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♪
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00:00:06,876 --> 00:00:09,444
[Ingmar] Los Angeles,
California,
3
00:00:09,487 --> 00:00:12,012
the land of sunshine...
4
00:00:12,055 --> 00:00:13,839
and traffic.
5
00:00:13,883 --> 00:00:15,841
[music playing]
6
00:00:15,885 --> 00:00:17,930
But that didn'’t bother me--
7
00:00:17,974 --> 00:00:20,411
it gave me some time to think.
8
00:00:20,455 --> 00:00:22,239
It gave me some "me" time.
9
00:00:27,244 --> 00:00:30,595
Sadly, starting
that sunny Monday morning,
10
00:00:30,639 --> 00:00:32,858
my "me" time
was totally fucked.
11
00:00:32,902 --> 00:00:34,730
Hey, I was wondering,
12
00:00:34,773 --> 00:00:37,863
is it okay if I call you "Ing"
instead of Ingmar?
13
00:00:37,907 --> 00:00:39,778
You can call me Ax
if you want to.
14
00:00:39,822 --> 00:00:41,563
Uh, I don'’t think so.
15
00:00:41,606 --> 00:00:45,045
But how about when I text you?
I can just text "Ing."
16
00:00:45,088 --> 00:00:46,568
Or even better, just "I."
17
00:00:46,611 --> 00:00:48,700
What the hell
is wrong with Ingmar?
18
00:00:48,744 --> 00:00:50,354
All right, well, that works.
19
00:00:50,398 --> 00:00:52,139
Yeah.
20
00:00:52,182 --> 00:00:54,619
I'’m sorry, I'm sorry,
I know I'’m talking a lot,
21
00:00:54,663 --> 00:00:57,796
but, you know,
it'’s our first day
working together,
22
00:00:57,840 --> 00:00:59,494
I'’m a bit nervous.
23
00:00:59,537 --> 00:01:01,191
That'’s when I start
talking a lot.
24
00:01:01,235 --> 00:01:03,802
Well, actually, that'’s a lie,
because I always talk a lot,
25
00:01:03,846 --> 00:01:06,327
but--but even more
when I'’m nervous.
26
00:01:06,370 --> 00:01:09,112
I'’ll try and shut up now.
27
00:01:09,156 --> 00:01:10,331
Be quiet.
28
00:01:11,984 --> 00:01:13,986
[blowing raspberries]
29
00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:18,426
Where are we going?
30
00:01:18,469 --> 00:01:21,342
Oh, to my therapist.
31
00:01:21,385 --> 00:01:23,300
Oh, to your therapist?
32
00:01:23,344 --> 00:01:26,129
Yep. My therapist.
33
00:01:32,266 --> 00:01:34,268
[Ingmar]
As far as I was concerned,
34
00:01:34,311 --> 00:01:35,834
a high-class therapist
35
00:01:35,878 --> 00:01:37,967
had nothing
on a low-class shooting range.
36
00:01:38,010 --> 00:01:39,316
[speaking Swedish]
37
00:01:45,148 --> 00:01:49,152
[woman chuckling]
Well, well, well.
38
00:01:49,196 --> 00:01:51,589
If it isn'’t Ingmar the Swede.
39
00:01:51,633 --> 00:01:57,160
I see you'’ve been shopping
for extremely gay cardigans
at H&M.
40
00:01:57,204 --> 00:01:59,293
Jane McKinney,
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00:01:59,336 --> 00:02:01,947
founder and CEO
of McKinney Enterprises,
42
00:02:01,991 --> 00:02:05,212
the number one
investigative firm
in all of Los Angeles.
43
00:02:05,255 --> 00:02:06,648
- I'’m--
-Axel.
44
00:02:06,691 --> 00:02:09,085
Born and raised
in the south of Sweden,
45
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:12,088
in an area called Skane.
46
00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:14,046
Did I pronounce that correctly?
47
00:02:15,396 --> 00:02:17,267
Well, it was...perfect,
actually.
48
00:02:17,311 --> 00:02:18,573
Up until three days ago,
49
00:02:18,616 --> 00:02:21,010
you were a somewhat
successful DJ
50
00:02:21,053 --> 00:02:23,273
who, in a moment
of existential crisis,
51
00:02:23,317 --> 00:02:26,450
decided to join
the detective game.
52
00:02:26,494 --> 00:02:28,278
-How did you--
-As I told you,
53
00:02:28,322 --> 00:02:29,975
I'’m Jane McKinney,
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00:02:30,019 --> 00:02:33,065
the number one investigator
in all of Los Angeles.
55
00:02:33,109 --> 00:02:34,632
I'’m a pro.
56
00:02:34,676 --> 00:02:39,071
Not like Ingmar here,
who sucks. At everything.
57
00:02:39,115 --> 00:02:41,552
Oh-- He doesn'’t
suck at everything.
58
00:02:41,596 --> 00:02:43,032
He--he doesn'’t
suck at anything.
59
00:02:43,075 --> 00:02:44,468
Do you suck at anything?
60
00:02:44,512 --> 00:02:45,687
[speaking Swedish]
61
00:02:47,645 --> 00:02:49,212
[Jane laughs]
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Look at this.
Little Swedish ladies
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00:02:52,041 --> 00:02:53,651
in a little Swedish lady fight.
