All language subtitles for Its.Not.You.Its.Me.2010.720p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

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IT'S NOT YOU

IT'S ME

-What's the score?
-1-0.

Dr. Herrera, have I told you yet
that you look great in scrubs?

As long as my face is covered,
anything looks great on me.

See how handsome Batman looks?

Amandita. Javier.
Let's get started already.

Magnifying glasses.

-Scalpel.
-Carlos.

Show me you trust me.

I've earned it. Let me operate.

Look at me.

Take a good look.

See this profile?

Now take a look at this one.

Can you see the
difference between them?

I've made up my mind, Javi.
I'm getting them done.

Honey, they're perfect.
You don't need any surgery.

I can't talk to you about
anything.

Carlos doesn't let me be
in charge of surgery.

I don't know when things will
get better.

I do everything I can,
but it's just not enough.

I need you to pitch in.

How?

I need your salary for
household expenses.

-Oh, no. No.
-Honey…

-No, no, no.
-It's temporary.

No, Javier. We have a deal.

The deal was that I would never
ask you
for money for my things.

Okay, okay, fine.
Let's pretend I didn't say
anything.

-All right? We're good.
-Javi, I don't like to argue
either.

Why don't we spend the afternoon
in
bed? I rented some cool DVDs.

-Oh, no, Javi, don't pick up.
-I'll be quick.

Hello?

What's going on, Martin?

-No…
-Hang up.

Yeah…

yeah.

Okay. Okay, bye.

He's going to kill her.

Martin's assistant got sick and…

-Go to hell, Javier.
-Honey, please try to
understand.

I'm his partner, I must help
him.

That's also part of our
livelihood.

You should have opened
your own office already

instead of putting up
with that nonsense.

You're an excellent surgeon,
Javi,

but you think small.
You know what you lack?

You lack…

Every time I close the door on
reality…

it comes in through the window.

Dr. Javier Herrera, alias,
Schopenhauer,
Fourth Region.

I mean it. We must hire
responsible assistants.

Otherwise I must choose between
this
and my relationship with Maria.

For real?

Okay, relax.

We have the best
equipment in the country

and after this show we're paying
off
our first loan.

So get into it.

See what I mean?

Tell you the truth, Javi,
you're not the same guy around
Maria.

Watch out!

Jeez, Javier, the whole thing
at the police station was
horrible!

You're lucky nobody died or was
injured,
otherwise you'd be in jail.

I can't be calling my dad at all
hours,
he's a senior citizen and he's
sick too.

-What about the equipment?
-We were yet to insure it.

-"Infinity" is over.
-And the van?

I'm giving Martin my part.

After this, he's out of a job.

Javi…

what if we move abroad now?

-Where, Maria?
-To Miami, love.

Remember that doctor
that came to the conference

who said you had a good chance
of working there?

Dr. Morris?

I don't have a work visa for the
U.S.

What?

…to Miami?

Listen, honey, I don't want you
to think
I'm marrying you

just to get the visa, okay?

-I love you.
-Oh, baby!

-I swear.
-I love you.

But we want to save our
relationship
and improve our situation,
right?

-Yeah.
-Then we have to get married.

Look, Javi, I thought I'd have
a white wedding too,

but it's all good.

Let's put my permanent resident
status to good use, okay?

Next! There are lots of couples
waiting!

-Yes, I'm sorry.
-This is not signed.

PETS

Watch out, watch out!

-Thank you.
-Let me help you.

It got up there and I can't
bring it down.

Careful, they give horrible
bites!

-Gosh, thank you.
-Sure.

-I couldn't have done it without
you.
-I'm great with wild animals.

-Are you?
-Ever heard of Tarzan?

Don't tell me you're Tarzan.

No, I'm not, but I am his long
lost son.

How can I help you?

I'm looking for a present for my
fiancée.

I've got the perfect girlfriend
and we're getting married.

But why come to a pet shop
to find her a present?

I don't know, I feel like giving
her
something… alive.

Anything in particular?

This one's Javier

and this one's Maria.

You're so corny.

Why did you buy them now
that we're leaving?

Look at them. Look closely,
okay?

