All language subtitles for The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet S05E30 The Sculpturing Class 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP2 0 H 264-CRFW (1)_track4_[eng]

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America's favorite
family, the Nelsons--

Ozzie, Harriet,
David, and Ricky.

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Tonight, from Kodak, a wonderful
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And now Kodak invites you
to enjoy "The Adventures

of Ozzie and Harriet."

- What the heck is that?

- Oh, it's clay.

Your mother got it for
the sculpting class.

It's the Women's Club
project for the month.

- Off again, huh?

- Don't let your mother
hear you say that.

Though I must admit,
those women dream up

some of the silliest things.

- Don't let your wife
hear you say that.

- Oh, hello, dear.

I was just telling the boys it's
the silliest thing not to have

a nice hobby, like sculpture.

- Or something like that.

- I was just kidding.

It sounds like a lot of fun.

- I think so.

- What's the first thing
you're going to do?

- Well, Mr. La Scala--

he's our instructor--
he suggested

that we try the form of a man's
head, along classical line.

- Gee, that sounds
pretty ambitious.

You mean with a laurel
wreath and all that stuff?

- Yeah, something like that.

Depends on who I
get for my model.

- Well, don't look at me.

I'm not the classical type.

- Well, I think you'd
be just perfect.

Mr. La Scala said somebody with
strong, masculine features.

- Look, I know I usually
fall for that sort of stuff,

but this time, no.

- No, I mean it.

I think you'd make
a wonderful subject.

- Harriet, I don't want to
be the model for a statue

and that's final.

- It's too late, Pop,
you've already posed.

- Notice the strong,
masculine features.

- Hey, you guys, stop fooling
around with that clay.

[music playing]

- Would you mind passing
me the sugar, please?

- Oh.

- Thank you.

- May I have a menu?

- Certainly.

- Thanks a lot.

- Would you mind passing
the cream, please?

- Oh, yes.

May I?

- Oh, please do.

- Oh, hi, Oz.

- Oh, hello, Doc.

- Would you mind
moving over, please?

- Oh, not at all.

- Thank you.

What are you going to have, Oz?

- Oh, I don't know.

I think I'll start off with
this cream of asparagus soup.

- Cream of asparagus soup?

I thought you were
watching the old waistline.

- Oh, yeah.

Maybe I'll have some
of this fried chicken.

That's usually pretty good here.

- Fried chicken?

Isn't there something on
the menu that isn't fried?

You know what that fried
stuff does to your stomach.

- Oh.

I guess you're right.

Maybe I'll just have a sandwich.

- A sandwich?

Do you realize how many
calories and how much

starch is in a sandwich?

- What do you think
I ought to have?

- Have whatever you like,
Oz, it's your stomach.

- I think I'll have a
chocolate malted milk.

No, no.

- What will you
have, Mr. Nelson?

- Oh, I'm just--

well, I guess I'll have a
couple of soft-boiled eggs

and some weak tea.

- Yes sir.

What about you, Dr. Williams?

- Oh, let me see.

I think I'll have a
large bowl of that cream

of asparagus soup, and the
fried chicken on the lunch.

Give me a couple of
slices of bread, will you?

- Yes, sir.

Anything to drink?

- Yeah, I guess I'll have one
of those thick malted milks.

- Right.
- Now, wait a minute.

You're ordering all the things
you told me not to order.

- Well, I'm a doctor, Oz.

If I get sick in the
middle of the night,

I can write myself
a prescription.

If you get sick, I got to
get up and make a house call.

- Who are you kidding?

You just don't have
willpower enough

to follow your own advice.

- Thanks.

Say, tell me, Oz, did
Harriet say anything to you

about that sculpturing class
the girls are attending?

- Oh, yeah, is Shirley
attending that, too?

- Yeah, she did mention
something about it.

Tell me the truth, Oz,
you think I have nicely

chiseled features?

- Don't tell me your wife
asked you to model, too?

- Yeah, I wish I had the time.

I'd like to do it.

- Oh, you must be kidding.

- No, of course I'm not.

In fact, I'm very flattered
that she asked me.

You going to model for Harriet?

- I don't know.

I don't think so.

- Well, it isn't every
man that gets a chance

to have a bust made of himself.

In fact, darn few men
have ever had them, just

men like Julius Caesar,
or Cicero, Beethoven.

Yeah, it ought to
be kind of nice.

Something for posterity.

- I never quite
thought of it that way.

- Well, you didn't refuse
to do it, did you, Oz?

- Well, I did say no.

