All language subtitles for The Almighty Johnsons S03E06 And Then on to Norsewood 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP2 0 H 264-Kitsune_track4_[eng]

I am in need of you.

I want all of this to be mine.

I'm running for mayo.

You and I rule
the city like Gods.

Dad's back in town.

Our dad.

You're kidding, right?

Johan's power is to put
oil on troubled waters.

If I had your power, I would
be living in a penthouse.

Now you answer my questions.

But I've got lots more.

Like how could you abandon us?

Well, we need to make
time to answer them.

So is this what Colin meant
when he said you're the most

powerful goodness in town?

It won't do anything for you.

It's a chick thing.

You're taking off, aren't you?

Thought I might head down
to Norsewood, actually.

Fancy a road trip?

Yeah.

Let's do it.

AXL: Hi, Mike.

MIKE: Hey.

Just checking in, bro.

Wondering now you're getting on.

MIKE: Getting on just fine.
Yeah.

Cool.
Cool.

Dad still with you?

Yes, Mike.

Is he coming back or not?

- Is that Zeb?
- Yeah.

When?

- When are you coming back?
- Dunno.

- He doesn't know.
- No.

No.

That's not OK.

I'm the only one paying rent.

Apparently, you owe him money.

And what else is new?

Oh, I could-- by all means.

Just so you know, I have
precisely no flatmates.

What about Amelia?

She left, thanks to you.

After I did what?

Turn my back on her so she
could literally stab it.

She explained that she forgot
she was holding the knife.

Wow.

That sounds
incredibly plausible.

The point is, either you come
back soon, or in lieu of rent,

I will sell your
stuff on trade me.

Fine.
Do it.

Good luck.

And then I will get
some new flatmates

who actually give a shit.

Whatever.

All good.

I might not come back at all!

What?

Hey, hey, hey.

Hey, what do you mean
not come back at all?

Exactly what I said, Mike.

Just because
you're hanging out

with the King of
running away, does not

- mean you have to turn into him.
- Yeah.

- I have to go now.
- Axl, we need to talk about--

Got something way more
important to attend to

- than this crap.
- Axl, wait.

What did he say?

Apparently, he's got something
way more important to do.

[music playing]

Yeah, Johnsons!

That's how we roll!

[music playing]

There you go.

This should cover it.

But no more.

I'm already paying for
them, because Axl is not here.

His selfishness.

It's unbelievable.

Zeb, go.
You got your money, mate.

Quit while you're ahead.

What about Ingrid?

What about her?

She's in the house,
not paying rent.

So?

So she's one of your kind.

Kind?

Goddy kind.

Zeb, you are not
getting any more money.

No, no.

It's not just the money.

It's her.

She's sending me signals.

Signals about what?

About paying the rent in other
ways, if you know what I mean.

With you?

Yeah, well, you
know, she gets a bit

friendly when she's had a few.

It would be like sleeping with
my mother, or someone's mother.

She wants to turn me
into a motherfucker.

Enough.

Go.

Be gone.

It's all Axl's fault.

OK.
Everyone smile.

Everyone say, hashtag YOLO.

[music playing]

Thank you very much.

OK.

So the Wi-Fi password is 422214.

I'm so sorry.

That's my phone number.

Actually, maybe you should get
my phone number, just- Yes.

Sorry.

Can I have a moment?

Certainly, my number
one, number two.

Not number two.

This crop of interns you've
hired for the campaign?

Yes.

Aren't they enthusiastic?

That would be one
thing about them.

What after they
will have in common?

They're all young?

Yes.
What else?

Well, thankfully,
because they're young,

they're willing to work for life
experience instead of money.

They're all female, Anders.

It's good to get more
women involved in politics.

Do any of them actually
know anything about politics?

Do any of us actually know
anything about politics?

They're all models you
hired from modeling agencies.

Because models often
have a long periods of time

with nothing to do between jobs.

And they're easy on the eye.

This is more like it.

Feels like an actual campaign.

Dawn has a problem.

That's not very good.

What is the problem, Dawny?