Put it on.

Baby…

It'd been a while since we made
love
like this, Javi.

You're so corny.

I've talked to my aunt and uncle
and they welcome us.

I'm leaving first to see
about the legal proceedings,

and Javi comes later.

But you know Javier
must have his title validated

in order to work there, right?

-Yes, I already…
-You lived there ten years,
Maria.

You know it's not easy.
That's why you came back.

No, Mom. I came back
because I was done with the
gringos.

But you don't have to go to
Miami
to get ahead in your career.

You're a good cardiologist,
right?

I mean, a rose is a rose is a
rose.

-The most important thing to me…
-You don't even speak English.

I mean… sorry.

Mom, we're not moving to Boston,
we're moving to Miami.

Right, you can operate there in
Spanish.

I think it's worth a try.

And if it doesn't work out,
we'll come back. Nothing
ventured…

You won't lose your job here in
Mexico?

I'll ask for an unpaid leave of
absence
so I don't lose my position
here.

The decision is made, Dad.
Could you keep Maria and Javier
for us?

Mr. Horacio, would you like me
to take
Mr. Homero?

No, leave him here with me.

The most important thing to me
is that you know I really love
Maria,

that we want to have a family,
and--

and that's why
we're getting married tomorrow.

Tomorrow?

Bravo!

-Ah!
-Hey!

-Everybody, get together!
-Thank you.

Excuse me, you can't take
pictures.

-Excuse me?
-Authorized personnel only.

-I'm taking a picture of my son.
-I'll have to call the cops

-and they'll take your camera.
-It's okay, Dad. Come on.

Stop arguing and get in the
picture.

I won't be able to even smile
right.

Who was the guy you greeted
outside City Hall?

Oh, Dr. Jorge Rubio.

The "expert"?

He's been the family doctor
forever.
He's very charming.

Ready… for your wedding night?

How you doin'?

-Come here…
-Javi, I'm exhausted.

Honey, it's our first night
as husband and wife.

-Javi…
-Isn't it bad luck?

-Not at all.
-You sure?

Just hold me, okay?

Javi, I'm scared to death.

Me too.

But I love it as an adventure.

This is crazy! We barely got
married
and we're separating.

It's just for a week,
don't be so dramatic.

I promise as soon as I get
there, we'll go
to the Caribbean for our
honeymoon.

Dream on! We won't even have
enough money to eat.

We'll be living with my aunt
and uncle, like moochers.

Javi, what are you doing?

You're making things out
to be too depressing

and you make me feel guilty.

It's like I'm forcing you to do
something
you don't want to.

Let's call the whole thing off

and we'll figure things out
here,
whatever.

-Don't go to such extremes.
-I have to,

because I only want you to be
happy.

Here, there, anywhere.

I want you to be happy.

I am.

So put pedal to the metal, man,
'cause we'll be late!

Come on!

It went so well, like I wasn't
even
gone a day!

-They all came to pick me up.
-Is the apartment cool?

It's got an ocean view.

-So they're doing well.
-More than well!

Anyway, I saw Dr. Morris.
He remembered you right away.

I dropped off your resumé
and I have to call him tomorrow.

-Really?
-Yes!

-Oh, baby!
-Oh, Javi, we made it!

Everybody will help you here.
I'm so happy! I miss you!

-Me too, honey!
-I love you!

-I love you too!
-Kisses!

Kisses, kisses, kisses.

And why didn't you say
something, Javier?

Carlos, please.

It'd be only for six months,
unpaid.

The union will grant you three,
tops,

with my consent.

Come on in.

If they keep the apartment,
I'll give you back your deposit,

otherwise I won't.
It was very short notice.

Yeah, yeah, sure. Listen, guys,
this is a blessed apartment.

You can breathe pure love here.

-Oh, yeah…
-Particularly on that couch.

Come in, make yourselves at
home.

At last! How are you, honey?

Hi, baby. We went to a house
my uncle has in Palm Beach

-and there was barely any
signal.
-I'm turning in the apartment,

but I'm not sure about leaving
our couch with them.

-Why not?
-It's where we made love last.

-Remember?
-Can we cut the jokes?

