Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,136 --> 00:00:06,071
(theme music playing)
2
00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:24,456
NARRATOR:
Man lives in the sunlit world
3
00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:28,994
of what he believes to be reality.
4
00:00:30,563 --> 00:00:33,932
But... there is,
5
00:00:34,001 --> 00:00:38,469
unseen by most, an underworld.
6
00:00:38,538 --> 00:00:42,140
A place that is just as real
7
00:00:42,208 --> 00:00:46,211
but not as brightly lit.
8
00:00:46,279 --> 00:00:49,014
A dark side.
9
00:01:00,994 --> 00:01:03,227
� �
10
00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:40,064
(doorbell rings)
11
00:01:41,134 --> 00:01:44,035
Welcome to the Cantrell home,
Mr. Tabbitt,
12
00:01:44,037 --> 00:01:47,205
where we hope to be the home of
the future mayor of Huntsville.
13
00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:50,275
We want you to make yourself
right at home.
14
00:01:50,343 --> 00:01:52,977
Honey, our guest of honor
has arrived.
15
00:01:53,046 --> 00:01:55,746
Mr. Tabbitt!
16
00:01:55,815 --> 00:01:58,683
I hope you're going to manage
my mayoral campaign.
17
00:01:58,752 --> 00:02:00,518
You don't have
any cats?
18
00:02:00,587 --> 00:02:02,553
Why, no,
no cats at all.
19
00:02:02,622 --> 00:02:03,888
Does a mayor need cats?
20
00:02:03,956 --> 00:02:05,089
I'm allergic to cats.
21
00:02:05,158 --> 00:02:06,491
Oh, we have no pets.
22
00:02:06,559 --> 00:02:08,393
We believe four-legged animals
are happier
23
00:02:08,461 --> 00:02:10,060
on farms and in trees.
24
00:02:10,129 --> 00:02:11,329
Julian,
25
00:02:11,397 --> 00:02:13,998
perhaps Mr. Tabbitt is
craving a thirst quencher.
26
00:02:14,067 --> 00:02:15,233
Ah.
27
00:02:16,269 --> 00:02:18,670
This way, Tabbitt.
28
00:02:18,738 --> 00:02:19,871
WOMAN:
Mr. Tabbitt,
29
00:02:19,940 --> 00:02:21,540
you'll have to excuse us.
30
00:02:21,608 --> 00:02:23,107
It's Thursday night and,
as you know,
31
00:02:23,176 --> 00:02:25,377
help doesn't come in
on Thursdays.
32
00:02:25,445 --> 00:02:26,978
Yeah. Uh, whiskey?
33
00:02:27,046 --> 00:02:28,746
(sneezes)
34
00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:30,515
Are you wearing wool?
35
00:02:30,584 --> 00:02:33,584
Oh, uh, Valeria,
honey, is this wool?
36
00:02:33,653 --> 00:02:35,019
Might be, sugar.
37
00:02:35,088 --> 00:02:36,020
I'm allergic to wool.
38
00:02:36,089 --> 00:02:37,021
(sneezes)
39
00:02:37,090 --> 00:02:38,790
Oh, uh, well, then, uh,
40
00:02:38,858 --> 00:02:40,691
you and I won't get
too huggy and kissy.
41
00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:41,692
(chuckles)
How's that, huh?
42
00:02:41,761 --> 00:02:42,961
(giggles)
43
00:02:43,029 --> 00:02:45,396
Mr. Tabbitt, we are so sure
that Julian will be
44
00:02:45,465 --> 00:02:49,133
the most outstanding mayor
that Huntsville has ever known.
45
00:02:49,202 --> 00:02:51,269
I hear that no one can
get elected in this town
46
00:02:51,338 --> 00:02:52,203
without your help.
47
00:02:52,272 --> 00:02:53,705
Uh...
48
00:02:53,773 --> 00:02:55,206
You look pretty,
baby shucks.
49
00:02:55,275 --> 00:02:57,442
I look like a turtle.
50
00:02:57,510 --> 00:03:02,480
Mr. Tabbitt, this is our
lovely turtle, Charlotte Rose.
51
00:03:02,549 --> 00:03:04,215
Gentlemen, shall we?
52
00:03:04,284 --> 00:03:06,584
Ah. Ah...
53
00:03:06,653 --> 00:03:08,619
It's families
that win elections
54
00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:10,421
in this town,
Mr. Cantrell.
55
00:03:10,490 --> 00:03:13,158
A fine, upstanding,
normal family
56
00:03:13,226 --> 00:03:14,425
is what people
like to see.
57
00:03:14,494 --> 00:03:15,626
Gets 'em
58
00:03:15,695 --> 00:03:17,261
where they eat.
59
00:03:17,330 --> 00:03:20,365
Well, my family is as wholesome
as a whole loaf of white bread.
