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1
00:01:20,334 --> 00:01:21,534
Hey, guys.
2
00:01:21,567 --> 00:01:23,868
You're never gonna believe
who I just had as a fare.
3
00:01:23,901 --> 00:01:25,934
Who? Neil Armstrong.
4
00:01:25,968 --> 00:01:28,534
Oh, yeah? Neil Armstrong!
5
00:01:28,567 --> 00:01:30,734
Imagine, the first guy who
ever walked on the moon
6
00:01:30,767 --> 00:01:31,901
sitting in my cab.
7
00:01:31,934 --> 00:01:32,901
Wow! I'm really impressed.
8
00:01:32,934 --> 00:01:33,944
Hey, that's a great fare, Tony.
9
00:01:33,968 --> 00:01:35,534
Where did you take him?
10
00:01:35,567 --> 00:01:37,367
The unemployment office.
11
00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:39,200
Yeah, you know, they cut back
12
00:01:39,234 --> 00:01:40,567
on the space program.
13
00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:42,567
He's a little down on his luck.
14
00:01:42,601 --> 00:01:45,234
It turns out he couldn't
even pay the fare.
15
00:01:45,267 --> 00:01:46,701
Hey, which was lucky for me,
16
00:01:46,734 --> 00:01:49,767
'cause he gave me something
even more valuable than money.
17
00:01:50,801 --> 00:01:52,434
A rock?
18
00:01:52,467 --> 00:01:53,801
This ain't no rock.
19
00:01:53,834 --> 00:01:55,734
This is a piece of the moon.
20
00:01:55,767 --> 00:01:57,767
He had a whole bag of them.
21
00:02:00,701 --> 00:02:02,267
What's the matter?
22
00:02:02,300 --> 00:02:03,601
We're jealous.
23
00:02:03,634 --> 00:02:06,033
Uh, Tony,
di-did it ever occur to you
24
00:02:06,067 --> 00:02:08,367
that this guy that said
he was Neil Armstrong
25
00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:10,367
might have been a phony?
26
00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:12,133
Oh, Bobby, if he was a phony,
27
00:02:12,167 --> 00:02:15,300
where did he get a
piece of the moon?
28
00:02:15,334 --> 00:02:17,100
Yeah, where'd he get
a piece of the moon?
29
00:02:17,133 --> 00:02:20,067
Okay, listen up, everybody.
30
00:02:21,067 --> 00:02:23,734
I just come down from
McKenzie's office,
31
00:02:23,767 --> 00:02:27,801
and he had my butt
for breakfast.
32
00:02:27,834 --> 00:02:30,567
It seems somebody sacked out
33
00:02:30,601 --> 00:02:33,067
in his office last night.
34
00:02:33,100 --> 00:02:34,868
I mean,
if it was one of you guys,
35
00:02:34,901 --> 00:02:37,300
I want you to just come
right out and say so.
36
00:02:37,334 --> 00:02:38,801
Now, trust me on this.
37
00:02:38,834 --> 00:02:40,601
I'm not going to fire you.
38
00:02:40,634 --> 00:02:43,100
I'm not going to make
a big deal about this.
39
00:02:43,133 --> 00:02:45,067
I just want to
briefly torture you
40
00:02:45,100 --> 00:02:47,334
with a soldering iron.
41
00:02:47,367 --> 00:02:48,567
Don't trust him.
42
00:02:48,601 --> 00:02:49,734
I think it's a trick.
43
00:02:49,767 --> 00:02:51,067
Now, come on, I got to know
44
00:02:51,100 --> 00:02:53,234
who slept in the
garage last night.
45
00:02:53,267 --> 00:02:55,267
If any of you have any idea
46
00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:58,067
who it might have
been, just say so.
47
00:03:07,701 --> 00:03:09,334
Latka!
48
00:03:10,701 --> 00:03:11,834
Latka!
49
00:03:11,868 --> 00:03:13,234
Is occupied.
50
00:03:13,267 --> 00:03:15,601
"It's occupied"? Get out here!
51
00:03:18,267 --> 00:03:19,634
Get out here!
52
00:03:21,601 --> 00:03:24,167
What the hell do you
think you're doing?
53
00:03:25,567 --> 00:03:29,501
Get that thing
out of your mouth!
54
00:03:29,534 --> 00:03:31,000
Now, what's the big idea?
55
00:03:33,567 --> 00:03:35,534
You got toothpaste in your mouth?
Swallow it!
56
00:03:35,567 --> 00:03:37,234
Uh-uh!
57
00:03:37,267 --> 00:03:39,033
I said swallow it.
58
00:03:43,968 --> 00:03:47,300
Mmm! Not bad.
59
00:03:47,334 --> 00:03:49,634
All right... now, last night
60
00:03:49,667 --> 00:03:53,634
the cleaning lady went
into Mr. McKenzie's office
61
00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:57,634
and she found a strange
man sleeping on the sofa.
62
00:03:57,667 --> 00:04:01,267
How did she know I was strange?
63
00:04:01,300 --> 00:04:03,968
You got me in big trouble
with the boss, latka,
64
00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:05,868
and I'm not gonna
stand for this.
