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1
00:00:01,200 --> 00:00:03,670
What would make this
a great experience for you,
2
00:00:03,700 --> 00:00:05,070
and what would you like
to come out
3
00:00:05,100 --> 00:00:06,300
of the experience with?
4
00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:08,370
I'm looking to come...
No, I'm kidding.
5
00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:10,570
I mean, it would be
an added bonus, but...
6
00:00:10,610 --> 00:00:13,240
I think you're setting
yourself up
7
00:00:13,280 --> 00:00:14,680
for a disappointment.
8
00:00:14,710 --> 00:00:16,350
Okay.
Orgasm fail.
9
00:00:16,380 --> 00:00:18,780
No orgasms today.
10
00:00:20,820 --> 00:00:26,360
**
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00:00:26,390 --> 00:00:28,820
Karley: God, being a mostly
straight woman
12
00:00:28,860 --> 00:00:30,430
can be really stressful.
13
00:00:30,460 --> 00:00:32,760
For some reason, some men
seem to find it hard
14
00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:35,360
to make a woman come,
15
00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:38,370
and I'm sick of
dating my vibrator.
16
00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:42,770
I got to thinking, "Why are
happy endings available to men
17
00:00:42,810 --> 00:00:45,670
but not to women?"
18
00:00:45,710 --> 00:00:49,150
In the age of Amazon Prime,
why is it impossible for a woman
19
00:00:49,180 --> 00:00:53,450
to get an orgasm on demand
in this town, right?
20
00:00:53,480 --> 00:01:00,520
**
21
00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:03,230
According to the Internet,
there are over 1,000
22
00:01:03,260 --> 00:01:06,130
happy ending massage parlors
in New York City alone,
23
00:01:06,160 --> 00:01:08,830
but those are almost
exclusively for men.
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00:01:08,860 --> 00:01:10,600
Unfair.
25
00:01:10,630 --> 00:01:13,170
I wonder if the rest of the
ostensibly horny people
26
00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:15,600
in this city agree
that the female population
27
00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:18,440
is orgasmically marginalized.
28
00:01:18,470 --> 00:01:21,880
Have either of you ever had
a happy ending massage?
29
00:01:21,910 --> 00:01:24,310
No, not at all.
30
00:01:24,350 --> 00:01:25,550
-No.
-No.
31
00:01:25,580 --> 00:01:27,850
I've never had a happy
ending massage.
32
00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:30,150
Have you ever had
a happy ending massage?
33
00:01:32,420 --> 00:01:34,120
I don't even know
what it means.
34
00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:36,860
Have you ever had
a strange woman
35
00:01:36,890 --> 00:01:39,560
that you paid jerk you off
at the end of a massage?
36
00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:41,830
I wish I had.
Oh, my...
37
00:01:41,860 --> 00:01:44,270
I'm looking to get one.
38
00:01:44,300 --> 00:01:45,900
How do you jerk off
a woman?
39
00:01:45,930 --> 00:01:48,400
Have you ever had
a happy ending massage?
40
00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:50,610
I have, actually.
It was very clinical.
41
00:01:50,640 --> 00:01:51,710
-Yeah.
42
00:01:51,740 --> 00:01:53,210
I was just...
It was very, like...
43
00:01:53,240 --> 00:01:54,910
It wasn't very sexual.
44
00:01:54,940 --> 00:01:56,580
From what I understand,
it's, like,
45
00:01:56,610 --> 00:01:58,250
if they massage your shoulder.
They'll massage your dick.
46
00:01:58,280 --> 00:01:59,680
-Yeah.
-Like, that's about it.
47
00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:01,150
Do you think it can be
the same way for women,
48
00:02:01,180 --> 00:02:02,520
and that women
could just go in
49
00:02:02,550 --> 00:02:04,920
and get a sort
of mechanical handjob
50
00:02:04,950 --> 00:02:06,820
and feel better
afterwards?
51
00:02:06,860 --> 00:02:08,560
I feel like most women
52
00:02:08,590 --> 00:02:11,160
are kind of, like,
sapiosexual.
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00:02:11,190 --> 00:02:13,330
Like, it's not just
the cock they want.
54
00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:14,760
Like, there's something
beyond that.
55
00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:16,570
-Cock and brain.
-That's cock and brain.
56
00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:17,870
Yeah.
57
00:02:17,900 --> 00:02:19,640
Women just aren't
agreeable to being like,
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00:02:19,670 --> 00:02:22,640
"Hey. Finger me and then
I'm gonna leave."
59
00:02:22,670 --> 00:02:24,870
There definitely is
a social stigma
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00:02:24,910 --> 00:02:26,880
that women can't explore
their sexuality
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00:02:26,910 --> 00:02:28,610
in ways that men can.
62
00:02:28,640 --> 00:02:30,610
Yeah, like, in the name
of gender equality,
63
00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:32,550
I feel like
we should be able
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00:02:32,580 --> 00:02:34,550
to get orgasms
from strangers.
65
00:02:34,580 --> 00:02:36,690
-Exactly.
-I'm looking to find one.
66
00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:38,650
I hope you find
your happy ending.