60
00:03:20,434 --> 00:03:21,632
Isn't that right,
Valeria?
61
00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:23,434
TABBITT: What about
you, little missy?
62
00:03:23,503 --> 00:03:25,570
What will the voting
populace of Huntsville
63
00:03:25,639 --> 00:03:27,438
want to know about you?
64
00:03:27,507 --> 00:03:29,307
I love America.
65
00:03:29,376 --> 00:03:30,942
Of course you do, darling.
66
00:03:31,010 --> 00:03:32,477
A-And I really want to be
67
00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:34,579
a baton twirler
for the Dallas Cowboys,
68
00:03:34,648 --> 00:03:37,781
as soon as I get a figure
worthy of national television.
69
00:03:40,153 --> 00:03:42,220
I been practicing, Daddy.
70
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:43,254
Oh.
71
00:03:44,391 --> 00:03:47,358
� O beautiful �
72
00:03:47,460 --> 00:03:49,260
� For spacious skies �
73
00:03:49,329 --> 00:03:50,929
� For amber waves of... �
74
00:03:50,997 --> 00:03:52,363
Charlotte!
75
00:03:54,301 --> 00:03:55,600
Wasn't I good?
76
00:03:55,669 --> 00:03:59,204
Baton twirling has not been
known to inspire votes.
77
00:03:59,272 --> 00:04:01,272
Charlotte, honey,
you were just lovely.
78
00:04:01,341 --> 00:04:02,707
Now, sit down.
79
00:04:05,846 --> 00:04:09,247
Exhibitionism is really
not in good taste, honey.
80
00:04:09,315 --> 00:04:11,115
We must leave that--
81
00:04:11,184 --> 00:04:13,385
we must leave that
to the daughters of men
82
00:04:13,453 --> 00:04:16,154
who do not aspire
to be mayor of Huntsville.
83
00:04:16,223 --> 00:04:17,521
(ethereal music plays)
84
00:04:17,590 --> 00:04:21,125
The true talent of women of
our social standing is to blend
85
00:04:21,194 --> 00:04:22,794
into the background
of life,
86
00:04:22,862 --> 00:04:24,796
and support those
who were born to be
87
00:04:24,864 --> 00:04:25,964
our leaders.
88
00:04:26,032 --> 00:04:27,532
(ethereal music fades)
89
00:04:29,035 --> 00:04:31,870
How did you do that,
Miz Cantrell?
90
00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:33,004
What?
91
00:04:33,073 --> 00:04:35,206
You positively glowed.
92
00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:37,041
Why, thank you, sir.
93
00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:38,843
Was that your wife
94
00:04:38,912 --> 00:04:40,344
or was that
some special lightbulb?
95
00:04:40,413 --> 00:04:41,979
(ethereal choir singing)
96
00:04:42,048 --> 00:04:43,614
Uh...
Is there something
97
00:04:43,683 --> 00:04:46,618
terribly wrong with your
poached salmon, Mr. Tabbitt?
98
00:04:46,686 --> 00:04:48,653
I'm allergic to fish.
99
00:04:48,722 --> 00:04:50,387
Do I hear music?
100
00:04:50,456 --> 00:04:51,689
VALERIA:
How thoughtless of me.
101
00:04:51,758 --> 00:04:54,692
I should have consulted you
before planning my menu.
102
00:04:54,761 --> 00:04:59,330
Only thing I'm not allergic to
is fried chicken.
103
00:04:59,398 --> 00:05:02,767
Well, I wish I had fried chicken
for you right now.
104
00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:05,336
(shrieks)
105
00:05:05,405 --> 00:05:08,606
Is that fried chicken
on your plate, Mr. Tabbitt?
106
00:05:08,675 --> 00:05:10,408
Don't it look
like fried chicken?
107
00:05:10,476 --> 00:05:12,577
It looks
like fried chicken to me!
108
00:05:12,645 --> 00:05:16,814
And you, Miz Cantrell, were
lit up like a Christmas tree.
109
00:05:16,883 --> 00:05:18,349
This is
not normal.
110
00:05:18,418 --> 00:05:20,718
This is not a normal
family, Mr. Cantrell,
111
00:05:20,787 --> 00:05:22,753
and I don't like it.
112
00:05:22,822 --> 00:05:24,922
I don't like chicken coming
down from the ceiling.
113
00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:27,458
I just don't like--
goo... good-bye!
114
00:05:27,527 --> 00:05:28,559
JULIAN:
Tabbitt...
115
00:05:28,628 --> 00:05:29,661
Mr. Tabbitt,
please don't go.
116
00:05:29,729 --> 00:05:32,030
What about
my husband's campaign?
117
00:05:36,102 --> 00:05:40,037
Mama, what's
wrong with you?
