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1
00:00:02,350 --> 00:00:03,960
all: [chanting]
Down with porn!
2
00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:07,007
Down with porn!
Down with porn!
3
00:00:07,050 --> 00:00:09,618
Down with porn!
- Keep our kids safe!
4
00:00:09,661 --> 00:00:12,316
Porn is bad!
We hate porn!
5
00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:15,189
all: Down with porn!
- Porn is bad!
6
00:00:15,232 --> 00:00:16,973
- It's a real shame.
7
00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:18,496
Being exposed
to smut as a child
8
00:00:18,540 --> 00:00:20,281
is what made me
the man I am today.
9
00:00:20,324 --> 00:00:21,456
- Why are we even here?
10
00:00:21,499 --> 00:00:22,848
- We're required to be on hand
11
00:00:22,892 --> 00:00:24,198
for any protests
that involve burning.
12
00:00:24,241 --> 00:00:25,634
all:
Down with porn!
13
00:00:25,677 --> 00:00:27,070
- Hey, you know there's porn
14
00:00:27,114 --> 00:00:28,854
on your phones
and laptops, too, right?
15
00:00:28,898 --> 00:00:31,683
[chanting stops]
16
00:00:33,816 --> 00:00:35,339
- Burn the porn!
all: Down with porn!
17
00:00:35,383 --> 00:00:36,732
- We hate porn!
- Down with porn!
18
00:00:36,775 --> 00:00:39,343
- Unreal. There's always
that one dumb guy
19
00:00:39,387 --> 00:00:40,779
in every group, huh?
20
00:00:40,823 --> 00:00:42,477
- Porn is bad!
all: Down with porn!
21
00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:44,174
- Why won't this light?
22
00:00:44,218 --> 00:00:45,436
It's Satan!
23
00:00:45,480 --> 00:00:46,785
- Look at 'em, amateurs.
24
00:00:46,829 --> 00:00:48,570
They didn't even
bring lighter fluid.
25
00:00:48,613 --> 00:00:50,224
- Yeah, well, in their defense,
they're probably used
26
00:00:50,267 --> 00:00:52,487
to burning schoolbooks,
which go up a lot easier.
27
00:00:52,530 --> 00:00:54,880
- I bet an M-80
will get this party started!
28
00:00:54,924 --> 00:00:57,231
- What is he doing?
all: Down with porn!
29
00:00:57,274 --> 00:00:59,755
- Hey, you're not permitted
for explosives!
30
00:00:59,798 --> 00:01:02,018
- Sir, sir, sir!
- Hey, hey!
31
00:01:03,628 --> 00:01:04,760
all: Oh!
32
00:01:04,803 --> 00:01:08,459
[rock music]
33
00:01:08,503 --> 00:01:11,593
[children shouting]
34
00:01:11,636 --> 00:01:13,682
♪ ♪
35
00:01:13,725 --> 00:01:17,860
- Yes, tits!
- Yeah!
36
00:01:17,903 --> 00:01:21,646
- All right, dick!
- Yeah!
37
00:01:21,690 --> 00:01:23,518
- Well, if that's not a sign
from God,
38
00:01:23,561 --> 00:01:24,997
I don't know what is.
39
00:01:25,041 --> 00:01:26,477
- Amen.
- Amen.
40
00:01:26,521 --> 00:01:30,220
♪ ♪
41
00:01:30,264 --> 00:01:32,092
- Fuck me.
[all gasp]
42
00:01:32,135 --> 00:01:33,658
- What?
43
00:01:33,702 --> 00:01:36,618
[Foreigner's "Hot Blooded"]
44
00:01:36,661 --> 00:01:42,406
♪ ♪
45
00:01:42,450 --> 00:01:45,105
- ♪ Well, I'm hot-blooded ♪
46
00:01:45,148 --> 00:01:47,716
♪ Check it and see ♪
47
00:01:47,759 --> 00:01:51,372
♪ I got a fever of 103 ♪
48
00:01:51,415 --> 00:01:54,940
♪ I'm hot-blooded ♪
49
00:01:54,984 --> 00:01:57,160
- Then he's like,
"I'm so broke,
50
00:01:57,204 --> 00:01:59,945
I can't even pay attention."
[laughter]
51
00:01:59,989 --> 00:02:01,686
Yes, I knew that joke, man.
52
00:02:01,730 --> 00:02:03,123
- Hey, Mr. Shabby Shoes,
what's going on
53
00:02:03,166 --> 00:02:04,472
with the sole of those boots?
54
00:02:04,515 --> 00:02:05,908
- Oh, the bottom's
coming loose,
55
00:02:05,951 --> 00:02:07,301
but I got some glue
in my locker.
56
00:02:07,344 --> 00:02:08,867
- Station doesn't pay
for new boots?
57
00:02:08,911 --> 00:02:10,304
- We're supposed
to get a boot allowance,
58
00:02:10,347 --> 00:02:11,740
but Chief can be a bit stingy.
59
00:02:11,783 --> 00:02:13,307
[grunts goofily]
Money.
60
00:02:13,350 --> 00:02:15,222
- What happens to Granny
if he loses his sole?
61
00:02:15,265 --> 00:02:18,225
Does he start listening
to Kenny G?
62
00:02:18,268 --> 00:02:20,792
- What the fuck
did you just say to me?
63
00:02:20,836 --> 00:02:22,098
- It was just a joke.
I--
64
00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:24,187
- Cap, permission
to kick his ass.
65
00:02:24,231 --> 00:02:26,624
- Okay, kick his ass.
- Cap, no.
66
00:02:26,668 --> 00:02:28,757
[rock music]
67
00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:30,889
- You know, I actually
really liked your joke,
68
00:02:30,933 --> 00:02:32,891
but I couldn't pass up the
opportunity to take your boots.
69
00:02:32,935 --> 00:02:35,067
[chuckles]
70
00:02:35,111 --> 00:02:38,158
But they don't fit because
you're a tiny-boot bitch.
71
00:02:38,201 --> 00:02:39,681
[laughter]
- Come on.
72
00:02:39,724 --> 00:02:41,204
- I'm messing with you, man.
73
00:02:41,248 --> 00:02:42,597
- He loves you, Mickleberry.
He does.
74
00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:43,685
- Morning!
- Hey, Chiefy!
75
00:02:43,728 --> 00:02:45,426
- Chief!
- Hey, listen...
76
00:02:45,469 --> 00:02:47,384
weather forecast is calling
for a hell of a storm.
77
00:02:47,428 --> 00:02:49,865
Could be severe flooding,
so I decided
78
00:02:49,908 --> 00:02:52,520
to hold the D shift over
for double the personnel.
79
00:02:52,563 --> 00:02:54,870
- Ah, double crews--
that doesn't happen every day.
80
00:02:54,913 --> 00:02:56,915
It's gonna get cozy.
- Do we like the D shift?
81
00:02:56,959 --> 00:02:59,570
- What's not to like?
They're exactly like you guys.
82
00:02:59,614 --> 00:03:01,659
[laughs] Have fun.
- Always do.
83
00:03:01,703 --> 00:03:03,400
- Yeah.
- Do they look like us?
84
00:03:03,444 --> 00:03:05,837
- Nah, it's like a
second-generation copy kind of.