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00:02:53,695 --> 00:02:55,044
Boop! [laughs]
65
00:02:55,087 --> 00:02:56,741
Hey, I would love
to stick around
66
00:02:56,785 --> 00:02:58,526
and smell that aftershave
you'’re wearing,
67
00:02:58,569 --> 00:03:01,485
but I need to teach this guy
how to shoot.
68
00:03:01,529 --> 00:03:04,401
You, teach?
Mr. Lone Wolf?
69
00:03:04,445 --> 00:03:07,230
[laughs]
That'’s funny.
70
00:03:07,274 --> 00:03:08,927
Tell you what.
71
00:03:08,971 --> 00:03:11,103
Give me one week
and I'’ll have him shooting
72
00:03:11,147 --> 00:03:13,105
much better than
one of your boy toys.
73
00:03:14,498 --> 00:03:15,891
Are we on?
74
00:03:15,934 --> 00:03:18,198
Are Swedish fish
from Sweden?
75
00:03:18,241 --> 00:03:19,634
Well, actually,
Swedish fish
76
00:03:19,677 --> 00:03:22,637
don'’t come from Swe--
[grunts] -- den.
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00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:24,639
So it'’s on, then?
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00:03:24,682 --> 00:03:28,208
You, my friend, are as screwed
as a piece of Ikea furniture.
79
00:03:28,251 --> 00:03:31,123
And you, well,
80
00:03:31,167 --> 00:03:32,690
just try to stay alive--
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00:03:32,734 --> 00:03:34,518
at least until
after the contest.
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00:03:37,913 --> 00:03:40,176
♪
83
00:04:11,642 --> 00:04:13,209
[speaking Swedish]
84
00:04:39,235 --> 00:04:41,106
Yeah, you come on,
motherfucker!
85
00:04:46,198 --> 00:04:47,287
[sighs]
86
00:04:55,338 --> 00:04:56,687
Ow!
87
00:04:59,386 --> 00:05:00,909
-[Jane laughing]
88
00:05:05,566 --> 00:05:07,089
[loud ringing sound]
89
00:05:14,749 --> 00:05:17,360
I think my wife'’s
having an affair...
90
00:05:17,404 --> 00:05:19,710
with someone at her work.
91
00:05:19,754 --> 00:05:23,018
I want to hire you
to, uh, find out if she is.
92
00:05:23,061 --> 00:05:25,847
[shouting] I just
want to say thanks
for choosing the Swedish Dicks.
93
00:05:27,109 --> 00:05:29,372
You don'’t have to shout.
94
00:05:29,416 --> 00:05:30,939
I'’m blind, not deaf.
95
00:05:30,982 --> 00:05:32,506
[shouting] Well,
we had a little accident
96
00:05:32,549 --> 00:05:34,856
at the shooting range,
it affected our hearing.
97
00:05:36,988 --> 00:05:38,642
He blind?
98
00:05:38,686 --> 00:05:41,384
I have a friend
who has a friend
99
00:05:41,428 --> 00:05:43,995
who rip out orphan cat'’s eye
100
00:05:44,039 --> 00:05:46,041
and transplant into human.
101
00:05:46,084 --> 00:05:48,522
If you want,
I can hook you up,
blind man.
102
00:05:48,565 --> 00:05:50,045
-What?!
-Not now, Sun.
103
00:05:52,090 --> 00:05:53,570
You think about.
104
00:05:55,877 --> 00:05:58,488
-Wha--
-Well, we will
immediately start
105
00:05:58,532 --> 00:06:00,316
surveillance on your wife, sir,
106
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:01,970
and if she'’s sleeping
with another man,
107
00:06:02,013 --> 00:06:02,971
we will let you know.
108
00:06:03,014 --> 00:06:04,451
Or woman!
109
00:06:04,494 --> 00:06:05,800
She could be sleeping
with a woman.
110
00:06:05,843 --> 00:06:07,758
You know? Or an animal.
111
00:06:07,802 --> 00:06:10,282
Sleeping with animals
was actually legal in Sweden
112
00:06:10,326 --> 00:06:12,023
until just a few years ago.
113
00:06:14,548 --> 00:06:15,940
[Ingmar] Now, listen,
114
00:06:15,984 --> 00:06:18,508
you gotta filter
your thoughts.
115
00:06:18,552 --> 00:06:20,423
-Okay?
-Yeah. Right.
116
00:06:20,467 --> 00:06:22,338
You can'’t say whatever
pops into your head
117
00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:24,384
just because
it pops into your head.
118
00:06:24,427 --> 00:06:25,689
Yeah. right. I'’m sorry.
119
00:06:25,733 --> 00:06:28,649
Yeah. Now, the poor guy
hired us to find out
120
00:06:28,692 --> 00:06:31,216
if his wife is cheating on him.
121
00:06:31,260 --> 00:06:33,523
-Right?
-How many times do you
want me to say it?
122
00:06:33,567 --> 00:06:34,742
I'’m sorry.
You'’re right.
123
00:06:34,785 --> 00:06:37,266
No. No, no, no, no.
124
00:06:37,309 --> 00:06:39,355
No. No.
Listen to me.
125
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:43,098
You tell your client either
he accepts the contract as is,
126
00:06:43,141 --> 00:06:46,710
or my client will walk...
all over his grave.
