All language subtitles for The Almighty Johnsons S03E09 Mike in the Mirror 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP2 0 H 264-Kitsune_track4_[eng]

ANDERS: She is way too smart
and she is so not your type.

COLIN: Word in her ear, your
sweet powers of persuasion,

just to tip her over the edge.

ANDERS: Never.

[flames whooshing]

[screaming]

That's right.

Hod's back.

Don't go down that road, Mike.

What road?

The Odin road.

JOE: You love
running this family.

If you weren't in charge,
you'd be bloody miserable.

- You're a miracle worker.
- That's me.

It won't do anything for you.

It's a chick thing.

Jormungandr is stirring.

Yes, Mike.
Big time.

If I, Odin, find the Frigg,
then the first thing I'll do

is deal to Jormungandr and
therefore stop Ragnarok.

And thereby save the world?

Exactly.

[music playing]

I am Frigg.

I seek a man-god worthy
of being named Odin.

[shutters]

I've got it.

I've so got it.

Whatever it is,
I don't want it.

I had this incredible dream.

I saw the Frigg.

You saw her?

In a beer commercial.

For "Odin's Ale."

This is how we find her.

Watching beer commercials?

Making beer commercials.

[groans]

I've got to stop bringing
home free pizzas, man.

Mozzarella buildup must
be destroying your brain.

We call for auditions
for the commercial.

To try out, girls have to have
all the things Frigg might be.

Norwegian heritage-- C to D cup.

Where is it prophesied
about Frigg's bra size?

That was more for me.

We'll leave that out.

Point is, rather than search
for a needle in a haystack,

we get the Frigg to come to us.

We smoke her out.

Odin's Ale?

Is it, like, a lager or
more of a hoppy kind--

Our beer doesn't exist, Axl.

That's the beauty of the plan.

We don't have to make the beer.

We don't have to make the ad.

We just have to
hold the auditions,

and she will come to us.

Yes.

On second thought, this
might be our best idea ever.

[theme - gin wigmore, "oh my"]

THEME SONG: Oh, my God, I'm
beaten in the game of love.

And I fall down.

I fall down on my knees, I fall.

DAWN: Gunderson issued
a statement withdrawing

from the mayoral campaign
for personal reasons,

effective immediately.

And the city is saved.

He is such a wanker.

You hold onto that thought.

A well-paying wanker.

Money's not everything.

And you hold onto that thought
while we go out of business.

Something else
will come along,

something more
acceptable than Colin.

Is that what you were doing
the other night in the alley?

How do you mean?

Telling Colin how
unacceptable his business is?

Uh, yeah, something like that.
Why?

What did you see?

Nothing.

I left, like you told me to.

Why was Ty there?

To help me if Colin
didn't like what I said?

You know what a coward I am.

Ah, young people
up before midday.

Must be important.

We're here to pick your brains.
Hey, Dawn.

- Hey.
- Then pick away.

Yeah, it's kind of about our,
um, you know, mutual problem.

- Zeb?
- Hey.

No, not him.

The problem we have--

mutually.

Would you like
me to leave, Axl?

Yeah, if that's OK.

Well, I'll go and stand
on a street corner yelling,

"Anyone here need PR?"

You go and do that, Dawn.

So, what mutual problem?

Finding Frigg.

Ah.

To clarify, you're still
pursuing the quest?

Of course.

It's my duty as Odin.

Last I recall, you
took off with Dad

to find yourself or some
such shit, and not Frigg.

Yeah, well, I'm back now
and I'm totally on the quest.

How?

We got Ingrid all over
researching the genealogy crap,

except for the fact that she's
kind of gone missing lately.

Good start.

And?

And I'm using my pizza
delivery job as a cover

for, as I think of it,
"intuitive covert research."

Meaning you're hoping you
stumble across your goddess

by delivering her dinner.

Yes.

And how's that
working out for you?

It's early days, but now
we have the best idea ever.

Hold open auditions
for the role of Frigg

and a fake beer commercial.

We just need to make a big
noise, get the word out there.

So the real Frigg will
hear and get curious.

And that's where
I come in, right?

Yes, to spread the word.

The word that
two halfwits have

had possibly the lamest idea
in the history of thought?

How is this lame?

If you're Frigg,
why in Thor's name

would you want to be
in an ad playing Frigg?

Doesn't that kind
of blow your cover?

I thought you wanted
to help with my quest.

Look, I am your
quest's biggest fan.

