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1
00:00:02,036 --> 00:00:04,003
( '50s rock music playing )
2
00:00:33,401 --> 00:00:35,800
Man on radio:
and the winning lottery numbers are:
3
00:00:35,802 --> 00:00:38,337
- 2, 21...
- uh-huh.
4
00:00:38,339 --> 00:00:40,339
- 51...
- yes.
5
00:00:40,341 --> 00:00:42,908
9, 27...
6
00:00:42,910 --> 00:00:44,910
- and 48.
- ( all cheering )
7
00:00:44,912 --> 00:00:48,080
We won again!
8
00:00:48,082 --> 00:00:51,383
Ah! That was fun.
Ah, yes.
9
00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:53,385
A dollar well spent.
10
00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:56,055
- if luck were money,
We'd be rich.
- yes.
11
00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:01,826
Hey, look at them.
12
00:01:01,828 --> 00:01:04,563
They're not kissing.
They're not groping.
They're...
13
00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:06,565
Ooh, I know this.
14
00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:08,900
Cuddling, cuddling
Is interesting.
15
00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:11,303
It's both romantic
And sexual.
16
00:01:11,305 --> 00:01:13,738
Yes, but it's
More than that.
17
00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:16,575
It implies an intimate
Relationship.
18
00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:19,178
How do you establish
That with a woman?
19
00:01:19,180 --> 00:01:21,180
Why are you
Looking at me?
20
00:01:21,182 --> 00:01:23,515
- because you're the woman.
- yeah, for two whole months,
21
00:01:23,517 --> 00:01:26,818
But I haven't even
Figured out how to
Take off my bra yet.
22
00:01:26,820 --> 00:01:28,820
I want a hug.
23
00:01:28,822 --> 00:01:30,956
I want to hug dr. Albright.
I want to hug her right now.
24
00:01:30,958 --> 00:01:33,492
- she's not here.
- I'm going to have
To hug somebody.
25
00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:43,802
It's just not
The same with you.
26
00:01:43,804 --> 00:01:45,804
My heart wasn't
In it, either.
27
00:01:45,806 --> 00:01:49,508
I just let you do it
'cause you're high commander.
28
00:01:49,510 --> 00:01:52,344
I feel... So cheap.
29
00:02:03,757 --> 00:02:06,158
Dick, I can't take
This housework anymore.
30
00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:09,161
I was put on
This mission because
Of my military skills.
31
00:02:09,163 --> 00:02:11,163
These hands are
Lethal weapons,
32
00:02:11,165 --> 00:02:14,166
But now they're
All red and dry
From harsh detergents.
33
00:02:14,168 --> 00:02:17,302
Stop complaining.
Your assignment is
To be the woman,
34
00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:19,771
Just like tommy's assignment
Is to study earth culture.
35
00:02:19,773 --> 00:02:21,906
Right, and I'm on it.
That's why I'm reading
36
00:02:21,908 --> 00:02:23,842
"Betty and veronica's
Summer fun."
37
00:02:26,013 --> 00:02:29,248
My god! These are
High school girls?
38
00:02:29,250 --> 00:02:32,050
Okay, you guys,
I was out walking,
39
00:02:32,052 --> 00:02:33,785
And someone started
Following me.
40
00:02:33,787 --> 00:02:35,854
- oh, my god.
- he's in the living room.
41
00:02:35,856 --> 00:02:38,657
- you let him in our home?
- well, yeah.
42
00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:41,793
He might be worth studying.
Come on in!
43
00:02:41,795 --> 00:02:44,563
- aw!
- oh!
44
00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:49,501
What a good little man.
45
00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:51,836
- harry, that's a dog.
- you know,
46
00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:54,072
You are just
So quick to label.
47
00:02:56,877 --> 00:03:00,546
Oh, he's so huggable.
48
00:03:00,548 --> 00:03:03,382
Oh, mama.
