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1
00:00:03,670 --> 00:00:05,704
( giggles )
Look at this "Garfield."
2
00:00:05,706 --> 00:00:07,973
( speaking french )
3
00:00:11,145 --> 00:00:13,678
( all laughing
With french accent )
4
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:17,249
I don't care what
Language you speak,
That cat's funny.
5
00:00:17,251 --> 00:00:19,284
What have you
Got there, harry?
6
00:00:19,286 --> 00:00:22,954
Yesterday I was
Exploring the park,
And I found this stone.
7
00:00:22,956 --> 00:00:24,956
Look at it.
It's been worn
8
00:00:24,958 --> 00:00:28,393
To a perfect sphere
By the elements
And dimpled by time.
9
00:00:28,395 --> 00:00:30,762
Harry, that's
A golf ball.
10
00:00:30,764 --> 00:00:34,199
You've got way too much
Free time on your hands.
11
00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:37,669
Well, you know, dick, I've tried
A lot of different things
Since we got to earth,
12
00:00:37,671 --> 00:00:41,240
And I've made a discovery--
I'm not good at anything.
13
00:00:41,242 --> 00:00:43,642
There's got to be something
That you can do.
14
00:00:43,644 --> 00:00:46,345
Here, let me look
Through the want ads.
15
00:00:46,347 --> 00:00:48,813
- what's that smell?
- I'm making
Blueberry muffins.
16
00:00:48,815 --> 00:00:51,216
- smells like they're done.
- no, the timer
Didn't go off.
17
00:00:51,218 --> 00:00:53,818
- yes, but lieutenant--
- I have incinerated
Entire armies.
18
00:00:53,820 --> 00:00:56,655
I think I can handle
An oven.
19
00:00:56,657 --> 00:00:58,657
I'm glad to hear
You say that
20
00:00:58,659 --> 00:01:01,993
- 'cause I signed you up
For a bake sale.
- what's a bake sale?
21
00:01:01,995 --> 00:01:04,929
It's just an attempt
To revive a failing
Educational system
22
00:01:04,931 --> 00:01:06,965
Through parental
Involvement.
23
00:01:06,967 --> 00:01:09,934
A fine cause.
I'm there.
24
00:01:09,936 --> 00:01:12,571
I really think you should
Check on those muffins.
25
00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:15,507
The box said 15 minutes.
You don't argue
With the box.
26
00:01:15,509 --> 00:01:17,509
Here's something
That you could do.
27
00:01:17,511 --> 00:01:19,544
They want somebody
To sweep up
The burger palace.
28
00:01:19,546 --> 00:01:21,546
Oh, sure,
29
00:01:21,548 --> 00:01:24,483
After about four years
Of grad school maybe.
30
00:01:24,485 --> 00:01:26,518
- ( timer dings )
- now they're done.
31
00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:29,220
Ooh! Look at this.
32
00:01:29,222 --> 00:01:31,290
Here's a job I can do.
33
00:01:31,292 --> 00:01:33,659
"Police seek third gunman."
34
00:01:36,897 --> 00:01:40,198
Tomorrow I'm going
To march right down
To the police station
35
00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:44,169
- and tell them I'm the man
They're looking for.
- good for you.
36
00:01:44,171 --> 00:01:46,171
- ( smoke alarm beeping )
- they're ready,
37
00:01:46,173 --> 00:01:49,007
But they're just going
To be a little burnt.
( coughs )
38
00:01:49,009 --> 00:01:51,009
( '50s rock music playing )
39
00:02:26,447 --> 00:02:28,780
- this is the bake sale
Committee, right?
- yes.
40
00:02:28,782 --> 00:02:32,417
- I don't believe
I've seen you before.
- I don't believe you're blond.
41
00:02:36,357 --> 00:02:39,023
Okay, everybody,
Let's take our seats
42
00:02:39,025 --> 00:02:41,126
And get started.
43
00:02:41,128 --> 00:02:43,962
As you know,
This is my sixth year
44
00:02:43,964 --> 00:02:46,632
As chairman
Of the bake sale.
45
00:02:46,634 --> 00:02:48,634
And, um...
46
00:02:48,636 --> 00:02:51,536
I think we've done
Pretty darn well.
47
00:02:51,538 --> 00:02:55,140
- last year, we raised $500.
- ( all murmuring favorably )
48
00:02:55,142 --> 00:02:57,008
How much did you
Make before that?