Well, none of these people
actually have any experience

on a political campaign.

In fact, they appear to
have been hired on hotness,

rather than ability.

Well, women are capable, too.

Anders, did you
hire these people

according to attractiveness?

Nice.

I'll take it as a yes.

And what would your
hiring policy be, Dawny?

Well I don't actually--

Yeah, if you did.

Well, people that
lived in the real world

would be good, for starters.

Anders, hire real people.

Excuse me.

If I could have your
attention, please.

Thank you all for your
invaluable contribution.

But alas, a strategy
rethink means your input

is no longer required.

Now, as unpaid volunteers,
the only redundancy package

I can offer is a spin around the
harbor on my very large yacht.

Champagning and drink.

Raise your hands if you
find this unacceptable.

Yeah.

Well, we set sail forthwith.

Where do you
think you're going?

On the boat?

No, you're not.

Wow.

So much better than champagne
and a boatload of drunk models.

Tell me about Colin Gunderson.

Is he for real?

He's as real as he appears.

Is he a rich dick, getting his
rocks off playing power games?

He wants to be mayor.

And as for getting
his rocks off,

I refer back to the
boatload of drunk models,

while I'm here with
you and the sandwich.

Because we should
not take this job

if he isn't serious about
running a proper campaign.

Why is it so important to you?

Our reputation is at stake.

Our reputation, such as it
is, is to helping rich dicks

do whatever the hell they want.

Why is Colin any different?

We could make this
rich dick mayor.

Yeah, right.

If you're not taking
this campaign seriously,

- why are we even doing it?
- The money?

Dawn, what's going on here?

Why are you being even
weirder than normal?

OK.

Don't mock me.

I would never do that.

I have always wanted
to get into politics.

[laughter]

I have watched every episode
of the West Wing at least twice

and I want to be
one of those people

behind the scenes
walking and talking

pulling the strings
that is why I

got into PR with your company.

Oh boy.

You picked the wrong PR company.

I know that now.

But this is our chance to
be political power brokers.

Dawn, it's the
Aukland mayoralty.

But it's a start.

Promise me, promise
me it isn't a joke.

This isn't a joke?

Promise me you won't
fuck it up by being you.

I will give it my best shot.

Thank you.

Did Joe say when
he might be back?

I spoke to Axl, not Joe.

Did he say when
they might be back?

Well, the time frame
for returning was loose.

How loose?

As loose as time will allow

Ullr could find them.

Ullr doesn't want to.

You're so like
my father at times.

If you say so.

When you get old
dark and mysterious.

He was Ullr too.

Your predecessor.

So I guess that comes
with the territory.

Michele never mentioned that.

I keep all references
to him vague around her.

She doesn't need to
know her grandfather

stuck a shotgun in his
mouth and blew his head off.

- I can see that.
- Don't go down that road, Mike.

What road?

The Odin road.

Which is what?

The road Ullr
should not go down.

Are you still being all tragic
and Tennessee Williams on us?

Hello, darling.

How was your day?

If you want him
back, throw a party.

You'll have no choice.

I'm not in the party mood.

And your precious psyche
needs him to come back

of his own accord, which
isn't going to happen,

because he is gone.

He's having quality
time with his son,

dealing with important
issues as men.

[music playing]

Woohoo!

That's my boy!

That way.

That way.

Oh man.

When the raft flipped, I
totally thought we were dead.

No.

It'll take more than an
inflatable raft and a few rocks

to kill these guys.

You calmed the ever-loving
shit out of those rapids.

So where next?

Wherever you want.

We should probably thinking
about heading off soon, eh?

To Norsewood?

There's no hurry.

Well, that was the plan.

I thought the
plan was freedom.

That, too.

But going home, too.

We're heading in
the right direction.

Slowly.

There are things we
need to do on the way.

Such as?

Enjoy life.

Get to know each other.

So many things we've never done
together as father and son.

All those things kiwi
kids do with their dads.

Kicking a ball around.

Going fishing.

Fishing.

I'd love to go
fishing with my dad.