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00:02:38,690 --> 00:02:40,320
Thank you.
68
00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:41,820
Karley: It seems that most
people don't think women
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00:02:41,860 --> 00:02:43,530
are interested
in happy endings,
70
00:02:43,560 --> 00:02:46,530
but I am, and I can't
be the only one.
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00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:48,200
Thankfully, I discovered
a website
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00:02:48,230 --> 00:02:49,600
called Cowboys and Angels,
73
00:02:49,630 --> 00:02:52,540
which offers professional
male escorts for hire,
74
00:02:52,570 --> 00:02:55,200
so, in search of the
transactional orgasm
75
00:02:55,240 --> 00:02:57,640
of my dreams,
I booked an hour with Ash,
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00:02:57,670 --> 00:02:59,280
a hunky male companion
with hair longer
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00:02:59,310 --> 00:03:01,710
and shinier than mine.
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00:03:05,310 --> 00:03:06,480
Hi. Hey.
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00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:07,820
Nice to meet you.
-Nice to meet you.
80
00:03:07,850 --> 00:03:09,550
-You look great. Yeah.
81
00:03:09,590 --> 00:03:12,890
Ash.
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00:03:12,920 --> 00:03:14,890
I want to see you get ready.
83
00:03:14,920 --> 00:03:16,530
Yeah? All right.
Cool.
84
00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:17,830
How long have you
been an escort?
85
00:03:17,860 --> 00:03:18,830
Five years.
86
00:03:18,860 --> 00:03:20,500
Do you like it?
87
00:03:20,530 --> 00:03:21,900
I do.
I love it.
88
00:03:21,930 --> 00:03:23,430
At the end of the day,
89
00:03:23,470 --> 00:03:25,700
it's all about connecting
with somebody.
90
00:03:25,730 --> 00:03:27,470
Right.
And looking good.
91
00:03:27,500 --> 00:03:28,700
Well, yeah.
92
00:03:28,740 --> 00:03:30,640
You definitely got
to look decent.
93
00:03:30,670 --> 00:03:32,310
-Yeah, yeah.
-Yeah.
94
00:03:32,340 --> 00:03:35,780
And when people pay
for your services,
95
00:03:35,810 --> 00:03:36,980
is sex guaranteed?
96
00:03:37,010 --> 00:03:39,450
Not at all.
Not at all.
97
00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:42,850
It's strictly for our time.
Yeah.
98
00:03:42,890 --> 00:03:46,420
But if you feel like
the date is going well
99
00:03:46,460 --> 00:03:47,720
and you're getting
along with someone,
100
00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:49,590
you could choose
to sleep with them?
101
00:03:49,630 --> 00:03:51,490
I will say, things can
get very romantic.
102
00:03:51,530 --> 00:03:53,330
It's like a normal date,
like, nothing is guaranteed.
103
00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:55,560
-Exactly. Exactly.
-Yeah.
104
00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:58,500
So, like, I have to work
a little harder, too.
105
00:03:58,530 --> 00:03:59,740
Yeah.
106
00:03:59,770 --> 00:04:00,870
Okay, should we go?
107
00:04:00,900 --> 00:04:03,910
-All right. Let's do it.
-Yeah.
108
00:04:03,940 --> 00:04:05,810
Karley:
Even though I wasn't definitely
going to get my happy ending,
109
00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:08,610
I was excited to get day drunk
with my overpriced arm candy
110
00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:10,880
and pretend not to be
staring at his pecs.
111
00:04:10,910 --> 00:04:14,380
How much does it cost
to spend a day with you?
112
00:04:14,420 --> 00:04:15,750
$4,500.
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00:04:15,780 --> 00:04:17,450
That's not cheap.
114
00:04:17,490 --> 00:04:20,060
I guess, but worth it.
115
00:04:20,090 --> 00:04:22,530
True.
I think so.
116
00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:24,360
So what's the protocol when
you're out in public
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00:04:24,390 --> 00:04:25,890
with someone,
like, can I...
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00:04:25,930 --> 00:04:27,630
Am I allowed
to touch you, or what?
119
00:04:27,660 --> 00:04:29,930
It's very much like a
boyfriend-girlfriend experience,
120
00:04:29,970 --> 00:04:32,670
so, yeah, like,
generally, like,
121
00:04:32,700 --> 00:04:34,640
I'll be walking like this
122
00:04:34,670 --> 00:04:36,910
or I'll have my arm out,
like, you know?
123
00:04:36,940 --> 00:04:39,380
-Yeah. Yeah.
-It's casual and natural.
124
00:04:39,410 --> 00:04:42,410
Okay.
125
00:04:42,450 --> 00:04:44,010
Thank you.
-You're welcome.
126
00:04:44,050 --> 00:04:46,080
I like
the gentlemanly touch.
127
00:04:46,110 --> 00:04:48,720
Cheers.
-Cheers.
128
00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:54,520
Who is
your typical client?
129
00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:58,660
The general age demographic
will be between 30 and 40.
