All language subtitles for The Almighty Johnsons S03E03 Bergerbar 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP2 0 H 264-Kitsune_track4_[eng]

TY [VOICEOVER]: An
unfortunate side effect

of me losing my godliness
is that Dawn has wiped

to me from her memory banks.

I don't want us to be
just friends, Dawn.

Sorry.

Who are you?

TY [VOICEOVER]:
Dawn loved me once.

All I'm trying to do is
find some common ground so

that maybe it can happen again.

Hey, how you going?

When you became
not a god anymore,

was a full frontal lobotomy
part of the process?

TY [VOICEOVER]:
Dawn and I getting

on like a house on fire.
Then, she walked away.

And when I turned around,
she was looking at me like I

was some kind of monster.

Has Dawn ever
been in that room?

Only when Eva locked her
in and she almost died.

You'd have to imagine
that might leave something

of a scar on the subconscious.

And I feel sure that
I truly do love you.

Will you marry me?

OLAF [VOICEOVER]: As
long as the two of them

inhabit the same godly
postcode, they will

find a way to knob each other.

Last night, I
slept with Anders.

I lied to you.

It's the worst thing
I've ever done.

See?

You need to know that I'm
not proud of what's happened.

Axl.

GAIA [VOICEOVER]:
I need to be as far

away from gods as I can get.

And that includes you.

On the phone, when you said
you loved cooking and cleaning,

you meant that, right?

Well, I said, I
don't mind cooking.

And I like a clean house.

That is my room and
this will be your room.

This is tidy.

Exactly.

And it can be yours.

Well, it's good it's so
close to the Lord's Words.

The Christian bookshop?

Right.

Do you have a
problem with that?

No.

And you're OK that
I play the accordion?

Second favorite instrument,
straight after the bouzouki.

What about that room?

That's the other flatmate,
Axl, who isn't here.

Probably at tech, studying.

You--

You'll like him.

Who are you?

Wow.

You're back from tech.

I was having a dream.

- Axl.
- What?

Dude.

What?

You're tenting
without any canvas.

So a towel would be
appropriate right about now.

This towel smells
of puke dude.

Right.

About the advance--

[music playing]

[SINGING] Oh my god.

I'm beaten in the game of love.

And I fall down.

I fall down on my knees.

I fall.

I'm telling you,
it's getting way worse.

How hard can it be
to find a flatmate when

there's a housing shortage?

Most places have people queuing.

Do most places
have Axl Johnson?

Sharing is overrated
as all I'm saying.

And if you can't deal with
it, that's your problem.

Let me guess?

Marriage broke up.

I mean, that's the
only reason an old dude

goes flating, right?

And you're a nurse?

Is this some kind of sick joke?

OK.

I will talk to him, again.

And cover Axl's rent, again?

OWNER: Whatever happened
to the other guy?

He kind of moved on.

OWNER: He really
knew his shit when

- it came to fridges, that guy.
- Yeah.

He did.

So is it fixed yet?

It will be.

That's what you
said yesterday.

I know.

If it's not bloody
fixed this time,

I'm getting another company.

I have one question.

- Why?
- Why what?

Are we here?

Thought you might like a game.

Why?

Get you out and about it.

You've been a bit
reclusive lately.

No.

Why would you think I'd
want to play pool with you?

You like pool.

Not with you.

You always win.

I won't.

I'm not powered up.

You will.

I'll play left handed.

So I'll feel even worse.

Axl, I know you've
been through a--

a really crap time lately,
but you have got to stop

taking it out on the world.

It's time to move on, buddy.

Right.

Any suggestions where
I might move on to?

Your studies maybe, basic life
stuff like getting a flatmate

would be a step in
the right direction.

So you can stop
covering my rent.

I'm not talking
about the rent.

Yeah, you are.

Teensy bit.

I'm mainly talking about
you getting through this.

Whatever, Mike.

I swear I did not
mean to do that.

I meant to go one off.

Great.

So you were gonna
throw the game.

I'm not a child, Mike.

Then, how about you
stop acting like one?

