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MALE NARRATOR:
Once upon a time,
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there was a little girl
named Tabitha.
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She and her family lived
in a typical American home.
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There was a mother,
Samantha...
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[ZAPS]
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...a father, Darren,
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[ZAPS]
Little Tabitha,
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and her brother, Adam.
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As Tabitha grew older,
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her parents discovered
that she was a gifted child.
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Book.
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Quite gifted.
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But wisely,
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00:00:29,040 --> 00:00:31,000
they didn't pay
a lot of attention to that.
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And Tabitha grew up
just right,
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with pigtails and freckles,
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just like any other
typical American girl.
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[ZAPS]
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Uh, almost.
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♪ Some people got it ♪
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♪ Some people don't ♪
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♪ You'll never know
Until you try ♪
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♪ You never know, baby
You can fly ♪
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♪ If you try ♪
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♪ It could be magic ♪
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♪ The way I feel ♪
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♪ It could be magic ♪
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♪ But it feels so real ♪
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♪ It could be magic ♪
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♪ Ooh, yeah ♪
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♪ Well, it could be magic ♪
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♪ It could be magic ♪
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[♪♪♪]
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Well, that's all
for The Paul Thurston Show
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tonight.
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I want to thank my guest,
Dr. Willis Thatcher,
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the world renowned
and widely respected
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thinker and philosopher,
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00:01:43,080 --> 00:01:45,090
for sharing with us
his theories on life.
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And may I say, Doc...
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[SCOFFS]
...they're really cuckoo.
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PAUL:
And now, getting back
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to something
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that makes more sense,
a word
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from Sweet Socks
Spray Cologne.
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You may not be able
to look as good
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00:01:55,010 --> 00:01:55,130
as Paul Thurston,
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but you sure can
smell as good.
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[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
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Mm, mm, hm.
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Isn't he gorgeous?
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When are you going
to do something
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00:02:05,100 --> 00:02:05,220
about him?
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I agree.
Something ought
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00:02:07,090 --> 00:02:08,120
to be done about him.
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00:02:08,180 --> 00:02:10,050
Don't you think
he's attractive?
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00:02:10,110 --> 00:02:11,230
Oh, sure.
But the problem is,
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so does he.
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Do you know,
I've never seen Paul
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00:02:14,110 --> 00:02:15,010
pass a mirror
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-without winking at himself.
-[BOTH CHUCKLE]
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00:02:18,050 --> 00:02:20,180
Well, so what's wrong
with a little vanity?
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00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:23,130
Oh, Paul's not only
a little vain, he's conceited.
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Also, arrogant, self-centered,
and-and an egomaniac.
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Other than that, he's perfect.
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00:02:30,030 --> 00:02:33,110
Suppose he wasn't
all those things?
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Would you be interested?
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Well, I don't know.
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TABITHA:
He--He is handsome,
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and he can be charming,
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but generally,
he's impossible.
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You know,
last night I gave him
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a terrific book to read,
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00:02:45,150 --> 00:02:47,150
it's that new bestseller,
"Power Through Niceness".
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But I'm sure it won't help.
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I got to run. See you later.
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Yeah, yeah, Murray.
I heard it all before.
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00:02:55,230 --> 00:02:57,060
Murray, how long
you've been an agent,
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00:02:57,100 --> 00:02:57,210
20 minutes?
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00:02:58,030 --> 00:02:59,210
Now, Murray, no way.
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I'm not going to have
that has-been on my show.
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Arrogant?
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Self-centered?
Egomaniac?
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[WHISPERING]
We'll see about that.
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Well, who do you think
I'm callin' a has-been?
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That ex-TV cowboy
you represent, that's who.
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The mirror spell
I cast on Paul!
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MINERVA:
When he looks,
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he's in its power.
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00:03:28,150 --> 00:03:32,110
Mr. Nice Guy
he'll become,
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00:03:32,170 --> 00:03:34,000
each time
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for exactly
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one hour.
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And let me tell you
somethin' else, Murray...
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anytime you want good ol'
Tex
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00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:50,220
to be on the show,
just say so, Murray.
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[LAUGHS]
Bus fare?
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Murray, I'll send him
a plane ticket.
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Would like me to pick him up
at the airport?
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00:04:01,210 --> 00:04:04,160
[♪♪♪]
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00:04:04,220 --> 00:04:06,060
Mrs. Winkler,
of course Mr.
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Thurston
supports the Girl Scouts.
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00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:10,090
I don't think
he'd want to interview one
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00:04:10,130 --> 00:04:11,120
on his show though.
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00:04:11,180 --> 00:04:13,230
Well, it's just not his style.
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[PAUL WHISTLING]
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[ZAPS]
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TABITHA:
Oh, I'm glad you understand,
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Mrs. Winkler.
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Oh, absolutely.
You be prepared, too.
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Thank you. Bye.
What's that all about?
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00:04:29,010 --> 00:04:31,040
The Girl Scouts called,
and they wanted you to--
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00:04:31,100 --> 00:04:32,090
Hey, terrific.
I'm thinkin'
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00:04:32,130 --> 00:04:33,230
about doin' a special
on Girl Scouts.
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Here.
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Two of the cutest
little Girl Scouts
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you ever saw
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were out front selling these.
I just couldn't resist.
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You bought all of these?
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00:04:40,230 --> 00:04:42,020
Well, you know
what they say, Tab,
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"Cast your cookies
upon the water."
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00:04:44,110 --> 00:04:45,180
Well, that's great, Paul,
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00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:47,150
but...well, it's just
so unlike you.
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00:04:47,210 --> 00:04:49,060
You know, you're right.
It must be
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00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:52,090
this book you gave me,
"Power Through Niceness".
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00:04:52,150 --> 00:04:54,000
Well, it sure works fast.
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00:04:54,060 --> 00:04:56,010
I read the whole thing
in bed last night.
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00:04:56,070 --> 00:04:57,210
You were in bed alone?