Go to the sea.
Get some awesome fish.

We would.

Then we should go fishing.

And learn what it
means to be gods.

- Fishing.
- You wait.

Fishing it is.

Fishing.

And then onto Norsewood.

And then on to Norsewood.

[glasses toasting]

I cannot take another
day of my mother.

We have to move out,
or I'm going to kill her

The Renos going
as fast as they can.

I'm not joking.

Hire more people.

I can't afford that.

Then when I slay her, it
will be on your conscience.

Awesome.

[music playing]

Anders, this new
direction you've taken?

Well, given the
limited time I have,

I decided to end the government
job creation schemes.

I can't work with this lot.

Can't even look at this one.

They're ugly.

I'm joking, Dawn.

Do any of them have any
actual qualifications?

You want real people.

These are real people.

Qualified people to
help me win, Anders.

Now, get rid of this rebel Dawn.

You're in charge of
hiring from now on.

Not a chance.

[music playing]

[sawing wood]

You are here to work, right?

Or are you hoping the bar
will magically reopen?

You know building is not
really my thing, Michael.

Do you want a hug?

No, I do not want a hug.

Because you seem
like you need a hug.

Or a doobie.

What I need is a truckload
of money to pay more people,

not my retarded, adolescent
grandfather trying to get me

started.

If, there is one person in
this town capable of finding

a truckload of money it's you.

I'm living my life on my own
terms, doing things my own way.

All right?

Yeah?

How's that working out for you?

You are older.

Your skills are you,
and you are your skills.

You deny them, deny yourself.

And if it gets a
goddess off your back?

You think I haven't
thought about it?

You think, that
every time someone

comes at me with a handout?

That I'm not tempted

Is this the part
where you bang on

about how you don't like the
person you turn into when you

- game?
- Yeah.

There is that.

But mainly, it takes up
too much time, grampa.

It's indeed a conundrum.

It sucks.

I'll tell you that much.

You need a quicker
way to win money.

The casino, hey,
where I'm blacklisted.

You can disguise yourself
as a little old Asian lady.

Surely, there are other places
in this town where humans

and money gather to take sport.

If only we had the god
of the hunt to track down

those places.

Imagine how much easier
your life would be then.

Is there a reason
for this meeting

other than watching you
take out your frustrations?

Because I have a
business to run.

I'm not frustrated.

Really?

Well the where are
you taking that bag

would suggest otherwise.

I just think it's important
for us to spend time together.

That's all.

Because of our cause?

That's the stop the oppression
of the gods cause, right?

The only oppressing
my god does

is when he presses me
against the mattress,

and I go, oh my god.

What, too much information?

When you're back to
being a handmaiden,

Stacey, maybe then you'll
take out cause more seriously.

What?

Well, a bit rich, isn't it?

You giving Fulla a hard time
when it's a well-known fact

that Sjofn can't function
without some god or another

giving it to you.

That is not true.

Oh, I think it is.

I could forge my own
destiny, thank you very Much

Right.

Sorry.

I'm just the goddess of wisdom.
What would I know?

If you're so damn
wise, why didn't you

figure out how to use the
draft deal to our advantage?

Speaking of which, Bebhan
wants to talk to you.

Who is Bebhan?

The god hunter guy.

The one who's wife exploded?

- You broke his arm?
- How do you know this?

Well, he told me.

You were talking to him?

I was talking to
him about business.

He's a printer, and printers
always need couriers.

And I just happened to
come up in this conversation.

We were having lunch.

He was telling me
about his family.

He's got a bit of a crush on me.

Excuse me.

Getting back to me.

You kind of popped up.

How?

He's meant to have
forgotten all about us?

Yeah, he has.

You remember the smartass
comment that Anders made?

You guys keep
worshiping the J-man, OK?

Or Michele, who's like some
kind of vengeful god healer.

She'd love a good worshipping.

Well he remembers that.

And he also remembers
that you healed some.

It would be so much easier
if you just met with him.

All right. it's on.

We got the sea.

We've got the god of the sea.