- You know that.
- Then why won't you help?

Because it's a terrible
idea that will end everyone

- involved in shit.
- Fine.

- We'll do it by ourselves.
- OK, good luck.

I mean that sincerely.

No, you don't.

You're just as bad as Mike.

Whoa, whoa, what's
Mike got to do with this?

Doesn't matter.

All right, look, OK,
look, so I will help.

By organizing the auditions?

No, by tracking down Ingrid.

Because that's the least
stupid one of your ideas,

just above the pizza one.

But as for the ad, boys,
you're on your own.

MIKE: You know, for
someone so overworked,

you're kind of glowing.

Thank you.

Medicine can be a
very fulfilling career

if you let it.

Right.

This great research
project of yours.

The pathophysiology
and treatment

of metabolic bone diseases.

That, yeah.

The one that means that you're
working every hour of every day

at the hospital.

Not every hour of every day.

Will this research project
be going on much longer?

Things will be
back to normal soon.

I'll make it up
to you, I promise.

[giggling]

How about you?

Maybe start on downstairs today?

Maybe, see how it goes.

Well, whatever you do,
you have a great day, OK?

Yeah, you too.

She's hiding something.

I know she is.

She is a woman.

It's in their nature.

She knows that I know, but
she's waiting for me to ask.

Then ask.

[scoffs]

You really haven't learned
much in your 90-whatever years,

have you?
[laughs]

About women?

Of course not.

Oh, It's OK.

I just need one, thanks.

Doesn't being suspicious tend
to indicate a bit of a problem

in the trust department?

Yeah, but if I act on it, and
it turns out to be something I

have no right to be
suspicious about,

then the trust is breached.

OK, this is
where relationships

and me part company.

OLAF: So is she
having an affair?

MIKE: No.

OLAF: You sound pretty
sure for a suspicious man.

Well, why would she?

True, Mike.

You're all the man
any woman needs.

Affairs bring guilt.
Michelle's not guilty.

She's content.

She's suspiciously
content about something.

I suspect it might
be a goddess thing.

OK, stay away from that shit.

MIKE: Yeah, exactly.

I think she's
plotting to kill you.

I'm just saying.

How's it going?

Good, thanks.

Nah.

If she wants me to know
what sort of goddessy shit

she's got going
on, she'll tell me.

Well, that would seem logical.

And, just out of interest,
have you told her

about your godly
shit that you're

now using for monetary
gain on a regular basis?

Hell, no.

Good.

As long as there's no
double standard here.

Shut up, Grandpa.

So I'll ask for
this week's wages

in advance to pay
for camera hire.

Take a look.

[music playing]

AXL: Whoa, good work.

Man, screw Anders
and his scorn.

He's old.

This is our world
now, and we have

pages on every major
social media site

all linked back to
our audition page.

Best part is--

100-plus responses already.

AXL: Man.

Got a good feeling
about this one, man.

You're in my chair.

Where's Ingrid
freeloading these days?

I wish I could
help you with that,

but I haven't seen her in ages.

You know, busy lives.

We don't cross paths that often.

You're lying your
arse off, and you

are the world's worst liar.

With not much in the
arse department either.

Get out of my chair.

Tell you what, you tell
me where Ingrid is right now

and you can have
your chair back.

[music playing]

[dinging]

There is also a 20% deposit
on your own personal healing

session should you
wish to book one

after ship you've
heard the healer speak.

Oh, well, goodness.

What are you doing here?

I'd quite like to meet
this goddess healer actually.

She sounds neat.

No, that's not
possible, I'm afraid.

Why not?

It's a woman thing.

You deny me because
I have a penis, Ingrid.

I mean, that doesn't--
that doesn't sound right.

Women sometimes
ask, how did I learn

to do these wonderful things?

I'll tell you a secret.

I didn't learn anything.

What I did was unlearn.

I unlearned doubts, I unlearned
fear, I unlearned distrust.

And when I left those things
behind me, I found me.

We know that the
world is full of those

who are all about themselves--

self-interested,
the manipulators.

But today, ladies, you take the
first steps in saying goodbye

to those negative energies.

Today, you turn
away from the things

that are holding you back.

The things that are causing
you pain, making you sick.

Today, with me, you begin
the journey to discover

the goddess that lies within.

Today, you allow
yourselves to be

the women you were born to be.

The healers' one-on-one
sessions will start in half

an hour in the executive suite.

We still have one
or two spaces left.