Get off my case.

I'm totally fine.

What it is to be
young and heartbroken.

Not that I remember.

It was an awful long time ago.

Well, try taking
all the worst moody

aspects of being a teenager.

Well, he suffered a
shattering blow to his ego.

His self-esteem's in tatters.

He's hiding behind a wall of
pain, sheltering from the storm

of Hurricane Heartbreak.

Any chance you
can deliver less bad

poetry and more actual advice?

Leave Axl to me.

To do what exactly?

Life's like a cardboard box.

How?

OLAF: It has sides.

It has a bottom that
can fall out and a lid.

You can't put anything in the
box unless you open that lid.

Axl's bottom has fallen out.

I can open his lid.

TY: Sounds good.
Where do I sign?

I mean, they love this place.

They even love the
kooky fridge room,

foodies who age their own beef.

Wonderful.

Do I need to sign something?

When I say they
love this place, Ty,

I mean I can nudge them up
another 20k, no problem.

The offer's fine.

- Possibly 30.
- I'm good.

Just show me where to sign.

Initial here and sign there.

They'll be thrilled.

I'm happy for them.

I'll be in touch.

Ty, don't you think
selling your house

and packing in your
career all in the same day

is quite a lot of life
changing decisions

in a short space of time?

Yeah, well, repairing
fridges isn't the career

I want anymore.

Ingrid, you know it was only
ever going to be temporary.

INGRID: Well, it's
not about me, Ty.

I'll find somewhere
else to live.

I need a clean slate, Ingrid.

So do you.

Yeah, but my slate
is always clean.

That's my main problem.

I can't help you.

I know, because you got no
job and pretty soon no house.

And so my car might
be all that we've got.

I will buy a smaller
place that's more me.

- And Dawn.
- No, no.

Nothing to do with Dawn.

But somewhere that
Dawn might like to live.

A small, one bedroom place,
where I can re-evaluate

what I want to do with my life.

Like getting a job.

Yeah, for starters.

You could work for me.

As a cycle courier?

What?

Is that less exciting
than repairing fridges?

Tyrone Johnson,
do you actually

think in your tiny
mortal mind that this

- is your house to sell?
- Yes.

Because it's mine.

Gifted to you by me, when you
were plundering my daughter,

my dear departed daughter.

Who left a will,
which has long since

cleared probate without a word
from you, leaving it to me.

Oh, yes.

I remember now.

You were the Johnson who
fancies himself as a bit

of a fucking legal expert.

No.

I'm the Johnson who
can read a will.

And I have a solicitor.

They're quite handy.

Did you not think to
speak to me before you sold?

Didn't know you gave a shit.

This house has
special memories for me,

of Eva, not so many of you.

Yeah, well, the good
thing about memories

is they live on in the mind.

This house will not be sold.

I've already
accepted an offer.

- COLIN: Really?
- Yep.

Wanker.

I heard that.

The box man cometh.

Did you talk to Axl?

I talked to him, yeah.

And?

Well, I talked to him.

And?

Did he talk back?

At first.

At first?

Well, I said, come
with me to the beach.

And he said, whatever.

So we went to the beach.

And then?

Are you at all familiar
with the term upholstered?

As in when you're
sitting on the couch

with your grandpa,
who's got you so

incredibly stoned,
that your body

becomes at one with the couch?

Yeah.

You upholstered me
in the past, Grandpa.

OK.

Then, I need you to think of
nature as a very large couch.

I know how it is
to have darkness

around the town of your heart.

You know you can talk to me.

You open up to me, Axl.
I know you want to.

It's not my fault Axl
has a remarkably low

tolerance for excellent drugs.

Tell me you did not leave
him on his own in nature.

No way.

We drove back into
town, very slowly,

got lost a couple of times,
but he's safely home,

and on some levels,
he's way happier.

On all other
levels, there's been

little significant improvement.

Some would say none.

I really, really,
really like this place.

And it has a second bedroom.

Ingrid, give it up.

It's small, but
I don't mind small.

