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1
00:00:05,539 --> 00:00:08,874
Go to him, francesca!
Get in his truck!
2
00:00:08,876 --> 00:00:10,842
Get in his truck
And run away with him!
3
00:00:12,212 --> 00:00:14,813
( growls )
Damn!
4
00:00:14,815 --> 00:00:17,649
These stupid books
Never end the way
I want them to!
5
00:00:17,651 --> 00:00:19,217
- lieutenant!
- sir!
6
00:00:19,219 --> 00:00:21,886
Rewrite this book
So that francesca
Runs off with robert!
7
00:00:21,888 --> 00:00:23,822
What?! That's not
In my job description!
8
00:00:23,824 --> 00:00:26,891
But they
Should be together.
9
00:00:29,396 --> 00:00:31,997
( sighs )
"Sally, make dinner.
Sally, do the laundry."
10
00:00:31,999 --> 00:00:34,433
"Sally, rewrite this
International best-seller."
11
00:00:34,435 --> 00:00:36,935
You know, there's something
About doing this crappy job
12
00:00:36,937 --> 00:00:39,137
Day in and day out that
Makes me want to kill myself.
13
00:00:40,241 --> 00:00:42,908
And you.
14
00:00:42,910 --> 00:00:45,176
Well, sally, I'm tired
Of hearing you complain.
15
00:00:45,178 --> 00:00:47,079
- I'm not appreciated--
- shut up!
16
00:00:47,081 --> 00:00:48,613
All righty.
17
00:00:48,615 --> 00:00:50,449
No, sally, no.
18
00:00:50,451 --> 00:00:52,451
I mean,
I have a difficult job too.
19
00:00:52,453 --> 00:00:55,254
( stammers )
When-- and--
20
00:00:55,256 --> 00:00:57,356
I think that you
Should shut up.
21
00:01:11,105 --> 00:01:14,406
What is your job...
Exactly?
22
00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:16,941
I am the sponge.
23
00:01:18,112 --> 00:01:20,945
( quivers )
I know many things.
24
00:01:20,947 --> 00:01:23,715
Like what,
Oh great sponge?
25
00:01:23,717 --> 00:01:25,283
Okay.
26
00:01:25,285 --> 00:01:29,621
Like how many bags of trash
Do our neighbors produce
Per week.
27
00:01:29,623 --> 00:01:32,624
What are barney's
Friends names?
28
00:01:32,626 --> 00:01:34,959
His real friends.
29
00:01:34,961 --> 00:01:37,862
How many licks does it take
To get to the center
Of a marble!
30
00:01:39,633 --> 00:01:42,400
You don't know,
Do you?
31
00:01:42,402 --> 00:01:45,403
- well, he's got you there.
- yeah, he sure does.
But, um...
32
00:01:45,405 --> 00:01:47,840
I do all the shopping,
Cooking, cleaning,
33
00:01:47,842 --> 00:01:49,841
Banking and the killing
Of all spiders!
34
00:01:49,843 --> 00:01:51,843
Ha, spiders!
35
00:01:51,845 --> 00:01:54,078
Spiders are more afraid
Of us than we are of them.
36
00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:56,815
- harry, there's a spider
On your neck.
- get it off!
37
00:01:56,817 --> 00:01:58,817
Get it off!
38
00:01:58,819 --> 00:02:01,386
( chuckles )
That's very funny.
39
00:02:01,388 --> 00:02:04,522
- you could never handle my job!
- I could do it with
My eyes closed.
40
00:02:04,524 --> 00:02:06,724
You do everything
With your eyes closed.
41
00:02:09,663 --> 00:02:10,995
Okay,
Big guy.
42
00:02:10,997 --> 00:02:13,565
What do you say
You and I trade jobs?
43
00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:15,501
All right,
Sally.
44
00:02:16,837 --> 00:02:18,770
I accept your challenge.
45
00:02:20,841 --> 00:02:22,340
Okay...
46
00:02:22,342 --> 00:02:24,343
I know this is silly,
But...
47
00:02:24,345 --> 00:02:26,845
Do you think mary
Would jump in the truck
Of some...
48
00:02:26,847 --> 00:02:29,181
Rugged,
Bridge-loving photographer?
49
00:02:29,183 --> 00:02:31,182
Aah,
Probably.