118
00:05:40,106 --> 00:05:41,906
What in the devil
is going on, Valeria?
119
00:05:41,975 --> 00:05:46,343
What is everybody
so all-fired excited about?
120
00:05:50,817 --> 00:05:52,383
I wish a big chocolate cake
121
00:05:52,452 --> 00:05:54,685
would fall
out of the ceiling right now,
122
00:05:54,754 --> 00:05:56,921
and ice cream,
123
00:05:56,990 --> 00:05:59,390
and a pair
of aqua stretch pants.
124
00:05:59,459 --> 00:06:02,226
We will not discuss
last night, Charlotte,
125
00:06:02,295 --> 00:06:04,796
and please, darling, be
careful with that makeup.
126
00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:08,699
(phone rings)
127
00:06:08,768 --> 00:06:10,735
Cantrells'.
Valeria speaking.
128
00:06:10,804 --> 00:06:14,005
(indistinct talking over phone)
Hello, Mother.
How's the sniffles?
129
00:06:14,073 --> 00:06:15,607
What?
130
00:06:15,675 --> 00:06:17,942
Oh, my, you have
a little headache?
131
00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:21,278
Well, would you like
me to call the doctor?
132
00:06:21,347 --> 00:06:22,614
I'll be over directly.
133
00:06:22,682 --> 00:06:24,883
You put your eyeshades
on and rest.
134
00:06:24,951 --> 00:06:25,884
All right?
135
00:06:25,952 --> 00:06:28,653
Bye-bye.
136
00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:32,123
Mary Anne Whipple's mother
wears aqua stretch pants
137
00:06:32,191 --> 00:06:35,459
and an orange satin blouse
that shows her cleavage.
138
00:06:35,495 --> 00:06:38,596
Everyone has their own
path to walk on, honey,
139
00:06:38,665 --> 00:06:39,897
and God gives people
140
00:06:39,966 --> 00:06:42,166
questionable taste
in clothing sometimes
141
00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:45,436
as a penance for buying
polyester in a previous life.
142
00:06:45,505 --> 00:06:49,440
We Cantrells
do not judge.
143
00:06:49,509 --> 00:06:52,410
Mary Anne says her mother
has three boyfriends.
144
00:06:52,479 --> 00:06:53,878
They sleep over
sometimes,
145
00:06:53,947 --> 00:06:56,180
in the same bedroom
as her mother.
146
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:59,150
There's only one bed
in that room.
147
00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:00,984
Don't be a
tattletale.
148
00:07:01,053 --> 00:07:02,720
Ruby Whipple has a right
to a private life,
149
00:07:02,789 --> 00:07:04,088
and if I spoke to her,
150
00:07:04,156 --> 00:07:06,357
I would caution her to keep
it as private as possible.
151
00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:08,759
You'd never talk
to Mrs. Whipple,
152
00:07:08,828 --> 00:07:11,362
but you'd let me be friends
with Mary Anne.
153
00:07:11,430 --> 00:07:14,032
Mary Anne needs
you as a friend.
154
00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:17,001
Ruby Whipple has enough friends.
155
00:07:18,104 --> 00:07:20,038
Charlotte, what
are you doing?
156
00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:22,073
Charlotte.
157
00:07:22,142 --> 00:07:26,110
It's a project at school--
art class.
158
00:07:26,179 --> 00:07:29,280
Egyptian-- we're supposed
to look like Cleopatra.
159
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:35,820
Yeah, uh, i-it's a contest,
and I just have to win.
160
00:07:35,889 --> 00:07:37,722
I've never won
a contest.
161
00:07:37,790 --> 00:07:38,923
Why don't you help me?
162
00:07:38,992 --> 00:07:40,925
Don't you wish
I'd win?!
163
00:07:45,231 --> 00:07:46,497
Mother...
164
00:07:46,566 --> 00:07:49,366
Mother, I don't want to wear
these stupid clothes!
165
00:07:49,435 --> 00:07:50,468
Make them go away!
166
00:07:50,537 --> 00:07:51,836
Darling, I would
if I could!
167
00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:53,404
Mother, I'm scared!
168
00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:55,139
Darling, take a deep breath.
169
00:07:55,208 --> 00:07:56,140
Now, hold Mama's hands.
(screams)
170
00:07:56,209 --> 00:07:57,141
You're scaring me!
171
00:07:57,210 --> 00:07:59,310
Make them go away!
Valeria.
172
00:07:59,379 --> 00:08:01,779
Uh, Charlotte was just
telling me about a contest.
173
00:08:01,848 --> 00:08:02,881
I was lying!
174
00:08:02,949 --> 00:08:04,682
I just wanted to wear makeup!
175
00:08:04,751 --> 00:08:06,618
(sobbing):
I was lying.
176
00:08:06,686 --> 00:08:10,788
Please, Mother, make it stop!