I have few needs, a roof, a bed.

People say they hardly
know that I'm here.

- It's perfect.
- Yes, yes, yes.

- Dawn would love it.
- No.

It's not about Dawn.

It's about me
making a new start.

In a place that Dawn
would love when she

finally finds you irresistible.

Can we talk about the
whole Colin thing?

Colin is irrelevant.

Loki, is never irrelevant.

It's my house to sell.

And I'm not a god anymore.

So why should he care?

In fact, he's everything
I'm trying to leave behind.

Can a guy still get a drink
in this work in progress

sorry excuse for a bar?

I need everyone to
stop trying to help.

It's not helping.

We care about you, Axl.

Well, don't.

I'm fine.

I'm just--

Depressed.

No.

MIKE: Because you
seem depressed.

No.

Maybe.

OK, yeah.

Life just seems a
little crap right now.

Can you blame me?

I totally bought into the
whole god thing and Gaia

being my Frigg and that
was a spectacular fail.

Then, I tried to rise above it
and thought if we ignored it,

we could be true to
ourselves and love

each other on a mortal
level, like you and Val did.

OK.

Not a great example.

Anyway, now what?

Here I am, Axl Johnson, 23, part
Odin, but mostly nothing much.

Jeez, I can't even
pay my own rent.

Now, I'm helping
you with that.

Yeah, because you're the
cool god who can win it

- back any time he feels like it.
- No.

Because you're my brother.

Yeah, the uncool loser god.

Who happens to be the
living incarnation of Odin,

- the all father.
- Yeah.

Which makes me feel like I've
been given a job to drive one

of those really big diggers.

But fucked if I know
what all the levers do.

Yeah.

People underestimate how
hard it is to drive a digger.

But you want to
know the thing that

hurts the most, the
thing that truly defines

me as a loser with a capital L?

That my own brother shafted me,
because before this whole Gaia

isn't actually the Frigg
fiasco, at least I one thing

I could be proud of and that
was that I was part of a family.

I was a Johnson brother.

I liked that.

And yeah, maybe we are
all a bit screwed up,

but at least it was part of us.

Not anymore.

Oh.

Got a letter today from Tech.

They're failing me on account
I haven't shown up enough.

I'm the first person to
ever fail that course.

At least I can be
proud of that, right?

Good talk, Mike.

Mike, it's been a while.

That's because
you've been hiding.

Me?

Hide?

Never.

Why?

You need to apologize to Axl.

I thought we were
done with all this.

He's on an emotional
flatline, Anders.

OK.

Let's get the facts
straight, again.

OK?

I did not want to sleep
with Axl's missus.

That's beside the point.

Destiny drugged me and
forced me to bed her, on, yeah,

more than one occasion.

But don't think
that I enjoyed it.

Well, yes, I enjoyed it.

I mean, the sex was incredibly,
in a spiritual and kind

of perverse sort of way.

But I did not want to do it.

So in that respect,
I did not enjoy it.

You know what this means, Mike?

I'm sure you're gonna tell me.

It means that I
feel violated too.

In some ways, I'm the
real victim in all this.

You know, when you talk shit,
it doesn't work on me, right?

I'm talking from
the heart, Mike.

If you had a heart, you
would apologize to Axl.

Back to the facts.

Axl nearly killed me with
that stunt in the bar,

actually killed me.

So he's the one who
should be apologizing.

You're incredible.

Well, that was
Gaia's take on things.

And you don't
give a shit that Axl

is now staring down
a long, dark tunnel

and not seeing a way out?

What?

You're seriously telling me
that Axl's gonna kill himself?

There's no way that
Axl would top himself.

It's not that tragic.

What if we're wrong
and we realize too late?

And if Axl dies, we die.

Yeah.

I'm acutely aware of that, Mike.

All I'm asking is that you
step up and do the right thing.

Shouldn't be too hard.

You're our man of words, right?

Two words, I'm sorry.

Yeah, course.

You're good at talking.

But when it comes to
doing, you're weak.

Axl's girl dumped him
and buggered off overseas.