85
00:03:05,881 --> 00:03:07,535
- Yeah,
like a poor man's version--
86
00:03:07,578 --> 00:03:09,537
not rock star material like us.
- Yeah.
87
00:03:09,580 --> 00:03:11,365
- That's why we're
the A shift, right?
88
00:03:11,408 --> 00:03:12,670
- I thought the letters
were random.
89
00:03:12,714 --> 00:03:14,629
- Technically, yes.
90
00:03:14,672 --> 00:03:16,631
But it's widely understood that
we're the Chief's top crew,
91
00:03:16,674 --> 00:03:17,980
so count yourself lucky.
92
00:03:18,023 --> 00:03:19,416
- Let's put it this way--
93
00:03:19,460 --> 00:03:20,896
if there was a TV show
about Station 24,
94
00:03:20,939 --> 00:03:22,811
we'd be the shift
they'd focus on.
95
00:03:22,854 --> 00:03:24,116
- [snaps fingers]
- Bing.
96
00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:25,596
- Dibs on sexy
dumb comic relief.
97
00:03:25,640 --> 00:03:28,208
- Ah, man!
All right, token woman.
98
00:03:28,251 --> 00:03:29,557
- Ambiguous African.
99
00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:31,036
- Italian guy with sweet hair.
100
00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:32,995
Come on, let's work.
- Right.
101
00:03:33,038 --> 00:03:34,736
- Wait, guys, what would I be?
102
00:03:34,779 --> 00:03:37,434
[indistinct chatter]
103
00:03:37,478 --> 00:03:39,610
[chatter stops]
104
00:03:39,654 --> 00:03:42,613
[tense music]
105
00:03:42,657 --> 00:03:49,664
♪ ♪
106
00:03:52,841 --> 00:03:56,714
- Hey!
all: Hey!
107
00:03:56,758 --> 00:03:59,804
- Aw, man, Teddy Dickosi.
108
00:03:59,848 --> 00:04:01,502
That coif
is looking pretty slick.
109
00:04:01,545 --> 00:04:04,200
What's your secret?
- Confidentially, margarine.
110
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:05,767
- [laughs]
I knew it.
111
00:04:05,810 --> 00:04:07,464
I Can't Believe
It's Not Butter!
112
00:04:07,508 --> 00:04:08,683
- I believe it.
113
00:04:08,726 --> 00:04:12,295
[both laugh]
114
00:04:12,339 --> 00:04:14,254
- Mm-hmm.
Mm.
115
00:04:14,297 --> 00:04:17,822
- Cousin Terry!
Ha ha! What's up?
116
00:04:17,866 --> 00:04:19,302
- Cousin Lucy.
117
00:04:19,346 --> 00:04:20,999
Finally,
we're on the same shift.
118
00:04:21,043 --> 00:04:22,610
You know, it's too bad
it wasn't last week.
119
00:04:22,653 --> 00:04:24,568
You could've joined me
and your dad for lunch.
120
00:04:24,612 --> 00:04:26,831
We go out for Mexican food
first Tuesday of every month.
121
00:04:26,875 --> 00:04:28,355
- Really?
122
00:04:28,398 --> 00:04:31,227
- We call it
the Two-Terry Taco Tuesday.
123
00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:32,924
[laughs]
124
00:04:32,968 --> 00:04:34,535
What kind of special lunches
do you do with your dad?
125
00:04:34,578 --> 00:04:37,015
- Oh, man, um...
126
00:04:37,059 --> 00:04:39,235
he let me finish
his meatball sub the other day.
127
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,933
- Oh, yeah, that sounds fun.
128
00:04:41,977 --> 00:04:43,761
- It was a huge sub.
129
00:04:43,805 --> 00:04:46,024
It was a submarine sandwich.
- Yeah.
130
00:04:46,068 --> 00:04:48,984
It's like a taco,
but with bread.
131
00:04:49,027 --> 00:04:52,335
- Probie, this is the D shift's
medic, McIntosh Jones.
132
00:04:52,379 --> 00:04:53,858
- What up, Granny Smith?
133
00:04:53,902 --> 00:04:55,599
- What up?
[both laugh]
134
00:04:55,643 --> 00:04:57,688
- Hey, call me Gram Gram.
135
00:04:57,732 --> 00:05:00,082
- Both apple names,
both grandma names?
136
00:05:00,125 --> 00:05:02,171
- Welcome to the metaverse!
137
00:05:02,214 --> 00:05:04,478
[both laughing]
138
00:05:04,521 --> 00:05:10,571
♪ ♪
139
00:05:10,614 --> 00:05:12,355
- What's the matter, Ike?
140
00:05:12,399 --> 00:05:14,662
CIA got you pushing
too many pencils?
141
00:05:14,705 --> 00:05:17,012
- [laughs]
142
00:05:17,055 --> 00:05:19,101
I wasn't really trying.
143
00:05:19,144 --> 00:05:21,233
- Ah, sure you weren't,
sure you weren't.
144
00:05:21,277 --> 00:05:22,974
- I did arms this morning.
That's why I'm just, like--
145
00:05:23,018 --> 00:05:25,847
- Ah, yes, excuses, excuses.
146
00:05:25,890 --> 00:05:28,545
- You're looking good, brother.
- Thank you, thank you.
147
00:05:28,589 --> 00:05:30,068
- Ah, man, what are you
benching these days about?
148
00:05:30,112 --> 00:05:32,549
- 300 pounds,
but if that's too heavy,
149
00:05:32,593 --> 00:05:34,029
you switch it to metric.
150
00:05:34,072 --> 00:05:36,466
136 kilograms
is much easier to lift.
151
00:05:36,510 --> 00:05:37,598
- Ahh.
- Obviously.
152
00:05:37,641 --> 00:05:39,339
- Of course it is, obviously.
153
00:05:39,382 --> 00:05:41,079
It's a lesser number.
154
00:05:41,123 --> 00:05:43,081
Oh, man,
why didn't I think of that?
155
00:05:43,125 --> 00:05:45,040
♪ ♪
156
00:05:45,083 --> 00:05:46,607
- You must be
the D-shift probie.
157
00:05:46,650 --> 00:05:48,739
I'm Andres Mickleberry,
the A-shift probie.
158
00:05:48,783 --> 00:05:51,176
- Oh, hey,
I'm Andrea Snorkleberry.
159
00:05:51,220 --> 00:05:53,265
- For real?
Mickleberry, Snorkleberry?
160
00:05:53,309 --> 00:05:54,789
- Yeah, dude!
- When did you start?
161
00:05:54,832 --> 00:05:56,225
- Four weeks ago.
What about you?
162
00:05:56,268 --> 00:05:58,140
- Three weeks.
- Perfect.
163
00:05:58,183 --> 00:06:00,838
Oh, my God.
I have one week of seniority.
164
00:06:00,882 --> 00:06:03,406
Could you be a good kid
and finish cleaning the sink?
165
00:06:03,450 --> 00:06:04,886
Thank you so much.
166
00:06:04,929 --> 00:06:07,410
You got this.
167
00:06:07,454 --> 00:06:11,719
♪ ♪
168
00:06:11,762 --> 00:06:13,198
- ColoSplash.
169
00:06:13,242 --> 00:06:14,765
- Hey, Chiefy.