Yeah.

This will do nicely.

Except for the
tiny detail that we

don't have any fishing gear.

That's easily fixed.

Give me the keys.

I'll sort it out.

You wait here.

OK.

Can I be blunt?

Do you actually invite
women back to this flat?

Yeah.
Plenty.

Why?

Well I saw that
you Roger them.

Firing all those people en
masse today, I didn't like it.

Well.

That's a shame Firing all
those hot interns was huge fun.

We went on all night.

Colin, the point is, I'm
worried about the campaign.

That is a worry, given
we haven't actually

launched a campaign yet.

I'm serious here.

Are you sulking because I
fired you from hiring people?

You're shit at all that
organizational stuff, Anders.

Your talents are elsewhere.

I just want to know that
this is not an elaborate joke,

like a.

Big fuck you all
to the mortal world

Would it matter if it was?

As long as you're getting paid?

Yes.

Yes it would.

Which is the correct answer.

I'm deadly serious, Anders.

I will be the mayor.

Then start listening to me.

I do listen to you, my friend.

Because you have a
vested financial interest

- in my success.
- Yeah, you're paying me.

More than that.

You remember Agnetha's
little nest egg?

Well, it was a
fucking ginormous nest

egg, to be completely accurate.

The one you stole from us?

When your brother
invested unwisely, .

Which fell into my lap

What about it?

How do you think I'm
funding the campaign?

Well, you see?

This is as much your
campaign as it is mine.

Well. you could just
give us the money back

Or, the better the campaign,
the more the money flows

from my pocket to your pocket.

Is this seriously the
best scotch you've got?

[music playing]

[pouring scotch]

So it's all good, then.

It soon will be, yes.

is there something else?

Just tread carefully
around Colin Gunderson, OK?

What do you mean?

I mean, he doesn't exactly
inhabit the same world you

or I do.

- You mean he's rich.
- Oh, Ty.

Oh man, I would
love to make package

jokes at your
expense, especially

when you are dressed like that.

But unfortunately, Dawn
and I have some work to do.

So off you go, on your bike.

Off you go.

OK, Dawn.

So, new plan of
attack is, everything

that we can possibly charge to
the Gunderson account, do it.

Phone, gas, this incredibly
expensive bottle of scotch.

Has Colin authorized this?

His exact words were,
his money is our money,

or something like that.

So spend away, Dawn.

[music playing]

Still haven't explained why
I need to be on this hunt.

Just in case.

In case of what?

Michael, I deal
with enough unknowns

of my surfing life
and my Oracle life

without you adding
a whole other life.

This is all your idea,
so stop your whining.

Just stand there, look big and
tough, and don't say anything.

I'm your bodyguard, aren't I?

I"m too old for this shit.

Hey.

Can I help you?

Yeah, by letting us in.

This is a private club, mate.

Sorry.

I forgot to show you
my membership fee.

[music playing]

Do you even know what
game it is they play?

Doesn't matter.

Oh, it's nice, isn't it?

Bring out the fresh air.

Oh, here we go.

You're real.

Yes, I am.

I wondered if I had dreamed
you, if you were a vision.

- Aww, he's quite old-fashioned.
- Thank you for meeting me.

Look, don't do the
kneeling, eyes averted thing.

It's-- that's creepy.

Tell me what you want.

I know the power of the
Lord works through your hands.

I know you healed me.

I'm going to neither
confirm nor deny until you

tell me what you want.

I want to ask of you to use
your gift to heal my sister.

She has rheumatoid arthritis.

She's only 26, and is already in
a wheelchair, in so much pain.

Can't help.

Sorry.

Please, I'm begging you.

She's such a good person.

It's so unfair that she suffers.

I have money.

I am not a cheap
sideshow freak.

I'm sorry.

But I'm desperate.

Life sucks.

Blame your god.

She's having a bad day.

Just wait here.

Michele, you should
really think about this.

I did.

I thought about hitting
him, and I didn't.

Have you ever
wondered why Yggsadril

gave Sjofn the power to heal?

Because I have.