50
00:02:31,184 --> 00:02:33,684
( chokes )
51
00:02:33,686 --> 00:02:37,288
- how can you say that?!
- because your relationship
Is so boring!
52
00:02:37,290 --> 00:02:40,292
Boring?! We're
Passionate, unpredictable.
53
00:02:40,294 --> 00:02:42,927
We're wild!
Wild, I tell you!
Just wild!
54
00:02:45,032 --> 00:02:47,699
( stammers )
I mean, let's see...
Tonight's wednesday,
55
00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:50,568
You got to her house,
You watch "Jeopardy,"
Then the wheel--
56
00:02:50,570 --> 00:02:52,804
8:15, delivery
From the bamboo garden.
57
00:02:52,806 --> 00:02:55,807
And two videos:
Robert redford and pauly shore.
58
00:02:55,809 --> 00:02:57,809
But which to watch first?
59
00:02:57,811 --> 00:03:00,078
All:
Hmm...
60
00:03:01,548 --> 00:03:03,548
Pauly shore!
61
00:03:03,550 --> 00:03:05,483
But not always!
62
00:03:07,387 --> 00:03:09,687
Okay, always.
63
00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:11,889
( '50s rock music playing )
64
00:03:43,256 --> 00:03:45,356
- hello, my love.
- hi.
65
00:03:46,693 --> 00:03:48,627
Whatcha doing?
66
00:03:50,430 --> 00:03:53,498
I have 15 papers to grade
This afternoon, so please.
67
00:03:54,668 --> 00:03:56,434
Very well.
68
00:03:58,105 --> 00:04:01,039
You think we're still
An exciting couple,
Don't you?
69
00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:04,676
- mm-hmm.
- ( exhales sharply )
Good.
70
00:04:04,678 --> 00:04:07,345
Because for some reason,
Sally said that we were boring.
71
00:04:07,347 --> 00:04:11,183
( both laugh )
72
00:04:12,952 --> 00:04:14,786
Mary...
73
00:04:14,788 --> 00:04:16,788
Suppose a rugged,
Italian woman
74
00:04:16,790 --> 00:04:19,123
With a camera
Appeared in a pick-up
75
00:04:19,125 --> 00:04:21,393
And gave me the old
"Honk and wave"?
76
00:04:22,629 --> 00:04:24,629
I shouldn't jump
In her truck
77
00:04:24,631 --> 00:04:26,565
And drive off
With her, should I?
78
00:04:26,567 --> 00:04:28,699
- mm-hmm.
- no!
79
00:04:29,969 --> 00:04:32,137
- what?!
- we are boring,
Aren't we?!
80
00:04:32,139 --> 00:04:36,141
( stammers )
Well, we might be
In a little rut.
81
00:04:36,143 --> 00:04:39,176
- how about we do
Something special tonight?
- okay.
82
00:04:39,178 --> 00:04:42,180
You come over,
We'll watch "Jeopardy"
And "The wheel,"
83
00:04:42,182 --> 00:04:44,582
And we can order
From the bamboo garden.
84
00:04:48,421 --> 00:04:49,520
Yum.
85
00:04:53,326 --> 00:04:56,161
Hi, would you like to try
A new fat-free pizza nibbler?
86
00:04:56,163 --> 00:04:59,163
Ooh!
"Tasty, tasty pizza treat!"
87
00:04:59,165 --> 00:05:02,100
- I used to watch
A lot of tv.
- mm-hmm.
88
00:05:11,845 --> 00:05:13,511
No, I'm sorry, lady.
89
00:05:13,513 --> 00:05:16,013
Only the best
For my family.
90
00:05:16,015 --> 00:05:18,450
It's my job,
You know.
91
00:05:37,371 --> 00:05:39,304
Agua-la-vista,
Baby.
92
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,708
Oh, hi!
( chuckles )
93
00:05:43,710 --> 00:05:47,044
Give up? Shopping's
Not as easy as you
Thought it was, huh?
94
00:05:47,046 --> 00:05:50,048
Actually, I'm great at it.
And check out these values.
95
00:05:50,050 --> 00:05:52,050
Skinny bar, fat bar,
Fat bar, fat bar,
96
00:05:52,052 --> 00:05:54,319
Skinny bar, fat bar,
$1.26.
