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MALE NARRATOR:
Once upon a time,
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00:00:03,120 --> 00:00:05,170
there was a little girl
named Tabitha.
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00:00:05,210 --> 00:00:09,220
She and her family lived
in a typical American home.
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00:00:10,020 --> 00:00:11,010
There was a mother,
Samantha...
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00:00:11,050 --> 00:00:12,030
[ZAPS]
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00:00:12,070 --> 00:00:13,150
...a father, Darren,
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00:00:13,190 --> 00:00:14,190
[ZAPS]
Little Tabitha,
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00:00:14,230 --> 00:00:16,200
and her brother, Adam.
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00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:18,170
As Tabitha grew older,
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00:00:18,210 --> 00:00:21,180
her parents discovered
that she was a gifted child.
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Book.
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00:00:24,180 --> 00:00:26,100
Quite gifted.
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00:00:27,120 --> 00:00:29,000
But wisely,
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00:00:29,040 --> 00:00:31,020
they didn't pay
a lot of attention to that.
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00:00:31,060 --> 00:00:34,080
And Tabitha grew up
just right,
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00:00:34,120 --> 00:00:37,030
with pigtails and freckles,
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00:00:37,070 --> 00:00:39,230
just like any other
typical American girl.
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00:00:40,030 --> 00:00:41,050
[ZAPS]
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00:00:42,130 --> 00:00:44,000
Uh, almost.
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00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:48,130
[♪♪♪]
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[CAR HORN HONKING]
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00:01:40,220 --> 00:01:42,150
Good morning.
You better hustle, brother.
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We're gonna be late
for work.
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00:01:45,010 --> 00:01:46,080
Thanks for the lift.
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00:01:49,060 --> 00:01:50,090
I really needed
the extra chance
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00:01:50,130 --> 00:01:51,220
to go over
this material again.
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00:01:52,020 --> 00:01:54,070
Oh. More stuff
on weightlifting.
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00:01:54,110 --> 00:01:56,130
I'm impressed.
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00:01:56,170 --> 00:01:57,230
I just hope
the people
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00:01:58,030 --> 00:02:00,080
from Wide World of Sports
are impressed.
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00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:03,150
[SNIFFLING]
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00:02:03,190 --> 00:02:05,060
What's the matter?
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00:02:05,100 --> 00:02:07,000
I don't know.
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00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:08,100
It's-- It's probably
something in the air.
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00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:11,220
Uh-oh.
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00:02:12,020 --> 00:02:12,220
[CAR HORN HONKING]
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00:02:13,020 --> 00:02:14,090
A traffic tie-up.
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00:02:14,130 --> 00:02:16,180
Terrific.
Just what we needed.
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00:02:16,220 --> 00:02:18,120
Well, we're not late yet.
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00:02:18,160 --> 00:02:20,090
Uh--Uh. No witchcraft.
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00:02:20,130 --> 00:02:22,160
Now, there's a way
to handle this situation
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00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:25,060
like a regular,
rational human being.
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00:02:25,100 --> 00:02:26,230
[HONKS]
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00:02:27,030 --> 00:02:29,110
Would you get that truck out
of the way, you stupid jerk?!
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00:02:34,060 --> 00:02:35,110
Uh-oh.
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00:02:35,150 --> 00:02:37,060
You should've let me
use witchcraft.
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00:02:37,100 --> 00:02:38,190
Well, I don't care
what happens,
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00:02:38,230 --> 00:02:40,090
I'm tired of you
being a Lone Ranger
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00:02:40,130 --> 00:02:41,210
every time there is trouble.
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00:02:42,010 --> 00:02:44,150
Yeah, well, what do
we suggest we do now, Tonto?
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00:02:44,190 --> 00:02:46,070
[SNEEZING]
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00:02:46,110 --> 00:02:49,000
Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to do that.
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00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:50,190
Very funny, Kemo Sabe.
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00:02:50,230 --> 00:02:53,040
You wanna change me back?
People are looking.
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00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:54,210
Think you got a bigger problem
right now.
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00:02:55,010 --> 00:02:57,090
Ok, buddy,
you want me move my truck?
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00:02:57,130 --> 00:02:58,230
I'll move my truck
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00:02:59,030 --> 00:03:01,060
as soon as I move your nose
behind your ear.
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00:03:01,100 --> 00:03:03,030
Listen, why don't you
give us your address
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00:03:03,070 --> 00:03:05,000
and we'll send
you some flowers?
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00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:06,010
[SNEEZING]
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00:03:06,050 --> 00:03:07,060
Oh!
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00:03:07,100 --> 00:03:08,110
What the heck are these?
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00:03:08,150 --> 00:03:09,230
Just a
crazy advertising stunt.
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00:03:10,030 --> 00:03:11,120
I hope you enjoy
the flowers.
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00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:12,170
Let's get out of here.
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00:03:14,100 --> 00:03:15,120
[TIRES SCREECHING]
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00:03:19,170 --> 00:03:21,070
[SNIFFLING]
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00:03:21,110 --> 00:03:22,210
What's wrong with you?
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00:03:24,030 --> 00:03:26,000
I don't know.
Honest injun.
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00:03:27,060 --> 00:03:28,130
Sorry about that.
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00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:34,090
Paul, how much further
do you want me to go?
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PAUL:
Just until I get
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00:03:35,190 --> 00:03:37,020
the springs adjusted.
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00:03:37,060 --> 00:03:38,190
If I go much further,
I'll--I'll...
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00:03:38,230 --> 00:03:40,060
[SCREAMS]
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00:03:40,100 --> 00:03:41,210
[CRASHING]
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00:03:42,010 --> 00:03:43,070
Gee, I am sorry, Marv,
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00:03:43,110 --> 00:03:44,220
I didn't know
you were so out of shape.