177
00:08:19,032 --> 00:08:20,964
Daddy.
178
00:08:21,033 --> 00:08:22,266
(gasps)
179
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:24,602
You are traumatizing
the child.
180
00:08:24,670 --> 00:08:26,971
Now, you said this was never
going to happen again.
181
00:08:27,039 --> 00:08:30,241
I'm sorry, Julian, I, I...
182
00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:31,976
I just don't know
how to explain it!
183
00:08:32,044 --> 00:08:33,978
Well, you better find
someone who can.
184
00:08:34,047 --> 00:08:35,914
(sobs)
185
00:08:35,982 --> 00:08:39,550
MAN: Your daughter turned into
Cleopatra before your eyes,
186
00:08:39,618 --> 00:08:43,721
a bucket of chicken came
down from the ceiling,
187
00:08:43,789 --> 00:08:46,891
and your husband says
you glow like a firefly.
188
00:08:48,795 --> 00:08:52,296
Um, are you a member
of this parish, Mrs. Cantrell?
189
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:53,764
Well, actually, no,
190
00:08:53,833 --> 00:08:57,201
but I, I didn't think it was
a Methodist kind of problem.
191
00:08:57,270 --> 00:09:00,270
Have you seen a... doctor?
192
00:09:00,339 --> 00:09:01,605
I thought that a priest,
193
00:09:01,674 --> 00:09:05,209
with a certain experience
in unearthly visitations,
194
00:09:05,278 --> 00:09:06,877
might be able to help me.
195
00:09:06,946 --> 00:09:09,981
Well, I-I just got out of
the seminary, Mrs. Cantrell.
196
00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:12,750
Let me check
my book here.
197
00:09:12,819 --> 00:09:14,585
Um, uh...
198
00:09:14,654 --> 00:09:18,990
Uh, filed under "psycho"-- no.
199
00:09:19,058 --> 00:09:20,925
Hmm, maybe "wacko."
200
00:09:20,994 --> 00:09:24,028
(ethereal choir singing)
201
00:09:24,097 --> 00:09:26,230
Good gadooshky.
202
00:09:26,299 --> 00:09:30,334
Now you can see how difficult
it is to plan social functions.
203
00:09:30,402 --> 00:09:32,403
Mother was right.
204
00:09:32,472 --> 00:09:34,439
I should have been
a truck driver.
205
00:09:36,509 --> 00:09:38,876
(sighs)
206
00:09:38,945 --> 00:09:40,611
(chuckles)
207
00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:45,183
Uh, okay, all right.
208
00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:46,617
Um...
209
00:09:46,686 --> 00:09:48,886
Mrs. Cantrell, let me
ask you a question.
210
00:09:48,955 --> 00:09:52,189
Look me straight in the eye
as you answer.
211
00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:55,726
Have you always been
a devout woman?
212
00:09:55,795 --> 00:09:57,161
Never.
213
00:09:57,229 --> 00:09:58,495
Never.
214
00:09:58,564 --> 00:09:59,897
You never prayed?
215
00:09:59,965 --> 00:10:01,165
Father...
216
00:10:01,234 --> 00:10:03,734
I believe God respects
my ability
217
00:10:03,803 --> 00:10:06,137
to run my house on earth,
218
00:10:06,205 --> 00:10:09,907
and I respect God's ability
to run celestial matters.
219
00:10:09,976 --> 00:10:13,477
(celestial choir singing)
220
00:10:13,546 --> 00:10:16,046
Good gadooshky.
221
00:10:18,851 --> 00:10:23,821
You, Mrs. Cantrell, are a saint.
222
00:10:26,593 --> 00:10:30,928
St. Mrs. Cantrell.
223
00:10:30,997 --> 00:10:34,732
If this is being a saint,
I... I don't want to be one.
224
00:10:38,537 --> 00:10:39,636
You've stopped
glowing.
225
00:10:39,705 --> 00:10:40,637
For the moment.
226
00:10:40,706 --> 00:10:43,006
It comes and goes
without any warning.
227
00:10:43,075 --> 00:10:46,010
God works in mysterious ways.
228
00:10:46,079 --> 00:10:48,445
I'm ruining
my family's life!
229
00:10:48,514 --> 00:10:50,448
I can't be a saint.
230
00:10:50,516 --> 00:10:53,084
How can I be un-sainted?
231
00:10:53,152 --> 00:10:55,086
(scoffs)
You're not serious.
232
00:10:55,154 --> 00:10:57,588
What's the worst sin
a person can commit?
233
00:10:57,656 --> 00:10:59,223
Mrs. Cantrell,
you wouldn't!
234
00:10:59,291 --> 00:11:00,758
No, you've got to
help me, Father.
235
00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:02,760
What is the worst sin?
I'm a priest.