Honey, I'm ecstatic
about seeing you soon.

I'm taking an evening flight on
Monday.

-You picking me up at the
airport?
-Yes…

-Don't let him eat anything
salty.
-What are you talking about?

He knows he must keep
a low-sodium diet, doesn't he?

-You can't talk?
-No…

-You know he'll never change.
-We can talk later, if you want.

Yes, sure. The weather is
amazing!

-Take care.
-Call me later.

Or we could go ahead
and just meet at the airport.

Okay? I love you.

...I love you.

You're crazy, Javi. How do you
think
you can take the fish with you?

-Too obvious?
-Not at all!

I'm telling you, it'll be too
much
for them and they'll die.

Come on, don't jinx it!

If they make it, fine, if they
don't…

You flush them down the toilet
on the plane.

That sounded terrible!

Pay no mind to this dumbass,
you'll make it to Miami with me.

It's my wife. Turn it down.

-Hello, Maria.
-Are you at the airport yet?

No, we're about 15 minutes away.

Javi, I've been doing a lot
of thinking these past few days…

Okay, baby, what have you
been thinking about?

Stuff. I'm not okay.

-Is it that time of the month?
-No.

-You sick?
-No.

-I'm… weird.
-What do mean "weird"?

You got your tongue pierced,
you shaved your head?

Javi, don't get mad,
but I don't want you to come.

Say what?

Things are… not working out
like we planned.

-Look, once I'm in Miami…
-I am not in Miami.

Where are you?

I'm still in Palm Beach…

with Jorge Rubio.

Did you sleep with the "expert"?

-What did I do to you?
-It's not you, it's me.

FOR BOOKING:
WWW.INFINITY.COM

What happened?

Mommy… Mommy…

Your mommy is not here.

Mommy?

What's wrong with you women?

Why can't I understand you?

Are you sure?

Javi… you know you don't bother
us
at all, quite the contrary.

Martin, I appreciate it, but…

right now I need the warmth of
home…

the smell of home-cooked food…

and for my parents to hug me
and tell me everything will be
okay.

I need them to take care of me.

Thank you.

You can leave now, if you want.

Chin up, man.

Javi?

-Javi? What are you doing here?
-Son, what happened? You lost
the
plane?

No.

We're running late.
We'll deal with things tomorrow.

If you're hungry, order a pizza,
baby.

And don't ring the bell,
because here we are!

We love you, baby!

-Bye-bye!
-Look! No hands!

I'll be damned.

What if we move abroad now?

-Where, Maria?
-To Miami, love.

…that we want to have a family,
and…

Take it easy, son.
Nothing is final in life.

And though it may look like it,
nobody has died.

Don't say such things!

Be careful, Son!

Enough talking about death!
Don't you see you're calling it?

Jeez, this room has bad juju!

Okay…

let's do some breathing
to relax and focus.

Here, put your hand on the solar
plexus.
And breathe, you know how…

-You too.
-Right.

Oh, no, no, no breathing
exercises.

-I can't breathe.
-Let's strap ourselves in

and figure things out.
This is a couple's problem.

What did you do to Maria?

What did I do to her?

I loved her.

And she told me, like a true
cynic,

"It's not you, it's me."

What good were all our plans,
Mom?

Why did we get married, then?

-Stop playing the victim!
-Don't talk to him that way!

Javi can't think clearly right
now.

-He's a bit crazy.
-Crazy?

He's screwed up.

Baby…

I'm gonna call my friend Indra,

so she can connect with you
at a soul level

and help you rebuild yourself.

Enough of that nonsense!

Javi doesn't need a "soul
doctor."

What he needs is a good shrink.

And I will pay for it!

Doctor, please explain it to me.

I mean, if there is an
explanation
to what I am going through.

Let's see…

Maria and I fell in love.

We moved in together and spent
three years like that.

She proposes the move to Miami
and gets the wedding organized
in a
flash.

She goes first, talks to Dr.
Morris,
who offers me a job…

Oh, baby! Baby!

In the meantime, I turn in the
apartment,
I sell my car,

-I get a leave of absence at
work…
-Pity.