130
00:04:58,690 --> 00:05:00,860
You get a lot of
high-powered businesswomen
131
00:05:00,900 --> 00:05:02,870
who just don't have
time for bullshit,
132
00:05:02,900 --> 00:05:05,670
so they're looking for
a good date experience,
133
00:05:05,700 --> 00:05:07,900
somebody they can have
a great time with
134
00:05:07,940 --> 00:05:10,040
and just
no strings attached.
135
00:05:10,070 --> 00:05:14,580
Women generally are
looking to feel special
136
00:05:14,610 --> 00:05:16,080
and feel like I'm actually
listening to them.
137
00:05:16,110 --> 00:05:17,980
I actually care about
who they are
138
00:05:18,010 --> 00:05:19,080
or what they're into.
139
00:05:19,110 --> 00:05:20,780
But I feel like
140
00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:22,080
we're having a really nice,
genuine conversation,
141
00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:23,690
and this idea that,
you know, like,
142
00:05:23,720 --> 00:05:25,350
if you're paying for someone
to pay attention to you,
143
00:05:25,390 --> 00:05:26,620
that that's sad.
144
00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:28,820
It's, like, well,
I pay a therapist.
145
00:05:28,860 --> 00:05:29,830
Like,
why is it different?
146
00:05:29,860 --> 00:05:31,960
Yeah.
That's true.
147
00:05:31,990 --> 00:05:33,130
You know, I actually pay
so many people
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00:05:33,160 --> 00:05:34,630
to pay attention to me.
149
00:05:34,660 --> 00:05:36,370
I have, like, a trainer,
a therapist, like,
150
00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:37,670
a yoga instructor.
151
00:05:37,700 --> 00:05:38,930
Like, literally,
I just pay people
152
00:05:38,970 --> 00:05:40,600
to be around me
all day, basically.
153
00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:43,710
I mean,
this is fun for me.
154
00:05:43,740 --> 00:05:44,840
Do you ever find yourself
really attracted
155
00:05:44,870 --> 00:05:46,140
to the person
156
00:05:46,170 --> 00:05:47,610
and end up having
a lot of fun, like,
157
00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:49,950
and you just even forget
that it's a service?
158
00:05:49,980 --> 00:05:51,950
I will say I do have
a lot of fun,
159
00:05:51,980 --> 00:05:54,880
but I never forget
it's a service.
160
00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:57,720
-Yes.
161
00:05:57,750 --> 00:06:00,560
It's definitely a job.
162
00:06:00,590 --> 00:06:03,860
What I'm looking for is,
I'm interested in the idea
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00:06:03,890 --> 00:06:06,600
of just having
a happy ending, right?
164
00:06:06,630 --> 00:06:10,030
I just feel like guys get that
and it's just interesting
165
00:06:10,070 --> 00:06:11,700
that it doesn't
feel like there
166
00:06:11,730 --> 00:06:13,600
is a service out there
for women who just,
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00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:15,070
like, want to get off.
168
00:06:15,100 --> 00:06:17,140
I get it, and I really think
there should be a service
169
00:06:17,170 --> 00:06:18,670
because it could be done
170
00:06:18,710 --> 00:06:21,010
in a very therapeutic
way and a safe way.
171
00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:24,610
Who doesn't want that, like,
having an amazing massage
172
00:06:24,650 --> 00:06:26,580
and have all parts
of your body massaged
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00:06:26,620 --> 00:06:29,150
and finishing off
with a nice orgasm?
174
00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:30,650
Sounds pretty amazing
to me.
175
00:06:30,690 --> 00:06:32,590
Do you think that
there's more women
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00:06:32,620 --> 00:06:34,090
who are willing
to pay for it,
177
00:06:34,120 --> 00:06:36,120
whether it be for an orgasm
or for companionship,
178
00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:38,760
than people think?
-Big time.
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00:06:38,790 --> 00:06:40,630
When I started working,
there was 20 guys in the agency.
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00:06:40,660 --> 00:06:42,800
Now there's over 60 guys
at the agency,
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00:06:42,830 --> 00:06:45,470
and I feel like there
was a need for it,
182
00:06:45,500 --> 00:06:47,170
and suddenly it's there.
183
00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:48,770
I would assume that there has
to be multiple factors, right?
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00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:51,010
One has to be that women
are making more money,
185
00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:54,710
but I also think that, in terms
of female sexual agency,
186
00:06:54,740 --> 00:06:56,510
we've come a long way
in recent years.
187
00:06:56,550 --> 00:06:57,980
Yeah, definitely.
188
00:06:58,010 --> 00:06:59,520
I think it comes more from
an empowered point of view.
189
00:06:59,550 --> 00:07:01,750
They don't care
what anybody else thinks.
190
00:07:01,780 --> 00:07:03,690
Cheers.
191
00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:05,490
Karley: Wow.
I was having so much fun.
192
00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:09,060
I almost forgot it wasn't a real
date until the check came.
193
00:07:09,090 --> 00:07:11,630
I'm picking up
the check, right?
194
00:07:11,660 --> 00:07:13,960
-Yes.
-It's okay.
195
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:17,230
I'm empowered.
196
00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:18,800
I really enjoyed my time
with Ash.
