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1
00:00:02,069 --> 00:00:05,003
(theme music playing)
2
00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:23,521
NARRATOR:
Man lives in the sunlit world
3
00:00:23,556 --> 00:00:27,959
of what he believes to be reality.
4
00:00:29,529 --> 00:00:32,897
But... there is,
5
00:00:32,932 --> 00:00:37,435
unseen by most, an underworld.
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00:00:37,471 --> 00:00:41,139
A place that is just as real
7
00:00:41,174 --> 00:00:45,243
but not as brightly lit.
8
00:00:45,278 --> 00:00:47,979
A dark side.
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00:00:57,390 --> 00:01:00,425
(typewriter keys clacking)
10
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(distant car horn honks)
11
00:01:07,668 --> 00:01:09,734
Well, here goes.
12
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(radio playing lively music)
13
00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:28,119
๏ฟฝ Without your love ๏ฟฝ
14
00:01:28,121 --> 00:01:31,289
๏ฟฝ You're such a lonely guy ๏ฟฝ
15
00:01:31,324 --> 00:01:34,058
๏ฟฝ I try to rise above... ๏ฟฝ
16
00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:35,427
(musical interlude)
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00:01:42,469 --> 00:01:46,805
RADIO DJ (voice echoing):
WLTV rocks.
18
00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:49,307
MAN (on radio):
Say, has a friend ever
complimented you
19
00:01:49,309 --> 00:01:50,775
on a letter you've written?
20
00:01:50,811 --> 00:01:53,444
Has anyone at work ever praised
a report you've turned in?
21
00:01:53,479 --> 00:01:56,547
I'm Alex Kellaway,
and I'm here to tell you
22
00:01:56,583 --> 00:01:58,449
that if you can
write your own name,
23
00:01:58,485 --> 00:02:01,218
I can make you a success
in the publishing game.
24
00:02:01,254 --> 00:02:02,720
Life's short, friends.
25
00:02:02,756 --> 00:02:05,222
Why should other no-talents
get all the breaks?
26
00:02:05,258 --> 00:02:07,124
You could be
that diamond in the rough,
27
00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:08,826
that sow's ear just waiting
28
00:02:08,861 --> 00:02:11,563
to be transformed
into a silk purse.
29
00:02:11,598 --> 00:02:13,064
Call for an appointment
right now.
30
00:02:13,100 --> 00:02:17,335
212-555-8010.
31
00:02:17,337 --> 00:02:20,839
Remember,
if you don't make that call,
32
00:02:20,874 --> 00:02:24,375
the only one who suffers is you.
33
00:02:24,410 --> 00:02:26,043
(station ID tune playing)
34
00:02:26,078 --> 00:02:30,314
DJ (voice echoing):
WLTV. Rock all day.
Rock all night.
35
00:02:30,350 --> 00:02:32,283
Rock all the time.
36
00:02:34,020 --> 00:02:36,721
Hey, here's the new one
from Justine Bancroft.
37
00:02:36,757 --> 00:02:38,856
(pop-rock intro plays)
38
00:02:48,434 --> 00:02:49,668
(turning off radio)
39
00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:53,805
So, anybody can write, huh?
Well, it may be so.
40
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,107
But something good?
41
00:02:58,244 --> 00:03:00,011
Something important?
42
00:03:00,047 --> 00:03:01,980
(dogs barking outside)
43
00:03:06,486 --> 00:03:07,852
Tonight, we get to eat.
44
00:03:07,887 --> 00:03:10,187
Steak, shrimp and artichokes.
Tonight we get to eat.
45
00:03:13,260 --> 00:03:15,993
Junk, junk. Gas bill.
46
00:03:17,163 --> 00:03:19,631
Electric bill. Junk.
47
00:03:19,666 --> 00:03:21,566
Telephone disconnection. Junk.
48
00:03:30,977 --> 00:03:32,943
He promised.
(dialing)
49
00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:37,382
(line ringing)
50
00:03:37,417 --> 00:03:39,016
WOMAN (on phone):
Mr. Guilford's office.
51
00:03:39,051 --> 00:03:40,251
Put him on.
52
00:03:40,286 --> 00:03:41,686
May I say who's calling?
