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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,871 --> 00:00:06,871 I think you'll Like this, dick. 2 00:00:06,873 --> 00:00:09,641 The commercial Said the extra Ingredient is love. 3 00:00:20,388 --> 00:00:23,655 Next time try Making the extra Ingredient cheese. 4 00:00:23,657 --> 00:00:25,890 - what's with harry? - don't bother him. 5 00:00:25,892 --> 00:00:28,560 - he's transmitting My status report. - status report? 6 00:00:28,562 --> 00:00:30,962 To the big giant head? ( groans ) 7 00:00:30,964 --> 00:00:34,466 Why should we have to answer To that pencil-pushing Desk jockey anyway? 8 00:00:34,468 --> 00:00:36,668 Frankly, I don't care What he thinks. 9 00:00:36,670 --> 00:00:39,170 What did it Say about me? 10 00:00:39,172 --> 00:00:41,473 Resume normal functions In three, 11 00:00:41,475 --> 00:00:43,509 Two, one. 12 00:00:43,511 --> 00:00:45,610 ( belches ) 13 00:00:48,515 --> 00:00:51,516 - what did I miss? - so what did you Put in the report? 14 00:00:51,518 --> 00:00:54,719 - lots of time and effort. - come on, read it back. 15 00:00:56,590 --> 00:00:58,690 "Dear big giant head, How are you? 16 00:00:58,692 --> 00:01:01,259 We're fine. So's the weather." Yada, yada, yada. 17 00:01:01,261 --> 00:01:03,929 "The mission is taking Longer than anticipated. 18 00:01:03,931 --> 00:01:06,197 The being designated sally Has bravely infiltrated 19 00:01:06,199 --> 00:01:08,200 The female gender. 20 00:01:08,202 --> 00:01:10,468 the harry unit is functioning adequately. 21 00:01:10,470 --> 00:01:12,471 The high commander Has squandered six months 22 00:01:12,473 --> 00:01:15,407 - in the futile pursuit Of a single earth woman--" - wait, wait! 23 00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:17,409 What was that? 24 00:01:17,411 --> 00:01:20,279 I am functioning Adequately. 25 00:01:20,281 --> 00:01:22,614 That thing about my futile Pursuit of dr. Albright. 26 00:01:22,616 --> 00:01:24,616 How could you write This about me? 27 00:01:24,618 --> 00:01:27,552 I'm the information officer. I'm sworn to tell the truth. 28 00:01:27,554 --> 00:01:29,555 Well, the truth is That through mary 29 00:01:29,557 --> 00:01:32,724 I have explored every facet Of the male/female dynamic. 30 00:01:32,726 --> 00:01:35,193 Have you established A monogamous relationship With her? 31 00:01:35,195 --> 00:01:37,195 - no. - have you bonded Emotionally? 32 00:01:37,197 --> 00:01:39,331 - no. - have you had One successful date? 33 00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:42,634 Well, if by successful You mean pleasant, 34 00:01:42,636 --> 00:01:45,136 No. 35 00:01:45,138 --> 00:01:47,138 I wouldn't Sweat it, dick. 36 00:01:47,140 --> 00:01:49,541 The big giant head Never reads these Things, anyway. 37 00:01:49,543 --> 00:01:52,210 Perhaps I have been remiss, But mark my words. 38 00:01:52,212 --> 00:01:54,212 By the week's end, I will have established 39 00:01:54,214 --> 00:01:56,214 An emotional beachhead With dr. Albright. 40 00:01:56,216 --> 00:01:58,316 This I vow. 41 00:01:58,318 --> 00:02:00,819 Yeah, and harry's going To win the nobel prize. 42 00:02:00,821 --> 00:02:04,656 Well, I'm happy Just to be nominated. 43 00:02:04,658 --> 00:02:06,692 ( '50s rock music playing ) 44 00:02:37,024 --> 00:02:39,056 - good morning. - good morning, nina. 45 00:02:39,058 --> 00:02:40,725 Those are nice. 46 00:02:40,727 --> 00:02:42,861 They cost $89. 47 00:02:42,863 --> 00:02:45,197 - don't tell her that. - oh, right. 48 00:02:45,199 --> 00:02:47,032 - ( exhales ) - good morning. 