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00:03:45,020 --> 00:03:46,150
Ok, I'll also need
a chinning bar
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00:03:46,190 --> 00:03:48,200
and a 300-pound set
of competition weights.
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00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:50,090
Oh, be honest, now.
Isn't all this
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00:03:50,130 --> 00:03:51,070
just to impress
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00:03:51,110 --> 00:03:52,230
the guy from
Wide World of Sports?
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00:03:53,030 --> 00:03:54,140
Well, maybe
that's a part of it.
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00:03:54,180 --> 00:03:56,030
But think
of the big picture, Marv.
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00:03:56,070 --> 00:03:57,120
As producer of my show,
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you should look
on this body
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00:03:59,120 --> 00:04:01,100
as one of KXLA's
most valuable assets.
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00:04:01,140 --> 00:04:02,210
Well, fine.
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00:04:03,010 --> 00:04:04,190
Let's lock you up
in the safe every night.
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00:04:04,230 --> 00:04:06,150
Do you think
The Paul Thurston Show
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00:04:06,190 --> 00:04:09,040
would be getting
350 fan letters a week
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00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:11,000
if I were some
ordinary looking guy
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00:04:11,040 --> 00:04:11,170
like you?
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00:04:11,210 --> 00:04:13,220
No, man.
More like 800.
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00:04:14,020 --> 00:04:16,030
And that just be
from the soul sisters.
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00:04:17,060 --> 00:04:18,120
[PHONE RINGING]
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00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:20,100
Good morning.
Oh, uh, good morning.
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00:04:20,140 --> 00:04:22,050
Wide World of Sports called.
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00:04:22,090 --> 00:04:24,180
Oh, I think Marv's talking
to 'em right now.
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00:04:24,220 --> 00:04:27,020
Here, Adam, try this.
No, I'm no good at this.
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00:04:27,060 --> 00:04:27,140
PAUL:
Go on, go on.
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00:04:27,180 --> 00:04:28,030
Give it a try.
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00:04:28,070 --> 00:04:29,050
[ZAPPING]
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00:04:31,230 --> 00:04:33,030
It looks like fun.
Let me try.
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00:04:33,070 --> 00:04:34,150
Give me that. It's mine.
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00:04:34,190 --> 00:04:36,070
[SNIFFLING]
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00:04:36,110 --> 00:04:38,140
Uh, Paul, can I borrow
your handkerchief, please?
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00:04:39,170 --> 00:04:41,020
Uh.
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00:04:41,060 --> 00:04:42,050
Thanks.
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00:04:42,090 --> 00:04:43,190
Boy, I kinda feel stopped up.
113
00:04:43,230 --> 00:04:45,130
Almost like
I am getting a cold.
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00:04:45,170 --> 00:04:47,030
That's impossible.
115
00:04:47,070 --> 00:04:48,210
Why is it impossible?
Everybody gets colds.
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00:04:49,010 --> 00:04:50,210
No, not me.
I've never had one in my life.
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00:04:51,010 --> 00:04:51,230
Neither has my mom.
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00:04:52,030 --> 00:04:53,020
No kidding.
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00:04:53,060 --> 00:04:54,080
What makes you so special?
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00:04:54,120 --> 00:04:55,210
Well, it's nothing.
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00:04:56,010 --> 00:04:57,020
She's just been very lucky
up till now.
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00:04:57,060 --> 00:04:58,160
Hi, Adam, Tabitha.
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00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:00,070
That was the
Wide World of Sports office.
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00:05:00,110 --> 00:05:01,220
Oh, Roone Arledge, eh?
125
00:05:02,020 --> 00:05:03,110
Hope you gave
Roone my best.
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00:05:03,150 --> 00:05:04,200
No, I didn't.
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00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:06,060
Anyway, they loved
your research, Adam.
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00:05:06,100 --> 00:05:08,170
They want you to supervise
the Los Angeles
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00:05:08,210 --> 00:05:10,020
weightlifting segment.
Great.
130
00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:12,020
And Tabitha,
I got a big job for you, too.
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00:05:12,060 --> 00:05:13,120
Vasily Kasseroff,
the Russian champion,
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00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:14,160
has agreed to participate,
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00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:16,120
and I want you to be
in charge of it.
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00:05:16,160 --> 00:05:19,210
Mm. Heavy.
240 pounds to be exact.
135
00:05:20,010 --> 00:05:21,210
And, Paul, you will be calling
action on the floor
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00:05:22,010 --> 00:05:22,150
of the arena.
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00:05:22,190 --> 00:05:24,080
So I want you to do
a little research
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00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:25,150
on the rules,
the weightlifters,
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00:05:25,190 --> 00:05:26,170
you know what I mean.
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00:05:26,210 --> 00:05:28,090
Research.
Who needs research?
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00:05:28,130 --> 00:05:30,000
I've pumped iron, baby.
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00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:31,170
The dead lift,
the bench press.
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00:05:31,210 --> 00:05:34,060
Paul, don't forget
what you're best at.
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00:05:34,100 --> 00:05:35,150
The jerk.
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00:05:35,190 --> 00:05:37,140
You're darned right.
The jerk.
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00:05:37,180 --> 00:05:39,050
It's very funny, Marv.
147
00:05:39,090 --> 00:05:40,170
You'll probably
want to stick close by me
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00:05:40,210 --> 00:05:41,220
because of
my heavy experience...
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00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:00,200
Oh, there you are.
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00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:02,100
I want you
to meet my date.
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00:06:02,140 --> 00:06:03,140
Aunt Minerva.
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00:06:03,180 --> 00:06:04,200
Oh, Prince.
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00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:06,150
[WHISTLING]
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00:06:06,190 --> 00:06:08,080
Good boy.