53
00:03:41,788 --> 00:03:43,988
You know who this is,
Mrs. Garcia. It's Junior Harmon.
54
00:03:44,023 --> 00:03:45,890
Now, put him on the phone.
55
00:03:49,096 --> 00:03:52,463
MRS. GARCIA:
I'm sorry. Mr. Guilford's
stepped away from his desk.
56
00:03:52,499 --> 00:03:54,299
May I take a message?
57
00:03:54,334 --> 00:03:57,735
I know he's there!
He owes me money, damn it!
58
00:03:57,771 --> 00:04:00,571
Now, look, Mrs. Garcia,
I haven't eaten in three days.
59
00:04:00,607 --> 00:04:03,608
My rent's overdue and they're
about to disconnect my phone.
60
00:04:03,610 --> 00:04:05,543
That slob of an editor promised
me a check for that assignment
61
00:04:05,578 --> 00:04:06,811
over two weeks ago.
62
00:04:06,847 --> 00:04:08,379
Now, you go get him
and put him on the phone!
63
00:04:08,414 --> 00:04:10,615
MRS. GARCIA:
There's no need to be insulting.
64
00:04:10,617 --> 00:04:12,416
Yeah? Well, you just
tell my stomach that.
65
00:04:12,452 --> 00:04:13,551
Now, you go get
that greasy hack,
66
00:04:13,654 --> 00:04:14,919
and you put him on the phone
right now!
67
00:04:14,955 --> 00:04:16,887
Do you understand me?
(line disconnecting)
68
00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:19,024
Hey. Hello? Hello!
69
00:04:19,059 --> 00:04:20,592
(dial tone droning)
70
00:04:20,661 --> 00:04:21,693
(slams down phone)
71
00:04:21,728 --> 00:04:22,661
(groans loudly)
72
00:04:23,897 --> 00:04:25,195
(phone rings)
73
00:04:25,231 --> 00:04:26,397
MRS. GARCIA (over intercom):
Miss Hardcastle,
74
00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:29,099
it's that Junior Harmon again.
75
00:04:29,135 --> 00:04:31,135
Shall I get rid of him?
76
00:04:31,170 --> 00:04:34,038
No. I'll do this one.
77
00:04:34,073 --> 00:04:35,339
Yes?
78
00:04:35,374 --> 00:04:38,075
Miss Hardcastle?
This is JP Harmon.
79
00:04:38,110 --> 00:04:40,745
I met you a few weeks ago at
that 50s poster art exhibit.
80
00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:43,280
The opening at the
Museum of Pataphysics.
81
00:04:43,316 --> 00:04:45,583
I'm a victim of many openings,
Mr. Harmon.
82
00:04:45,618 --> 00:04:48,018
I-I told you about my new novel,
Into the Void,
83
00:04:48,054 --> 00:04:49,754
and you seemed very,
very interested.
84
00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:51,656
I wanted to bring over
the first few chapters.
85
00:04:51,691 --> 00:04:55,225
Mr. Harmon, I'm swamped
with work at present,
86
00:04:55,261 --> 00:04:56,828
but if you'll have your
agent call, perhaps we can...
87
00:04:56,830 --> 00:05:00,198
Miss Hardcastle, I can't get
an agent. I can't get an agent
88
00:05:00,233 --> 00:05:01,599
till I get a publisher
89
00:05:01,634 --> 00:05:04,536
and I can't get a publisher
until I get an agent.
90
00:05:04,571 --> 00:05:07,405
We can only accept submissions
from legitimate representatives.
91
00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:09,607
I'm sure you can appreciate
our policy.
92
00:05:09,642 --> 00:05:12,443
(line disconnects,
dial tone drones)
93
00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:13,944
(hanging up phone)
94
00:05:18,251 --> 00:05:19,783
RADIO DJ:
WLTV.
95
00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:23,521
ALEX:
Tired of all the rejection?
96
00:05:23,557 --> 00:05:26,891
Tired of know-it-alls who can't
appreciate your talent?