49
00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:59,010
Well, I don't
Want to brag,
50
00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:02,914
But we've made roughly $500
Each of the last six years.
51
00:03:02,916 --> 00:03:04,949
Uh-huh. So what
You're saying is,
52
00:03:04,951 --> 00:03:07,319
The group is stagnating
Under your leadership.
53
00:03:09,222 --> 00:03:11,222
You're new around here.
54
00:03:11,224 --> 00:03:13,492
Let's start the meeting,
Shall we?
55
00:03:13,494 --> 00:03:15,560
Any thoughts
On this year's sale?
56
00:03:15,562 --> 00:03:17,562
Yeah, I have a thought.
57
00:03:17,564 --> 00:03:19,831
This group isn't advancing.
It's retreating.
58
00:03:19,833 --> 00:03:22,301
You dropped
The ball, sister.
59
00:03:22,303 --> 00:03:24,403
I am a master chef.
60
00:03:24,405 --> 00:03:27,472
I trained at the culinary
Institute of pittsburgh.
61
00:03:27,474 --> 00:03:30,041
I think I know
A little bit
About baking.
62
00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:32,811
Okay, well, here's what
I know about baking: zip.
63
00:03:32,813 --> 00:03:34,913
These troops
Need a leader,
64
00:03:34,915 --> 00:03:38,149
Not some chirpy,
Weak-chinned,
Underachieving drone.
65
00:03:38,151 --> 00:03:40,084
No offense.
66
00:03:40,086 --> 00:03:43,021
Look, if you aim
For 500 bucks,
You get 500 bucks.
67
00:03:43,023 --> 00:03:45,089
But there's a saying
Where I come from--
68
00:03:45,091 --> 00:03:48,894
"When you want to punch
Someone in the nose, you aim
For the back of the head."
69
00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:50,896
That is, if they
Have a head.
70
00:03:50,898 --> 00:03:54,365
So aim for 10 grand
And don't settle for
Anything less than five.
71
00:03:54,367 --> 00:03:56,768
Um, grace...
72
00:03:56,770 --> 00:03:58,937
I think she should
Be in charge.
73
00:04:05,012 --> 00:04:08,046
- ah! Good morning, nina.
- good morning.
74
00:04:08,048 --> 00:04:11,683
Nina, my brother harry is
Trying to find something
To keep himself busy.
75
00:04:11,685 --> 00:04:14,385
I was just wondering,
How did you get this job?
76
00:04:14,387 --> 00:04:16,521
I found a magic lamp
On the beach,
77
00:04:16,523 --> 00:04:18,657
And this was
My first wish.
78
00:04:18,659 --> 00:04:20,659
Wonderful.
79
00:04:20,661 --> 00:04:24,195
How can harry get hold
Of a magic lamp?
80
00:04:26,299 --> 00:04:28,867
- good morning,
Dr. Solomon.
- ah, dr. Albright.
81
00:04:28,869 --> 00:04:30,869
There's something different
About you this morning.
82
00:04:30,871 --> 00:04:33,805
- I have a new blouse.
- no, that's not it.
83
00:04:33,807 --> 00:04:37,408
And I hope you didn't pay
Too much for it.
84
00:04:37,410 --> 00:04:39,778
That's it!
It's the box.
What's in it?
85
00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:42,080
Oh, this?
Painting supplies.
86
00:04:42,082 --> 00:04:44,983
I'm taking a painting class.
I'm not very good at it.
87
00:04:44,985 --> 00:04:47,151
So, you're bad.
88
00:04:47,153 --> 00:04:49,153
I wouldn't say
I was bad.
89
00:04:49,155 --> 00:04:52,156
You have to understand I have
Incredibly high standards
90
00:04:52,158 --> 00:04:54,826
And I tend to be
Very critical of myself.
91
00:04:54,828 --> 00:04:56,828
But, as an amateur,
92
00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:58,897
I've demonstrated
Quite a bit of potential.
93
00:04:58,899 --> 00:05:00,832
So, you're bad.
94
00:05:02,069 --> 00:05:04,002
Yeah,
95
00:05:04,004 --> 00:05:06,004
But art is
Essentially subjective.
96
00:05:06,006 --> 00:05:08,006
There is no good or bad.
97
00:05:08,008 --> 00:05:11,342
- so if you stink, you're
Still allowed to do it?