65
00:04:05,901 --> 00:04:07,133
Now take it easy, Louie.
66
00:04:07,167 --> 00:04:09,200
There's got to be
an explanation.
67
00:04:09,234 --> 00:04:10,968
Latka, why were you sleeping
68
00:04:11,033 --> 00:04:12,310
in the boss's office last night?
69
00:04:12,334 --> 00:04:15,100
'Cause I live here now.
70
00:04:15,133 --> 00:04:16,701
I'm satisfied.
71
00:04:18,100 --> 00:04:21,367
Look, I'm going to
tell you this once.
72
00:04:21,400 --> 00:04:23,701
You cannot live in this garage.
73
00:04:23,734 --> 00:04:26,534
You can work here,
you can sweat here,
74
00:04:26,567 --> 00:04:30,234
you can even die here,
but you cannot live here.
75
00:04:30,267 --> 00:04:31,968
Now, get all of this stuff,
76
00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:34,434
and get out of here
before I kill you.
77
00:04:34,467 --> 00:04:35,634
Louie...
78
00:04:35,667 --> 00:04:38,100
Why don't you take a
nice, deep breath
79
00:04:38,133 --> 00:04:39,534
and never let it out?
80
00:04:39,567 --> 00:04:42,033
Come sit over here, latka.
81
00:04:42,067 --> 00:04:43,567
Come on, sit down here.
82
00:04:43,601 --> 00:04:47,000
Now, latka,
what happened to your apartment, huh?
83
00:04:47,033 --> 00:04:48,834
Well, they-they tore
the building down.
84
00:04:48,868 --> 00:04:50,501
Tore the building down? Why?
85
00:04:50,534 --> 00:04:53,067
Because it would not burn. Oh.
86
00:04:53,100 --> 00:04:55,000
Well, latka, if you were living
87
00:04:55,033 --> 00:04:56,501
in such a crummy place,
88
00:04:56,534 --> 00:04:58,601
why didn't you
come to one of us?
89
00:04:58,634 --> 00:05:00,334
I not want to bother you.
90
00:05:00,367 --> 00:05:02,667
Then you should have
gone to your ambassador
91
00:05:02,701 --> 00:05:04,167
and have him help
you find a place.
92
00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:08,033
But ambassador was my roommate.
93
00:05:15,167 --> 00:05:16,834
Hey, Alex, what do you say, al?
94
00:05:16,868 --> 00:05:19,200
Hey, did you find
latka a place yet?
95
00:05:19,234 --> 00:05:20,200
No, not even close.
96
00:05:20,234 --> 00:05:21,801
There's not much
in his price range.
97
00:05:21,834 --> 00:05:23,334
Aw, you didn't find anything?
98
00:05:23,367 --> 00:05:26,400
Well, we had one offer
that latka almost took...
99
00:05:26,434 --> 00:05:27,868
One room for one night
100
00:05:27,901 --> 00:05:30,934
including roommate and
complimentary cocktail.
101
00:05:30,968 --> 00:05:33,868
You better find him something
quick, rieger,
102
00:05:33,901 --> 00:05:36,667
'cause I already sent
his things on ahead.
103
00:05:36,701 --> 00:05:37,501
On ahead where?
104
00:05:37,534 --> 00:05:39,801
On ahead out in the street.
105
00:05:39,834 --> 00:05:41,234
What?
106
00:05:44,968 --> 00:05:50,534
Louie,
I want to report an outrage.
107
00:05:50,567 --> 00:05:53,534
You let some terrible
person come in here
108
00:05:53,567 --> 00:05:56,200
and right under your face
109
00:05:56,234 --> 00:05:59,067
you let him take all my
stuff, put it on the street.
110
00:05:59,100 --> 00:06:00,834
I did no such thing, latka.
111
00:06:00,868 --> 00:06:02,100
I resent that.
112
00:06:02,133 --> 00:06:05,100
I'll have you know I threw
that stuff out myself.
113
00:06:05,133 --> 00:06:07,167
Oh, oh, I'm sorry.
114
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,677
Hey, Louie,
why don't you lay off, huh?
115
00:06:08,701 --> 00:06:10,167
Latka's got no place else to go.
116
00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:11,334
No, no, is okay.
117
00:06:11,367 --> 00:06:12,510
I found apartment today. Yeah?
118
00:06:12,534 --> 00:06:14,901
You took one of those
places we saw yesterday?
119
00:06:14,934 --> 00:06:16,701
Eh, no, no.
120
00:06:16,734 --> 00:06:19,167
This morning I went for a walk,
121
00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:23,000
and I saw the sign say,
it say, uh, "for rent."
122
00:06:23,033 --> 00:06:25,968
So I looked,
and I like what I see.
123
00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:28,701
Hey, latka, that's great.
You did it yourself. Man.
124
00:06:28,734 --> 00:06:30,534
Yeah, that's terrific.
Fantastic.
125
00:06:30,567 --> 00:06:33,868
Yeah, but the manager say
one thing I don't understand.
126
00:06:33,901 --> 00:06:37,968
He want to put me on a leash.
127
00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:39,167
"Lease."
128
00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:41,200
Lease, latka, lease.
129
00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:42,534
Oh... Yeah.