49
00:03:03,384 --> 00:03:06,751
I've got to get
To the office
And dr. Albright.
50
00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:10,021
What are you going
To do with him?
51
00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:12,023
Well, I'm going to start
52
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:14,025
By establishing
Communication.
53
00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:16,127
Oh, have a seat, my friend.
54
00:03:16,129 --> 00:03:18,063
There.
55
00:03:20,334 --> 00:03:22,901
( barking )
56
00:03:22,903 --> 00:03:26,271
- what's he trying to say?
- he said that lassie's a guy.
57
00:03:31,412 --> 00:03:33,545
- good morning, dr. Albright.
- good morning, dr. Solomon.
58
00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:36,415
- I have your physics book.
- oh, thank you.
59
00:03:36,417 --> 00:03:39,651
Oh! Please
Don't do that.
60
00:03:39,653 --> 00:03:41,687
- I'm not much
Of a hugger.
- oh.
61
00:03:43,591 --> 00:03:46,925
Look who I found
Wandering down the halls.
62
00:03:46,927 --> 00:03:49,494
- mary.
- oh, my god!
63
00:03:49,496 --> 00:03:51,730
- oh!
- oh!
64
00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:53,732
Oh!
65
00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:56,301
Dr. Richard solomon,
66
00:03:56,303 --> 00:03:59,571
This is dr. Jeff willis,
My old dear friend.
67
00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:02,774
Hi. Actually, mary and I
Used to share this office.
68
00:04:02,776 --> 00:04:04,776
- among other things.
- nina.
69
00:04:04,778 --> 00:04:07,279
So, what brings
You to town?
70
00:04:07,281 --> 00:04:09,948
A book signing.
My novel's been published.
71
00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:12,016
"Echoes of my stepfather."
72
00:04:12,018 --> 00:04:14,018
Yes.
73
00:04:14,020 --> 00:04:17,055
You've finally finished.
Oh, it's wonderful!
74
00:04:17,057 --> 00:04:19,491
- oh!
- mmm!
75
00:04:19,493 --> 00:04:21,493
Oh! I've got
To get to class.
76
00:04:21,495 --> 00:04:23,795
We have got to get
Together and catch up.
77
00:04:23,797 --> 00:04:26,231
- you got it.
- call me.
78
00:04:26,233 --> 00:04:28,199
- oh!
- oh!
79
00:04:30,871 --> 00:04:32,837
Oh!
80
00:04:34,341 --> 00:04:36,708
She is something else.
81
00:04:36,710 --> 00:04:39,811
Hmm, I can't believe
How good you look.
82
00:04:39,813 --> 00:04:42,314
- you still playing
Racquetball?
- every day.
83
00:04:42,316 --> 00:04:45,016
- ooh! I love it!
- I love it more!
84
00:04:46,387 --> 00:04:50,088
- you don't play
Racquetball.
- ( chuckles )
85
00:04:50,090 --> 00:04:52,491
Poor, sweet, misguided,
86
00:04:52,493 --> 00:04:55,594
Amnesiac nina,
Of course I do.
87
00:04:57,063 --> 00:04:59,464
I've got some time to kill.
I'd love to play.
88
00:04:59,466 --> 00:05:02,267
- I've got some time to play
I'd love to kill.
- ( chuckling )
89
00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:19,384
- can I help you?
- no, thanks.
Just looking.
90
00:05:22,189 --> 00:05:24,489
Hey! It says "Men"
On the door.
91
00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:25,990
And you made the cut?
92
00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:28,860
- ooh, sally.
- dick.
93
00:05:28,862 --> 00:05:30,995
Here's everything you need
To know about racquetball.
94
00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:32,997
Thanks for bringing
This, lieutenant.
95
00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:35,367
I found myself
Starting to talk
To the scrubbing bubbles,
96
00:05:35,369 --> 00:05:37,536
So I figured
I better take a walk.