155
00:06:08,120 --> 00:06:11,000
Tabitha, I want you to meet
Prince Horst Hapsburg.
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00:06:14,060 --> 00:06:15,140
Hi.
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00:06:15,180 --> 00:06:16,210
Hi?
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00:06:17,010 --> 00:06:18,120
You say "Hi"
to an authentic,
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00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:20,190
hand-kissing,
heel-clicking German prince,
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00:06:20,230 --> 00:06:22,120
complete with fencing scar?
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00:06:22,160 --> 00:06:24,050
What scar?
162
00:06:24,090 --> 00:06:26,090
W-Well, it's not
on his face.
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00:06:26,130 --> 00:06:28,210
But, uh, trust me,
he has one.
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00:06:29,010 --> 00:06:30,130
Uh, Aunt Minerva,
I was just about
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00:06:30,170 --> 00:06:31,130
to get into bed.
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00:06:31,170 --> 00:06:33,180
Oh, rest later, sweetheart.
167
00:06:33,220 --> 00:06:36,090
The prince here
knows a cute younger prince,
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00:06:36,130 --> 00:06:39,070
and we're all off
to the Octoberfest in Munchen.
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00:06:39,110 --> 00:06:41,140
To heck with my diet.
I got the munchies.
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00:06:41,180 --> 00:06:43,210
Well, it sounds
really great, Aunt Minerva,
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00:06:44,010 --> 00:06:46,090
but I feel kind of crummy.
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00:06:46,130 --> 00:06:48,050
I think I've got a cold.
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00:06:48,090 --> 00:06:49,130
A cold?
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00:06:49,170 --> 00:06:50,210
Witches don't get colds.
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00:06:51,010 --> 00:06:52,060
We get tortured,
we get banished,
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00:06:52,100 --> 00:06:53,100
we get stoned,
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00:06:53,140 --> 00:06:55,110
usually
at the banishment party,
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00:06:55,150 --> 00:06:57,150
but colds. Impossible.
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00:06:57,190 --> 00:06:58,170
[COUGHING]
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00:06:58,210 --> 00:06:59,230
[SNIFFLES]
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00:07:00,030 --> 00:07:01,130
Oh, you've got a cold.
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00:07:01,170 --> 00:07:03,030
Poor baby.
Later, Prince.
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00:07:03,070 --> 00:07:05,140
[SPEAKING GERMAN]
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00:07:05,180 --> 00:07:07,200
You said we could have
hanky-panky.
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00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:09,070
Aw, sorry, Prince.
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00:07:09,110 --> 00:07:10,230
Here's the hanky.
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00:07:11,030 --> 00:07:12,170
Catch you later
for some panky.
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00:07:12,210 --> 00:07:14,070
Now click
your little heels.
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00:07:14,110 --> 00:07:16,030
Rats!
190
00:07:16,070 --> 00:07:17,120
Oh!
191
00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:18,200
A cold.
192
00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:20,100
Any, uh, side effects?
193
00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:22,200
Oh, yeah, this morning
I sneezed,
194
00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:26,010
and there was Adam
with a feather in his head.
195
00:07:26,050 --> 00:07:27,160
That's an improvement.
196
00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:30,200
Well, you are the product
of a mixed marriage.
197
00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:32,080
But don't worry,
198
00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:35,000
I'll fix you up
with my home remedy.
199
00:07:37,030 --> 00:07:38,080
[SNIFFS]
200
00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:39,150
[LIQUID BUBBLING]
201
00:07:41,210 --> 00:07:43,160
Okay.
202
00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:45,130
I--I--I don't have
to drink that, do I?
203
00:07:45,170 --> 00:07:47,220
Are you crazy?
That's to dip your elbow.
204
00:07:50,210 --> 00:07:51,210
[SCOFFS]
205
00:07:53,080 --> 00:07:55,140
How do you feel?
206
00:07:55,180 --> 00:07:57,150
Uh, I still feel
a little funny,
207
00:07:57,190 --> 00:08:00,160
but at least
my head's clear.
208
00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:02,140
Oh, Aunt Minerva, thanks.
209
00:08:02,180 --> 00:08:04,010
I was so worried
I was gonna have to miss
210
00:08:04,050 --> 00:08:05,010
the weightlifting meet.
211
00:08:05,050 --> 00:08:07,210
My home remedy never fails.
212
00:08:08,010 --> 00:08:11,040
Well, so much
for the hanky.
213
00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:13,050
Oh, Prince.
214
00:08:13,090 --> 00:08:14,230
It's panky time.
215
00:08:18,210 --> 00:08:20,010
TABITHA:
Morning.
216
00:08:20,050 --> 00:08:20,220
Morning.
217
00:08:21,020 --> 00:08:22,140
Marvin and Kasseroff
drove into the lot
218
00:08:22,180 --> 00:08:23,110
right behind me.
219
00:08:23,150 --> 00:08:24,200
Oh, no kidding.
220
00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:27,030
I better get
my Russky dictionary.
221
00:08:27,070 --> 00:08:29,180
Hey, your cold's better, huh?
Yeah, I feel pretty good.
222
00:08:29,220 --> 00:08:31,100
Aunt Minerva gave me
one of her home remedies.
223
00:08:31,140 --> 00:08:33,190
Do me a favor.
Don't tell me what was in it.
224
00:08:33,230 --> 00:08:35,230
Vasily, I'd like you
to meet Adam Stephens,
225
00:08:36,030 --> 00:08:37,120
and your personal guide
while you're here,
226
00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:38,080
Tabitha Stephens.
227
00:08:38,120 --> 00:08:40,020
[EXCLAIMS]
228
00:08:40,060 --> 00:08:42,180
You more nice
than Farrah Fawcett.
229
00:08:42,220 --> 00:08:44,130
Thank you.