Let him wallow for a bit.

Then, he can come back, get
on with his life, and ours.

Axl failed his course.

Maybe he's not seeing
too much of a life

to be going on with right now.

He failed Building Tech?

Is-- is that even possible?

Somehow Axl managed it.

Are you going to
apologize or not?

You mean, am I
gonna prostrate myself

in front of my little
brother and say,

I'm sorry for doing something
over which I had no control?

Never.

Stop being his father.

I can't, in the continued
absence of his actual father.

Let Axl fail for once.

He'll learn from it.

You don't exactly
overflow with the milk

of human kindness, do you?

I am what my mother made me.

And that's what you
want me to be to, Axl?

No.

I don't want to be
his mother either.

I'm merely making the point that
I am, by nature and by nurture,

a survivor.

And Axl can be too.

But I don't want him to fail.

You so mollycoddle him.

MIKE: What am I meant to do?

Well, finishing this
place would be good.

You said it would take a month.

It's a work in progress.

Progress can't profess
if you're too bloody busy

worrying about
everybody else, Mike.

[country rock music]

Ingrid, what are you--

Tyrone.

What the hell
are you doing here?

What does it look like?

You know the thing I like
most about this tune,

is it makes me horny and
angry at the same time.

How about you?

You need to leave.

Sex and vengeance, two
of my favorite things.

Leave, now.

The mortal telling
the god to depart

the very domicile that
the god so graciously

bestowed upon the mortal.

Doesn't seem fair.

By bestowed, you mean bribe.

It doesn't seem proper.

My house now to
do with this I wish.

Yes.

Your house.

Yours to sell.

But who's was it to ensure?

Yes.

Eva's.

That was Eva's job.

Oh, Daddy, thank you for
this beautiful house.

Is there anything
you need me to do?

Yes, Eva, my most
dutiful daughter.

You must ensure
this generous gift.

Daddy, would you do that for me?

And today, it occurred to me
that I may have just forgotten

to do that very thing.

So yes, it is your
house to sell.

And yes, you have
accepted an offer.

But who is gonna want to
settle on a house that

is nothing but a pile of ash?

Quickly, call for the Hodr,
the fireman of the gods.

He'll extinguish the flames
with this icy demeanor.

Oh, that's right.

Hods left the building.

And soon there'll
be no building left.

Yes.
Go on.

Scurry off, boy.

Oh, shit.

Ingrid.

COLIN: No.

Wrong away.

Ah, you're funeral.

Why is Colin
dancing in the lounge?

Whose house is it now, eh?

Eh?

Did anyone actually
see Colin there?

He vanished well before
the fire department arrived.

And the place is
well and truly totaled?

Oh, yeah.

He got me big time,
Mike, cleaned me out.

You still own the land, right?

He can't burn that.

By the time they got the
fire under control, it spread

to the neighboring property.

And they were not happy.

And they made it
abundantly clear that they

hold me liable for the damage.

So I'm guessing what I get for
the land will go toward that.

What a wanker.

So in need of
putting in his box.

TY: No.

I don't want to be responsible
for starting a war.

Personally, I think the war
started a long, long time ago.

TY: It's done.

It's over.

He's made his point.

He's had his jolly--

leave it, Mike.

I don't want you to
kick off some god

bullshit thing over me.

[phone ringing]

Mikkel, what can I do for
you at this ungodly hour?

Congratulations, Colin.

You're once again proved
you're a fucking psychopath.

But let's get one thing clear.

From now on, you stay
far, far away from Ty.

Don't worry, Mikkel.

I've washed my hands
of that traitor.

And you haven't?

He's still my brother.

And I stand up for
all my brothers.

COLIN [PHONE]:
That's very touching,

which just that hint
of homoeroticism

that you do so well.

Well, let me be clear
on one thing, Mikkel.

If either you or
your mortal brother

feels the need to run around
making certain accusations,

then I have two people here,
daughters of fine Auckland

families, the both
of whom will swear

that I was with them all night.

MIKE [PHONE]: I wouldn't
even bother, Colin.