97
00:05:26,926 --> 00:05:29,661
Well, I'm Alex Kellaway,
and I'm here to tell you
98
00:05:29,696 --> 00:05:31,329
that you don't even need talent
99
00:05:31,364 --> 00:05:33,430
to make it
in the publishing game.
100
00:05:33,466 --> 00:05:35,600
I'm talking to you, you know.
101
00:05:35,635 --> 00:05:39,403
If you can spell
the word M-O-N-E-Y,
102
00:05:39,438 --> 00:05:41,438
you could be the one
I'm looking for.
103
00:05:41,474 --> 00:05:42,707
Come on down to my office,
104
00:05:42,709 --> 00:05:45,410
and we'll check out the future
together.
105
00:05:45,445 --> 00:05:47,378
You've got nothing to lose.
106
00:05:54,286 --> 00:05:56,220
(radio playing
instrumental rock)
107
00:06:06,432 --> 00:06:08,366
See you in an hour
with the filet.
108
00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:13,137
See you in an hour, Julio.
109
00:06:30,624 --> 00:06:32,122
Okay.
110
00:06:32,158 --> 00:06:34,091
You're next.
111
00:06:38,364 --> 00:06:40,197
Button it, pal.
112
00:06:44,137 --> 00:06:46,437
You can thank me later.
113
00:06:46,472 --> 00:06:48,606
MAN:
I can't find the soap!
First the water
114
00:06:48,608 --> 00:06:52,310
is hot, and then it's cold.
I used to enjoy
115
00:06:52,345 --> 00:06:54,179
taking a bath.
116
00:06:55,982 --> 00:06:58,582
Rosie, when are those
damn plumbers coming again?
117
00:06:58,618 --> 00:07:02,453
They just enlarged
that bathtub last week.
118
00:07:02,455 --> 00:07:06,357
Mr. K, this is JP Harmon.
119
00:07:06,393 --> 00:07:07,959
You can call me
Junior, sir.
120
00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:09,994
Junior?
(chuckles) Good.
121
00:07:10,029 --> 00:07:11,930
Good hook for a dust jacket.
122
00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:14,766
You want to be a writer,
Junior Harmon?
123
00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:16,167
I am a writer.
124
00:07:16,202 --> 00:07:18,336
You want something
to eat, Junior?
125
00:07:20,473 --> 00:07:21,606
No, thanks.
126
00:07:21,641 --> 00:07:23,474
Well, you've got to eat, my boy.
127
00:07:23,509 --> 00:07:26,076
Hunger inspiring art
is just a myth
128
00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:28,912
created for the no-talent hacks
129
00:07:28,948 --> 00:07:32,182
to ease the pain of mediocrity.
130
00:07:32,218 --> 00:07:35,553
Um, Mr. Kellaway, I brought you
the first few chapters
131
00:07:35,588 --> 00:07:36,954
of my new novel, Into the Void.
132
00:07:36,990 --> 00:07:38,556
It's about a young
man's descent
133
00:07:38,592 --> 00:07:40,424
into the hells of his
greatest passions:
134
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,793
an incestuous relationship
with his sister,
135
00:07:42,795 --> 00:07:44,061
the abandonment
of his alcoholic father,
136
00:07:44,097 --> 00:07:46,230
and the murder of
his best friend.
137
00:07:46,265 --> 00:07:47,398
A western?
138
00:07:47,433 --> 00:07:49,133
A what?
139
00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:51,368
It just happens,
I need a western this week.
140
00:07:51,404 --> 00:07:54,371
Look, Mr. Kellaway,
I'm a serious writer.
141
00:07:54,407 --> 00:07:56,207
What I write
comes from right here.
142
00:07:56,242 --> 00:07:59,844
Well, I'll bet. Better
you should write from here.
143
00:07:59,846 --> 00:08:00,978
Sit down.
144
00:08:01,013 --> 00:08:02,981
Let's see if you've
got the goods.
145
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,056
Ah.
146
00:08:12,091 --> 00:08:15,126
I want you to take this
(electrical buzzing)
147
00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:17,294
in both hands, like this.
148
00:08:22,134 --> 00:08:23,233
What the hell is this?
149
00:08:23,269 --> 00:08:26,204
This measures
your S-rating.