130
00:06:42,567 --> 00:06:44,834
You know, Alex,
I think you better go talk to this guy.
131
00:06:44,868 --> 00:06:46,601
I mean, you know,
some tenement landlords,
132
00:06:46,634 --> 00:06:47,834
they take advantage of people.
133
00:06:47,868 --> 00:06:48,968
Yeah, I think you're right.
134
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:51,033
Latka, maybe you'd better
show me that apartment.
135
00:06:51,067 --> 00:06:52,901
Okay.
Okay, but what time-what time
136
00:06:52,934 --> 00:06:54,367
does the bus outside leave?
137
00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:56,567
We don't need a bus,
we're gonna drive.
138
00:06:56,601 --> 00:06:58,734
I know,
but it's parked on my sport coat.
139
00:06:58,767 --> 00:07:00,033
Oh.
140
00:07:18,234 --> 00:07:20,734
Not bad, hey?
141
00:07:21,767 --> 00:07:23,167
Latka.
142
00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:24,601
Yes?
143
00:07:24,634 --> 00:07:26,467
Latka.
144
00:07:26,501 --> 00:07:29,634
You don't like it?
145
00:07:29,667 --> 00:07:30,734
Latka!
146
00:07:30,767 --> 00:07:33,934
Why do you keep saying
my name over and over?
147
00:07:33,968 --> 00:07:35,667
Latka!
148
00:07:35,701 --> 00:07:37,767
Oh, man, give me a break.
149
00:07:37,801 --> 00:07:39,067
Latka!
150
00:07:39,100 --> 00:07:41,567
Latka,
this is a terrible mistake.
151
00:07:41,601 --> 00:07:44,200
How much is this
place costing you?
152
00:07:44,234 --> 00:07:45,267
3,000 a month.
153
00:07:45,300 --> 00:07:46,467
$3,000?
154
00:07:46,501 --> 00:07:49,067
It's all right,
I have money in savings.
155
00:07:49,100 --> 00:07:50,200
How much?
156
00:07:50,234 --> 00:07:51,367
$3,000.
157
00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:53,934
No, latka.
When they say 3,000 a month
158
00:07:53,968 --> 00:07:55,868
they mean 3,000 every month.
159
00:07:55,901 --> 00:07:58,634
Oh, what am I going
to do next month?
160
00:07:58,667 --> 00:08:00,734
I was going to ask you that.
161
00:08:00,767 --> 00:08:04,300
I better start saving again.
162
00:08:07,334 --> 00:08:08,534
Can you believe
163
00:08:08,567 --> 00:08:11,834
people actually live
like this all the time?
164
00:08:11,868 --> 00:08:14,067
The closest we'll ever
get to a world like this
165
00:08:14,100 --> 00:08:15,376
is the curb outside
the building.
166
00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:16,934
Not true, Alex.
167
00:08:16,968 --> 00:08:19,067
You can come and
visit here anytime.
168
00:08:19,100 --> 00:08:21,734
You can even live here with
me, if you like.
169
00:08:21,767 --> 00:08:23,167
Well, hello, Mr. Gravas.
170
00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:24,267
Oh, hello.
171
00:08:24,300 --> 00:08:26,133
See? It comes with a maid.
172
00:08:26,167 --> 00:08:27,133
Oh, yeah.
173
00:08:27,167 --> 00:08:28,844
I thought you weren't
moving in till tomorrow.
174
00:08:28,868 --> 00:08:32,000
Mm, yeah, but I am showing
my friend to the apartment.
175
00:08:32,033 --> 00:08:33,868
Oh, well, I'm here to serve you.
Oh, good.
176
00:08:33,901 --> 00:08:35,434
Is there anything
I can do for you?
177
00:08:35,467 --> 00:08:36,767
Yes, Nik-Nik.
178
00:08:36,801 --> 00:08:39,033
No, no!
179
00:08:39,067 --> 00:08:40,868
Thank you very much.
180
00:08:40,901 --> 00:08:42,534
Latka, latka...
181
00:08:42,567 --> 00:08:44,510
Latka, you're really in over your
head, you know that?
182
00:08:44,534 --> 00:08:46,501
You're in over everybody's head.
183
00:08:46,534 --> 00:08:47,968
These apartments are built
184
00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:49,801
for people like
the rockefellers,
185
00:08:49,834 --> 00:08:51,534
the vanderbilts, the Bee Gees.
186
00:08:51,567 --> 00:08:53,367
But Alex, I want it.
187
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:55,100
Latka,
you're throwing your money away.
188
00:08:55,133 --> 00:08:57,734
I got to get you out of this.
I really got to get you out.
189
00:09:03,033 --> 00:09:06,434
Hello, can I speak to
Mr., uh, Martin, please?
190
00:09:07,501 --> 00:09:10,534
Good-bye, couch.
191
00:09:10,567 --> 00:09:12,534
Good-bye, carpet.
192
00:09:12,567 --> 00:09:16,067
Good-bye,
lush contemporary decor.
193
00:09:19,033 --> 00:09:22,033
Latka, I'm sorry,
but we just can't... hello.
194
00:09:22,067 --> 00:09:23,343
Uh, yes,
can I speak to Mr. Martin?