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00:04:58,030 --> 00:04:59,160
Reading?
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00:04:59,220 --> 00:05:01,110
You know, at first
I thought it was dumb,
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00:05:01,170 --> 00:05:03,100
and then this morning
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00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:04,050
I was standing
in front of the mirror
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thinking about it,
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00:05:04,230 --> 00:05:06,060
and suddenly
it all made sense.
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I felt warm, wonderful.
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00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:11,050
I can't thank you enough
for giving me this book.
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00:05:11,110 --> 00:05:14,080
Oh, I can't get over
the change.
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00:05:14,140 --> 00:05:17,010
Listen, what do you say
the two of us celebrate?
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The new me and the old you,
we'll have dinner
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together tonight?
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00:05:19,210 --> 00:05:21,160
Well, I'd like that.
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00:05:27,140 --> 00:05:28,220
I had
a terrific evening, Paul.
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Yeah. Me, too.
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Well, guess
I'll be goin' on home.
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00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:34,150
Thanks a lot.
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00:05:34,210 --> 00:05:36,070
Well, wouldn't you like
to come in for a minute?
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00:05:36,130 --> 00:05:37,150
Oh, no. I really shouldn't.
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00:05:37,210 --> 00:05:39,180
It's, uh, it's almost 11:00.
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00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:41,020
Oh, come on in
for a minute.
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00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:42,100
Are you sure it's okay?
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I'm positive.
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Well, okay.
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PAUL: It sure was
a terrific dinner, wasn't it?
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00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:51,200
It sure was. And what
an unusual restaurant.
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00:05:52,020 --> 00:05:53,190
Oh, The Hall of Mirrors?
I go there all the time.
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Everywhere you look
you see a reflection
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of yourself.
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00:05:56,030 --> 00:05:57,110
And I can't get over the way
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00:05:57,170 --> 00:05:59,140
you picked up that check
for that party of nine.
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00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:01,090
You know,
they looked like nice people.
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00:06:01,150 --> 00:06:03,150
Why don't you, uh,
make yourself comfortable?
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00:06:03,210 --> 00:06:05,070
Oh, okay.
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00:06:05,130 --> 00:06:06,230
Would you like
a cup of coffee,
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00:06:07,030 --> 00:06:07,190
or a brandy?
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00:06:08,010 --> 00:06:09,060
Well, maybe
just a short brandy.
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00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:11,060
I--I really can't stay
too long.
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PAUL:
This is really
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nice of you, Tab.
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[ZAPS]
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[WHISPERING]
Minerva, butt out!
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Gee, that was fast.
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00:06:23,130 --> 00:06:25,190
I'll, uh, put on some music.
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Oh, yes, some music
would be nice.
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[EXCLAIMS]
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How did you do that?
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[LOUNGE MUSIC PLAYING
OVER SPEAKERS]
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Uh, remote control.
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00:06:34,140 --> 00:06:36,030
Would you like to dance?
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00:06:36,090 --> 00:06:39,110
Well, I--I really should be,
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00:06:39,170 --> 00:06:41,030
uh, going.
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00:06:41,090 --> 00:06:44,010
Oh, come on, Paul.
There's no school tomorrow.
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[GULPS]
Okay.
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00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:48,030
Well, you can hold me
a little closer
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if you'd like.
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Come on, Tabitha.
What kind of a guy
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do you think I am?
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I mean, just because
I--I popped for
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an expensive dinner,
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00:06:53,210 --> 00:06:55,200
doesn't mean I'm gonna
try to cash in on it.
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00:06:56,020 --> 00:06:58,050
Paul, I don't know
what's come over you,
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00:06:58,110 --> 00:07:02,030
but whatever it is,
I, uh, I kind of like it.
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00:07:04,150 --> 00:07:06,160
Sure is getting hot
in here.
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00:07:10,090 --> 00:07:11,130
How did you do that?
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00:07:11,190 --> 00:07:13,070
Oh, well,
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00:07:13,130 --> 00:07:15,020
the hands are quicker
than the eyes.
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00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:17,200
Would you, uh,
excuse me a minute?
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00:07:18,020 --> 00:07:19,030
Sure.
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00:07:22,080 --> 00:07:23,100
[SIGHS]
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00:07:23,160 --> 00:07:24,200
Minerva!
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00:07:27,150 --> 00:07:30,170
Here. Just in case
you get him to stay.
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00:07:30,230 --> 00:07:32,200
Minerva,
I don't need your help.
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00:07:33,020 --> 00:07:34,190
Of course you do.
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00:07:35,010 --> 00:07:36,220
For one thing,
this is the way to dress
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00:07:37,020 --> 00:07:38,090
for a romantic evening.
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00:07:40,100 --> 00:07:43,060
Now, that's more like it.
Yeah.
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00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:44,210
Minerva,
I've seen centerfolds
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00:07:45,010 --> 00:07:46,060
wearing more than this.
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-PAUL: Tabitha.
-[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
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Tabitha,
who are you talking to?
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00:07:50,190 --> 00:07:52,030
Oh, my goodness.
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00:07:52,090 --> 00:07:53,200
Paul, I can explain this,
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00:07:54,020 --> 00:07:56,030
if you'll give me
two or three days.
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00:07:56,090 --> 00:07:59,160
Tabitha, I've--I've never seen
this side of you before.
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00:07:59,220 --> 00:08:02,080
I've never seen this much
of you before either.
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00:08:02,140 --> 00:08:05,040
I'd better get out of here.
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00:08:05,100 --> 00:08:07,000
It's locked.
Tabitha, please.
217
00:08:07,060 --> 00:08:08,110
You have a reputation
to maintain.
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00:08:08,170 --> 00:08:10,040
Paul, I'm sorry.
219
00:08:11,100 --> 00:08:13,020
[DOORKNOB RATTLING]
220
00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:16,070
[SHOUTS]
Move!