- well...
98
00:05:11,344 --> 00:05:13,945
- that sounds perfect.
- are you interested?
99
00:05:13,947 --> 00:05:15,947
Me? Don't be
Ridiculous.
100
00:05:15,949 --> 00:05:17,882
- I was talking
About harry.
- oh.
101
00:05:17,884 --> 00:05:21,452
Oh, you thought I
Was worried about being
Less than perfect?
102
00:05:21,454 --> 00:05:23,788
( laughs )
That's rich.
103
00:05:23,790 --> 00:05:25,690
( laughing continues )
104
00:05:26,893 --> 00:05:28,927
Here's how
It's going to work.
105
00:05:28,929 --> 00:05:31,830
Doors open, crowd come in.
First thing they see:
Finger pastries.
106
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:33,431
They nosh a little,
They're delighted.
107
00:05:33,433 --> 00:05:35,600
They continue on
To the layer cakes.
108
00:05:35,602 --> 00:05:38,169
The smell hits 'em,
They're drooling
Like rabid dogs.
109
00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:40,171
Then the heavy artillery.
110
00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:42,941
They reach the walnut
Bread, the almond bars,
The cashew squares.
111
00:05:42,943 --> 00:05:45,010
Bang! We got 'em
By the roasted nuts.
112
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:49,180
- carry on, lieutenant.
- thank you, sir.
113
00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:51,415
Sally, that was
Andy larson on the phone.
114
00:05:51,417 --> 00:05:54,619
Did you really make his mom
Do one-handed push-ups
Till she cried?
115
00:05:56,790 --> 00:05:59,791
Yes. She had to be broken
For the sake of the unit.
116
00:05:59,793 --> 00:06:02,727
You know, this art
Is fascinating.
117
00:06:02,729 --> 00:06:04,829
Every era, every culture,
118
00:06:04,831 --> 00:06:06,865
They all have
Their own art.
119
00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:10,035
- what drives them
To create this?
- naked women.
120
00:06:10,037 --> 00:06:12,403
These are not
Naked women.
121
00:06:12,405 --> 00:06:14,438
They're nudes.
122
00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:17,942
Nudity is the artist's
Passionate celebration
Of the human form.
123
00:06:17,944 --> 00:06:19,610
Well, party on.
124
00:06:21,347 --> 00:06:23,815
Dick, why is it that you see
Nude people in museums,
125
00:06:23,817 --> 00:06:26,484
- but they never
Show 'em on tv?
- sure, they do,
126
00:06:26,486 --> 00:06:28,720
But never in comedies,
Only in dramas,
127
00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:31,756
And, even then,
Only when the ratings sag.
128
00:06:31,758 --> 00:06:33,825
Harry.
129
00:06:33,827 --> 00:06:35,827
Harry, what's wrong?
130
00:06:35,829 --> 00:06:38,897
I got fired from my job
At the kids' pizza place.
131
00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:41,700
- oh, no.
- yes. They dressed me up
Like a giant mouse,
132
00:06:41,702 --> 00:06:44,202
So I figure I'll just
Get into character,
133
00:06:44,204 --> 00:06:47,271
And then they complain
When I eat off the floor.
134
00:06:47,273 --> 00:06:49,941
Don't you worry about that.
I found something else
For you to do.
135
00:06:49,943 --> 00:06:52,010
You're coming with me
To an art class.
136
00:06:52,012 --> 00:06:54,846
Art? I wasn't creative
Enough to be a rodent.
137
00:06:54,848 --> 00:06:57,448
No, no, you don't have
To be creative to do art.
138
00:06:57,450 --> 00:07:00,619
You just have to
Be a certain type.
You've been ostracized,
139
00:07:00,621 --> 00:07:03,688
Spit upon, and strangers
Repeatedly tell you
That you're crazy.
140
00:07:03,690 --> 00:07:06,625
You've got
Everything it takes.
141
00:07:06,627 --> 00:07:09,527
"The last supper"
By leonardo da vinci.
142
00:07:09,529 --> 00:07:13,364
Boy, the guy in the middle
Really knows how to throw
A party, huh?
143
00:07:13,366 --> 00:07:15,533
And he's sitting
In front of the archway.
144
00:07:15,535 --> 00:07:18,469
- so what?
- the negative space
In the archway
145
00:07:18,471 --> 00:07:20,471
Draws our focus.