97
00:05:37,538 --> 00:05:40,271
This is newtonian physics--
Trajectory and velocity.
98
00:05:40,273 --> 00:05:42,374
An imbecilic baby
Could do it.
99
00:05:42,376 --> 00:05:44,543
Well, I'm off
To the games.
100
00:05:44,545 --> 00:05:46,545
Play fiercely
And annihilate
Your opponent.
101
00:05:46,547 --> 00:05:48,747
As it always was
And always will be.
102
00:05:50,718 --> 00:05:52,718
Hey...
103
00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:56,221
It's dry already.
Put your shorts on.
104
00:05:58,291 --> 00:06:01,125
I won!
105
00:06:01,127 --> 00:06:03,061
I won!
106
00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:07,899
I won, I won, I won,
I won, I won!
107
00:06:10,070 --> 00:06:13,171
Did you hear the news?
I won.
108
00:06:14,408 --> 00:06:16,408
- congratulations, dick.
- that was so easy.
109
00:06:16,410 --> 00:06:19,344
You offered me
No challenge at all.
110
00:06:19,346 --> 00:06:21,380
Yeah, I was kind of
Off my game.
111
00:06:21,382 --> 00:06:24,249
Off your game?
You played like
A little girl.
112
00:06:25,786 --> 00:06:28,653
Too bad mary wasn't
Here to see it.
113
00:06:28,655 --> 00:06:31,823
That reminds me, I gotta run.
I'm meeting her for lunch.
114
00:06:33,394 --> 00:06:36,595
Well, I hope you
Two girls have fun.
115
00:06:40,934 --> 00:06:43,769
Why am I so hostile
To this jeff person?
116
00:06:43,771 --> 00:06:45,771
He's never done
Anything to me.
117
00:06:45,773 --> 00:06:49,073
In fact, he seems
Like a perfectly
Tolerable... Twit.
118
00:06:50,310 --> 00:06:52,611
But for some reason,
I hate him
119
00:06:52,613 --> 00:06:54,846
Just because dr. Albright
Likes him. Why?
120
00:06:54,848 --> 00:06:56,848
It's called jealousy.
121
00:06:56,850 --> 00:06:59,083
It's what happens
To moose when reggie
Flirts with midge.
122
00:07:00,987 --> 00:07:03,855
If you'd read a little,
You'd know something
About this.
123
00:07:03,857 --> 00:07:06,858
I don't have time to read.
Lieutenant, get out here.
124
00:07:06,860 --> 00:07:09,461
- I have a new
Assignment for you.
- yes? Finally.
125
00:07:09,463 --> 00:07:12,931
I want you to find
Out what makes a man
So irresistible
126
00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:16,234
That a woman
Has no interest
In any other man.
127
00:07:16,236 --> 00:07:18,737
- that's still
A chick job.
- yes...
128
00:07:20,441 --> 00:07:23,642
But it's also a chick job
To help the high
Commander score.
129
00:07:25,979 --> 00:07:28,580
You want to know about love?
I'll show you love.
130
00:07:28,582 --> 00:07:30,649
Scruffy, come here.
Come here.
131
00:07:30,651 --> 00:07:34,319
Oh, see?
He loves me
For no reason.
132
00:07:34,321 --> 00:07:36,555
He lives just to bask
133
00:07:36,557 --> 00:07:38,857
In the light
Of my smile.
134
00:07:40,994 --> 00:07:44,496
And the best thing is,
We both scare the mailman.
135
00:07:47,434 --> 00:07:49,534
( sighs )
Why can't dr. Albright
136
00:07:49,536 --> 00:07:53,204
Leap into my lap
And lick my face?
137
00:07:53,206 --> 00:07:56,741
Well, some breeds are
More skittish than others.
138
00:08:05,185 --> 00:08:07,251
You two were
Here last night.
139
00:08:11,758 --> 00:08:13,725
Miss?
140
00:08:15,028 --> 00:08:17,963
Miss!