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00:08:16,130 --> 00:08:18,150
Tabitha, are you all right?
Yeah, I'm fine, Paul.
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00:08:18,210 --> 00:08:20,130
I didn't mean to knock you
on the bed, I swear.
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00:08:20,190 --> 00:08:22,020
Oh, it's--it's okay.
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00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:23,100
Okay, don't move.
225
00:08:23,160 --> 00:08:24,220
I'm going to get up
and get out
226
00:08:25,040 --> 00:08:28,020
and then, uh, you can get up
and get dressed.
227
00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:29,100
Oh, boy.
228
00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:31,150
Well, maybe it's probably
a fuse.
229
00:08:31,210 --> 00:08:34,000
And I'm about
to blow one of my own.
230
00:08:34,060 --> 00:08:35,200
Goodbye, Tabitha.
231
00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:39,150
[SIGHS]
232
00:08:39,210 --> 00:08:41,170
Goodbye, Paul.
233
00:08:41,230 --> 00:08:43,000
OSCAR: I'll tell you,
man, pro basketball
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00:08:43,040 --> 00:08:43,170
is a tough game.
235
00:08:43,230 --> 00:08:45,130
Real tough game.
They want me to play,
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00:08:45,170 --> 00:08:46,140
they gotta pay me.
237
00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:48,210
Well, Oscar, uh,
how much are you asking?
238
00:08:49,030 --> 00:08:50,190
$350,000.
239
00:08:51,010 --> 00:08:52,010
[CHUCKLING]
$350,000.
240
00:08:52,050 --> 00:08:53,120
That's a lot of money.
241
00:08:53,180 --> 00:08:55,010
But that's for
the whole season.
242
00:08:55,070 --> 00:08:56,220
Well, that's, you know,
still a lot of money.
243
00:08:57,040 --> 00:08:58,230
I bet you don't make
that kind of money?
244
00:08:59,050 --> 00:09:01,150
Me. Well, no, no, no.
245
00:09:01,210 --> 00:09:03,100
You're not worth it.
246
00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:05,110
Well, you're probably right.
247
00:09:05,170 --> 00:09:07,120
Paul's letting this guy
slam-dunk his head
248
00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:08,150
all over the studio.
249
00:09:08,210 --> 00:09:10,120
Well, now, wait a minute,
I know Paul.
250
00:09:10,180 --> 00:09:12,150
He must be leading him
into something.
251
00:09:12,210 --> 00:09:15,200
Oscar, uh,
just one more question.
252
00:09:16,020 --> 00:09:17,110
Forget it, man.
I don't even know why
253
00:09:17,150 --> 00:09:18,160
I'm on this crummy show.
254
00:09:18,220 --> 00:09:22,190
I never liked it
and I never liked you, turkey!
255
00:09:23,020 --> 00:09:24,050
PAUL:
Thank you, Oscar,
256
00:09:24,090 --> 00:09:25,220
for your candid comments.
257
00:09:26,040 --> 00:09:27,230
Well, uh,
thanks for coming.
258
00:09:29,220 --> 00:09:32,200
Well, folks, that leaves us
with about 25 minutes.
259
00:09:33,020 --> 00:09:36,070
Now what should
we talk about? Heh.
260
00:09:36,130 --> 00:09:38,220
I admit
Paul was a little laid-back.
261
00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:40,140
Laid-back?
262
00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:43,210
The man had size 14 footprints
all over his face.
263
00:09:44,030 --> 00:09:47,060
Marvin, this is all my fault.
264
00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:50,060
I gave Paul a book,
"Power Through Niceness",
265
00:09:50,120 --> 00:09:52,100
I think he OD'd on it.
266
00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:56,160
Why would you do
a thing like that?
267
00:09:56,220 --> 00:09:58,190
I thought
it might do him some good,
268
00:09:59,010 --> 00:10:00,170
you know, make him
a little more mellow.
269
00:10:00,230 --> 00:10:02,090
Marshmallow, you mean.
270
00:10:02,150 --> 00:10:04,000
You took
the great white shark
271
00:10:04,060 --> 00:10:05,210
and turned him
into a jellyfish.
272
00:10:07,030 --> 00:10:09,050
I want my shark back!
273
00:10:09,110 --> 00:10:10,140
[BANGS TABLE]
274
00:10:14,230 --> 00:10:16,150
You know, if Aunt Minerva
hadn't given me
275
00:10:16,190 --> 00:10:17,150
her witch's honor
276
00:10:17,210 --> 00:10:18,220
not to meddle,
277
00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:20,200
I'd swear
Paul had a spell on him.
278
00:10:21,020 --> 00:10:23,010
Yeah, me, too.
But it could be the book.
279
00:10:23,070 --> 00:10:24,150
You know,
Paul is into every fad
280
00:10:24,190 --> 00:10:25,160
that comes around.
281
00:10:25,220 --> 00:10:28,010
Who knows, in a few days,
he maybe into Indian jewelry.
282
00:10:28,070 --> 00:10:29,120
Well, we don't have
a few days.
283
00:10:29,180 --> 00:10:31,010
You heard what Marvin said.
284
00:10:31,070 --> 00:10:33,220
We've got to get
the old Paul back now.
285
00:10:38,210 --> 00:10:40,030
PAUL:
Uh, Vera,
286
00:10:40,090 --> 00:10:41,180
what are those people
doing at my table?
287
00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:43,010
I didn't know
you were coming.
288
00:10:43,070 --> 00:10:45,140
I don't care,
that's my table.
289
00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:46,210
There are plenty
of other tables,
290
00:10:47,010 --> 00:10:47,140
Mr. Thurston.
291
00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:49,080
PAUL:
Well, tell them that.
292
00:10:49,140 --> 00:10:51,160
I'll be over there waiting
while you get rid of 'em.
293
00:10:51,220 --> 00:10:52,180
[EXCLAIMS]
294
00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:54,100
It's my table.