195
00:09:23,367 --> 00:09:24,334
Mr. Martin?
196
00:09:24,367 --> 00:09:25,601
Oh, yes, I'll hold on.
197
00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:08,767
♪
198
00:10:10,801 --> 00:10:12,734
Uh, yes, hello, Mr. Martin?
199
00:10:12,767 --> 00:10:14,367
Uh, my name is Alex rieger.
200
00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:16,267
I'm calling you about
the penthouse apartment
201
00:10:16,300 --> 00:10:17,701
you rented to a
Mr. Latka gravas.
202
00:10:17,734 --> 00:10:20,234
Well, I just wanted to say
that, uh, we-we'll take it.
203
00:10:20,267 --> 00:10:21,767
Yes, and thank you very much.
204
00:10:27,834 --> 00:10:31,067
♪ Hey, hey, hey, ze-be-de-ba
205
00:10:31,100 --> 00:10:33,734
♪ ah, hey, hey, hey
206
00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:36,234
♪ ze-be-de-ba, ze-be-de-ba ♪
207
00:10:36,267 --> 00:10:37,834
♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey
208
00:10:37,868 --> 00:10:40,067
♪ ze-be-de-ba, ze-be-de-ba... ♪
209
00:10:40,100 --> 00:10:42,167
Excuse me, Mr. Gravas?
210
00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:43,234
Oh...
211
00:10:43,267 --> 00:10:44,734
I'm sorry to bother you.
212
00:10:44,767 --> 00:10:47,400
Oh, it's all right,
it's just the news. Oh.
213
00:10:47,434 --> 00:10:49,167
So, are you ready for Nik-Nik?
214
00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:50,267
No. No Nik-Nik.
215
00:10:50,300 --> 00:10:52,567
Is there anything
else I can get you?
216
00:10:52,601 --> 00:10:54,067
Eh, no, thank you. Okay.
217
00:10:54,100 --> 00:10:55,944
Mr. Rieger,
is there anything I can get for you?
218
00:10:55,968 --> 00:10:58,267
Uh, yes,
my swizzle stick is a little limp.
219
00:10:58,300 --> 00:11:00,934
Oh, very well, sir.
220
00:11:06,634 --> 00:11:07,901
Mr. Tony banta.
221
00:11:07,934 --> 00:11:10,701
You know...
222
00:11:10,734 --> 00:11:13,200
But does she have to do that
every time you leave, come back?
223
00:11:13,234 --> 00:11:14,667
Every time?
224
00:11:14,701 --> 00:11:17,000
Well, if it embarrasses
you, do what I do.
225
00:11:17,033 --> 00:11:18,200
What is it?
226
00:11:18,234 --> 00:11:19,367
Don't leave.
227
00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:21,601
Hi, Tony!
228
00:11:21,634 --> 00:11:22,868
Hey, latka.
229
00:11:22,901 --> 00:11:24,741
Is there anything I can get for
you, Mr. Banta?
230
00:11:24,767 --> 00:11:26,400
Oh, no.
You know, I hate to be waited on.
231
00:11:26,434 --> 00:11:28,067
All right.
232
00:11:28,100 --> 00:11:29,901
Hey, yo, but, uh...
233
00:11:29,934 --> 00:11:32,234
While you're up,
you could draw me a brew.
234
00:11:32,267 --> 00:11:33,601
All right.
235
00:11:33,634 --> 00:11:34,901
Hey, make it that foreign kind.
236
00:11:34,934 --> 00:11:36,234
You know,
with the little picture
237
00:11:36,267 --> 00:11:38,901
of the mountain
village on the label.
238
00:11:38,934 --> 00:11:41,901
Hey, yeah,
and put it in a frosted mug.
239
00:11:41,934 --> 00:11:42,968
Okay.
240
00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:44,400
Hey, make it two.
241
00:11:44,434 --> 00:11:46,200
Save yourself a trip.
242
00:11:46,234 --> 00:11:47,567
And some peanuts.
243
00:11:47,601 --> 00:11:49,234
Oh, shelled or unshelled?
244
00:11:49,267 --> 00:11:51,400
Surprise me.
245
00:12:02,634 --> 00:12:05,467
"A gentleman who needs
no introduction...
246
00:12:05,501 --> 00:12:08,200
"An artist in a world
of philistines...
247
00:12:08,234 --> 00:12:10,868
"Our last hope for the
life of the theater...
248
00:12:10,901 --> 00:12:13,868
"A man who bestrides this
world like a colossus...
249
00:12:13,901 --> 00:12:17,801
Ladies and gentlemen,
the legend we call Robert Wheeler."
250
00:12:21,033 --> 00:12:22,534
Oh, thank you, thank you.
251
00:12:22,567 --> 00:12:24,501
You're too kind.
252
00:12:25,534 --> 00:12:27,400
Isn't this some place?
253
00:12:27,434 --> 00:12:29,234
So what do you think?
254
00:12:29,267 --> 00:12:31,801
I think that's your 14th
grand entrance of the day.
255
00:12:31,834 --> 00:12:33,234
Hey, latka, latka,
256
00:12:33,267 --> 00:12:36,200
can I bring a date
over here tonight?