150
00:08:27,606 --> 00:08:29,740
Well, what about the talent?
What about the writing?
151
00:08:29,775 --> 00:08:32,009
Ah, well, now, talent is fine.
152
00:08:32,044 --> 00:08:34,511
If you have a little,
then your ego will profit.
153
00:08:34,513 --> 00:08:38,216
Otherwise,
only your bank account will.
154
00:08:38,251 --> 00:08:40,284
(slurping)
155
00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:42,419
(bell rings)
Well,
156
00:08:42,455 --> 00:08:43,688
not bad at all.
157
00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:50,394
150,000 plus. First year.
158
00:08:50,429 --> 00:08:51,395
You mean that
thing told you
159
00:08:51,397 --> 00:08:54,565
that I was going
to make $150,000?
160
00:08:54,567 --> 00:08:59,470
120. I get 20%.
161
00:08:59,505 --> 00:09:00,771
But...
162
00:09:02,242 --> 00:09:04,175
Would you like
some bubbly?
163
00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:05,410
No, no, no. Thanks.
164
00:09:05,445 --> 00:09:08,146
Ah, jeez!
Oh! Oh, I'm
terribly sorry.
165
00:09:08,181 --> 00:09:09,847
You know, I
really am. Here.
166
00:09:09,882 --> 00:09:12,050
Let's get this
to the cleaner.
167
00:09:13,152 --> 00:09:15,720
It's the least we can do,
my boy.
168
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:25,429
Mr. Kellaway, about my novel...
169
00:09:25,464 --> 00:09:28,232
Harmon, my boy...
170
00:09:28,268 --> 00:09:33,270
have you ever wondered how all
those bestsellers get published?
171
00:09:33,272 --> 00:09:36,240
Did you ever think
it was talent?
172
00:09:36,309 --> 00:09:38,942
Or art had anything
to do with it?
173
00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:41,579
No.
174
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:42,680
Magic.
175
00:09:42,715 --> 00:09:43,847
What?
176
00:09:43,883 --> 00:09:45,516
Magic!
177
00:09:45,551 --> 00:09:47,017
Pure and simple.
178
00:09:47,053 --> 00:09:48,819
(chuckling)
179
00:09:48,854 --> 00:09:50,654
Oh, that's
right, my boy.
180
00:09:50,689 --> 00:09:52,256
That's right.
181
00:09:52,291 --> 00:09:54,124
Oh, I'm not the only one
practicing it.
182
00:09:54,126 --> 00:09:55,726
All the good
agents do,
183
00:09:55,762 --> 00:09:57,661
to one degree
or another.
184
00:09:57,696 --> 00:10:02,900
But it just happens that
I am very good at what I do.
185
00:10:02,935 --> 00:10:04,335
(chuckling)
186
00:10:04,370 --> 00:10:07,171
Very good.
187
00:10:07,207 --> 00:10:10,841
I just can't believe
that I'm listening to this.
188
00:10:10,877 --> 00:10:12,342
Well, I'll prove it to you.
189
00:10:12,378 --> 00:10:14,111
Anybody owe you money?
190
00:10:14,113 --> 00:10:17,147
Yeah. Harold Guilford.
191
00:10:17,182 --> 00:10:19,450
Mercenaries of fortune.
192
00:10:19,485 --> 00:10:21,552
I know that scum well.
193
00:10:21,587 --> 00:10:22,854
(pressing intercom button)
194
00:10:22,889 --> 00:10:24,088
Rosie?
195
00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:26,257
Get me Harry Guilford.
196
00:10:29,095 --> 00:10:32,196
HARRY (on phone):
Hello, Alex, how are you?
197
00:10:32,232 --> 00:10:35,799
I was great, Harry,
you sniveling cheat,
198
00:10:35,835 --> 00:10:38,302
until one of my
new clients told me
199
00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:40,605
that you still
owe him some money!
200
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,440
Oh, really?
There must be some mistake.
201
00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:44,075
(inaudible)
You know I always
202
00:10:44,077 --> 00:10:45,476
(whispering):
Twelve hundred.
pay my writers, Alex.
203
00:10:45,511 --> 00:10:46,744
Even though some
of these guys...