295
00:11:00,130 --> 00:11:02,170
It'll just be a minute.
I asked them to move.
296
00:11:02,230 --> 00:11:04,000
Oh, don't be silly.
297
00:11:04,060 --> 00:11:05,180
There are
plenty of other tables.
298
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:08,050
But you just said--
Oh, I know,
299
00:11:08,110 --> 00:11:10,000
and it was silly
and childish of me
300
00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:10,180
and stupid,
301
00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:12,060
and I-I'm sorry.
302
00:11:12,120 --> 00:11:14,230
I'll just go sit
somewhere else, it's okay.
303
00:11:15,050 --> 00:11:17,030
It's all right, really.
304
00:11:17,090 --> 00:11:19,060
I'll just go over here.
305
00:11:22,050 --> 00:11:23,140
Now, remember, teamwork.
306
00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:25,040
You insult him
and I'll provoke him.
307
00:11:25,100 --> 00:11:27,130
Gotcha.
I just hope it works.
308
00:11:31,010 --> 00:11:32,050
Hi.
309
00:11:32,110 --> 00:11:33,140
Hi, Paul.
Would you like to join us?
310
00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:35,010
Well, if you sure
it's all right?
311
00:11:35,070 --> 00:11:36,110
Sure.
You're sure?
312
00:11:36,170 --> 00:11:37,190
Sure.
313
00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:42,190
Would you like
your usual, Mr. Thurston?
314
00:11:43,010 --> 00:11:44,130
Oh, yeah, that'll be fine.
315
00:11:44,190 --> 00:11:46,230
And if you don't have that,
anything you're long on.
316
00:11:48,090 --> 00:11:50,090
Isn't she nice?
317
00:11:50,150 --> 00:11:52,090
Well, listen,
I made a reservation for 8:00.
318
00:11:52,150 --> 00:11:53,120
So I'll pick you up
about 7:00.
319
00:11:53,180 --> 00:11:55,070
Oh,I--I don't think so, Paul.
320
00:11:55,130 --> 00:11:56,140
Why not?
321
00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:58,180
Um, I'm canceling
our dinner date.
322
00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:00,230
Why, aren't you feeling well?
323
00:12:01,050 --> 00:12:03,110
Well, actually,
I--I feel marvelous.
324
00:12:03,170 --> 00:12:05,140
You see, I, uh,
I met this guy in the hall
325
00:12:05,180 --> 00:12:06,150
a few minutes ago,
326
00:12:06,210 --> 00:12:09,110
and, well, he really kind of
knocked me off my feet.
327
00:12:09,170 --> 00:12:11,170
It's always nice
to meet new friends.
328
00:12:13,020 --> 00:12:14,080
So I'm canceling you
329
00:12:14,140 --> 00:12:16,030
and going out with him.
330
00:12:16,090 --> 00:12:18,080
Well, I appreciate
you letting me know.
331
00:12:18,140 --> 00:12:20,110
He's taller than you are,
332
00:12:20,170 --> 00:12:22,170
stronger, and lots handsomer.
333
00:12:22,230 --> 00:12:24,040
Can't fight that.
334
00:12:24,100 --> 00:12:26,160
What about tomorrow night?
Tomorrow night?
335
00:12:26,220 --> 00:12:28,190
Uh, well,
if things work out tonight
336
00:12:28,230 --> 00:12:29,230
between me and...
337
00:12:30,050 --> 00:12:31,110
what's his name,
338
00:12:31,170 --> 00:12:33,020
I'll--I'll probably
just stick with him.
339
00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:35,140
Well, you kids
have a good time.
340
00:12:38,020 --> 00:12:39,080
Oh, good.
341
00:12:41,130 --> 00:12:42,090
Dressing?
342
00:12:42,150 --> 00:12:43,190
PAUL:
Ah, yes, please.
343
00:12:44,010 --> 00:12:45,140
[TWINKLING]
344
00:12:59,170 --> 00:13:02,010
That's fine, thanks.
345
00:13:02,070 --> 00:13:03,200
Oh, my goodness!
346
00:13:04,020 --> 00:13:05,120
I'm sorry.
347
00:13:05,180 --> 00:13:06,190
I don't know
why I did that.
348
00:13:07,010 --> 00:13:09,090
It's no problem.
No problem at all.
349
00:13:09,150 --> 00:13:11,190
Paul, that's
your favorite jacket.
350
00:13:12,010 --> 00:13:13,130
Well, it could have been
a lot worse.
351
00:13:13,190 --> 00:13:15,010
It could have been
Green Goddess.
352
00:13:15,070 --> 00:13:17,010
And green doesn't go
with blue.
353
00:13:17,070 --> 00:13:19,210
Excuse me,
I'll just go rinse off.
354
00:13:22,070 --> 00:13:24,070
That isn't nice.
That's nuts.
355
00:13:24,130 --> 00:13:26,020
You're absolutely right.
356
00:13:26,080 --> 00:13:28,040
That's no book
making him that way.
357
00:13:28,100 --> 00:13:29,220
He's under a spell.
358
00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:33,140
And witch's honor or not,
I know who's behind it.
359
00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:35,120
BOTH:
Aunt Minerva.
360
00:13:49,180 --> 00:13:50,210
[SIGHS]
361
00:13:51,030 --> 00:13:53,020
Minerva,
I'm gonna count to three,
362
00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:55,000
and if you want
to remain my favorite aunt,
363
00:13:55,060 --> 00:13:56,200
you'd better pop down here
right now
364
00:13:57,020 --> 00:13:59,150
and tell me what kind of spell
you put on Paul.
365
00:13:59,210 --> 00:14:02,120
One, two, three.
366
00:14:05,230 --> 00:14:08,050
Would it help
if I counted to six?
367
00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:10,200
I didn't think so.
368
00:14:11,020 --> 00:14:13,000
Well, forget it.
I'll find out myself.