127
00:06:46,754 --> 00:06:48,277
Am I making myself clear?
128
00:06:49,452 --> 00:06:50,627
Great!
129
00:06:50,671 --> 00:06:53,413
[Ingmar]
But is it true, though?
130
00:06:53,456 --> 00:06:55,763
-What?
-What you just said up there.
131
00:06:55,806 --> 00:06:58,766
That it'’s legal
to sleep with animals?
132
00:06:58,809 --> 00:07:01,290
It was legal
until 2014.
133
00:07:01,333 --> 00:07:04,815
About the same time
that they forbid
testing makeup on animals.
134
00:07:04,859 --> 00:07:06,904
Now, I'’m not saying
it'’s correlated,
135
00:07:06,948 --> 00:07:09,167
but, uh, it make sense.
136
00:07:09,211 --> 00:07:12,127
because you don'’t want to sleep
with an animal if it'’s not
wearing makeup.
137
00:07:16,044 --> 00:07:18,307
-Hi, Dad.
-Hi, hon.
138
00:07:18,350 --> 00:07:20,222
Dad?
139
00:07:20,265 --> 00:07:22,006
[speaking Swedish]
140
00:07:22,050 --> 00:07:25,793
My name is Sarah,
Dad, okay? Not Sara.
141
00:07:25,836 --> 00:07:27,664
How hard can that be?
142
00:07:27,708 --> 00:07:28,839
She doesn'’t speak Swedish.
143
00:07:28,883 --> 00:07:30,145
And why should I?
144
00:07:30,188 --> 00:07:31,799
It'’s a totally useless language
145
00:07:31,842 --> 00:07:33,148
that only nine million people
in the world even understand.
146
00:07:33,191 --> 00:07:34,845
You want to put that
into a true perspective?
147
00:07:34,889 --> 00:07:37,457
Nine million people is exactly
two million people less
148
00:07:37,500 --> 00:07:40,416
than the eleven million people
that currently reside
in Los Angeles County.
149
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,287
Plus, by not speaking Swedish,
150
00:07:42,331 --> 00:07:44,333
I get to remind my father
how pissed off I am at him
151
00:07:44,376 --> 00:07:46,030
that he chose to hang out
with his stunt buddies
rather than me
152
00:07:46,074 --> 00:07:47,554
when I was growing up.
153
00:07:47,597 --> 00:07:49,077
Who are you, by the way?
154
00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:50,687
Oh, I'’m Axel.
155
00:07:50,731 --> 00:07:52,820
You--You talk fast.
Really fast.
156
00:07:52,863 --> 00:07:54,561
-[cell phone rings]
-She'’s a lawyer.
157
00:07:54,604 --> 00:07:56,650
Oh, speaking of which...
158
00:07:56,693 --> 00:07:58,913
I got the judge to drop
the breaking and entering
charges on you
159
00:07:58,956 --> 00:07:59,914
in the Hartman case.
160
00:07:59,957 --> 00:08:02,786
What? Wow.
161
00:08:02,830 --> 00:08:04,962
Thank you.
Owe you.
162
00:08:05,006 --> 00:08:08,226
Oh, that'’s the understatement
of the...century,
163
00:08:08,270 --> 00:08:10,011
considering
you actually do owe me
164
00:08:10,054 --> 00:08:11,578
because you never pay me.
165
00:08:11,621 --> 00:08:13,318
[ringtones play]
166
00:08:13,362 --> 00:08:15,320
Oh. I have to vámonos.
167
00:08:15,364 --> 00:08:17,714
I'’m having some contractors
come do renovations on my condo.
168
00:08:17,758 --> 00:08:21,588
Renovations?
Who are you hiring?
169
00:08:21,631 --> 00:08:23,807
-Don'’t start.
-Start what?
170
00:08:23,851 --> 00:08:25,983
Interfering in my life.
171
00:08:26,027 --> 00:08:29,552
Well, I--I'’m just asking
a simple question here.
172
00:08:29,596 --> 00:08:33,338
No, a simple question would be,
"What are you having renovated?"
173
00:08:33,382 --> 00:08:34,688
Not, "Who is doing
the renovations?"
174
00:08:37,865 --> 00:08:39,214
Love you.
175
00:08:39,257 --> 00:08:41,303
Yeah, love you too.
176
00:08:48,615 --> 00:08:50,921
[Speaking Swedish]
177
00:08:50,965 --> 00:08:53,271
[Ingmar] After that joyful
family gathering,
178
00:08:53,315 --> 00:08:56,013
it was time to
take care of business.
179
00:08:56,057 --> 00:08:58,450
There was a cheating wife
out there--
180
00:08:58,494 --> 00:09:00,365
we just had to prove it...
181
00:09:00,409 --> 00:09:04,848
hopefully, with Axel
keeping his mouth shut.
182
00:09:04,892 --> 00:09:06,589
Oh ho ho!
183
00:09:06,633 --> 00:09:08,460
Hey! Walkie-talkies!
184
00:09:08,504 --> 00:09:11,768
Hello? Testing, testing.
185
00:09:11,812 --> 00:09:15,772
So, um, your relationship
with Sarah--
186
00:09:15,816 --> 00:09:18,166
seems like something
you two need to work on?
187
00:09:18,209 --> 00:09:19,341
Over.