Wise move.

MIKE [PHONE]: Because
when you get yours,

and you will, because
Loki always does,

it'll be at my hands.

Tell your insipid,
godless, coppers brother,

I'm truly sorry for his loss.

Enough?

For now.

So is there any chance that
we could stay for a while?

Mate, what brings you here?

Come in, guys.

First things first, these
guys need somewhere to crash.

You have a spare room.

Why?

My house burned down.

No shit.
How?

Colin.

ZEB: Loki burnt your house down?

Yeah.

Bummer.

Second thing, get dressed.

Why?

We're going to Tech to
talk to your supervisor.

It's over, Mike.

No.

Look, I am sick of
this family getting

the shit kicked out of them.

You're not going
down without a fight.

It won't work.

A fail is final.

Get dressed.

So let me just get this right.

You want them to be
our new flatmates?

No.

They're just people in need
who need somewhere to crash.

So they're flatmates?

No.

They're guests.

TY: Just for a while, til
I get back on my feet.

- And my feet too.
- No.

No.

That is cool.

Anything we can do to help.

Mi casa, si casa, and all that.

Can I have a word?

Guests don't
actually pay rent.

Zeb, have you heard
of the Good Samaritan?

The Christian parable
thing is really confusing

coming from a Norse god.

Say after me.

Yes, Mike.

I will give shelter to your
brother who had his house

burned down by a maniac.

And I am good with that.

But I have to pay the rent, man.

I pay your bloody rent anyway.

Axl's, not the spare room's.

This is absolutely
the last time.

Should we go two
weeks in advance then?

Welcome to your new abode.

- Oh, thank you, Zeb.
- Yeah.

Really appreciate it.

Happy to help out.

Grab your stuff.

So you guys are happy
top and tailing then?

That's fine by me.

MIKE: Good.

Let's go.

You OK?

The thing is Axl's
been through quite

a tough family time this year.

So I was hoping
a bit of leniency

might be in order,
if Axl could figure

out a way to make up for all
the classes that he's missed.

No.

I fully understand.

It isn't a problem.

Axl, you've
officially graduated.

How?

Your other brother,
Anders, isn't it?

He dropped in this morning,
explained everything.

I think you're a very
brave man, I suppose.

OK.

What exactly did Anders say?

The thing with Axl is that
family is the most important

thing in the world to him.

And for a lot of this year,
when he should've been studying,

he was spending it
helping his sister

Michaela as she
made the transition

to Michael, our newest brother.

Axl was amazing through
Michael's long and difficult

gender reassignment process, the
mood swings during the hormone

therapy, the disappointment
after the surgery

when Michael realized that he
was only ever going to have

a really, really tiny penis.

Axl was there the whole time
holding her and then his hand,

reassuring him that a small dick
is better than no dick at all.

And I think it'll be
morally wrong not to mention

a possible breach of
the bill of rights

to fail him for
helping a family member

with their sexual identity.

Don't you agree?

He's such a cock.

Interesting choice of words.

He didn't have to do that.

Hey, at least he was doing
something for someone else,

- for once.
- Not that.

I mean, dissing you like that.

There's no need.

It's just Anders.

I don't mind.

- Wanker.
- Yeah.

I know.

But it's cool.

You should be grateful.

The thing is Mike, I truly
don't give a shit whether I

pass this course or not.

In the big picture,
it means nothing.

OK.

That's it.

- We need a Bergerbar.
- I'm not hungry.

No.
A Bergerbar.

It's the type of
thing, a breaking

of bread between brothers.

It's time we had one.

Do we have to?

Yes.

In this tradition does
the oldest brother shout?

Why not?

He's paying for every
other bloody thing.

Everything that was
in my house is now gone.

Stacey did say you
wanted a clean slate.

I wasn't planning on slate
being quite this clean.

Well, at least we've
got a roof over our heads.

And for a couple of loses,
that's something, isn't it, Ty?

Ty's only a loser in the
sense he's lost everything.

Yeah.

That's what I meant.