What?

So I can heal some
god-botherer's sister?

Maybe it's bigger than that.

Why did our godly powers wane
all those two centuries ago?

Maybe it was because people
stopped believing in us.

Look at him, Michelle.

He believes in you.

If you cure his sister, he
will believe in you with all

his heart, and so will she.

And that is how great
things would start.

Now I might be wrong.

I have been known to
be wrong in the past.

But maybe this is the
destiny that we seek.

The power that
males do not have.

I will use my power
to heal your sister.

- Thank you.
- No to the kneeling.

Sorry.

Ingrid here will organize
the time and place.

Thank you.

[music playing]

-

Sorry it took so long,
but it's all sorted.

Just, we gotta.

- Get a move on.
- To where?

The boat.

We sail in half an hour.

We sail.

Yeah.

OK.

I was thinking we were going
to go fishing off the wharf.

What.

No.

That's for babies.

So what?

Have you chartered
a boat or something?

No, not exactly.

We're crewing on a
Korean long liner.

Sorry?

Heading to the Ross Sea,
after Patagonian toothfish.

It took a lot of
persuading, especially

with the language difficulties.

But you're going to start off
in the kitchen, until you're

ready to work on deck.

Boy, you're going to
hate the sight of kimchi.

- What the fuck is kimchi?
- No, not a who.

A what.

A spicy, fermented cabbage thing
the Koreans eat all the time.

You'll get the hang of it.

So how long are we meant
to be on this boat for?

- Till it gets back to old Sand.
- Old Sand?

Its home port.

In Korea.

Yeah

I wanted to go
fishing with my dad,

not die in some rusting tub
off the coast of Patagonia.

We won't be going
anywhere near Patagonia,

which is a pity really.

Because it's a truly--

Not the point, Dad.

And you won't die.

Not with me on board.

What is your problem here?

This is insane.

That is my problem here.

Njord and Odin
go to sea together.

That, Axl, is the
start of the most

exciting adventure in your
life we will follow the waves.

We will live a life other
people can only dream of.

No, that's your dream.

Not mine.

But you don't have
any dreams, Axl.

You told me yourself.

I want to go with
my father, to see

the place where I grew up.

An unremarkable piece of
dirt in the middle and nowhere.

End.

I want to understand why
he walked away from me.

[music playing]

And then, then maybe I can
understand who the hell I am.

There is nothing
there for you.

You will learn nothing.

I'm offering you the pathway
to something remarkable,

and you can't even see it?

Are you sure you're
actually Odin?

Have a nice little life, Axl.

Where's the car?

I used it to bribe
our way on board.

Good luck, son.

And, that is that, eh?

Was a true pleasure, gentlemen.

Mike, a word, please.

In a minute, eh?

No, now.

Excuse me?

I know what you're going to say.

You need to tone it down.

It's cool.

I can control it.

You think, you think you can.

With any luck, that is
common sense telling

you to quit while you're ahead.

Axl, thought you
should pass on to Karen

that Joe's not coming back.

Well there's a surprise.

Just for the record, our
father is a total prick.

It's taken as read.

Just forget him.

Get in the car.

Get back here.

Can't do that.

For starters, I don't
have the car anymore.

What's happened to my car?

OK.

Oh, I'll come get you.

Mike, what about my car?

No, I don't want help
from you or anyone.

This family can fuck right
off, as far as I'm concerned.

- I'm pressing off.
- Axl.

To hell with the lot of you!

Idiot.

Shit!

Whoa.

We, need to get out
of here to figure

out what to do about Axl.

And the car.

Mike, there will be
other card games.

Just walk away.

Axl made it
abundantly clear that he

needs some time on his own.

So be it.

No!

Sorry about that.

Where were we?

Dickhead!

Awesome day.

Do you require a lift?

Yeah, actually I do.

Climb in.

Where are you headed?

Where are you headed?

Norsewood.

Hop in.

- You going to Norsewood?
- Yeah.

I can get you there.

Cool!

Axl.

Martin.

OK.

You look tired.