97
00:05:55,656 --> 00:05:57,522
You cracked the bar code?
98
00:05:58,891 --> 00:06:00,492
Yeah.
99
00:06:01,561 --> 00:06:03,562
Oh, hi guys!
100
00:06:03,564 --> 00:06:05,730
Hey, look what
I was doing today.
101
00:06:05,732 --> 00:06:07,632
- crossword puzzle.
- tommy: cool.
102
00:06:07,634 --> 00:06:09,167
What's a "Digfa"?
103
00:06:09,169 --> 00:06:11,569
Um, apparently it's
The capital of france.
104
00:06:11,571 --> 00:06:13,105
But, um...
( clears throat )
105
00:06:13,107 --> 00:06:15,573
And you know that sign
On the back of the tv
That says...
106
00:06:15,575 --> 00:06:18,943
"Risk of electrical shock.
Do not open"? Well, they're
Not feeding you guys
107
00:06:18,945 --> 00:06:21,379
A line of crap.
I mean...
108
00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:22,714
- wow.
- yeah.
109
00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:24,482
- so how was your day?
- not as exciting.
110
00:06:24,484 --> 00:06:26,484
- tommy.
- it was great!
111
00:06:26,486 --> 00:06:28,920
August won the rutherford
County essay contest!
112
00:06:28,922 --> 00:06:31,089
And I was so surprised
Because, you know,
113
00:06:31,091 --> 00:06:34,793
I won last year too
And no one's ever won
Two years in a row.
114
00:06:35,862 --> 00:06:37,862
I'm so proud.
115
00:06:37,864 --> 00:06:39,931
I'm gonna go call my mom.
116
00:06:39,933 --> 00:06:41,599
( sighs )
117
00:06:41,601 --> 00:06:43,601
I can't take it,
Sally.
118
00:06:43,603 --> 00:06:45,837
Everything about her
Is so perfect.
119
00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:47,539
You want me
To mess her up a little?
120
00:06:49,109 --> 00:06:51,109
- no.
- please?
121
00:06:51,111 --> 00:06:54,045
I'm caged here!
All I'm killing is time!
122
00:06:55,282 --> 00:06:57,282
Oh, hi, dick.
How was your day?
123
00:06:57,284 --> 00:06:59,584
Great!
( yelps )
124
00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:02,587
- what?
- oh, I can't keep up
The facade.
125
00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:05,590
- you were right!
The thrill is gone!
- oh.
126
00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:08,593
Oh, mary and I
Used to be like champagne.
127
00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:10,728
Fresh and bubbly.
128
00:07:10,730 --> 00:07:13,665
But now, we've been
Uncorked too long.
129
00:07:14,967 --> 00:07:16,968
We're luke warm,
Flat.
130
00:07:16,970 --> 00:07:18,970
Collecting flies.
131
00:07:18,972 --> 00:07:21,006
And there's a cigarette butt
Floating in us.
132
00:07:22,475 --> 00:07:24,976
Oh.
( laughs )
133
00:07:24,978 --> 00:07:26,344
Shh, shh,
I'm hiding.
134
00:07:26,346 --> 00:07:28,279
Why,
What's happening?
135
00:07:30,984 --> 00:07:33,485
- who are you?
- I'm the lusty farmhand.
136
00:07:33,487 --> 00:07:35,653
( giggles )
137
00:07:35,655 --> 00:07:37,755
Both: ooh.
138
00:07:39,326 --> 00:07:43,595
- oh, everybody,
This is charlie.
- hi, folks.
139
00:07:43,597 --> 00:07:45,964
Charlie brought the magic
Back into my life.
140
00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:47,132
- ooh.
- ( growls )
141
00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:48,066
Oh!
142
00:07:49,502 --> 00:07:51,770
- oh, no!
- ( growls )
143
00:07:54,007 --> 00:07:57,442
- ( door shuts )
- that's gotta be her fifth
Magician this year.
144
00:07:57,444 --> 00:07:59,443
Magic.
145
00:07:59,445 --> 00:08:02,514
The first time I saw mary,
It was magic.
146
00:08:02,516 --> 00:08:04,682
But now
The rabbit just...