141
00:08:17,965 --> 00:08:21,232
You're obviously in
Some sort of relationship.
Why'd you pick this guy?
142
00:08:21,234 --> 00:08:23,768
- what's that
Supposed to mean?
- hey, I'm talking to the lady.
143
00:08:25,472 --> 00:08:28,272
He's not terribly attractive.
He's got bad taste in clothes.
144
00:08:28,274 --> 00:08:31,576
- even I can tell he doesn't
Know what he's doing.
- I wouldn't say--
145
00:08:31,578 --> 00:08:35,246
Ah! It's the car,
Isn't it?
146
00:08:35,248 --> 00:08:37,181
No!
147
00:08:38,986 --> 00:08:41,486
( whispers )
Yes, it's the car.
148
00:08:41,488 --> 00:08:43,488
Thank you.
149
00:08:47,327 --> 00:08:49,327
( whistles )
150
00:08:49,329 --> 00:08:51,997
( kissing )
151
00:09:04,978 --> 00:09:08,212
- what are you doing?
- tempting you with
The great taste of bacon.
152
00:09:11,919 --> 00:09:14,553
I'm going to take
These folders in to nina,
153
00:09:14,555 --> 00:09:17,155
And when I come back,
You'll be gone.
154
00:09:19,993 --> 00:09:22,093
Hi. Mary here?
155
00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:24,763
Uh, no, she just
Left for cleveland.
156
00:09:25,832 --> 00:09:27,799
Look, she's back.
157
00:09:27,801 --> 00:09:30,702
- what are you doing here?
- I'm on my way
To a meeting,
158
00:09:30,704 --> 00:09:33,672
But I wanted to stop off
And give you a present.
159
00:09:33,674 --> 00:09:36,741
Oh!
160
00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:39,410
"Thanks for bugging me
To write my book."
161
00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:42,047
- oh, jeff!
- ( jeff chuckles )
162
00:09:42,049 --> 00:09:44,649
It's a thimble.
I collect them.
163
00:09:46,119 --> 00:09:48,119
It's an ancient ukrainian
Quilting thimble.
164
00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:50,455
There's some writing.
I didn't have time
To get it translated.
165
00:09:50,457 --> 00:09:52,624
Well, you've been
So busy with the book.
166
00:09:52,626 --> 00:09:55,060
Speaking of time,
Don't you have a meeting?
167
00:09:55,062 --> 00:09:57,062
Right.
I gotta go. Bye.
168
00:09:58,198 --> 00:10:00,364
- oh!
- oh!
169
00:10:00,366 --> 00:10:02,533
Damn,
They did it again!
170
00:10:02,535 --> 00:10:05,136
Oh!
171
00:10:05,138 --> 00:10:08,073
I'm going to have
To find someone who
Can translate ukrainian.
172
00:10:08,075 --> 00:10:10,408
That's not ukrainian.
It's turkish.
173
00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:13,311
Look, there's
A diacritical mark
Over the "O."
174
00:10:13,313 --> 00:10:15,313
( speaking turkish )
175
00:10:18,685 --> 00:10:21,119
Well, what does it mean?
176
00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:24,555
"May these always point me
Toward the spoils of war."
177
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:29,127
This isn't a thimble.
It's turkish nipple armor.
178
00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:37,068
Well, it's...
179
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,707
In fact, it's
Very valuable.
180
00:10:42,709 --> 00:10:45,276
Well, especially
If you have a pair.
181
00:10:48,348 --> 00:10:50,782
Oh! Don't tell jeff.
182
00:10:50,784 --> 00:10:54,318
- this will be our secret.
- yes, our secret.
183
00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:57,588
It will be something
Jeff will never have.
184
00:10:57,590 --> 00:11:00,591
Well, it's the thought
That counts.
185
00:11:00,593 --> 00:11:02,593
This must have been
Very expensive.
186
00:11:02,595 --> 00:11:04,362
So you like
Expensive things?