But of course, Harriet
knows when I say "no,"

it means "yes" or "maybe."

- Must have a pretty
confusing relationship.

- Well, no, not when
you understand it.

- Well, I think you ought
to give it some thought, Oz.

Of course, it's up to you.

Don't let me talk you into it.

- Oh, don't worry, Doc, you
couldn't talk me into anything.

[music playing]

Oh!

Hi, officer.

Just trying out a few poses.

My wife is taking a
course in sculpturing.

You know how crazy
those wives can get.

She wants to model my head.

See you, officer.

- Oh, hi, Sarge.

His wife's taking a
course in sculpturing.

[music playing]

- I hope everybody's going
to have enough room in here.

- Oh, we'll manage.

- Oh, I think this ought to
go over a little further.

- Where is he going to stand?

- Well, I figure
just about over here.

Let's see if I can get
some more card tables.

- Well.

Gee, hello, girls.
- Hello.

- Mr. Nelson,
you're just in time.

We're almost ready to start.
- Oh, good.

- I bet you didn't expect to
find us all here, did you?

- Well, no.

It's OK, it's fine.

- Well, we all
needed a good model,

so Harriet talked
to Mr. La Scala,

and he suggested we
work together over here.

- I hope you don't mind.

- Oh, no, not at all.

The more, the merrier.

Well, try to keep out
of mischief and I'll

be back in a few minutes.

- Isn't he nice?

- Oh yes, he's
always so friendly.

- Boy, they really
landed, huh, Pop?

- Oh, you mean all those
women in the living room?

- Yeah, there must
be about 100 of 'em.

- Oh no, it just seems that way.

There are only about
eight or 10 down there.

Your mother was
pretty sure of me.

I guess she knows me
better than I thought.

- What do you got there?

- Well, I picked up a
costume on the way home.

- Don't tell me you're
going to pose for them.

- Well, what am I going to do?

Your mother's counting on it.

- Well, all I can
say is good luck.

[music playing]

- Oh hi, Mr. Nelson.

- Hi.

- Aren't you feeling well?

- Oh, just, just
a little headache.

I always wear-- never mind.

Who's that guy?

- Mr. La Scala.

We talked him into
modeling for us.

Isn't he handsome?

- I suppose so, if
you like that type.

Looks a little
muscle-bound to me.

- Oh, hello, dear, I
didn't know you were home.

- Oh, well, I've just
been here a little while.

- Well, come on in a minute.

I want you to meet Mr. La Scala.

This is my husband, Mr. Nelson.

- How do you do?

- How do you do?

I don't mean to interfere.

- Have you ever tried
any sculpturing?

- Well, no, not actually.

- Mr. Nelson?

- Oh, yes, yes, it's very nice.

- Well, thank you, but would you
mind moving just a little bit?

- Oh, of course.

- Mr. Nelson?

- Oh.

Sorry.

[phone ringing]

Hello.

- [ON PHONE] Oh, hiya, Oz.

- Oh, hiya, Doc.

- [ON PHONE] I
understand all the girls

have gone over to your
house, and I was just

thinking, if you still
don't want to model--

- Oh!

Well, don't worry
about that, Doc.

It's all been taken care of.

- [ON PHONE] Well,
you're sure now?

- Yes, I'm positive.

- Well, OK.

[music playing]

- Harriet?

- Oh, hi, Pop.
- Oh, hello, Rick.

Where's your mother?

- She went downtown.

She'll be back in a while.

I'm just waiting
to do my homework.

- What are you waiting for?

- For somebody with
the proper authority

to come home and
tell me to do it.

- I heard that.

Come on, go up and
do your homework.

- I question your
authority, but I'll do it.

- Oh, by the way,
Pop, Mom said not

to touch any of those heads
in the living room there.

- Holy smokes!

It looks like a museum in here.

- Yeah, they're having unveiling
at the Women's Club tomorrow,

and we're not supposed
to see 'em till then.

- Oh.

[doorbell rings]

- Just a minute.

Oh, hello, Wally.

Come on in.
- Hi, Oz.

- Nice to see you.

- Say, is my wife's head here?

I'm supposed to bring
it home with me.

- Right in there.
- Oh.

- Take your pick.

Got a whole living
room full of them.

- She tells me this La
Scala guy's really great.

- Well, he may be all
right as a sculptor,

but he strikes me as
being a little childish.

- Oh, really?

- Yeah, he sticks his
tongue out at people.

- This is ours, I think.

I recognize the towel.

- You realize, don't
you, you're not

supposed to look at this
until the official unveiling

at the Women's Club tomorrow?