147
00:08:04,684 --> 00:08:06,618
Sits in his hat.
148
00:08:11,391 --> 00:08:14,058
( sighs )
149
00:08:14,060 --> 00:08:16,594
- nina?
- I'm on my break.
150
00:08:16,596 --> 00:08:18,796
That's all right,
I don't mind.
151
00:08:18,798 --> 00:08:20,799
It's about
Dr. Albright and me.
152
00:08:20,801 --> 00:08:23,735
Oh, don't involve me
In that freak show.
153
00:08:25,705 --> 00:08:28,706
Things have changed between us
And I don't know why.
154
00:08:28,708 --> 00:08:31,108
( sighs )
Okay, what are you
Doing differently?
155
00:08:31,110 --> 00:08:33,778
Nothing.
Same movies, same take-out.
156
00:08:33,780 --> 00:08:35,713
Same as it ever was.
157
00:08:35,715 --> 00:08:39,884
- wait, there's an article
Right here on that very thing.
- oh, what luck.
158
00:08:39,886 --> 00:08:44,422
Here, all the wisdom you seek
And 10 new ways to show off
Your breasts.
159
00:08:44,424 --> 00:08:47,425
Ah-ha!
10 sure-fire tips
160
00:08:47,427 --> 00:08:49,427
On bringing
Your lukewarm love life
161
00:08:49,429 --> 00:08:52,364
Back to a boil.
Yes.
162
00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:55,500
Now...
163
00:08:57,070 --> 00:08:59,170
Showing off my breasts.
164
00:09:05,078 --> 00:09:07,145
Mary:
then the high priestess is carried
165
00:09:07,147 --> 00:09:10,382
- into a mud-thatched roof hut where...
- ( slide projector clicks )
166
00:09:10,384 --> 00:09:13,718
- for seven days and seven nights she's--
- ( thump )
167
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,654
( mary grunts )
168
00:09:18,424 --> 00:09:20,524
Oh, oh!
Thank you, karen.
169
00:09:21,594 --> 00:09:23,294
What are you doing?
170
00:09:23,296 --> 00:09:26,931
I'm boiling our love
By surprising you
In your workplace.
171
00:09:26,933 --> 00:09:29,600
- dick!
- and I've done
Some shaving.
172
00:09:29,602 --> 00:09:33,371
Somewhere on my body
You will discover
A tufted heart.
173
00:09:33,373 --> 00:09:36,408
- ( all gasp )
- leon: oh, god.
174
00:09:36,410 --> 00:09:40,879
Leon! Two classes?
Isn't that a tad weighty
For you?
175
00:09:40,881 --> 00:09:44,616
- dr. Solomon.
- yes, dr. Albright?
176
00:09:44,618 --> 00:09:46,117
Get out.
177
00:09:46,119 --> 00:09:48,953
But I have something important
To casually mention
178
00:09:48,955 --> 00:09:52,790
- that may re-ignite
Our relationship.
- what?
179
00:09:52,792 --> 00:09:55,226
- I'm not wearing
Any panties.
- ( bell ringing )
180
00:10:00,132 --> 00:10:02,634
- you have lost your mind.
- no, mary!
181
00:10:02,636 --> 00:10:04,336
I just want us to be
The way we were.
182
00:10:04,338 --> 00:10:06,237
The greatest
Lovers in history!
183
00:10:06,239 --> 00:10:09,240
Dick! Put your panties
Back on and sit down!
184
00:10:09,242 --> 00:10:11,909
We're fine! There's
Nothing wrong with us.
185
00:10:11,911 --> 00:10:13,978
Our relationship
Is normal.
186
00:10:13,980 --> 00:10:16,981
I don't want normal!
I want ceaseless joy
187
00:10:16,983 --> 00:10:20,050
And never-ending passion
Like romeo and juliet!
188
00:10:20,052 --> 00:10:22,820
They both wound up dead.
189
00:10:22,822 --> 00:10:24,822
- antony and cleopatra.
- dead.
190
00:10:24,824 --> 00:10:26,691
( stammers )
That couple
From "Wuthering heights".
191
00:10:26,693 --> 00:10:28,325
insane and dead.
192
00:10:28,327 --> 00:10:30,361
F. Scott fitzgerald
And zelda.