49 00:02:47,034 --> 00:02:48,800 They cost $89. 50 00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:53,004 - oh. - dr. Albright, would You do me the honor 51 00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:55,006 Of joining me For dinner tonight? 52 00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:56,674 No. 53 00:03:01,915 --> 00:03:03,682 Why are you doing this? 54 00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:05,550 Can't you see how much Pain you're causing? 55 00:03:05,552 --> 00:03:07,485 He's nothing, If not resilient. 56 00:03:07,487 --> 00:03:09,721 Not him, me. The two of you 57 00:03:09,723 --> 00:03:11,723 Are driving me Up the wall. 58 00:03:11,725 --> 00:03:13,725 You're obviously Attracted to him. 59 00:03:13,727 --> 00:03:15,661 Take a chance On love, woman. 60 00:03:17,164 --> 00:03:19,798 - I don't know. - look at him. 61 00:03:24,805 --> 00:03:27,739 I suppose it's time To give the big dog A biscuit. 62 00:03:29,409 --> 00:03:31,409 And I do Have to eat. 63 00:03:33,814 --> 00:03:35,914 - okay, I'll go out with you. - yes! 64 00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:42,654 Come on, dick, I really need To get in there. 65 00:03:42,656 --> 00:03:44,990 I'm sorry. I need to be Handsome tonight, 66 00:03:44,992 --> 00:03:47,358 And I mean Sears-catalog handsome. 67 00:03:49,530 --> 00:03:52,531 If he wants to get Somewhere with her, He should follow my lead. 68 00:03:52,533 --> 00:03:55,434 Mr. Randell and I have A dreamy relationship. 69 00:03:55,436 --> 00:03:58,402 Yeah, you don't Even call him By his first name. 70 00:03:58,404 --> 00:04:01,773 That's what sophisticated People do on this planet. 71 00:04:01,775 --> 00:04:04,509 I realize it's Not as romantic As you and august 72 00:04:04,511 --> 00:04:06,945 Meeting in the lunchroom And sharing your pudding cup. 73 00:04:06,947 --> 00:04:10,415 Hey! We were just Voted cutest couple, So shut up. 74 00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:12,417 Okay, where's my shoes? 75 00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:15,354 I think I saw one of them Right over there. 76 00:04:20,660 --> 00:04:22,794 Oh, my god, It's harry. 77 00:04:22,796 --> 00:04:24,863 His cranial microreceiver, It's activated. 78 00:04:24,865 --> 00:04:27,365 Transmission incoming From the big giant head. 79 00:04:27,367 --> 00:04:30,201 Thank you for calling The big giant head. 80 00:04:30,203 --> 00:04:32,169 He cares about you. 81 00:04:33,807 --> 00:04:37,075 Your status Report was received. Please wait for comments. 82 00:04:37,077 --> 00:04:39,944 - oh, no, no, no. - please, please, No comments. 83 00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:41,880 - there are no comments. - ( all sigh ) 84 00:04:41,882 --> 00:04:45,316 Resume normal functions In three, two, one. 85 00:04:45,318 --> 00:04:47,886 ( sneezes ) 86 00:04:47,888 --> 00:04:50,589 I told you the big Giant head never Reads those things. 87 00:04:50,591 --> 00:04:52,724 I really resent how We're supposed to jump 88 00:04:52,726 --> 00:04:54,859 Every time The big giant head Sends a message. 