369
00:14:14,150 --> 00:14:16,000
[DOORBELL RINGS]
370
00:14:17,050 --> 00:14:19,110
[EXHALES]
Hey, Tab.
371
00:14:19,170 --> 00:14:20,060
Oh, hi, Paul.
I, uh,
372
00:14:20,100 --> 00:14:21,230
brought some background
on tonight's show.
373
00:14:22,050 --> 00:14:23,200
Hey, good, I like
what you brought over, huh?
374
00:14:24,020 --> 00:14:25,110
You're joggin'
every day now?
375
00:14:25,170 --> 00:14:28,100
Yeah. An hour and a half.
I'm up to three blocks.
376
00:14:30,210 --> 00:14:32,120
[CHUCKLING]
377
00:14:32,180 --> 00:14:33,220
[SIGHS]
378
00:14:42,050 --> 00:14:45,050
Paul, is this statue new?
I've never seen it before.
379
00:14:45,110 --> 00:14:47,190
Oh, that's because
it used to be in the bedroom.
380
00:14:48,010 --> 00:14:50,080
You know, there are
a lot of things in my bedroom
381
00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:51,190
you've never seen before.
382
00:14:52,010 --> 00:14:53,140
[CHUCKLES]
Well, it's nice
383
00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:55,110
to have the old Paul back.
384
00:14:55,170 --> 00:14:57,110
Listen, I have
a confession to make.
385
00:14:57,150 --> 00:14:57,230
Yeah?
386
00:14:58,050 --> 00:15:00,070
I didn't really
have a date last night.
387
00:15:00,130 --> 00:15:02,100
I just said that because
I thought it might get you
388
00:15:02,140 --> 00:15:03,160
a little hot and bothered.
389
00:15:03,220 --> 00:15:05,200
Well, I'm a little hot
and bothered right now.
390
00:15:06,020 --> 00:15:08,080
Well, it's probably
from all that jogging.
391
00:15:08,140 --> 00:15:10,020
What about this picture?
392
00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:12,080
Forget about the picture.
Picture this for a minute.
393
00:15:12,140 --> 00:15:13,220
Two healthy,
attractive, people
394
00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:16,180
alone
in a comfortable place,
395
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,120
my place.
396
00:15:18,180 --> 00:15:21,010
You know I've got a shower
with a nozzle setting
397
00:15:21,070 --> 00:15:23,090
called
Monsoon in the Tropics.
398
00:15:23,150 --> 00:15:25,030
Eh, is it new?
399
00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:27,200
No, I've had it
about, oh, three months.
400
00:15:29,020 --> 00:15:30,120
What about that lamp?
401
00:15:30,180 --> 00:15:32,120
Take it, it's yours.
402
00:15:37,150 --> 00:15:39,060
Mm, not bad, huh?
403
00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:41,090
Scratchy, but not bad.
404
00:15:41,150 --> 00:15:42,200
"Scratchy?"
405
00:15:43,020 --> 00:15:44,140
Well, and I'll just take
a quick shave
406
00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:46,070
and then I'll...
407
00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:51,110
Then I'll throw myself
in a cold shower.
408
00:15:51,170 --> 00:15:53,160
Tabitha, I'm sorry,
I've been acting
409
00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:54,190
like an animal.
410
00:15:55,010 --> 00:15:56,110
Oh, uh, Paul,
has this mirror
411
00:15:56,150 --> 00:15:57,140
always been here?
412
00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:59,060
Oh, sure.
But that's not important.
413
00:15:59,120 --> 00:16:01,050
Tab, I want to apologize
for what I just tried to do.
414
00:16:01,110 --> 00:16:02,180
It'll-- It'll never
happen again.
415
00:16:02,220 --> 00:16:03,100
Believe me.
416
00:16:03,160 --> 00:16:04,200
Don't worry about it.
If it wasn't all right
417
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:05,180
I would've stopped you.
418
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:08,190
Tabitha, something strange
is happening here.
419
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:09,120
I know.
420
00:16:09,180 --> 00:16:11,110
How would you know?
It's going on inside my head.
421
00:16:11,170 --> 00:16:13,060
Sometimes I feel like myself,
422
00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:16,070
and--and other times
I--I feel like I do now,
423
00:16:16,130 --> 00:16:18,160
giving, un-unselfish,
424
00:16:18,220 --> 00:16:21,040
at peace, almost saintly.
425
00:16:21,100 --> 00:16:22,180
And when I feel like this,
426
00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:25,070
I realize what a rotten jerk
my old self is.
427
00:16:25,130 --> 00:16:29,040
Oh, Paul,
I--I feel just awful.
428
00:16:29,100 --> 00:16:31,170
What do you feel awful?
You didn't have
429
00:16:31,210 --> 00:16:33,020
anything to do it.
430
00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:34,140
Look at all this.
431
00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:37,060
Glut, decadence!
432
00:16:37,120 --> 00:16:39,070
You know, there's
nothing more decadent
433
00:16:39,110 --> 00:16:40,130
than crushed velvet.
434
00:16:40,190 --> 00:16:42,160
I don't need all this.
I don't need any of this!
435
00:16:42,220 --> 00:16:44,150
But there are
a lot of needy people
436
00:16:44,190 --> 00:16:46,000
in this world who do.
437
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:50,090
Take a credit card,
any card, Tab.
438
00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:55,050
Paul, you don't know
what you're doing.
439
00:16:55,110 --> 00:16:57,190
I'm sure in an hour from now,
you'll change your mind.
440
00:16:58,010 --> 00:17:00,040
No way. Take one
last look around, Tab.
441
00:17:00,100 --> 00:17:02,070
Because by tomorrow,
everything you see here
442
00:17:02,110 --> 00:17:03,060
goes to charity.
443
00:17:03,130 --> 00:17:04,200
[♪♪♪]
444
00:17:09,150 --> 00:17:10,230
Okay, fellas, move it out.