I'm sorry I didn't stay for
the whole empowering blah,

blah, blah, blah
spiel, but I didn't

want to undermine your beautiful
words by laughing so hard,

I wet my pants.

You don't belong here.

Because I have a prick?

Because you are a prick.

It's good to see you got rid
of all those negative energies.

Hey, look, I really
like what you're

doing in the whole new
age crap, Michelle.

Goddess healer-- excellent.

Now my educated
guess is that you're

healing these suckers
of their aches and pains

with Yggdrasil, aren't you?

I'm changing people's lives.

With my stick.

You're talk, I'm action,
and that is what the goddess

healer is all about.

Using her powers
to do some good.

And a pile of cash.

Go away, Anders.

I just want to help, or
put another way, I want in.

Hey, what's Mike's
opinion on you doing this?

I'm just interested to know.

[dinging]

Get in.

OK.

[sighs]

[music playing]

Thanks for coming.

I thought we should
check out the set

before we shoot tomorrow.

In the film industry,
we call this "a recce."

All good.

I just have to be quick
because I'm on a job.

In the pizza industry, we
would call this "a delivery."

I've been working
on the script.

It's really quite good.

They're doing a
production of "Oklahoma."

We just need to be out by 6:30.

"The setting sun
reflects over the fjords."

Do fjords have wishing wells?

We have to work
around their set.

You'll be in your
producer's chair over there.

I'll be operating the camera.

I've put together a final
list of auditionees.

It'll be tight, but I
think we can get them all.

Shit, Zeb.

The name of the Frigg could
be right here in my hands.

[music playing]

When she walks in that
door, and the lights go nuts

and we finally find
her, we save the world.

[laughs]

Boom.

I like waking up inside you.

[knocking]

Hello, Ty?

Ty, it's Dawn.

Ty?

Hello?

Ty.

Dawn?

Shit.

I just came around to give
you back your cupcake thingy,

and the back door was open.

Well, this is so rude.

It must look terrible.

Yeah, thought I might have
to use my martial arts skills.

Since it's you,
I'll let you off.

Thanks, that was thoughtful.

No worries.

So, are you still
doing your ice carving?

That's an odd thing to ask.

How do you know about that?

You must have
mentioned it once.

I don't remember doing so.

But, you do, right?

Or you used to.

Used to, yeah.

Listen, Dawn, I'm kind of
busy and I'm pretty sure you

need to get back to work.

Oh, yeah, yeah, you're right.

Flat out at the office.

Sorry if I offended you
barging in like this.

It's always nice to see you.

OK, well, see you soon.

So you know, there is a fine
line between healing and pain.

But you're good at both?

Oh, yes.

And--

[groans]

If you screw this up,
I will be very unhappy.

All I want to do is watch.

I bet you like to watch.

No, I like to participate,
but we can get to that later.

[phone ringing]

Right, can I just--

Ty, this is a really bad time.

Did you tell Dawn
about me ice carving?

Of course not.

Why would I want to do
that, bore her to death?

[knocking]

- Look, I have to go.
- In there.

Do not make a sound.

If you do, I have another
use for the stick.

The same technique
they use on baby seals.

[clears throat]

Healer, this is Ngaire, who's
been troubled with lumbago

for much of her life.

Ngaire, this is
Michelle, the healer.

Hello.

Hello.

My friend Deirdre said to tell
you that her endometriosis is

completely--

oh, sorry.

The healer prefers it
if you don't talk so

that she can summon her powers.

Please close your eyes.

OK.

I've seen dozens of
doctors about it.

I've tried every--

Shh.

Yes, sorry.

You can open your eyes.

How do you feel now?

I don't feel any pain.
It's all gone.

Oh, my Lord.

Then go on with your life.

Be the goddess you can be.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Ingrid?

OK, Ngaire, you
need to come with me.

The healer is not big
on physical contact.

[popping]

Congratulations.

Quite a show.

I do what I can.

My favorite is the
woman with the bunions--

that look on your face when
you had to touch her feet.

I bring profound change
into people's lives.

Admirable.

What do you get paid?

This is about
women helping women.

Wonderful, and what
goes in the bank?

I've thought that maybe 5k
for two hours work, tops.

I could do without the
hugging and the tears.

Healed people can be so needy.

But still--

5,000?

It's not bad compensation.

For performing miracles?

I'd say you're selling
yourself short.

Last guy that did
this sort of thing,

started a multinational
business that's

been going on 2,000 years.