257
00:12:36,234 --> 00:12:38,000
Okeydokey, Bobby.
258
00:12:38,033 --> 00:12:39,534
Oh, oh, oh, Bobby, hey.
259
00:12:39,567 --> 00:12:40,801
What, what?
260
00:12:40,834 --> 00:12:44,133
I was thinking about bringing
Cathy over here tonight.
261
00:12:44,167 --> 00:12:46,243
Hey, well, Tony, this is,
like, a big place, you know.
262
00:12:46,267 --> 00:12:47,567
We can both use it, you know?
263
00:12:47,601 --> 00:12:49,543
Yeah, but, uh,
I don't think that's gonna work out
264
00:12:49,567 --> 00:12:51,407
because we both want to
end up in the same room
265
00:12:51,434 --> 00:12:52,577
if you, uh, know what I mean?
266
00:12:52,601 --> 00:12:54,567
Oh, yeah, yeah.
267
00:12:54,601 --> 00:12:57,868
Oh, oh, yeah. Oh, I know, I
know, let's flip for it, okay?
268
00:12:57,901 --> 00:12:59,234
Okay, do you have coins?
269
00:12:59,267 --> 00:13:01,400
Yeah, I got one over here. Here.
270
00:13:01,434 --> 00:13:03,567
All right, um, y-you flip
it, I'll call it.
271
00:13:03,601 --> 00:13:05,100
All right, ready?
272
00:13:05,133 --> 00:13:06,534
Yeah. Heads.
273
00:13:06,567 --> 00:13:07,701
I win.
274
00:13:07,734 --> 00:13:10,067
I get the game room.
275
00:13:11,734 --> 00:13:13,200
Right, uh, okay.
276
00:13:13,234 --> 00:13:15,901
I... I guess I'll just
have to figure out
277
00:13:15,934 --> 00:13:18,434
something to do in
the master bedroom.
278
00:13:19,467 --> 00:13:22,968
I love that jacuzzi.
279
00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:25,701
Oh, I love every
wrinkle on every toe.
280
00:13:25,734 --> 00:13:29,501
Oh, thanks so much, latka,
for sharing this with us.
281
00:13:29,534 --> 00:13:32,200
You know, in my country,
everyone shares with everyone.
282
00:13:32,234 --> 00:13:33,701
Oh, that's beautiful.
283
00:13:33,734 --> 00:13:36,067
Otherwise they shoot you.
284
00:13:41,467 --> 00:13:45,234
Oh, I'm so relaxed.
285
00:13:45,267 --> 00:13:46,567
I can't even remember
286
00:13:46,601 --> 00:13:49,067
what tension and
unhappiness feel like.
287
00:13:49,100 --> 00:13:51,868
There's a Mr. Louie de
palma here to see you.
288
00:13:51,901 --> 00:13:54,467
I just remembered.
289
00:13:54,501 --> 00:13:57,567
De palma?
I don't recall a de palma.
290
00:13:57,601 --> 00:13:59,100
Send him packing.
291
00:13:59,133 --> 00:14:00,567
Don't let him in.
Don't let him in.
292
00:14:00,601 --> 00:14:01,567
Don't let him in. No.
293
00:14:01,601 --> 00:14:04,601
I'm terribly sorry, sir,
but you can't come in.
294
00:14:04,634 --> 00:14:06,767
That's what you think.
295
00:14:12,667 --> 00:14:14,567
I was in the neighborhood.
296
00:14:14,601 --> 00:14:17,334
I thought I'd drop
around to see you.
297
00:14:20,534 --> 00:14:25,133
So this is the apartment
you're all talking about, eh?
298
00:14:25,167 --> 00:14:27,167
Inga... suds.
299
00:14:28,234 --> 00:14:31,200
You know,
we don't have to take this.
300
00:14:31,234 --> 00:14:32,367
All Louie's gonna do
301
00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:34,300
is try and step on our good time.
Yeah.
302
00:14:34,334 --> 00:14:36,167
I say we make Louie
leave right now.
303
00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:38,167
No, no, Bobby, this is my house
304
00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:41,167
and Louie is my guest,
and I want him to stay.
305
00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:43,167
Besides, what negative thing
306
00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:44,534
can he possibly say
307
00:14:44,567 --> 00:14:47,567
about the greatest
apartment in New York City?
308
00:14:47,601 --> 00:14:49,501
That's true. I wonder.
309
00:14:51,567 --> 00:14:53,901
This is a nice apartment.
310
00:14:53,934 --> 00:14:55,901
You're going to feel
like killing yourselves
311
00:14:55,934 --> 00:14:58,000
when you got to leave.
312
00:15:04,634 --> 00:15:06,267
Quick,
get some boards and nails.
313
00:15:06,300 --> 00:15:08,267
Are you kidding?
Our booze is in there.
314
00:15:08,300 --> 00:15:09,501
Oh, yeah, you're right.
315
00:15:09,534 --> 00:15:11,133
Elaine, let him out.
316
00:15:22,667 --> 00:15:27,000
Okay,
I can tell when I'm not wanted.
317
00:15:27,033 --> 00:15:28,200
I can take a hint.