146
00:07:20,473 --> 00:07:22,573
And the hills
Outside the archway
147
00:07:22,575 --> 00:07:25,143
Fade into a bluish haze,
Creating distance.
148
00:07:25,145 --> 00:07:28,479
So it's sort of like
It's not just a party,
149
00:07:28,481 --> 00:07:30,715
It's a going-away party.
150
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:35,520
- harry, I'm impressed.
- mmm, me, too.
151
00:07:35,522 --> 00:07:37,522
Can we buy it?
152
00:07:37,524 --> 00:07:40,458
Don't be silly.
After one week,
We'd be sick of it.
153
00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:47,966
Oh, dick, this
Is wonderful.
154
00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:50,401
Do you have any idea
How good it feels
155
00:07:50,403 --> 00:07:53,571
To do something
For the first time
And not suck at it?
156
00:07:55,408 --> 00:07:58,576
Well, hello.
It's nice to see
A couple of fresh faces.
157
00:07:58,578 --> 00:08:00,812
Squeeze my head.
It's soft.
158
00:08:07,554 --> 00:08:09,888
Oh, harry, that's
Really interesting.
159
00:08:09,890 --> 00:08:11,890
- I remember that.
- yeah.
160
00:08:11,892 --> 00:08:14,559
That was that thing
That burst out
Of that guy's thorax.
161
00:08:14,561 --> 00:08:16,661
And we hit it and hit it
And hit it...
162
00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:18,629
Both:
And it just wouldn't die.
163
00:08:18,631 --> 00:08:21,532
( both laughing )
164
00:08:21,534 --> 00:08:24,602
It's... A family joke.
Sorry.
165
00:08:25,806 --> 00:08:27,806
All right, class,
Let's take a look
166
00:08:27,808 --> 00:08:29,808
At what we've
Been working on
For the last two weeks.
167
00:08:29,810 --> 00:08:32,177
- who would like
To be first?
- mary.
168
00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:34,112
( students groan )
169
00:08:35,415 --> 00:08:39,184
I call this painting
"Spirits of spring."
170
00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:41,519
When I was growing up
In indiana
171
00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:44,455
And all the other kids
Would exclude me
From their playing,
172
00:08:44,457 --> 00:08:46,791
I'd sit in my yard
And anxiously await
173
00:08:46,793 --> 00:08:50,261
The tiny crocuses to pop
Their happy heads out
From their winter sleep.
174
00:08:50,263 --> 00:08:52,931
Oh! That's
A beautiful story.
175
00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:54,999
- oh!
- it's a lousy painting,
176
00:08:55,001 --> 00:08:57,368
But it is
A beautiful story.
177
00:08:57,370 --> 00:09:00,304
It's very nice,
Dr. Albright.
178
00:09:00,306 --> 00:09:02,974
- anyone have any comments?
- uh, well, I--
179
00:09:02,976 --> 00:09:05,476
Oh, never mind.
It's stupid.
180
00:09:05,478 --> 00:09:08,646
Well, don't let that
Stop you, harry.
Go ahead.
181
00:09:08,648 --> 00:09:10,648
Well, um...
I just find
182
00:09:10,650 --> 00:09:13,351
That my focus is drawn
To the upper right corner,
183
00:09:13,353 --> 00:09:15,754
But when it gets there,
There's nothing to see.
184
00:09:15,756 --> 00:09:17,889
Maybe you could add
A splash of yellow
185
00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:21,059
To carry out the motif
You've already established.
186
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:25,230
- but what do I know?
- actually, that's
A very good suggestion.
187
00:09:25,232 --> 00:09:27,232
- really?
- really?
188
00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:30,534
Yes! Harry,
You've really opened
Something up for me.
189
00:09:30,536 --> 00:09:32,771
I know exactly
What you're saying.
190
00:09:32,773 --> 00:09:36,207
Thank you.
Wow! Thank you!
191
00:09:39,846 --> 00:09:42,280
You work with her.
Is this sarcasm?
192
00:09:46,486 --> 00:09:48,786
Low-mass black holes form
193
00:09:48,788 --> 00:09:52,123
Only when matter
Is compressed
Into enormous densities
194
00:09:52,125 --> 00:09:54,192
By very large
External pressures--
195
00:09:54,194 --> 00:09:57,728
And this demonstrates
Which principle of
Quantum matter physics?