236
00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:04,228
I can't tell you
how to sin!
237
00:11:04,297 --> 00:11:05,429
All right, then.
238
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:07,031
I'll figure it out myself.
239
00:11:07,100 --> 00:11:08,031
Mrs. Cantrell,
240
00:11:08,100 --> 00:11:09,333
what are you gonna do?
241
00:11:09,402 --> 00:11:12,336
The Devil's work, I suppose.
242
00:11:12,405 --> 00:11:14,738
What other choice do I have?
243
00:11:14,807 --> 00:11:16,741
(chorus singing
jubilant heavenly melody)
244
00:11:16,743 --> 00:11:18,643
(sighs)
245
00:11:21,881 --> 00:11:25,650
Mother, do you have
to do this?
246
00:11:25,718 --> 00:11:27,685
Well, doesn't it make
sense, honey,
247
00:11:27,754 --> 00:11:30,688
that sainthood is something you
get from not sinning enough?
248
00:11:30,756 --> 00:11:32,022
I suppose so.
249
00:11:32,091 --> 00:11:33,691
Then I'll just have
to keep sinning
250
00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:36,360
until I'm too wicked
to be a saint.
251
00:11:36,429 --> 00:11:38,028
Who's this?
252
00:11:38,097 --> 00:11:39,430
That's Buddha, baby.
253
00:11:39,465 --> 00:11:42,500
Not a very attractive god,
but very calm.
254
00:11:42,568 --> 00:11:44,502
I hate this.
255
00:11:44,571 --> 00:11:46,837
Well, unless you want
a 60-watt lightbulb
256
00:11:46,906 --> 00:11:48,706
for a mother
for the rest of your life,
257
00:11:48,774 --> 00:11:51,675
I could use your support.
258
00:11:54,513 --> 00:11:56,447
In the name of Buddha,
259
00:11:56,516 --> 00:11:58,850
and Quan Yin,
260
00:11:58,918 --> 00:12:00,952
and Rama-dama-ding-dong...
261
00:12:01,020 --> 00:12:02,919
I pray to Bruce
262
00:12:02,989 --> 00:12:06,156
every night
before I go to sleep.
263
00:12:06,159 --> 00:12:10,160
But it might help if-if
you prayed to him, too.
264
00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:12,162
Thank you, sweetheart.
265
00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:13,497
I wish this
wasn't happening.
266
00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:15,499
I know it is
very hard on you.
267
00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:18,002
Oh, I love you, Mother.
268
00:12:18,004 --> 00:12:21,438
Don't be a saint
too long.
269
00:12:21,507 --> 00:12:23,173
I won't.
270
00:12:23,242 --> 00:12:24,876
Goddamn it!
271
00:12:24,944 --> 00:12:26,477
Valeria!
272
00:12:26,546 --> 00:12:28,479
You swore!
273
00:12:28,481 --> 00:12:29,813
I did!
274
00:12:29,882 --> 00:12:31,081
I'll never
be mayor.
275
00:12:31,150 --> 00:12:32,850
(phone rings)
276
00:12:34,954 --> 00:12:37,888
Cantrells'.
Valeria speaking.
277
00:12:37,924 --> 00:12:39,923
Mother, I am sick
and tired of you,
278
00:12:39,993 --> 00:12:41,258
and your hypochondria,
279
00:12:41,327 --> 00:12:42,926
and your calling me
every other minute!
280
00:12:42,996 --> 00:12:44,528
Now, why don't you just
call information
281
00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:47,365
and tell them about your crummy
little colds and your headaches.
282
00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:49,367
The number is 411!
283
00:12:50,970 --> 00:12:52,736
Oh!
284
00:12:52,805 --> 00:12:54,405
Okay.
285
00:12:54,474 --> 00:12:57,241
(clears throat)
Very well done,
my dear.
286
00:12:57,310 --> 00:13:00,577
Uh, I'll check in
on her...
287
00:13:00,646 --> 00:13:03,214
on the way to church.
288
00:13:04,884 --> 00:13:06,216
Come on, peach fuzz.
289
00:13:06,285 --> 00:13:07,517
Straighten up, Charlotte!
290
00:13:07,586 --> 00:13:09,486
You look like hunchback.
291
00:13:09,555 --> 00:13:10,520
Fine, Mama.
292
00:13:10,589 --> 00:13:12,356
Be as mean
as you have to be.
293
00:13:12,425 --> 00:13:14,858
And if you two dare
say a prayer for me
294
00:13:14,861 --> 00:13:16,326
in that temple of deception,
295
00:13:16,396 --> 00:13:18,495
I will personally starch
all your underwear!
296
00:13:25,772 --> 00:13:29,473
O God, what will it take
for you to forsake me?