188
00:09:19,384 --> 00:09:20,560
[feedback]
189
00:09:20,603 --> 00:09:23,258
I don'’t think so.
190
00:09:23,301 --> 00:09:24,868
Well, I'’m no shrink,
191
00:09:24,912 --> 00:09:26,566
but I could be,
192
00:09:26,609 --> 00:09:28,872
after all the hours
I'’ve been in therapy.
193
00:09:28,916 --> 00:09:30,526
And what I saw
between you two...
194
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:31,614
not good.
195
00:09:31,658 --> 00:09:33,529
Can you stop playing
with those?!
196
00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:35,487
Expensive equipment, okay?
197
00:09:35,531 --> 00:09:36,967
Okay, okay,
I'’m just saying,
198
00:09:37,011 --> 00:09:40,014
if you want to, I got the number
to a great shrink.
199
00:09:40,057 --> 00:09:43,278
-You sit down...
-Thanks, but no thanks.
200
00:09:43,321 --> 00:09:44,453
Over and out.
201
00:09:44,496 --> 00:09:46,455
Okay.
202
00:09:46,498 --> 00:09:48,631
You see? I did air quotes.
203
00:09:48,675 --> 00:09:51,112
Means I don'’t believe
what you said.
204
00:09:51,155 --> 00:09:54,332
And I'’m gonna do this...
Bing!
205
00:09:54,376 --> 00:09:55,769
which means I don'’t care.
206
00:09:57,205 --> 00:09:58,815
Touché.
207
00:09:58,859 --> 00:10:00,687
That'’s French.
It means--
208
00:10:00,730 --> 00:10:03,472
I know what touché means.
209
00:10:03,515 --> 00:10:04,647
-Oh, yeah?
-Yeah.
210
00:10:04,691 --> 00:10:07,563
What does it mean?
211
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:10,392
Oh wh-wh-wh-wh-wh--
Here it is.
212
00:10:10,435 --> 00:10:12,220
This is where she works.
213
00:10:21,055 --> 00:10:23,361
So...
214
00:10:23,405 --> 00:10:25,537
what do we do now?
215
00:10:25,581 --> 00:10:28,149
Now we'’re gonna sit here
and wait.
216
00:10:28,192 --> 00:10:29,237
Keep our eyes open.
217
00:10:32,283 --> 00:10:34,372
[music playing on car stereo]
218
00:10:34,416 --> 00:10:36,287
-Wait.
-Mm-hmm.
219
00:10:36,331 --> 00:10:37,375
-Just wait.
-Yep.
220
00:10:39,943 --> 00:10:41,945
[pop music playing]
221
00:10:41,989 --> 00:10:43,643
Do you think
we can change the music?
222
00:10:43,686 --> 00:10:46,776
Can'’t. The cassette
is stuck in there.
223
00:10:46,820 --> 00:10:48,430
I can'’t get it out.
224
00:10:48,473 --> 00:10:51,520
You know what, it flips
to the other side by itself.
225
00:10:53,130 --> 00:10:54,479
Just wait.
226
00:10:54,523 --> 00:10:55,698
[music stops,
tape machine clangs]
227
00:10:55,742 --> 00:10:57,221
Listen. Listen.
228
00:10:57,265 --> 00:10:59,049
-[music starts again]
-Now.
229
00:10:59,093 --> 00:11:01,138
-[Ingmar laughs]
-Wow.
230
00:11:01,182 --> 00:11:03,184
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
231
00:11:05,229 --> 00:11:06,187
Excuse me.
232
00:11:06,230 --> 00:11:07,710
Whoa-whoa-whoa.
233
00:11:07,754 --> 00:11:08,755
What are you doing?
234
00:11:08,798 --> 00:11:10,321
I need to pee.
235
00:11:10,365 --> 00:11:13,411
Jeez-- Ohh. Okay.
236
00:11:13,455 --> 00:11:15,979
We gotta use the piss jar.
237
00:11:16,023 --> 00:11:18,590
We have a piss jar?
238
00:11:18,634 --> 00:11:19,940
Yep.
239
00:11:22,246 --> 00:11:24,205
So-- I'’m supposed
to pee in this?
240
00:11:24,248 --> 00:11:26,773
Yeah, I don'’t want you
to step outside and blow
the cover.
241
00:11:26,816 --> 00:11:28,688
-No. Yeah. Sure.
-Yeah.
242
00:11:28,731 --> 00:11:30,124
Thank you.
243
00:11:33,170 --> 00:11:36,783
Oh, my God. Can you do that
in the back, please?
244
00:11:36,826 --> 00:11:38,045
Right.
245
00:11:43,006 --> 00:11:44,921
-Easy on the car.
-Sorry. [unzips]
246
00:11:47,445 --> 00:11:48,882
[peeing]
247
00:11:48,925 --> 00:11:50,884
If this is what you did
to Sarah when she was a kid,
248
00:11:50,927 --> 00:11:52,755
I can see why
you'’re having problems.
249
00:11:55,497 --> 00:11:57,717
There she is.
Get down.
250
00:12:00,458 --> 00:12:01,982
[camera shutter clicks]
251
00:12:02,025 --> 00:12:03,026
Is she with someone?
252
00:12:03,070 --> 00:12:04,549
No, she'’s alone.
253
00:12:04,593 --> 00:12:06,334
Damn.