187
00:11:04,364 --> 00:11:06,364
No.
188
00:11:06,366 --> 00:11:10,001
Some of my favorite things
In life cost nothing--
189
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:12,003
A picnic on a sunny day,
190
00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:14,372
A lovely poem
Read aloud,
191
00:11:14,374 --> 00:11:16,641
Watching my friends fail.
192
00:11:16,643 --> 00:11:18,643
Well, I have
A marvelous idea.
193
00:11:18,645 --> 00:11:20,779
I'll write a poem about
Your friends failing
194
00:11:20,781 --> 00:11:24,015
- and read it to you aloud
On a sunny picnic.
- that sounds wonderful.
195
00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:26,317
- how about saturday
Afternoon?
- why not?
196
00:11:31,224 --> 00:11:33,224
I have a date.
197
00:11:34,427 --> 00:11:36,394
Jeff doesn't
Have a date...
198
00:11:37,630 --> 00:11:40,065
But I have a date.
199
00:11:40,067 --> 00:11:42,000
Yes!
200
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:49,240
"Women who run
With the wolves,"
201
00:11:49,242 --> 00:11:51,743
"Women who love too much,"
"Women who love too fast,"
202
00:11:51,745 --> 00:11:55,413
"Women who love to read
About women who love
Too much and too fast."
203
00:11:55,415 --> 00:11:57,348
Oh, my god.
204
00:12:02,923 --> 00:12:05,423
Excuse me.
205
00:12:05,425 --> 00:12:07,425
You two have been
Together, what,
206
00:12:07,427 --> 00:12:09,427
100, 150 years?
207
00:12:09,429 --> 00:12:11,495
42 this april.
208
00:12:11,497 --> 00:12:14,565
42 years.
Impressive.
209
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:17,936
You must have known
He was something
Really special, huh?
210
00:12:17,938 --> 00:12:20,571
- oh, yes.
- tell me, why'd
You pick him?
211
00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:24,209
Well, he was very sweet
212
00:12:24,211 --> 00:12:26,911
And affectionate.
213
00:12:26,913 --> 00:12:30,381
He had a real flair
For romance.
214
00:12:30,383 --> 00:12:32,217
It was the car,
Wasn't it?
215
00:12:33,954 --> 00:12:36,855
That was the clincher.
216
00:12:41,194 --> 00:12:43,527
- finally.
Did you get 'em?
- yes.
217
00:12:43,529 --> 00:12:45,529
- permission to
Speak freely, sir?
- yeah, sure.
218
00:12:45,531 --> 00:12:47,799
You and I have flown
A lot of missions together.
219
00:12:47,801 --> 00:12:49,433
If you asked me to put out
The sun with my bare hands,
220
00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:51,136
I would,
No questions asked,
221
00:12:51,138 --> 00:12:52,703
But if you ever send me out
In broad daylight
222
00:12:52,705 --> 00:12:54,806
To pick up a bunch of
Women's magazines again,
223
00:12:54,808 --> 00:12:57,809
I will kill you.
224
00:12:57,811 --> 00:12:59,811
This may sound
Silly to you,
225
00:12:59,813 --> 00:13:01,946
But I have a date
With dr. Albright,
226
00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:04,082
And I want to be sure
To say the right thing.
Now help me out here.
227
00:13:04,084 --> 00:13:07,185
Dick, they're pointless.
They're mind-altering.
228
00:13:07,187 --> 00:13:09,287
They impose arbitrary
Standards on women.
229
00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:12,957
It's like propaganda for
Some sort of estrogen cult.
230
00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:15,126
Just read.
231
00:13:15,128 --> 00:13:17,128
Okay.
232
00:13:18,832 --> 00:13:22,033
Okay, here's a topic.
You could discuss biology.
233
00:13:22,035 --> 00:13:24,102
- why?