- Yeah.
170
00:06:14,809 --> 00:06:16,114
- Listen,
I'm guessing there's gonna be
171
00:06:16,158 --> 00:06:17,420
a bit
of a pissing match tonight
172
00:06:17,464 --> 00:06:19,117
when it comes time
to pick bunks.
173
00:06:19,161 --> 00:06:20,641
- Why don't you share your bunk
with your twin?
174
00:06:20,684 --> 00:06:22,686
- I will, and he'll love it,
and I'll love it,
175
00:06:22,730 --> 00:06:24,558
but I'm guessing the others
might have a problem with it.
176
00:06:24,601 --> 00:06:27,430
- Ah, you'll figure it out.
Hey, you ever poop in a box?
177
00:06:27,474 --> 00:06:29,563
- Not since April Fools' Day.
- Good one.
178
00:06:29,606 --> 00:06:31,434
Yeah, you know,
my doctor told me that in lieu
179
00:06:31,478 --> 00:06:33,480
of my annual colonoscopy,
I could use
180
00:06:33,523 --> 00:06:37,353
this ColoSplash at-home
colon-cancer-screening kit.
181
00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:38,659
- What, they expect you
to crap in that box,
182
00:06:38,702 --> 00:06:40,443
and then what
do you do with it?
183
00:06:40,487 --> 00:06:42,358
- You mail it to them.
Look at this. It's Tupperware.
184
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:43,577
- What?
- Yeah.
185
00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:45,448
Specimen bag, "biohazard."
186
00:06:45,492 --> 00:06:46,971
[chuckles]
Good for me.
187
00:06:47,015 --> 00:06:48,625
- Get out. What kind
of a world do we live in
188
00:06:48,669 --> 00:06:50,584
where a grown man has
to drop a crud in a box
189
00:06:50,627 --> 00:06:52,542
like a common housecat
and then mail it?
190
00:06:52,586 --> 00:06:54,196
- I guess it beats
a colonoscopy.
191
00:06:54,239 --> 00:06:56,154
- Nah, nah,
nothing beats a colonoscopy.
192
00:06:56,198 --> 00:06:58,592
They give you sweet drugs,
you pass out,
193
00:06:58,635 --> 00:07:00,637
the camera might even poke you
in the tingle button,
194
00:07:00,681 --> 00:07:02,552
and when you wake up,
they give you a cookie.
195
00:07:02,596 --> 00:07:04,032
- I was not told of a cookie.
196
00:07:04,075 --> 00:07:05,425
- They give you
any cookie you want.
197
00:07:05,468 --> 00:07:06,556
- Snickerdoodle?
- Yeah.
198
00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:07,601
- Chocolate chip?
- Yeah.
199
00:07:07,644 --> 00:07:08,776
- Oatmeal?
- Yeah.
200
00:07:08,819 --> 00:07:10,168
- Huh.
- Hey, Chief.
201
00:07:10,212 --> 00:07:11,735
- Hey.
- About the bunks tonight--
202
00:07:11,779 --> 00:07:13,781
- Share with Eddie.
- You're gonna love it.
203
00:07:13,824 --> 00:07:16,305
- Huh, yeah, I will.
Not as much as you.
204
00:07:16,348 --> 00:07:18,481
- [laughs]
- You like to spoon?
205
00:07:18,525 --> 00:07:20,396
- I like to spork.
[laughter]
206
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:23,617
- "Do not fill the collection
bucket above the fill line."
207
00:07:23,660 --> 00:07:26,184
Uh-oh. [chuckles]
I guess that counts me out.
208
00:07:26,228 --> 00:07:27,969
- Oh, Chief, you're
doing the ColoSplash kit?
209
00:07:28,012 --> 00:07:29,971
- Yeah.
- Oh, smooth move, I did it.
210
00:07:30,014 --> 00:07:32,321
Yeah, by the way,
I made brownies.
211
00:07:32,364 --> 00:07:33,844
They're on the stove.
212
00:07:33,888 --> 00:07:35,542
Those two statements
were not connected.
213
00:07:35,585 --> 00:07:37,152
[laughter]
214
00:07:37,195 --> 00:07:39,371
- Teddy, you're my guy!
215
00:07:39,415 --> 00:07:41,112
- Wait, wait, wait, because
he pooped in a box, too,
216
00:07:41,156 --> 00:07:42,679
suddenly he's your guy?
217
00:07:42,723 --> 00:07:44,725
- No, he's my guy
'cause he made me brownies.
218
00:07:44,768 --> 00:07:49,207
Now, if you'll excuse me,
Teddy--oops, I mean, Eddie--
219
00:07:49,251 --> 00:07:51,514
Time to make the doughnuts.
- Ugh.
220
00:07:51,558 --> 00:07:52,776
- ColoSplash!
221
00:07:52,820 --> 00:07:54,604
[thunder rumbles]
222
00:07:54,648 --> 00:07:57,346
- Terry's nephew
is also named Terry?
223
00:07:57,389 --> 00:08:00,218
- Dad bullied my aunt Jasmine
into naming her son Terry,
224
00:08:00,262 --> 00:08:02,046
so he'd have a male namesake.
225
00:08:02,090 --> 00:08:05,354
- Wow, sounds like something
in his life is missing, huh?
226
00:08:05,397 --> 00:08:07,312
- Hey, look at this.
See the green?
227
00:08:07,356 --> 00:08:08,662
That's just
the light stuff, right?
228
00:08:08,705 --> 00:08:10,359
Here comes the big stuff.
Here it is.
229
00:08:10,402 --> 00:08:12,013
Given the trajectory of it,
230
00:08:12,056 --> 00:08:13,710
I'd say it's gonna hit Tacoma
about 3:00 p.m.
231
00:08:13,754 --> 00:08:15,625
- You know, you should be
a weatherman, Uncle Terry.
232
00:08:15,669 --> 00:08:17,322
I mean, Chief.
233
00:08:17,366 --> 00:08:19,586
- Hey, let's forget
about the formality, Terry.
234
00:08:19,629 --> 00:08:21,501
Call me Uncle Terry.
- [laughs] okay.
235
00:08:21,544 --> 00:08:22,676
- Check out this,
check out this.
236
00:08:22,719 --> 00:08:24,199
I got a little bit here, right?
237
00:08:24,242 --> 00:08:25,766
[goofy voice]
So the polar vortex
238
00:08:25,809 --> 00:08:27,681
combined
with a low-pressure system
239
00:08:27,724 --> 00:08:30,248
is gonna create
a mega precipitation event
240
00:08:30,292 --> 00:08:32,163
in the lower regions of Tacoma.
241
00:08:32,207 --> 00:08:35,384
- I love
this weatherman bit, Uncle!
242
00:08:35,427 --> 00:08:37,212
[both laugh]
243
00:08:37,255 --> 00:08:38,779
- [normal voice] That's good.
That's good, all right.
244
00:08:38,822 --> 00:08:40,215
[goofy voice]
Now let me throw it
245
00:08:40,258 --> 00:08:41,999
over to Champ Trophy at sports.
246
00:08:42,043 --> 00:08:44,480
- [goofy voice] Well,
Champ Trophy here, Dusty Winds!