197
00:07:18,830 --> 00:07:20,570
I thought he was so charming,
198
00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:21,900
but what I learned
from this experience
199
00:07:21,940 --> 00:07:23,740
is that paying
for a male escort,
200
00:07:23,770 --> 00:07:25,810
there's just a huge
time commitment.
201
00:07:25,840 --> 00:07:30,950
It's not really that guarantee
of an orgasm on demand.
202
00:07:30,980 --> 00:07:33,020
You're just paying
for someone's time,
203
00:07:33,050 --> 00:07:34,880
but I thought that
it was interesting
204
00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:37,950
that he said that there's a huge
increase in the amount of women
205
00:07:37,990 --> 00:07:39,890
who are willing
to assert themselves
206
00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:42,830
and what they want sexually and
to pay for male companionship,
207
00:07:42,860 --> 00:07:44,590
and that makes me think
that if I dig a little deeper
208
00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:45,860
that I might be able
to find someone
209
00:07:45,890 --> 00:07:47,860
who's offering women
210
00:07:47,900 --> 00:07:50,230
a transactional orgasm
on demand.
211
00:07:50,270 --> 00:07:51,700
It's got to be out there.
212
00:07:51,730 --> 00:07:53,570
Fully naked or panties?
213
00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:55,640
I feel like I've actually, like,
been traumatized.
214
00:07:55,670 --> 00:07:58,640
Do you trust these hands
to touch you?
215
00:08:04,110 --> 00:08:09,220
**
216
00:08:09,250 --> 00:08:10,850
Karley:
After my male escort fail,
217
00:08:10,890 --> 00:08:12,860
I needed to try
a different approach,
218
00:08:12,890 --> 00:08:14,890
something a little
more free love.
219
00:08:14,920 --> 00:08:17,290
Thankfully, I discovered
a man in San Francisco
220
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:20,000
who claims to be a guru
of female pleasure.
221
00:08:20,030 --> 00:08:22,530
In order words,
a vagina whisperer.
222
00:08:22,570 --> 00:08:23,730
Tom: I've got
my pussy puppet here.
223
00:08:23,770 --> 00:08:25,200
Can we do the pussy
puppet thing?
224
00:08:25,230 --> 00:08:28,570
-This is very scientific.
-Yes.
225
00:08:28,600 --> 00:08:31,970
This is a very
scientific puppet.
226
00:08:32,010 --> 00:08:34,810
Tom, who is a sexological
bodyworker,
227
00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:38,780
operates in this gray space
where he uses massage
228
00:08:38,810 --> 00:08:41,320
and sensual touching
to help women
229
00:08:41,350 --> 00:08:43,250
to understand their own bodies
and their own pleasure,
230
00:08:43,290 --> 00:08:46,990
while also feeding
them pleasure.
231
00:08:47,020 --> 00:08:49,260
So we're talking about
self-knowledge here,
232
00:08:49,290 --> 00:08:52,090
and we want to know
what your parts are
233
00:08:52,130 --> 00:08:54,900
and agree on
the language we're using.
234
00:08:54,930 --> 00:08:58,770
Inner lips, outer lips,
vestibular bulbs,
235
00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:01,900
urethral sponge,
perineal sponge,
236
00:09:01,940 --> 00:09:04,640
clitoral hood
and clitoris.
237
00:09:04,670 --> 00:09:06,170
The G-spot.
238
00:09:06,210 --> 00:09:09,080
Actually, yeah, the G-spot,
right...Feel it.
239
00:09:09,110 --> 00:09:12,010
It has little
ridges on it,
240
00:09:12,050 --> 00:09:15,120
just like
the urethral sponge.
241
00:09:15,150 --> 00:09:16,990
What would make this
a great experience for you,
242
00:09:17,020 --> 00:09:20,790
and what would you like to come
out of the experience with?
243
00:09:20,820 --> 00:09:22,990
I'm looking to come...
No, I'm kidding.
244
00:09:23,030 --> 00:09:25,190
I mean, it would be
an added bonus, but...
245
00:09:25,230 --> 00:09:28,260
I appreciate
your vulnerability
246
00:09:28,300 --> 00:09:30,670
you're expressing there.
247
00:09:30,700 --> 00:09:34,770
If you have the expectation
or even the desire
248
00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:37,710
to have an orgasm
during this session,
249
00:09:37,740 --> 00:09:40,810
I think you're setting yourself
up for a disappointment.
250
00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:43,810
Let's put that one totally off
the table and make it a rule,
251
00:09:43,850 --> 00:09:46,680
actually, and say,
"No orgasms today."
252
00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:47,920
Okay.
253
00:09:47,950 --> 00:09:49,150
That's not what
we're gonna do.
254
00:09:49,180 --> 00:09:51,150
Karley: Shit.
Why am I here again?
255
00:09:51,190 --> 00:09:56,990
Women sometimes
come to me wanting...
256
00:09:57,030 --> 00:09:59,830
I call it a yoni massage...
257
00:09:59,860 --> 00:10:02,230
yoni, the tantric word
for sacred temple.
258
00:10:02,260 --> 00:10:04,200
Yeah.