196
00:09:58,898 --> 00:10:01,799
( sighs )
197
00:10:01,801 --> 00:10:05,036
I'll give you a hint.
It has nothing to do
With geometric cosmology.
198
00:10:05,038 --> 00:10:07,138
Anyone?
199
00:10:07,140 --> 00:10:10,174
( sighs )
If no one answers,
I'll have to pick someone.
200
00:10:10,176 --> 00:10:13,144
Someone please answer.
Please raise your hand.
201
00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:15,814
Please, someone.
Answer, please.
202
00:10:15,816 --> 00:10:18,449
Leon, since you're talking,
I'll ask you.
203
00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:20,719
- what's the principle?
- wetness?
204
00:10:20,721 --> 00:10:24,622
- no. Try again.
- dr. Solomon, why do you
Keep calling on leon?
205
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:27,726
It's just not
Funny anymore.
206
00:10:27,728 --> 00:10:29,728
That's nonsense.
207
00:10:29,730 --> 00:10:31,896
Leon, the only way of
Understanding the universe
208
00:10:31,898 --> 00:10:34,232
Is to find the limits
Of your own intelligence.
209
00:10:34,234 --> 00:10:36,267
I think I've
Reached my limit.
210
00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:40,338
- bug.
- yes, dr. Solomon?
211
00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:42,240
- you're hiding something.
- it's just a doodle.
212
00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:44,776
A doodle?
213
00:10:44,778 --> 00:10:46,778
Why, this is
A picture of me
214
00:10:46,780 --> 00:10:49,714
With antlers and something
Coming out of my buttocks.
215
00:10:50,917 --> 00:10:52,984
It's a tail.
216
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:54,986
Well, it is.
217
00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:57,688
That's brilliant!
The lines, the contours,
218
00:10:57,690 --> 00:11:00,925
The way you've
Picked up the essence
Of my rugged good looks.
219
00:11:00,927 --> 00:11:03,394
- it's just a doodle.
- just a doodle?
220
00:11:03,396 --> 00:11:05,964
And alan thicke
Is just an actor.
221
00:11:05,966 --> 00:11:08,800
( class bell rings )
222
00:11:08,802 --> 00:11:11,602
Tomorrow I want
Everyone to bring in
Three sharpened pencils,
223
00:11:11,604 --> 00:11:14,005
And bug will teach
Us all how to doodle.
224
00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:16,340
All right.
225
00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:36,027
Damn!
226
00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:43,434
I've tasted your butter
Cookies, mrs. Stevenson,
227
00:11:43,436 --> 00:11:45,737
And, yes, I can believe
It's not butter.
228
00:11:47,708 --> 00:11:50,175
Use a butter substitute,
And you'll find
Yourself saying,
229
00:11:50,177 --> 00:11:54,079
"I can't believe I was bounced
Out of this bake sale
Right onto my ass."
230
00:11:54,081 --> 00:11:56,915
Get with the program.
231
00:12:01,788 --> 00:12:03,822
Tommy,
232
00:12:03,824 --> 00:12:05,924
Do you ever doodle?
233
00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:15,333
Why? Was I in
The bathroom too long?
234
00:12:19,139 --> 00:12:21,405
I-- I can't doodle.
235
00:12:22,542 --> 00:12:25,210
Well, dick,
You're kind of old.
236
00:12:25,212 --> 00:12:28,179
Old? Picasso doodled
On tablecloths
237
00:12:28,181 --> 00:12:30,181
Late into his 60s.
238
00:12:30,183 --> 00:12:32,683
- that's disgusting.
- I know.
239
00:12:32,685 --> 00:12:35,120
I just can't draw.
240
00:12:35,122 --> 00:12:37,789
Oh, doodling! Oh.
241
00:12:37,791 --> 00:12:41,126
It's inexplicable.
242
00:12:41,128 --> 00:12:44,763
I, who bestride this world
Like an intellectual colossus,
243
00:12:44,765 --> 00:12:48,199
I, who make lesser men quiver
In awe of my cranial prowess,
244
00:12:48,201 --> 00:12:50,268
I, who--
245
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:52,103
I've forgotten my point.
246
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:55,039
Dick,
I invented a new color.
247
00:12:55,041 --> 00:12:57,208
I combined
Red and yellow.
248
00:12:57,210 --> 00:13:00,478
I call it red-yellow.