193
00:10:30,363 --> 00:10:32,663
drunk,
Insane and dead.
194
00:10:32,665 --> 00:10:34,732
( says german couple )
195
00:10:34,734 --> 00:10:36,568
( speaks german )
196
00:10:36,570 --> 00:10:38,570
Ah-ha!
197
00:10:38,572 --> 00:10:40,271
Ziegfried and roy!
198
00:10:40,273 --> 00:10:43,274
Okay, one.
199
00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:48,146
Well, here you go,
Tommy.
200
00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:51,549
A bowl of crunchy flakes
In skim milk.
201
00:10:51,551 --> 00:10:54,385
This is a bowl
Of cold goo.
202
00:10:54,387 --> 00:10:57,187
That's right.
Because in an effort
To be more efficient,
203
00:10:57,189 --> 00:10:59,290
I prepared breakfast
Last night.
204
00:11:01,027 --> 00:11:03,027
And for you, sally,
205
00:11:03,029 --> 00:11:05,963
A hot cup
Of steaming java.
206
00:11:15,041 --> 00:11:18,042
Since when did relationships
Become so much work?
207
00:11:18,044 --> 00:11:20,178
Coffee, dick?
208
00:11:22,048 --> 00:11:24,715
No.
209
00:11:24,717 --> 00:11:26,550
What is it
With this planet?
210
00:11:26,552 --> 00:11:30,054
Nothing ever stays fixed.
Everything is in a constant
State of decay.
211
00:11:30,056 --> 00:11:32,723
It's this damn gravity.
It brings everything down!
212
00:11:34,394 --> 00:11:37,895
Got to get the magic back!
But how?!
213
00:11:37,897 --> 00:11:40,231
I need some guidance,
Some mentor.
214
00:11:40,233 --> 00:11:42,500
Someone who can teach me
The fine art of romance.
215
00:11:42,502 --> 00:11:44,736
But who?
Who?!
216
00:11:44,738 --> 00:11:47,405
Hi, hi, hi.
217
00:11:47,407 --> 00:11:50,341
Do you have anything
For rope burns?
218
00:11:52,211 --> 00:11:55,079
( lounge music playing )
219
00:11:57,417 --> 00:11:59,350
I'm so glad you kids
Could join us.
220
00:11:59,352 --> 00:12:00,918
Oh,
The pleasure's ours.
221
00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:04,422
Thank you for letting us
Be the two little flies
On your wall of love.
222
00:12:04,424 --> 00:12:06,357
Right, mary?
223
00:12:08,161 --> 00:12:10,161
Aren't you gonna eat
Your fat, pookey?
224
00:12:10,163 --> 00:12:12,097
No.
225
00:12:14,267 --> 00:12:16,367
- come on, boom-boom,
Let's shake it!
- yeah.
226
00:12:20,607 --> 00:12:22,106
Just think...
227
00:12:22,108 --> 00:12:24,041
That could be us
In 10 years.
228
00:12:25,411 --> 00:12:27,111
Just think.
229
00:12:27,113 --> 00:12:29,447
- come on, mary,
Let's shake it.
- I'd rather not.
230
00:12:29,449 --> 00:12:31,115
- oh, come on! Come on!
- no, no, no.
231
00:12:31,117 --> 00:12:33,451
Let's break out of this rut,
Rekindle the fire.
232
00:12:33,453 --> 00:12:35,419
Eat my fat, pookey.
Eat my fat.
233
00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:37,288
( laughing )
No, I couldn't.
234
00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:40,291
I guess the magic
Is gone.
235
00:12:40,293 --> 00:12:42,660
No,
The magic's not gone!
236
00:12:42,662 --> 00:12:44,729
Let's go back to your place
And I'll prove it.
237
00:12:44,731 --> 00:12:46,664
Really?
238
00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:50,535
Really.
239
00:12:55,308 --> 00:12:57,608
( wretches )
240
00:12:57,610 --> 00:13:00,545
( romantic music playing )
241
00:13:06,986 --> 00:13:08,719
Relaxed?
242
00:13:08,721 --> 00:13:10,454
- very.
- good.
243
00:13:11,825 --> 00:13:14,425
Because it's time
For a little bedtime story.