297
00:13:29,542 --> 00:13:30,741
(harp glissando)
298
00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:33,778
(heavenly chorus singing)
299
00:13:47,193 --> 00:13:49,126
Ugh.
300
00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:59,736
VALERIA:
20 dead and counting.
301
00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:14,451
Well, nobody said
I had to do 'em in order.
302
00:14:20,293 --> 00:14:22,660
How about some lemonade
and ginger snaps?
303
00:14:22,729 --> 00:14:24,795
That's my T-shirt.
304
00:14:24,863 --> 00:14:26,096
No, it's not, it's mine.
305
00:14:26,099 --> 00:14:28,098
It is not.
306
00:14:28,167 --> 00:14:30,534
That's my favorite T-shirt!
307
00:14:30,570 --> 00:14:32,436
Mine now.
308
00:14:32,438 --> 00:14:34,938
It's mine!
309
00:14:34,941 --> 00:14:37,308
You can't steal my T-shirt!
310
00:14:37,376 --> 00:14:38,743
It's my T-shirt.
311
00:14:38,745 --> 00:14:39,644
Girls.
312
00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:40,878
You're lying, Mother.
313
00:14:40,946 --> 00:14:42,946
You're telling a big fat lie!
314
00:14:43,016 --> 00:14:44,848
That's right.
315
00:14:44,917 --> 00:14:46,850
(screams)
316
00:14:46,919 --> 00:14:48,852
I hate you!
317
00:14:48,921 --> 00:14:52,189
Just because you're a saint,
you think you can do anything?!
318
00:14:52,257 --> 00:14:54,191
I hate you!
319
00:14:54,259 --> 00:14:55,559
(sobs)
Aah!
320
00:14:57,063 --> 00:14:58,795
Valeria, honey,
321
00:14:58,864 --> 00:15:01,832
how about we go take
a long sleepless nap?
322
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:04,167
I'm much too busy
sinning, Julian!
323
00:15:04,236 --> 00:15:06,336
Please!
324
00:15:06,405 --> 00:15:08,338
I want a bigger swimming
pool, like the Joneses'.
325
00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:10,340
I want a new fur coat,
like Harriet Sparks'.
326
00:15:10,409 --> 00:15:11,909
I want a five-foot
video screen,
327
00:15:11,978 --> 00:15:13,343
and I want
a new Cadillac!
328
00:15:13,412 --> 00:15:16,713
And I always wanted to go
to bed with Robert Redford!
329
00:15:16,782 --> 00:15:18,082
(heavenly chorus
singing jubilantly)
330
00:15:18,150 --> 00:15:20,417
Oh, well, this is
great, Valeria.
331
00:15:20,486 --> 00:15:23,420
Now we got the whole Holy
Roller chorus blasting us.
332
00:15:23,489 --> 00:15:25,255
I'm doing the best
I can, Julian.
333
00:15:25,324 --> 00:15:26,757
Well, what the hell
is coming next?
334
00:15:26,826 --> 00:15:28,859
I only have
one sin left!
335
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:30,393
CHORUS:
� Hallelujah! �
336
00:15:30,462 --> 00:15:32,830
(chorus vocalizing brightly
over pipe organ accompaniment)
337
00:15:38,471 --> 00:15:41,438
Hi, there,
you big sexy thing.
338
00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:47,211
St. Mrs. Cantrell?
339
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:50,047
I bet every single hair
on your head is so happy
340
00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:53,050
to be connected to such
a va-va-va-room face.
341
00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:55,886
Uh, no, they fall out when
I'm nervous, actually, and--
342
00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:57,888
No need to be nervous.
343
00:15:59,491 --> 00:16:01,926
Good gadooshky!
344
00:16:01,994 --> 00:16:03,928
(gasps)
345
00:16:03,996 --> 00:16:05,930
Uh, Saint...
346
00:16:05,998 --> 00:16:08,732
uh, Miss, Miss, Mrs. Ca...
347
00:16:08,835 --> 00:16:10,767
Can... trell.
348
00:16:12,771 --> 00:16:13,937
I'm a priest
349
00:16:14,006 --> 00:16:15,272
and you're a saint,
and I don't think
350
00:16:15,341 --> 00:16:16,440
you should be doing
what you're doing.
351
00:16:16,509 --> 00:16:17,641
Help me to sin, Father.
352
00:16:17,709 --> 00:16:19,643
I am so unhappy.
353
00:16:22,048 --> 00:16:23,481
(screams)
354
00:16:24,584 --> 00:16:26,983
Adultery with a man
of the cloth.
355
00:16:27,020 --> 00:16:29,352
Surely, God would
un-saint me for that.
356
00:16:29,421 --> 00:16:30,688
(gasps)
357
00:16:30,756 --> 00:16:34,524
Not to mention what
he'd do to me.
358
00:16:34,594 --> 00:16:35,492
No!