254
00:12:06,377 --> 00:12:08,989
Did you think
we would catch her
on the first day?
255
00:12:09,032 --> 00:12:12,819
No, no, I said "damn"
because I think I'’m gonna
need another bottle.
256
00:12:14,037 --> 00:12:15,996
What?
257
00:12:16,039 --> 00:12:20,087
[Ingmar] After taking care
of Axel'’s leftovers,
258
00:12:20,130 --> 00:12:23,264
I had some family business
to attend to.
259
00:12:23,307 --> 00:12:26,354
Axel told me
he had to go someplace.
260
00:12:26,397 --> 00:12:29,009
Frankly, I didn'’t care.
261
00:12:41,238 --> 00:12:43,893
You didn'’t actually think
it was you that shot, did you?
262
00:12:43,937 --> 00:12:45,460
Yeah--yeah--uh, no.
263
00:12:45,503 --> 00:12:47,375
You did.
264
00:12:47,418 --> 00:12:49,203
He thought it was him
that shot, boys.
265
00:12:49,246 --> 00:12:50,770
[chuckling]
266
00:12:50,813 --> 00:12:52,510
Aw, don'’t be sad, little fella.
267
00:12:52,554 --> 00:12:55,209
We'’re just havin' some fun.
268
00:12:55,252 --> 00:12:57,428
You know, I really like you.
269
00:12:57,472 --> 00:13:00,997
In fact, I think
you should dump Igmar
270
00:13:01,041 --> 00:13:02,694
and come and work with me.
271
00:13:02,738 --> 00:13:03,870
What?
272
00:13:03,913 --> 00:13:06,611
Come and run
with the big dogs.
273
00:13:06,655 --> 00:13:10,006
Oh-- I appreciate the offer,
274
00:13:10,050 --> 00:13:11,181
I-I really do,
275
00:13:11,225 --> 00:13:12,966
but, you know, I can'’t.
276
00:13:13,009 --> 00:13:14,924
I'’m in business with Ingmar,
and---
277
00:13:14,968 --> 00:13:16,491
He actually thinks
I'’m serious.
278
00:13:16,534 --> 00:13:18,101
Can you believe that?
279
00:13:18,145 --> 00:13:21,191
Oh. Oh, that'’s--
that'’s very good.
280
00:13:21,235 --> 00:13:23,411
You got me. You win.
281
00:13:23,454 --> 00:13:25,543
Yeah, I always do, sunshine.
282
00:13:25,587 --> 00:13:27,023
I always do.
283
00:13:28,111 --> 00:13:29,896
Hey.
284
00:13:31,680 --> 00:13:34,857
What exactly did you mean when
you said "try and stay alive"?
285
00:13:34,901 --> 00:13:37,642
-You don'’t know?
-Know what?
286
00:13:37,686 --> 00:13:41,385
Well, if you don'’t know,
it'’s not for me to tell you.
287
00:13:41,429 --> 00:13:45,737
But I'’d say you have
a little mystery to unravel,
Hansel.
288
00:13:45,781 --> 00:13:47,565
If I were you,
289
00:13:47,609 --> 00:13:50,438
I'’d start with the movie
called Blood Curse 2.
290
00:13:51,918 --> 00:13:54,311
Blood Curse...2?
291
00:13:54,355 --> 00:13:57,140
It'’s even worse
than it sounds.
292
00:13:57,184 --> 00:13:58,794
Come on, boys.
293
00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:01,928
Let'’s go find something
to shoot.
294
00:14:01,971 --> 00:14:05,366
[Ingmar] Well,
our first day as partners
295
00:14:05,409 --> 00:14:08,369
hadn'’t been easy
for either one of us.
296
00:14:08,412 --> 00:14:11,459
On top of being
the most annoying person
I ever met,
297
00:14:11,502 --> 00:14:14,854
Axel really brought back
some painful memories.
298
00:14:18,466 --> 00:14:21,469
But this was not the time
to be emotional.
299
00:14:21,512 --> 00:14:24,037
The case was still
on square one
300
00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:29,042
and we had no proof
the blind man'’s wife
was sleeping around on him.
301
00:14:29,085 --> 00:14:30,870
[cassette playing in car]
302
00:14:33,611 --> 00:14:34,874
Here.
303
00:14:41,706 --> 00:14:44,405
You know what?
I like being here.
304
00:14:44,448 --> 00:14:46,929
It'’s like being
at a drive-in movie.
305
00:14:49,018 --> 00:14:50,759
You know what?
Speaking of movies,
306
00:14:50,802 --> 00:14:52,935
you were a stuntman, right?
307
00:14:52,979 --> 00:14:55,895
I mean, didn'’t you work on
that one, uh...
308
00:14:55,938 --> 00:15:00,203
oh, what as it...
Blood Curse 2?
309
00:15:00,247 --> 00:15:02,814
I don'’t know what the hell
you'’re playing at,
310
00:15:02,858 --> 00:15:04,120
but you better stop it.
311
00:15:04,164 --> 00:15:06,906
Right now.
You understand?
312
00:15:06,949 --> 00:15:08,908
[cell phone rings]
313
00:15:08,951 --> 00:15:09,996
Shit.
314
00:15:10,039 --> 00:15:11,649
I gotta take this.
315
00:15:16,045 --> 00:15:19,266
-Hi.