244
00:13:18,165 --> 00:13:20,165
"Finally, his eyes
Came to rest
245
00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:24,602
Upon the lush, mossy valley
From whence all pleasure
Spread."
246
00:13:27,841 --> 00:13:29,841
What are you reading to me?
A hiking guide?
247
00:13:29,843 --> 00:13:31,809
Shh.
248
00:13:41,187 --> 00:13:43,187
"She succumbed to him.
249
00:13:43,189 --> 00:13:46,857
And like a lilly unfolding
To morning's first light,
250
00:13:46,859 --> 00:13:51,862
Gave herself over
To the pollinating bee
Of earthly pleasure."
251
00:13:51,864 --> 00:13:54,532
( inhales sharply )
Mmm.
252
00:13:54,534 --> 00:13:56,968
( snores )
253
00:14:01,908 --> 00:14:04,842
Yeah, hi.
Can I please speak
With oprah?
254
00:14:08,381 --> 00:14:10,315
This is sally solomon.
255
00:14:11,384 --> 00:14:13,550
A viewer.
256
00:14:13,552 --> 00:14:15,887
Oh, don't give me that b.S.!
She's not on vacation,
257
00:14:15,889 --> 00:14:17,889
She's right there--
I can see her on my tv!
258
00:14:17,891 --> 00:14:21,392
What do you think I am,
Stupid?! Hello?
259
00:14:21,394 --> 00:14:25,430
Life of a sponge
Isn't easy as it looks,
Is it, sally?
260
00:14:25,432 --> 00:14:28,666
No, I'm not giving up.
Even if oprah won't
Talk to me.
261
00:14:28,668 --> 00:14:30,668
Well, you know,
One thing I learned?
262
00:14:30,670 --> 00:14:34,172
Television always
Goes better with food.
263
00:14:34,174 --> 00:14:36,574
Um,
What is this, harry?
264
00:14:36,576 --> 00:14:38,176
Ice cream.
265
00:14:39,645 --> 00:14:41,913
You know,
I'm really enjoying
Your job, sally.
266
00:14:41,915 --> 00:14:44,515
Oh, and I discovered
Another terrific
Household tip.
267
00:14:44,517 --> 00:14:46,851
If you lay the dirty dishes
In the muller's backyard,
268
00:14:46,853 --> 00:14:49,353
Their dog'll just
Clean them right up for you.
269
00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:55,259
And now, the winner
Of the rutherford county
Essay contest
270
00:14:55,261 --> 00:14:57,261
For the second year
In a row,
271
00:14:57,263 --> 00:14:59,363
August lefler.
272
00:15:01,434 --> 00:15:03,568
( audience laughing )
273
00:15:09,275 --> 00:15:12,209
I think baudelaire
Said it best.
274
00:15:14,948 --> 00:15:18,216
Mary, I think I've figured out
Why we're so incredibly
Tedious together.
275
00:15:18,218 --> 00:15:21,318
Well, we're not
Tedious together.
276
00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:23,955
Mary, don't you see?
We used to be new.
277
00:15:23,957 --> 00:15:25,957
Uncharted territory.
278
00:15:25,959 --> 00:15:29,393
But now I've read
Every page in the mary book.
279
00:15:31,631 --> 00:15:33,464
- is that right?
- mm-hmm.
280
00:15:33,466 --> 00:15:35,299
Sadly, yes.
281
00:15:35,301 --> 00:15:38,802
There are volumes
About me you don't know.
282
00:15:38,804 --> 00:15:40,538
- really?
- yeah.
283
00:15:40,540 --> 00:15:42,206
Face it, mary,
284
00:15:42,208 --> 00:15:44,608
I've checked your footnotes,
Combed your stacks,
285
00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:47,278
Thumbed your index.
286
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:49,547
There are no
Surprises left.
287
00:15:49,549 --> 00:15:51,816
Is that right?
288
00:15:51,818 --> 00:15:54,385
( acoustic guitar music playing )
289
00:15:54,387 --> 00:15:56,387
Where are we,
Grandma's house?
290
00:15:56,389 --> 00:15:58,989
Yeah, this is side of you
I've never seen before.
291
00:15:58,991 --> 00:16:00,624
The evening's young.
292
00:16:04,997 --> 00:16:07,832
- what is this?!
- you've never been
To a kegger?!