89 00:04:54,861 --> 00:04:57,261 I know, Everyone knows he Only got the job 90 00:04:57,263 --> 00:04:59,431 By kissing The big giant butt. 91 00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:05,136 ( speaking japanese ) 92 00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:07,172 ( all repeating Japanese phrase ) 93 00:05:08,742 --> 00:05:11,676 Oh, this is fun. What a great idea. 94 00:05:11,678 --> 00:05:13,678 - hai. - hai. 95 00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:16,081 All: oh! 96 00:05:16,083 --> 00:05:17,482 - hai. - hai. 97 00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:19,951 ( speaking japanese ) 98 00:05:19,953 --> 00:05:21,586 - hai. - hai. 99 00:05:21,588 --> 00:05:23,655 ( all applauding ) 100 00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:25,256 - hai. - hai. 101 00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:33,031 Hey, he knew what He was getting into 102 00:05:33,033 --> 00:05:35,033 When he took this job. 103 00:05:36,803 --> 00:05:38,803 August, we share 104 00:05:38,805 --> 00:05:41,773 - more than Pudding, don't we? - you've got pudding? 105 00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:46,577 No, I was using it As a metaphor for Our relationship. 106 00:05:46,579 --> 00:05:48,580 Our relationship Is soft and gooey? 107 00:05:48,582 --> 00:05:52,083 No, no. Never mind, okay? Never mind. 108 00:05:52,085 --> 00:05:54,185 You didn't have To walk me up. I know the way. 109 00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:55,987 I don't mind. You mentioned coffee. 110 00:05:55,989 --> 00:05:57,589 - hey, guys. - both: hi, mr. Randell. 111 00:05:57,591 --> 00:06:01,025 Well, sit down. Take off your Shirt-- shoes. 112 00:06:04,097 --> 00:06:07,966 Tommy, I need the parlor To entertain mr. Randell, 113 00:06:07,968 --> 00:06:11,269 Mr. Kevin randell. 114 00:06:11,271 --> 00:06:13,572 - we're doing homework. - yeah, mesopotamia. 115 00:06:13,574 --> 00:06:16,040 Oh, the fertile Crescent. 116 00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:18,143 Would you like To see it? 117 00:06:25,185 --> 00:06:27,919 - pardon? - never mind. 118 00:06:27,921 --> 00:06:31,589 I'll see to that coffee. Tommy, help auntie sally. 119 00:06:31,591 --> 00:06:33,591 Excuse us. 120 00:06:33,593 --> 00:06:35,994 I need the living room to be alone with mr. Randell. 121 00:06:35,996 --> 00:06:37,862 - why? - I think I'm falling in love with the guy. 122 00:06:37,864 --> 00:06:40,766 Tommy: you just want the living room so you can make out. 123 00:06:41,835 --> 00:06:43,502 So how's history This year? 124 00:06:43,504 --> 00:06:44,903 - good. - good. 125 00:06:45,972 --> 00:06:48,406 ( speaking japanese ) 126 00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:50,274 ( all repeating Japanese phrase ) 127 00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:57,282 ( meat sizzling ) 128 00:07:00,788 --> 00:07:02,520 ( all gasp ) 129 00:07:15,201 --> 00:07:17,135 ( gasps ) 130 00:07:18,371 --> 00:07:20,304 ( screams ) 131 00:07:32,986 --> 00:07:35,720 Oh-hh, hai! 132 00:07:35,722 --> 00:07:37,656 Oh-hh, hi. 133 00:07:38,825 --> 00:07:40,925 ( sizzling ) 134 00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:51,102 ( patrons applauding ) 135 00:07:53,907 --> 00:07:56,608 Thanks for Bailing me out. 136 00:07:56,610 --> 00:07:59,644 You are so much fun. 137 00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:02,480 Dr. Albright, Your hand is On my knee. 138 00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:05,316 - do you want me To move it? - please. 139 00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:07,619 No, I meant Move it around. 140 00:08:10,189 --> 00:08:12,256 Well, august Sure left early. 141 00:08:12,258 --> 00:08:14,592 After you dumped coffee On her, she got the hint. 142 00:08:14,594 --> 00:08:17,028 She made A rude comment about My jell-o with cheese. 