All language subtitles for The Almighty Johnsons S02E13 RERiP 1080p BluRay x264-YELLOWBiRD

I can't be with the woman I love.

And for her, you'd
renounce your god powers?

All right, bring him back.
I said, 'Bring him back'!

What the hell are you doing?

I wanna try something and
I don't want him to see it.

Oh!

Behold, she has power over death.

Damn, my favourite god-on-goddess
porn channel off the air.

He set you up to take this bar
so he could watch us and listen.

I'm gonna kill him.

She's gonna be Frigg?

No, Papatuanuku.

Tomorrow I turn 21 and one of two
things happens... I turn into this
goddess or that goddess.

I then spend the rest of time
with either you, whom I do love,
or Jerome.

Did you just say you love me?

Whoo!

Oh, where are you going?

The shower. Then work, to make the
world safe for capitalism through PR.

No. Not yet, you're not.

Huh? Oh.

Just forget about it, Mike.

Doesn't it make you sick to know that
he was watching us the whole time?

Or you could imagine Colin

insane with jealousy, watching the
awesome sex he's missing out on.

Fine.

Can we never leave this bed?

Works for me.

I can cope with that.

Except to eat, obviously.

What are you doing here?

Making sure you're OK.

Plus, for reasons I'm not entirely
clear of, Mike's girlfriend hit me
over the head with The Stick.

So I woke up here.

I told you, it was an accident.

Mm. So, how does it feel
to be mortal all over again?

Happy birthday.

Can we pretend it's not real yet?

Yeah. I can cope with that.

OK, coming in, decent or not.

Because today is goddess day.

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Zeb, you shouldn't have.

F for Frigg.

And Freki. Actual gold,
cos Frigg digs gold.

Maybe Odin could get you the
bracelet it off, seeing he
didn't get you anything.

I said, I've been a bit busy.

Yet somehow I found time to get
kidnapped by a giant and shop.

I told Axl I didn't want anything.
Besides, it's not like it's
certain I'll be Frigg.

I reckon if that's you want,
then that's what you'll be.

Which kinda leads me to I've never
been invited to any god ceremony
ever.

But surely, this one.

I mean, you guys are my flatmates.

Sure. I don't see
a problem with that.

Yes! You're totally gonna get Frigg.

I'll go.

We've come for our girl.

Hi, Stacey.

Come, we're away.

Are we?

Yes! You won't need
anything... it's all sorted.

What is?
Trust me... don't question her.

Where are we going?
Somewhere sacred. Goddess sacred.

Of course you are.
See you guys soon.

Him - yes; him - no.

Eh?
No mortals allowed.

They said I could come.

Well, they were wrong. The arrival
of a goddess is the most holy
of ceremonies

and will not be defiled by
the presence of a mortal.

I'll sit at the back and be quiet.

No, you won't, because
you won't be there.

Sorry, Zeb.

Is there some sort of
after-party I can come to?

No!

So close.

Come to throw an old man
out on the street, have you?

You're not that old.

To what do I owe this charity?

I need you to answer a question.

Dietary fibre.

What?

That's the answer to everything
a decent crap once a day.

How do I kill Loki?

Loki cannot be killed, just as Ullr
cannot be killed, just as Kvasir
cannot be killed

OK, OK, I get the picture.

Your question is moot and idiotic.

How do I kill the vessel
currently containing Loki?

Gun, knife, dodgy seafood.

Vessels are vessels; they come and
go, they're human, they're frail.

He knows I'm coming, and
he's more powerful than me.

How do I nullify Colin's powers?

Loki is all about fire.

What defeats fire?

Water.

And the closest thing
you've got to water?

Ice.

You don't have to worry
about me getting in your way.

You're fine.

You've got mortal things to be
going on with. Like claiming Dawn.

I'm not going to 'claim'
her; I'm going to woo her.

Woo?
Yes.

To win her.

OK. Well, good luck with that.

Thanks.

Do I need to list
all the indignities,

pain and suffering I have endured
for you and your stupid god family?

Please don't.

And now I don't even get an
invite to my flatmate's 21st.