230
00:08:44,170 --> 00:08:45,150
MARVIN:
And, Vasily,
231
00:08:45,190 --> 00:08:47,020
this is Paul Thurston.
232
00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:49,040
[SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN]
233
00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:53,090
No, my mother
does not shave her legs.
234
00:08:53,130 --> 00:08:55,100
N--No, I did
the word for, uh--
235
00:08:55,140 --> 00:08:56,200
VASILY:
Is all right.
236
00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:59,180
I make little joke.
I talk English.
237
00:08:59,220 --> 00:09:01,010
I good at it.
238
00:09:01,050 --> 00:09:02,140
Da, Marvin?
Right on.
239
00:09:02,180 --> 00:09:04,060
Right on what?
240
00:09:04,100 --> 00:09:07,020
That's just slang, Vasily.
You talk great English.
241
00:09:07,060 --> 00:09:08,150
I like you, Marvin.
242
00:09:08,190 --> 00:09:10,180
Why not you come back
with me to Russia?
243
00:09:10,220 --> 00:09:13,020
We treat your peoples
much better than here.
244
00:09:13,060 --> 00:09:15,110
Oh, well, they treat me
awfully good here.
245
00:09:15,150 --> 00:09:17,140
And besides, I wouldn't know
whether to call myself
246
00:09:17,180 --> 00:09:20,120
a "Red Black"
or a "Black Red."
247
00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:23,020
[LAUGHING]
You make little joke.
248
00:09:23,060 --> 00:09:25,150
Vasily, why don't we take
a drive over to the arena
249
00:09:25,190 --> 00:09:27,030
where the competition's
going to be held?
250
00:09:27,070 --> 00:09:29,220
There is no competition
for Vasily.
251
00:09:30,020 --> 00:09:31,150
I see arena tomorrow.
252
00:09:31,190 --> 00:09:33,200
Now I see sights
with Tabushka,
253
00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:36,020
my own personal body guide.
254
00:09:36,060 --> 00:09:38,140
Uh, great idea, champ.
Why don't I join you?
255
00:09:38,180 --> 00:09:41,010
In Russia
we got old saying,
256
00:09:41,050 --> 00:09:44,110
"Two is company,
three is Natahalnia."
257
00:09:48,060 --> 00:09:50,180
Uh, what does that mean?
258
00:09:50,220 --> 00:09:53,200
That word
not in nice dictionary.
259
00:09:56,080 --> 00:09:57,110
Hm.
260
00:09:57,150 --> 00:09:58,220
It's her job, Paul.
261
00:09:59,020 --> 00:10:01,220
Yeah, well,
two can play that game.
262
00:10:02,020 --> 00:10:04,110
Muscles, huh?
263
00:10:04,150 --> 00:10:05,120
[DUMBBELL CRASHES]
264
00:10:05,160 --> 00:10:08,020
[♪♪♪]
265
00:10:15,020 --> 00:10:17,040
From much you show me
so far, Tabushka,
266
00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:20,100
I'm not very impressed
with California, U.S. of A.
267
00:10:20,140 --> 00:10:22,070
Gee, Vasily,
visitors just love
268
00:10:22,110 --> 00:10:23,040
Disneyland.
269
00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:25,170
Huh. Got much better place
in Moscow,
270
00:10:25,210 --> 00:10:28,080
without big mouse
walking in streets.
271
00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:30,070
Now wait a minute, Vasily.
272
00:10:35,220 --> 00:10:38,040
You only got me one
Chuckburger.
273
00:10:38,080 --> 00:10:39,140
It's not enough.
274
00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:41,150
American hamburgers,
very puny.
275
00:10:41,190 --> 00:10:44,130
American hamburgers
are not puny.
276
00:10:44,170 --> 00:10:46,130
They are the best
in the world.
277
00:10:46,170 --> 00:10:47,210
Oh.
278
00:10:48,010 --> 00:10:50,050
In Russia
we got Lenin burgers.
279
00:10:50,090 --> 00:10:52,210
Plenty cheese,
plenty pickles.
280
00:10:53,010 --> 00:10:54,110
And this big.
281
00:10:54,150 --> 00:10:56,000
Well, maybe so,
282
00:10:56,040 --> 00:10:57,180
but this is
a special hamburger.
283
00:10:57,220 --> 00:10:59,230
The Americans invented it
for people like you
284
00:11:00,030 --> 00:11:01,130
with large appetites.
285
00:11:01,170 --> 00:11:03,040
[ZAPPING]
What make it so special?
286
00:11:06,100 --> 00:11:07,150
Fantastic!
287
00:11:07,190 --> 00:11:09,150
I think I take this back
to Russia.
288
00:11:09,190 --> 00:11:11,170
We find secret.
289
00:11:11,210 --> 00:11:13,020
Good luck.
290
00:11:13,060 --> 00:11:14,060
Where to next?
291
00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:17,170
I would like to see
your apartment.
292
00:11:17,210 --> 00:11:19,140
See how Americans live.
293
00:11:19,180 --> 00:11:21,050
Sure, we'll take
the freeway.
294
00:11:21,090 --> 00:11:22,130
Too bad you don't have
295
00:11:22,170 --> 00:11:24,080
beautiful subway
like in Moscow.
296
00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:27,150
American freeways--
crowded, smelly.
297
00:11:27,190 --> 00:11:30,040
Well, it's either that
or we fly.
298
00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:31,110
[SNEEZES]
299
00:11:34,080 --> 00:11:36,030
What happened?
W-where are we?
300
00:11:36,070 --> 00:11:37,210
In front of my apartment.
301
00:11:38,010 --> 00:11:40,180
-But how?
-Automatic freeway.
302
00:11:40,220 --> 00:11:42,160
You do have those in Moscow,
don't you?
303
00:11:44,100 --> 00:11:46,080
But of course.
