All language subtitles for The Almighty Johnsons S02E03 1080p BluRay x264-YELLOWBiRD

With Eva, when we
make love, I feel, Mike.

It's a cold that burns like being
reamed with rusty barbed wire,

but it's something,
and I think I like it.

It symbolises the
unbreakable bond we have,

the vow we took to be together
until death parts us.

Keys to the bar. If you can
pick them up, they're yours.

Three.

I just won a bar!

Is, um, Gaia here?

Why would she be here? She moved
out to Waiheke to live with you.

Any chance I can move back in?

I think Mike is warming to me.

- I don't think he is.
- He invited me to his bar opening.

No, he invited me
then I invited you.

So what gods do you think
will be there tonight?

Don't worry, Gaia will be ages
getting ready. She's a chick.

Still. Not around the house, OK?

- In case she gets a wind of our god vibe?
- Is that what we've got?

What if this party
spins out of control

like the last one?
She gets wind of it then.

It's a few quiet drinks, Zeb.

Let's get messed up.

What?

Nothing.

Nothing.

Is there gonna be free piss
at your brother's thing?

Uh, s'pose so...

for a while.

I feel the need to get wasted.

What?
Nothing.

Nope. All good.

Good. Drink up, then.

Mm. I'll have a slash, then
we'll do some damage.

Is it just me or has Gaia
loosened up since she came back?

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Briedablik.

Which is what?

Baldr's hall in Asgard.

No.

Why not? It was legendary as
the best party hall of them all.

Because if I name my bar
after your hall,

it's a license for your to
drink here all the time.

So, I haven't really told you
how good it is to have you back.

I'm not back in that way, Axl.

I know. I wasn't saying that.

You haven't really said a lot about
what happened with you and Jacob.

Don't talk about him.

You took your time.

Your brother hates me.

Oh, I thought he was warming to you.

I was wrong.

Mikkel.

Colin.

- Did you get that crate
of fizz I sent over?
- I did. Thank you.

Then break it out. Let's wet the
bastard head of your new money pit.

Hello, Axl.

How're they hanging?

All in the right place, Colin.

I'm loving your work, man.

Oh Jesus, Olaf.

I asked you to look after
the bar, not give it all away.

I'm dispensing unto my people.

Not any more. Now bugger off.

So... who's the guy with Gaia?

Dunno. Does it matter?

She's just broken up with her
boyfriend, and we should be,

you know, looking after her.

And I turn my back for two minutes,

and you let some stranger
hit on her.

Nah, she hit on him.

That's so... That's so fantastic.

So how does it feel, Mikkel,
having every man's wet dream?

Is that what I'm doing?

With your own bar, man. You're
the master of your own domain.

It's a job, Colin.

No, to you, it's a calling.

Oh, behold the armies of the night!

Up your arse.

Funny, that's exactly what
my proctologist said.

Holy crap.

You mind the bar.

Is that wise?

Mate, quick word.

It's family business
ours, not yours.

Can't it wait? We just got here.

Nah, it can't.

I'm fine.

You don't look fine.

You look like shit.

Oh, sorry, Almighty Odin, if I fail
to rise to your standards!

No need to be like that.

On a scale of one to 10,
how stoned are you right now?

Are you judging me, Grandpa?
That's rich coming from you.

No, it was an honest question.

I'm currently about a four.

Ty, we're just worried
about you, mate.

And I'm telling you don't be.

What the hell is this?

It's like a love bite.

You need to come downstairs now.

Oh, shit.

Hel called Sjofn a
father-you-know-what-ing whore,

so Sjofn smacked her one.

OK, OK, that's enough.

Jesus.

You could help, you know.

What for?
Come on, that's enough!

You, look after your wife.

Let me go! I'll bury the bitch!

No!

OK, that is a whole other level
of dysfunctional right there.

I like your bar.

- Definitely a points decision to you.
- Thanks, honey.

Thanks, honey.

Have I told you my war stories?

Yes, Grandpa, you have.

Then forgive me if I repeat myself.

- If this is the one about
the brothel in Cairo...
- No.

Not that one. The one
about Charlie Truman

the bloke who knew
he was going to die.

I was in the same unit as a bloke
called Charlie Truman,

who was convinced
he was going to die.

Then at El Ruweisat Ridge,

he did. Stepped on a mine.