It's not what you'd call
a standard 21st, Zeb.

But it still sucks. When you are
Odin, I want you to turn me into
Freki.

The actual Freki, as in wolf,
so I can bite people.

Serious arse-biting when I'm Freki
that's what I'll be about.

Oh, hey guys.

Freki dog.

We've come for our goddess.

Not here.

She's off with her goddesses, doing
stuff only goddesses are allowed.

Are you hiding her from
me, on this, our day?

Uh, no, and this has still yet
to be proven to be 'your' day.

Well, she needs to
be with her people.

She is with her people, apparently.

No, she's not.
I thought you were that.

Apart from us.
Well, clearly apart from us, Leon.

Well, it turns out I'm
only part of her people.

I thought I was part of her
people too, but not even close.

Look, she has other people
and is with them. Can we
just leave it at that?

But Maui needs his Papatuanuku.

OK, even playing along with the
whole Papatuanuku idea for a second,
she's still not here.

Could you maybe call her on the
telephone? It would be good for
Jerome to know that she is safe.

Yes. Yes, it would.

Fine, whatever.

But they're probably in the
middle of full-on goddess stuff.

Hi.

Hey. It's me. Uh, where are you?

At a secret location

Ingrid has sworn me to keep secret.

Yeah, that's kinda
what I told them.

Which 'them'?

Let me talk to her.

This 'them'.

My destiny.
Oh, hey, Jerome.

There is contemplation we need
to do together before we become
father and mother to our people.

Is there? Michele
wants to speak to you.

Which one is she?

Uh, the one whose goddess
name no one can pronounce.

OK, Maui boy, you might be cute,
but until this afternoon, she is
ours, and if you change that,

I will break you in half.

Kei te pai?

Ae.
Ka pai.

We will wait here until she returns.

But she's not coming back.

Look, I don't trust you, Norseman.

I'm from Hawke's Bay.

So, we shall wait.

I need your help... to deal to Loki.

When you say 'deal to'?

After everything he has done to
this family, he needs to be stopped.

And according to Kvasir,
you're the man for the job.

Did Michele tell
you about last night?

No.

If you're looking for
Hod to help you out,

I'm not him any more.

Bullshit!

I found a way, Mike.

We were supposed to talk
before you did anything!

An opportunity arose.

No. We had a deal.

Mike, I'm the happiest
I've been since I turned 21.

Sorry if it's in the way of your
revenge fantasy, but can you not
just?

This is not about me;

this is about the danger
he poses to our family.

Don't try and turn this
into something noble;

you're pissed off because Colin got
his rocks off watching you boink his
ex-girlfriend.

What he does attacks all of us,

the family that you just betrayed.

'Betrayed'?

Get a grip.

You just turned your back on all
of us. Get used to being alone.

And this is exactly the sort
of shit I will not miss!

How'd it go with the oil guys?

Consider them well
and truly drilled.

Oh! I knew you'd do the business.

Can I have my chair back now?

Um, that depends.

On what?

Whether you'll drill me as well.

Wow, classy double entendre there.

We have just landed hundreds of
thousands of dollars of work.
Don't you wanna celebrate?

This is good tea. What is it?

Tea bag.
Gaia buys it.

So I shall look forward to drinking
it every morning, with Gaia making
it for me.

Good luck with that fantasy, given
that she was in my bed this morning.

Today everything changes.

Or it stays the same.

Hey, where do you guys stand on the
whole 'mortals at the ceremony'
thing?

I'll bet you'll take your
non-god followers with you, right?

No.

Zeb, they're not
taking you with them.

You're not even a Maori.

In fact, you shouldn't even be in
the presence of the true gods of
Aotearoa.

I live here.

Not today. Begone.

You can't 'begone'
me from my own flat.

Zeb, maybe you should take off.
I'll text you with how it goes.

Gee, thanks, mate!

Way to make me feel real wanted!

And to think I was the only one that
got her an actual birthday present.

Leon, why don't you
go do that thing?

Oh, that thing that
we talked heaps about?

Yeah.

Yep. It's a good idea,
good idea, George.

You didn't get her
a present either, eh?