249
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:03,314
- I can't wait to show
It in art class.
- great!
250
00:13:03,316 --> 00:13:07,218
Mix up a whole vat of it.
Go! Hop to it,
251
00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:10,421
You ironically-gifted
Chowderhead.
252
00:13:12,058 --> 00:13:14,725
- why did I say that?
What's wrong with me?
- could it be--
253
00:13:14,727 --> 00:13:17,595
And this is just a wild guess--
That harry is way better
At something than you?
254
00:13:17,597 --> 00:13:19,730
Give me some credit.
I'm the high commander.
255
00:13:19,732 --> 00:13:22,000
I don't engage in
Petty rivalry.
256
00:13:22,002 --> 00:13:25,069
Look, dick, you're actually
Younger than me, right?
257
00:13:25,071 --> 00:13:28,006
- right.
- but on this mission
You got to be taller.
258
00:13:28,008 --> 00:13:31,642
Now, don't you think
That eats my lunch
Just a little bit?
259
00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:35,113
- you don't see me whining.
- how can you be so cool
About it?
260
00:13:35,115 --> 00:13:37,448
'cause I'm older
Than you, little buddy.
261
00:13:40,586 --> 00:13:43,321
Tommy, I got
A reconnaissance report
From mrs. Nadle.
262
00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:45,556
Our only real competition
Is the kissing booth.
263
00:13:45,558 --> 00:13:47,892
This year
They have hookers.
264
00:13:49,362 --> 00:13:52,230
- sally, those are cheerleaders.
- not if they're charging.
265
00:13:55,135 --> 00:13:57,135
Banana nut muffin heads.
266
00:13:57,137 --> 00:14:00,138
- are there two parts banana
To every one part walnut?
- yes, ma'am.
267
00:14:00,140 --> 00:14:02,140
- I can't hear you.
- yes, ma'am!
268
00:14:06,446 --> 00:14:09,380
Mmm, mighty tasty rugula,
Mrs. Greenstein.
269
00:14:09,382 --> 00:14:11,649
Thank you, ma'am.
270
00:14:13,786 --> 00:14:17,521
Now, before we open
The doors, I just have
One more thing to say.
271
00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:19,890
You are, by far,
The saddest, sorriest,
272
00:14:19,892 --> 00:14:21,892
Most pathetic group
Of mothers...
273
00:14:23,563 --> 00:14:25,696
I have ever had
The honor of commanding,
274
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:27,631
and I'll never forget you.
275
00:14:27,633 --> 00:14:28,799
Music.
276
00:14:28,801 --> 00:14:30,134
( "Ride of the valkyries" playing )
277
00:14:30,136 --> 00:14:32,470
Doors.
278
00:14:32,472 --> 00:14:35,706
All right, ladies,
Take no prisoners
279
00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:37,641
Or personal checks.
280
00:14:44,083 --> 00:14:46,016
Dick, are you mad at me?
281
00:14:48,588 --> 00:14:51,922
- no.
- lately you get
This weird grin,
282
00:14:51,924 --> 00:14:55,426
Like you're hiding something.
It's not about art class,
Is it?
283
00:14:55,428 --> 00:14:58,362
Art class? Why, no,
I don't care about art.
284
00:14:58,364 --> 00:15:01,599
Let's not forget what
One of the great thinkers
Of the 20th century said--
285
00:15:01,601 --> 00:15:04,335
"Art is no damn good."
286
00:15:04,337 --> 00:15:07,305
- what great thinker said that?
- jesse helms.
287
00:15:08,974 --> 00:15:10,974
Besides, I've made
A command decision.
288
00:15:10,976 --> 00:15:13,611
We're not going
To art class anymore.
It's not productive.
289
00:15:13,613 --> 00:15:16,214
We've experienced it.
Let's move on.
290
00:15:16,216 --> 00:15:18,182
All righty.
291
00:15:22,788 --> 00:15:25,456
Permission to speak,
High commander?
292
00:15:25,458 --> 00:15:29,159
- what did you say?
- permission to speak, dick?
293
00:15:29,161 --> 00:15:31,596
You've never asked
Permission to speak before.
294
00:15:31,598 --> 00:15:34,565
Dick, this art thing
Means a lot to me,
295
00:15:34,567 --> 00:15:36,567
And I have no idea why.
296
00:15:36,569 --> 00:15:39,403
All I know is that
I like doing it.