304
00:11:46,120 --> 00:11:47,200
We invented them.
305
00:11:55,030 --> 00:11:57,120
Oh, very nice.
306
00:11:57,160 --> 00:12:00,060
Other families are at work?
What other families?
307
00:12:00,100 --> 00:12:02,110
Ones who share apartment
with you?
308
00:12:02,150 --> 00:12:04,180
Oh, no. Heh.
I live here alone.
309
00:12:04,220 --> 00:12:06,100
Oh, it's good.
310
00:12:06,140 --> 00:12:08,190
Now we will not be disturbed.
311
00:12:08,230 --> 00:12:10,070
Come, Tabushka.
312
00:12:10,110 --> 00:12:11,160
Now, wait a minute.
313
00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:13,110
Vasily, behave yourself.
314
00:12:14,190 --> 00:12:16,030
Then I block door.
315
00:12:16,070 --> 00:12:17,180
Notice only way out.
316
00:12:17,220 --> 00:12:19,200
Listen, I'm just gonna
pop out for a while,
317
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:21,080
while you cool off.
318
00:12:24,190 --> 00:12:25,180
[ZAPPING]
319
00:12:27,150 --> 00:12:29,030
I have lost my powers.
320
00:12:29,070 --> 00:12:33,040
Of course. All women
are powerless with Vasily.
321
00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:35,210
Minerva! Minerva!
322
00:12:39,050 --> 00:12:40,050
TABITHA:
Minerva!
323
00:12:40,090 --> 00:12:42,020
Vasily, behave yourself!
324
00:12:42,060 --> 00:12:44,080
VASILY:
This how I always behave!
325
00:12:44,120 --> 00:12:45,200
I came
as fast as I could.
326
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:47,110
What are you doing
to my niece?
327
00:12:47,150 --> 00:12:49,040
I mean, I know
what you are your doing,
328
00:12:49,080 --> 00:12:50,070
but that's my niece.
329
00:12:50,110 --> 00:12:51,120
Aunt Minerva, it's okay.
330
00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:52,200
Vasily is really harmless.
331
00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:53,230
And so am I.
332
00:12:54,030 --> 00:12:55,160
I've lost all my powers.
333
00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:56,200
Tabitha.
334
00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:58,030
[SNEEZES]
335
00:12:58,070 --> 00:13:00,020
And your cold's back.
336
00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:01,220
Amazing.
337
00:13:02,020 --> 00:13:04,000
Automatic woman
come into room
338
00:13:04,040 --> 00:13:05,200
faster than secret police.
339
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:07,100
You better behave yourself,
340
00:13:07,140 --> 00:13:10,200
you big, virile,
socialist savage.
341
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:13,040
I go back to hotel now.
342
00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:16,040
I think maybe walk
clear my head.
343
00:13:16,080 --> 00:13:17,160
Just jet lag, Vasily.
344
00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:19,080
I'll see you tomorrow
at the arena.
345
00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:21,050
I hope this is the last time
346
00:13:21,090 --> 00:13:23,130
you'll force yourself
on a defenseless woman.
347
00:13:23,170 --> 00:13:26,170
If not,
I'm usually at this number.
348
00:13:26,210 --> 00:13:29,020
Da, da.
349
00:13:29,060 --> 00:13:30,100
Goodbye.
350
00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:35,100
American women.
351
00:13:35,140 --> 00:13:38,060
Toll free behind
the iron curtain.
352
00:13:39,230 --> 00:13:41,130
Well, let's see,
353
00:13:41,170 --> 00:13:43,090
what home remedies
do I have
354
00:13:43,130 --> 00:13:45,220
when my first home remedy
doesn't cut it?
355
00:13:46,020 --> 00:13:47,030
Oh, no, Aunt Minerva,
356
00:13:47,070 --> 00:13:48,140
I think
we should call Dr. Bombay.
357
00:13:48,180 --> 00:13:50,090
He's been our family doctor
for years.
358
00:13:50,130 --> 00:13:51,150
Well, all right,
if you want
359
00:13:51,190 --> 00:13:52,150
a second opinion.
360
00:13:52,190 --> 00:13:54,160
Well, Aunt Minerva,
if I sneeze
361
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:56,050
during
the Wide World of Sports,
362
00:13:56,090 --> 00:13:57,170
it will ruin everything.
363
00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:02,020
Let's see.
How does Mom do it?
364
00:14:02,060 --> 00:14:03,190
Calling Dr. Bombay.
365
00:14:03,230 --> 00:14:05,090
Calling Dr. Bombay.
366
00:14:06,210 --> 00:14:08,160
Tabitha,
obviously you haven't learnt
367
00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:11,010
how to deal
with the medical profession.
368
00:14:11,050 --> 00:14:13,090
[CLEARING THROAT]
369
00:14:13,130 --> 00:14:16,230
Hey, Bombay!
370
00:14:17,030 --> 00:14:19,040
[WHISTLING]
371
00:14:19,080 --> 00:14:20,200
[ZAPS]
372
00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:22,180
"Dr. Bombay is out."
373
00:14:22,220 --> 00:14:25,100
Oh, darn it.
I wonder when he'll be back.
374
00:14:25,140 --> 00:14:26,200
[ZAPS]
375
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:28,020
"Hours 9 to 5.
376
00:14:28,060 --> 00:14:29,200
No night calls.
No Wednesdays."
377
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:30,220
[ZAPS]
378
00:14:31,020 --> 00:14:32,080
"No malpractice insurance."
379
00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:34,050
[ZAPS]
380
00:14:34,090 --> 00:14:35,220
Well, we will find him.
381
00:14:36,020 --> 00:14:39,000
Before you know it,
I'll--I'll be fit as a fiddle.