…and on my way to the airport,
ring, my cell phone goes off.

It's Maria.

"Don't come anymore.
I'm with Jorge Rubio now."

Rubio?

-You mean, Dr. Rubio?
-Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, the so called 'doctor.'
And it's unreal!

Everything happened
in less than a week, doctor.

-Do you think she'll come back?
-I can't tell you that, Javier.

-And besides, that's not
important.
-It's the only important thing,
doctor.

Her absence is not what is
affecting you
so deeply, Javier,

but your own inability
to handle the situation.

-Is she coming back or not,
doctor?
-I'm not clairvoyant.

Okay, doc, you have
female patients, right?

You must know about women's
behavior,
you must have hormonal charts.

I mean, why do they want
something now,
and then they don't,

and then they want something
else
instead? Why do women do that,
Doc?

What are they connected to?

The kidney? The liver?
An ingrown toenail?

The eyebrows, and then they
lose their minds from all that
plucking?

Javier, we can't talk about
women
as a whole.

Every case is different.

The important thing is to find
out
what's happening to you.

-What's happening to me?
-Yeah.

But I've told you, Doctor!

The important thing is finding
out
what's happening to her.

You'd like me to tell you
that Maria is in a hormonal
cycle,

that will last an entire lunar
cycle,

and that as soon as it's over
she'll come back to you.

But I can't tell you that.

-Why not?
-Because you're no longer macho.

-I am willing to forgive her,
Doctor.
-But does she want to be
forgiven?

I don't know… how can I know?

That's why I'm here, so…

Why did she sleep with him?

Because she felt a tingle
between her legs.

Don't tell me that, Doctor.
Please don't.

I'm so sorry.

Chin up.

I was expecting you.

You know you'll always have
a place here.

I'm extremely sorry. For real,
Javi.

How did you find out?

Your mom called.

Dr. Vértiz, we're ready.

-Thank you.
-Dr. Herrera, I'm very sorry.

-Are you okay?
-Yeah…

It's nothing I can't handle,
don't worry.

Get ready.

I just don't understand Maria.
She tells me,

"Come," and the next day it's,
"Don't come anymore."

Besides, she says,
"It's not you, it's me."

The most coward line of them
all.
They never say, "Yes, it's you."

Right? That way I know it's me.
So if I know it's me, it's over.

I'm sure she's waiting for my
call.

I don't even have her number.
I don't know where she is, even.

-Javier…
-But you ladies, since you're
women,

if you were Maria,
what would you be thinking?

Maybe it's a test and she wants
to see how important she is to
me.

Women are totally like that,
right?

-Enough, Javier!
-Not all of them.

I don't know, you're just a
mystery.
And whoever disagrees…

-Javier, enough, please!
-What did you do?

-Sorry, sorry, sorry!
-Get out of here!

You better take a break.

And stop spilling out your
misery,
because you're splashing us all
with it!

What are you going to do?
We don't have "Infinity" anymore
either.

You think you'll get sued?

What if they take away
your medical license, Javi?

What will you do for a living
then?

What about Maria?

Has she called here?

-Oh…
-No, Javi.

-What would you guys do?
-I'd jump out of the window!

Please don't give him any ideas,
Laura.

Laura, you're a woman.

Tell me, please, what women are
like.

How were things between you?

-Laura…
-Fine.

As well as things can be
with a woman, right?

-Watch it! I'm a woman too!
-Yes, sorry.

Maria took all her things with
her?

-The bare minimum.
-Did she take her shoes?

No… No, just the pair
she was wearing.

Then I don't think she's made up
her mind yet.

-Why do you say that?
-Maria is very smart.

She won't fall for that guy,
Javi.

She's just horny, that's all.

That's all! But if she's just
horny,
why did she come clean?

Would you rather she'd kept it a
secret?

What if I go to Miami
and get her pregnant?

-So?
-Still no word from Maria.

I was talking about my blood
pressure.

A hundred-140, within the normal
range,
Mr. Horacio.

-You're very kind.
-That's all right.

And you don't deserve
what my daughter is doing to
you.

We called her yesterday to try
and understand, but…

You called her? Where?