297
00:15:39,405 --> 00:15:42,906
So I want to go tomorrow
Whether you go or not.
298
00:15:44,344 --> 00:15:46,777
( whispers )
I'm sorry.
299
00:15:48,648 --> 00:15:51,482
There's no need to be sorry
For something you're good at.
300
00:15:51,484 --> 00:15:53,951
- you go to class.
- really?
301
00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:55,919
Ye-es.
302
00:15:58,023 --> 00:16:00,991
If that's what makes you
Happy, then I'm happy.
303
00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:04,995
Ohh, thanks, dick.
304
00:16:04,997 --> 00:16:08,165
Mmm, now there's
The smile I like.
305
00:16:18,878 --> 00:16:20,745
You're soaking wet.
306
00:16:20,747 --> 00:16:22,913
Am I?
307
00:16:22,915 --> 00:16:25,249
You've been acting strangely.
What's wrong?
308
00:16:25,251 --> 00:16:27,418
It's kind of hard
To talk about.
309
00:16:27,420 --> 00:16:29,587
I have this... Friend
310
00:16:29,589 --> 00:16:32,723
Whose brother harry is
A much better artist
Than he is.
311
00:16:32,725 --> 00:16:35,092
Oh, so this is
About you and harry.
312
00:16:35,094 --> 00:16:37,361
Am I that transparent?
313
00:16:37,363 --> 00:16:40,298
I'm going to tell you
A little story.
314
00:16:42,034 --> 00:16:44,968
My partner
In dance class in college
315
00:16:44,970 --> 00:16:46,970
Was a girl named nadia.
316
00:16:46,972 --> 00:16:49,340
She got all the leads,
All the attention.
317
00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:51,776
People would
Call her lithe,
318
00:16:51,778 --> 00:16:54,645
Willowy, leggy.
319
00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:58,015
I rehearsed with her.
320
00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:00,150
I showed her a tremendous
Amount of support.
321
00:17:00,152 --> 00:17:02,219
I went to all
The recitals.
322
00:17:02,221 --> 00:17:04,288
She'd leap and twirl
On the stage,
323
00:17:04,290 --> 00:17:07,458
Exuding this incredible
Sensual grace,
324
00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:10,961
While I sat there,
A frozen smile on my face,
325
00:17:10,963 --> 00:17:13,431
Loathing her
For my own inadequacies.
326
00:17:13,433 --> 00:17:15,366
Well, you have
Any pictures of her?
327
00:17:17,169 --> 00:17:19,169
That's not the point.
328
00:17:19,171 --> 00:17:20,738
The thing
I came to realize
329
00:17:20,740 --> 00:17:23,407
Was that she
Needed me there.
330
00:17:23,409 --> 00:17:26,276
My support inspired
Her to dance.
331
00:17:26,278 --> 00:17:29,012
- that was enough for you?
- well, look at the "Mona lisa."
332
00:17:29,014 --> 00:17:31,014
She never picked up
A paintbrush,
333
00:17:31,016 --> 00:17:33,617
And yet she inspired
The most famous painting
In the world.
334
00:17:33,619 --> 00:17:36,454
- so it's like whistler
And his mother.
- exactly.
335
00:17:36,456 --> 00:17:38,556
- van gogh and
His potato eaters.
- yes.
336
00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:40,558
Michelangelo
And his, uh...
337
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:43,728
Ceiling full of naked guys
Trying to touch fingers.
338
00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:45,730
- more or less.
- inspiration.
339
00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:47,965
- yes.
- yes!
340
00:17:47,967 --> 00:17:50,701
Thank you!
Thank you!
341
00:17:50,703 --> 00:17:53,937
That little story
Really helped me.
Thank you!
342
00:17:53,939 --> 00:17:55,673
Sure.
343
00:17:55,675 --> 00:17:58,976
Oh, and by the way,
I love your stubby
Little legs.
344
00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:09,219
Harry, were
Your parents artistic?
345
00:18:09,221 --> 00:18:12,456
Not really.
My mother was
A cold receptacle,
346
00:18:12,458 --> 00:18:14,992
And my father
Was just a machine.
347
00:18:16,128 --> 00:18:18,629
Well, we all have
Our baggage.
348
00:18:19,832 --> 00:18:21,832
But don't forget,
Out of suffering
349
00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:23,834
Comes creativity.