318
00:15:28,234 --> 00:15:30,400
You don't have to
get mechanical.
319
00:15:38,300 --> 00:15:39,534
By the way...
320
00:15:39,567 --> 00:15:41,767
You're out of scotch.
321
00:15:41,801 --> 00:15:42,868
Get him!
322
00:15:47,934 --> 00:15:51,267
You know, uh, Louie's right.
323
00:15:51,300 --> 00:15:53,234
I am gonna miss this place.
324
00:15:53,267 --> 00:15:55,033
Oh, me, too, tone.
325
00:15:55,067 --> 00:15:56,567
Hey, hey, hey,
come on, stop that.
326
00:15:56,601 --> 00:15:58,868
No more "I'm going to
miss this place" talk.
327
00:15:58,901 --> 00:16:00,234
Now, don't worry about it.
328
00:16:00,267 --> 00:16:02,334
We still got four
whole days to enjoy it.
329
00:16:02,367 --> 00:16:05,000
Besides, believe me,
330
00:16:05,033 --> 00:16:07,667
four days will go
by soon enough.
331
00:16:07,701 --> 00:16:10,801
In fact, they'll zip by.
332
00:16:10,834 --> 00:16:13,501
Boy,
am I going to miss this place.
333
00:16:13,534 --> 00:16:15,334
You're going to miss this place?
334
00:16:15,367 --> 00:16:16,667
Do you know that right now
335
00:16:16,701 --> 00:16:19,334
my kids are down at the swimming
pool taking swimming lessons,
336
00:16:19,367 --> 00:16:21,667
and in the afternoon,
they have tennis lessons,
337
00:16:21,701 --> 00:16:25,367
and the elevator operator
is teaching them French.
338
00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:27,734
Damn it!
We got to stay another month.
339
00:16:27,767 --> 00:16:28,968
Hey, I know. I know.
340
00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:30,300
We'll have a rent party, huh?
341
00:16:30,334 --> 00:16:31,801
What's a rent party?
342
00:16:31,834 --> 00:16:33,210
Well, I used to have
them all the time
343
00:16:33,234 --> 00:16:34,534
when I was poor, you know?
344
00:16:34,567 --> 00:16:36,033
It's um, it's like,
what you do, is,
345
00:16:36,067 --> 00:16:37,400
is you have a singles party here
346
00:16:37,434 --> 00:16:39,367
and you charge about
five or ten bucks a head.
347
00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:41,701
That's right.
We could get some of our passengers.
348
00:16:41,734 --> 00:16:43,243
You know,
a lot of them are from out of town.
349
00:16:43,267 --> 00:16:44,877
They're always looking
for something to do.
350
00:16:44,901 --> 00:16:47,100
I mean, a mixer at an
address like this can't miss.
351
00:16:47,133 --> 00:16:48,367
Terrific idea.
352
00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:49,701
Hey, I ain't making no promises,
353
00:16:49,734 --> 00:16:53,067
but maybe I can get
Neil Armstrong here.
354
00:16:59,767 --> 00:17:05,300
Boy, you could get high
on brut in this place.
355
00:17:08,634 --> 00:17:11,400
Hey, Bobby,
we got a problem here.
356
00:17:11,434 --> 00:17:12,934
Oh, really?
357
00:17:12,968 --> 00:17:16,501
Yeah, nobody's dancing.
358
00:17:16,534 --> 00:17:18,767
What happened to all the girls?
359
00:17:18,801 --> 00:17:20,300
There are no girls.
360
00:17:20,334 --> 00:17:23,667
The maid's in hiding
under the pool table.
361
00:17:23,701 --> 00:17:24,834
Well, do you want me
362
00:17:24,868 --> 00:17:26,834
to go round up some
chicks for you?
363
00:17:26,868 --> 00:17:29,334
Tony, it takes you a
month to round up one.
364
00:17:29,367 --> 00:17:31,167
Oh, yeah.
365
00:17:35,501 --> 00:17:37,000
Boy, you know,
366
00:17:37,033 --> 00:17:40,267
some of the women around
here are real dogs.
367
00:17:45,267 --> 00:17:47,033
You know, this party stinks.
368
00:17:47,067 --> 00:17:48,868
Yeah, well, it's, uh...
369
00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:50,200
I guess it's a little slow
370
00:17:50,234 --> 00:17:52,100
but, you know,
some of the best parties
371
00:17:52,133 --> 00:17:53,701
start off kind of slow
and, uh...
372
00:17:53,734 --> 00:17:55,434
There's no women here.
373
00:17:55,467 --> 00:17:56,701
Yeah, well
374
00:17:56,734 --> 00:17:58,367
maybe because of
the gas shortage
375
00:17:58,400 --> 00:17:59,901
they're all coming in one car.
376
00:17:59,934 --> 00:18:01,968
No, I'm just
joking, just joking.
377
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:04,467
Oh, yeah? Well,
I say if something soft and warm
378
00:18:04,501 --> 00:18:06,501
doesn't walk into
this room soon,
379
00:18:06,534 --> 00:18:09,000
I'm going to demand my money
back, right?
380
00:18:09,033 --> 00:18:11,033
Yeah. Come on. Yeah!