-[Sarah] What the hell
do think you'’re doing?
316
00:15:19,309 --> 00:15:20,832
Uh, w-what do you mean?
317
00:15:20,876 --> 00:15:22,573
Oh, don'’t play innocent with me.
318
00:15:22,617 --> 00:15:24,184
Honestly, I don'’t know
319
00:15:24,227 --> 00:15:26,490
what the hell you'’re
talking about, Sarah.
320
00:15:26,534 --> 00:15:28,536
So you'’re saying that
you didn'’t do
321
00:15:28,579 --> 00:15:30,233
a little
background check
on the guys I'’m hiring
322
00:15:30,277 --> 00:15:31,800
to do my renovations?
323
00:15:31,843 --> 00:15:32,932
I mean, you actually
tracked them down,
324
00:15:32,975 --> 00:15:34,977
found out who they were,
325
00:15:35,021 --> 00:15:36,936
and threatened to hurt them
if they didn'’t do a good job?
326
00:15:36,979 --> 00:15:38,676
And do you know how I know?
327
00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:40,374
Because one of them recorded it
on their smartphone.
328
00:15:40,417 --> 00:15:42,593
[Ingmar] You listen to me,
asshole.
329
00:15:42,637 --> 00:15:46,119
I want you to lower the price
by about a hundred percent!
330
00:15:46,162 --> 00:15:48,425
Wha--Get the fuck out of here!
331
00:15:48,469 --> 00:15:50,514
Dad...
332
00:15:50,558 --> 00:15:52,299
how many times
have we been over this?
333
00:15:52,342 --> 00:15:54,388
Stop interfering
in my life, okay?
334
00:15:54,431 --> 00:15:55,606
I can take care of myself.
335
00:15:55,650 --> 00:15:58,392
Okay, okay. I'’m sorry, Sarah.
336
00:15:59,610 --> 00:16:01,003
Apology accepted.
337
00:16:01,047 --> 00:16:03,005
But now I get the luxury
338
00:16:03,049 --> 00:16:04,398
of seeing if I can find
someone else
339
00:16:04,441 --> 00:16:05,399
to work on my place.
340
00:16:05,442 --> 00:16:06,400
I can recommend a really--
341
00:16:06,443 --> 00:16:07,531
I'’m hanging up now.
342
00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:10,534
--contractor.
343
00:16:12,449 --> 00:16:14,799
Like I said,
I know a great shrink.
344
00:16:17,237 --> 00:16:18,586
Oh! It'’s her.
345
00:16:35,211 --> 00:16:36,299
[car starts]
346
00:16:40,912 --> 00:16:42,218
Showtime.
347
00:16:46,614 --> 00:16:47,832
[tires squeal]
348
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:06,938
[Ingmar] Whoo-hoo!
349
00:17:08,462 --> 00:17:09,724
[speaking Swedish]
350
00:17:15,556 --> 00:17:16,818
[clears throat]
351
00:17:16,861 --> 00:17:18,602
Hmm.
352
00:17:18,646 --> 00:17:20,300
How can I help you, handsome?
353
00:17:20,343 --> 00:17:23,259
-[both laugh]
-Well, we'’re looking for
354
00:17:23,303 --> 00:17:26,480
the room number of the couple
that just checked in.
355
00:17:26,523 --> 00:17:28,656
Sorry, no can do.
356
00:17:28,699 --> 00:17:30,962
-Motel policy.
-No, I understand,
357
00:17:31,006 --> 00:17:34,270
but I was hoping
that you could make
an exception,
358
00:17:34,314 --> 00:17:37,230
because they parked their car
just in front of ours,
359
00:17:37,273 --> 00:17:38,970
we can'’t get out.
360
00:17:39,014 --> 00:17:40,842
You see, I'’m taking
my friend here
361
00:17:40,885 --> 00:17:44,106
to his assisted living
facility.
362
00:17:44,150 --> 00:17:45,586
Yeah, he'’s a little bit slow.
363
00:17:45,629 --> 00:17:48,110
Oh, you poor thing.
364
00:17:48,154 --> 00:17:49,590
Yeah, he'’s thirty-five,
365
00:17:49,633 --> 00:17:52,114
but intellectually,
he'’s no more than three.
366
00:17:52,158 --> 00:17:54,899
Hey, little buddy,
367
00:17:54,943 --> 00:17:57,337
do you want a lollypop?
368
00:17:59,991 --> 00:18:02,907
Billy, better answer
the nice lady.
369
00:18:06,172 --> 00:18:08,783
I make big dirt
in my pants.
370
00:18:08,826 --> 00:18:11,873
You really are just
the cutest little thing.
371
00:18:14,354 --> 00:18:15,920
They'’re down the hall...
372
00:18:15,964 --> 00:18:18,662
in room one-oh-five.
373
00:18:20,011 --> 00:18:22,405
-Mm-hmm.
-Thank you, ma'’am.
374
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:35,157
[speaking Swedish]
375
00:18:39,944 --> 00:18:43,513
[woman] Oh! Please tell me
that you see me! Tell me!
376
00:18:43,557 --> 00:18:49,215
-[man] I see you! I see you!
-[woman moaning]
377
00:18:49,258 --> 00:18:53,349
[woman] Sex with a man
who can see is so much better
378
00:18:53,393 --> 00:18:55,221
than sex with a man
who can'’t see!