Do I?

[car starting]

Get some sleep while I drive.

You have a ways a to go.

OK.

The campaign staff
search is moving forward.

In fact, tomorrow,
I should have a list

of prospective candidates
for your approval.

All right.

Whatever you want, Dawn.

I trust your judgment.

OK.
Great.

Oh, you're the best, Dawn.

To hell with the cost.

That's the spirit, Anders.

Thank you, Colin.

You do know this campaign
spending cap, right?

You can't just spend you want.

Why not?
It's my money.

So to speak.

That's no fun.

It's there to stop rich people
buying their way into office.

Look.

Don't worry if anyone
asks any questions,

we'll just deny any
knowledge of anything.

OK.
Moving on, Dawn.

Anders, you were going to
talk about the campaign launch.

Yes I was.

Short and sweet.

Waterfront, champion, canapes.

The usual rent a crowd
of demi-celebrities,

mixed in with the actual money
people that we need to impress.

Get some ex-TV journo
to introduce Colin.

Colin makes a speech.

Colin, make it
brief, because it's

a well-known fact
that Aucklanders

have short attention.

And we'll finish it
off for a big, kick ass

fireworks display.

Simple yet lavish,
and no one needs to.

Know how much it really cost.

Fine.

And will there be any
actual policy announcements

at this campaign launch?

Policy will roll out as
the campaign commences.

The main policy statement of
the night will be, vote for me,

because all the others are
small town mushroom dicks.

- Memorable.
- And true.

Well, I get the feeling
Dawn isn't entirely,

approving of our
campaign strategy Anders.

Dawn disapproves
of most things.

- You get used to it.
- Speak up.

Dawn.

Tell me what you're thinking.

Well, I think
everything you're planning

says I am a rich
wanker who doesn't give

a shit about this city.
and the only reason

I'm running for mayor is
so I can prove my dick

is bigger than yours.

Sorry.

And to make the mayoralty seem
less like a penis extension?

OK.

I would start by saying,
we all share the city.

So if we can make
improvements, visible,

practical changes that affect
people's day to day lives,

then that can be good.

Simple things, like installing
more public drinking fountains,

so people weren't forced
to buy bottled water.

And bike racks.

Yes.

Covered bike racks.

How useful would they be?

And more bike lanes, so we
don't have as many accidents.

And dog parks, so dog
owners have a place to go,

without annoying the other park
goers, who just want to sit

in the sun and read a book.

Sorry.

I am pratting on about
things that aren't important.

Quite the opposite.
This is gold.

Really?

You look after
the small things,

the big things
will follow, right?

Yes.
Yes.

I mean, I'm a voter.

And it's my city, too, right?

Yes, you are, Dawn.

Anders, new idea.

Launch the campaign at
Dawn's house this afternoon.

My place is tiny.

I bet it is.

Anders, round up the hacks.

Invite them for
tea and biscuits,

and a campaign launch unlike
anything they have ever seen.

But I didn't tidy
up this morning.

Perfect!
Makes it all the more real.

No.

No.

Not going to happen.

- You can't touch this.
- Touch what?

This.

I can't blame you
for wanting it.

But I will not
trade sex for right.

[cough]

I don't know what sort of
woman that you think I am.

But you need to
stop hallucinating.

And you need to go, now.

- Hey.
- Go on.

Shoo.

But this is my flat.

Not for the next
hour, it isn't.

But you don't even pay rent.

Can you tell him that
we need some privacy?

Go away, before
I castrate you.

It's fine.

But I still want
rent from someone.

You should prepare.

I have this.
I'm prepared.

Now you can't let
them see the stick.

The power comes from
you, not a piece of wood.

OK.

I get that.

And ceremony and ritual
are important for the god

mortal relationship.

That's how a religion works.

OK.

You should prepare.

And make an entrance
when I call you.

[knock on door]

Hello.

Hi.

All right.

OK.

I'm Ingrid.

Kay.

Kay.

Michele will be with
you in a moment.

She just needs some
time to prepare.

But don't worry.