382
00:14:39,040 --> 00:14:40,170
[SNEEZES]
383
00:14:40,210 --> 00:14:42,090
Oh, bats!
384
00:14:45,020 --> 00:14:47,060
[♪♪♪]
385
00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:57,140
Did you get Dr. Bombay?
386
00:14:57,180 --> 00:15:00,020
I talked to his nurse.
He can't be reached.
387
00:15:00,050 --> 00:15:02,070
He's giving a seminar
at a witches' convention
388
00:15:02,110 --> 00:15:05,070
on "Why Warlocks
Have Broom Envy."
389
00:15:05,110 --> 00:15:07,020
Well, so far I am okay.
[BUZZER SOUNDS]
390
00:15:07,060 --> 00:15:09,030
I just have to watch
what I sneeze.
391
00:15:09,070 --> 00:15:11,030
As soon as
Bombay checks in,
392
00:15:11,070 --> 00:15:12,210
the nurse
will send him right here.
393
00:15:13,010 --> 00:15:14,200
Tabitha, I'd like
to talk to you.
394
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:16,200
Minerva, what
are you doing here?
395
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,110
Nephew, with all
this prime beef around,
396
00:15:18,150 --> 00:15:20,220
you have to ask?
Would you please cool it?
397
00:15:21,020 --> 00:15:23,020
I heard what you pulled
on Kasseroff yesterday.
398
00:15:23,060 --> 00:15:24,230
I was magnificent.
399
00:15:25,030 --> 00:15:27,010
Luckily, he thought
he just had too much vodka,
400
00:15:27,050 --> 00:15:28,160
which he did,
but it was right after
401
00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:29,140
he left you two.
402
00:15:29,180 --> 00:15:32,080
Adam, Aunt Minerva
came to my rescue.
403
00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:34,020
Vasily started
coming on to me
404
00:15:34,060 --> 00:15:36,080
like I was one
of his Russian girlfriends.
405
00:15:36,120 --> 00:15:38,030
[SNEEZES]
406
00:15:38,070 --> 00:15:40,090
Are you crazy
doing that here?
407
00:15:40,130 --> 00:15:41,150
I--I didn't mean to.
408
00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:43,120
My powers are all fouled up.
409
00:15:43,160 --> 00:15:45,180
Good, then maybe things
will run smoothly.
410
00:15:45,220 --> 00:15:48,000
We are ready for Kasseroff.
Will you go back and get him?
411
00:15:48,040 --> 00:15:49,170
Please, take off that dress.
412
00:15:49,210 --> 00:15:51,030
Ooh, how racy.
413
00:15:51,070 --> 00:15:52,140
That ought
to bring him runnin'.
414
00:15:55,040 --> 00:15:56,170
Well, this is Paul Thurston
signing off
415
00:15:56,210 --> 00:15:58,050
from the weightlifters
ready room.
416
00:15:58,090 --> 00:16:00,200
Now back to my pal,
Jim McKay.
417
00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:03,080
Thanks, guys.
418
00:16:05,020 --> 00:16:07,080
Hey, Tabitha,
what's with the Russian dress?
419
00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:09,040
You are not falling for
that muscle bound ape,
420
00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:09,170
are you?
421
00:16:09,210 --> 00:16:11,120
You know, Paul,
I'm really in a hurry.
422
00:16:11,160 --> 00:16:13,130
You know, there's more
to a man than bulging biceps
423
00:16:13,170 --> 00:16:15,090
and raw sex appeal.
424
00:16:15,130 --> 00:16:17,230
There is, uh, intelligence.
I'll keep that in mind.
425
00:16:18,030 --> 00:16:20,000
Listen, these barbells
are--are in kilograms.
426
00:16:20,040 --> 00:16:21,150
How do you convert it
to pounds?
427
00:16:21,190 --> 00:16:23,030
It--It's easy, Paul.
428
00:16:23,070 --> 00:16:24,180
Just look it up
in the conversion table.
429
00:16:24,220 --> 00:16:26,200
Well, uh, can't you
just explain it to me
430
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:28,080
with the--
with the barbells?
431
00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:31,060
It's simple, Paul.
Even you...
432
00:16:31,100 --> 00:16:33,090
I mean,
believe me,
433
00:16:33,130 --> 00:16:35,000
you can handle it.
434
00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:36,030
[SNEEZES]
435
00:16:38,010 --> 00:16:39,110
[MINERVA GROANS]
436
00:16:56,070 --> 00:16:57,180
[INHALES]
437
00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:03,220
[GRUNTS]
438
00:17:04,020 --> 00:17:05,090
[PANTING]
439
00:17:05,130 --> 00:17:07,060
Fantastic.
440
00:17:07,100 --> 00:17:09,000
My training's paying off.
441
00:17:13,010 --> 00:17:14,110
[CHUCKLES]
442
00:17:18,040 --> 00:17:19,120
Tabushka!
443
00:17:20,180 --> 00:17:23,000
You buy Russian
peasant girl outfit
444
00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:25,050
to make up with me.
445
00:17:25,090 --> 00:17:27,140
We'll talk later
at your apartment, da?
446
00:17:27,180 --> 00:17:30,020
Now cut it out, Vasily,
or I'll flatten you.
447
00:17:30,060 --> 00:17:31,060
[SNEEZES]
448
00:17:32,100 --> 00:17:34,000
Oh, no!
449
00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:37,070
Well, that's putting him
in his place.
450
00:17:37,110 --> 00:17:39,050
I didn't mean it, Vasily.
451
00:17:39,090 --> 00:17:40,210
Please come off there.
452
00:17:41,010 --> 00:17:43,210
We don't need
another Cold War.
453
00:17:44,010 --> 00:17:45,030
[ZAPS]
454
00:17:45,070 --> 00:17:47,170
Oh, nothing!