- according to
A recent survey,
234
00:13:24,104 --> 00:13:26,871
7 out of 10 women
Have multiple organisms.
235
00:13:29,776 --> 00:13:33,011
- you have to.
- harry: no, you're
Not the boss of me.
236
00:13:33,013 --> 00:13:35,613
You have to.
Check to the lease.
237
00:13:35,615 --> 00:13:39,150
- what's the problem?
- mrs. Dubcek doesn't
Like scruffy.
238
00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:41,052
The lease says no pets.
239
00:13:41,054 --> 00:13:43,087
But he's so cute.
240
00:13:43,089 --> 00:13:45,123
No! I'm allergic
To dogs.
241
00:13:45,125 --> 00:13:48,026
My throat closes off
And I can't breathe.
242
00:13:48,028 --> 00:13:50,594
- but he's so cute.
- no! I can't breathe.
243
00:13:50,596 --> 00:13:53,331
No, no. Sorry.
No, the pooch
Cannot stay.
244
00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:56,167
But he's so cute!
245
00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:58,502
- no!
- ( door slams )
246
00:13:58,504 --> 00:14:00,504
That's too bad, harry.
247
00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:02,907
I guess you know
What you have to do.
248
00:14:02,909 --> 00:14:05,310
Yes, scruffy and I
249
00:14:05,312 --> 00:14:07,312
Must kill mrs. Dubcek...
250
00:14:09,249 --> 00:14:12,650
And hide her body
Under the floorboards.
251
00:14:24,097 --> 00:14:26,130
Wh--
252
00:14:26,132 --> 00:14:29,033
- what are you doing here?
- we're going on our picnic.
253
00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:31,535
- didn't you get
My message?
- no. Why?
254
00:14:31,537 --> 00:14:34,605
Oh, my god.
I'm so sorry.
I had to cancel.
255
00:14:34,607 --> 00:14:38,576
- cancel?
- well, it's jeff's
Book signing party.
256
00:14:38,578 --> 00:14:41,479
But you don't understand.
I beat him in racquetball.
257
00:14:42,815 --> 00:14:45,616
I can't miss it.
He dedicated
His novel to me.
258
00:14:45,618 --> 00:14:48,753
Oh, no, you
Can't miss that.
259
00:14:48,755 --> 00:14:51,856
- why don't you come?
- come?
260
00:14:51,858 --> 00:14:53,858
No, I've got
Things to do.
261
00:14:53,860 --> 00:14:56,527
I have to take
My black forest ham,
My wheel of brie,
262
00:14:56,529 --> 00:14:58,829
My cabernet sauvignon,
My limoges trivet,
263
00:14:58,831 --> 00:15:01,499
Throw them
In the front yard
And set them ablaze
264
00:15:01,501 --> 00:15:03,601
In a big bonfire
As a tribute
265
00:15:03,603 --> 00:15:06,037
To jeff's book signing!
266
00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:19,417
Excuse me, I'm looking
For jeff willis.
267
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:22,520
He's with his publicist.
He'll be out shortly.
268
00:15:22,522 --> 00:15:24,522
- are you a friend?
- yes.
269
00:15:24,524 --> 00:15:26,690
I'm very close
To the steaming pustule.
270
00:15:29,729 --> 00:15:31,729
Harry, I've solved
Your problem.
271
00:15:31,731 --> 00:15:34,665
This young lady needs
A dog for her little girl.
272
00:15:34,667 --> 00:15:37,335
Oh, he's perfect.
273
00:15:37,337 --> 00:15:39,337
Oh, no.
274
00:15:39,339 --> 00:15:41,339
Scruffy's not about
To ruin his life
275
00:15:41,341 --> 00:15:45,043
By running off
With some blonde he met
At a cocktail party.
276
00:15:45,045 --> 00:15:46,978
Ah, no.
277
00:15:52,953 --> 00:15:54,986
The man of the hour.
278
00:15:54,988 --> 00:15:58,923
- oh, god.