I wasn't saying it
was a bad thing.

To not be chained by material
possessions can be liberating.

I quite like material
possessions, like clothes,

for instance.

Think of it like your
life has had an enema.

Strangely how it feels.

Yes, enemas do feel strange.

But they're also very cleansing.

Yeah.

I suppose they are.

And now, you can
follow your dreams.

- STACEY: Hi, guys.
- Hey, babe.

How was work?

Shittiest day ever.

I hate all cycle couriers and
everything to do with them.

Is that job still going?

Totally.

You'll love it.

It's a really rewarding
career, except financially.

You see?
Following you dream.

No, no.

I just really need a job.

Oh, you're gonna
love this job, man.

I hope so, lads.

You know, becoming a cycle
courier is like becoming

part of a brotherhood.

I can relate to that.

Yeah.

I mean, women can be in
that brotherhood too, but--

Right.

It's still a
brotherhood, but--

But with sisters in it.

Yes.
You got it, man.

You're so good at it.
You're doing to do great, man.

And you are good
to go, my friend.

Cool.

I should have a bike.

Yes.

Here we go.
This is the spare one.

It's an awesome bike.

We call it the Flying Pussy.

Right.

Used to be Shania's, but
she's not with us anymore.

So we don't talk about that.

Oh, I'm sorry.

- But the bike's still OK?
- Oh, yeah, yeah.

It's not like it's a girls bike.

This is totally a dude's bike.

Fixed gear.
Is that OK?

No, no, no.

I mean, after the accident.

I presume that's what
you don't talk about.

Well, shit no.

We talk about
prangs all the time.

They're badges of honor, man.
No, no.

I mean, she left to be
a motorcycle courier.

Completely sold out.

Right.

Still you should feel honored
to be in her saddle man.

I will be.

Cool.

Listen to your radio.

It'll tell you where to go.

Got it.

Hey, I got to shoot, but we
should catch up for a bevvy

real soon.

Brother from another mother.

See you, man.

See you, lad.

[phone ringing]

Mike.

A Bergerbar tonight.

- TY [PHONE]: A Bergerbar?
- Yep.

Does it matter that
I'm not a god anymore?

Still a brother.
TY [PHONE]: Then, yeah.

As if I can say, no.

MIKE [PHONE]: I'll
text you later.

So unfair.

No.

You can't come.

You're kidding.

MIKE [PHONE]: No.

Why?

Take a guess, dipshit.

Axl?
MIKE [PHONE]: Correct.

Look, I saved his
career today, OK?

I've done more than enough.

Yeah.

Bravo to you.

I'm still calling a Bergerbar.

And you do remember the
penalty for not attending one?

Yes, Mikkel, you pretty
much get to come to my house

and take anything you want.

And given the Ty
has lost everything,

you stand to lose a lot, buddy.

I so preferred you
when you were a woman.

I'll text the venue.

[sigh]

Get over it, Grandpa.

The term brother does not
extend to grandfathers

who act like brothers.

It's not my fault
I'm an only child.

You look lovely.

It's so nice going out for
dinner with your brothers.

Mike's paying.

I'm gonna order
everything twice.

It's a major
breakthrough, man.

It means significant progress
in brotherly relations.

Aren't you gonna
to give it to him?

Axl, I want you to have this.

What is it?

It's a man merkin.

I made it for you to
keep with tradition.

I need a man merkin, why?

Think not of it as a
merkin, more as a ball warmer.

A bergschrund is
where the glacier

breaks away from mountain.

It's very high up, very cold.

Traditionally, Bergerbars
were meals that brothers

shared at bergschrunds.

Freezing their nuts off,
staunching each other out,

those with ball
warmers lasted longest.

But there are no
glaciers in Auckland.

You don't have to wear it.

Just pop it down your
pants for good luck.

Isn't that the
same as wearing it?

ZEB: Go on, then.

You'll feel safer.

That means the
healing is happening.

Or just a free feed.

Good of you to join us.

ANDERS: Nice welcoming
speech, Mikkel.

Sorry about your place.