455
00:17:47,210 --> 00:17:49,190
Hey, Bombay!
456
00:17:49,230 --> 00:17:51,090
Maybe he's on a break.
457
00:17:51,130 --> 00:17:53,050
Oh, right.
458
00:17:54,130 --> 00:17:56,100
Calling Dr. Bombay.
459
00:17:56,140 --> 00:17:57,170
Emergency.
460
00:18:01,230 --> 00:18:03,230
Breaker, breaker!
Code 4!
461
00:18:04,030 --> 00:18:06,210
This is hot stuff
to super quack!
462
00:18:07,010 --> 00:18:08,210
And 10-4 to you.
463
00:18:09,010 --> 00:18:10,200
You've interrupted
my broom envy lecture,
464
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:11,140
young lady.
465
00:18:11,180 --> 00:18:13,000
Who are you?
466
00:18:13,040 --> 00:18:14,090
Don't you
recognize me, Doctor?
467
00:18:14,130 --> 00:18:15,160
I-I'm Tabitha Stephens.
468
00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:17,130
Oh, yes, of course.
469
00:18:17,170 --> 00:18:19,030
Samantha's daughter.
470
00:18:19,070 --> 00:18:20,120
Last time I saw you,
471
00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:22,110
you were
a little wiggler. Ha, ha.
472
00:18:22,150 --> 00:18:24,120
Very well,
what seems to be the problem?
473
00:18:25,180 --> 00:18:27,150
[PANTING]
474
00:18:36,120 --> 00:18:39,110
[MUTTERING IN RUSSIAN]
475
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:42,090
Uh, Tovarich,
476
00:18:42,130 --> 00:18:43,190
uh, could you tell me
how much this weighs
477
00:18:43,230 --> 00:18:44,230
in American pounds?
478
00:18:47,130 --> 00:18:48,200
[SIGHS]
479
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:50,120
430.
480
00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:52,060
430. No, no, no.
481
00:18:52,100 --> 00:18:54,220
No, you didn't understand me.
I said in American pounds.
482
00:18:55,020 --> 00:18:56,220
You know, uh, poundskis.
483
00:18:58,040 --> 00:19:00,080
430.
484
00:19:00,120 --> 00:19:02,070
430. Huh.
485
00:19:02,110 --> 00:19:05,100
I have absolutely no powers
unless I sneeze.
486
00:19:05,140 --> 00:19:07,040
And then when I do,
I don't know
487
00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:08,050
what'll happen.
488
00:19:08,090 --> 00:19:09,210
It doesn't sound
like a cold to me.
489
00:19:10,010 --> 00:19:11,070
It sounds more
like an allergy.
490
00:19:11,110 --> 00:19:13,100
All right,
let me see your thigh.
491
00:19:13,140 --> 00:19:14,190
Oh, go ahead, honey.
492
00:19:14,230 --> 00:19:17,190
How else would you check
a witch for fever?
493
00:19:17,230 --> 00:19:18,230
[ZAPS]
494
00:19:23,150 --> 00:19:24,160
[LAUGHS]
495
00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:25,220
It tickles.
496
00:19:26,020 --> 00:19:27,120
What did I say?
An allergy.
497
00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:28,220
Tabitha.
498
00:19:29,020 --> 00:19:30,130
Vasily lifts in three minutes.
499
00:19:30,170 --> 00:19:32,110
I thought you were supposed
to be getting him.
500
00:19:32,150 --> 00:19:34,010
Uh, I am, Marv.
501
00:19:34,050 --> 00:19:35,120
Let me explain.
502
00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:38,090
Please, spare me
the weird details.
503
00:19:40,110 --> 00:19:41,200
What's the matter with him?
504
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:43,150
Hasn't he ever seen a doctor
at work before?
505
00:19:43,190 --> 00:19:45,130
All right. Sit down.
Leg up, boot off.
506
00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:51,090
[GRUNTING]
507
00:20:00,110 --> 00:20:02,210
I couldn't find Kasseroff.
And he wasn't with Tabitha.
508
00:20:03,010 --> 00:20:04,100
What are we gonna tell
the network?
509
00:20:04,140 --> 00:20:06,050
Tell him
you couldn't find me either.
510
00:20:06,090 --> 00:20:07,200
We can't stall 'em forever.
511
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:09,140
We'll run smack
into celebrity wrestling.
512
00:20:09,180 --> 00:20:11,040
I'm a little confused on this.
513
00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:12,180
How much is 195 kilograms?
514
00:20:12,220 --> 00:20:14,150
Paul, can't you see
we're busy?
515
00:20:14,190 --> 00:20:15,190
Here.
516
00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:18,170
430 pounds.
517
00:20:18,210 --> 00:20:20,040
430 pounds.
518
00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:21,150
That's what
the Russian said.
519
00:20:21,190 --> 00:20:23,200
I did it.
I just lifted it.
520
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:25,120
Paul, later
with the jokes, huh?
521
00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:27,010
Come on,
we got to find Kasseroff.
522
00:20:27,050 --> 00:20:29,040
No, I'm tellin' you.
I--I did it!
523
00:20:31,180 --> 00:20:32,170
It was easy.
524
00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:38,110
Step on that.
525
00:20:38,150 --> 00:20:39,200
[HORN SQUEAKS]
526
00:20:41,020 --> 00:20:41,230
Again.
527
00:20:42,030 --> 00:20:43,190
[HORN SQUEAKS]
528
00:20:43,230 --> 00:20:45,000
One more time.
529
00:20:45,040 --> 00:20:46,030
[HORN HONKS]
530
00:20:46,070 --> 00:20:48,190
Ah-ha, it is an allergy.
531
00:20:48,230 --> 00:20:51,120
I fell like I'm being treated
by Harpo Marx.