- you think you're pretty
Clever, don't you?
279
00:15:58,925 --> 00:16:01,392
I happen to know that
Every word in your book
280
00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:04,028
Was published years ago!
281
00:16:04,030 --> 00:16:06,630
Perhaps you've read
The dictionary.
282
00:16:13,039 --> 00:16:15,273
You invited me.
This is your fault.
283
00:16:15,275 --> 00:16:17,275
Jeff willis,
284
00:16:17,277 --> 00:16:20,311
I challenge you for
The hand of the woman
We both love!
285
00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:22,780
Emily, I knew you
Were cheating on me.
286
00:16:22,782 --> 00:16:24,715
No. He's lying,
I swear.
287
00:16:24,717 --> 00:16:26,717
- you love her?
- my own wife?
288
00:16:26,719 --> 00:16:29,887
- you love her?
- I've never seen this man
Before in my life.
289
00:16:29,889 --> 00:16:33,458
Lay off her, jeff.
I'm the one that's been
Sleeping with your wife.
290
00:16:33,460 --> 00:16:35,460
My own brother?
291
00:16:35,462 --> 00:16:38,196
One answer, and I'll
Get out of your way.
You love her?
292
00:16:38,198 --> 00:16:41,532
And you know what?
The sex is great.
293
00:16:42,735 --> 00:16:45,236
You satanic bastard.
294
00:16:45,238 --> 00:16:48,306
- no!
- you fraud!
295
00:16:50,076 --> 00:16:52,810
- what an interesting family.
- look what you've done.
296
00:16:54,481 --> 00:16:56,447
( yelling )
297
00:17:00,653 --> 00:17:02,586
( yelling continues )
298
00:17:05,225 --> 00:17:07,458
This is very hard
For you, isn't it?
299
00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:09,693
It's the hardest thing
I've had to do
300
00:17:09,695 --> 00:17:12,863
In my entire time
On this planet.
301
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:14,565
Scruffy, come here.
302
00:17:19,239 --> 00:17:22,306
You're getting
On my nerves, mutt.
303
00:17:22,308 --> 00:17:24,308
So take a hike.
304
00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:28,879
Go with the kid.
305
00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:31,782
I'm bad news, junior.
I'm trouble, I tell ya.
306
00:17:33,253 --> 00:17:35,819
just go!
307
00:17:35,821 --> 00:17:39,090
Oh.
( chuckles )
Who am I kidding?
308
00:17:39,092 --> 00:17:41,659
Would you like to walk
Him over to our place?
309
00:17:41,661 --> 00:17:43,294
Oh, sure.
310
00:17:43,296 --> 00:17:45,396
Harry, you can come over
311
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:47,665
And play with scruffy
Anytime you want to.
312
00:17:47,667 --> 00:17:50,000
- really?
- yeah, we'd love it.
313
00:17:51,237 --> 00:17:53,571
After my ex-husband,
It's a pleasure
314
00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:55,873
To meet a man
Who's so caring.
315
00:17:55,875 --> 00:17:57,808
Oh.
316
00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:07,818
Well, jeff's brother
317
00:18:07,820 --> 00:18:09,820
Needs his jaw wired.
318
00:18:09,822 --> 00:18:12,557
- I hope you're
Proud of yourself.
- you're mad at me.
319
00:18:12,559 --> 00:18:14,758
That's fine.
I'm mad at you.
320
00:18:16,396 --> 00:18:18,796
- why are you mad at me?
- you're the expert.
321
00:18:18,798 --> 00:18:20,898
You tell me.
322
00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:23,634
Dr. Solomon, what do
You want from me?
323
00:18:23,636 --> 00:18:25,570
I want...
324
00:18:26,706 --> 00:18:28,739
I want to be
Your boyfriend.
325
00:18:31,077 --> 00:18:33,344
- oh.
- are you surprised?