445
00:17:11,050 --> 00:17:13,020
The orphanage needs it
a lot more than I do.
446
00:17:13,080 --> 00:17:14,150
Now, listen, fella,
I've got a closet full
447
00:17:14,210 --> 00:17:16,200
of Cashmere sport coats.
So help yourself, huh?
448
00:17:17,020 --> 00:17:18,140
Gee, thanks, pal.
449
00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:21,170
Oh, hi, Tab.
Paul, what are you doing?
450
00:17:21,230 --> 00:17:24,150
I--I thought you were kidding
about giving everything away.
451
00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:26,160
Help yourself, Tab.
And better be quick about it.
452
00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:27,120
It's goin' fast.
453
00:17:27,180 --> 00:17:30,070
Hey, thanks again.
It fits me perfect.
454
00:17:30,130 --> 00:17:32,120
Maybe you got a nice shirt
to go with it?
455
00:17:32,180 --> 00:17:34,030
Top left drawer.
456
00:17:36,110 --> 00:17:38,110
What about that?
You givin' that away, too?
457
00:17:38,170 --> 00:17:40,010
Whatever isn't nailed down.
458
00:17:40,070 --> 00:17:41,110
Thanks.
459
00:17:44,030 --> 00:17:45,120
Paul, you're--
You're giving away
460
00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:46,190
your favorite antique?
461
00:17:47,010 --> 00:17:48,140
That's a genuine Ming vase.
462
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:51,060
Tabitha, don't you know
you get the most satisfaction
463
00:17:51,120 --> 00:17:53,130
out of giving away something
you really care about?
464
00:17:55,130 --> 00:17:58,050
Mirror spells, mirror spells.
465
00:17:58,110 --> 00:18:00,020
What are you wasting
your time for?
466
00:18:00,060 --> 00:18:01,060
You know
a witch can't remove
467
00:18:01,100 --> 00:18:02,080
another witch's spell.
468
00:18:02,140 --> 00:18:04,160
Mm, you're right.
I was just looking
469
00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:05,190
for loopholes.
470
00:18:07,030 --> 00:18:09,110
Ah, pepperoni.
471
00:18:09,170 --> 00:18:11,100
Did you know
it's just impossible
472
00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:14,120
to get pizza in Rome
in 500 BC?
473
00:18:14,180 --> 00:18:15,200
So that's where you've been.
474
00:18:16,020 --> 00:18:17,100
No wonder
I couldn't reach you.
475
00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:19,190
Mm. I was at
the Circus Maximus.
476
00:18:20,010 --> 00:18:21,210
When I left,
it was Lions 28,
477
00:18:22,010 --> 00:18:23,090
Gladiators nothing.
478
00:18:23,150 --> 00:18:25,090
Minerva,
I am furious with you.
479
00:18:25,150 --> 00:18:27,070
You promised me,
witch's honor, you
480
00:18:27,110 --> 00:18:28,080
wouldn't meddle.
481
00:18:28,140 --> 00:18:30,100
I didn't break my vow.
482
00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:32,190
I cast a spell on the mirror,
not Paul.
483
00:18:33,010 --> 00:18:34,220
-It was worth it, wasn't it?
-Do you realize
484
00:18:35,040 --> 00:18:36,190
what you've done
to that poor man?
485
00:18:37,010 --> 00:18:40,080
He's so nice, he's given away
all his worldly possessions.
486
00:18:40,140 --> 00:18:41,210
Albert Schweitzer
gave away everything
487
00:18:42,010 --> 00:18:42,150
but his organ,
488
00:18:42,210 --> 00:18:45,040
but nobody complained.
You don't understand.
489
00:18:45,100 --> 00:18:46,190
He doesn't have
a stick of furniture
490
00:18:46,230 --> 00:18:47,230
left in his apartment.
491
00:18:48,050 --> 00:18:49,090
Perfect.
492
00:18:49,150 --> 00:18:51,140
Then he can move
right in here with you.
493
00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:55,080
You wanted Mr. Nice Guy.
That's who I delivered.
494
00:18:55,140 --> 00:18:57,000
Hey, that's my dinner!
495
00:18:57,060 --> 00:18:59,050
Aunt Minerva, it's not working
this way, either.
496
00:18:59,110 --> 00:19:01,120
TABITHA:
Paul still isn't my type.
497
00:19:01,180 --> 00:19:03,000
The way you've changed him,
498
00:19:03,060 --> 00:19:06,010
he'd be a great date
for Mary Poppins.
499
00:19:06,070 --> 00:19:07,180
Oh, that's the thanks
I get for trying
500
00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:09,140
to put a little romance
into your life,
501
00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:11,210
a little dolce in your vita?
502
00:19:12,030 --> 00:19:14,210
I'd thank you
to stay out of my vita.
503
00:19:15,030 --> 00:19:18,080
Now I want you to take
that spell off Paul right now!
504
00:19:22,150 --> 00:19:25,180
I am not going to stand here
and take this abuse.
505
00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:27,050
Goodbye.
506
00:19:28,180 --> 00:19:30,090
Aunt Minerva, come back here!
507
00:19:30,150 --> 00:19:31,210
The spell.
508
00:19:32,030 --> 00:19:34,090
Minerva, come back here!
509
00:19:38,020 --> 00:19:39,140
Did you remove the mirror
from his dressing room?
510
00:19:39,180 --> 00:19:39,230
Check.
511
00:19:40,050 --> 00:19:41,130
And what about the one
in his office?
512
00:19:41,190 --> 00:19:42,050
Check.
TABITHA:
513
00:19:42,090 --> 00:19:43,040
Good.
And I can see
514
00:19:43,100 --> 00:19:46,020
you took care of the one
on the dressing table.
515
00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:47,150
We're on the air
in a couple of minutes.
516
00:19:47,190 --> 00:19:48,100
Where's Paul, hm?
