All language subtitles for The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet S04E25 Harriets Secret Admirer 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP2 0 H 264-CRFW (1)_track4_[eng]

[music playing]

- The Norwich Pharmacal company,
famous for fine drug products,

makers of hospital-tested
Pepto-Bismol presents

America's favorite
family comedy,

"The Adventures of
Ozzie and Harriet,"

starring the entire
Nelson family.

Here is Ozzie,
who plays the part

of Ozzie Nelson; and, of course,
his lovely wife, Harriet,

as Harriet Nelson.

The older of the Nelson boys,
David, appears as David Nelson;

and his younger brother,
the irrepressible Ricky,

played by Ricky Nelson.

The Nelsons' next-door
neighbor, Thorny,

is played by Don DeFore.

- Oh, Ricky, that's ridiculous.

- Why is it ridiculous?

- Because it is.

- It's a real great picture--

"I Married a Monster
from Outer Space."

- Here, give me
more of this sheet.

- It's sort of a
science-fiction musical.

- A science-fiction musical?

That's a new one on me.

- One of the songs
in there is beginning

to be a real big hit--

"Disintegrate Me, Baby,
with your Cosmic Ray."

- What kind of a song is that?

- Well, it's sort
of a novelty song.

This one-man trio sings
it to a giant amoeba.

- Well, I dig the giant amoeba,
but what's a one-man trio?

- It's this monster from
outer space with three heads.

- Hey, what are you doing?

- I'm tucking in the sheets.

- Well, thanks very much.

I think I'd better
finish this myself.

- OK.

I'm getting kind
of tired, anyway.

- Hey, I just made that.

- I know, it's nice
and comfortable.

- Why can't you see the
picture tomorrow night?

- Well, tonight's the
last night it's playing.

Besides, what makes you think
Nancy wouldn't want to see it?

- Well, ordinarily,
she probably would,

but she's counting
on going to a dance.

If you'd wanted her
to go to a picture,

you shouldn't have asked
her to go to the dance.

- Maybe she'd like
to change her mind.

- Would you change
your mind if you'd

gone out and bought a
new dress and gotten

your hair done for a dance?

- No, I'd change my name.

- [SINGING] Disintegrate me,
baby, with your cosmic ray.

Uh, Harriet, there's a
wonderful picture playing down

at the Bijou.

- Yes, Ricky and I were
just discussing it.

- Oh, have you seen it, Rick?

- No, sir, but I
sure would like to.

- Why don't you go
down there tonight?

- Hey, I'm making that bed.

- Oh, well, gee, I'm sorry.

Oh, it's so nice
and comfortable.

Do you mind if I lie
here just a little while?

- You're going to see it, Pop?

- Well, I don't know, son.

That's up to your mother.

- I'd sure like to see it.

Tonight's the last night.

- Well, why don't
you go see it then?

- Well, Mom won't let me.
- Oh?

What's the matter, Harriet?

It's a swell picture.

It's got a wonderful
song in there.

[SINGING] Disintegrate
me, baby--

oh.

[chuckles] What are you doing?

- Well, Ricky knows
why he can't go.

- Oh?

What's the matter, Rick?

- I promised Nancy I'd take
her to a formal dance tonight.

I must have been out of my mind.

- Well, regardless,
you certainly

can't call it off now.

- Oh, I want to take her out.

I just want to go to
the movies instead.

- But you know you can't, Ricky.

She's counting on
going to the dance.

- Your mother's right.

You can't back out now.

- I don't know what
I was thinking of.

- Well, you'll probably have
a good time at the dance.

- Well, sure.

They may even play
"Disintegrate Me, Baby."

- Ricky, get off my bed.

- Why don't you just
Pop to get off mine?

- Tell him yourself.
It's your bed.

- I will not.

I respect my parents.

- Come on, will
you get up, please?

- OK, break it off, then I
won't have to go to the dance

tonight.

- That'd be a break
for some girl.

- Look, you're
going to the dance.

Where's your dark suit?

- This may surprise
you, Mom, but it's

hanging in there in the closet.

- Did you get your
girl a corsage?

- What for?

- Well, to wear.