359
00:16:35,561 --> 00:16:36,993
Why me, Lord?!
360
00:16:37,063 --> 00:16:38,728
Why me?!
361
00:16:38,731 --> 00:16:41,998
WOMAN: I was surprised
to get your phone call,
362
00:16:42,067 --> 00:16:44,235
till you told me what
your problem was.
363
00:16:44,270 --> 00:16:45,269
Oh...
364
00:16:45,337 --> 00:16:46,737
nice decorating.
365
00:16:46,806 --> 00:16:47,571
(dull tapping)
366
00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:50,574
I like cheap plastic, myself.
367
00:16:50,643 --> 00:16:53,577
I already figured out
your problem, honey.
368
00:16:53,646 --> 00:16:56,280
You ain't been sinning
worth diddly-squat.
369
00:16:56,349 --> 00:16:58,282
I've broken
every Commandment.
370
00:16:58,351 --> 00:16:59,950
I haven't murdered
a person yet,
371
00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:02,452
but there's old Mr. Hubbard,
whose plug I can pull.
372
00:17:02,521 --> 00:17:04,487
He's been in a coma
for 12 years.
373
00:17:04,556 --> 00:17:07,491
Murder ain't the worst
of it, honey.
374
00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:08,692
Ah.
375
00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:10,728
Don't bother, I'll
get it myself.
376
00:17:10,797 --> 00:17:13,797
I find sinning so tedious,
377
00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:15,465
tiresome, boring!
378
00:17:15,534 --> 00:17:19,303
There ain't nothing better
than living on the edge of bad.
379
00:17:19,372 --> 00:17:21,638
You just don't know
how to do it.
380
00:17:21,707 --> 00:17:24,508
You can't say
I haven't sinned.
381
00:17:24,577 --> 00:17:25,976
That's nonsense.
382
00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:28,479
Nonsense, my rosy butt.
383
00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:31,648
You tell me why you
been racing around
384
00:17:31,717 --> 00:17:33,650
like a chicken
with its head cut off--
385
00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:35,919
lying and stealing
and cussing
386
00:17:35,988 --> 00:17:38,422
(laughing):
and seducing priests.
387
00:17:38,491 --> 00:17:40,757
Not to mention
bowing to Buddha
388
00:17:40,826 --> 00:17:42,759
and Bruce Springsteen.
389
00:17:42,828 --> 00:17:45,395
You tell me why you don't
want to be a saint.
390
00:17:45,464 --> 00:17:48,098
Because Julian wants to be mayor
391
00:17:48,166 --> 00:17:50,233
and Charlotte wants
a normal mother.
392
00:17:50,302 --> 00:17:51,768
And they're entitled to that.
393
00:17:51,837 --> 00:17:53,269
I don't want to disappoint them.
394
00:17:53,338 --> 00:17:54,972
That's your problem.
395
00:17:54,974 --> 00:17:58,175
You've been sinning for the sake
of those you love, honey.
396
00:17:58,244 --> 00:17:59,410
That don't count.
397
00:17:59,478 --> 00:18:00,744
What?!
398
00:18:00,813 --> 00:18:04,415
You want ol' Ruby to tell you
what the worst sin is?
399
00:18:04,483 --> 00:18:07,117
I would be ever so grateful.
400
00:18:07,153 --> 00:18:08,419
Pride.
401
00:18:08,487 --> 00:18:10,120
That's the worst sin, honey.
402
00:18:10,123 --> 00:18:11,321
Pride.
403
00:18:11,390 --> 00:18:12,756
Now, tell me the truth,
404
00:18:12,825 --> 00:18:14,725
ain't you just
a little bit pumped up
405
00:18:14,794 --> 00:18:18,796
because numero uno up there
thinks you're the
406
00:18:18,864 --> 00:18:21,064
cat's meow?
407
00:18:21,133 --> 00:18:23,533
Yes, I am rather flattered.
408
00:18:23,602 --> 00:18:25,369
Sure you are!
409
00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:29,039
Now, let's start
taking advantage of it.
410
00:18:37,949 --> 00:18:40,784
JULIAN:
Tarnation!
411
00:18:40,853 --> 00:18:43,053
Valeria, honey,
where are you?
412
00:18:43,121 --> 00:18:45,155
(laughs):
She's really flipped.
413
00:18:45,158 --> 00:18:47,991
Hi, there.
You here to see the saint?
414
00:18:47,994 --> 00:18:50,660
I, uh, happen to be
the saint's husband!
415
00:18:50,663 --> 00:18:53,797
Who are you?
We'll get to know
each other later, big guy.
416
00:18:53,866 --> 00:18:55,698
I'm busy now.
417
00:18:56,769 --> 00:18:58,702
Are you ready,
Your Sainthood?