You're literally
in good hands now.

Oh, the donation
you suggested.

All right.
Thank you.

Just to cover expenses.

And please don't mention
this to the healer.

She likes to remain unencumbered
by such pity earthly things.

All right.

If you're ready?

Michele?

I have Kay here.

She seeks your healing hands.

OK, let's get this
over and done with.

Kay has been
afflicted with arthritis

from a very early age.

Yeah, I got it.

Thanks, Ingrid.

Let's start with the worst.

Knees, elbows, wrists, hands.

It started in my teenage--

[music playing]

Dear, sweet Jesus.

He has very little
to do with it.

OK.

We're done.

Is that it?

Stand up, and you tell me.

[music playing]

It doesn't hurt!
[sobbing]

Oh!

Thank you so much.

Whoa, there, Jesus freaks.

You're welcome, but
not that welcome.

The healer's not
big on hugging.

You're a miracle worker.

It's me!

Off you go.

-

[music playing]

Four jacks.

MUSIC: Have you seen
my bag of money?

I left it in my parlor.

I am loving these clubs.

MUSIC: Have you seen
my bag on money?

I left it in my parlor.

If you want to know, mate,
you're going to have to pay.

Wise choice.

Just so you know, the
guy your mate just bluffed

did eight years for stabbing
a policeman in the eye.

Come on, Mikkel.
It's time for us to go.

In a while.

We're catching
out now and leaving.

I said in a while.

I said now.

Sorry, gents.

But he's retarded.

[music playing]

Membership
revoked, by the way.

You know, it would
help if you didn't

turn into a complete wanker
when you're in your Ullr zone.

We got out alive, didn't we?

Let's get a beer.

If, this goes tits up
awful it'll be your fault.

Mine?
Why?

Because this is your idea.

No it's not.

It's Colin's idea.

Yeah, but you put the idea
in his head for him to have.

Oh, wait.

Is this all the
biscuits that we had?

On such short notice?
Yes.

Unless you pop up
to the supermarket.

I'm going to want to
pop my head in the oven

if this goes as I suspect.

What's wrong with champagne,
and fireworks, and starlets

falling out of their dresses?

Oh, get ready to
pour the tea, honey.

We've got visitors.

So, is this the solution
to all your problems?

But it sure puts
a dent in them.

So now what?

Good, honest, hard work?

Or you you find another dodgy
card game, and just about

get killed ripping it off?

- Was your idea.
- Up.

To a point.

Up to the point where
you turned into a wanker.

I think I can control it.

I saw no evidence
of control today.

No, it's there.

It's within my grasp.

I can feel it.

It's like, it's like
a wave, grandpa.

I can feel the energy
underneath building.

And the trick is to
ride that energy,

and then bail out before you.

Hit the rock.

How dare you use a
surfing metaphor on me?

And the moral qualms
that you once had?

I am tired, man.

I am tired of every bugger
coming at me with their hand

out.

Pay for this.

Build it faster.

Clean up the last mess
that Axl just left behind.

So screw it.

As long as no one gets hurt,
and it makes my life easier.

That's just between
you and me, OK?

Yeah.

More tea?

No.
Gluten free?

I have no idea.

You're a journalist, men.

I don't know.

You did text him
my address, right?

Yes, of course.

Well where is he?

- I'm running out of tea bags.
- It's a crowd.

He'll be here.

Friends, hello.

Apologies for my lateness.

As I was saying, I hope
you all enjoyed a nice cup

of tea and a biscuit.

Ladies and gentlemen,
may I introduce

to you Mr. Colin Gunderson.

A cup of tea and a biscuit.

It's not exactly champagne
and caviar, is it?

But then again, the people I
want to talk to you about today

are not champagne
and caviar people.

They'd like to be,
because wouldn't we all?

But kind of lifestyle
is beyond their means,

because they are
the real people of

this hard-working, honest city.

People like Dawn, our hostess.

Dawn walks in an office.

She sits behind a desk.

She eats a sandwich for
lunch, not a three course meal

at a fine restaurant.