204
00:10:46,746 --> 00:10:50,448
Harry, Harry, I've
heard it all before.
205
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:53,784
A Junior Harmon here tells
me that you still owe him
206
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:57,855
fifteen hundred bucks
for a trashy article
207
00:10:57,891 --> 00:11:00,124
that you had him
write a while back.
208
00:11:00,126 --> 00:11:01,592
How about it?
209
00:11:01,594 --> 00:11:02,827
I've got integrity, Alex.
210
00:11:02,862 --> 00:11:05,296
I always pay,
even if it's for junk.
211
00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:06,964
This business isn't
what it used to be.
212
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,966
The stuff I'm forced to publish,
213
00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:11,068
it's a wonder I can
put food on the table.
214
00:11:11,104 --> 00:11:12,369
My daughter needs braces.
215
00:11:12,405 --> 00:11:13,504
Can you believe 5,000 bucks?
216
00:11:13,539 --> 00:11:16,874
I knew this would
come in handy again.
217
00:11:16,909 --> 00:11:19,010
I've got to put out trash
to pay for it, and the wife,
218
00:11:19,045 --> 00:11:21,379
the baby seal coat
I got her last winter
219
00:11:21,414 --> 00:11:22,546
is no good this year.
220
00:11:22,581 --> 00:11:23,947
She's got to have a new one.
221
00:11:23,949 --> 00:11:27,151
I mean, she spends more time
on Fifth Avenue
222
00:11:27,186 --> 00:11:28,319
than she does at home.
223
00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:29,821
The only way
I know I'm married...
224
00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:30,988
Got a safety pin?
225
00:11:30,990 --> 00:11:32,323
No.
226
00:11:32,325 --> 00:11:34,391
The writers, they all think
they're Hemingway
227
00:11:34,426 --> 00:11:35,660
for Christ's sake.
228
00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:37,328
One guy tried to hold me up
for $500.
229
00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:39,463
(Harry screaming)
230
00:11:39,465 --> 00:11:41,465
What's the matter, Harold?
231
00:11:41,501 --> 00:11:43,834
You sound like
you're in pain.
232
00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:45,435
It's these damn ulcers.
233
00:11:45,471 --> 00:11:49,340
I got ulcers from...
(yelling)
234
00:11:49,342 --> 00:11:53,677
Yes, well, tough times
don't last, so they say.
235
00:11:53,679 --> 00:11:55,513
But I would suggest
that you get a check
236
00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:58,683
over here to the office
this afternoon, Harry.
237
00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:01,752
We wouldn't want
to add migraines
238
00:12:01,788 --> 00:12:03,855
to those ulcers,
now, would we?
239
00:12:03,857 --> 00:12:07,157
(Harry screaming)
240
00:12:07,159 --> 00:12:11,395
A rather crude
demonstration,
I must admit.
241
00:12:11,430 --> 00:12:13,730
But you can rest assured
242
00:12:13,766 --> 00:12:16,834
that check will be in
my office by 5:00 p.m.
243
00:12:16,836 --> 00:12:19,603
Now, let's get back
to that western I need.
244
00:12:19,638 --> 00:12:22,806
You're, uh, 35,
born in New York,
245
00:12:22,842 --> 00:12:25,576
an only child and never married.
246
00:12:25,611 --> 00:12:27,511
How did you know that?
247
00:12:27,513 --> 00:12:31,715
Animal... sacrifice.
248
00:12:31,717 --> 00:12:32,717
Huh?
249
00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:34,585
The good book says here
250
00:12:34,620 --> 00:12:38,756
that animal sacrifice is
the most appropriate method
251
00:12:38,791 --> 00:12:42,393
for a writer
of your characteristics.
252
00:12:47,133 --> 00:12:50,734
The last writer to use
that won a Pulitzer.
253
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:53,004
Animal sacrifice?
254
00:13:05,017 --> 00:13:06,284
Now, this is what I call
255
00:13:06,319 --> 00:13:07,685
exquisite taste.
256
00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:08,786
Yeah, it is,
257
00:13:08,821 --> 00:13:10,087
isn't it?
258
00:13:10,122 --> 00:13:12,456
An animal lover!