- I know, but I can't wait.

Well, how about that, Oz?

That La Scala
looks just like me.

- No, no, he doesn't look
anything at all like you,

Wally.
- Well, look here.

This certainly does, huh?

Without the mustache?

- Gee!

By golly, you're right,
it looks exactly like you.

- You know, this
has very interesting

psychological overtones.

- Oh, Wally, what kind
of double-talk is that?

- Don't you see?

My wife uses this
La Scala as a model,

but evidently, all
she can see is me.

I, I think that's kind
of nice, especially

after we've been
married for 22 years.

- Oh, well, Wally, just
cause that happens to look

like you doesn't mean anything.

- Oh no?

Whose is this?

- Well, I think Doc
Williams' wife made this.

- All right, let's take a look.

Now, Oz, how about that?

- That looks exactly
like Doc with hair.

- Yeah, see what I mean?

Isn't it interesting?

Subconsciously,
the wife can only

see her husband, even though
another man is posing.

Where's Harriet's?

- Well, that's one of
our towels over there.

- All right.

well, go ahead, Oz, uncover it.

- Well, no, really,
we're not supposed

to be looking at these.

- Now Oz, we're on the verge
of an interesting discovery.

And if my theory
is correct, this

should be a dead ringer for you.

- It is kind of fascinating.

- Come on.

- Well, that, that's a
dead ringer, all right.

It's a dead ringer for La Scala!

- Yeah.

Well, I mean, that
doesn't mean anything, Oz.

- Well, certainly it does.

- No, no, no, it doesn't.

Because my, my theory had
no foundation, you know?

I shouldn't even have--

I, I-- wait a minute,
wait a minute.

It does mean something.

It, it means that
Harriet is a better

sculptor than the other girls.

- Yeah, she-- sure.

- Well, I'll, I'll
see you later, Oz.

- Oh, you want me to give
you a hand with that?

- Oh, no, no, no, stay
where you are, Oz.

I can handle it.

You know, it is
amazing, though, that--

oh, I wouldn't worry
about a thing, Oz.

- Ozzie?

Oh, you got home before I did.

- Oh, yeah, I did.

- Who took one of the heads?

- Oh, Wally just came
by to pick it up.

- Oh.

Say, by the way, dear,
would you do me a big favor?

Would you take the head I
did down to the Women's Club

tomorrow for the exhibition?

- Oh, yeah, sure.

- Hope Wally doesn't look at
the head that Dorothy did.

It's supposed to be a surprise.

- Well, yeah, I, I--

he knows that.

- Well, I better
get dinner started.

[music playing]

- Harriet, I'll meet you
down the Women's Club.

- OK, try not to be late.

You don't want to
miss the unveiling.

- No, I'll be there on time.

- Have you got the head?

- Yeah, it's right here.

- Are you sure
it's the right one?

- It's the right one.

- Careful with it now.

- Jeez!

- Oh, this is the
head your mother made.

I'm taking it down
the Women's Club.

- Be careful of it.

- Pardon me.

I'll sit in the back here.

- [SLURRING] Say, don't I
know you from somewhere?

- I don't think so.

- [SLURRING] Oh, sure I do.

I never forget a face.

- Well, it's possible.

- [SLURRING] Hey, that's
a pretty good trick

you got there, talking
without moving your lips.

His face is very familiar.

Want to get off at
the next corner.

- I'm sorry, I lost
my head for a minute.

Might as well make
a joke out of it.

Boy, I hate to think what
my wife's going to say.

She made this for the
Women's Club exhibit.

I'm sorry to barge in
on you like this, Doc.

I know how busy you must be.

- Well, that's OK, Oz.

I was just closing up anyway.

What do you got there?

- Will you pull that little
cart over here a minute, please?

- Sure.

- A terrible thing happened.

I was taking this down to
the Women's Club for Harriet.

See, this is the head she made
for the exhibit this afternoon.

And I dropped it when I
was riding on the bus,

and I smashed it all the pieces.

- Oh boy, that sure is a mess.

Let me move it over here where
we see it a little better.

- Yeah, I just don't
know what to do about it.

I can't take it down to the
Women's Club in that condition.

- Well, why don't you just
call up Harriet and tell her

what happened?
After all, it was an accident.

- Well, sure it was an
accident, but she'll

think I dropped it on purpose.

- Why would she think that?

- Well, because it
doesn't look like me.

You know, the, the
psychological overtones

that are involved here?

- What kind of
double-talk is that?