Axl, I hear congratulations
are in order.

You graduated.

Up your ass.

That's gratitude for you.

OK, let's sort
this here and now.

This is a Bergerbar.

Thought it was
more of a restaurant.

MIKE: Shut up.

I don't invent these terms.

This tradition exists to help
us through the minefields

we seem incapable of avoiding.

It's been a very
crap time lately.

So that's why we're here,
to mend some bridges.

Now, the rules of
the Bergerbar state

there is to be no bitching.

All grievances are
left at the door.

We eat.

We drink.

We talk about shit,
drink some more.

That's what we must do.

That's what we will do.

Are we clear?

Absolutely fine by me.

Well, well, who
brought, Mr. Happy?

Is that what smoke
inhalation does?

Happiness is a
state of mind, Anders.

Well, that's a fucking
genius observation, Ty.

Are we clear?

Are we clear, Axl?

Skal.

Could I get another drink?

Skal.

Bullshit.
It's not possible.

No.

Ingrid can actually be right.

I mean, I lost all my
worldly possessions.

Began a new start
and a new career.

I'm sorry.

In no one's book is a
cycle courier a career.

But it's a start.

Hi.
I'm Melanie.

Would you like to try some
shots of a new tequila

on the market called
Joe's Mescalero?

Melanie, that sounds grand.

Great.

If you like it, you
might want to play toss

the corn chip into my sombrero.

Anyone who gets it in
wins a whole free bottle.

Mike will do it.

He's great at games.

Yeah.

Who better to toss a chip than
a great tosser, like Mike?

MIKE: Sure.

After you guys, of course.

Oh.

OK.

That's a really small sombrero.

It actually is a
very small sombrero.

This in no way
makes me a loser.

- You're turn.
- No.

I'm good.

I'm only doing this so
you might cheer the fuck up.

Do it.

Happy?

Wow.

No one's ever actually
done it before.

Maybe it was a fluke.
ANDERS: Yeah, Mike.

Bet you can't do it
two times in a row.

Every chip a bottle?

That's the rules.

Are we agreed?

- Yes.
- Sorry.

That's the bottles they gave me.

At least you know they're
going to a good home.

I don't know how you did that.

Oh, my Uncle Joe showed
me, in-- in Mexico actually.

Hey, could we possibly
get bucket of ice?

- For the tequila?
- Yeah.

Yeah.
We we like it that way.

So dessert?

What are you doing?

[interposing voices]

Shut up and take
your medicine, Anders.

What the fuck are you doing?

Tonight was meant to be
about us, not your dick.

So get your shit together.

And stop fucking with
other people's wives.

You're such a cock.

You are a tool for the biggest
tool shed in the world.

But you are my brother.

So I guess I have to
fucking forgive you.

Whatever.

If I get frostbite on my dick,
I'm gonna mess you all up.

I'm sorry.

It's-- we're brothers.

It's a stupid tradition we've
had since we were young.

So yeah.

Here.
On us.

Happy birthday, for any
trouble we've cause.

- Hey.
- It's OK.

It's OK.
We're done here.

We are done.

Let's go, boys.

Oh, Jesus.

Oh, you're a tosser
and a gentleman, Mike.

You know, if I had any
money I'd chip in, right?

Yeah, yeah, right.

Thanks, bro.

OK.

Where's Axl?

I thought you guys
were looking after him

while I paid the bill.

What am I, my
brother's keeper?

In this case, yeah.

AXL: Hello.

This is God speaking.

Well, a god, one of
many as it turns out.

Oh, shit.

Axl, don't do this.

Axl, it's a really bad idea.

I may bot look like a god.

But I swear to you that I am.

Whoa.

I'll get him.

You may think that being
a god is cool, but no.

It isn't.

Axl, get down now.

And you might think
that being a god

makes you God's gift to women.

But no, because I have no
girlfriend at all, not anymore,

even though she was a goddess.

Maybe if you trimmed
your pubes, mate.

Axl, do not listen
to these drunk idiots.

Why not, Mike?