Sure, we did.

Tea?

Hmm? No.

Something stronger?

I'm OK. Nice flowers.

They just arrived - no note.

I thought they might be from you.

Why would I send you flowers?

As an apology, followed
by a retraction.

No, wasn't me.

So, what brings you to my house,
Anders, for the first time ever?

It can't be. I feel like
I've been here many times.

Yet you haven't.

Dawn, can I ask you a question?

I was at the office and thinking
about this question, but you
weren't there to ask.

That would be because you fired me.

As a woman, what is an acceptable
level of sex in a relationship?

Excuse me?

As a woman who's been in
relationships, how often
a day, as a woman, you could say,

before it's nymphomania? I mean,
I got nothing against nymphomania
as an affliction in women

it's much more appealing than having
one giant eyebrow - but it is really
hard work.

My dick hurts, Dawn.
It really really hurts.

The best thing, Anders, about losing
my job, is that I no longer have
to put up with your crap.

You don't know the answer, do you?

You can go now.

You, out.

I've taken enough shit
from the Johnsons for today,

so I'm drinking my beer
whether you like it or not.

Then sit in the corner and drink.

I can do that.

Did you know about Ty?

Becoming an ex-god?

Did you not think to tell me?

Well, this is the first time
I've seen you since last night.

Were you a part of it?

Up until the point where
your girlfriend felled
me with Yggdrasil, yes.

She what?

It's claimed it was an accident, but
I have my doubts. Mike, I have never
seen Ty happier.

What about we're a family of gods?

Well, now Ty is just the kid who's a
little bit different from the rest.

I can't believe you
went along with it.

Hey, I was intrigued to see if what
Kvasir said would work would work.

Kvasir. Of course.

He asked me a question; I answered
it. I don't make the rules.

He put you up to it, didn't he?

'He' who?

Loki. Don't you think it's a wee
bit coincidental at the same time

he's telling me we need Hod to kill
Loki, he's telling Ty how not to be
Hod any more?

OK, Mike, you need to step back.
We're not the killing kind.

Whoa, underground cavern under the
bar-very godlike. Hey, man, I'm
Zeb.

Out! Out! Out!

Hey! What did I do?

In our history, there have always
been those gods more likely to snap

and take out everybody around
them with an assault rifle.

Thanks for that wisdom, Kvasir.

You're welcome.

Ah! Eh?

You know I've got about a thousand
ice-boy jokes that'll go unused now?

Oh. Sorry.

I forgive you.

And I am truly happy for you.

Thank you. Unlike Mike, who thinks
I have defiled family honour.

Mike needs to get over himself. Hey,
when you were with Helen, what was
it like?

Um, brief.

As in not together long.

Yeah, but in that time, did you ever
find her... pushy and demanding?

Don't get me wrong, there's a lot
about Helen that sets her apart
from others.

That she's a goddess?

That she's up for anything,
any time, anywhere.

Which is the problem, cos I'm the
kind of guy that likes things on
my terms. You know what I mean?

I'm your brother - yeah, I know.

Yeah, so when I wake up and realise
that she's making plans for the two
of us, my sphincter... it clenches.

And not in a good way.

Idun and Bragi are destined to
be together... what did you expect?

Does this look like Asgard? I mean,
maybe later when Axl gets his Frigg
on, things'll change,

but we will cross that
bridge when we come to it.

Destined, Anders.

And I can live with that,
but on my terms.

Your idea of being together
is different to Helen's.

Mm-hm. And she needs
to be told that.

And she will not take it well.

Hey, which one of us here
is the god of sweet-talk?

Mm-hm.

Seriously? You got the earth
mother gardening vouchers?

Hey, you try shopping for
Papatuanuku... it's not easy, man.

Yeah, but vouchers?

Everybody loves vouchers
it means you can get what you want.

Yeah, wasting you, paleface!

Not yet, not-as-pale-as-me face.

Why play this? You suck at this.

Hey, Maui doesn't suck at anything.
Because Maui is a trickster, waiting
and lulling while I strike!

Yeah! Taste my Maori power, invader!