Ingrid and I are
being very discreet.

And you're cocking it
up on that front, too.

It's what we agreed
on as partners.

And what does your
partner bring to the deal?

Ingrid organizes things--
venues, bookings, one-on-one

appointments, the financials.

She is surprisingly good at it.

Hmm, yeah, yeah,
except for the bit where

you should be making
millions and it's

all going to end in disaster.

So what's your split, 90/10?

50/50.

[laughs]

Oh, oh, you're not joking?

Oh, boy, you're doing this
wrong in every possible way.

INGRID: Another good day's work.

Another ecstatic bunch
of newly, healthy women.

Oh, what's he still doing here?

I'm witnessing
miracles, Ingrid.

The healing of the
lumbago, hallelujah.

He was watching?

I thought you kicked him out.

This is sacred goddess space.

It's all right.

Anders is like a goddess in that
he has no penis to speak of.

Well, on that charming
note, I should take my leave.

Keep up the good work, ladies.

[music playing]

[clinking]

TY: Olaf.

OLAF: Hey, Ty.

I think I'm addicted.

Can we go somewhere
else and talk?

Or we can talk here.

Unless you want to wait
until these little balls

stop popping out of the ground
and daring me to hurt them.

[clinking]

Dawn asked me today
about ice carving.

Well, that's good, isn't it?

You like ice carving.

Could be a hobby
you do together.

No, she remembered I did it.

[clinking]

That's also good, isn't it?

No, it means Hod is back.

I thought we already
established Hod was back.

In bursts when I'm revved
up, and Hod's not the me

I wanted to remember.

There's just way
too much baggage.

Like almost killing
her and so forth.

Yes.

I'm screwed if I'm a god,
I'm scared if I'm not.

Basically, I'm just screwed.

Hitting golf balls seems to
make everything a lot better.

You need to try it.

What I need is to keep as
far as possible away from Dawn.

[clinking]

Now that is almost
as good as surfing.

Honesty equals freedom?

I still don't see
why you let him watch.

He's probably blabbing
to everyone right now.

He won't do that.

I've finally got my own
place, paying my bills at last,

and I know he's
going to barge in,

not caring about anyone
else like he always

does, and ruin everything.

Ingrid, unlearn
fear, unlearn distrust.

Eh?

I'd like to unlearn
Anders Johnson.

You think Yggdrasil
can help with that?

I can control Anders,
so don't you worry.

Another tough day?

It had its moments.

Rolling back the
frontiers of medicine, eh?

Something you want
to talk about, Mike?

Because we can talk if you want.

No, I'm good.

[music playing]

[chatter]

Thank you.

Thanks for coming.

Thank you.

Thanks for coming.

Thanks for coming.

Hey, anyone need a script?

Script, anyone?

Ladies, welcome.

The producer and I-- thank
you for your enthusiasm

for our project.

I just-- a little housekeeping.

The role we are
auditioning for is Frigg.

Frigg is a Norwegian goddess,

We have some bad news for
the following auditionees.

Indira Singh, Teuila Fa--

amasino.

[music playing]

I am Frigg of the fjords.

When I look out upon the icy
waters of my Norwegian home,

I think of the purity of
rain fallen from the heavens.

[WHISPERS] This
isn't the script.

Well, I made a few tweaks.

And thank you,
that's all we need.

You were awesome.

We'll let you know.

[music playing]

I am Frigg of the fjords.

When I look out upon the icy
waters of my Norwegian home,

I think of the purity of rain--

Nope.

And thank you.

I am Frigg of the fjords.

When I look out upon the icy
waters of my Norwegian home--

Thank you.
We'll let you know.

I am Frigg of the fjords.

Nope.

And thank you.

TRYOUTEE: I am
Frigg of the fjords.

Sorry.

I am Frigg of the fjords.

No, sorry, not
what we're after.

Thank you.

You sure?

Yeah, Zeb.

I am Frigg of the fjords.

No.

Sorry, thank you.

Would it help if
I took my top off?

I am Frigg of the fjords, and
when I look out upon the icy

waters of my Norwegian home--

Don't you dare say a word.

TRYOUTEE: --rain falling
from the heavens,

I think about the beach--

Everything OK?

Sorry.

I'm here for my meeting
with Anders Johnson.

I'm from State of Mind, the
mental health research group,

about the rebranding?

I'm sorry, Anders
didn't mention you.

He can't be far away.