517
00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:50,030
He should be here
any second,
518
00:19:50,090 --> 00:19:51,220
and I'm sure you're getting
your old shark back.
519
00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:53,150
Well, I hope so.
He called,
520
00:19:53,210 --> 00:19:55,150
said not to book anybody.
He's bringing the guest.
521
00:19:57,130 --> 00:19:58,140
Hey, what the heck happened
522
00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:00,070
to all the mirrors
around here?
523
00:20:00,130 --> 00:20:02,060
Oh, I'm sorry, Paul.
But they're all out of order.
524
00:20:02,120 --> 00:20:04,190
Oh, that's all right.
Fortunately, I always
525
00:20:04,230 --> 00:20:05,200
carry a spare.
526
00:20:06,020 --> 00:20:07,000
Paul, we're about
to go on the air
527
00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:07,180
in a few minutes,
528
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:09,000
where's the guest
you said you'd booked?
529
00:20:09,060 --> 00:20:10,160
Wait till you meet her, Marv.
530
00:20:10,220 --> 00:20:12,200
She's the most exciting,
dynamic woman I've ever met.
531
00:20:15,040 --> 00:20:16,120
Everyone,
I want you to meet
532
00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:17,140
Sister Rosalind.
533
00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:20,000
Hello, Sister.
How do you do?
534
00:20:20,060 --> 00:20:21,100
Not only
is she going to be my guest
535
00:20:21,140 --> 00:20:22,070
on tonight's show,
536
00:20:22,130 --> 00:20:24,150
but starting tomorrow,
she's going to be my new boss.
537
00:20:24,210 --> 00:20:26,220
She bought the station?
No, silly.
538
00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:28,150
Tonight after the show,
I'm announcing
539
00:20:28,210 --> 00:20:30,120
that Sister Rosalind and I
are going to be doing
540
00:20:30,180 --> 00:20:32,210
missionary work together
in Red China.
541
00:20:35,090 --> 00:20:37,060
Paul, you're crazy.
No offense, Sister.
542
00:20:37,120 --> 00:20:39,010
I mean, Red China
is important and all that,
543
00:20:39,070 --> 00:20:41,010
but this is
big time television.
544
00:20:41,070 --> 00:20:43,220
Well, I'm sorry, Marv.
I've made up my mind.
545
00:20:44,040 --> 00:20:45,190
But Paul,
you don't look good
546
00:20:45,230 --> 00:20:47,090
in a robe and sandals.
547
00:20:47,150 --> 00:20:48,160
[SIGHS]
What do we do now?
548
00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:49,090
We're sunk.
549
00:20:49,150 --> 00:20:51,060
I'll be right back.
550
00:20:51,120 --> 00:20:54,140
As soon as I have a little talk
with the torpedo who did this.
551
00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:58,180
One for you...
552
00:20:59,000 --> 00:20:59,230
[CHUCKLES]
553
00:21:00,050 --> 00:21:02,150
And one for me.
554
00:21:05,020 --> 00:21:06,210
And one for both of us.
555
00:21:07,030 --> 00:21:08,030
Mm.
556
00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:18,080
Oh, I better not eat
any more of these.
557
00:21:18,140 --> 00:21:19,160
They go right to my hips.
558
00:21:19,220 --> 00:21:21,050
[LAUGHING]
559
00:21:23,110 --> 00:21:24,230
[TWINKLING]
560
00:21:26,010 --> 00:21:27,210
Ahh!
561
00:21:28,030 --> 00:21:29,120
Ahh! What--
What is this?
562
00:21:29,180 --> 00:21:31,010
Oh, hell.
563
00:21:31,070 --> 00:21:32,220
Something you're going
to have to live with...
564
00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:34,070
[LAUGHING]
...until you take the spell
565
00:21:34,110 --> 00:21:34,220
off of Paul.
566
00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:36,140
That's the price you pay
for meddling.
567
00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:37,220
Don't look now, Minerva,
568
00:21:38,040 --> 00:21:39,050
but I think
your shoulders slipped.
569
00:21:39,110 --> 00:21:41,040
Knock it off, Claudius.
570
00:21:41,100 --> 00:21:44,080
Tabitha,
how could you do this to me?
571
00:21:44,140 --> 00:21:45,130
Easy.
Just as easy
572
00:21:45,170 --> 00:21:48,080
as you putting
that mirror spell on Paul.
573
00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:50,090
And your hips will come off
when the spell does.
574
00:21:50,150 --> 00:21:52,030
TABITHA:
Oh, and while you're at it,
575
00:21:52,090 --> 00:21:54,010
zap his furniture back
in his apartment.
576
00:21:54,070 --> 00:21:57,010
I hate being out-witched.
577
00:21:57,070 --> 00:21:58,180
But worse than that,
578
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:01,020
I hate to look
like a cross-town bus.
579
00:22:02,110 --> 00:22:05,000
All right, all right, you win.
580
00:22:05,060 --> 00:22:06,210
I'll take it off.
581
00:22:08,180 --> 00:22:09,190
[TWINKLING]
582
00:22:12,070 --> 00:22:13,050
[LAUGHING]
583
00:22:13,110 --> 00:22:14,210
[SIGHS]
584
00:22:15,030 --> 00:22:16,220
Now you're gonna have
your old Paul back.
585
00:22:17,040 --> 00:22:18,080
Thanks.
586
00:22:18,140 --> 00:22:21,030
Oh! No, Minerva,
I meant after the show.
587
00:22:21,090 --> 00:22:23,220
Sorry, it's too late.
588
00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:27,150
Oh, Sister Rosalind,
589
00:22:27,210 --> 00:22:29,070
your flower garden
back in Peking
590
00:22:29,110 --> 00:22:30,120
sounds just heavenly.
591
00:22:30,180 --> 00:22:32,220
Heh. Do you love
snap dragons, Paul?
592
00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:35,010
[ZAPS]
593
00:22:35,070 --> 00:22:37,150
Snap dragons?