Hey, you know what'd be cool?
You not distracting me?

If there was a Maori gods versus
Norse gods video game. That would
be awesome and educational.

I get it Mike, I get your pride
is hurt, but Loki is the one god
we do not wanna go to war with.

So we're to let him treat
us like a bunch of nobodies?

Because next to him, we are a
bunch of nobodies. Our powers
are piss-weak compared to his.

Until Axl gets his powers.

I suspect when that day comes,
we will cease to be the Johnsons

and become a bunch of gods fighting
among ourselves, which is not a lot
different, just more amped.

You will be Ullr, the pretender
to the throne; I will be Baldr,
coolest god ever;

and Loki will
still be an arsehole.

Don't fight the natural order, Mike,
because the natural order is the
natural order.

Hi.

OK, I'm just gonna come out and say
this, because I'm sure if I think
about it, it'll all come out wrong.

I don't want us to
be just friends, Dawn.

I'm sick of that torture, because...

I love you. After all that we've
been through, I love you more
than ever,

and I want us to spend the
rest of our lives together,

starting with that holiday that we
never had and which I've booked

just the two of us, sun and
cocktails with little umbrellas,
somewhere so very warm.

Can we do that? Can...

Can we start over again?

Sorry, who are you?

Sorry?

Who are you?

I'm Ty.

The only Ty I know of
is my ex-boss' brother.

Yes.

Who I've never met.

What?

Did Anders talk to you about me?

No, only about his sore dick.

Did Anders send you to do this?

No. Dawn, it's me

Ty.
Anders' brother... yes, got that.

Does he think that a holiday will
make him firing me somehow feel
better?

Why the hell would I wanna go on
holiday with a man I've never met,

especially one who starts spouting
how much he loves me, on my
doorstep,

the first time I lay eyes on him?
What kind of fucked-up behaviour
is that?

Tell Anders thanks,

but no, thanks.

You've been busy.

If I'm going to become a hugely
powerful goddess today, I should
have something nice to wear.

Fair enough.
Where have you been?

Do you need to know where I've been?

Not if you don't want to tell me.

Good.

Glad we've got that sorted.

Oh, hey, I've been thinking.

Ooh! Is that so?
Uh, about us.

I guessed as much from the way that
you said, 'I've been thinking' in
the tone that usually precedes,

'and I think we should
call it a day.'

No, no, no. No way.

But I do think it wouldn't hurt if
we took a step back for a minute.

Step back? From what?

Is there a ledge we're standing on?

OK. Don't get me wrong... the last
few days have been the most amazing,

most intense relationship I've ever
had, and I most definitely do not
want it to end. Uh, it's...

OK, think of it like this... you
go to the most amazing restaurant,
you have the most amazing meal,

and to top it off, you have
the most amazing creme brulee.

In fact, it is so amazing you
order a second creme brulee.

But here's the thing... halfway
through the second creme brulee
you stop,

and you think, 'Oh, no,
that's too much of a good thing.'

You see what I mean?

I'm a second creme brulee?

No, we're each other's second creme
brulee. Which is why I think we need
to take a break between courses.

So that when we are together it'll
be this rare and beautiful and
special thing.

Like the first creme brulee?

Exactly. This is good,
Helen... trust me.

If we can get this right, then
who knows what the future will
hold for us?

I'm gonna go home

and get ready for this thing.

Absolutely.

If today is about us goddesses all
being beautiful and strong together

Which it is.

How come Helen
goddess isn't here?

Well, she's new to the rank, so she
hasn't fully been incorporated yet.

You forgot to invite her.

Plus she's a bitch.

No, I'm sure she's not.

You hate her because she's
more powerful than you.

Or so she thinks.

True that.

What do you mean?

Whatever happens today, Gaia
whether you become Frigg or
you go to the brown side

I want you to remember

No, none of that
stuff today, Michele.

I want you to remember
that in us, you have allies.

Why will I need allies?

Oracle Ingrid?

In a world of gods,

it's always good to have allies.

Is it too early to have a drink?

No!

Another one, thanks.
I told you... we're closing.