379
00:18:55,264 --> 00:18:56,831
-[man] Yes!
-[woman] Oh, yes!
380
00:18:56,874 --> 00:18:59,747
[Axel] Your suspicions
were correct, sir.
381
00:18:59,790 --> 00:19:02,228
You wife is sleeping
with another man.
382
00:19:04,230 --> 00:19:06,449
-Are you sure?
-Yes.
383
00:19:07,842 --> 00:19:11,498
Are you laying out photos
in front of me?
384
00:19:11,541 --> 00:19:14,370
No.
385
00:19:14,414 --> 00:19:17,068
Why would I be doing that,
because you'’re--you're blind.
386
00:19:17,112 --> 00:19:19,201
-Yeah.
-You'’re--You're very blind,
387
00:19:19,245 --> 00:19:21,290
so you couldn'’t see
those pictures.
388
00:19:21,334 --> 00:19:22,683
I--I need proof.
389
00:19:22,726 --> 00:19:25,251
Like a video.
390
00:19:25,294 --> 00:19:27,992
Which doesn'’t work...either,
391
00:19:28,036 --> 00:19:29,429
because you can'’t see.
392
00:19:29,472 --> 00:19:31,344
[Ingmar] Audio proof.
393
00:19:31,387 --> 00:19:32,693
Yes.
394
00:19:32,736 --> 00:19:34,303
That'’s what I need.
395
00:19:34,347 --> 00:19:36,175
That'’s what
you'’re gonna get, sir.
396
00:19:36,218 --> 00:19:38,829
Audio proof.
397
00:19:50,232 --> 00:19:51,668
-[knocking]
-Guten hag.
398
00:19:51,712 --> 00:19:53,670
My name is Ax...i...mous.
399
00:19:53,714 --> 00:19:56,934
Aximous? What kind of
a name is that?
400
00:19:56,978 --> 00:19:58,414
Zat is German.
401
00:19:58,458 --> 00:19:59,807
We do a lot of fucked-up things
402
00:19:59,850 --> 00:20:01,504
and we have a lot
of fucked-up names.
403
00:20:01,548 --> 00:20:04,115
I'’m sure that by now
you have read zee memo
404
00:20:04,159 --> 00:20:06,509
about your company hiring a new
carpet cleaning company.
405
00:20:06,553 --> 00:20:08,685
No, I didn'’t read that.
406
00:20:08,729 --> 00:20:11,340
Ah. Who has time to read, ja?
407
00:20:11,384 --> 00:20:14,430
Anyway, I am here
to do a preliminary round
408
00:20:14,474 --> 00:20:17,085
of assessing just how dirty
zee carpets are.
409
00:20:17,128 --> 00:20:21,045
And I would say
that they are...dirty.
410
00:20:21,089 --> 00:20:23,004
[speaks German]
411
00:20:23,047 --> 00:20:26,486
Anyway, zee client'’s opinion
is more important than mine.
412
00:20:26,529 --> 00:20:29,576
How would you describe
zee carpet?
413
00:20:29,619 --> 00:20:31,491
I would say
they'’re really dirty.
414
00:20:31,534 --> 00:20:32,622
Really dirty?
415
00:20:32,666 --> 00:20:34,233
Really dirty.
416
00:20:34,276 --> 00:20:35,799
Unbelievably dirty.
417
00:20:35,843 --> 00:20:39,194
Unbelievably schmutzish.
418
00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:41,936
If I was this carpet,
and I was this dirty,
419
00:20:41,979 --> 00:20:43,720
I would want someone
to spank me.
420
00:20:43,764 --> 00:20:45,592
-Wouldn'’t you?
-I suppose so.
421
00:20:45,635 --> 00:20:46,897
You suppose what?
422
00:20:46,941 --> 00:20:49,117
I suppose I'’d want
someone to spank me.
423
00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:51,032
Ja,good. Okay.
424
00:20:51,075 --> 00:20:53,774
[Axel] We can clean the carpets
softer or harder.
425
00:20:53,817 --> 00:20:54,949
Which do you prefer?
426
00:20:54,992 --> 00:20:56,429
[woman] Well, which is better?
427
00:20:56,472 --> 00:20:58,431
-Well, harder.
-Oh. Do it harder.
428
00:20:58,474 --> 00:21:01,738
-One more time?
-Do it harder.
429
00:21:01,782 --> 00:21:04,872
Now, would you like us
to just clean the surface
of the carpet,
430
00:21:04,915 --> 00:21:07,004
or would you like us
to go...deeper?
431
00:21:07,048 --> 00:21:08,484
Go deeper.
432
00:21:08,528 --> 00:21:09,529
I'’m sorry?
433
00:21:09,572 --> 00:21:10,530
Go deeper.
434
00:21:10,573 --> 00:21:11,835
[German]
435
00:21:14,360 --> 00:21:15,317
[woman on recording] Deeper!
436
00:21:15,361 --> 00:21:17,580
Unbelievably dirty.
437
00:21:17,624 --> 00:21:20,366
Then...do it harder.
438
00:21:20,409 --> 00:21:22,106
Go deeper.
439
00:21:22,150 --> 00:21:24,500
Suppose I'’d want someone
to spank me.
440
00:21:24,544 --> 00:21:25,893
Do it harder.