Boom, gone.

That's not one of your
great stories, is it?

Thing was, Charlie had embraced his
fate long before fate embraced him.

And he had the same look
in his eyes as Ty does now.

Of course I wind up behind the bar,
because apparently I live to serve.

But you do it so well.

Same again, please.

No.

I have ID.

Don't care. Not serving
you. You're drunk.

So are you.

Doesn't matter.

Hey.

Hi, Axl.

Hardly had a chance to talk
to you all evening, eh.

Mm, nah.

Uh, you thinking about
heading home soon?

Cos I'm pretty
over all this too.

Oh, um, I'm going to a party.

Oh. OK.

I'll, uh, see you at home.

Are you gonna be OK?

I'll be fine. Thanks, Axl. Night.

Come on, then.

Night.

Have a slash and then
we're out of here.

May as well. No reason to stay.

I hear that.

You'll love this. It's
a rush like nothing else.

You ready, baby?

Do it.

This is the edge.

You are now walking the line
between life and death.

Isn't that fucking intense?

Sorry.

Ty, what are you doing to?
Shit, you're killing him!

Get out!
Mike!

Leave us! We know what we're doing!

You freaky bitch, shut up!

Come on, come on, come on.

And don't bother coming back, eh?

What about my husband?

We need to talk to Ty for a bit.

Prick.

What the fuck were you thinking?

They like it...

touching death.

Eva likes to take them to the edge
before we bring them back.

We always bring them back.

Using your power on mortals?

Finally it's useful for something.

No, no, you risk all of us.

You use your powers all the time
these days. Why shouldn't I?

Do you want a list?

Not really.

Makes me tired listening
to you sometimes.

Charlie Truman.

Who?

It's time for a thing.

I'd very much say so.

What's a thing?

You'll see.

I presume she's here.

Hi, Bryn. Come in.

Where is she?

I have no idea.

Well, her things are here.

Doesn't mean she is.

Then where is she?

When she came back from Waiheke,
she was upset about something.

What did you do to her?

I loved her is what I did.

Ewww!

Not like that, you cretin.

I cared for her as a father.
Now, where is she?

Not here.

Then I shall wait.

I have to go to a... thing.

If she turns up here,
don't let him take her.

What thing?

Just don't let him take her, OK?

Will do. Freki on the job.

Uh, don't know where you are,
but if you get this message,

your dad is lying
in wait for you at the flat.

Um, hope you're OK.

Call me. Bye.

We're calling a thing.

Oh, you're kidding.
I've got jobs to do.

You're a tradesman. People
expect you to be late.

Fucking...

I thought we were doing
something important.

We're doing the thing.

We're playing mini-golf.

Cos that's what we do while
we're doing the thing.

What thing?

'Thing' in the old language
means a gathering of the clan.

To play mini-golf?

To meet, talk, solve problems.

Mini-golf is something we added
over the years.

Guys tend to talk more openly when
they're distracted by sports.

Oh, right. Well, is this
thing gonna take long?

Cos I've kind of got a thing
of my own back at home.

It takes as long as it takes.

Grandpa.

Bullseye!

We're concerned.

There's no need.

We beg to differ.

Bulls... eye!

I chose my path, so
it's my path to tread.

What we're saying is should you
choose not to tread that path,

we will support that decision.

Oh, fuck's sake.

You don't want to go to war
with Hel - not on my behalf.

There's four of us - five if you
count Anders, so four in a fight.

We can take down one goddess.

I don't need you guys or
Mum fighting my fights.

Who brought her into it?

I'm fine is what I'm saying.
Will someone putt a fucking ball?

OK, even if you are fine,
which we all know is bullshit,

when you go around freezing people
for fun, it affects us all.

Are you scared I'll
blow our cover, Mike?

I think we're more worried
you're going to kill someone, Ty.

Oh, for fuck's sakes,
how is this fair

if every time he hits the
bloody ball in the hole?

A thing isn't about the golf, Axl.

It's about us telling Ty that we
love him and we're here for him,

and he should stop
being such a knob.

What if I love her?

Yeah, right, like that's possible.

I feel more alive around Eva
than I have done in years.

That's what Charlie Truman
said just before he died.

We don't want you to die, Ty.

Thanks for that, Mike!