No, we did not call her. She
called us.

-She leave a number?
-Yes, Estela has it.

No, no, I don't have it.
I didn't call her.

But you told me you wanted
to call her!

It's a figure of speech.
I felt like talking to her,
Horacio.

Estela, please, we're all grown
ups
here, right?

We know she's at the beach
with that friend of yours,

-that Jorge Rubio guy.
-She's with Jorge Rubio?

I don't know, she only told me
she might go away for a few
days.

But with Jorge? She
and Jorge Rubio alone?

Calm down--

-I'll kill that son of a…
-No, I will!

-Calm down, don't agitate
yourself.
-You knew it!

-You shut up, Javier!
-How is this possible?

-I'll go check the address book.
-No! It's not there!

-I know you!
-I said it's not there!

-What do you mean, it's not?
-Horacio, please,

just calm down. I said
it's not there, please!

I put it somewhere else,
don't you remember?

-Give it here!
-Man, are you stubborn!

Let me see!

-Calm down! Please calm down!
-No, I can't!

Calm down, please!

This doesn't look good… Mr.
Horacio!

Mr. Horacio! Be careful!
Help me hold him!

He's having trouble breathing!
Please undo his belt.

-I visited Maria's parents.
-Did you?

Mr. Horacio didn't know.

He ended up in hospital
when he found out.

-What happened to him?
-I better tell you in person.

What are you guys doing tonight?

Gee, Javier, it's just that…

-tonight…
-No.

Today's our wedding anniversary,
so…

-Well…
-Hold on, I gotta go.

There's another call coming in.
It could be Maria.

Bye.

He's not coming…

-He is not coming!
-No, he isn't! He's not coming!

Come on, now! Hey!
It's not that big a deal anyway.

Mr. Horacio almost had a heart
attack.

This just isn't possible.
Maria's horniness will kill us
all!

Excuse me, Javi, but…

Laura and I want to be alone.

No, right, I was just leaving.

I just have a quick question,
Laura, you're a woman.

If Maria calls me, how do I
answer?

-You set boundaries.
-But no pressure. Be funny.

Put the pressure on her. Have no
mercy.

No. Be tender, but not overly
sweet.

-Let her feel that you miss her.
-But don't be desperate.

-Mm-hmm.
-Be sweet and show some
interest.

No, be firm and uninterested.
Make it difficult to talk to
you.

But don't let her feel
that she's lost you.

Let her think you're dating
again.

I think it's time you started
dating other girls.

We'll have a dinner party next
weekend
so you can meet some of Laura's
friends.

You guys talked to Maria,
haven't you?
You guys know something I don't.

Why do you want me to meet
Laura's friends?

-You know Maria's not coming
back,
right? -Hold on, hold on, hold
on.

We don't know anything,
nor have we talked to anybody.

Of course you know!

I can't believe…

You pair of traitors!

Congratulations.

MOVIE THEATER

Watch it, moron!

Watch your dog!

Welcome.

Hey!

Excuse me, is there a single
line
to all the movies?

-Kinda obvious, isn't it?
-Hey!

-Aren't you Tarzan's long lost
son?
-I'm your mama's long lost son.

-Good evening.
-Theater 1.

No, not two.

-One.
-Just one?

Yes. Just one. Why are you
surprised?

You've never sold just one
ticket
to a person?

-I was just asking…
-No, you asked "Just one?"

The "just" is unnecessary.
It's like you're asking if I'm
on my own,

without a wife, girlfriend,
friends,
acquaintances, and that's not
the case.

I can go to the movies alone,
or to have dinner or do
anything.

I'm not like other cowards who
have to
use a book to hide their
loneliness.

I come to the movies alone
because I feel like it.

And I'm extremely happy.
Extremely.
Are we clear?

-Yes.
-All right.

Now you won't ask that stupid
"Just one?" question again.

Stupid.

Welcome.

-Good evening.
-Just one, please.

Wow, Maria!

You're so happy, you haven't
even
realized Javier is dead.

Hello?

It's me. How are you?

Great.

I'm calling you and I don't want
to fight.