247
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:46,047
- [normal voice]
Dusty Winds, I love it!
248
00:08:46,090 --> 00:08:48,702
- My, oh, my,
the Mariners had a big night!
249
00:08:48,745 --> 00:08:50,573
- [goofy voice]
The Mariners really rained
250
00:08:50,617 --> 00:08:52,444
on the Angels' parade
last night.
251
00:08:52,488 --> 00:08:54,185
- Well, it was a good thing
it was raining
252
00:08:54,229 --> 00:08:56,666
'cause the Mariners' bats
were on fire!
253
00:08:56,710 --> 00:08:58,581
They were as hot
as some of the buildings
254
00:08:58,625 --> 00:09:00,322
we have to go into sometimes!
255
00:09:00,365 --> 00:09:02,193
[both laugh]
- [normal voice] Yeah.
256
00:09:02,237 --> 00:09:04,369
We probably shouldn't joke
about that, though.
257
00:09:04,413 --> 00:09:06,676
- [laughter]
258
00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:08,069
- You okay?
259
00:09:08,112 --> 00:09:09,505
You look like
you've seen a ghost.
260
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:13,944
- Oh, my God,
my dad's doing a bit.
261
00:09:13,988 --> 00:09:15,206
- What?
262
00:09:15,250 --> 00:09:17,078
He doesn't do bits.
- I know!
263
00:09:17,121 --> 00:09:19,123
- Although come to think of it,
he was getting very chummy
264
00:09:19,167 --> 00:09:20,560
with Teddy Dickosi
a bit earlier.
265
00:09:20,603 --> 00:09:22,387
- He was?
- Super chummy.
266
00:09:22,431 --> 00:09:24,085
- Maybe D shift
is his favorite crew.
267
00:09:24,128 --> 00:09:26,000
- Shut up!
What is wrong with you?
268
00:09:26,043 --> 00:09:27,697
- That's stupid.
Toilet duty.
269
00:09:27,741 --> 00:09:29,307
- Guys.
270
00:09:29,351 --> 00:09:30,961
[whispering]
You got to see this. Come here.
271
00:09:31,005 --> 00:09:32,267
[mouths words]
- [sighs]
272
00:09:32,310 --> 00:09:33,703
[laughter]
273
00:09:33,747 --> 00:09:36,184
[upbeat music playing]
274
00:09:36,227 --> 00:09:38,534
[cheering]
275
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:40,144
♪ ♪
276
00:09:40,188 --> 00:09:42,407
- Yeah, right?
Right, come on.
277
00:09:42,451 --> 00:09:44,018
Hey.
- [whispering] What?
278
00:09:44,061 --> 00:09:46,063
Terry didn't even dance
at his own wedding.
279
00:09:46,107 --> 00:09:48,588
In fact, he specifically
asked for no music.
280
00:09:48,631 --> 00:09:50,198
- And playing the maracas?
281
00:09:50,241 --> 00:09:51,939
I've never seen him play
the maracas in my life.
282
00:09:51,982 --> 00:09:53,810
- Hey, guys, you know what?
283
00:09:53,854 --> 00:09:56,073
Since yesterday's incident
reports were so well written--
284
00:09:56,117 --> 00:09:57,858
no typos, no passive verbs--
285
00:09:57,901 --> 00:10:01,035
I'm gonna give each of you
an extra 100 bucks
286
00:10:01,078 --> 00:10:02,210
for you boot allowance!
287
00:10:02,253 --> 00:10:04,342
Enjoy!
[all cheering]
288
00:10:04,386 --> 00:10:06,040
- He's upping
their boot allowance.
289
00:10:06,083 --> 00:10:07,781
And I got the busted boot!
290
00:10:07,824 --> 00:10:10,174
- ♪ Da, da, da, da, da, oh ♪
291
00:10:10,218 --> 00:10:12,089
♪ Da, da, da, da, da, hey ♪
292
00:10:12,133 --> 00:10:15,397
- Oh, my God, the D shift
is his favorite crew.
293
00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:18,400
[dramatic music]
294
00:10:18,443 --> 00:10:20,358
♪ ♪
295
00:10:23,753 --> 00:10:25,755
[upbeat rock music]
296
00:10:25,799 --> 00:10:29,716
- Huh, okay, ColoSplash,
time to get to know each other.
297
00:10:29,759 --> 00:10:34,677
[chuckles] Oh, another thing
in a thing, okay.
298
00:10:34,721 --> 00:10:37,680
Oh, there's another thing
in there.
299
00:10:37,724 --> 00:10:40,814
And yet another container.
300
00:10:40,857 --> 00:10:43,164
It's like a Russian doll
for dumps.
301
00:10:43,207 --> 00:10:44,687
[pounding on door]
302
00:10:44,731 --> 00:10:46,167
Oh, come on.
303
00:10:46,210 --> 00:10:48,386
[pounding on door]
Ocupado,bro!
304
00:10:48,430 --> 00:10:50,432
- Terry,
who's your favorite shift?
305
00:10:50,475 --> 00:10:52,303
- Why are you bothering me
with this now?
306
00:10:52,347 --> 00:10:54,175
How do you know I'm not in
the middle of a bowel movement?
307
00:10:54,218 --> 00:10:56,351
- 'Cause when you're in
the middle of a bowel movement,
308
00:10:56,394 --> 00:10:58,135
the walls tremble
all over the station.
309
00:10:58,179 --> 00:11:00,921
- [scoffs] Ah, gross.
[pounding on door]
310
00:11:00,964 --> 00:11:02,531
- Hey, Dad?
311
00:11:02,574 --> 00:11:04,707
Who do you like better,
A shift or D shift?
312
00:11:04,751 --> 00:11:06,404
- Are you kidding me?
You're here, too?
313
00:11:06,448 --> 00:11:08,189
- Which shift
do you like better?
314
00:11:08,232 --> 00:11:10,234
Dad!
- That's a ridiculous question.
315
00:11:10,278 --> 00:11:11,801
I like all the shifts equally.
316
00:11:11,845 --> 00:11:14,412
[pounding on door]
- Terry!
317
00:11:14,456 --> 00:11:17,677
Eddie, again,
if you had to save one shift
318
00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:20,680
from a burning building,
which shift would it be?
319
00:11:20,723 --> 00:11:22,812
- I wouldn't have to save any
of you from a burning building.
320
00:11:22,856 --> 00:11:25,336
You're all firefighters.
- [grunts]
321
00:11:25,380 --> 00:11:28,252
[pounding on door]
- But hypothetically speaking?
322
00:11:28,296 --> 00:11:30,472
- Both of you know I don't
engage in hypotheticals!
323
00:11:30,515 --> 00:11:33,083
- Okay, but if you had
to engage in hypotheticals
324
00:11:33,127 --> 00:11:36,957
with just one shift,
which shift would it be?
325
00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:38,436
- Uh...
326
00:11:43,224 --> 00:11:45,052
- Terry, we know you're
in there.
327
00:11:45,095 --> 00:11:46,967
- Would you two
leave me the hell alone
328
00:11:47,010 --> 00:11:49,621
and give me some privacy?
- Fine.
329
00:11:49,665 --> 00:11:51,798
- That was not the validation
I was looking for.
330
00:11:51,841 --> 00:11:53,277
- No, it sucked.