And anything we can do to
make this so, we will do it.

If I stop the freezing thing,
will you leave me alone?

For now.

Consider it done.

No sign yet?

Of Gaia? Nah, just me and Bryn.

He's not big on conversation.

Hey, um, we're not entirely
sure when Gaia will be back, eh.

I'll wait.

In fact, I think she went to go
and stay with some friends.

Give me an address. I'll go there.

Why don't I tell her you were
here and she can give you a call?

No, that's not acceptable.

It's the best you're gonna get, pal.

I came for daughter;
I'll leave with my daughter.

That's not gonna happen.

You're going to stop me, are you?

Um, I think she might have a say
in this, you know, as a grown woman.

But, yeah, I'll stop you if need be.

I warned you, what I do to you

What? Rip my head off?
Yeah, I'd like to see you try.

Yes, I'm a slut. Is there a problem?

Oh, shit.

We're leaving.

You're not dragging me back
to that fucking island.

- It's for your own good.
- I think she knows what's good for her...

Ow!
Hey, that's not on.

You stay out of it. This has
nothing to do with you.

This has everything to do with me.

Whoa!

Get out of my way.

Not cool, not cool.

Guys...

Yo, yo, guys, guys, she's gone.

She's gone.

Gaia!

Gaia, you come here.

I need you to find Gaia for me.

OK, uh...

good work.

Hey.

Hey.

Are you OK there?

Drink's almost empty.

You've been hitting it a bit more
than usual since you got back.

Got no money for another one.

I can sort that out,
...if you tell me

what the hell is going
on with your old man.

You hurt me.

Heaps.

Yeah, I know.

Sorry.

I was so glad to get away from you

that I didn't pick up on it
for ages.

Dad and Jacob were so caring.

Everything I needed, one of them
made sure I had it to make me happy,

they said.

Except then I started to feel better
and... I wanted to go out,

to be around people again,

and they said, 'Sure, fine,
anything you want, girl,'

as long as they went with me...

and they were people
they approved of, oh,

and as long as I didn't
leave Waiheke.

Which is when I realised
I wasn't living at Jacob's.

I was a prisoner there.

I thought I was imagining it;
they were just being overprotective.

Then I found the cameras...

at Jacob's.

They I found the same set-up
at Dad's. And he has nothing

I mean nothing - worth stealing.

The cameras were
there because of me.

Did you ask them why?

What do you think?

Sorry.

Bryn got all flustered and started
talking about how the island

wasn't safe for a
young woman any more,

so I was, like, 'How come you
want me to stay here, then?'

Then he got even more flustered and
stopped making sense, so I left it.

Then one day I tried to leave,
and they caught me...

at the ferry building.

So the next time I cooked them up
a vegan crockpot

laced with some of Dad's hash,

waited till they couldn't
speak or move, stole a boat,

and that's how I ended up here.

Do I get that drink now?

So you have no idea why
the cameras and everything?

My father's and insane control freak
and in Jacob he's found a mate.

Boy...

do I know how to pick 'em
when it comes to boyfriends.

Stay here. I'll sort this out.

Hey, honey. How was your day?

OK.

Did you have fun with your brothers?

It was them Stacey saw you
driving away with, right?

Yeah.

Where'd you go?

Uh, we played mini-golf.

Why?

It's a thing we do.

That is so lame.

I s'pose.

So you played mini-golf with your
brothers instead of going to work.

That makes a lot of sense!

It's a thing we do
when we need to talk.

What did you need
to talk about today?

It was me, wasn't it?

They're worried about mortals
getting involved in our business.

Since when is our
business their business?

God business.

Ooh, god business.

Let's all get pompous
and speak in hushed tones,

because god business is serious
business. Well, screw that.

We are gods and mortals answer.

Whatever happens is their
fucking problem, not ours.

And besides, they love it
when you do your thing.

No.

It stops now.

Why?
Jesus, were you not listening?

Cos your brothers say so.

Because I say so.

Fine.

It was getting boring, anyway.

Stacey, stay for dinner.

It's OK. I'm... I'm good.
Thanks for asking.

No, you're staying for dinner.

Ah, you're back. Is she with you?

- What are you doing?
- Trying to find my daughter.

By tying my flatmate to a chair.

You weren't here.

So you tortured him?