What are we talkin' about
594
00:22:37,190 --> 00:22:38,230
snap dragons for?
595
00:22:39,050 --> 00:22:40,120
I suppose some of you think
596
00:22:40,180 --> 00:22:42,080
because I've gotta nun
on the show,
597
00:22:42,140 --> 00:22:44,190
I'm gonna take it easy on her.
Well, you're wrong.
598
00:22:45,010 --> 00:22:47,040
She just came back
from Red China,
599
00:22:47,100 --> 00:22:48,190
and either she gives us
hard news,
600
00:22:49,010 --> 00:22:50,160
or I give her a hard time.
601
00:22:50,220 --> 00:22:53,190
'Cause that's the way it is
on The Paul Thurston Show.
602
00:22:54,010 --> 00:22:55,160
Paul's going straight
for the sweet little
603
00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:56,110
lady's throat.
604
00:22:56,170 --> 00:22:58,010
I love it.
605
00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:01,110
PAUL:
Our guests
606
00:23:01,150 --> 00:23:03,140
have the right to be...
607
00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:04,180
[WHISPERING]
What happened?
608
00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:06,030
Minerva took the spell off.
609
00:23:06,090 --> 00:23:07,200
So, you still wanna be
on the show
610
00:23:08,020 --> 00:23:10,000
or would you rather go back
to Red China, Sister?
611
00:23:10,060 --> 00:23:11,220
Boy, are we gonna get letters.
612
00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:13,070
TABITHA:
No, we're not.
613
00:23:13,130 --> 00:23:15,080
Because I got
a little spell of my own
614
00:23:15,140 --> 00:23:17,020
that's gonna make
Sister Rosalind
615
00:23:17,060 --> 00:23:18,160
more than a match for Paul.
616
00:23:18,220 --> 00:23:19,200
[TWINKLING]
617
00:23:20,020 --> 00:23:21,060
[ZAPS]
618
00:23:21,120 --> 00:23:23,220
Mr. Thurston,
I may be a nun,
619
00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:27,110
but when the occasion demands,
I'm not always a lady.
620
00:23:27,170 --> 00:23:28,200
[CHUCKLING]
621
00:23:29,020 --> 00:23:30,150
Sister Rosie,
I like your spirit.
622
00:23:30,210 --> 00:23:32,070
Well,
I don't like your manners.
623
00:23:32,130 --> 00:23:34,150
Well, look, when all of a sudden
things get going tough,
624
00:23:34,210 --> 00:23:35,230
you want special treatment?
625
00:23:36,050 --> 00:23:37,160
I've spent 30 years
in Red China
626
00:23:37,220 --> 00:23:39,060
and I know aggression
when I see it.
627
00:23:39,120 --> 00:23:40,090
And I see it in you!
628
00:23:40,150 --> 00:23:41,160
So pull in your horns, buster,
629
00:23:41,220 --> 00:23:43,080
and let's have
a civilized discussion,
630
00:23:43,140 --> 00:23:44,170
or you'll get it
in the chops.
631
00:23:44,230 --> 00:23:46,070
Sister Rosalind.
632
00:23:46,130 --> 00:23:47,140
Come on,
take your jacket off.
633
00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:49,020
You want it here
or in the alley?
634
00:23:49,080 --> 00:23:50,020
[SNICKERS]
635
00:23:50,080 --> 00:23:52,220
You are my kind of lady.
636
00:23:53,040 --> 00:23:54,150
I just don't understand Paul.
637
00:23:54,210 --> 00:23:57,000
How can a person
change like that?
638
00:23:57,060 --> 00:23:58,200
Well, I guess
639
00:23:59,030 --> 00:24:00,070
he just took
a good look at himself
640
00:24:00,110 --> 00:24:01,010
in the mirror.
641
00:24:05,100 --> 00:24:06,130
It's really nice
goin' back
642
00:24:06,190 --> 00:24:08,010
to The Hall of Mirrors
restaurant.
643
00:24:08,070 --> 00:24:09,210
Yeah. And it was even nicer
watching you
644
00:24:10,030 --> 00:24:12,010
send the wine back three times
and argue about the bill.
645
00:24:12,070 --> 00:24:13,170
Well, you gotta show 'em
who's boss.
646
00:24:18,100 --> 00:24:20,080
Uh, it's really great
you could come up
647
00:24:20,120 --> 00:24:21,080
for a nightcap.
648
00:24:21,140 --> 00:24:22,230
Well, I'm curious
to see if you got all
649
00:24:23,030 --> 00:24:24,030
your old furniture back.
650
00:24:24,090 --> 00:24:25,200
Oh, it's not
my old furniture.
651
00:24:26,020 --> 00:24:27,070
It's something
the charity people
652
00:24:27,110 --> 00:24:27,220
sent over.
653
00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:29,120
I guess
they didn't want to leave me
654
00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:30,160
with an empty apartment.
655
00:24:32,150 --> 00:24:34,040
PAUL:
Oh!
656
00:24:36,030 --> 00:24:38,190
It's interesting, huh?
657
00:24:39,010 --> 00:24:40,160
I wonder
what they call this period.
658
00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:44,200
Obviously,
it's Early Minerva.
659
00:24:50,150 --> 00:24:52,090
♪ It could be magic ♪
660
00:24:52,150 --> 00:24:54,010
♪ Ooh, yeah ♪
661
00:24:54,070 --> 00:24:56,130
♪ It could be magic ♪
662
00:24:58,060 --> 00:25:00,120
♪ Come on, baby ♪
663
00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:03,150
♪ Make me fly ♪
664
00:25:05,130 --> 00:25:07,150
♪ Ooh, yeah, honey ♪
665
00:25:08,230 --> 00:25:12,000
♪ I'm sure gonna try ♪
666
00:25:12,060 --> 00:25:14,190
♪ Oh, it could be magic ♪
46173
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