331
00:11:53,321 --> 00:11:55,323
We need to make sure
that Chief sees us
332
00:11:55,366 --> 00:11:56,759
as the superior shift.
333
00:11:56,803 --> 00:11:59,327
- Yes.
- Let's go.
334
00:11:59,370 --> 00:12:02,330
[upbeat rock music]
335
00:12:02,373 --> 00:12:09,424
♪ ♪
336
00:12:13,645 --> 00:12:15,604
- Come on, get your game on.
337
00:12:17,258 --> 00:12:19,695
- Eddie, what do you want?
338
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:21,566
I'm trying to dry off
my ColoSplash.
339
00:12:21,610 --> 00:12:23,960
- Well, Chief, I just wanted
to show you what a crack team
340
00:12:24,004 --> 00:12:25,657
you have here in the A shift.
341
00:12:25,701 --> 00:12:26,615
- Chief, do you see
how much cleaner
342
00:12:26,658 --> 00:12:28,225
our side of the truck is?
343
00:12:28,269 --> 00:12:30,184
[chuckles] Man, you could eat
off this baby.
344
00:12:30,227 --> 00:12:31,446
- Why would I eat off a truck?
345
00:12:31,489 --> 00:12:33,317
- Huh?
No, no, you wouldn't.
346
00:12:33,361 --> 00:12:36,581
I mean, no, but,
hypothetically--
347
00:12:36,625 --> 00:12:38,322
- What's with everyone
and the hypotheticals?
348
00:12:38,366 --> 00:12:40,585
- Chief doesn't engage
in hypotheticals, Ike.
349
00:12:40,629 --> 00:12:42,718
Even I knew that, you dimwit.
350
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:44,851
- Thank you, Dex.
- Yeah. [stammers]
351
00:12:44,894 --> 00:12:46,417
That's what I said, dimwit.
352
00:12:46,461 --> 00:12:48,202
- You're the dimwit.
- You're a dimwit.
353
00:12:48,245 --> 00:12:49,594
- You're the dimwit.
- You're a dimwit.
354
00:12:49,638 --> 00:12:50,813
- Yeah.
- What'd you say?
355
00:12:50,857 --> 00:12:52,946
- Nothing. I--
- Huh?
356
00:12:52,989 --> 00:12:54,425
- [snapping fingers]
357
00:12:54,469 --> 00:12:56,732
- [grunting]
358
00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:59,256
- Hey, check out
these sandbags, huh, Chiefy?
359
00:12:59,300 --> 00:13:01,868
We are gonna kick
the rain's ass today, huh?
360
00:13:01,911 --> 00:13:04,827
- Funny, you guys make sandbags
at the exact same pace.
361
00:13:04,871 --> 00:13:06,220
- Well, I don't know
about that.
362
00:13:06,263 --> 00:13:07,308
- Keep it up.
363
00:13:07,351 --> 00:13:08,570
I'm gonna go make a splash.
364
00:13:08,613 --> 00:13:11,225
[chuckles]
Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
365
00:13:11,268 --> 00:13:13,053
- Hey.
366
00:13:13,096 --> 00:13:15,838
Why you guys trying to show us
up in front of the chief?
367
00:13:15,882 --> 00:13:17,840
- Ha! Show you up--
that's a good one.
368
00:13:17,884 --> 00:13:20,669
Why would A shift care what
Chief thinks about D shift?
369
00:13:20,712 --> 00:13:22,497
- Because we're
his favorite shift.
370
00:13:22,540 --> 00:13:24,020
- That's ridiculous.
371
00:13:24,064 --> 00:13:26,544
We're the A shift.
- A.
372
00:13:26,588 --> 00:13:28,329
- The letters don't mean
anything, guy.
373
00:13:28,372 --> 00:13:30,461
They just exist to identify
the different shifts
374
00:13:30,505 --> 00:13:32,202
on the rotation schedule.
375
00:13:32,246 --> 00:13:35,118
But I guess only a first-rate
captain would know that.
376
00:13:35,162 --> 00:13:36,641
- Oh, yeah?
377
00:13:36,685 --> 00:13:38,905
You don't cobra me, Dickosi.
I cobra you.
378
00:13:38,948 --> 00:13:41,255
- Well, maybe
I could convince Uncle Terry
379
00:13:41,298 --> 00:13:43,213
to rethink
this whole letter system
380
00:13:43,257 --> 00:13:46,651
to more accurately reflect
that we're his favorite shift.
381
00:13:46,695 --> 00:13:49,829
After all,
I'm like the son he never had.
382
00:13:49,872 --> 00:13:52,179
- Not after I rip
your fucking dick off.
383
00:13:52,222 --> 00:13:56,270
[all ohing]
384
00:13:56,313 --> 00:13:58,185
- Get back!
- It's okay, it's okay.
385
00:13:58,228 --> 00:14:00,448
- All right, let's just settle
down with the dick ripping.
386
00:14:00,491 --> 00:14:02,058
Listen, sorry
to break it to you,
387
00:14:02,102 --> 00:14:05,453
but my crew--we just got
that something special.
388
00:14:05,496 --> 00:14:08,412
In fact, if they were to make
a show about Station 24,
389
00:14:08,456 --> 00:14:10,240
we'd be the stars.
390
00:14:10,284 --> 00:14:13,287
- Maybe on basic cable.
- On a network nobody watches.
391
00:14:13,330 --> 00:14:15,767
- Guys, this is ridiculous.
392
00:14:15,811 --> 00:14:17,291
We're supposed
to be professional.
393
00:14:17,334 --> 00:14:18,553
You don't see me
and Snorkleberry
394
00:14:18,596 --> 00:14:19,728
at each other's throats.
395
00:14:19,771 --> 00:14:21,295
- Who the hell is Snorkleberry?
396
00:14:21,338 --> 00:14:22,774
- That's Snorkleberry.
397
00:14:22,818 --> 00:14:24,385
- My name is not
398
00:14:24,428 --> 00:14:26,953
Andrea Snorkleberry,
you dingbat.
399
00:14:26,996 --> 00:14:29,607
I was just making fun
of your stupid name.
400
00:14:29,651 --> 00:14:33,568
My name is Isabella Corazon.
401
00:14:33,611 --> 00:14:35,918
- Good one, Corzy.
- Sick burn, Probie!
402
00:14:35,962 --> 00:14:37,920
- That's a beautiful name.
403
00:14:37,964 --> 00:14:40,923
And you all suck!
- You suck!
404
00:14:40,967 --> 00:14:42,229
- You suck!
- You suck!
405
00:14:42,272 --> 00:14:44,057
- You suck.
- You suck.
406
00:14:44,100 --> 00:14:47,451
- You're gonna rip my dick off?
[all shouting]
407
00:14:47,495 --> 00:14:49,932
- Hey, hey, hey, hey!
What's going on in here?
408
00:14:49,976 --> 00:14:51,978
Last time I was here, you were
nicely making sandbags.
409
00:14:52,021 --> 00:14:54,937
- Chief, uh, is that box
currently filled?
410
00:14:54,981 --> 00:14:57,635
- Yeah, finally.
- Man, that was really fast.