259
00:10:04,230 --> 00:10:06,400
They'll just come and say,
"I want a yoni massage
260
00:10:06,430 --> 00:10:08,970
and I want an orgasm.
Give it to me."
261
00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:12,210
I used to offer that kind
of service right away,
262
00:10:12,240 --> 00:10:14,380
and then I discovered
that, really,
263
00:10:14,410 --> 00:10:15,910
it was counterproductive,
264
00:10:15,940 --> 00:10:19,680
that we might make a huge
gain in the beginning,
265
00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:21,980
but then
it just would fizzle.
266
00:10:22,020 --> 00:10:24,190
So what is the process,
exactly?
267
00:10:24,220 --> 00:10:27,190
The first session
in sexological bodywork
268
00:10:27,220 --> 00:10:29,960
would be exploring
why they're there
269
00:10:29,990 --> 00:10:32,030
and what
their issues are.
270
00:10:32,060 --> 00:10:33,660
If they're
really ready for it,
271
00:10:33,700 --> 00:10:35,960
the second session would be
a standard massage,
272
00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:37,770
getting comfortable
with each other,
273
00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:39,100
and then the third session,
274
00:10:39,130 --> 00:10:40,970
if everything
is going smoothly,
275
00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:44,370
we might go right to a vaginal
mapping experience
276
00:10:44,410 --> 00:10:46,040
or a yoni massage.
277
00:10:46,070 --> 00:10:48,210
Do you think that the reason
that women eventually
278
00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:49,950
do feel comfortable
coming to you is
279
00:10:49,980 --> 00:10:52,780
because there is
a therapeutic element?
280
00:10:52,820 --> 00:10:54,150
Oh, sure.
281
00:10:54,180 --> 00:10:55,950
Yeah, and oftentimes,
because of our upbringing,
282
00:10:55,980 --> 00:10:58,420
because of the culture
we live in,
283
00:10:58,450 --> 00:11:01,090
which is really
a sex-negative culture,
284
00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:02,960
because of the conditioning
we've had mostly
285
00:11:02,990 --> 00:11:05,260
from religious...
286
00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:10,030
particularly the Christian
background...
287
00:11:10,070 --> 00:11:12,870
we are whole
except our genitals.
288
00:11:12,900 --> 00:11:16,340
Sexological bodywork is
about being alive,
289
00:11:16,370 --> 00:11:20,180
totally alive
in our bodies.
290
00:11:20,210 --> 00:11:22,140
So should we do
the vaginal mapping?
291
00:11:22,180 --> 00:11:24,180
Yeah.
I want to map my vagina.
292
00:11:24,210 --> 00:11:26,880
This is
the more intimate part,
293
00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:30,220
and so I wanted you to take
my hands in yours here.
294
00:11:30,250 --> 00:11:32,390
-Mm-hmm.
-I wanted to make sure that...
295
00:11:32,420 --> 00:11:34,160
You know, we're
doing this for TV...
296
00:11:34,190 --> 00:11:36,730
that you're choosing
this for you.
297
00:11:36,760 --> 00:11:38,860
Do you trust these hands
to touch you?
298
00:11:38,890 --> 00:11:40,860
-I'm down.
299
00:11:40,900 --> 00:11:42,260
-I'm down. Yeah.
-Okay.
300
00:11:42,300 --> 00:11:45,100
Get under the sheet
with your head right here.
301
00:11:45,130 --> 00:11:48,800
Tom: Vaginal mapping
is a process
302
00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:51,840
of learning about your vagina,
303
00:11:51,870 --> 00:11:58,980
me going in and touching
different parts of the yoni
304
00:11:59,010 --> 00:12:03,350
and doing a scale of 1
to 3 on the positive side
305
00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:05,220
or 1 to 3 on the negative side,
306
00:12:05,250 --> 00:12:07,860
getting feedback from you
of what's pleasurable,
307
00:12:07,890 --> 00:12:09,890
what's painful,
what's irritating.
308
00:12:09,930 --> 00:12:11,230
Karley: I would say
that's a negative one
309
00:12:11,260 --> 00:12:12,290
because
that makes me feel
310
00:12:12,330 --> 00:12:13,360
like I'm gonna
pee my pants.
311
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:14,530
Mm-hmm.
312
00:12:14,560 --> 00:12:18,030
When I move a little
bit forward...
313
00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:19,370
Maybe, like, a zero.
314
00:12:19,400 --> 00:12:20,770
Mm-hmm.
315
00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:23,840
Forward still.
316
00:12:23,870 --> 00:12:25,070
Zero.
317
00:12:25,110 --> 00:12:28,310
So the point is for me
318
00:12:28,340 --> 00:12:29,910
to learn
in this sort of slow
319
00:12:29,950 --> 00:12:33,250
and controlled setting
where feels good.
320
00:12:33,280 --> 00:12:34,520
Exactly.
321
00:12:34,550 --> 00:12:35,820
Where there's no
pressure to perform
322
00:12:35,850 --> 00:12:37,850
or to get anywhere
or whatever.