143 00:08:17,030 --> 00:08:19,264 Jell-o with cheese? What kind of woman Are you? 144 00:08:19,266 --> 00:08:21,866 Come on, Let's not squabble. We're family. 145 00:08:21,868 --> 00:08:24,636 Sit, sit, Sit, sit, sit, Sit, sit, sit. 146 00:08:24,638 --> 00:08:27,304 Let's play A game, shall we? What'll it be? 147 00:08:27,306 --> 00:08:29,507 - bite me. - all right, who's it? 148 00:08:31,744 --> 00:08:33,778 Okay, fine. You know, 149 00:08:33,780 --> 00:08:37,548 You try to help, But this is the thanks You ge--! 150 00:08:37,550 --> 00:08:39,918 Transmission incoming From the big giant head. 151 00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:43,054 - what, again? - thank you for Your status report. 152 00:08:43,056 --> 00:08:45,924 I judge your mission to be A complete failure. 153 00:08:45,926 --> 00:08:48,993 Replacements arrive In 24 hours. 154 00:08:48,995 --> 00:08:52,697 Resume normal functions In three, two, one. 155 00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:54,633 ( snorts ) 156 00:08:57,704 --> 00:08:59,304 What did I miss? 157 00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:03,875 - they're aborting the mission. - replacements arrive tomorrow. 158 00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:05,777 They're sending us home. 159 00:09:05,779 --> 00:09:08,212 All: oh! 160 00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:11,582 Oh-hh! 161 00:09:11,584 --> 00:09:13,584 ( continues moaning ) 162 00:09:18,091 --> 00:09:20,358 Oh, dr. Albright, 163 00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:23,762 That was the greatest 30 seconds of my life. 164 00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:34,505 Ahh! Smell The spring air. 165 00:09:34,507 --> 00:09:36,641 What do you say We have class outside? 166 00:09:36,643 --> 00:09:38,976 The world is Such a perfect place. 167 00:09:38,978 --> 00:09:42,146 - what are we Doing indoors? - leon: dr. Solomon. 168 00:09:42,148 --> 00:09:44,115 What is it, darling? 169 00:09:45,786 --> 00:09:49,620 Well, I think we're Supposed to be having Our final exam. 170 00:09:49,622 --> 00:09:52,791 I'm shooting for A "D," so I'll need The full hour. 171 00:09:54,361 --> 00:09:56,361 Final exam? 172 00:09:56,363 --> 00:09:58,296 Today? 173 00:09:59,466 --> 00:10:02,567 I forgot. Isn't that a hoot? 174 00:10:02,569 --> 00:10:05,903 You see, I didn't make It home last night. 175 00:10:05,905 --> 00:10:07,905 I could have, 176 00:10:07,907 --> 00:10:10,341 But I was awfully Comfortable where I was, 177 00:10:10,343 --> 00:10:14,212 In a place that's Definitely not home. 178 00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:16,214 Dr. Solomon, 179 00:10:16,216 --> 00:10:18,116 Are you... All right? 180 00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:20,251 I can't talk about it. It's too personal. 181 00:10:20,253 --> 00:10:23,588 Let's just say I had sex With dr. Albright. 182 00:10:23,590 --> 00:10:25,523 Oh! 183 00:10:27,260 --> 00:10:29,928 Dr. Solomon, We don't need To know about this. 184 00:10:29,930 --> 00:10:33,197 That's where You're wrong, bug. You might learn something. 185 00:10:34,668 --> 00:10:37,468 Last night at 11:22, 186 00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:39,737 Eastern standard time, 187 00:10:39,739 --> 00:10:41,739 My spiritual Self, "X," 188 00:10:41,741 --> 00:10:44,409 And my corporeal Self, "Y," 189 00:10:44,411 --> 00:10:46,344 Were fused together... 