381
00:18:11,067 --> 00:18:12,376
How about a loaf of
freshly baked bread?
382
00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:13,667
No, hold it right there.
383
00:18:13,701 --> 00:18:14,901
Now, look, this kind of talk
384
00:18:14,934 --> 00:18:16,334
gets me a little
angry, you know.
385
00:18:16,367 --> 00:18:18,133
Okay, so some of you are upset
386
00:18:18,167 --> 00:18:20,067
because there aren't many women.
387
00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:21,400
All right. All of you are upset
388
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:23,000
because there aren't
many women here.
389
00:18:23,033 --> 00:18:24,300
All right, all right.
390
00:18:24,334 --> 00:18:27,067
All of you are upset because
there aren't any women here.
391
00:18:27,100 --> 00:18:28,667
So what's the big disaster, huh?
392
00:18:28,701 --> 00:18:29,834
I mean, is that so bad?
393
00:18:29,868 --> 00:18:31,000
No, no, come on.
394
00:18:31,033 --> 00:18:33,000
When we were kids,
we didn't need women, uh,
395
00:18:33,033 --> 00:18:34,501
to have fun, did we?
396
00:18:34,534 --> 00:18:36,334
I mean, we, uh,
we played baseball
397
00:18:36,367 --> 00:18:38,167
and, uh,
football and tug-of-war.
398
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:40,334
For some reason,
when we get older,
399
00:18:40,367 --> 00:18:42,400
uh,
we get tangled up with women.
400
00:18:42,434 --> 00:18:43,534
All we can think about
401
00:18:43,567 --> 00:18:45,033
is women, women,
women, girls, girls.
402
00:18:45,067 --> 00:18:46,634
Now, look, no, no,
we have a chance
403
00:18:46,667 --> 00:18:48,167
to make new friends
here tonight.
404
00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:50,534
I mean, you know,
develop comradeship, man-to-man.
405
00:18:50,567 --> 00:18:52,434
Personally,
I'm going to try to get to know
406
00:18:52,467 --> 00:18:54,200
each and every one
of you here tonight.
407
00:18:54,234 --> 00:18:55,567
Oh, really? Is that so?
408
00:18:55,601 --> 00:18:57,067
Then I'm gonna go out
409
00:18:57,100 --> 00:18:59,801
and chase down some
chicks, of course.
410
00:18:59,834 --> 00:19:01,901
I want my money back.
411
00:19:03,467 --> 00:19:05,133
Elaine.
412
00:19:07,434 --> 00:19:10,434
Oh, my god.
413
00:19:10,467 --> 00:19:11,968
Uh...
414
00:19:14,067 --> 00:19:15,934
Elaine, we're in trouble.
415
00:19:15,968 --> 00:19:18,801
You're in trouble.
416
00:19:18,834 --> 00:19:21,701
Hey, Elaine, come
in, meet the guys.
417
00:19:24,334 --> 00:19:25,877
Elaine, Elaine,
they want their money back.
418
00:19:25,901 --> 00:19:27,610
You're the only one that
can get us out of this.
419
00:19:27,634 --> 00:19:29,076
Now, now,
why don't you just go in there
420
00:19:29,100 --> 00:19:30,810
and mingle around a little
bit, talk, you know,
421
00:19:30,834 --> 00:19:32,009
keep their minds
off their money.
422
00:19:32,033 --> 00:19:35,334
Hey, think of your
kids' French lessons.
423
00:19:35,367 --> 00:19:37,534
Think of 31 fun-filled days.
424
00:19:37,567 --> 00:19:39,667
Oh, yeah, yeah, well, I...
425
00:19:39,701 --> 00:19:42,334
I guess it wouldn't hurt
to mingle a little, right?
426
00:19:42,367 --> 00:19:43,834
It doesn't hurt,
it doesn't hurt.
427
00:19:43,868 --> 00:19:45,200
Yeah. Okay.
428
00:19:45,234 --> 00:19:48,033
Mingle, mingle, mingle...
429
00:19:48,067 --> 00:19:51,033
Uh, hi, everybody.
430
00:19:51,067 --> 00:19:53,734
Hi, Elaine!
431
00:19:54,901 --> 00:19:58,501
Well, um, uh...
432
00:19:58,534 --> 00:20:00,100
Let's see, what can we do
433
00:20:00,133 --> 00:20:02,567
to make this a more
fun-filled evening?
434
00:20:02,601 --> 00:20:03,701
Any suggestions?
435
00:20:03,734 --> 00:20:04,868
Uh, no, uh, music!
436
00:20:04,901 --> 00:20:06,367
How about some music?
437
00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:07,534
Tony? Tony?
438
00:20:07,567 --> 00:20:08,710
That's a great idea, great idea.
439
00:20:08,734 --> 00:20:10,133
Good. Okay. Great idea.
440
00:20:10,167 --> 00:20:13,234
A little beat now.
441
00:20:20,901 --> 00:20:24,033
Well, uh...
Would anybody like to dance?
442
00:20:24,067 --> 00:20:25,901
Yeah!
443
00:20:25,934 --> 00:20:27,400
Fellas, fellas, fellas.