What? Don't be absurd. He wanted
to leave; I needed him to stay.

The chair was the only solution.

But he doesn't know where she is.

I know that now - hence the gag.

He was starting to annoy me with
his whiny voice. Where is she?

Why did you and the jeweller keep her
prisoner with cameras and everything?

Who told you that?
She did.

So you've seen her, then?

Yeah, obviously, otherwise
how else could she tell me?

I wasn't keeping her
prisoner. I was protecting her.

From what?

From... many things.

Such as...?
You wouldn't understand.

Yeah, the thing is, I think I might.

Is that so?

You want to look after her? Me too.

I was gutted when she left here,

and now she's back,
and I don't want her to leave.

Not that I'd put up cameras
and that shit cos that's surreal

and way out of order.

I need to keep her safe.

I get that. You're a dad. But,
far out, man, there are limits.

No, you don't get it.

Then tell me.

Gaia... means the world to me.

She's all I have.

Then let me tell you something: if you
try this keeping her prisoner shit again,

you will not see her for dust.

And she won't come running back
here, because she will be gone,

and neither of us will
ever see her again.

Do you want that?

Do you want that?

Is there a problem, Stacey?

I'm actually, as you
know, a vegetarian.

But it's rude to not eat the food
your host puts on the table.

You don't have to eat it, Stacey.

She's a fucking handmaiden.
She does as she's told.

It's OK. I'm one of those
veggos that sometimes isn't.

Is there a problem with my cooking?

I think the meat might be off.

Oh dear, that sometimes happens
when I get upset. Sorry.

Eat up.

You're not serious, right?

What do you think, Stacey?

Eva, knock it off.

She needs a lesson, Hod, in
the natural order around here.

If you're angry with me,
take it out on me, not her.

Go, Stacey. Get out of here.

Hey!

Let go!

Oh, come on. You're a handmaiden.

You should expect this sort of
thing from time to time.

Which screwed-up parallel universe
do you and her live in?

The one you are currently
getting blood on my floor of!

Your daughter is a wackjob.

That does not change the fact
that you are only a handmaiden.

To be honest, you look
like the sort of girl

who enjoys that sort of thing.

Class act you've hooked up with!

Stay still.

So you agree with him, then?
It's OK to cut the home help?

Only if they don't stay still.

No, I don't think it is right to stab
someone just because they're a handmaiden.

Gee, thanks! Does your boyfriend
know you share this radical view?

Prime bitch right there.

Could use a lesson in proper
behaviour for a goddess.

I don't give a fuck if she is Hel.

OK, big fan, then!

Stay still.

I was just about to call you.

Oh, shit.

Oh, hey, it's Axl. Come
and meet my new friends.

This is my friend Axl.

Hey, Axl. Nice to meet you.
Hey.

You are my friend, aren't you?

More than you know, and, uh, you
have to come home with me now.

Oh, is my dad still there?

Yeah, but it's all good.

Ooh, good, because there are a few
things that I wanna say to him.

My father is a prick.
It was nice seeing you all.

Bye.

You wanna sort that
tab out now or...?

Very funny!

I'm really gonna give it to him, eh.

Sure you are. Sure you are.

Yeah, really looking out for her!

Hey, she wouldn't be like
this if you hadn't shown up.

That's not necessarily...

Do you want to get tied up again?

I wanna talk to my daughter.

It's not gonna happen tonight.

I'll sleep on the couch, then.

It's like old Gaia went to the
island and new Gaia came back.

Do you hate me?

No, of course not.

I don't know why I do those things.

It's like there's
this whole other me,

and sometimes I can't
keep her locked up.

I know that.

It's just in future,
take it out on me.

That's what I'm here for.

Do you know what we should do?

Does it involve branding
irons or freezing people?

No.

No, none of that stuff. You're
right. That's all bullshit.

We need to leave that crap behind.

We should have a baby.

Wouldn't we make the
most amazing baby ever?

She'd be strong and
powerful and beautiful.

Ree.

Let's do it.

Let's make babies.

God, are you all right?

Hi, Dawn. Good to see you too.

Seriously, you look awful.

Is Agnetha here?

No.

Will she be here soon?

Possibly. Some days she is;
some days she isn't.

And today here she is.

I need to speak to you.

Come on.