190 00:10:47,580 --> 00:10:49,514 For the first time. 191 00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:55,320 But let's move on. 192 00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:58,957 Dick, I need To talk to you. I have big news. 193 00:10:58,959 --> 00:11:00,591 I have big news, too. 194 00:11:00,593 --> 00:11:02,861 Can we please just step Outside for a minute? 195 00:11:02,863 --> 00:11:04,863 All right. Class, While I'm gone, 196 00:11:04,865 --> 00:11:07,866 I'd like you to ponder Being naked under cool, 197 00:11:07,868 --> 00:11:09,801 Cool sheets. 198 00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:14,439 We're leaving?! 199 00:11:14,441 --> 00:11:18,776 No-ooo! 200 00:11:23,783 --> 00:11:26,217 - just answer my question. - all right. 201 00:11:26,219 --> 00:11:28,652 Hypothetically speaking, If you were out Of my life, 202 00:11:28,654 --> 00:11:31,422 I'd experience Separation anxiety, 203 00:11:31,424 --> 00:11:33,524 And I'd probably harbor Some resentment. 204 00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:37,328 But you know that even If we weren't together, I'd always care about you? 205 00:11:37,330 --> 00:11:39,530 Wait a second, Are you dumping me? 206 00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:42,833 - no. No! - it's that cheerleader Cheryl, isn't it? 207 00:11:42,835 --> 00:11:46,070 Well, let me Clue you in, pal. It's all padding. 208 00:11:46,072 --> 00:11:48,440 No, august, you don't-- 209 00:11:48,442 --> 00:11:50,742 You don't understand. 210 00:11:50,744 --> 00:11:52,777 Wait. It is? 211 00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:56,314 - can I ask you A question? - sure. 212 00:11:56,316 --> 00:12:00,150 If I could Never make coffee For you again-- 213 00:12:00,152 --> 00:12:02,152 Not that that's Going to happen. 214 00:12:02,154 --> 00:12:05,322 I mean, I'm here with my pot, Ready to pour. 215 00:12:05,324 --> 00:12:07,325 Would you miss me? 216 00:12:07,327 --> 00:12:09,727 Why are you Asking me this? 217 00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:11,996 I don't know. 218 00:12:11,998 --> 00:12:15,166 Call it girlish Insecurity. 219 00:12:16,335 --> 00:12:18,336 - how would you feel? - awful. 220 00:12:18,338 --> 00:12:20,504 Awful like somebody Ripped your heart out 221 00:12:20,506 --> 00:12:22,606 And then showed It to you? 222 00:12:22,608 --> 00:12:25,276 Well, not showed It to me. 223 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:28,846 So what you're saying is, Without me 224 00:12:28,848 --> 00:12:30,614 You'd be A lonely, miserable wreck 225 00:12:30,616 --> 00:12:33,317 For what, a week, a month, The rest of your life? 226 00:12:33,319 --> 00:12:36,120 The rest of my life. 227 00:12:36,122 --> 00:12:38,723 Oh, mr. Randell. 228 00:12:38,725 --> 00:12:41,859 ( sighs ) 229 00:12:41,861 --> 00:12:45,196 You don't know how Happy you've made me. 230 00:12:45,198 --> 00:12:47,131 Certainly. 231 00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:56,674 I thought you And dr. Solomon had A date again tonight. 232 00:12:56,676 --> 00:12:59,277 - we did. - he stood you up? 233 00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:02,046 Oh, no, I talked to him. 234 00:13:02,048 --> 00:13:05,183 He said he got An upsetting phone Call from a friend 235 00:13:05,185 --> 00:13:07,185 With a big head, 236 00:13:07,187 --> 00:13:09,554 And he didn't think He'd be much fun tonight. 237 00:13:09,556 --> 00:13:12,890 Oh. Well, my all-time Favorite excuse was 238 00:13:12,892 --> 00:13:15,059 "I have a terminal Illness." 