Oh, of course. I'm not allowed to
go to the thing, I can't go home,
I can't go down to the cool dungeon,

I can't stay here... talk
about feeling wanted!

Aw, let him stay, Mike. How much
can one runt drink while we're gone?

Oh, and if you're thinking of going
to the thing, you're his kind now.

She didn't know me.

Who?

Dawn.

She had absolutely
no idea who I was.

I meant nothing to her.

Tell me about it, buddy.
I know that feeling in bucketloads.

Wait. Zeb, do you
know who this man is?

No.
It's Ty.

Oh. As in your brother?

Intriguing.

He's not a god... why should I answer
bloody questions about him? He means
nothing to us.

Because I'm a god and I'm asking.

How come no one remembers Ty?

Well, you remember him, don't you?

Yes.
So what does it matter?

It matters to me!

The only thing that made him matter
was that he was a god. And now he's
not a god, he doesn't matter!

Not to them, anyway.

What 'them'?

The billions that aren't
us... the... insects.

Mortals?
Gone... poof!

Forgotten.

But Dawn didn't know I was a god.

Oh, yes, she did. Deep
down in that part of her brain
that used to worship us,

that used to use us to explain their
primitive world, she recognized you
as a god.

They all do. But then,
when you stopped being a god,

their ape brains can't cope with
that fundamental shift, and so
they just delete you.

Delete, delete, delete,
delete, delete.

Whereas to us you will forever
be the traitor that turned
on his own kind.

Why didn't you tell me any of this?

You didn't ask.

Hey! Hey! Argh!

Baldr!

Baldr!

As much as this would make the
world a better place right now,

unfortunately, I'm all
about peace and love.

Does it have to be a Ford?
I'm a Holden man.

Fjord, dude, like in Fiordland.

Oh, I wondered why te Waka
a Maui's Utu was paddling up a Ford

looking for the lost Patu of Tane
to defeat the Hammer of Thor.

Shh. So the berserkers,

they drop from the cliff, on to
a waka and have a battle sequence.

And if you're playing a Maori
god, you use a taiaha...

And if you're playing
a Norse god, you use an axe.

That's right.

Ah, but all the Norse guy has to do
is chop out the bottom of the waka,
and then it'll sink.

Unless a Ngai Tahu submarine
surfaces and rescues the
Maori warriors.

No, no, no, no, no, no!

When you fullas are
ready, there's a thing that needs
to be sorted.

We shall talk after my ascension.

It will be good for our peoples
to co-exist on a creative level.

I'll change in the bathroom.

Mm-hm.

Te dunny a Maui.

Don't you dare think about doing
this game without us, all right?

You don't get to be Maori these days
without knowing a couple of kick-ass
copyright lawyers.

I'm gonna be very late to
this ceremony because of you.

I need a favour.

For you, my mortal brother,
anything that is in my power.

I need you to do your
Bragi thing on Dawn.

But you hate me doing that.

I know, but I can't think of...

You mean coming back
to work for me, right?

If that's what it takes, yes.
But you hate her working for me.

I hate the idea of her leaving more.

Why do you need me to do this?

Why can't you just
'woo' her into staying?

An unfortunate side effect of me
losing my godliness is that Dawn
has wiped me from her memory banks.

Oh, that is genius!
And she... She has
no idea who you are?

To her I'm your brother
she's vaguely heard about,

who turned up on her doorstep for
the first time today and made a
dick of himself.

Oh no! Oh, this is,
uh... Oh, this is too good.

Are you gonna help me or not?

As I said before, Ty, for you,
I will do absolutely everything
that is in my power.

OK, I am on a bit of a timeline
here, so this will not take long.

Can you put in a good word for me?

Are you now asking me to abuse my
powers so you can get your end away?
That's morally dodgy...

but for you, bro... Eh?

Hi, Dawn.

I do not care, Anders,
if your dick is falling off.

I have had a gutsful of you
and your family today. What
is wrong with your brother?

What was that all about?

Forget him... he's the special-needs
kid of the family. I just wanna say
one thing.

What?

You should think, Dawn, about what
was really going on when you decided
to quit your job.

But you fired me.