350
00:18:23,836 --> 00:18:25,836
You can't spell "Painting"
Without "Pain."
351
00:18:25,838 --> 00:18:27,838
Mmm...
352
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:30,073
Or "Ting."
353
00:18:32,745 --> 00:18:35,312
Oh, dick, you came.
354
00:18:35,314 --> 00:18:37,982
- are you going to paint?
- even better.
355
00:18:37,984 --> 00:18:41,585
I now accept the fact
That I do not have
Artistic talent,
356
00:18:41,587 --> 00:18:43,821
Like you, like harry.
357
00:18:43,823 --> 00:18:46,423
I know now that
I will never be able
358
00:18:46,425 --> 00:18:48,559
To be a part
Of a class like this,
359
00:18:48,561 --> 00:18:50,661
But dr. Albright
Has made me see
360
00:18:50,663 --> 00:18:54,231
The joy that I can take
In inspiring other people.
361
00:18:54,233 --> 00:18:57,001
No, I will never be
An artist,
362
00:18:57,003 --> 00:18:59,537
But I can make
A great subject.
363
00:18:59,539 --> 00:19:01,505
Prepare to meet...
364
00:19:01,507 --> 00:19:03,473
Your muse!
365
00:19:22,227 --> 00:19:24,227
Oh, great...
366
00:19:24,229 --> 00:19:26,196
I'm gonna need
More pink.
367
00:19:28,367 --> 00:19:30,434
You're telling me
368
00:19:30,436 --> 00:19:32,937
Dr. Solomon
Posed for this?
369
00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:36,674
- yes.
- mm-hmm.
370
00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:39,643
Mmm, well, hello,
Dr. Solomon.
371
00:19:39,645 --> 00:19:41,712
Well, hello, nina!
372
00:19:44,050 --> 00:19:46,717
Well, I'll leave
You three alone.
373
00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:52,289
Oh! This is wonderful.
374
00:19:52,291 --> 00:19:54,592
I really did inspire
You, didn't I?
375
00:19:54,594 --> 00:19:58,028
- yes.
- you know, the whole time
I was standing there,
376
00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:01,198
I kept thinking about
How you inspired nadia.
377
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,901
- whatever happened to her?
- alcoholic,
378
00:20:03,903 --> 00:20:05,903
Trailer park,
Seven kids.
379
00:20:05,905 --> 00:20:07,170
( laughs )
380
00:20:07,172 --> 00:20:09,539
No, it really
Is a shame.
381
00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:14,078
What do you call it?
382
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:16,279
"Middle-aged naked guy
Who can't paint."
383
00:20:21,420 --> 00:20:23,754
Leading that bake sale
Was exhilarating.
384
00:20:23,756 --> 00:20:26,423
Those women were crying
Out for leadership.
385
00:20:26,425 --> 00:20:29,493
You know,
Over half this planet's
Population is female.
386
00:20:29,495 --> 00:20:31,895
If I could just
Harness their power,
387
00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:34,965
We could easily turn men
Into a slave race.
388
00:20:38,104 --> 00:20:40,104
Or maybe just talk hair.
389
00:20:41,573 --> 00:20:43,573
You know, I've discovered
390
00:20:43,575 --> 00:20:45,643
That here on earth
Every human has
391
00:20:45,645 --> 00:20:47,745
His own talents
And his own flaws.
392
00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:50,213
The smart ones have learned
To use their talents,
393
00:20:50,215 --> 00:20:52,215
But the happy ones
394
00:20:52,217 --> 00:20:54,317
Have learned
To accept their flaws.
395
00:20:54,319 --> 00:20:56,319
I know I've accepted mine.
396
00:20:56,321 --> 00:20:58,756
Permission to mention
Your receding hairline, sir?
397
00:21:00,325 --> 00:21:02,893
Permission denied.
398
00:21:02,895 --> 00:21:06,329
Well, here's
My latest painting.
It's a still life.
399
00:21:06,331 --> 00:21:08,732
- that's very interesting.
- and very dark.
400
00:21:08,734 --> 00:21:10,734
It's a bunch
Of rotten fruit.
401
00:21:10,736 --> 00:21:14,571
Yeah, I really got
To learn to paint faster.
402
00:21:14,573 --> 00:21:16,674
( "Ride of the valkyries" playing )
403
00:21:20,579 --> 00:21:23,213
( '50s rock music playing )
33477
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