Eva wants us to make babies.

That's normal - apart from
the bit where Eva's involved.

Yeah, but what will it be like?
I mean, us raising babies.

I mean, will it make things better,

or will it all turn to shit like,
you know...?

Like what?

Like it always does with our kind.

What are you asking me for?

You lived through it.

And I remember what it was like.

Come here! You're
in so much trouble!

You need to stay here. Tyrone,
Tyrone, you need to be quiet.

You were my little hero.

Let me go! I want to kill him!

I know. I know you do,

but I need you stay in your room
till I tell you it's OK to come out.

It's wrong, you know
the way it was with Dad.

Why does it have to be like that?

What do you want, Tyrone?

Do you want me to reassure you
that if you and Eva start breeding,

everything will magically be OK?

I owe you, so here's what I'm gonna

You don't owe me.

No, you're wrong. You saved my life,
so I'm going to save yours too.

I want you to go and
join Anders up north.

There's something up there
we need, so I sent him to find it.

But it's Anders, so the chances
are he will need help.

So your solution to my problem
is to send me to Norway?

You married Eva
No, let's give it its proper name.

You ended up in Hel
out of an obligation

one that has been
well and truly paid.

- There is no reason
for you to stay with her.
- I can't...

And I know she's addictive.

You ask is it always like your
father and I, then, yes, it is.

Put a god and a goddess
together, it's an addiction.

But by sending you
to the other side of the world,

I can break your need of her.

Then I can consider my debt paid.

Don't go back out there.

I... I need you
to keep this safe for me.

Now, listen, this is
a very important job,

because this is magic
this, yeah.

OK, it keeps everybody safe,

as long as a brave boy is
wearing it, all right?

And then when this is over
and this is gone again,

then you can give it
back to me, OK?

OK?

All right, good boy.

OK, shh. Shush, yeah?

How dare you?! How dare you
hurt a child?! You coward!

See? You made me strong,

so I could fight him.

What's this?

Did she do this to you?

It didn't really hurt.

It's one of the few
advantages to running cold.

I have to go.

Please, think about my offer.

I will.

Hello?

Hello?
Shh.

Nice trick.

You try it. I think you'll find
it's a little more than a trick.

I bet.

Who are you and why
are you in my house?

I'm a friend of Ty's.

Do you have a name, friend of Ty?

Dawn.

Boy, I bet you had
a shit time growing up

all those boys making jokes
about the crack of Dawn.

Not really.

OK, that's who you are.
The why still alludes me.

I'm worried about Ty.

Is that so?

Have you seen the
way he looks lately?

Not since we made love this morning.
Why? Has he changed since then?

He looks like he's dying.

We're all dying, Dawn,
from the moment we're born.

Death is an inevitability.
Isn't that great?

Not really.

So when you say you're a
friend of Ty's, what I hear

is that you're this whore
who used to screw him.

I was his girlfriend, yes,

before you came along.

Ah.

And you still have an
emotional attachment to Ty.

I worry about him.

A lot more as of late.

That is so sweet.

That is so unbelievably sweet.

Are you sure you don't
want anything to eat?

Do you have anything uncontaminated
by chemicals or the stench of death?

Probably not.

Then I'm good, thank you.

I'm not going back to that island.

Yes, I know, and I won't force you.

Good, cos I'll hit you.
I really will.

I simply want to know
that you are safe.

Safe? From what?

Life? By locking me in a tower?
What fucking century are you from?

Yes, well, I realise now

that I might have gone
a little overboard out of love.

Love is not fucking
suffocating someone to death.

What kind of messed-up way
of thinking is that?

But that's over now, isn't it, Bryn?

Yes.

No more 'prisoner on
the island' stuff, eh?

No, unless you want to come back.

Why would I want that?

There might be a reason.

Hi. Is it OK if I come in?

No, it's not.

I want to speak to Gaia.
Too bad. Hook off.

Hey, come on, now.
That's hardly fair.

I don't give a shit. Piss off.

Well, who's the control freak now,
eh?

I mean, maybe
she wants to talk to Jacob.

He was her boyfriend after all.

If you don't want to talk
to him, just say the word.

Whatever. What do you want?

In private, if that's OK.

Fine.

I'll be in my room
if anyone needs me.

Can we have a quick word?

Don't go anywhere with him.