You were upset and feeling
threatened, but there was no need.
It was all a storm in a teacup.

You know what'd be wonderful?
You could see your mistake,
be big enough to change your mind,

and come back to where you will
always be the only one I can
truly rely on.

Will you do that for me, Dawn?

Will you forget this whole 'moving
to Putaruru to look after your mum'
nonsense and come back to me?

My mum was actually quite chuffed

I need you too Dawn. I need
you more than anyone else alive.

Um, yeah, sure.

I'll be in tomorrow.

Love you heaps. Oh, and one more
thing... my brother Ty, he's not such
a bad guy, once you get to know him.

But there is one thing you
should be aware of about him.

OK, right.

OK. See you at the office.

All good. And I did your groundwork
for you, so don't worry. Home, James.

Come on, Leon. My bride awaits.

It won't start.

Turn the key.

He is turning the key, Jerome.

Get out and fix it, then, eh?

And get grease all
over my hired suit? Nah!

Punga, call us a taxi.

What, are we made of money now?

Is there a problem?

No, no, no. Nah, we're, um...

We're good.

Any chance of a lift?

Does Maui want a lift?

Oh, come on, Jerome.
Don't be a muzz.

A, uh... A lift would be an
acceptable show of goodwill
between our peoples.

Yes, please.
Thank you.

I don't wanna be late.

You really don't know anything
about goddesses, do you?

This is ridiculous.

I made these for us to wear for
Gaia. It's her day, not yours.

We're wearing them because you never
found out you were a goddess for
years, so you never had a 'day'.

That is so untrue.

Olaf will so get off on this look.

It's for Gaia, Stacey.

For Gaia!

Choice. Like Cinderella...

on acid.

And before you slam the door in my
face, can I please say how sorry I
am about before?

It was a stupid joke that Anders
put me up to, and it was wrong,
and I never should have done it.

So by way of an apology, I...

I don't think so.

Dawn.

And I'll fight today.

You're quite late.

Yes, I am. And I will just get
changed and then we will be on
our way.

Or we could skip it, stay here.

Uh, I think our
presence is required.

Oh, we don't need them.

- Odin and Frigg...
- Wet and wetter.

They have nothing compared
to what you and I have,

and if they choose to call our power
to account, then so be it. Because
we shall prevail.

You been drinking?

I've been thinking, Anders, about
what you said... all that creme
brulee shit. And you are wrong.

Thousands of years of
existence leading to now

cannot be cast aside because you
are having adjustment anxiety.

Idun and Bragi, Bragi and Idun.

I will not let you deny what we are.
Not until you've seen the heights
that we can climb together.

OK. Just... Will you
hold that thought?

Hello?

It's Natalie.

Uh, hi, Natalie. Come on up.

Two minutes to get rid of her, we go
to this thing, and we'll talk after.

As you command, My Lord Bragi.

Natalie! Maybe where you come
from this passes as humour

Sancte Michael Archangele, defende
nos in proelio contra nequitiam et
insidias diaboli esto praesidium.

I have no idea what you're saying.

It's the prayer to St
Michael the Archangel.

Ironically, I went to a very
Catholic girl's school.

You need to leave now.

What's the exorcism prayer for?

Because he is a demon who
must be driven from the world.

Oh, come on, that's a bit harsh.

And I will destroy your high
places and cut down your images

and cast your carcasses upon the
carcasses of your idols, and my
soul shall abhor you.

If this is about me not remembering
you from Norway, I am

There is only one God, and Anders
and his kind are abominations who
must be cleansed from the Earth.

I think she knows
you're a god, Anders.

Oh, and actually, you'll find there
are two gods in this very room.

Idun. And proud of it.

So you should put your
little bow-and-arrow gun down

and go back to whatever cult of
religious whackjobs sent you here

and let them know that we are
real and that we know the truth.

Ashtoreth.

Holy fuck!

Oh!

This is a good place. I can feel my
ancestors talking to me through my
feet.

Through your arse, more like.

She said to go to where
the land meets the water.

The edge.

And then what?
Well, I guess we wait.

For goddesses? Settle in, boys.

