28,158
Yeah, you did.
Thanks, dick.
367
00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:31,862
- what for?
- you've given me the most
Precious gift of all--
368
00:20:31,864 --> 00:20:35,366
Emotional baggage.
Thanks.
369
00:20:35,368 --> 00:20:37,968
- you're welcome.
- now I gotta go eat.
370
00:20:41,774 --> 00:20:44,708
I'm sorry, harry.
I thought I didn't
Need anyone.
371
00:20:44,710 --> 00:20:47,511
I thought I could do
Everything by myself.
372
00:20:47,513 --> 00:20:50,781
It turns out I was wrong.
I do need someone,
373
00:20:50,783 --> 00:20:52,716
Just not you.
374
00:20:54,220 --> 00:20:56,987
Well, it takes
A big man to admit that.
375
00:20:56,989 --> 00:21:00,624
I guess it just goes
To show you, you can't
Work with your family.
376
00:21:00,626 --> 00:21:02,626
But, technically,
We're not a family.
377
00:21:02,628 --> 00:21:04,561
We're more
Like co-workers.
378
00:21:04,563 --> 00:21:07,864
Well, it just goes
To show you can't work
With your co-workers.
379
00:21:09,501 --> 00:21:12,603
Isn't that the motto
Of the postal service?
380
00:21:22,114 --> 00:21:24,114
Okay, this is
How it works.
381
00:21:24,116 --> 00:21:26,217
- you put the paper in there.
- I did that.
382
00:21:26,219 --> 00:21:28,051
- press this button.
- I did that.
383
00:21:28,053 --> 00:21:29,720
- it should work.
- ( beeps )
384
00:21:29,722 --> 00:21:31,722
- paper jam.
- not a problem.
385
00:21:31,724 --> 00:21:33,724
- pull this out.
- I did that.
386
00:21:33,726 --> 00:21:35,826
- press this button.
- ( beeps )
387
00:21:35,828 --> 00:21:38,596
It's not working.
388
00:21:38,598 --> 00:21:41,098
What is wrong
With this?! Damn it!
389
00:21:43,002 --> 00:21:45,503
( yelling )
390
00:21:45,505 --> 00:21:47,505
Stupid!
391
00:21:47,507 --> 00:21:50,074
The other side.
Harder.
31957
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