411
00:14:57,679 --> 00:15:00,247
- I had to hustle back in here
'cause of you and you
412
00:15:00,290 --> 00:15:02,858
and you all squabbling
about who's my favorite shift.
413
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:04,164
both: Which is?
414
00:15:04,207 --> 00:15:05,948
- I don't have
a favorite shift.
415
00:15:05,992 --> 00:15:08,646
They're all the same.
A, B, C, D, it's meaningless.
416
00:15:08,690 --> 00:15:09,952
- Well,
if it wasn't meaningless,
417
00:15:09,996 --> 00:15:11,258
which shift would you choose
to be A?
418
00:15:11,301 --> 00:15:12,955
- Okay, that's it.
419
00:15:12,999 --> 00:15:14,478
No more A, B, C, D.
420
00:15:14,522 --> 00:15:16,045
I'm putting an end
to the stupid system.
421
00:15:16,089 --> 00:15:18,352
From now on,
it's Red shift, Green shift,
422
00:15:18,395 --> 00:15:20,093
Blue shift, Gold shift.
423
00:15:20,136 --> 00:15:22,399
That'll put an end
to your childish bickering.
424
00:15:22,443 --> 00:15:24,358
♪ ♪
425
00:15:24,401 --> 00:15:26,577
[groaning]
426
00:15:26,621 --> 00:15:28,840
Oh, stupid box.
427
00:15:28,884 --> 00:15:30,625
- We're gold shift.
- No, we're gold shift.
428
00:15:30,668 --> 00:15:32,409
- We're the gold shift.
I call dibs on the gold shift.
429
00:15:32,453 --> 00:15:35,586
- Okay, okay, okay, hold on!
Hold on, hold on a second.
430
00:15:35,630 --> 00:15:38,241
As the captain
of today's shift--
431
00:15:38,285 --> 00:15:39,721
- It's still our shift.
432
00:15:39,764 --> 00:15:42,245
- I propose
a head-to-head competition
433
00:15:42,289 --> 00:15:45,074
to determine who is
the top shift of this station.
434
00:15:45,118 --> 00:15:46,597
- You're going down.
435
00:15:46,641 --> 00:15:48,643
- May the best shift win.
436
00:15:48,686 --> 00:15:49,992
- Mm.
- Come on.
437
00:15:50,036 --> 00:15:52,125
- I'm right here.
- Come on.
438
00:15:52,168 --> 00:15:53,996
- I'm gonna be over here.
- You're a douchebag.
439
00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:55,650
- All right, yeah.
- It's on.
440
00:15:55,693 --> 00:15:58,827
- Disappear.
- It's on, man.
441
00:15:58,870 --> 00:16:00,916
- I'm watching you.
- All right.
442
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:02,657
- Whoa, hey.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
443
00:16:02,700 --> 00:16:04,180
- I'm all right.
I'm all right.
444
00:16:04,224 --> 00:16:05,834
- Hey, let's get back to work.
- Get back.
445
00:16:09,229 --> 00:16:12,188
[all grunting]
446
00:16:12,232 --> 00:16:15,191
[rock music]
447
00:16:15,235 --> 00:16:22,242
♪ ♪
448
00:16:31,555 --> 00:16:34,036
- What's going on? We've been
going at this for 20 minutes,
449
00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:35,690
and nobody's moved an inch.
450
00:16:35,733 --> 00:16:37,822
- Maybe both shifts
are equal in every way.
451
00:16:37,866 --> 00:16:40,695
- Psst, hey, guys, we should
try the "Squid Game" strategy,
452
00:16:40,738 --> 00:16:42,392
where the whole team moves
forward three steps
453
00:16:42,436 --> 00:16:43,915
and the other team falls.
454
00:16:43,959 --> 00:16:46,440
- Spoiler alert--
I'm only on episode three.
455
00:16:46,483 --> 00:16:47,832
- Oh, is that the one
with the cookies?
456
00:16:47,876 --> 00:16:49,486
- Oh, come on!
457
00:16:49,530 --> 00:16:51,401
- And they took
three steps forward
458
00:16:51,445 --> 00:16:54,361
and caused the entire
other team to fall down.
459
00:16:54,404 --> 00:16:57,146
- Hey, spoiler alert--
I haven't seen season one.
460
00:16:57,190 --> 00:16:59,844
- It's really, really good,
a must-watch.
461
00:16:59,888 --> 00:17:01,368
- Okay, let's do this.
462
00:17:01,411 --> 00:17:05,894
Ready?
One, two, three.
463
00:17:05,937 --> 00:17:08,984
[all yelling]
464
00:17:11,943 --> 00:17:14,033
- Did you guys "Squid Game" us?
465
00:17:14,076 --> 00:17:16,209
- Yeah.
- Has everybody seen it?
466
00:17:16,252 --> 00:17:19,038
- Fine, if a test of brawn
won't settle this,
467
00:17:19,081 --> 00:17:21,344
then let's pivot
to a test of brains.
468
00:17:21,388 --> 00:17:23,825
- Damn it.
- Damn.
469
00:17:23,868 --> 00:17:25,653
- If you're so close
to the Chief,
470
00:17:25,696 --> 00:17:27,611
let's see who knows him best.
471
00:17:27,655 --> 00:17:30,397
[upbeat music]
472
00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:32,529
- Guys, come on,
it's my lunch break here.
473
00:17:32,573 --> 00:17:34,227
I just stopped by to drop off
Terry's statins.
474
00:17:34,270 --> 00:17:36,316
I'm not doing this.
- Pretty please, Aunt Vicky.
475
00:17:36,359 --> 00:17:38,187
- Please, come on.
- Come on.
476
00:17:38,231 --> 00:17:40,581
- You're the best judge
for this, Mom, please.
477
00:17:40,624 --> 00:17:42,061
- Okay.
- Yes!
478
00:17:42,104 --> 00:17:44,585
[cheering]
479
00:17:44,628 --> 00:17:46,413
- Yes, Vicky.
- Come on, Granny.
480
00:17:46,456 --> 00:17:49,329
- All right, all right,
let's get this split up here.
481
00:17:49,372 --> 00:17:51,026
- Let's go, Granny.
- Come on, Granny.
482
00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:52,332
Come on, Granny.
483
00:17:53,768 --> 00:17:59,208
- Okay, who is Terry McConky's
sex-ception?
484
00:17:59,252 --> 00:18:00,992
both: Lucy Lawless
Xena, Warrior Princess!
485
00:18:01,036 --> 00:18:02,559
- Yeah!
- Yes!
486
00:18:02,603 --> 00:18:04,257
- He tells you these things?
487
00:18:04,300 --> 00:18:05,780
- Go get 'em, Ike.
Go get 'em, Ike.
488
00:18:05,823 --> 00:18:07,129
- Oh, yeah, it's me.
- Next, here we go.
489
00:18:07,173 --> 00:18:08,783
- Come on.
- Oh, yeah, here we go.
490
00:18:08,826 --> 00:18:10,437
- Yeah.
[chuckles]
491
00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:13,788
- How old is Terry
in dog years?
492
00:18:13,831 --> 00:18:15,703
- Dogs age faster that humans.
- If we know that Terry...
493
00:18:15,746 --> 00:18:17,444
- But the average dog runs...
- Hates dogs, we can assume...