Girls appreciate those
little things, you know?

- This looks like it
needs to be pressed.

- Why?

The dance isn't strictly formal.

- What do you think, Ozzie?

- Hmm?

- Ozzie?

- Oh, well, I don't know.

Everybody says it's
a real good picture.

- Thanks, dear.

I knew I could count on you.

Here, Rick, take this
down and have it pressed.

- Boy, these dances just
aren't worth all the trouble.

Will you see if my pink
socks are clean, Mom?

- They're downstairs.

Oh, hey, wait a minute.

You forgot the pants.

Ricky?

- How about you, Dave?

You going out tonight, too?

- No, I don't think so.

- Oh, haven't you got
a date with Susie?

- Uh, no, sir, not tonight.

- Well, how come?

- Well, she's beginning to
be kind of a pain in the neck

lately.
- In what way?

- Well, she likes
to go out with me

and then make a fuss
over somebody else.

She thinks she's the belle
of the ball or something.

- Gee, she always seemed like
a nice little girl to me.

- She's all right, I guess.

It's just that
she's always playing

one guy against the other.

- Well, you know what to
do in a case like that,

don't you, Dave?
- Well, yeah.

Last time, I really
told her off.

- Oh, no, no,
never do that, son.

Now, I don't want to sound
like an authority on women,

but you were playing
right into her hands.

- In what way?

- By letting her know
you were mad at her.

See, all women love
to get a guy jealous.

But if you let a girl
know you are jealous,

boy, you're really sunk.

- What am I supposed to do?

- Well, just act indifferent.

If you'll pardon an
old-fashioned expression,

play it cool.

- Thanks, Pop.

I think I'll try it.

- Any time at all, Dave.

- [SINGING] Disintegrate me,
baby, with your cosmic ray.

- [chuckles] Harriet, did you
see this letter that came from

the photographic studio?

- Yes, I read it a
couple of days ago.

- Boy, what a corny gimmick.

- What do you mean?

- Oh, I guess you
don't remember it.

Listen to this.

"Dear Mrs. Nelson, somebody
wants your picture.

If you will call our
studio for an appointment,

we'll be pleased to make a
fine 8x10 portrait of you.

Naturally, there
will be no charge.

Signed, Bensfield
Photo Studios."

[chuckles] How about that?

- Yeah, I said I read
it a couple of days ago.

What's so funny?

- Well, it's just a
ridiculous come on.

Somebody wants your picture?

[chuckles]

- Well, what's so funny?

Don't you think anybody
would want my picture?

- Well, sure.

I'm just laughing at the lengths
they'll go to drum up business.

That's all.

- You'd want it, wouldn't you?

- Well, of course
I would, but that

has nothing to do with the ad.

And I'm just trying
to point out--

Well, don't you see what I mean?

- Well, I'm not sure I do.

Why don't you want my picture?

- I want your picture.

I'd love to have a
new picture of you.

- Oh, you're just saying
that to be polite.

- No, for goodness
sakes, I'm not polite.

Well, I-- I-- I--

you're making a big
deal out of nothing.

I just happened to
mention that this

is a corny gimmick, that's all.

You don't understand
what I'm talking about?

- No.

- In the first place, you'd
have to be out of your mind

to fall for a thing like this.

- I fell for it.

- Well--

- I went down and had some
photos made last Thursday.

One for each of the boys,
one for my mother, and you

don't get any.

- But I'm the--

Now, Harriet, that's not fair.

I'd love to have
a picture of you.

- Well, we'll see.

I'm going to pick up the
prints this afternoon.

- Oh, they'll probably
turn out beautifully.

What do I know about--

I--

- I don't think I've
changed so much.

- Hi, Oz.

- Oh, hiya, Thorny?

- What's new?

- Oh, nothing much.

- Beat ya.

- I guess this
just isn't my day.

- Why?

What's the matter?

- Oh, I don't know.

Tell me this, does
Catherine ever

misinterpret anything you say?

- Well, not more than
two or three times a day.

Why?

- Well, Harriet and I just had
the silliest misunderstanding

over absolutely nothing at all.

This letter came in
the mail for her--

a ridiculous, corny gimmick
from a photo studio.