239 00:13:15,061 --> 00:13:17,061 You actually had that Pulled on you? 240 00:13:17,063 --> 00:13:20,665 Yes, but in all fairness, The guy died. 241 00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:23,968 Are you going To be okay? 242 00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:26,470 I am at the stage In my life 243 00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:30,074 Where I refuse to let A man's childish behavior 244 00:13:30,076 --> 00:13:32,910 Steer me off course. I am taking the high road. 245 00:13:32,912 --> 00:13:35,346 Yeah? If I were you, I'd go over there 246 00:13:35,348 --> 00:13:38,115 And nail his sorry ass To the wall. 247 00:13:38,117 --> 00:13:40,084 That is The high road. 248 00:13:43,657 --> 00:13:46,957 I can't believe We're being called back. I don't want to go. 249 00:13:46,959 --> 00:13:49,993 I know. I'm so upset. I don't know what to pack. 250 00:13:49,995 --> 00:13:53,964 Do you think I could Take these open-toed Metallic sandals? 251 00:13:53,966 --> 00:13:57,601 Lieutenant, Once we're out of here, We won't even have feet. 252 00:13:57,603 --> 00:14:00,671 But they look like a pump And feel like a sneaker. 253 00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:03,474 - pull yourself together. - ( wails ) 254 00:14:03,476 --> 00:14:06,310 I've grown attached To certain things On this planet, too. 255 00:14:06,312 --> 00:14:08,712 You think I'm not going To miss the sunsets, 256 00:14:08,714 --> 00:14:10,714 The change of seasons, 257 00:14:10,716 --> 00:14:12,883 The way my students Avert their eyes 258 00:14:12,885 --> 00:14:15,586 When I pass them In the halls? 259 00:14:15,588 --> 00:14:19,457 You know what I'm going To miss the most? All of you. 260 00:14:19,459 --> 00:14:22,126 What do you mean? We're still Going to be together. We're still a unit. 261 00:14:22,128 --> 00:14:24,595 I know, but we won't Be a family anymore. 262 00:14:24,597 --> 00:14:26,430 - oh, lieutenant. - oh, sir. 263 00:14:27,934 --> 00:14:31,702 I promised myself I wasn't going To do this. 264 00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:34,305 Harry, be brave. 265 00:14:34,307 --> 00:14:38,041 This is no time For weakness. We must be strong. 266 00:14:38,043 --> 00:14:40,945 - dick. - mary. 267 00:14:40,947 --> 00:14:42,947 - dick. - mary. 268 00:14:42,949 --> 00:14:44,348 - dick. - harry. 269 00:14:44,350 --> 00:14:46,251 What? 270 00:14:46,253 --> 00:14:49,253 I'd like a few words With you in private. 271 00:14:49,255 --> 00:14:51,289 Mary, we have No secrets. 272 00:14:51,291 --> 00:14:54,859 Whatever we have to say To each other we can say In front of the whole group. 273 00:14:54,861 --> 00:14:58,229 - last night when We were having-- - let's go out onto the roof. 274 00:15:00,099 --> 00:15:03,668 Well, I'm going to go down And get my record collection For the trip back. 275 00:15:03,670 --> 00:15:06,303 You know, tunes For the road. 276 00:15:06,305 --> 00:15:09,774 Great, 14 light-years Of glen campbell. 277 00:15:11,277 --> 00:15:13,644 - I have something To say to you. - so do I. 278 00:15:13,646 --> 00:15:15,646 Something important, 279 00:15:15,648 --> 00:15:17,648 But I don't know How to start. 280 00:15:17,650 --> 00:15:19,650 Let me take A stab at it. 281 00:15:19,652 --> 00:15:22,319 You love me. Last night meant The world to you, 282 00:15:22,321 --> 00:15:25,089 But you have To push me away So you don't hurt me. 283 00:15:25,091 --> 00:15:26,924 Someday I'll see it Was all for the best. 284 00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:28,859 Please believe you! Please believe you! 285 00:15:28,861 --> 00:15:31,028 That's it exactly. 