323
00:12:37,890 --> 00:12:41,390
We're just on, like, a Lewis
and Clark mapping expedition.
324
00:12:41,420 --> 00:12:43,390
We're crossing
the Missouri
325
00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:46,060
and heading up
into the wild country.
326
00:12:46,090 --> 00:12:47,830
Karley: I knew there was
a therapeutic component
327
00:12:47,860 --> 00:12:49,500
to sexological bodywork,
328
00:12:49,530 --> 00:12:52,900
but this feels
a bit OB/GYN-esque.
329
00:12:52,940 --> 00:12:54,270
I assume that for some women,
330
00:12:54,300 --> 00:12:56,100
the medical component
makes being touched
331
00:12:56,140 --> 00:12:58,170
by a man in this way
more approachable,
332
00:12:58,210 --> 00:13:01,210
but I'm personally not looking
for therapeutic hand-holding.
333
00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:02,850
What's the number?
334
00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:05,310
Like, 1, 2.5, 3.
335
00:13:05,350 --> 00:13:08,320
I don't...I mean,
is 3, like, crazy?
336
00:13:08,350 --> 00:13:10,490
And honestly, how am I
supposed to try to come
337
00:13:10,520 --> 00:13:12,920
while you're asking me
to do literal math?
338
00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:14,960
Oh, no.
339
00:13:24,130 --> 00:13:25,870
Tom: The female orgasm,
340
00:13:25,900 --> 00:13:27,300
it's not
even in the same category
341
00:13:27,340 --> 00:13:29,070
as the male orgasm.
342
00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:31,070
It's a mystery,
ultimately.
343
00:13:31,110 --> 00:13:34,040
It's like God
or something, you know?
344
00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:36,110
You approach it
with humility.
345
00:13:36,140 --> 00:13:39,050
Karley: Two strikes on my quest
for a happy ending.
346
00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:40,480
It got me thinking,
347
00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:43,120
"What's so damn difficult
about the female orgasm
348
00:13:43,150 --> 00:13:47,060
that makes even professionals
shy away from promising one?"
349
00:13:47,090 --> 00:13:49,320
So, welcome.
Welcome to Cocktales.
350
00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:51,030
Thank you for coming.
351
00:13:51,060 --> 00:13:53,200
Karley: When Tom is not busy
mapping people's vaginas,
352
00:13:53,230 --> 00:13:56,230
he leads a men's sexuality group
called Cocktales.
353
00:13:56,260 --> 00:13:58,230
Here, men sit around in a circle
354
00:13:58,270 --> 00:14:00,070
and basically share
their insecurities
355
00:14:00,100 --> 00:14:01,400
around the female orgasm.
356
00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:04,170
So twice in the experience
of Cocktales,
357
00:14:04,210 --> 00:14:06,610
we've had women witnesses,
358
00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:10,410
so we're doing a version
of that tonight with Karley
359
00:14:10,450 --> 00:14:13,120
sitting outside the circle
and holding space for us.
360
00:14:13,150 --> 00:14:15,220
So let's just do introductions.
361
00:14:15,250 --> 00:14:16,580
I'll start.
362
00:14:16,620 --> 00:14:21,620
I'm Tom, and I'm feeling
excited and curious.
363
00:14:21,660 --> 00:14:25,230
I'm Ilio,
and I feel my heart
364
00:14:25,260 --> 00:14:26,960
going a little faster
than normal.
365
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:29,100
It tells me
I'm a little nervous.
366
00:14:29,130 --> 00:14:30,630
Hi.
My name is Jason,
367
00:14:30,670 --> 00:14:36,140
so I'm feeling a little
sacrificial or something,
368
00:14:36,170 --> 00:14:40,910
not so excited about bearing
some intimate details
369
00:14:40,940 --> 00:14:42,640
of my own insecurities.
370
00:14:42,680 --> 00:14:48,320
Okay, well, I'll come at this
from the, um,
371
00:14:48,350 --> 00:14:51,450
pretty insecure place.
372
00:14:51,490 --> 00:14:52,690
I'm happily married.
373
00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:54,490
I had to go through
a lot of stuff
374
00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:58,460
to get to this very average
lover place that I am right now.
375
00:14:58,490 --> 00:15:02,530
I would love to be capable
of helping my wife
376
00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:05,530
have these explosive,
amazing orgasms,
377
00:15:05,570 --> 00:15:10,270
and I feel like
it's on me to step it up.
378
00:15:13,740 --> 00:15:15,680
So I think where I want
to start is kind of like,
379
00:15:15,710 --> 00:15:19,480
the ego in me wants to be,
of course, pleasing,
380
00:15:19,510 --> 00:15:22,280
and I do feel like a failure
if I've come,
381
00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:24,150
and she has not.
382
00:15:24,190 --> 00:15:27,120
One thing I'm experiencing
is instead of being
383
00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:31,290
that assertive male
presence during sex,
384
00:15:31,330 --> 00:15:36,100
to leave room for
something else to happen,
385
00:15:36,130 --> 00:15:39,400
not being this man that's
there driving the orgasm,
386
00:15:39,430 --> 00:15:41,240
and I know there's, like,
a little part in me
387
00:15:41,270 --> 00:15:44,610
that has to die each time
that I do that.