532
00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:52,170
[SNEEZES]
533
00:20:54,030 --> 00:20:55,100
Now look what you've done!
534
00:20:55,140 --> 00:20:57,190
Oh, this is outrageous!
535
00:20:57,230 --> 00:21:00,030
This is-- This is inexcusable.
536
00:21:00,070 --> 00:21:02,090
Dr. Bombay, I am your patient,
remember?
537
00:21:02,130 --> 00:21:03,170
Ah, yes, of course.
538
00:21:03,210 --> 00:21:05,190
And I have
your cure right here.
539
00:21:05,230 --> 00:21:08,080
There you are, my dear,
that should do it.
540
00:21:10,100 --> 00:21:11,100
[HORN HONKS]
541
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:16,050
Am I cured?
542
00:21:16,090 --> 00:21:17,080
There's just
one another thing.
543
00:21:17,120 --> 00:21:19,040
A shot.
544
00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:20,130
Okay, let's get it over.
545
00:21:20,170 --> 00:21:23,020
No, no, not for you.
Here. For me.
546
00:21:29,170 --> 00:21:31,140
Well, if I'm cured,
547
00:21:31,180 --> 00:21:33,160
I guess
I'd better cure Vasily.
548
00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:38,090
[EXHALES]
549
00:21:38,130 --> 00:21:39,130
[ZAPS]
550
00:21:41,040 --> 00:21:42,190
What happened?
551
00:21:42,230 --> 00:21:45,050
And if you try that again,
Vasily, you'll get another one.
552
00:21:45,090 --> 00:21:46,180
I will?
553
00:21:46,220 --> 00:21:48,140
Tabitha, I thought I asked you
to find the Russian.
554
00:21:48,180 --> 00:21:49,180
He's right here.
555
00:21:49,220 --> 00:21:51,070
Yeah, I did.
I found him.
556
00:21:51,110 --> 00:21:53,020
Well, a darn good thing.
Two more minutes,
557
00:21:53,060 --> 00:21:55,010
I would be helping you
defect to Russia.
558
00:21:55,050 --> 00:21:56,160
I'm sorry, Tabushka.
559
00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:59,050
I must go now.
560
00:21:59,090 --> 00:22:00,220
She's small like Olga Korbut,
561
00:22:01,020 --> 00:22:03,110
but she punched
like Mohamski Ali.
562
00:22:03,150 --> 00:22:04,210
That big brute made
a pass at you?
563
00:22:05,010 --> 00:22:06,090
I hope you flattened him.
564
00:22:06,130 --> 00:22:08,130
Did I ever?
Had him pinned to the wall.
565
00:22:13,130 --> 00:22:15,010
VASILY:
Thank you. Thank you.
566
00:22:15,050 --> 00:22:16,210
[SPEAKING RUSSIAN]
567
00:22:17,010 --> 00:22:18,000
[CROWD APPLAUDING]
Congratulations, Vasily,
568
00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:18,130
you won again.
569
00:22:18,170 --> 00:22:20,170
And naturally.
But I feel sad
570
00:22:20,210 --> 00:22:22,100
that you are angry
with Vasily.
571
00:22:22,140 --> 00:22:24,040
Oh, I am not angry with you.
572
00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:26,090
It's just that you pushed
the romance a little too soon.
573
00:22:26,130 --> 00:22:27,180
That's all.
574
00:22:27,220 --> 00:22:29,230
Heh. My wife tells me
same thing.
575
00:22:30,030 --> 00:22:33,030
Oh, Vasily just kidding.
576
00:22:33,070 --> 00:22:35,030
Oh, good,
you're still here.
577
00:22:35,070 --> 00:22:36,120
Casserole,
I'm challenging you
578
00:22:36,160 --> 00:22:38,180
to a little mano a mano
weight lift here.
579
00:22:38,220 --> 00:22:40,130
You? Me?
580
00:22:40,170 --> 00:22:41,140
[CHUCKLES]
581
00:22:41,180 --> 00:22:43,100
He make good joke.
582
00:22:43,140 --> 00:22:45,220
Well, you won't be laughing
in a minute.
583
00:22:46,020 --> 00:22:47,180
You like muscles?
I'll give you muscles.
584
00:22:47,220 --> 00:22:50,020
I'm gonna begin
with 195 kilos.
585
00:22:50,060 --> 00:22:52,070
That's over 430 poundskis.
586
00:22:52,110 --> 00:22:53,140
The barbell
I was fooling with
587
00:22:53,180 --> 00:22:54,200
when you began sneezing,
remember?
588
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:57,020
Oh, how could I forget?
589
00:22:57,060 --> 00:22:58,190
Is this the barbell
you lifted?
590
00:22:58,230 --> 00:23:00,140
Those hollow
promotional weights?
591
00:23:00,180 --> 00:23:01,220
What do you mean, hollow?
592
00:23:02,020 --> 00:23:02,230
[ZAPS]
593
00:23:03,030 --> 00:23:04,040
Thanks for reminding me.
594
00:23:04,080 --> 00:23:05,100
I've got to get these back
595
00:23:05,140 --> 00:23:07,130
to the public relation's office.
596
00:23:09,190 --> 00:23:11,050
[NERVOUS LAUGH]
597
00:23:11,090 --> 00:23:14,020
No, no, that couldn't have
been the one.
598
00:23:14,060 --> 00:23:16,130
This--This must be the one.
599
00:23:17,170 --> 00:23:18,170
[INHALES]
600
00:23:20,110 --> 00:23:23,110
[INHALING DEEPLY]
601
00:23:24,220 --> 00:23:26,160
[LAUGHING]
602
00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:31,180
Well, this is probably it,
right there.
603
00:23:31,220 --> 00:23:33,130
[♪♪♪]
604
00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:41,160
[♪♪♪]
40044
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