All language subtitles for Superior Donuts (2017) - S01E01 - Pilot (1080p AMZN WEB-DL x265 MONOLITH)_track3_[eng]

Morning, Arthur.
Hey, Randy.

How's your new partner?

Uh, typical eager-beaver rookie.

Can't wait
to clean up the streets

and protect and serve.

Ah, it's such a cute age.

Aw...

Can I tempt you with a batch
of some fresh maple crèmes?

Hmm?
Ooh!

Okay, all right.

I had to chase him
four blocks, but I got him.

All right,
I'm calling the station.

Dispatch,
this is Officer DeLuca.

Be advised...
the maple crèmes are fresh.

This is what you're doing while
I'm out there risking my life?

Oh, James.

Some day you're gonna learn

the difference
between the perps

that need chasing and the
ones that are just "eh."

Really?
I hold up a liquor store,

and all I get is "eh"?

And there's your confession.

Now just relax, order
yourself something.

Okay. Uh, do you have
any cronuts?

Ooh!
Oh!

What?

A cronut.

It's, uh, part donut,
part croissant.

It's what they call a hybrid.

I-I know what a cronuts is,
and no, I don't sell them.

Nor do I sell muffins
or duffins or muffnuts.

The name of
this place is

Superior Donuts.
I sell donuts.

My parents did not smuggle
me out of Communist Poland

in the hold of a cargo ship

so that 65 years later,
I could sell you a damn cronut!

Scone?

Get out of here.

*

Hi, Arthur.
Hey, Maya.

Whoa! Lot of books.

Yeah. I'm changing
my dissertation

to a textual analysis

of hetero-normative structures

as they relate
to the postmodern patriarchy.

Now, I know what
you're thinking--

how ironic to be
writing about gender roles

surrounded by donuts, which--
let's face it--

are Western culture's culinary
representation of the vagina.

So what kind of vagina
can I get you?

Arthur, it is only okay
when I say it.

Oh.

Donut man!

I'm here about the job.
What?

You got a "Help Wanted"
sign in the window,

which you don't need anymore,
'cause I'm here.

Okay. Leave your résumé.
I'll call if I'm interested.

Mm, I ain't really a résumé guy.

But I'll tell you this. I used
to work at Pete's Liquors,

till they turned that
into a Whole Foods.

And I used to drive a truck
for the Salvation Army

till they turned that
into an Old Navy.

So you're a small business
serial killer, huh?

(laughs)
You funny. So what's the pay?

Minimum wage.
Health insurance?

First aid kit.

What about profit sharing?
Profit sharing?

Do you believe
in profit sharing?

Yeah, I believe in it.

I don't offer it.

You want benefits, why don't
you apply at the Whole Foods?

Ugh. I refuse to work
for some greedy-ass corporation

that's ripping the soul out of
the neighborhood I grew up in.

They turned you down?

Bastards!

So what would I have to do?

Uh, work the counter,
brew coffee, make change.

You need help with social media?

Instagram?
Snapchat?

Tumblr? Morse code?
Cave paintings?

How old are you, man?

I don't need that stuff.
This is a donut shop.

I hate to break it you,
but this is a donut museum.

It happens to be
my slow time of day.

It's 8:00 a.m. in a place
that serves breakfast.

In a city full of fat people.

You got, like, one
customer here, man!

You have a point?

This place could be
a gold mine, you know?

It's authentic.
People love that.

Just remind the world
that you're here.

Maybe put a chalkboard outside
with a "Donut of the Day" on it.

You know, eventually,
the chalkboard's

gonna get stolen,
but that's fine.

That's cool.
It gets the people talking.

"Yo, yo, you heard
somebody stole

the chalkboard
from the donut shop?"

"Wait, wait. Back up. We got
a donut shop? I want a donut!"

Now everybody talk
about donuts, man!

Bam!

You realize this is
a job interview, right?

Yeah. How am I doing?

Actually, not bad.

Arthur, I'm celebrating!
Donuts for everyone!

Who was already in the room
when I made the offer.

Fawz, why are you
in such a good mood?

The American dream, my friend.
I'm living it!

For years, I'm buying buildings
in this dung-heap neighborhood.

And now Starbucks is opening.

Rents will rise,
and I will be rich!

I'm gonna have money
coming into my ass!

Great. Jack up the rent so I got
to move down to South Side

and dodge bullets
every time I go to the store.

Who is this black guy?

Actually, I go by Franco.

Only my friends
call me "black guy."

What? I'm not allowed
to say you're black?

I'm not allowed to call
black people black people?

It's cool, man.
No reason to blow up.

Ah, terrorist joke.
A first for me.

So, Arthur,
have you considered my offer?

Sorry, Fawz,
I'm not selling the shop.

Arthur, give it up!

Fancy people are
moving to Uptown,

and they don't want donuts.

They want
to drink kale smoothies

and not vaccinate
their children.

MAYA:
I'm afraid Fawz is right.

Uptown is being gentrified.

Low-income families and small
businesses are being pushed out

by soulless chains
and condominiums

for rich white people.

Uh, aren't you
a rich white person?

Yes, and I have
to live with that

every day of my life.

So, Arthur, what do you say?
I give you good price.

Just give me a couple of days
to think about it.

No, you don't have
to think about it, man.

'Cause you can't
sell this place.

It's the heart
of this neighborhood.

I remember when I was six,
my dad came back home

with a box of Superior Donuts.

We sat out on the porch
all night, eating donuts,

watching them put up
Christmas lights

on the crack house
across the street.

Damn, they worked fast!

Your point?

My point is this neighborhood
is our home.

And those people moving in--
they're not coming to join us.

They're coming to push us out.

And you got to push back, man.

You built something here,

and it deserves to live on.

Who the hell is this guy?

Yeah, who the hell are you?
Franco Wicks.

He's Franco Wicks.
He works here.

Mark my words, Arthur.

You will rue the day
you said no to me!

Ooh, that sounds
a little terrorist-y.

Sorry about that.

Have a nice day.

You will not regret this, man.

I'm gonna help you bring this
place into the 20th century.

Oh, you mean the 21st.

No, I don't.

(rattling)

(door squeaks open)

What the hell you
doing here so early?

Did we discuss
you painting my shop?

I'm a self-starter, man.
You like the color?

It's called "ancient ivory."

Like you.

Your jukebox
ate my quarter.

That thing hasn't
worked for years.

Oh, well, I was trying
to find some Biggie Smalls,

and all they had was
Little Richard.

The next time you think
of painting, ask first, okay?

Actually, you're doing
a pretty good job.

That's because I'm an artist.
Really? Oil? Water color?

I'm more of a street artist.

Oh, graffiti,
which is illegal. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. It's not graffiti.

It's social commentary.

Why is it like when a white dude

like Banksy does it,
it's great art,

but when a black dude does it,
it's graffiti?

Are you a racist?

Not yet.

Well, Basquiat started
as a street artist,

so I suppose
you're in good company.

Basquiat?
Donut Man knows his art history.

I'm shocked.

Just because I own a donut shop,
I can't like art?

I watch documentaries.

I got Netflix.

(clears his throat)
Morning, Arthur.

Hey.

Are you being robbed?

With this?

I've seen it.

No, no, he
works here.

Yeah, I work here,
fat Bruce Willis.

Name's Carl Tushinski.

People call me "Tush."

'Cause I got one you can
bounce a quarter off of.

He's my most loyal customer.

Yeah, he used to come
in here every morning

before his shift at
the John Deere factory.

Then he kept coming in when
the plant went belly-up.

Best thing that ever
happened to me.

Now I work when I want

where I want. It's called
the "gig economy."

I deliver pizzas, walk
dogs, do some modeling.

Mostly print.

I've done a hell of a lot
of "before" pictures.

You know, this place is
kind of like my office.

Oh. Ew. Is that a fax machine?

Yup. Does everything
your smart phone does,

but I found mine on a curb.

So, Arthur?

I got to make some donuts.

I know, but I have some ideas
about boosting business.

All right? Let's get
some free Wi-Fi in this place.

Or we can pass out some flyers
at the weed dispensary.

Oh! Or make this
the weed dispensary!

Are you married to donuts?

I'm just playing, man. What's
your marketing budget like?

I can totally amaze you
with $1,000.

Why don't you mildly
surprise me with $50?

Mm, I get it-- you ain't got
that kind of money.

No, I got it... in
my emergency fund.

Good luck. He hasn't touched
that in 30 years.

Well, you should,
because this is an emergency.

If you don't do something,

Starbucks gonna
put you out of business.

Come on, I can save you.

Save me?
Who are you-- Black Jesus?

Okay, first of all,
that's redundant.

I'm gonna give you, uh, $200.

Thank you.

I don't want thanks.
I want customers.

(loud, high-pitched beep)
Oh! Gig coming in!

Huh.

Hospital needs a fluid donor.

Wonder if it's blood or sperm.

Last time, I guessed wrong,
and they were not happy.

Aah, Starbucks.

Just opened. There's already
a line out the door.

Which is a good thing.

They will get
sick of waiting,

so I have a plan
to entice them over here.

Sweatpants!

This is my
friend Sweatpants.

He's gonna stand outside
and pass out flyers

and look delicious.

And I'm gonna post this video
on our new Instagram account.

All right, Sweatpants,
say your line.

Who wants to go nuts for donuts?

All right, Sweatpants,
make us proud.

And, look, don't go
north on Foster Avenue.

Some of those sprinkles
are gang colors.

You really think
that's gonna work?

Absolutely.

I also lined up
a poetry slam for tonight,

and I posted a bunch
of dope-ass Yelp reviews.

Dope-ass-- that's good, right?

Dope-ass is good.
Trust me, Arthur.

This is going to be
your biggest day in years.
Yeah, well, that would be nice.

Wish you had seen this place
in its heyday.

The factory was doing
three shifts a day,

people were having breakfast
all around the clock.

That's cool.
Yeah, this place
was stacked.

The jukebox was working.
Yeah?

The air was thick with the smell
of donuts and cigarettes.

Wonder where
those people are today.

Probably dead from
all the donuts and cigarettes.

Just saying, you can't
give someone a ticket

for being annoying.

I can, and I did.

Fine, but I'm not paying it.

Hey, Arthur, I just got
a flyer from a giant donut

named Jockstrap?

Actually, uh, his name is
Sweatpants, and I'm Franco.

Nice to meet you, Franco.
What's up?

I'm Randy DeLuca.

I've known Randy
since she was a kid.

Dad was a stubborn S.O.B.

He cheated at bowling
and never once left a tip.

(chuckles)
Best friend I ever had.

Yeah, he started bringing me
here when I was a little girl.

We'd come after school,

after church,
after Cubs games.

I was kind of a porker.

You look pretty good now.
Well,

I don't know if I should be
flattered or drug test you.

Be flattered.

Or else wait three days.

Hey, where'd that come from?

Oh, I painted it.

Let me show you.

Oh! I must
really trust you.

I just turned my back
on a Chicago cop.

I'm not gonna shoot you.

I got my body cam on.

I call this
Arthur in the Sky with Donuts.

My new employee's got
talent, don't you think?
Mm-hmm.

You like this,
Arthur?
Yeah.

You ought to think
about going to art school.

Wait a minute, why am I so dark?

That's because I repurposed
one of my old paintings.

Uh, yesterday,
those donuts were basketballs,

and you were Michael Jordan.
(laughs)

Oh. This place is so retro.

Those Yelp reviews
were right.
Yeah.

Oh, looks like our marketing
campaign is paying off.

Good job, kid.
Mm.

Welcome to
Superior Donuts.

May we interest
you in one

of our artisanal
confections,

handcrafted by our
in-house donut-eer?

Eh, I'm trying to
stay away from dairy.

Then let me move this creamer.

Do you have
anything soy-based?

No, everything here
is food-based.

Can I interest you in my,
uh, famous maple crèmes?

No, thanks. I'll have
a grande mocha macchiato.

We only sell coffee.

Isn't that coffee?

No, that's Italian
for "Overcharge me,

I'm a pretentious
millennial."

Let's get out of here.

All right, learning curve. Um,

all we got to do is adapt
to our new customer base.

You know, let me, you know,
whip up some new flavors,

like Sriracha or Nutter Butter.

That is my department.
I do the donuts.

(beeping)

Uh, gig coming in.

(grunts)

Well, guess who's going
to be the assailant

at a women's
self-defense class.

I hope they give me
a cup this time.

Look at all those people, hmm?

Not one of 'em wants
a freaking donut.

Screw you, Starbucks!

And quit giving me
that smug look!

Stupid mermaid.

All right, so it's a rough day.
Yeah.

But don't worry. Your regulars
are gonna stand by you.

Hello,
my fellow Americans!

Did you go to Starbucks?
Not cool, Fawz.

What? I have a weak spot
for the caramel Frappuccino.

Growing up in the marshes of
Iraq, all we had to drink was...

Actually, we had these.
Starbucks is everywhere.

That's something we could try,
you know,

get an espresso machine
and make those fancy drinks.

You mean spend more money? No.
Arthur,

today, you not have
so many customers.

Tomorrow will be worse.
Sell to me.

Sell to me right now!

I apologize. This is my fourth
coffee drink of the day.

I'm very just... Whew.

All right, Fawz,
how much money we talking about?

No, Arthur,
you can't sell the shop!
Hey, stop telling me what to do.

I gave you a chance.
Your ideas didn't work.

Not the painting,
not the flyers,

not the chalkboard.

Which has already been stolen.

That's it. I'm calling it.
No, you said we could
stay open late!

We still have
the poetry reading.

Roses are red, no, we don't.

You're making it really hard
for me to help you here.

Well, I don't need your help!

I got the best damn donuts
in Chicago.

I agree.
So where are the customers?

Huh? You don't think you scared
'em off 'cause you're too cranky

and stubborn
and stuck in the past?

Who are you to come in here
and talk to me like that, huh?

You come in here and tell me
how to run my business?

You can't even keep a job.

And you're barely holding on
to this one.

Okay, guys,
let's just take it down a notch.

Well, maybe I don't want to work
here. If you're just gonna

roll over and let your business
die. That's weak.

You calling me weak?
Yeah.

You're afraid
to fight for something

you poured
your whole life into.

At least
go down swinging.

You try or you die.

Well, try this.

You're fired.

Oh. What's up, Franco?

Move, man.
Hey. Where's he going?

It's time for me
to get my poetry on!

You're the poet?

Yep. Aw, damn.

Should've said, "You know it."

Ugh! I hate
this neighborhood!

It actually makes me miss Iraq.

Except for the mustard gas.

And the torture. And the traffic
on Ramadan. It's just...

What's going on, Fawz?

Follow me.

Last night, someone did the
graffiti on the Starbucks sign.

I don't see it.
Look closer.

That thing the mermaid
is holding? Not a coffee cup.

Oh. Yeah.

And it no longer says
"Starbucks," it says "Star..."

Now I see it. Yeah.

How am I going to get rich
when people stand in the way

of progress? Well,
I've called the police.

They said whoever did this
is going to jail.

Actually, I think
I know who did it.

The black guy?

Fawz, you can't keep
saying that!

It would be like you
calling me the Jew.

Oh, my God, you call
me that, don't you?

I'm not so good with names!

Hey, Arthur.
Any chance you remember

the color
of Franco's backpack?
No, how would I...

Brown.
Actually, more of a chestnut.

I remember, because it's the
same shade as his soulful eyes.

Oh, right, I'm the only one
who got lost in those things.

Nope. Me, too.