Tai...

ka riri.

Tai ka ruu.
Wiri wiri ana te ao.

OK! Hurry! Not much time!

Takarure rure nei ee.

OK! Lovely, lovely haka, boys. Thank
you, but excuse us if we don't go
the full protocol.

Uh, is everybody here?

Uh, we're waiting on Anders, who
is presumably has Helen with him.

And Ty.

Ty's not a god any more.

What?! Why does no one
ever tell me this stuff?

You look beautiful.

Thank you, Jerome.

Yeah, really beautiful.

Thank you, Axl.

We got you a birthday present.
It's not much, but...

Happy birthday.

Oh, thanks.

No, no. Nah. Nah.

What did you get her?
Shut up.

Garden vouchers... cool.

They, uh... They
symbolise Papatuanuku.

He's good.

Were you going to tell me about
your role in Ty's change of status?

I thought he should be the
one giving you the good news.
Do you have a problem with it?

Yeah, I do, actually.
It's what he wanted.

There's a bigger picture.
Oh shit, who invited him?

Greetings, haere mai

to you gods and would-be gods of
all sizes, shapes, genders and hues.

Who's this cock?
Loki. But 'cock' covers it.

And there they are... my favourite
couple. Do you know you've gone
internet viral?

I'll fucking kill you! You hear me?
Hey! Hey!

I will ruin you!
No! No! No! No! Stop this!

Right now! Do you hear me?

This is about Gaia. It is her day,
and I will not have it ruined by
gods killing other gods!

Now, do you hear me?! Hmm?

Right. The ceremony
is about to begin.

Excuse me. Are those, um...?

Are they sacred scrolls?

It's an astrological chart from
the web... Gaia's time of birth.

Oh.

Music.

We must immerse now.

In there?
Yes.

May the blessings of Rangi rain
down upon you, my Papatuanuku.

Uh, petals. Petals.

Wow, Anders does not look happy.

Mad Christian psycho bitch
who wants to kill us all!

What?

Insane Bible-quoting, uh, woman
Natalie... with a fucking crossbow,

fucking shot Helen through the
fucking heart! She is dead! Fuck!

She killed Idun?

Yes! Right in front of my eyes!

Ohhh. Not good.

Why?
Constant goddess.

No, why kill Helen?

She was trying to kill me,
then she killed Helen first,
so I got the fuck out of there!

And you came here?

Yes, to warn you!

Oh, great work, Anders!

We can't stop the ceremony.

Uh, stay here. Do not follow me.

Maybe we should just flag this.

No. We must know.

No, the light is almost upon you.

Who are you?

You're his brother.

Yes.

Abomination.

Which one are you?

I'm Ullr.

Thus saith the Lord God,
smite with thine hand and alas for
the evil abominations shall fall...

BOOM!

I love how they pause to quote
scripture before the kill
makes them sitting ducks.

Who was she?

A god-hunter, Mikkel. One of those
who feel we mess with the unnatural
order of things.

Clearly your dipshit brother
blundering around the north has
alerted them to our presence here.

Well done, the Johnsons! In fact,
on behalf of all non-Johnson gods
here in NZ,

I should wipe your miserable
family off the face of the planet,
save the god-hunters the trouble.

No.

Ah. Here she is

the most powerful goddess in town.

You bet your arse I am.

And don't I know it,

even if he doesn't. But fair call.
Come on... let's get back. We'll
miss the best bit.

Ooh, and do remember

you owe me your life.
You still wanna kill me?

More than ever.

Where's the gratitude

that's what I want to know.

This is way more choice than
mine was in the garden shed.

And behold... a new
goddess walks among us.

What?

My Lord Bragi,

it is I, Idun.

I have returned.

I am yours.

Oh, damn.

OK, what just happened?

The constant goddess.
Which means?!

Uh, we cannot survive
without an Idun.

And when the Helen one got killed,
her spirit kind of jumped the queue.

And whose prophecy was it
that she should be Frigg?

Oh, that's right... the giants and
dwarves, and they know everything
about everything.

Well done again, you Johnsons!

Bugger.

My Lord?