- You mean the one to start
"somebody wants your picture"?

- Yeah, yeah, that's the one.
- We got one just like it.

It's just an ad.

- Well, sure.

So, uh, and I started
pointing out to Harriet

how silly it was, and before
I realized what was happening,

she had the whole
conversation twisted around

to where she claimed I
didn't want her picture.

- Well, that figures.

You should have
known better than

to step on something with
a little romance in it.

- What's romance
got to do with it?

- Oh, come now, Oz.

Can't you see how the line
"somebody wants your picture"

would appeal to a woman?

Now, look, Harriet
gets the letter.

Of course, she knows it's an
ad, but she pretends it isn't.

In her mind, she's thinking,
somebody wants my picture.

Someone is admiring
me from afar.

Some mysterious stranger
is standing in the shadows,

some knight in shining armor.

And then you have to come along
and pop the bubble, you dog.

- For goodness sakes,
Thorny, it's just an ad.

- Oz, that's your trouble.

You're too matter of fact.

You should have handled the
letter a little more subtly,

like I did.

- What did you do?

- I threw it in the wastebasket
before Catherine could see it.

- Oh, hiya, Pop.

Hi, Mr. Thornberry.
- Oh, hello, Rick.

- Hi, Rick.

- I was wondering if I could
order a corsage for tonight.

- Oh, yeah, sure.

I think it's a good idea.

- I figured I might
as well go all out

as long as I'm stuck anyway.

- [chuckles] OK, son,
I tell you what you do.

Go down to the florist and
order it and charge it to me.

- OK, thanks, Pop.

Boy, I sure hope Nancy
appreciates all this money

I'm spending on her.

- It sounds like Rick takes
his women pretty casually.

- Yeah, I wish a little of
it would rub off on Dave.

- What do you mean?

- Well, I'm afraid Dave lets
his girl make him jealous.

- What's the matter with that?

Women like their man to
show a little jealousy.

- Oh, are you kidding, Thorny?

Once a girl knows you're
jealous, you're really dead.

- Boy, I can see why you're
in the doghouse with Harriet.

You don't know the
first thing about women.

- You do, I suppose.

- Just trying to be helpful, Oz.

Some men know how to
handle women and some

don't, and you're
a definite don't.

- I hate to interrupt this
sparkling conversation,

but I have more
important things to do.

I'll be seeing you.

- If you need anymore advice on
women, just call an old Thorny.

- I hear you talking.

- Catherine?

Catherine, can I
come in now, dear?

[bell rings]

- Yeah?

Oh, excuse me.

I was in the dark room.

- I'm Mrs. Nelson.

You asked me to stop by this
afternoon for my pictures.

- Yes, of course.

I have them right here.

And they turned out beautifully.

- Oh, yes, that's very nice.

- Oh, thank you.

Frankly, we don't
get too many women

who are satisfied
with their pictures.

- Oh, well, I'm very
happy with mine.

Oh, just a minute.

There are only three here.

- Well, you only ordered three.

- Well, wasn't I supposed
to get one for free?

- Oh, certainly, but we've
already sent that one out.

- Sent it out?

To who?

- To the person
who asked for it.

It stated very
clearly in our letter

that somebody
wanted your picture.

- You mean somebody
actually wanted it?

- Of course.

I thought you understood that.

- Well, no, not exactly.

Who was it?

- Oh, I'm sorry, but I'm
afraid I can't tell you that.

- Well, after all,
it was my picture.

- Yes, I know,
but well, you see,

we have our professional
ethics to consider.

And when one of our
customers says, "don't you

dare tell now," we
just don't dare tell.

- Was it a man?

- No fair pumping.

- What did he look like?

- Mm-mm.

- Wait till Ozzie
hears about this.

[music playing]

How about that?

- How about what?

- Well, that picture, can you
imagine a thing like that?

- Oh, yeah.

- I wonder who my
secret admirer is.

- Gee, I'm sure I don't know.

- I wonder if it could
be Charlie Adams.

- No, I don't think
it's Charlie Adams.

- Why not?

- Well, yeah, maybe
it was Charlie Adams.