293
00:16:07,834 --> 00:16:09,833
( laughs )
294
00:16:09,835 --> 00:16:13,337
Stay close
And follow my lead.
295
00:16:16,442 --> 00:16:18,376
( tv blaring )
296
00:16:20,679 --> 00:16:22,814
( laughs )
297
00:16:22,816 --> 00:16:25,616
You're funny.
298
00:16:25,618 --> 00:16:27,985
He can't hear you, sally.
Trust me.
299
00:16:29,355 --> 00:16:31,288
Where is that remote?
300
00:16:33,492 --> 00:16:35,493
( gasps )
301
00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:38,429
Harry, I can't
Feel my butt.
302
00:16:39,698 --> 00:16:42,032
I can't feel my butt!
303
00:16:42,034 --> 00:16:45,469
- you just have
28-hour keister.
- ( gasps )
304
00:16:45,471 --> 00:16:47,472
I can't take it anymore,
Harry.
305
00:16:47,474 --> 00:16:50,073
Please, give me
My life back!
306
00:16:50,075 --> 00:16:51,742
( chuckles )
307
00:16:51,744 --> 00:16:54,278
No.
308
00:16:55,882 --> 00:16:57,548
Give me the vacuum,
Harry.
309
00:16:57,550 --> 00:16:59,750
Just put it down
And walk away.
310
00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:02,353
No! No!
It's mine!
311
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:05,756
- don't be a fool, harry.
Give it over!
- no!
312
00:17:05,758 --> 00:17:07,424
No, a deal's a deal!
313
00:17:07,426 --> 00:17:10,527
( screams )
Spider!
314
00:17:10,529 --> 00:17:12,530
You want me to kill
The spider, harry?
315
00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:15,232
Huh? Just give me the vacuum
And I'll kill the spider.
316
00:17:15,234 --> 00:17:20,171
I can kill the spider.
I've been practicing
With grapes.
317
00:17:22,075 --> 00:17:25,409
Okay, here's the deal.
Grapes don't have
Eight legs.
318
00:17:25,411 --> 00:17:28,079
- and they don't jump!
- ( screams )
319
00:17:28,081 --> 00:17:29,513
( chuckles )
320
00:17:32,952 --> 00:17:34,885
( thump )
321
00:17:36,088 --> 00:17:38,189
You did it, harry.
Oh my god, you won.
322
00:17:39,259 --> 00:17:41,192
Yes, I did.
323
00:17:42,762 --> 00:17:44,862
( crying )
Poor little spider!
324
00:17:46,266 --> 00:17:49,367
I hope he doesn't
Have kids!
325
00:17:53,106 --> 00:17:55,940
It's over, harry.
It's okay.
326
00:17:55,942 --> 00:17:58,109
Sally's here.
327
00:17:58,111 --> 00:18:00,211
Sally's back.
328
00:18:03,950 --> 00:18:06,450
I can't believe you just
At there like everyone else.
329
00:18:06,452 --> 00:18:08,452
- you didn't even try
To help me.
- ( sighs )
330
00:18:08,454 --> 00:18:11,088
August,
Ever since I've known you,
331
00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:13,124
You've always been
So together--
332
00:18:13,126 --> 00:18:14,492
What?
333
00:18:14,494 --> 00:18:16,494
Well, it's just
Everything you say
334
00:18:16,496 --> 00:18:19,463
And everything you do
And everything you are
Is so perfect,
335
00:18:19,465 --> 00:18:22,966
And up there
Was the first time
I ever saw you actually be...
336
00:18:22,968 --> 00:18:24,968
Human.
337
00:18:24,970 --> 00:18:27,972
You know,
That's what I'm
Looking for in a woman.
338
00:18:27,974 --> 00:18:29,907
Perfect?
Me?
339
00:18:31,143 --> 00:18:33,143
I just got a "C-"
In phys ed
340
00:18:33,145 --> 00:18:35,145
'cause I can't lift
My own body weight.
341
00:18:35,147 --> 00:18:39,483
I bite my nails.
I have a lousy sense
Of direction.
342
00:18:39,485 --> 00:18:43,220
And this nose
Is not exactly
Cindy crawford's.
343
00:18:45,157 --> 00:18:49,092
- you're right. It hooks
A little to the left there--
- so...