259
00:13:12,492 --> 00:13:13,758
(gasps)
260
00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:16,961
You never told me
you loved animals.
261
00:13:16,996 --> 00:13:18,562
Yeah, well, um,
262
00:13:18,597 --> 00:13:20,531
I can't help it.
263
00:13:26,272 --> 00:13:28,405
I just knew you were
a sensitive man.
264
00:13:29,742 --> 00:13:32,109
Ever since I read
Long in the Saddle,
265
00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:34,979
I just knew it.
266
00:13:38,217 --> 00:13:39,883
(phone ringing)
267
00:13:42,288 --> 00:13:43,520
Yeah?
268
00:13:43,555 --> 00:13:45,956
ALEX (on phone):
Junior, my boy!
269
00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:47,258
Hello, Alex.
270
00:13:47,260 --> 00:13:48,859
So, how is she?
271
00:13:48,895 --> 00:13:50,060
What?
272
00:13:50,096 --> 00:13:52,396
That editor, uh,
Miss, uh, Hardcastle.
273
00:13:52,432 --> 00:13:53,464
How is she?
274
00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:54,799
How did you know?
275
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,801
You don't think
she liked Long in the Saddle
276
00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:58,436
by accident, do you?
277
00:13:58,471 --> 00:14:01,372
I goosed the spell a little
while I was at it, though.
278
00:14:01,407 --> 00:14:02,607
Didn't think you'd mind.
279
00:14:02,609 --> 00:14:05,976
The combination of Siamese
cat and Brazilian parrot
280
00:14:05,978 --> 00:14:09,346
has wonderfully
erotic side effects.
281
00:14:09,382 --> 00:14:12,650
As I hope you're discovering.
282
00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:14,485
Alex, it's 2:00 in the morning.
283
00:14:14,487 --> 00:14:16,186
Good news, my boy,
284
00:14:16,222 --> 00:14:20,891
I just sold the movie rights
to this director for $100,000.
285
00:14:20,926 --> 00:14:22,626
Plus five percent.
286
00:14:22,661 --> 00:14:24,094
100,000?
287
00:14:24,130 --> 00:14:25,629
I can't believe it.
288
00:14:25,664 --> 00:14:28,265
I'm gonna need a spy
thriller post haste.
289
00:14:28,300 --> 00:14:29,667
Set it in the Middle East.
290
00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:32,336
And get me several
steaming women.
291
00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:34,338
Anything, it doesn't matter.
292
00:14:34,373 --> 00:14:36,139
Oh, one thing, though.
293
00:14:36,175 --> 00:14:37,908
You're gonna need
a goat for this one.
294
00:14:37,943 --> 00:14:40,077
Rosie will bring one by
tomorrow.
295
00:14:51,157 --> 00:14:52,723
(howling)
296
00:14:52,759 --> 00:14:56,160
BRENDA: Oh, no!
I don't believe it!
297
00:14:58,264 --> 00:15:00,998
He ate my best silk nightgown.
JUNIOR: Shh!
298
00:15:01,033 --> 00:15:02,833
The one you loved so much.
299
00:15:02,869 --> 00:15:04,268
(bleating)
300
00:15:04,303 --> 00:15:06,437
You're history, pal.
301
00:15:06,472 --> 00:15:07,571
Lamb chops and mutton stew.
302
00:15:09,141 --> 00:15:11,308
Memory in the pit of my stomach!
303
00:15:11,344 --> 00:15:13,076
No! No, no, no,
Brenda, no.
304
00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:16,780
Brenda, I promise you,
305
00:15:16,782 --> 00:15:18,081
he'll be gone by tomorrow.
306
00:15:18,117 --> 00:15:19,617
Junior,
(bleating)
307
00:15:19,652 --> 00:15:21,085
I mean it this time.
308
00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:23,754
We have lived together
for over a year now.
309
00:15:23,790 --> 00:15:25,156
And I love you.
310
00:15:25,191 --> 00:15:27,457
But we live in a zoo!
311
00:15:27,493 --> 00:15:29,493
A Godforsaken zoo!