444
00:20:27,434 --> 00:20:28,734
Just-just step back a little.
445
00:20:28,767 --> 00:20:29,901
Give her some room.
446
00:20:29,934 --> 00:20:33,868
No, Elaine will
dance, we will watch.
447
00:20:33,901 --> 00:20:35,067
Don, watch.
448
00:20:35,100 --> 00:20:36,734
Elaine will dance,
Don will watch.
449
00:20:36,767 --> 00:20:37,901
Don, see Elaine dance?
450
00:20:37,934 --> 00:20:39,267
Yeah.
451
00:20:39,300 --> 00:20:41,334
Dance, Elaine.
452
00:20:42,367 --> 00:20:44,400
Oh...
453
00:20:44,434 --> 00:20:46,367
Now you want your money back?
454
00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:48,367
I want everybody's money back.
455
00:20:50,534 --> 00:20:52,133
Elaine...
456
00:20:53,434 --> 00:20:56,067
Look at this!
457
00:21:03,267 --> 00:21:06,300
Oh, look at this.
458
00:21:09,767 --> 00:21:11,534
Hey, come on, now.
459
00:21:11,567 --> 00:21:12,734
Elaine!
460
00:21:12,767 --> 00:21:13,767
Look at this!
461
00:21:22,334 --> 00:21:24,300
All right! Yeah!
462
00:21:28,267 --> 00:21:29,701
Look, take it easy.
463
00:21:29,734 --> 00:21:31,901
There's your ten,
now, there's yours.
464
00:21:31,934 --> 00:21:33,767
I'm glad you could come tonight.
465
00:21:33,801 --> 00:21:35,601
It's been a fun-filled evening.
466
00:21:35,634 --> 00:21:36,734
Thank you so much.
467
00:21:36,767 --> 00:21:38,234
Well, that's that.
468
00:21:38,267 --> 00:21:40,801
No more French lessons.
469
00:21:40,834 --> 00:21:43,000
No more water bed.
470
00:21:43,033 --> 00:21:45,467
No more game room.
471
00:21:45,501 --> 00:21:48,167
Louie was right...
we are losers.
472
00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:51,033
No, no, latka... wrong.
473
00:21:52,434 --> 00:21:53,968
No one with a friend like you
474
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:55,234
can be called a loser.
475
00:21:55,267 --> 00:21:58,534
You gave us a great
month, latka, thanks.
476
00:21:58,567 --> 00:22:01,434
Aw, latka, don't feel so bad.
477
00:22:01,467 --> 00:22:03,267
Listen to me.
478
00:22:03,300 --> 00:22:05,767
Tomorrow we're all going
to go out and find you
479
00:22:05,801 --> 00:22:07,033
a great place to live.
480
00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:10,968
Are you okay?
481
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:12,734
Yes, i-I'm okay.
482
00:22:12,767 --> 00:22:17,133
But I have been thinking,
and I have this one thought.
483
00:22:18,300 --> 00:22:22,033
You know,
for me to live in a place like this
484
00:22:22,067 --> 00:22:23,701
has been a miracle.
485
00:22:23,734 --> 00:22:26,801
And someday,
when things are bad,
486
00:22:26,834 --> 00:22:31,701
and I have no money and no
food, and I'm depressed,
487
00:22:31,734 --> 00:22:35,400
I will think about this
month that I lived here,
488
00:22:35,434 --> 00:22:39,300
and I will feel even worse.
489
00:22:40,367 --> 00:22:42,601
Hey, what do you say we, uh...
we leave
490
00:22:42,634 --> 00:22:44,601
and let latka spend
the last night
491
00:22:44,634 --> 00:22:45,901
in his own apartment.
492
00:22:45,934 --> 00:22:47,667
Oh, yeah, good idea.
493
00:22:47,701 --> 00:22:48,834
Good-bye.
494
00:22:48,868 --> 00:22:49,868
See you, latka.
495
00:22:49,901 --> 00:22:51,400
Bye-bye.
496
00:22:51,434 --> 00:22:52,567
Thanks a lot, latka.
497
00:22:52,601 --> 00:22:53,901
Good night. See you. Thanks.
498
00:22:53,934 --> 00:22:54,901
Bye.
499
00:22:54,934 --> 00:22:56,067
Bye-bye.
500
00:22:56,100 --> 00:22:57,267
Bye-bye.
501
00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:02,601
Bye-bye.
502
00:23:02,634 --> 00:23:04,234
Bye-bye.
503
00:23:07,968 --> 00:23:11,400
Bye-bye... apartment.
504
00:23:21,334 --> 00:23:24,868
Good-bye, apartment.
505
00:23:24,901 --> 00:23:27,067
I'm going to miss you.
506
00:23:35,434 --> 00:23:38,167
Good-bye, panoramic view.
507
00:23:41,501 --> 00:23:44,334
Mr. Gravas?
508
00:23:44,367 --> 00:23:46,000
Yes?
509
00:23:48,033 --> 00:23:49,400
Nik-Nik?
510
00:23:49,434 --> 00:23:53,067
Oh, thank you very much.
511
00:24:27,968 --> 00:24:29,534
Night, Mr. Walters.
35058
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