326
00:18:33,346 --> 00:18:36,180
To be honest,
327
00:18:36,182 --> 00:18:38,182
Not really.
328
00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:42,019
Well, then what's
The problem?
329
00:18:42,021 --> 00:18:45,055
Honestly, there's
Something about you
330
00:18:45,057 --> 00:18:47,325
That... Seems odd.
331
00:18:47,327 --> 00:18:50,995
It's as if you were
Out of sync with every
Other person on the planet.
332
00:18:50,997 --> 00:18:53,564
How can that be?
Every day I go
Out of my way
333
00:18:53,566 --> 00:18:55,799
To do things
That appear normal.
334
00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:58,669
What you just said,
That's not normal.
335
00:18:58,671 --> 00:19:01,839
- what else?
- well, you...
336
00:19:01,841 --> 00:19:04,675
You act as if you're
Feeling everything
For the first time.
337
00:19:04,677 --> 00:19:07,678
You have no control
Over your emotions.
338
00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:10,381
You tried to feed me
Doggy treats.
339
00:19:12,218 --> 00:19:14,619
And?
340
00:19:14,621 --> 00:19:16,687
You're moving
Way too fast.
341
00:19:16,689 --> 00:19:19,857
Whatever is going
To happen between us,
342
00:19:19,859 --> 00:19:22,126
Let's let it
Evolve naturally.
343
00:19:22,128 --> 00:19:24,295
All right, I can
Go along with that.
344
00:19:24,297 --> 00:19:26,730
- good.
- why don't we
Shake on it?
345
00:19:28,801 --> 00:19:30,768
- why don't we hug on it?
- no, that's too--
346
00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:32,770
Dr. Albright, please?
347
00:19:32,772 --> 00:19:35,039
You don't know
How important
This hug is to me.
348
00:19:35,041 --> 00:19:38,643
It would give my life
A degree of meaning that
I've only dreamed of.
349
00:19:42,248 --> 00:19:44,282
- all right.
- ( gasps )
350
00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:50,120
No, I can't hug
Under this pressure.
351
00:19:50,122 --> 00:19:52,390
Try.
352
00:20:02,502 --> 00:20:04,602
There.
353
00:20:04,604 --> 00:20:06,537
That's all
I was asking for.
354
00:20:09,642 --> 00:20:11,576
I want to have
Your baby.
355
00:20:15,881 --> 00:20:18,782
You know, jealousy
Defies all logic.
356
00:20:18,784 --> 00:20:20,818
Jeff's a nice person.
357
00:20:20,820 --> 00:20:22,920
Dr. Albright's
A nice person.
358
00:20:22,922 --> 00:20:24,988
But... The thought
Of them
359
00:20:24,990 --> 00:20:27,057
Being happy together
Just made me crazy.
360
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:29,059
You think that's bad?
361
00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:32,430
Clark kent gets jealous
Because lois lane
Likes superman.
362
00:20:32,432 --> 00:20:35,266
Now, that is crazy.
363
00:20:35,268 --> 00:20:38,669
Dick, you know,
I finally figured out
364
00:20:38,671 --> 00:20:40,771
What women really
Want in a man.
365
00:20:40,773 --> 00:20:44,275
They want him to drive
A big, powerful vehicle.
366
00:20:44,277 --> 00:20:47,545
You're saying I should
Be a bus driver?
367
00:20:47,547 --> 00:20:50,514
Hey, you'll be beating
Them off with a stick.
368
00:20:50,516 --> 00:20:54,017
Dick, if you want to know
How to get what you want
From the ladies,
369
00:20:54,019 --> 00:20:55,986
- the answer is simple.
- what?
370
00:20:57,290 --> 00:20:59,790
Get a dog.
371
00:20:59,792 --> 00:21:01,825
- wait--
- harry, you didn't--?
372
00:21:03,896 --> 00:21:05,829
No.
373
00:21:21,013 --> 00:21:24,315
( '50s rock music playing )
29748
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