418
00:18:58,704 --> 00:19:02,572
I'll put the sign out on
the front lawn, okay, Saint?
419
00:19:02,641 --> 00:19:04,074
I want to die.
420
00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:06,710
Valeria, I have
to put my foot down!
421
00:19:06,712 --> 00:19:09,613
Julian, who are you
to tell a saint what to do?
422
00:19:09,682 --> 00:19:12,116
(heavenly music plays)
RUBY:
Right!
423
00:19:12,184 --> 00:19:14,484
You should be dusting
her wings, big guy.
424
00:19:14,553 --> 00:19:17,654
If you wanted her to be excited
about living with a mayor,
425
00:19:17,723 --> 00:19:19,523
how about you
showing some excitement
426
00:19:19,592 --> 00:19:21,157
about living with a saint?
427
00:19:21,227 --> 00:19:22,860
Right, Saintie?
428
00:19:22,862 --> 00:19:24,728
VALERIA: God did
choose me, Julian.
429
00:19:24,730 --> 00:19:26,463
He didn't choose you.
430
00:19:26,532 --> 00:19:28,699
All set, now.
431
00:19:28,768 --> 00:19:31,034
You just keep glowing,
Your Glowness,
432
00:19:31,037 --> 00:19:33,236
and we'll make
us a fortune.
433
00:19:33,305 --> 00:19:35,539
(doorbell chiming)
434
00:19:35,541 --> 00:19:38,008
Don't you do it, Valeria.
435
00:19:38,044 --> 00:19:40,043
Don't try and stop me, Julian.
436
00:19:40,112 --> 00:19:41,645
CHARLOTTE:
Mama, please?
437
00:19:41,714 --> 00:19:44,114
No more of your
"Mama, please," young lady.
438
00:19:44,182 --> 00:19:47,283
I believe I have
a more important mission in life
439
00:19:47,352 --> 00:19:50,720
than to listen to your weeny
whinings about being a mayor,
440
00:19:50,723 --> 00:19:52,790
and your twirling
a baton.
441
00:19:52,858 --> 00:19:55,459
I should be healing
the truly oppressed,
442
00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:58,628
walking across the waters
for the world to see.
443
00:19:58,697 --> 00:20:00,630
So you take your petty problems,
444
00:20:00,699 --> 00:20:03,600
and you go stick your heads
in the toilet.
445
00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:08,705
Well, you don't...
446
00:20:08,774 --> 00:20:11,575
really mean that,
sugar plumps, do you?
447
00:20:11,577 --> 00:20:13,443
CHARLOTTE:
You're just being mean,
'cause you don't want
448
00:20:13,512 --> 00:20:15,478
to be a saint anymore,
right, Mama?
449
00:20:15,547 --> 00:20:18,048
I am a saint.
450
00:20:18,117 --> 00:20:19,116
(heavenly music fades)
451
00:20:20,419 --> 00:20:21,919
My, my, my.
452
00:20:21,987 --> 00:20:24,354
VALERIA: Why is it
so quiet in here?
453
00:20:24,423 --> 00:20:27,791
I've lost my halo of light.
454
00:20:27,860 --> 00:20:31,862
I can't not be a saint now;
I was gonna save the world.
455
00:20:31,931 --> 00:20:33,463
Ruby, what's happening?
456
00:20:33,466 --> 00:20:35,465
Well, what you
always wanted, honey--
457
00:20:35,534 --> 00:20:36,833
your glow is gone.
458
00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:39,102
And this time for good!
459
00:20:39,171 --> 00:20:42,306
(heavenly music playing)
460
00:20:43,809 --> 00:20:46,443
Oh, my.
461
00:20:46,511 --> 00:20:48,545
Ruby...
462
00:20:48,613 --> 00:20:50,080
you are glowing.
463
00:20:50,149 --> 00:20:52,883
(laughs):
You're beautiful!
464
00:20:52,952 --> 00:20:54,885
Holy shmoly!
465
00:20:54,953 --> 00:20:58,722
Nobody told me doing good deeds
was gonna light me up.
466
00:20:58,791 --> 00:21:02,158
My customers
ain't gonna like this at all!
467
00:21:02,227 --> 00:21:05,896
(laughing)
468
00:21:05,964 --> 00:21:07,898
(Ruby continues laughing)
469
00:21:08,634 --> 00:21:09,733
RUBY: Ooh!
470
00:21:09,802 --> 00:21:11,267
(Ruby laughing)
471
00:21:20,178 --> 00:21:23,914
NARRATOR:
The dark side is always there.
472
00:21:23,983 --> 00:21:26,449
Waiting for us to enter.
473
00:21:26,519 --> 00:21:29,620
Waiting to enter us.
474
00:21:29,688 --> 00:21:35,925
Until next time, try to enjoy the daylight.
42625
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof