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1
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Inspired by real events
2
00:00:29,743 --> 00:00:31,908
And now dear viewer,
3
00:00:32,242 --> 00:00:34,658
I'd like to tell you a story.
4
00:00:35,492 --> 00:00:39,825
Fear not, it's not one of the folk-tales
5
00:00:39,908 --> 00:00:42,032
the Parisians love so much.
6
00:00:42,368 --> 00:00:44,282
It's something else.
7
00:00:44,575 --> 00:00:46,991
So pay attention.
8
00:00:47,283 --> 00:00:51,908
It could soon I happen to you.
9
00:01:04,117 --> 00:01:08,908
EVIL SEAWEED
10
00:01:52,368 --> 00:01:56,908
MORTAL DANGER / NO DANGER
11
00:02:01,075 --> 00:02:03,032
Hello? It's the pope.
12
00:02:03,117 --> 00:02:04,725
I'm joking it's the mayor.
13
00:02:04,805 --> 00:02:06,988
I'm in a hurry. What's the result?
14
00:02:07,068 --> 00:02:08,495
Seaweed. Danger!
15
00:02:08,575 --> 00:02:10,078
You didn't understand.
16
00:02:10,158 --> 00:02:12,495
You know our economy
is based on tourism?
17
00:02:12,575 --> 00:02:14,741
So what's the result now?
18
00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:17,024
No danger.
19
00:02:17,118 --> 00:02:18,741
That's better!
20
00:02:56,409 --> 00:02:57,820
Calm down! Calm down!
21
00:02:57,900 --> 00:03:00,703
We don't know whether
the green seaweed is to blame.
22
00:03:00,783 --> 00:03:03,345
Where is he then?
That's the fourth in a month.
23
00:03:03,425 --> 00:03:05,595
Who says the scientist is dead?
24
00:03:05,675 --> 00:03:08,995
His things are still there.
Perhaps he'll come back.
25
00:03:09,075 --> 00:03:11,912
It's because of
the intensive agriculture!
26
00:03:11,992 --> 00:03:14,929
If you ate less,
we wouldn't need fertiliser.
27
00:03:15,009 --> 00:03:17,553
The soil is dead!
It has no more vitamins.
28
00:03:17,633 --> 00:03:20,754
And now nature's taking it's revenge.
29
00:03:20,834 --> 00:03:24,204
Nature's doing no such thing.
The green seaweed is not to blame.
30
00:03:24,284 --> 00:03:27,638
This morning the scientist told me
"No danger"!
31
00:03:27,718 --> 00:03:30,138
What about the gas?
Have you smelt the gas?
32
00:03:30,218 --> 00:03:32,429
We have to wear masks on the beach!
33
00:03:32,509 --> 00:03:34,579
Masks are useless.
They're even dangerous.
34
00:03:34,659 --> 00:03:36,620
No-one knows how to use them.
35
00:03:36,700 --> 00:03:38,995
Gas only kills in
science fiction films!
36
00:03:39,075 --> 00:03:43,067
You all know how important
security is for me.
37
00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:45,887
I want to find concrete solutions
38
00:03:45,967 --> 00:03:47,891
to our daily problems!
39
00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:53,120
This morning the prefect,
40
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:56,163
at my request, sent two police officers
41
00:03:56,243 --> 00:03:57,741
Jo and Josette.
42
00:03:58,675 --> 00:04:02,175
They will investigate
the disappearances.
43
00:04:04,534 --> 00:04:07,034
Now get on with your business!
44
00:04:10,118 --> 00:04:11,616
Move along!
45
00:04:12,742 --> 00:04:13,908
Fuck off!
46
00:04:23,784 --> 00:04:26,939
What about the chair?
Let the sea take it.
47
00:04:27,493 --> 00:04:30,245
Go and check over there at
the rich hippies' house.
48
00:04:30,325 --> 00:04:34,012
As soon as city folk arrive
people start disappearing.
49
00:04:34,092 --> 00:04:36,945
We can't just go inside.
we need a warrant,
50
00:04:37,025 --> 00:04:38,705
like in the movies.
51
00:05:10,493 --> 00:05:11,783
Coming?
52
00:05:16,618 --> 00:05:19,116
What's that? Is it a man?
53
00:05:20,034 --> 00:05:21,992
He's walking weirdly.
54
00:05:23,492 --> 00:05:25,199
Not another drunk!
55
00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:30,278
- Let's go back to the others.
- Yeah, it smells here.
56
00:05:43,242 --> 00:05:46,616
MAKE YOUR OWN SYNTHETIC DRUGS
57
00:05:49,517 --> 00:05:52,266
It's a bad joke. One bar!
58
00:05:52,425 --> 00:05:56,272
We're in the arse of nowhere.
That's why it smells.
59
00:05:56,617 --> 00:05:58,116
Hey, Joy!
60
00:05:58,825 --> 00:06:00,345
Has the wind changed?
61
00:06:00,425 --> 00:06:02,238
Why does it stink so much?
62
00:06:02,318 --> 00:06:05,820
It's the green seaweed on the beach,
but apparently it's not dangerous.
63
00:06:05,900 --> 00:06:08,733
- It smells disgusting!
- I know.
64
00:06:20,925 --> 00:06:22,367
Two bars!
65
00:06:34,492 --> 00:06:37,242
- How many millilitres?
- Three.
66
00:06:37,450 --> 00:06:39,374
Stir it with the pipette!
67
00:06:48,158 --> 00:06:50,658
Shit! No network!
68
00:06:55,450 --> 00:06:56,949
Well?
69
00:06:57,284 --> 00:06:59,449
No, it's not the same.
70
00:07:03,825 --> 00:07:06,782
Two drops of the red liquid.
71
00:07:09,734 --> 00:07:11,174
Two, two.
72
00:07:11,325 --> 00:07:12,741
Three?
73
00:07:48,242 --> 00:07:50,831
Wow! Oh-lala!
74
00:07:55,534 --> 00:07:58,041
No, no, no! It's very dangerous.
75
00:07:58,784 --> 00:08:00,408
It's incredible!
76
00:08:00,700 --> 00:08:02,783
OK. Put that a way
77
00:08:03,075 --> 00:08:04,829
I'll I tidy up all that
78
00:08:04,909 --> 00:08:06,263
I can handle it.
79
00:08:06,343 --> 00:08:10,620
What if the potion or your
breasts got into the wrong hands?
80
00:08:10,700 --> 00:08:12,324
But they're mine.
81
00:08:13,868 --> 00:08:17,535
We don't know what some
men are capable of.
82
00:08:25,301 --> 00:08:26,901
What's the matter?
83
00:08:27,325 --> 00:08:31,326
- Are you stuck? Shall we
start investigating? - Yes!
84
00:08:31,618 --> 00:08:35,387
We'll start by seeing what's
happening over here.
85
00:08:42,492 --> 00:08:44,828
Hands up. Bunch of crooks!
86
00:08:44,908 --> 00:08:46,379
So we're wise guys now?
87
00:08:46,459 --> 00:08:48,129
Hand over the loot!
88
00:08:48,209 --> 00:08:49,908
Move. Over there.
89
00:08:50,534 --> 00:08:52,003
There, commissioner.
90
00:08:52,083 --> 00:08:55,622
I put them in prison.
Thank you for the medal.
91
00:08:57,425 --> 00:08:58,508
Jo?
92
00:09:03,550 --> 00:09:05,649
Jo, can you see anything?
93
00:09:06,993 --> 00:09:08,274
Jo?
94
00:09:39,675 --> 00:09:40,757
Hey!
95
00:09:42,634 --> 00:09:44,245
You arsehole!
96
00:09:44,325 --> 00:09:46,124
You always trick me!
97
00:09:55,717 --> 00:09:56,899
Josette?
98
00:09:58,742 --> 00:10:00,542
Josette, are you angry?
99
00:10:07,158 --> 00:10:08,699
Josette?
100
00:10:26,992 --> 00:10:29,446
I think she's playing a trick on me!
101
00:10:29,526 --> 00:10:31,349
Ooh, I'm scared!
102
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:39,341
Josette?
103
00:10:59,750 --> 00:11:01,163
What's that horror?
104
00:11:01,243 --> 00:11:03,863
I found it in the cellar fridge.
I'm tenderising it.
105
00:11:03,943 --> 00:11:07,683
Tonight we'll have a huge,
gut-busting dinner!
106
00:11:08,134 --> 00:11:10,033
But we're vegans.
107
00:11:10,550 --> 00:11:13,741
- What?
- Meat's bad. For the dog.
108
00:11:14,075 --> 00:11:15,319
Are you crazy?
109
00:11:15,408 --> 00:11:18,362
You want to give meat to my dog?
He's vegetarian!
110
00:11:18,442 --> 00:11:22,775
You need to change your thinking.
It's prehistoric!
111
00:11:22,934 --> 00:11:24,267
WORSE THAN SHIT
112
00:11:24,992 --> 00:11:27,749
Sorry. I didn't mean to offend you.
113
00:11:27,925 --> 00:11:29,491
I'm sorry.
114
00:11:31,175 --> 00:11:33,720
I didn't mean to offend you either.
115
00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:35,299
Can I join in?
116
00:11:40,092 --> 00:11:44,012
- We're looking for the police officers.
Have you seen them? - No.
117
00:11:44,092 --> 00:11:45,874
- No?
- No!
118
00:11:46,393 --> 00:11:48,487
No, you've seen them
or no, you haven't?
119
00:11:48,567 --> 00:11:50,428
No we haven't seen them.
Is there a problem?
120
00:11:50,508 --> 00:11:52,120
The police officers have disappeared.
121
00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:55,585
Why don't you call
other police to find them?
122
00:11:56,259 --> 00:11:58,678
Very funny. What are
those bloodstains?
123
00:11:58,758 --> 00:12:00,595
- It's meat.
- What meat?
124
00:12:00,675 --> 00:12:02,392
- Steak.
- We're vegan.
125
00:12:02,568 --> 00:12:05,849
Oh yes. They're vegans who eat meat.
126
00:12:05,967 --> 00:12:08,320
Help! I've seen something horrible.
127
00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:10,378
The police officers were
attacked on the beach.
128
00:12:10,458 --> 00:12:12,766
I think it was a zombie. Look!
129
00:12:13,300 --> 00:12:15,807
Oh no! The police were attacked
130
00:12:15,925 --> 00:12:18,772
and you didn't call any other police.
131
00:12:30,884 --> 00:12:31,941
Bucket!
132
00:12:35,967 --> 00:12:39,352
Have some fertiliser.
It'll help you grow up.
133
00:12:39,642 --> 00:12:40,913
What's that?
134
00:12:40,993 --> 00:12:43,162
I'm getting it analysed.
Your seaweed stinks!
135
00:12:43,242 --> 00:12:45,220
Rubbish! You'll use it as drugs.
136
00:12:45,300 --> 00:12:47,637
You're coming with us!
Stop! You're crazy!
137
00:12:47,717 --> 00:12:49,342
Take that!
138
00:12:52,259 --> 00:12:53,758
Let me go!
139
00:12:53,975 --> 00:12:55,845
The seaweed really stinks!
140
00:12:55,925 --> 00:12:57,863
Are you sure it's not dangerous?
141
00:12:57,943 --> 00:13:00,237
What did the scientist say exactly?
142
00:13:00,317 --> 00:13:03,179
You can say anything
with scientific studies.
143
00:13:03,259 --> 00:13:05,095
What will we do with her?
144
00:13:05,175 --> 00:13:06,674
We'll spank her.
145
00:13:06,768 --> 00:13:09,692
Right here so she can tell the others.
146
00:13:12,051 --> 00:13:14,091
But there are zombies!
147
00:13:14,384 --> 00:13:15,924
Hello?
148
00:13:16,343 --> 00:13:18,959
Yes. We took samples on the beach.
149
00:13:20,009 --> 00:13:23,345
Yes. Tell the firemen
we won't do an autopsy.
150
00:13:23,425 --> 00:13:26,696
We'll cremate the body straight away.
Exactly.
151
00:13:26,776 --> 00:13:28,612
Let's go. Leave that bitch here.
152
00:13:28,692 --> 00:13:30,372
I don't give a fuck!
153
00:13:30,633 --> 00:13:32,466
But there are zombies!
154
00:13:39,592 --> 00:13:41,818
OK, now I get it!
155
00:13:41,967 --> 00:13:45,388
That's their corpse.
The guy's completely drunk!
156
00:13:45,468 --> 00:13:47,008
It's Le Bihan!
157
00:13:47,258 --> 00:13:48,487
Hey, Le Bihan!
158
00:13:48,567 --> 00:13:51,170
You arsehole!
We've been looking for you all week.
159
00:13:51,250 --> 00:13:52,800
It's Le Bihan.
160
00:13:53,134 --> 00:13:54,981
See. No-one disappeared.
161
00:13:55,093 --> 00:13:57,437
You're a fucking pain in the arse!
162
00:13:57,517 --> 00:13:59,287
You dumped us all in the shit!
163
00:13:59,367 --> 00:14:01,852
But I'm still happy to see you.
164
00:14:02,034 --> 00:14:04,220
Le Bihan, you're drunk as a skunk!
165
00:14:04,300 --> 00:14:07,383
Look at the state of you.
166
00:14:32,050 --> 00:14:36,128
The farmer puts his shitty
fertiliser into the ground.
167
00:14:36,325 --> 00:14:38,262
The water flows into the sea.
168
00:14:38,342 --> 00:14:40,095
The green seaweed forms.
169
00:14:40,175 --> 00:14:41,745
Toxic gas is emitted.
170
00:14:41,825 --> 00:14:44,120
The walker faints. The tide comes in.
171
00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:46,179
The body is absorbed
by the rotting seaweed.
172
00:14:46,259 --> 00:14:49,304
Low tide reveals the body.
It's a zombie.
173
00:14:49,384 --> 00:14:51,679
Today we'll have a very high tide, so...
174
00:14:51,759 --> 00:14:53,637
attack of, attack of?
175
00:14:53,717 --> 00:14:57,025
The zombies.
Exactly! Attack of the zombies.
176
00:15:01,759 --> 00:15:04,012
The zombies! The zombies are here!
177
00:15:04,092 --> 00:15:06,967
Stop! Wait! Don't panic!
178
00:15:08,175 --> 00:15:11,120
Stop! Don't hurt the zombies.
They're allowed to be different.
179
00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:15,258
But you're crazy!
They're going to kill us!
180
00:15:15,450 --> 00:15:17,845
You're being completely zombo-phobic!
181
00:15:17,925 --> 00:15:20,513
They just follow their instinct.
You mustn't hurt them.
182
00:15:20,593 --> 00:15:22,429
Their aggression needs
to be channeled.
183
00:15:22,509 --> 00:15:25,054
Perhaps not a white,
heterosexual zombie over 45.
184
00:15:25,134 --> 00:15:26,887
But we can't impose our culture on them.
185
00:15:26,967 --> 00:15:29,262
So we'll welcome them.
Who's coming with me?
186
00:15:29,342 --> 00:15:31,695
We need to go down stairs
to close the shutters.
187
00:15:31,775 --> 00:15:33,691
Yes! Close the shutters!
188
00:15:33,826 --> 00:15:36,217
I found it! Give it to me!
189
00:15:36,509 --> 00:15:39,799
Brilliant Muppet! Congratulations!
190
00:15:43,050 --> 00:15:45,132
They've seen us!
191
00:15:45,509 --> 00:15:48,382
Go and close the shutters! Come on!
192
00:15:49,175 --> 00:15:52,924
Let's welcome them.
It's great. They're here!
193
00:15:54,342 --> 00:15:56,967
Come in, come in!
194
00:15:59,175 --> 00:16:04,133
The zombies are here!
They're coming! Welcome!
195
00:16:09,550 --> 00:16:11,230
What are you doing?
196
00:16:13,217 --> 00:16:14,717
Get lost!
197
00:16:15,009 --> 00:16:17,008
We're here! Welcome!
198
00:16:17,425 --> 00:16:18,967
Go away!
199
00:16:19,408 --> 00:16:21,529
They're coming! Get the weapons!
200
00:16:21,609 --> 00:16:24,549
A knife! a knife!
201
00:16:33,468 --> 00:16:34,824
Please! Stop!
202
00:17:19,675 --> 00:17:21,174
Mister?
203
00:17:36,259 --> 00:17:38,466
Marinella.
204
00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:41,799
Take my phone please.
205
00:17:43,284 --> 00:17:45,132
Put it in my hand.
206
00:17:45,325 --> 00:17:47,924
No. That's the zombie's foot.
207
00:17:49,383 --> 00:17:51,799
We'll take a little selfie.
208
00:17:52,675 --> 00:17:55,299
Kiss me before I die.
209
00:17:55,592 --> 00:17:59,792
- OK. But it's only because you
don't have much time. - Thank you.
210
00:18:01,425 --> 00:18:04,426
We'll add a little filter. Cat's ears.
211
00:18:05,008 --> 00:18:07,220
No, this one... Halloween, look!
212
00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:08,833
Hurry up!
213
00:18:23,717 --> 00:18:26,095
What's all this? Are you going out?
214
00:18:26,175 --> 00:18:28,862
It's not what you think.
It was to make him happy.
215
00:18:28,942 --> 00:18:31,429
You kissed him to make him happy?
216
00:18:31,509 --> 00:18:33,258
I can't let that go.
217
00:18:33,584 --> 00:18:35,970
Ah, there they are! Come on zombies.
218
00:18:36,050 --> 00:18:37,720
The others are upstairs.
219
00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:40,570
We'll go and meet them. Follow me!
220
00:18:41,175 --> 00:18:44,717
What are you doing?
I'm here to help you!
221
00:18:45,217 --> 00:18:48,064
I don't blame you. It's your culture.
222
00:18:50,509 --> 00:18:54,740
I don't believe it.
He's wants to eat my arse. You pig!
223
00:18:59,159 --> 00:19:00,625
No! No!
224
00:19:02,842 --> 00:19:05,507
That's mine! Give it back!
225
00:19:06,675 --> 00:19:09,424
Stop eating meat. Become vegan.
226
00:19:57,884 --> 00:20:00,591
Open the door!
227
00:20:06,300 --> 00:20:07,841
Hurry up!
228
00:20:21,050 --> 00:20:23,743
Give me some too! You ate them all!
229
00:20:33,076 --> 00:20:35,012
What am I supposed to do? Fake it.
230
00:20:35,092 --> 00:20:37,612
Lift up you tee shirt and
pretend you have laser beams.
231
00:20:37,692 --> 00:20:41,877
I'm not showing my breasts to zombies.
I don't go topless at the beach.
232
00:21:17,159 --> 00:21:19,113
They don't look too great!
233
00:21:19,193 --> 00:21:21,709
And they were supposed to tidy up.
234
00:21:40,609 --> 00:21:44,859
I'm sorry. They just went off.
It was an accident.
235
00:22:49,518 --> 00:22:52,016
So, have you understood?
236
00:22:52,159 --> 00:22:56,282
People don't respect nature.
237
00:22:56,758 --> 00:23:01,432
But the consequences
arrive much later.
238
00:23:01,550 --> 00:23:04,388
So at the next high tide,
239
00:23:04,468 --> 00:23:06,970
when you go hunting for shellfish,
240
00:23:07,050 --> 00:23:09,130
don't forget to take...
241
00:23:09,300 --> 00:23:10,924
a little pill!
16755
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