312
00:15:29,529 --> 00:15:32,596
Okay, okay, I know it's hard to
share my affections with others,
313
00:15:32,632 --> 00:15:34,764
but they're my inspiration.
314
00:15:34,766 --> 00:15:36,600
I've had it.
315
00:15:36,635 --> 00:15:38,836
Brenda...
316
00:15:38,871 --> 00:15:41,972
They help me
with my writing.
317
00:15:42,008 --> 00:15:44,141
You love my writing,
don't you?
318
00:16:02,261 --> 00:16:03,327
(sneezing violently)
319
00:16:03,362 --> 00:16:04,595
Bless you!
320
00:16:06,833 --> 00:16:08,332
That's it.
Brenda!
321
00:16:08,401 --> 00:16:09,800
Junior, that's it!
322
00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:11,836
You have a choice.
323
00:16:11,871 --> 00:16:15,639
You can have me
or you can have your dogs,
324
00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:20,044
your cats, your myna
birds and your sheep!
325
00:16:20,079 --> 00:16:22,079
That's it!
326
00:16:23,082 --> 00:16:25,416
(doorbell ringing)
327
00:16:33,292 --> 00:16:34,525
Hey, good-looking.
328
00:16:35,527 --> 00:16:39,196
(growling)
329
00:16:39,198 --> 00:16:42,199
Thought it was supposed
to be a lamb.
330
00:16:42,201 --> 00:16:43,834
It's time to move on
331
00:16:43,869 --> 00:16:45,836
to bigger and better things,
my boy.
332
00:16:45,871 --> 00:16:49,139
The good book says
larger mammals next.
333
00:16:49,174 --> 00:16:50,407
No, Alex.
334
00:16:50,443 --> 00:16:52,008
I have had it.
335
00:16:52,044 --> 00:16:54,111
I've turned my home into
a menagerie for you,
336
00:16:54,146 --> 00:16:55,479
just so that in a
moment's notice,
337
00:16:55,514 --> 00:16:57,914
I can be ready for any one
of your crazy schemes.
338
00:16:57,950 --> 00:17:01,151
You know, I feel
like Lady MacBeth.
339
00:17:01,186 --> 00:17:03,721
No matter how hard I rub,
I can't get the blood off.
340
00:17:03,723 --> 00:17:07,224
Say, is everything all right
with you and Brenda?
341
00:17:07,226 --> 00:17:08,926
You leave her out of this!
342
00:17:08,961 --> 00:17:12,796
Junior, you have got
to kill that bear.
343
00:17:12,831 --> 00:17:15,132
We're looking at
a seven-figure advance.
344
00:17:15,167 --> 00:17:16,734
Presold movie rights!
345
00:17:16,736 --> 00:17:18,034
No, Alex.
346
00:17:18,070 --> 00:17:19,970
Enough is enough!
347
00:17:20,005 --> 00:17:21,905
No more westerns,
no more romantic dribble.
348
00:17:21,907 --> 00:17:26,076
No more chasing around the
Caribbean with revolutionaries
349
00:17:26,078 --> 00:17:27,311
and oversexed women.
350
00:17:27,346 --> 00:17:30,013
What are you gonna do
instead, my boy?
351
00:17:30,016 --> 00:17:33,350
Earn a little self-respect.
352
00:17:36,455 --> 00:17:39,289
(chuckling)
353
00:17:39,324 --> 00:17:43,360
You can't eat self-respect,
Junior.
354
00:17:43,395 --> 00:17:44,528
(chuckles)
355
00:17:47,433 --> 00:17:48,599
Well?
356
00:17:48,601 --> 00:17:52,937
Bring me that tie
you got off Junior Harmon.
357
00:17:59,946 --> 00:18:01,111
Hi.
358
00:18:01,146 --> 00:18:03,113
What did you get?
359
00:18:03,148 --> 00:18:04,448
(typing)
360
00:18:06,819 --> 00:18:08,819
Five hundred.
361
00:18:11,890 --> 00:18:13,624
Five hundred?
362
00:18:13,659 --> 00:18:16,426
Only five hundred?
363
00:18:16,428 --> 00:18:18,329
I paid $3,000
for that stereo system.