388
00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:46,710
Yeah.
-Thanks.
389
00:15:46,740 --> 00:15:50,450
She needs to be able to come
to ease my sensitive male ego.
390
00:15:50,480 --> 00:15:56,450
There can be so much
charge and attachment
391
00:15:56,480 --> 00:15:58,250
around a woman's orgasm.
392
00:15:58,290 --> 00:16:02,020
I feel like I've actually,
like, been traumatized.
393
00:16:02,060 --> 00:16:05,460
I don't think there's
anything in my life
394
00:16:05,490 --> 00:16:07,330
that I've spent more time
thinking about
395
00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:09,100
and practicing for
396
00:16:09,130 --> 00:16:13,700
and attempting and still,
at 63 years old,
397
00:16:13,740 --> 00:16:16,670
not knowing anything.
398
00:16:16,700 --> 00:16:18,640
Karley: Should I...
Can I say something?
399
00:16:18,670 --> 00:16:20,440
In the sort of wider culture,
400
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:23,310
men are expected to be competent
when it comes to sex,
401
00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:26,210
and so the vulnerability
of asking,
402
00:16:26,250 --> 00:16:28,350
like, "What feels good for you?"
or "What am I doing wrong?"
403
00:16:28,380 --> 00:16:30,590
or "How do I do this?"
is, like, "emasculating,"
404
00:16:30,620 --> 00:16:33,120
whereas, of course that's going
to be the primary way
405
00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:36,320
that you would actually find out
how to please somebody,
406
00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:39,360
and then women feel like they
can't ask for what they want
407
00:16:39,390 --> 00:16:41,360
because they don't want to,
408
00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:43,430
you know, hurt
their partner's ego
409
00:16:43,470 --> 00:16:45,130
or make them feel insecure,
410
00:16:45,170 --> 00:16:48,640
and then it creates
this problem of communication.
411
00:16:48,670 --> 00:16:50,370
Tom: Thanks.
412
00:16:50,410 --> 00:16:52,410
Like, that's to me what the big
challenge is for men
413
00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:54,180
approaching
the feminine orgasm is,
414
00:16:54,210 --> 00:16:57,210
like, maybe your preconceptions
about what sex is
415
00:16:57,250 --> 00:17:00,520
and who you are
as a man isn't,
416
00:17:00,550 --> 00:17:02,050
maybe, necessarily correct.
417
00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:03,820
Really it's, like, well,
we're talking about
418
00:17:03,850 --> 00:17:06,550
dissolving your identity,
you know, your sexual identity,
419
00:17:06,590 --> 00:17:09,390
which to me is, like,
a huge part of who you are.
420
00:17:09,420 --> 00:17:12,030
That's terrifying.
421
00:17:15,300 --> 00:17:16,600
Karley: I really felt so honored
422
00:17:16,630 --> 00:17:18,330
to be able to sit in
on Cocktales
423
00:17:18,370 --> 00:17:21,440
and watch all these men
talk about female sexuality
424
00:17:21,470 --> 00:17:23,670
and their own pleasure
in this really vulnerable
425
00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:25,640
and sensitive way.
I really --
426
00:17:25,670 --> 00:17:28,580
It tugged on my heartstrings
in a way that I did not expect.
427
00:17:28,610 --> 00:17:34,380
I invite us to end like we have
some circles, if we can stand.
428
00:17:34,420 --> 00:17:37,520
All: Ha!
429
00:17:37,550 --> 00:17:40,420
Karley: I think that what these
men are really acknowledging
430
00:17:40,460 --> 00:17:42,220
is that the female orgasm
is complex,
431
00:17:42,260 --> 00:17:43,690
and it's also,
in a lot of ways,
432
00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:47,860
tied to the ego of the man
who's trying to fuel it,
433
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:52,570
and I just think
because of that,
434
00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:54,700
the idea of giving a woman
an orgasm on demand
435
00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:59,640
is a really intimidating
task to approach
436
00:17:59,670 --> 00:18:01,440
with both parties
that are involved,
437
00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:03,450
and because of that,
I think that it's gonna
438
00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:05,610
take a really specific
type of man
439
00:18:05,650 --> 00:18:09,380
to want to enter
into that exchange.
440
00:18:09,420 --> 00:18:11,720
How do you make a woman orgasm?
441
00:18:11,750 --> 00:18:13,220
Dr. M.: It's my job
442
00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:15,560
to unlock the mysteries
of each woman's body.
443
00:18:24,870 --> 00:18:29,900
**
444
00:18:29,940 --> 00:18:32,310
So I've been looking
far and wide,
445
00:18:32,340 --> 00:18:33,910
both online and in real life,
446
00:18:33,940 --> 00:18:36,810
for a guy who offers women
the service of a happy ending,
447
00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:39,150
and it's been
really hard to find.
448
00:18:39,180 --> 00:18:42,320
I've found men who offer
the service of companionship
449
00:18:42,350 --> 00:18:45,750
or, you know, sexological
bodywork or therapeutic massage,
450
00:18:45,790 --> 00:18:47,590
but it's been difficult
to find a guy who just says,
451
00:18:47,620 --> 00:18:49,920
"I offer women
an orgasm on demand."