Won't be a tic.

[ringing]

ANDERS: It's Anders.
Beep coming.

[beep]

Anders, your meeting is here.

Call me back ASAP with when
you can get into the office.

I'm really sorry about this.

You're a jaw person.

Sorry?

People hide their stress
in different places.

You carry yours in your jaw.

Rubbing the side of your
jaw to release the tension,

dealing with the symptom
can help with the cause.

Seems to me you
have two choices.

Either put up with something
that's driving you nuts,

or take a risk and talk to them.

Being honest can set you free.

I'll reschedule.

So, wait, who are you?

Dude, this is hopeless.

Jormungandr is out there in
the depths girding his loins--

I don't think a
serpent has loins.

- -and we're here
watching countless bimbos

recite meaningless lines.

Meaningless?

We've seen 100 girls, dude.

Not one of them has had a
sniff of a Frigg vibe at all.

Hey, are you the beer guys.

We're the filmmakers, yes.

So you recognize Joelle then?

Or maybe not now you can't
see my fiance's nipples.

Your fiancee?

Did you tell her
to take her top off?

No, she offered.

I asked you if you wanted
me to, and you didn't say no.

You didn't give us a chance.

Does she get the role?

No, I'm sorry.

Why not?

Because she didn't quite
have what it takes, I'm afraid.

So you two get to
stare at her tits

and she gets nothing out of it?

That's show business, man.

[grunts]

Bullshit.

Your beer's shit, too.

ZEB: You OK?

Ow.

He said he'd talk to you
about a rebranding campaign.

Do you have a name?

No, he never actually said it,
and then he just kind of left.

You all right?

You don't normally
forget meetings.

I didn't.

He said he arranged it with you.

You seem a bit stressed.

Yes, maybe, so?

Go take the day off.

It's not like we're
rushed off our feet.

Understatement of the year.

Go do things for you.

I have things to do for me.

Like what?

None of your business.
Go, go.

Called a mental health day.

You're clearly in need of one.

[ringing]

I can't feel my face now.

How's it looking?

Oh, OK, not good.

I can't see out of it.

Not surprising.

Shit.

What the--

Man, he got you
a good one, huh?

Mike?

Who else would it be?

Me, given that it's me
looking in the mirror at me.

But you are looking at a
reflection of yourself, Axl.

It's a concussion.

The prick hit me so hard, my
brain bounced against my skull.

No, Axl, it's really me.

Which is to say it's really you.

What the hell
are you on about?

Ullr, Odin-- one in the same.

No, they're not.

Ullr is Odin by another night.

The true Odin.

I am Odin.

That's my destiny.

Destiny is what happens next.

Destiny is that I will
find her before you will,

because I can find anything.

Why are you saying all this?

You gave it a shot,
Axl, trying to be Odin.

But everything you do
turns to shit, doesn't it?

So I'm telling you to walk away.

It's time for Ullr
to become Odin.

It's better, Axl.

Zeb!

For you, for our family.

I really need you in here.

For the world.

What?

OK, tell me what
you see in the mirror.

I see Zeb and Axl.

Why?

- Mike was here.
- In the mirror?

Yeah, he was
there, now he's gone.

I was just talking to him.

ZEB: When?

Just now.

Dude, you weren't
talking to anyone.

I was standing right outside.

I didn't hear any talking.

That guy hit you pretty hard.

Maybe you need a brain scan.

[knocking]

Thought I'd come in the
conventional way this time.

By being asked.

Right, yeah, of course.

Sorry.

Dawn, it's really nice to
see you and everything,

but I'm kind of busy.

I'll be fast.

What's wrong with your face?

What?

Nothing, no, just
something some guy

told me to do when I'm stressed.

Why are you stressed?

Because after what
I'm about to say,

you'll probably run the other
way every time you see me

and I wouldn't blame you.

But I've just realized
I've got to be honest.

What do you mean honest?

With myself.

That I have to ask.

That I have to know.

Know what?

Were we lovers once?

And not just ordinary lovers.

Real, deep as it gets, till
the end of time type stuff?

And, I don't know, maybe
something happened.

Something that made us stop.

I don't know what, but
maybe it was so terrible

that I blocked everything out.

But when it's that big,
you can't just lock it

up because it's going to echo.

Oh, God.

I'm sorry.

I've made a complete
idiot of myself.

I'm sorry.

I'm-- I'll never
disturb you again.

I'm going to go now.

Yes.

Yes, we were.