- No, I don't think
it was Charlie Adam.

- No, I guess not.

- Ozzie, doesn't it bother you?

- Of course not.

Why should it bother me?

- Well, somebody has my picture.

- Well, it just shows whoever
it is has pretty good taste.

- Aren't you a
little bit jealous?

- Well, no, you're
very attractive, dear.

I don't blame anybody
for wanting your picture.

I think it's very flattering.

- Aren't you upset by it?

- Well, of course not.

Why should I be?

If some woman wanted my picture,
would you be upset about it?

- What woman?

- I don't know what woman.

It's just a
hypothetical question.

- Well, give me a
hypothetical answer.

What woman?

- I tell you, I don't know.

I'm just trying to draw
a parallel, that's all.

- Well, I certainly
would be upset about it.

Aren't you even a
little bit jealous?

- Well, of course not.

A happy marriage is based on
mutual confidence and trust.

I trust you.

Don't you trust me?

- Well, of course I do.

What woman?

- Harriet, it's your
picture they want, not mine.

- And you are jealous.

- No, of course I'm not.

- Well, that's a pretty
strange attitude if you ask me.

- Well, I don't see
what's strange about it.

- Well, most husbands
would be absolutely furious

if they knew some other man
had their wife's picture.

- Well, OK, if it makes you
happier, I'll be furious.

Who am I supposed
to be furious at?

- The man who has my picture.

- All right, I'm mad at the
man that has your picture.

What are we having for dinner?

- Well, I haven't decided.

But if your coffee
tastes strange,

maybe you'd better not drink it.

- Look, Harriet,
don't be mad at me

just because I'm not jealous
of your secret admirer.

- Well, that's just it.

You used to be.

Why aren't you jealous?

- Well, maybe I'm
getting a little smarter.

They say as you grow
older, you get smarter.

And we're growing older...

That is, I mean, not that
you look any older, dear.

- Oh, hiya, Pop.

Boy, I got to hand
it to you, you sure

know a lot about women.

- Oh, well, thanks a lot, Dave.

- What's this?

- Oh, hi, Mom.

I didn't even see you.

- What's this about your father?

- He gave me some good advice.

- Oh.

- Don't go away mad, now.

- No, I'll be right back.

I'm just going to get the
arsenic for your coffee.

- Mom's a great
kidder, isn't she, Pop?

- Yeah, we hope so.

- Well, I started to tell
you, I took your advice

and it really worked.
- Oh?

Then you're going to
the dance after all?

- Dance?

No, Pop, that's Ricky.

- Oh!

Sorry.

I'm a little
confused today, son.

- Don't you remember?

You told me not to
show any jealousy.

- Oh, yeah, did that
really work, Dave?

- You mean it doesn't always?

- Well, uh, yes,
usually, but this

has been such a
confusing day all around.

But it worked out
OK for you, huh?

- Yes, sir.

I just acted very
nonchalant, you know,

played it cool like you said,
and it worked like a charm.

- Oh, that's good.

That's the way to do.

Never show any arsenic--

uh, jealousy.

Always keep them guessing.
[doorbell rings]

- Oh, there's somebody
at the door, Pop.

- Oh, I'll get it.

- Looks like a delivery man.

- Nelson residence?
- Yes.

- Here you are, sir.

- Oh, thank you.

- Who the flowers for, Pop?

- I don't know.

Oh, uh, maybe this
is the corsage Ricky

ordered for the dance tonight.

- Gee, it's kind of
big for a corsage.

- Oh, no, they have--

- It's more like cut flowers.

- Yeah.

[chuckles] Imagine that crazy
Ricky ordering cut flowers.

- Hey, they're for Mom.

- They can't be.

I didn't order any
flowers for your mother.

There's no card here.

The florist must
have made a mistake.

- They don't usually
make mistakes, do they?

- Well, uh, they must have.

I didn't order any
flowers for your mother.

- Do you want me to
take them to her?

- No, that's all right, Dave.

I'll take them to her.

- Well, thanks a lot
for the advice, Pop.

- Oh.

- Who are the flowers for?

- Oh, well, they're
for you, apparently.

- Oh, well, thank you, dear.