452
00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:53,230
But finally, I got tipped off
to this one guy.
453
00:18:53,260 --> 00:18:55,700
He goes by the name Dr. M.,
454
00:18:55,730 --> 00:18:59,630
and his website is called
"Her Private Pleasures."
455
00:18:59,670 --> 00:19:01,470
He seems to be exactly
what I've been looking for.
456
00:19:01,500 --> 00:19:03,810
He offers a 1-hour service,
457
00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:07,510
which provides erotic touching
and then a happy ending,
458
00:19:07,540 --> 00:19:11,210
so he's literally coming over
to my apartment right now.
459
00:19:19,220 --> 00:19:22,420
Unfortunately, because we live
in sex-negative America,
460
00:19:22,460 --> 00:19:24,760
Dr. M. has chosen
to remain anonymous.
461
00:19:28,530 --> 00:19:30,530
Hey.
Nice to meet you.
462
00:19:30,570 --> 00:19:32,470
-Thanks.
-Come on in.
463
00:19:34,870 --> 00:19:38,670
So, Dr. M., what is
it exactly that you do?
464
00:19:38,710 --> 00:19:41,280
I use sensual touch
to give women pleasure.
465
00:19:41,310 --> 00:19:44,880
For the session,
you lie facedown.
466
00:19:44,910 --> 00:19:46,480
It's not tantra.
467
00:19:46,510 --> 00:19:48,480
There are no spiritual chants
or anything like that,
468
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:51,250
and there's no expectation
of reciprocation.
469
00:19:51,290 --> 00:19:52,490
Okay.
470
00:19:52,520 --> 00:19:54,820
You may experience
a single orgasm,
471
00:19:54,860 --> 00:20:00,230
multiple orgasms or more
nuanced waves of pleasure.
472
00:20:00,260 --> 00:20:03,330
What kind of women
seek out this service?
473
00:20:03,370 --> 00:20:06,430
Some women are
hard-working professionals.
474
00:20:06,470 --> 00:20:07,970
Some are young moms.
475
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:11,440
Some are involved
with clueless lovers.
476
00:20:11,470 --> 00:20:13,580
Some are
in sexless marriages,
477
00:20:13,610 --> 00:20:15,910
but don't want to have
the affair,
478
00:20:15,940 --> 00:20:20,250
and others, quite frankly,
are just horny.
479
00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:23,550
Should be fun.
480
00:20:23,590 --> 00:20:25,750
How do you make
a woman orgasm?
481
00:20:25,790 --> 00:20:27,890
All women are different.
482
00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:30,460
Some like a slow
and gentle touch,
483
00:20:30,490 --> 00:20:32,030
others faster and firmer.
484
00:20:32,060 --> 00:20:35,360
Some like internal
stimulation,
485
00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:36,960
others, external.
486
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:38,400
I go by body language.
487
00:20:38,430 --> 00:20:40,740
It tells me everything
I need to know.
488
00:20:40,770 --> 00:20:46,410
**
489
00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:48,640
-Yes.
490
00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:52,010
-Fully.
491
00:20:52,050 --> 00:20:57,720
**
492
00:20:57,750 --> 00:21:00,020
Karley: Well, here we go.
493
00:21:00,050 --> 00:21:10,030
**
494
00:21:10,060 --> 00:21:17,810
**
495
00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:20,640
Actually,
this guy is not bad.
496
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:30,020
**
497
00:21:30,050 --> 00:21:34,520
I can see this becoming
a regular occurrence
498
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:36,320
and becoming destructive
to the future
499
00:21:36,360 --> 00:21:39,060
of my romantic relationships.
500
00:21:39,090 --> 00:21:42,400
After searching high and low
and literally inside myself
501
00:21:42,430 --> 00:21:44,030
for a happy ending,
502
00:21:44,070 --> 00:21:47,600
it was clear that when a man
offers sexual services to women,
503
00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:50,940
it's often dressed up
as romance or therapy,
504
00:21:50,970 --> 00:21:52,710
but what I like about Dr. M.
505
00:21:52,740 --> 00:21:54,410
is that he's calling
it like it is,
506
00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:56,940
and that's the biggest
turn-on for me,
507
00:21:56,980 --> 00:21:58,910
even despite the fact
that he's randomly dressed
508
00:21:58,950 --> 00:22:01,550
like a white rapper.
509
00:22:01,580 --> 00:22:03,120
Maybe the current
market of women
510
00:22:03,150 --> 00:22:06,490
looking for transactional
sexual pleasure is niche,
511
00:22:06,520 --> 00:22:09,420
but the fact that these services
are becoming more popular
512
00:22:09,460 --> 00:22:11,460
makes me think that we're
headed toward a future
513
00:22:11,490 --> 00:22:15,360
where women will be free
to be just as desperate as men.
514
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:20,570
One small orgasm for a woman,
one giant leap for womankind.
515
00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:21,900
Rub you later, sluts.
38733
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