I'm one of them.

I am the god of drunken idiots.

Axl, get away from the
fucking edge and get down now.

Hey, everyone,
that's my brother Mike.

And he's a god too.

So what are you god of?

Y-fronts?

No.

I'm Odin.

I hope you can fly, Odin.

Can Odin fly?

No, Axl, you can't.

It would be a good
time to step in now.

Me?

Bragi, shut
these dickheads up.

But my powers
only work on one.

OK.

Who thinks I can fly?

Axl, you can't.

No, no, no, no.
None of you do.

None of you do.

That's my other brother.

He's the reason I'm up here.

No, Axl.

He's not.

Yes he is, Mike.

Hey, listen to me.

Look at me.

Hey, do not ignore me.

Lower your bloody
phones and look at me.

Whoa.

Weird geek with hairy pubes
on the roof is not funny.

It's actually a very
serious situation.

It's a genuine suicide attempt.

Kid literally on the edge.

So stop egging
him on, unless you

want to be responsible
for an actual tragedy.

Are we clear on this?

If we are clear on this, then
wave your hands in the air,

like you just don't care.

OK.

Axl, backing it up now, bro.

Wow.

Ty.

This is Ty.

He's not a god anymore.

Shut up and get
away from the edge.

Which is good, cause he had a
suck god, almost as suck as me.

Axl, please.

Now, everyone put
your hands on your head.

Oh, fuck.

This is genius.

- You good there Ty?
- Yeah.

Yeah.

I got this.

They don't believe me.

I'm-- I'm telling them the
truth and they don't believe me.

Isn't that sad?

No, no, no.

It's a good thing.

I'm so sad too, Ty.

You're so much happier
and you have nothing.

Thanks for the reminder.

I might be a bit drunk.

Yeah, teeny bit.

You're my best brother.

Will you stay my best brother?

If you come down.

Shit.

Oh, fuck.

- I wish I wasn't a god.
- I know.

I wish I was normal, like you.

Thanks.

Um, I might throw up.

Can you not do
it down my back?

No.

No guarantees.

OK.

Anders, we're done here.

Come on, Mike,
I'm just starting

to get the hang of this.

- Wrap it up.
- OK.

That's it.

Show's over, folks.

Delete everything
on your phones.

And remember, none
of this was true.

Hi.

Hi.

Is Anders in?

No.

Wow.

Look at you.

Yeah.

I've become a cycle courier.

Do I need to
sign for something?

No.

I don't have a delivery.

Because I-- I wanted to
offer you my direct number.

You know, sometimes if you've
got something super urgent,

you can't get through,
then at least you

know you could call
me direct and I'd only

be too happy to sort you out.

That's very kind.

Great.

Did Anders mention
my house burnt down?

Oh, my god.

No.

That's terrible.

No.

It's-- it's-- it's
actually a good thing.

I mean, as a house, it
never felt quite right.

Always had a strange
vibe about it.

Yeah.

It's funny you should say that.

Really?

Yeah.

I had the weirdest feeling.

Dawn, hey.

Little package here for you.

Ty, fellow soldier
of the streets.

Good to see you getting familiar
with the sexiest clients

there, bro.

Thank you, Lance.

She's so cool, eh?

Yes.

Yes, she it.

LANCE: Hey, still
on for this weekend?

I can't wait.

LANCE: You want to
go to same place?

It was cool there.

I had an awesome time.

Well, so did I, but only
because you were there.

Stop it.

All right.

We are sorted.

See you, bro.

Later, babe.

Bye, Lance.

Wakey, wakey.

Piss off.

Do you remember last night?

Bits.

Don't you dare ever pull
a stunt like that again, OK?

All right.

Bergerbar achieved.

I feel like shit.

Yes, you do, which means
the past's in the past.

It's time to move on.

You have a job.

Where?

I'm sick of paying your rent.

So you can earn it
and more by doing

my renovations, since you're
a bonafide builder now.

Congratulations.

You OK if I go pick
up some more property?

Yeah, sure.

Doing good, mate.

[music playing]