286 00:15:31,030 --> 00:15:33,731 Mary, you understand My every thought. 287 00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:37,401 I understand. You've had the milk. Why buy the cow? 288 00:15:37,403 --> 00:15:41,205 No, I want you. I want the cow. 289 00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:46,944 For what, A one-night stand In the barn? 290 00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:49,113 I will not be Treated this way. 291 00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:51,515 - you hurt me. - how did I hurt you? 292 00:15:51,517 --> 00:15:54,552 Do you know Why we ended up At my place last night? 293 00:15:54,554 --> 00:15:58,289 Not because I was lonely. Not because I had Too much sake. 294 00:15:58,291 --> 00:16:00,791 We ended up There because... 295 00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:02,660 I care for you. 296 00:16:02,662 --> 00:16:04,595 Oh, mary. 297 00:16:06,999 --> 00:16:09,800 Why did you have to wait Until now to tell me? 298 00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:12,703 What's wrong with now? 299 00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:16,440 I wish I had a machine That could freeze time. 300 00:16:16,442 --> 00:16:19,209 Unfortunately, I left it In my other jacket. 301 00:16:22,916 --> 00:16:24,916 - dick? - aah! 302 00:16:24,918 --> 00:16:28,485 Come in here. I've got wonderful News from "Home." 303 00:16:28,487 --> 00:16:30,487 You-- 304 00:16:30,489 --> 00:16:33,024 Wait right here. I'll be right back. 305 00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:36,360 ( mooing ) 306 00:16:39,932 --> 00:16:42,132 Dick's here. What is it? 307 00:16:42,134 --> 00:16:45,402 - there was a mistake In the message. - tell me! 308 00:16:45,404 --> 00:16:48,239 Dick, you're the only One who's going. We all get to stay. 309 00:16:48,241 --> 00:16:51,042 - yeah! - yeah! 310 00:16:51,044 --> 00:16:54,045 Both: aw! 311 00:16:54,047 --> 00:16:56,447 How did you get Your information? 312 00:16:56,449 --> 00:16:59,517 I was down in the basement Getting my record collection, 313 00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:03,053 - and I bumped into Your replacement. - my replacement? 314 00:17:03,055 --> 00:17:05,756 It's in the basement. He wants to talk To you, dick, 315 00:17:05,758 --> 00:17:07,691 Now. 316 00:17:15,468 --> 00:17:17,401 Hello? 317 00:17:19,439 --> 00:17:21,572 Hello? 318 00:17:21,574 --> 00:17:23,574 Hello? 319 00:17:23,576 --> 00:17:25,509 Where are you? 320 00:17:27,513 --> 00:17:28,779 You-- 321 00:17:30,250 --> 00:17:32,183 You're gorgeous! 322 00:17:34,219 --> 00:17:36,219 Thank you. 323 00:17:36,221 --> 00:17:39,156 This body should Suit me nicely. 324 00:17:39,158 --> 00:17:42,159 The big giant head Is very unhappy, 325 00:17:42,161 --> 00:17:44,495 Commander. 326 00:17:44,497 --> 00:17:47,265 I've been sent here To replace you 327 00:17:47,267 --> 00:17:49,500 And complete The mission 328 00:17:49,502 --> 00:17:52,336 With ruthless Efficiency. 329 00:17:52,338 --> 00:17:54,839 ( gasps ) 330 00:17:54,841 --> 00:17:58,208 And now I'm Afraid it's time 331 00:17:58,210 --> 00:18:00,644 For me to assume Command. 332 00:18:02,182 --> 00:18:05,015 You think you can Just waltz in here And take over? 333 00:18:05,017 --> 00:18:07,618 You have no idea! The people here 334 00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:09,620 Are so complex. 335 00:18:09,622 --> 00:18:12,123 They have all these Feelings and impulses, 336 00:18:12,125 --> 00:18:14,125 Dreams and fears. 