441
00:21:25,936 --> 00:21:27,764
Unbelievably dirty.
Harder...
442
00:21:27,808 --> 00:21:29,766
Turn it off. Please.
I'’ve heard enough.
443
00:21:29,810 --> 00:21:30,941
Go deeper--
444
00:21:32,987 --> 00:21:37,078
Sir, in our opinion,
445
00:21:37,121 --> 00:21:41,125
she wasn'’t actually
that excited about
having sex
446
00:21:41,169 --> 00:21:43,998
with the man
she was having sex with.
447
00:21:44,041 --> 00:21:45,434
That'’s why she sounds
so lifeless.
448
00:21:45,478 --> 00:21:47,915
No. It'’s definitely my wife.
449
00:21:47,958 --> 00:21:50,744
It'’s exactly how she sounds
when we make love.
450
00:21:50,787 --> 00:21:54,269
She'’s a quiet woman.
451
00:21:54,313 --> 00:21:56,010
-Yes.
-Yeah.
452
00:21:56,053 --> 00:21:58,229
-Yeah, definitely.
-Quite.
453
00:21:58,273 --> 00:22:01,189
[woman screaming]
Ohh! See me! See me!
454
00:22:03,844 --> 00:22:05,759
[Ingmar] It was a close call,
455
00:22:05,802 --> 00:22:08,631
but in the end,
we were successful
456
00:22:08,675 --> 00:22:11,504
in bringing our first case
to a conclusion.
457
00:22:12,896 --> 00:22:15,899
Maybe my luck was changing.
458
00:22:15,943 --> 00:22:18,685
Maybe Axel was
good for the business
459
00:22:18,728 --> 00:22:21,383
and maybe we did
have a chance
at the shoot-out.
460
00:22:34,309 --> 00:22:35,963
Make me proud.
461
00:22:36,006 --> 00:22:37,268
Yes, ma'’am.
462
00:22:45,189 --> 00:22:46,756
We'’ve got a winner,
463
00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:48,628
which means
we'’ve got a loser.
464
00:22:48,671 --> 00:22:50,586
Well, you say I lost,
I say I came in second place.
465
00:22:50,630 --> 00:22:54,416
No, you'’re a loser,
just like Igmar, loser.
466
00:22:54,460 --> 00:22:58,202
She'’s right, Axel.
We are the losers.
467
00:22:58,246 --> 00:23:01,249
In our home country,
there'’s an old Viking tradition
468
00:23:01,292 --> 00:23:05,340
that the losers provides
drinks for the winner.
469
00:23:05,384 --> 00:23:08,125
But I think it'’s too strong
for you, Jane.
470
00:23:08,169 --> 00:23:09,605
Yeah, right.
Whatcha got?
471
00:23:09,649 --> 00:23:13,043
Oh, this is called
Viking water.
472
00:23:18,005 --> 00:23:20,355
[Sarah] Dad, please tell me
you'’re joking.
473
00:23:20,399 --> 00:23:22,836
Tell me you didn'’t actually
make that woman drink that.
474
00:23:22,879 --> 00:23:24,794
[Ingmar] I did.
475
00:23:28,885 --> 00:23:30,365
Aah.
476
00:23:30,409 --> 00:23:33,455
Dad, you cannot keep
doing things like this.
477
00:23:33,499 --> 00:23:34,891
Well, you don'’t want me
478
00:23:34,935 --> 00:23:36,284
interfering in your life,
479
00:23:36,327 --> 00:23:37,807
so please don'’t
interfere in mine.
480
00:23:37,851 --> 00:23:39,505
You know, as much
as it pains me to admit it,
481
00:23:39,548 --> 00:23:40,636
you'’re right.
482
00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:41,942
Won'’t happen again.
483
00:23:41,985 --> 00:23:43,726
Well, actually,
I kind of like it
484
00:23:43,770 --> 00:23:46,337
when you interfere
in my life, Sarah.
485
00:23:46,381 --> 00:23:48,731
Makes me feel closer to you.
486
00:23:48,775 --> 00:23:50,037
If you'’re trying
to get me to admit
487
00:23:50,080 --> 00:23:51,517
that I liked you
interfering in mine,
488
00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:52,735
you can forget about it.
489
00:23:52,779 --> 00:23:55,477
It was worth a shot.
[chuckles]
490
00:23:55,521 --> 00:23:56,826
Well,
491
00:23:56,870 --> 00:23:58,306
I gotta hang up.
492
00:23:58,349 --> 00:24:01,091
I'’m having a drink
with an old friend.
493
00:24:01,135 --> 00:24:02,441
Oh. O-Okay.
494
00:24:02,484 --> 00:24:03,877
-Bye, hon.
-Bye.
495
00:24:05,313 --> 00:24:06,706
[Ingmar] All in all,
496
00:24:06,749 --> 00:24:09,099
it had been a pretty good day.
497
00:24:09,143 --> 00:24:10,971
Sarah and I were okay,
498
00:24:11,014 --> 00:24:12,799
and I didn'’t think
about strangling
499
00:24:12,842 --> 00:24:17,412
that little Swedish guy.
500
00:24:17,456 --> 00:24:18,239
So finally I could spend
some quality time
501
00:24:18,282 --> 00:24:19,806
with my best friend.
35208
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