I loved you with all
my heart, and I'm

pretty sure you felt the same.

If I threw up now,
it would kind of

destroy the moment, right?

Why did I-- how
did I forget that?

Because, if I am
honest with you,

which apparently is
the path to freedom,

our love disappeared when
I stopped being a god.

[sighs]

OK, if this is
some kind of joke--

if you and Anders are
going to get drunk

and laugh about this later--

It's not a joke.

It's weird, it's insane,
but it's very, very real.

This is-- was--

is my life, Oh, shit.

I am the living incarnation
of the Norse god

of all things dark
and cold, Hod.

Look me up on Wiki.

Anyway, we fell in love, and
the unfortunate side effect

of me being Hod was
that I tended to almost

kill you by freezing you.

My cold thing gets
kind of out of control

when I get emotional.

The alley.

The what?

There was snow in the alley.

You saw that?

You were meant to have gone.

That's when it all
came flooding back.

Right, of course.

The reason you'd forgotten
is that for a while there,

I stopped being a
god, which was good.

But when I wasn't a
god anymore, you forgot

I existed, which was very bad.

And the reason you can remember
me now is that I'm Hod again.

Feel free to flee
anytime you like.

So you're this god
who makes stuff cold?

Yes.

You saw the snow.

And that sort of stuff
happens when you're emotional?

It makes it a lot worse, yes.

So why isn't it cold in here?

Sorry?

Is this not emotional for you?

I mean, my emotions
are all over the place.

I am a mess of emotions
right now, all over the show.

And now?

Now I feel like
this huge weight has

been lifted off my shoulders.

Maybe I cured you.

What if you haven't?

I'll take my chances.

[ringing]

Hello?

We need to talk.

You didn't say everything
you needed to say?

I kind of stopped listening.

We have much to discuss.

And you want it,
you know you do.

Stop with the
saucy pickup lines.

Well, the alternative is
I come over there tonight.

We discuss it with Mike.

I don't respond well
to blackmail, Anders.

My place in 20.

[giggles]

[sighs]

- My god.
- What?

- What's wrong?
- No, I mean you.

That's what you are, right?

My own handsome,
kind, gorgeous god.

Yes, that's me.

So how did it come about
anyway, this Hod god thing?

I was born.

It's kind of in our DNA.

What, your whole family?

Anders is a god?

Yep.

What, there's a Norse god
of the meaningless root?

He's Bragi, god of poetry.

[laughing]

No, seriously.

What, is there a power
associated with this?

Yes.

Yes, there is.

Look, this whole word of mouth
among the sisterhood bullshit.

You cure someone,
they tell 10 people.

You cure them, they
tell 10 more people.

And pretty soon, it's
fucking "Life of Brian"

and you're the new Messiah,
and we all know how

it ends for the Messiah, right?

Go on.

I warn you, it
requires you to leave

your massive ego at the door.

Imagine, if you will, a luxury
spa, a retreat where clients

go for the whole package.

They're in beautiful
surroundings,

they escape from the
world, and some of them

get their ailments healed.

Some of them?

Yeah, the ones you deem
worthy and who pay the most

exorbitant fees, of course.

And the rest?

They go home, they've had
a nice break from reality.

I mean, hell, half of them
will think they've been cured.

What do you call it,
the placebo effect?

You never meet them, plus
you don't get to touch them.

Won't they feel cheated not
meeting the goddess healer?

No, she's gone.

She doesn't exist anymore.

Look, Michelle,
this way-- my way--

no one knows it's you
that's doing the healing.

You're a masseuse, you're
a physical therapist,

a consultant--
whatever fits the bill

and allows you lay
your hands on them

and do your healing thing
without this big arrow pointing

towards you saying she's
the one, she's the Messiah,

persecute her.

And the best thing is the
clientele that I'm bringing?

They don't do hugging.

I'll discuss it with Ingrid.

Ditch Ingrid.

She is deadwood.

Here's the thing, Anders,
whatever you may think

about this whole thing being a
big Pilates workout for my ego,

I am not ditching Ingrid.

Goddesses stick together.

But if you can truly
deliver, then we

have something to talk about.

You bet I can.

Prove you can do
more than just talk.

Bring me a man willing to pay
$50,000 to the goddess healer.

Do that, you're in the game.

Done.

Should you
actually be drinking

when you have a brain injury?

I don't have a
brain injury, Zeb.

I definitely saw
Mike in the mirror.