Look, Maria, I had a million
strategies
for this very moment,

but the only thing I can say now
is that I miss you very much.

I love you, baby. I love you.
I love you a lot,

-like I never thought I could.
-Javi…

Maria?

Maria, are you there? Hello?

I was calling to apologize.

Of course I forgive you, baby.
Of course I forgive you!

How could I not?

Everything will be fine between
us,
I promise.

It's no big deal that you don't
like us
to sleep holding each other,

-or that you sleep till noon…
-Javi…

-Javier… I'm not coming back.
-I can go over there if you
want.

Even though you may not believe
me,
I swear I understand you.

-I could forgive you and…
-It's not that.

I could swallow my pride,
so we can start over,

-like we had planned…
-Please.

Remember?

I'll send for my things, Javier.

You were so eager to leave,
you didn't take anything with
you.

How could I miss it?

It was so obvious you were
leaving me…

The whole thing started with you
talking
about a boob job…

and the new clothes you wanted
to buy…

-Please, Javier…
-How could I miss it? It was
obvious!

And all because of that old…

fart.

-This isn't happening.
-It was…

It was crystal clear.

This is not over because of
Jorge.

Why don't you try to figure out
what came between us?

What came between us?

Jorge came between us!

Who is it?

Doctor, it's me, Javier.

I'm sorry I came to your house
and I know it's Sunday,

but I really need to talk to
you.

Maria called me last night, at
last,
to apologize.

I had come up with a thousand
strategies
for that very moment,

but I could only tell her
that I missed her,

that I loved her and forgave
her,
that we could start over

and I was willing to swallow my
pride
if she came back.

But she told me…
she wouldn't, and to forget her.

That she would send for her
things.

So I got angry, doctor,
I mean, it's only logical.

I need you to help me understand

if it was her, or me,

or Jorge that came between us,
doctor.

The doctor went to the riding
club.

Dang…

Would you like Jorge Edmundo

to be baptized into the church
as professed?

-Yes, we do.
-Doctor, I'm sorry I had to
come.

-Javier, not right now.
-Yes, right now, Doctor.

-I'm not right in the head,
okay?
-…and of the Son…

Maria called me to apologize
and to tell me to forget her.

-Tell me, doctor, is it her?
-…and of the Holy Spirit…

-Or is it me?
-Javier, please! Give me three
minutes.

-Go wait over there.
-Sorry.

Take deep breaths and drink
three tequilas in a row,
non-stop.

-Amen.
-Sorry.

I'm sorry. Sorry.

Peace be with you.

He's a patient, what
do you want me to do?

It's so tough…

so impossibly complicated
to think I can get over it.

I'm trying but I don't see how.

What are you going to do?

Because she clearly said
she's not coming back.

Yeah, I know, I know…

That's why I came looking for
you.

Because if Maria wanted us
to get back together,

I'd be at home watching TV with
her,

which is cheaper than your fee.

Hey… this doesn't count, right?

Please don't charge me.

What would you do in my place?

I'd close my universe to Maria.

Sure. Easier said than done.

Talk is cheap

when you know your wife
is waiting for you at home.

And then, the weekend comes,

and you can go to the movies
with someone.

-Hold on, now.
-I can only think of her…

Why me?

It's like this vision I get
over and over again.

Enough with the pity party!

I don't know how to go
on living anymore…

I do. Why don't you kill
yourself?

Don't go, Doctor, please don't
go…

I can see hope in your eyes,

like you were eager to grow up.

You had so many dreams,
and look at me now.

I disappointed you.

You gave me the best of you,

and I turned you into… into
this.

-Hello?
-Javier, where are you?

I've been looking for you
for two days now.

You have five minutes to talk?

Would we get back together?
I don't think so.

She's someone incapable
of saying "Thank you,"

or "I'm sorry," or…

not even… "Watch out for the
car!"

I know I must stop thinking
about Maria.

Actually, I've stopped thinking
about her.

-Do I miss her? Yes, sure, a
lot.

What are you doing tonight?

I don't know whether to slit my
wrists
or leave them be.

You have to start thinking
about sex again.

Sure, I have to go out, meet
girls,

have a roll in the hay,
because you really know women in
bed.