344
00:18:50,362 --> 00:18:52,830
- I am not perfect.
- certainly are not.
345
00:18:52,832 --> 00:18:54,832
Good.
346
00:18:54,834 --> 00:18:58,302
But why stop at the nose?
I mean, you're--
347
00:18:58,304 --> 00:18:59,904
Stop at the nose.
348
00:19:02,976 --> 00:19:04,976
Niner.
349
00:19:04,978 --> 00:19:06,977
Deuce.
Lady.
350
00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:09,313
One-eyed jack.
Bug, you've got
A pair showing.
351
00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:11,248
I can't help it.
352
00:19:13,018 --> 00:19:14,519
- I'm out.
- in.
353
00:19:14,521 --> 00:19:17,587
- I'm out.
- read 'em and weep.
354
00:19:17,589 --> 00:19:20,157
- ( all groan )
- ( laughs )
355
00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:21,992
Good bye,
Underwear.
356
00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:24,561
Leon, you still got
Your socks on, buddy!
357
00:19:24,563 --> 00:19:26,497
My feet get cold.
358
00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:29,567
Seven card stud.
359
00:19:31,737 --> 00:19:35,139
- you in?
- I've got nothing left
To lose.
360
00:19:35,141 --> 00:19:37,908
- get me a beer?
- uh--
361
00:19:38,978 --> 00:19:40,911
I'd rather not.
362
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:51,222
So you glad
We tried something new?
363
00:19:51,224 --> 00:19:53,224
Not really.
364
00:19:53,226 --> 00:19:57,161
In fact, it made me
Uncomfortable and cold.
365
00:19:58,397 --> 00:20:00,330
And kind of shrivelly.
366
00:20:01,734 --> 00:20:03,734
I guess we have to accept
The inevitable--
367
00:20:03,736 --> 00:20:05,736
Things will never
Be new again.
368
00:20:05,738 --> 00:20:07,704
But I'm strong enough
To go on.
369
00:20:07,706 --> 00:20:10,741
And on, and on,
And on.
370
00:20:10,743 --> 00:20:12,676
( flatulence )
371
00:20:16,249 --> 00:20:18,148
Excuse me.
372
00:20:21,587 --> 00:20:23,887
- mary!
- I said excuse me.
373
00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:26,424
No.
No, it's fine.
374
00:20:26,426 --> 00:20:28,893
I've never heard you
Do that before.
375
00:20:28,895 --> 00:20:31,495
Do you realize
What this means?
376
00:20:31,497 --> 00:20:33,097
Beef and broccoli?
377
00:20:33,099 --> 00:20:35,265
Yes, but so much more!
378
00:20:35,267 --> 00:20:38,769
Don't you see,
It didn't bother you.
And I didn't bother me.
379
00:20:38,771 --> 00:20:41,472
Well, good, 'cause
There's another one
On the way.
380
00:20:41,474 --> 00:20:43,774
It's the best possible sign.
381
00:20:43,776 --> 00:20:46,109
We've entered a new phase.
It's like you said,
382
00:20:46,111 --> 00:20:49,112
Relationships change.
We've become...
383
00:20:49,114 --> 00:20:51,181
Comfortable
With each other.
384
00:20:51,183 --> 00:20:55,119
It's as if you've
Trumpeted the dawn
Of our new era!
385
00:20:57,790 --> 00:21:01,125
- so, what do you
Want to do tomorrow?
- this.
386
00:21:01,127 --> 00:21:02,826
- you?
- this!
387
00:21:02,828 --> 00:21:05,563
- oh, mary!
- oh!
388
00:21:05,565 --> 00:21:07,498
( flatulence )
389
00:21:09,969 --> 00:21:12,068
Was that you or me?
390
00:21:12,070 --> 00:21:14,005
- does it matter?
- no.
391
00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:25,216
I'm sorry,
Little spider.
392
00:21:27,653 --> 00:21:30,654
If I could trade places
With you...
393
00:21:30,656 --> 00:21:32,589
I would.
394
00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:36,160
( crying )
God, this is so hard!
395
00:21:36,162 --> 00:21:38,162
( toilet flushes )
396
00:21:38,164 --> 00:21:41,098
( playing "Amazing grace" )
30969
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