I'm sure you did.

Just like a vision when
he was totally telling

you what he was going
on inside his head.

The snake.

I am such an idiot.

I'm sure your beer commercial
was not the best idea ever.

No, not that.

Mimir.

Say what?

Mimir's Well.

Well, good on Mimir.

Whereas I'm particularly
unwell and in pain.

No, Mimir's Well.

It was a thing.

Man, it would help
if you actually

read and understood the myths.

OK, as I've said, they're
weird, they make no sense,

and then half the time Olaf
tells me they're bullshit.

OK, in Asgard, you, Odin,
got water from Mimir's Well.

Mimir was the guy who owned it.

And?

And something
happened to Mimir's

Well, that gave
Odin great insight

into the truths of the world.

- You want to know what it was?
- Thrill me.

His eye.

He pulled out his eye and
placed it into the well.

By sacrificing his
eye, he was able to see

things as they really are.

You're saying because
I damaged my eye--

You now see the truth.

That Mike is
plotting against you.

No, that's bullshit.

No way can he ever be Odin.

It's totally plausible
is all I'm saying.

No way.

All the signs said
that I was Odin.

And in your family, the
signs have never been wrong?

OK, you're started
to bum me out now, man.

No way would Mike ever try and
shaft me out of being Odin.

A brother does not plot
against his own brother, Zeb.

You've never heard
of Cain and Abel?

This isn't flying a kite, man.

Mike wants your throne.

He wants to replace
you as Allfather.

Mike.

He wants me to come
to his place now.

Did Ty say what this urgent
family meeting is about?

No, he did not.

Well, is it
going to take long?

What's this family
meeting about?

Did Axl's fake beer ad backfire
spectacularly as predicted?

What?

Yeah, I'm not surprised he
didn't tell you about that.

Cattle call for
potential Friggs.

It's kind of putting your
head above the parapet, eh?

Wouldn't want that happening.

AXL: Guys.

[laughs]

Look at the shiner.

Long story.

And would this story
involve a very public

campaign to find
the goddess Frigg

through some bogus beer ad?

What if it does?

Awesome.
Tremendous thinking.

Did it work?

Does it look like
it worked, Mike?

Is she here with me now?

Why is it your concern anyway?

I am trying to keep this
family out of the spotlight.

Head down, you know?

Living in the real world, and
you pull a stunt like this?

Who says we have
to do what you say?

Sorry?

Hey, everyone.

- Um--
- Hi, Dawn.

[groans]

Don't you ever pull that
Bragi shit with me again.

Sorry.

Got a bit ahead of the
announcement, didn't I?

TY: Teensy bit.

She knows?

Mm-hmm.

You told her?

And you have no idea
how good it feels.

You have no idea.

It's all right, Mike.

I got this one.

Dawn, listen to me.

While I think it's great
that you're in love with Ty,

you really need
to forget about--

Are you trying to
do your thing on me?

Is that what he does
when he does his thing?

I thought it was just mumbling.

We will talk about
this at the office.

Anders is gonna get his beans.

And it's a power,
not a "thing."

What is wrong with you people?

Can you not understand
that our very survival

depends on us not doing the
shit that you did today?

We don't fucking advertise
our presence to the world.

We don't bring mortals
in whenever we feel

like it because pretty soon--

pretty soon we
will be the freaks

that everyone knows
about and we will

be hunted out of existence.

Am I the only one who gets this?

Am I!

Mike, Ty and Dawn are in love.

We should be happy for them.

Then great for them,
but they need to know--

Ty needs to be
reminded that when you

bring a mortal into
our midst, it is

part of a much bigger picture.

Thanks, Mike.

Thanks for taking the
happiest day of my life

and pissing them over it.

[music playing]

Welcome to my world.

Who are you to say what we
should and shouldn't do, Mike?

Uh, well, I'm the one
who got you this far.

Without a lot of
help, I might add.

AXL: Oh, and where
are we exactly?

Sorry?

What do you want us to
do, Mike, in your world?

We're not chasing
some idiotic idea we're

responsible for global warming.

That would be good for starters.

Message received.

Loud and clear.

Great work, Mike.

Way to forge family unity.

No wonder everyone's behind
you every step of the way.

I can tell from
this you've set up

camp on the high moral ground.

Good luck with that, Michael.

I'll be at the driving
range if you need me.

Well, I'll be upstairs
when you're ready.

What?

No way are you me,
and you never will be.

[music playing]