337 00:18:14,127 --> 00:18:16,127 And every time You've mastered one, 338 00:18:16,129 --> 00:18:18,128 Another one catches You by surprise. 339 00:18:18,130 --> 00:18:20,898 Tonight I finally Made a breakthrough. 340 00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:24,468 One of these people Cares about me. 341 00:18:24,470 --> 00:18:26,504 You can't make me Leave now! 342 00:18:26,506 --> 00:18:28,171 Oh, yes, I can. 343 00:18:28,173 --> 00:18:30,407 What about... 344 00:18:30,409 --> 00:18:32,242 Mary? 345 00:18:32,244 --> 00:18:35,712 I'll take care Of her... Good. 346 00:18:35,714 --> 00:18:38,482 No. I won't Allow it! 347 00:18:38,484 --> 00:18:40,718 I love her! I'm not leaving her! 348 00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:43,220 How touching. 349 00:18:43,222 --> 00:18:46,390 You know, you've actually Changed my mind. 350 00:18:46,392 --> 00:18:49,326 I think I will Let you stay here, 351 00:18:49,328 --> 00:18:51,328 Right here, 352 00:18:51,330 --> 00:18:52,596 Forever. 353 00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:56,267 ( sinister laughter ) 354 00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:02,673 No. You're not-- 355 00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:08,512 ( gasping ) 356 00:19:10,216 --> 00:19:12,216 Oh, my god! 357 00:19:12,218 --> 00:19:14,218 He's turned me Into a mime! 358 00:19:17,122 --> 00:19:20,357 You know, if you play "Wichita lineman" Backwards, 359 00:19:20,359 --> 00:19:22,793 You get our National anthem. 360 00:19:26,365 --> 00:19:28,665 ( chuckling sinisterly ) 361 00:19:28,667 --> 00:19:30,100 What's so funny, dick? 362 00:19:30,102 --> 00:19:33,771 I am not... Dick. 363 00:19:34,907 --> 00:19:37,674 I'm your new High commander. 364 00:19:37,676 --> 00:19:41,178 From this point forward, You will refer to me As such. 365 00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:43,114 Okay, 366 00:19:43,116 --> 00:19:45,382 Such. 367 00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:53,891 - what have you Done with dick? - that's for me to know 368 00:19:53,893 --> 00:19:56,494 And you to find out. 369 00:19:56,496 --> 00:19:59,863 There's going to be A lot of changes Around here. 370 00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:02,299 For instance, From now on, 371 00:20:02,301 --> 00:20:04,735 This... 372 00:20:04,737 --> 00:20:06,670 Goes here. 373 00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:15,445 And that's just The first of many... 374 00:20:17,349 --> 00:20:19,349 Changes. 375 00:20:22,989 --> 00:20:25,623 Wow, what A black hole. 376 00:20:31,563 --> 00:20:33,631 - mary. - is everything all right? 377 00:20:33,633 --> 00:20:35,866 Everything's perfect. 378 00:20:35,868 --> 00:20:37,868 For the last six Months, I've been 379 00:20:37,870 --> 00:20:39,870 A bumbling fool. 380 00:20:39,872 --> 00:20:43,273 As of right now, That's over. 381 00:20:43,275 --> 00:20:45,876 I only care about One thing now, 382 00:20:45,878 --> 00:20:48,278 And that's pleasure-- 383 00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:51,915 Yours and mine. 384 00:20:51,917 --> 00:20:55,319 - oh, please. - that's good. 385 00:20:55,321 --> 00:20:58,322 I like it When they beg. 386 00:20:58,324 --> 00:21:02,225 - how dare you-- - shh! 387 00:21:02,227 --> 00:21:04,328 Let daddy drive. 388 00:21:10,836 --> 00:21:12,669 ( sighs ) 389 00:21:12,671 --> 00:21:14,605 Wow! 390 00:21:21,046 --> 00:21:24,147 ( '50s rock music playing ) 30874

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