494
00:18:17,487 --> 00:18:18,923
- Twice as fast as the...
- It's because dogs live...
495
00:18:18,967 --> 00:18:20,751
- Average human...
- Longer than Terry...
496
00:18:20,795 --> 00:18:22,318
- At least in my experience...
- Although, not as long...
497
00:18:22,362 --> 00:18:23,798
- Okay, okay.
I just have an hour for lunch,
498
00:18:23,841 --> 00:18:26,017
so could we just call this
a push?
499
00:18:26,061 --> 00:18:29,760
both: Seven.
- Wow, that is correct.
500
00:18:29,804 --> 00:18:31,545
Ish?
both: Yes!
501
00:18:31,588 --> 00:18:33,416
- Take that!
- Yes!
502
00:18:33,460 --> 00:18:34,896
- Yes!
- Yes!
503
00:18:34,939 --> 00:18:36,158
- Really shocking.
- That was awesome.
504
00:18:36,202 --> 00:18:37,638
- Here we go.
- Come on, Cap.
505
00:18:37,681 --> 00:18:39,248
- All right, here we go.
- Here we go, Cap.
506
00:18:39,292 --> 00:18:41,598
- What is number one
on Terry's bucket list?
507
00:18:41,642 --> 00:18:43,296
both: Front-row seat,
Criss Angel's "Mindfreak."
508
00:18:43,339 --> 00:18:44,949
- Sadly, I know that
to be true,
509
00:18:44,993 --> 00:18:47,038
and that is a tie, okay?
510
00:18:47,082 --> 00:18:48,692
- Whoo!
- Yeah!
511
00:18:48,736 --> 00:18:50,999
- All right, all right.
- That's our captain!
512
00:18:51,042 --> 00:18:54,394
- This is the last question
that I am reading.
513
00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:59,573
- What is Terry's favorite
naptime snack?
514
00:18:59,616 --> 00:19:00,965
- Tea and pretzels.
515
00:19:01,009 --> 00:19:04,752
- We won! We won!
- But what kind exactly?
516
00:19:04,795 --> 00:19:06,841
- What?
517
00:19:06,884 --> 00:19:08,538
- Country Bumpkin
brand sweet tea
518
00:19:08,582 --> 00:19:10,932
and Flugelsohn Brother pretzel
rods, extra-salted!
519
00:19:10,975 --> 00:19:12,629
But I guess
you would have known that
520
00:19:12,673 --> 00:19:14,153
if you were the son
he never had.
521
00:19:14,196 --> 00:19:16,329
all: Oh!
both: He said it first.
522
00:19:16,372 --> 00:19:18,679
- She got more specific.
She got more specific.
523
00:19:18,722 --> 00:19:22,291
- Whoa, hey, hey!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey!
524
00:19:22,335 --> 00:19:24,075
Sorry to break up
the fun here, guys,
525
00:19:24,119 --> 00:19:25,338
but the storm moved
up the coast--
526
00:19:25,381 --> 00:19:26,382
danger averted.
527
00:19:26,426 --> 00:19:27,949
D shift, you can go home.
528
00:19:27,992 --> 00:19:30,256
- But, Chief, we're just about
to win the gold.
529
00:19:30,299 --> 00:19:31,692
all: Yeah.
- What do you mean?
530
00:19:31,735 --> 00:19:32,823
Dickosi, you guys
are dismissed, go.
531
00:19:32,867 --> 00:19:34,216
Go, go, go.
- [sighs]
532
00:19:34,260 --> 00:19:35,696
- No, Cap,
we worked for the gold.
533
00:19:35,739 --> 00:19:37,132
- I said--
- Hey.
534
00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:38,612
What are you doing
with these clowns?
535
00:19:38,655 --> 00:19:39,700
- Can I just give you
your statins
536
00:19:39,743 --> 00:19:41,136
and go back to work, please?
537
00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:42,877
- What's "The In-Terry-gation"?
- Uh-uh.
538
00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:44,922
- What is this?
What are you guys doing?
539
00:19:44,966 --> 00:19:46,750
- [sighs]
- Where you going?
540
00:19:46,794 --> 00:19:50,319
- Captain, Captain.
You were never gonna win.
541
00:19:50,363 --> 00:19:53,627
None of us were.
We're too evenly matched.
542
00:19:53,670 --> 00:19:56,586
There's no Gold shift
designation for either squad.
543
00:19:56,630 --> 00:20:01,112
The only gold is the shining
glow we feel in our hearts,
544
00:20:01,156 --> 00:20:05,813
that 24-karat pride
we feel as firefighters
545
00:20:05,856 --> 00:20:09,643
doing the best we can do
for our community
546
00:20:09,686 --> 00:20:10,992
and our chief.
547
00:20:11,035 --> 00:20:13,777
- Amen, brother.
[chuckles] Amen.
548
00:20:13,821 --> 00:20:16,171
- You know, I couldn't have
said it better myself, Penisi.
549
00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:19,566
Although I could have said it
equally as well.
550
00:20:19,609 --> 00:20:21,132
[laughter]
551
00:20:21,176 --> 00:20:23,439
- Son of a bitch.
552
00:20:23,483 --> 00:20:25,876
- Cobra.
- Oh!
553
00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:28,923
[laughter]
- Oh, he got you.
554
00:20:28,966 --> 00:20:31,926
- Okay, all right, all right.
- Truce?
555
00:20:31,969 --> 00:20:33,841
- You work it out
with Dickosi?
556
00:20:33,884 --> 00:20:35,408
- Yeah, yeah, yeah,
we talked about it,
557
00:20:35,451 --> 00:20:36,887
and we came to the agreement
that the A team
558
00:20:36,931 --> 00:20:38,324
will now be known
as the Gold shift
559
00:20:38,367 --> 00:20:39,847
and, also,
you like us the best.
560
00:20:39,890 --> 00:20:41,544
- Good man, but you know
561
00:20:41,588 --> 00:20:43,546
who I actually like best
in this room?
562
00:20:43,590 --> 00:20:45,940
My one and only best gal.
There she is.
563
00:20:45,983 --> 00:20:48,986
- Aw, thank you.
- Mwah.
564
00:20:49,030 --> 00:20:51,119
And, honey, while I got you...
- Yes. Mm-hmm?
565
00:20:51,162 --> 00:20:52,599
- Could you take this
to the post office
566
00:20:52,642 --> 00:20:55,428
on your way back to work?
- Hell, no.
567
00:20:55,471 --> 00:20:57,691
I'm not walking into
the post office carrying that.
568
00:20:57,734 --> 00:20:59,345
- It's shit.
- Although, you know,
569
00:20:59,388 --> 00:21:01,564
I know someone
who would carry it for you.
570
00:21:01,608 --> 00:21:03,131
- Hmm?
- Lucy Lawless.
571
00:21:03,174 --> 00:21:04,698
I bet she'd carry your poop.
572
00:21:04,741 --> 00:21:06,787
- Hmm. Hmm.
- [gasps]
573
00:21:06,830 --> 00:21:08,179
- Bye, honey.
574
00:21:08,223 --> 00:21:09,703
Who told her
about Lucy Lawless?
575
00:21:09,746 --> 00:21:11,618
- Granny told her.
- Gram Gram, you mean.