Why are you asking me
about Franco's backpack?

James is over talking
to the Starbucks manager.

He got a glimpse of the person
who spray-painted his sign,

and he was wearing
a brown backpack.

Oh, no.
Yeah.

It gets worse.

Apparently, Franco's got priors.

Nothing serious.

All graffiti-related.
But he could be looking

at doing jail time.

Why you telling me?
Kid doesn't work here anymore.

Well, he might need
a character witness.

I thought you could vouch
for him.

Why would I do that?
For one thing,
he risked going to jail

to get back at your competition.

RANDY:
You know why you're mad,
don't you?

The kid got your hopes up.

Yeah, and for what? It
didn't work out, did it?

There goes 200 bucks.
And 47 years.

Oh, Arthur, I wish
my dad was still here.

He'd put his arm around you,
look into your eyes,

and say, "Get your head
out of your ass!"
(stammers)

What are you talking about?
Franco was good for you.

You've been just going through
the motions since Joanie died.

Yesterday, you had
a gleam in your eye.

It was like
you finally woke up again.

* I awakened

* This morning

What the hell? When did
that start working?

Franco fixed it.

Sounds pretty good, doesn't it?

Yeah, it does.
See?

The kid's good for you, Arthur.

(song distorts, stops)

Not a very good repairman,
but he's good for you.

Y'all can relax.

I know I'm fired.

I just came to get my paycheck.

Franco, you mind telling us
where you were last night

around 12:30?

I don't know.
Probably at home.

Franco.
What?

This is Mr. Patterson
from the Starbucks.
That's it.

That's the brown backpack.

Please, you call that brown?

It looks orange to me.

But then again,
those self-defense ladies

used real pepper spray.

I'm sorry, Franco,
we're gonna have to take you in

for questioning.
FRANCO: Okay.
Can I call my mom?

Can I call my mom?

Uh, wait.

This is my backpack.

You're telling me
that's yours?

Yes, absolutely.

You see, it's got my, um...

afro pick.

And, um, and it's got my...

oregano.
PATTERSON:
Mm-hmm.

And my spray paint.

Which I used to, uh,
deface your store.

PATTERSON:
Okay. (chuckles)

This is a load of crap.

You're right.
It is a load of crap.

That I would commit such a, uh,

senseless act of vandalism.

But if you would, uh,
drop the charges,

I have $2,500 here

in my, um, emergency fund.

Be glad to give it to you
to cover the damages.

Are you buying
any of this?

Well, the man
said he did it.

You want the money or not?

Fine.

And once again,
the white man gets off!

Hey.

I appreciate that, man.

And I'm sorry
I got you involved.

You shouldn't have
wrecked that sign.

I know, but I was pissed.

I didn't want them putting you
out of business.

You gave me a job.

And you listened
to my ideas.

And you said I should
go to art school.

First time I mentioned
art school to my dad,

he laughed in my face.

What? The man
who brought you donuts?

(clicks tongue) It was kind of
a one-time thing.

Most of the time he was
just tearing me down,

telling me I was nothing.

I remember senior year
of high school

when I finally stood up to him.

I got back home from school

and all my stuff was
on the street.

I caught a dude trying
to steal my sweatpants.

That's how I met Sweatpants.

Well, I'm glad you're pursuing
your art, but no more vandalism.

I can't keep bailing
out my employees.

You hiring me back?

Yeah.
How's that for ass-dope?

It's dope-ass.

Thank you, man,
I appreciate that.
Yeah, well,

it wouldn't kill me to try
some new things around here.

You try or you die, right?

(chuckles)
Donut man.

I'm really feeling the urge
to hug you right now.

Resist it.
All right.

Yeah.
Okay.

Well, I'm gonna
pay you back.
Damn right.

I'm gonna deduct ten percent out
of your salary till we're even.

Sounds fair. Can I at least
get my oregano back?

I'm taking ten percent
of that, too.

Well, you're gonna need these
donuts then, ain't you?

Captioning sponsored by
CBS