- Never mind that now, Doc.

Will you help me, please?

- Well, sure, Oz, I'll
do whatever it can.

- See, first of all, we've
got to get that ear back on.

- Say, I got an idea.

Miss Byron?

Would you ask Dr. Sanders
if he could step over

to my office for
a minute, please?

Thank you.

Where is the ear, Oz?

- Right here.

- That looks more like a nose.

- Oh, who is this Dr. Sanders
that's coming over here?

- Well, he's a specialist,
the finest ear man in town.

- You wanted to see me, Frank?

- Oh, hello, Jack.

Thanks for coming over.

Oz, this is Dr. Sanders.
- Well, how do you do, Doctor?

- This is Mr. Nelson,
a friend of mine.

He's having a
little ear trouble.

- Oh, which ear is it?

- No, it's right over here.

- It's off this head here.

Mrs. Nelson made it, and
Oz dropped it by accident.

And so he's got to put
it back together again.

- Well, this is a bit out
of my line, but let me see.

You see, the
formation of the ear

is functional as
well as artistic.

When you analyze it, it's really
one of nature's masterpieces.

- Oh yes.

Well, if you can just
get it together again as

quickly as possible,
I'd sure appreciate it.

- We'll need some help with
this nose, Oz, and the eyes,

and that jaw, too.

Jaw's a job for a dentist.

- Going to need a little
help with the hair here, too.

- Don't look at me, Oz.

- Well, thank you
very much, gentlemen.

I think I can take
it from there.

- I wouldn't worry about
the deviated septum.

It's quite common.

In fact, I have one myself.

- Oh, well, of
course, he won't have

to breathe through his nose.

Thank you very much, Doctor.
- It's all right, Mr. Nelson.

- Of course, if this
were an actual patient,

the formation of
the mouth here would

indicate a faulty occlusion.

But for your purpose, it's fine.

- Oh, thank you
very much, Doctor.

- That's all right.

- I think that is just
about right now, Mr. Nelson.

Of course, it could be
raised a little higher,

but that would
depend on whether he

had a haircut recently or not.

- It looks fine to me.

Thank you, Dr. Sanders.

- Goodbye, Mr. Nelson.

- Oh, and thank you very much,
Doctor, for your consultation.

- Oh, I'm not a doctor.

I was fixing the
plumbing next door

and I stopped in to see what
all the commotion was about.

- Well, thank you very much
for your friendly interest.

- It's a pleasure.

- Say, do you mind if I take
this into the outer office?

I want to do a little
more work on it myself?

- Why don't you just
take it in there?

- Oh, well, what's in there?

- The operating room.

[applause]

- First we have the excellent
work of Mrs. Williams, wife

of Dr. Williams.

Now, this is an interesting
psychological phenomenon.

Although she was
using me as a model,

she unconsciously
molded the features

of the man she most admires,
her husband, with hair.

Very good indeed, Mrs. Williams.

[applause]

And now we have the fine
work of Mrs. Wally Dipple.

You'll notice again how closely
it resembles her husband,

the man she most admires.

[applause]

Next we have the work of another
of our promising young ladies,

Mrs. Ozzie Nelson.

[applause]

- I, I was delayed.

I gave the head to
one of the assistants.

He's putting it up there now.

- Oh no, it's been up there
since the start of the program.

David brought it in.

- No, he's got the wrong one.

That's not the head you did.

- Well, sure it is.

That's what I've been
trying to tell you.

You took the wrong
head this morning.

[applause]

- Oh, Harriet, it
looks just like me.

Mr. La Scala was posing,
but it looks just like me.

- Naturally.

- Oh.

- Next, I've taken the liberty
to include a bust of myself,

which I used as an
illustration of what

we are seeking to achieve.

- Here it is, Mr. La Scala.
- Thank you.

- Oh, pardon me.

I was the one who
brought that head over,

and there was a little
accident on the way.

I fixed it up the best I could.

I'm terribly sorry.

What do you say if it
looks just like him?

Evidently, the man he
most admires is himself.

[applause]

- It looks just like you.

- Well, but I was
the one who made it.

Evidently, the one I
most admire is myself.

Isn't that something?

Well, Doc!

- Am I too late?

- Doc, what happened?

- Oh, I had to get this.

There's no sense having
a head made of yourself

if it doesn't look like you.

[applause]

[theme music]

- "Ozzie and Harriet"
are brought to you

by Kodak, makers of
new Verichrome Pan film

for the best black and white
snapshots that ever came out

of your camera.

This has been an ABC television
network film presentation.