576
00:21:11,661 --> 00:21:12,967
- It was Gram Gram.
Gram Gram told her.
577
00:21:13,010 --> 00:21:14,708
- All right,
well, you know what?
578
00:21:14,751 --> 00:21:18,668
Congratulations, Mickleberry.
You get the honors.
579
00:21:18,712 --> 00:21:20,279
- Oh!
580
00:21:20,322 --> 00:21:22,324
Holy crap,
that's surprisingly heavy.
581
00:21:22,368 --> 00:21:24,631
- Taco Tuesday!
[chuckles]
582
00:21:24,674 --> 00:21:27,068
All right, back to work,
Gold shift.
583
00:21:27,111 --> 00:21:29,026
- All right,
that's right, Gold shift.
584
00:21:29,070 --> 00:21:30,941
Sounds good.
Let's go to work.
585
00:21:30,985 --> 00:21:32,769
- Ah, I need
to take my statins.
586
00:21:36,469 --> 00:21:39,689
[upbeat rock music]
587
00:21:39,733 --> 00:21:41,343
- Chief, I know
we worked it all out,
588
00:21:41,387 --> 00:21:43,171
but I got to say,
there's still some things
589
00:21:43,214 --> 00:21:45,478
we saw you do with the D shift
that you never do with us.
590
00:21:45,521 --> 00:21:47,480
- Yeah, like the bits,
the dancing,
591
00:21:47,523 --> 00:21:49,351
the boot allowance.
- What are you talking about?
592
00:21:49,395 --> 00:21:51,571
I do that stuff
with all you guys.
593
00:21:51,614 --> 00:21:53,312
- That is not true.
- Yes, it is true.
594
00:21:53,355 --> 00:21:54,922
Ike, remember last week,
you and I did
595
00:21:54,965 --> 00:21:56,706
the used-car salesman bit?
596
00:21:56,750 --> 00:21:58,708
- Oh, yeah.
No, we did do that bit.
597
00:21:58,752 --> 00:22:00,667
That's right.
598
00:22:00,710 --> 00:22:02,712
What's it gonna take to get you
to drive away in this today?
599
00:22:02,756 --> 00:22:04,932
- You'd look pretty good
in a Toyota Corolla, sir.
600
00:22:04,975 --> 00:22:07,151
- You don't like the color?
We can paint it.
601
00:22:07,195 --> 00:22:09,502
- This car ain't gonna
drive itself.
602
00:22:09,545 --> 00:22:11,591
- With the thing in the front.
603
00:22:11,634 --> 00:22:14,071
- And you,
you and I danced the salsa.
604
00:22:14,115 --> 00:22:15,769
- First of all, it's sal-sa.
605
00:22:15,812 --> 00:22:17,684
- That's what I said, salsa.
- It's sal-sa.
606
00:22:17,727 --> 00:22:19,425
- Also, last month,
I told you,
607
00:22:19,468 --> 00:22:21,165
your crew could increase
their boot allowance.
608
00:22:21,209 --> 00:22:23,342
both: What?
- Oh, yeah, you're right.
609
00:22:23,385 --> 00:22:25,431
You did.
I forgot to tell you guys.
610
00:22:25,474 --> 00:22:27,215
Ha ha! This whole thing
could have been avoided.
611
00:22:27,258 --> 00:22:28,695
What are you gonna do?
612
00:22:28,738 --> 00:22:30,349
- You guys are just like
my real daughters.
613
00:22:30,392 --> 00:22:32,133
Each one thinks
I treat the other one better.
614
00:22:32,176 --> 00:22:34,048
That's the way kids are.
- She is your real daughter.
615
00:22:34,091 --> 00:22:36,267
- You're not!
- You are softer on my sisters.
616
00:22:36,311 --> 00:22:38,574
- See, this is what I'm
talking about--look at this.
617
00:22:38,618 --> 00:22:40,097
- Hey, Mickleberry.
- Mickleberry!
618
00:22:40,141 --> 00:22:41,795
I told you to mail that
days ago.
619
00:22:41,838 --> 00:22:43,666
- I did, sir.
620
00:22:43,710 --> 00:22:45,712
It says "Return to sender--
insufficient postage."
621
00:22:45,755 --> 00:22:47,496
It must have been too heavy.
- [laughs]
622
00:22:47,540 --> 00:22:49,803
- Mama always said
I could fill up the diaper.
623
00:22:49,846 --> 00:22:51,370
- [gags]
- Hey, screw it.
624
00:22:51,413 --> 00:22:52,762
I'm gonna go in
for a colonoscopy.
625
00:22:52,806 --> 00:22:54,373
- You should.
626
00:22:54,416 --> 00:22:55,983
- What do you want me
to do with this, sir?
627
00:22:56,026 --> 00:22:57,680
- Ugh.
- You know what?
628
00:22:57,724 --> 00:22:59,900
We should stash it in the wall
like a time capsule
629
00:22:59,943 --> 00:23:01,510
and wait
for a future crew to find it.
630
00:23:01,554 --> 00:23:03,643
- [laughs] We should leave it
for the D shift.
631
00:23:03,686 --> 00:23:05,253
- Oh, I know what to do.
632
00:23:06,820 --> 00:23:09,213
- Oh, oh, now we're talking.
- What are you up to?
633
00:23:09,257 --> 00:23:10,911
- What are you doing?
634
00:23:10,954 --> 00:23:12,869
- Uh-oh.
- What?
635
00:23:12,913 --> 00:23:15,350
- You're gonna put it
in their fridge, aren't you?
636
00:23:15,394 --> 00:23:18,658
- Reverse psychology.
[laughter]
637
00:23:18,701 --> 00:23:21,617
- They'll definitely eat it.
638
00:23:21,661 --> 00:23:25,795
I've fallen for that one.
[laughter continues]
639
00:23:28,363 --> 00:23:30,321
We've had a lot of fun
here today.
640
00:23:30,365 --> 00:23:32,411
But colorectal health
is no joke.
641
00:23:32,454 --> 00:23:34,021
Right, guys?
642
00:23:34,064 --> 00:23:35,631
- Wait.
- What?
643
00:23:35,675 --> 00:23:36,980
- What are we doing?
644
00:23:37,024 --> 00:23:39,026
- Exactly--
we all should be asking,
645
00:23:39,069 --> 00:23:41,332
"What are we doing
to prevent colon cancer?"
646
00:23:41,376 --> 00:23:45,598
Screening is an easy way
to avoid serious health risks.
647
00:23:45,641 --> 00:23:47,774
- If you're age 50 or over,
ask your doctor
648
00:23:47,817 --> 00:23:49,863
about which test
is best for you.
649
00:23:49,906 --> 00:23:51,560
And who knows?
650
00:23:51,604 --> 00:23:54,650
Maybe your doctor will even
poke your tingle button.
651
00:23:54,694 --> 00:23:56,260
- So go get screened.
652
00:23:56,304 --> 00:24:01,135
An ounce of prevention
is worth a pound of cure.
653
00:24:01,178 --> 00:24:03,485
- Okay, what is--
654
00:24:03,529 --> 00:24:05,400
- Oh.
- What is happening?
655
00:24:05,444 --> 00:24:07,010
I feel like
I'm having a stroke.
48346
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