You didn't have to
send me flowers.

I wasn't really mad at you.

- Oh, no.

- No, I mean it.

You were absolutely right.

- Well, no, uh, Harriet--

- I'm very proud of you
for not being jealous

about the silly, old picture.

- Uh, Harriet--

- Oh, aren't they beautiful?

Red roses, my favorite.

- Uh, Harriet--

- Oh, thank you, dear.

Did you put a card in here?

- Harriet, if you'll listen
to me for a minute, please.

I didn't send you these flowers.

- You didn't?

- No, I didn't.

- Well, then who did?

- I'm sure I don't know.

- Well, don't get mad because
somebody sent me flowers.

- What do you mean
"don't get mad"?

You wouldn't get mad if some
strange woman sent flowers

to me?

- That's ridiculous.

- Oh, it was ridiculous, huh?

A lot of women prefer older men.

- What do you mean older men?

You're not so old.

- You're darn right I'm not.

I'm not going to stand by and
have some man insult my wife.

- Well, I don't think it's
insulting to send me flowers.

I think it's very nice.

- Well, I don't
think it's very nice.

I think it's a lot of
nerve, that's what I think.

- At least it's nice
to know you're jealous.

- Who's jealous?

- You are, and I'm glad.

You had me worried.

- Whoever heard of sending
flowers without a card?

What kind of a
coward is he anyway?

- I'll go put these in water.

[music playing]

- Oh, can I help you, sir?

- Yes, I'd like to speak
to you about an order.

- Well, we have just about
everything you could want here.

Now, would you like a
plant or some cut flowers?

- No, no, I'm sorry.

I didn't want to place an order.

I wanted to ask you
about some flowers that

arrived at our house
about an hour ago,

two dozen red roses
with long stems.

- What was the name, please?

- Mr. Nelson.

- I don't seem to remember
anything like that.

- Well, uh, that's
what I figured.

It was probably a mistake.

- Of course, I was out of
the shop for a while, but--

No, there's nothing
here for a Mr. Nelson.

- There's a note
card or anything.

- There's an order here for two
dozen roses for a Mrs. Nelson.

Could that be what you
have referenced to?

- Uh, yes.

Who sent those, please?

- Well, it doesn't say here.

Are you sure you don't know?

- I don't.

That the reason I
came in, to find out.

- You say you're Mr. Nelson?

- Uh, yes, I am.

- And somebody sent
your wife flowers?

- Uh, two dozen red roses.

- And you don't know who it is?

- No, I don't.

- [giggles]

- What's that supposed to be?

- Don't you think it's exciting?

Your wife has a secret
admirer, and you don't even

know who it is.

- Well, that's the
reason I came in here.

I want to find out who sent
these roses to my wife!

- Wouldn't she tell you?

- No, she doesn't know.

- Is that what she said?

- Well, uh, no.

Well, I didn't ask her,
but I'm sure if she knew,

she'd tell me.

- Oh, maybe she would
and maybe she wouldn't.

- Look, uh, we're
wasting our time here.

May I speak to a
man clerk, please?

- We don't have a man here,
just my husband and myself.

- Well then, may I speak to--

- He isn't here now.

And furthermore, he
wouldn't tell either.

- Well, maybe I'd better
tell you the whole story.

See, this letter arrived
at our house for my wife,

and I happened to read it.

- And it was addressed to her?

- Well, yes, of course.

- Mr. Nelson, my husband and I
have been married for 30 years,

and we have never opened
each other's mail.

- Oh, that had
nothing to do with it.

- A happy marriage is based
on trust and confidence.

You've got to trust your wife,
and she's got to trust you.

- Well, I'm sure she does.

- Oh, do you think she would if
she knew you opened her mail?

- No, no, you don't understand.

I didn't open her mail.

See, this letter
arrived at the house

and it was addressed
to her, and it said,

"Somebody wants your picture."

- Well, then, obviously,
it's the same person

who sent her the flowers.

- No, no, no, no,
it wasn't the same.

- I'll bet it was.

- Well, if you're so sure,
then who sent her the flowers?

- Ooh, wouldn't
you like to know?

[music playing]

- Hello, dear.