We had a deal. No more trying
to drag her back to the island.

We do and I'm not.

So, what, it's chance that
he shows up here today?

Jacob is his own man doing
what he feels he needs to do.

I love you, Gaia.

So, please...

will you marry me?

No, no, no, no. You two
are up to something.

Now he has the nerve
to ask me to marry him.

Can you believe this shit?

I need a shower.

If you leave now, you
might make the next ferry.

Your girlfriend came round.

I don't have a girlfriend.

She was worried about you.
Apparently it's all my fault.

I tried talking to her, but she
really wasn't listening to reason.

Are you talking about Dawn?

Dawn, Dusk, whatever.

She's your problem now.

Eva, what have you done?

Dawn?
In here.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

Your wife is a psycho bitch.

Get a blanket!

Get it yourself.

Take me home.

Bye, Dawn! Nice chatting.

I'm sorry, but your wife
is certifiably insane.

You should drink the hot chocolate.

I should be going to the police
is what I should be doing.

Yeah, I know.

But I won't...

if you don't want me to.

Let me deal with it.

How?

Drink the hot drink, get warm.

I'll be out here if you need me.

You don't have to stay.

Until I know you're OK.

She wants to go to the cops.

Can't blame her.

Eva's getting more...
all over the show.

More barking mad.

Stronger.

God, goddess - together they grow.

And not in a good way.

They're not so big on
humour, are they, they giants?

No, they're not.
Please don't piss them off, not now.

If one more calls me a dwarf, I'll
stand on a chair and smack 'em.

You're there to use your
power of speech, Anders,

not your power to end up
getting beaten to a pulp.

Hang on.

Hi.

I thought you should know I'm gonna
pass on the trip to Norway.

I don't think that's a good idea.

I'm not leaving.

But thanks for the offer.

Go north. Do what you're there for.

Oh yay, even more cold
I can't wait!

Hey, does my chest hair
look weird to you?

I think being around these
hairy people has mutated it.

Decided to come home, did you?

So is your girlfriend still
in the land of the living?

What the fuck do you want?

Where have you been?

Work. What are you
doing on the floor?

Couldn't sleep.

Didn't think you
were working tonight.

I got called in.

Something's not right.

OK, what?

No idea, which adds to the whole
'something's not right' scenario.

Is this something that isn't
right something to do with me?

Still unsure.

Well, is there any way I can help
take your mind off whatever it is?

I'm sure there is.

It's what you're best at, isn't it?

Oh, you make it sound cheap
when you say it like that.

One thing you are not...

is cheap.

Ugh, pass.

Ahh, she does have limits.

Yeah, she does.

Just as well, seeing as
I am now your legal guardian.

What?

How else do you think I got your
dad to back off and see sense?

Me and Zeb, we own you. It's
our turn to worry about you now.

Yeah, and you thought your
last prison was tough.

Is that so?

I'm afraid so.

Well, you can worry about me
sleeping for the next 12 hours.

We can manage that.

Oh, and, by the way
whatever you did, thank you.

No worries.

And an excellent shot
to the nuts, may I say.

My teachings are paying off.

Which teaching are these?

My Odin teachings.

You handled this whole thing
with a manliness way above
your usual, my Padawan.

Stop with the Star Wars shit, OK.

But she is not the one
you are looking for.

Who isn't?

The cute flatmate.

She's too old, and unless there were
Maoris in Asgard, the wrong hue.

Yeah, I know.

Eyes on the prize, My Lord.

Eyes on the prize.

- Hey, what are you doing up?
- I thought you'd gone.

Yeah, I was awake
and you were asleep,

so I went out to get food and coffee
and stuff for when you woke.

You shouldn't be up.

I'm fine. Warmer, for sure.

That's good, but I still think
you should go back to bed.

What about the food?

Take it with you.

I don't like eating in bed - crumbs.

We used to eat in bed.

I used to make exceptions.

After you left, I would vacuum.

OK. But I still think
you should have some food

and something warm
to drink and then go back to bed.

Maybe.

And I should go.

You look much better this morning.

So do you, actually.

- I'm sorry for what happened.
- Don't apologise.

It wasn't you.

Eva.

Get out here.

Get up.

Fuck!

Oh, shit. Hold on, baby. Hold on.

Eva!