364
00:18:18,364 --> 00:18:22,032
It was the best
I could get, darling.
365
00:18:22,067 --> 00:18:23,433
It's not even enough
366
00:18:23,435 --> 00:18:24,935
to pay the damn rent.
367
00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:28,305
I brought us home a nice supper.
368
00:18:28,340 --> 00:18:30,941
I can't even place a lousy
300-word short story.
369
00:18:30,977 --> 00:18:32,475
All my stuff comes back unread.
370
00:18:32,477 --> 00:18:36,079
Look, we've both just had
a streak of bad luck.
371
00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:37,347
That's all.
372
00:18:37,383 --> 00:18:39,316
Things will get better.
373
00:18:39,351 --> 00:18:40,617
They have to.
374
00:18:40,619 --> 00:18:42,019
Yeah...
375
00:18:42,054 --> 00:18:44,288
Do you know that
I haven't even been invited
376
00:18:44,323 --> 00:18:45,622
to an opening in three months?
377
00:18:45,624 --> 00:18:46,857
(groaning)
378
00:18:46,892 --> 00:18:49,193
How are
your headaches?
379
00:18:49,228 --> 00:18:51,695
(sighs)
380
00:18:51,730 --> 00:18:54,331
This will be the last
time I mention it.
381
00:18:54,367 --> 00:18:57,301
But why don't you give
Alex Kellaway a call?
382
00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:05,042
Junior, my boy,
Rosie said it was you.
383
00:19:05,077 --> 00:19:07,178
Alex, I... I know
it's been a long time.
384
00:19:07,213 --> 00:19:10,781
Say, uh, I heard
Brenda lost her job.
385
00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:13,183
Oh, bad luck, my boy.
386
00:19:13,219 --> 00:19:16,553
She never should've published
that collection of your poetry.
387
00:19:16,588 --> 00:19:20,057
Nobody reads that idiocy
except the author.
388
00:19:20,092 --> 00:19:22,392
I know this is gonna
sound strange but...
389
00:19:22,428 --> 00:19:24,195
Do you happen to need
a good action adventure?
390
00:19:24,230 --> 00:19:26,196
No, not really.
391
00:19:26,232 --> 00:19:28,232
What about a romance
set in the South Seas?
392
00:19:28,267 --> 00:19:31,835
(squeaking)
Junior, I've been thinking
about you these past few months.
393
00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:36,039
I have a feeling that,
uh, Into the Void
394
00:19:36,075 --> 00:19:37,908
just might fly.
395
00:19:37,943 --> 00:19:39,509
Alex, are you serious?
396
00:19:39,511 --> 00:19:41,879
JUNIOR:
Yes, yes.
397
00:19:41,914 --> 00:19:44,514
S-Sure I can.
398
00:19:44,550 --> 00:19:47,318
Alex, I have no problem
with going on the road.
399
00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:48,886
None at all.
Of course I'll promote it.
400
00:19:48,921 --> 00:19:50,387
JUNIOR:
I mean, you just
hand me a ticket
401
00:19:50,423 --> 00:19:51,855
and I'll go on the road
for a year if you want.
402
00:19:51,857 --> 00:19:55,392
Alex, this is no bull, right?
403
00:19:55,394 --> 00:19:57,728
JUNIOR:
Yes, Alex, anything.
404
00:19:57,730 --> 00:20:00,430
Another sacrifice?
405
00:20:06,372 --> 00:20:09,339
(chuckling)
406
00:20:10,976 --> 00:20:13,510
He's all yours now!
(squeaking)
407
00:20:28,693 --> 00:20:30,527
BRENDA:
Is he going to help?
408
00:20:32,631 --> 00:20:34,931
Yes.
409
00:20:37,369 --> 00:20:39,436
But I just have to do
410
00:20:39,538 --> 00:20:42,105
one little thing for him first.
411
00:21:09,235 --> 00:21:12,836
NARRATOR:
The dark side is always there.
412
00:21:12,872 --> 00:21:15,572
Waiting for us to enter.
413
00:21:15,607 --> 00:21:18,675
Waiting to enter us.
414
00:21:18,710 --> 00:21:25,048
Until next time, try to enjoy the daylight.
37046
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