She is the sort of person
that makes this city tick.

She believes in water fountains,
and places where people can

walk their dogs, and all
those sort of things that

make a city a place
where real people can

live, living their real lives.

So Dawn, and all those
thousands of other Dawns,

is the reason why I'm here
today to announce that I'm

to put forward my
name, Collin Gunderson,

to be mayor of this great city.

Cheers.

[music playing]

So get your producer
to give me a call,

- and we will set up an interview.
- Great.

Oh, you don't
have to clean up.

Nonsense.

Invaded your home
with my tawdry ambition.

It's the least I can do.

And I do apologize for dropping
you in the spotlight like this.

Oh, no.

I was flattered us
be a part of it.

Well, I am very
relieved to hear that.

Colin, and I do
not say this lightly,

you are a fucking genius.

And you are exactly
the kind of suck

up I need on this campaign.

Thank you.

I have many, many
interviews lined up for you.

Well, we'd better work some
policies out then, hadn't we?

You know what I feel like?

More tea?

Champagne.

I. Don't have
any of that Sorry.

My god.

Starting to sound like the
woman from my campaign.

Luckily, there's a
supermarket nearby.

And if you go, Anders
and I will do the dishes.

Deal.

We're not actually
doing the dishes, eh?

Of course we are.

I'm a man of my word.

I'll wash.

You dry.

I want, Anders Johnson,
as my campaign posters,

portraits of people on walls all
over the city, with the words

"my city" underneath
their portrait.

Vote Gunderson.

No.

My name should not
appear on the poster.

Well how will people
know how to vote for you.

Well that's for
you to work out.

Well I had some graphics
people lined up before you

sprung the surprise launch.

Then tell them
to do what I want.

And since you're keen
to spend my money--

I like to think
of it as our money.

And I want Dawn to be
foremost among the portraits.

She may not go for that.

Yes she will she's won
over but the risk will be.

She's a litmus test
into the chimp mind

Are you having
your way with her?

Sorry?

Can I be a little less subtle?

Are you banging her?

No.

We work together.

Don't shit in the
company nest, eh?

Yeah.

Something like that

Excellent policy.

Keep it up.

On the bench.

Sorry?

What you seek is on the bench.

That should cover my rent
for the foreseeable future.

- Well, for about a week.
- You're kidding?

You're not familiar
with Auckland rents.

Well, bugger me sideways.

Well, don't you worry.

There will be plenty more
where that came from.

That's generally
how rents work.

Why are you in a wheelchair?

Aw, that is a top
level secret, youngsie.

But if you can sell it on
Trade Me, we'll go 50/50.

Deal.

Hi.

Hello.

How was your day?

Nothing special.

You?

Same.

Same.

Although Dawn
of the Living Dead

here has been
awaiting your return.

Any word yet?

Yeah, about that.

Not the beast of
news, I'm afraid.

Hey, where are we?

This is you, mate.

This isn't Norsewood.

You need to be here for now.

[music playing]

[car starting]

Ass-balls.

Mis-pour.

Free jug going.

Sure.

OK.

[pouring]

It's your lucky day.

Not really, but
it's fast improving.

[punch]

Nice.

See what happens
when you make me angry?

Why would I ever
want to make you angry?

You just gave me a free beer?

So what are you
doing in my bar?

This is your bar?

No.

But I like to think
of it as mine.

I have no idea.

No one comes to
Funamongamo without a reason.

- Funamongamo?
- Yes.

Got a problem with that?

DEREK: Mind your own
business, you bloody bastards!

Two-faced dicktards!

The bloody lot of you.

Dicktards!

Derek!

I told you to go the hell home.

Oh no.

My Lord.

You've come.

You know this troublemaker?

It's gone, my Lord.

It's been taken from me.

Oh, OK.

I have no idea what you're
talking about, Uncle Derek.

Mjolnir, the hammer of
the gods, has fallen

into the hand of bandits.

But now you are here.

You've come to retrieve it.
We're saved.

Oh shit.

[vomiting]

Perfect.

[music playing]