- Hi.

- Aren't they pretty?

- Kind of wilted to me.

- Well, so do you.

Where have you been?

- Oh, just downtown for a while.

- Oh, that's nice.

Did you meet anybody?

- What's the matter, Harriet?

Are you jealous?

- Well, of course not.

- Well, then how come
you're pumping me

with all these questions?

- Well, I was just trying
to make conversation.

- After all, a happy
marriage is based

on mutual confidence and trust.

I never open your mail.

- Who says you did?

- After you've been
married for 30 years.

- Who's been married 30 years?

- Well, the florist
and her husband.

- What were you doing
down at the florist?

- Well--

- It couldn't be you were
trying to find out who

sent me the flowers, could it?

- Why couldn't it?

- Because you're never jealous.

- Who says I'm not?

Strange man starts sending
flowers to my wife.

I don't even know who it is.

- Well, you weren't jealous
when a secret admirer

came and picked up my picture
from the photographers.

- Well, that was different.

- What's different about it?

- I was the one who
picked up your picture.

- You were?

Well, why didn't you tell me?

- Well, what difference
would it have made?

- Well, for one
thing, I wouldn't

have gone to all of the trouble
to send myself those roses.

- You sent these
roses to yourself?

- Yes, I did.

Seemed to be the only
way to make you jealous.

- [chuckles]

- You did get
jealous, didn't you?

- Well, no, no, I
didn't get jealous.

I got a little curious, perhaps.

- All right, we'll
let it go at curious.

Come on, dinner's about ready.

- I'll be right there.

Hello?

Uh, Beauregard Hamilton Burr?

Uh, this is Mr. Nelson.

I'd like to cancel that order
for the dueling pistols.

[music playing]

How about this?

Just listen to this.

- Don't tell me
we've got something

in the mail besides bills.

- Just listen.

"Somebody has been
watching you dance.

As part of our program
to encourage interest

in the sultry
rhythms of the Mambo,

we have had our
professionally-trained experts

observing the dancers at
various social functions

throughout the city.

We are happy to inform you
that you have been selected

as one of those who possess
the necessary talents to make

an outstanding Mambo dancer.

Just bring this letter to
any one of our dance studios

and you will be given,
absolutely free of charge,

five lessons in the Mambo.

Congratulations and we
hope to see you soon,

Alvarez and Think
Dance Studios."

- How about that?

I wonder where
they saw me dance.

At the charity ball at the
tennis club, do you think?

- Uh, what makes you think
the letter's addressed to you?

- Well, don't tell me
it was sent to you.

- See for yourself.

Dear, Mr. Nelson.

- Well, how about that?

- Hiya, Mom, Pop.
- Oh, hi, Rick.

- Oh, hi, Rick.

- Boy, I sure am glad I went
to the dance last night.

They had a contest, and
Nancy and I won first prize.

- Oh, well, good for you!

- Wait a minute.

Let's see that envelope.

Just as I thought.

Here's a letter for
you, Mr. Ricky Nelson.

[ending theme]

[music playing]

- [SINGING] Every day's
a holiday with Hotpoint.

- I'm Happy Hotpoint,
here to remind you

that next week,
your Hotpoint dealer

will bring you the Nelsons--

Ozzie, Harriet,
David, and Ricky.

- You ought to see the
Hotpoint all-electric kitchens.

- Yeah, and laundries,
too, in color.

- Your Hotpoint dealer will
be glad to show them to you.

- Believe me, every day's
a holiday with Hotpoint.

[ending theme]

- Tonight's "Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet"

has been brought to you by
the Norwich Pharmacal company,

famous for fine drug products,
makers of hospital-tested

Pepto-Bismol, America's leading
remedy for the relief of upset

stomach.

Grady Sutton was seen as the
photographer, Elvia Allman

as the florist,
and Chuck Colleen

played the part of
the deliveryman.

This is Verne Smith speaking.

- Is your name in the book?

Here's where free speech
begins, where schools

are built, where national
defense and foreign policy get

their start, where
presidents are made.

Get in the book of Registered
Voters for your community.

Register and vote.

- This has been an
ABC Television Network

presentation.