Pity that once they meet me
there,
they take off running.

We won't leave you watching
documentaries another Sunday.

Meatball!

Meatball! Sorry. Hi.

-Thanks for catching him.
-No problem.

She looks like him. What's her
name?

-Muffin.
-I know a cool place nearby.

-Let me buy you a cup of coffee.
-Coffee? Sure.

And don't ever give them a
receipt
or an invoice, okay?

Now go help the gentleman.

How can I help you?

Yeah, remember me? I bought
those fish?

Oh, yeah, I remember you.
How can I help you?

I want a puppy.

How do you like this one?

Put it away! Put it away! Put it
away!

He's just a puppy… Tarzan.

I'm sorry. A dog just like him
bit me when I was little.

Don't you have another brand,
er, breed?

Wait here.

"Wait here."

How can we help you?

I'm looking for a puppy.

What breed?

I don't know much about dogs,
but I'd like a pretty one,

that doesn't get too big.
I don't have the space for it.

Give me a second.

-No, Dad!
-Let go!

-Dad, no!
-I said let go!

-Look at this one!
-You meanie!

She will be your life companion.

-Is it a female?
-Mm-hmm.

-Is she mean?
-No! She's a little doll!

I've had orders for these dogs
from Canada, Germany.

But if you don't want her…

Hold on, let's see…

She won't get very big, will
she?

No, she doesn't get very, very
big.

You'll be able to take her
with you everywhere.

-Do you think she's cute?
-Yes, of course.

-Although…
-I'll say it again.

These dogs are very sought
after,
they're in fashion.

Let me give you a tip,
the ladies love them.

-Okay, I'll take her.
-Very well. Great purchase!

The dog has all her shots.

I guess you'd also like to buy…

-…a collar, teething bones…
-Yeah.

-…a leash, a few toys…
-Yeah.

-…a dish, and treats.
-Yeah.

-Why do you treat me like I'm
toxic
waste? -Who, me? I don't.

I treat you like my Mama's long
lost son.

-That was you?
-Yeah.

I apologize, it's just that…

I was having a rough night and…

It's 775.12 dollars.

Her ID tag is on the house.

Okay.

Hey, that's a cool dog!
May I play with it?

No.

-Look at that. Hi!
-I don't believe it!

I'd like one for the apartment.
Do they get very big?

-The usual.
-Is it a boy?

-You're so cute!
-No, it's a girl.

-It's a girl. How pretty!
-Yeah, yeah…

I'll go get our coffees,
I'll be right back.

-So, yeah…
-Yes, sir.

-Your dog is beautiful.
-Yes, I think she needs to pee.

What's that? Where did you come
from?

You don't buy a dog to pick up
women.

In the end, the dogs do
all the picking up.

Right? You're blocked.

-No, Mom…
-You're too closed in here.

You must open your chakras
so you can attract things.

I'm opening the chakras…

and reopening little black
books.

Claudia? Hi, it's Javier
Herrera,
from Pan American High.

Five children?

I'll swing by one of these days.
I think my battery is running
out…

Yes or no? No.

This is a good one.

I didn't give you that nickname,
Rosie.
Why would I call you "Pinky,"
Rosie?

Sorry, is Liliana in?

And they never caught the
driver?

Gabi Rincón. Of course!
Gabi Rincón.

Gabi, it's so nice to hear your
voice!
It's Javier Herrera, from high
school.

Why don't we go for a drink or
to dinner?

Bye.

I'm having dinner with Gabi
Rincón!
I'm having dinner with Gabi
Rincón!

Esperanza, who told you
your daughter died?

-Who is it?
-It's me, Javier.

Wow, man! What got into you?

I'm going to dinner with Gabi
Rincón.

What do you think? Too much?

-You look really nice, Javi.
-You're back in business, huh?

I'll be on my way, then.
I just came for the approval.

-Tell you about it later.
-Congrats!

Did he go to a salon?

-Don't you remember?
-You used to love those, right?

-I still love them.
-There you go.

-Cheers.
-Cheers!

Do you still see anybody
from high school?

I see Juanjo, and Tacha "The
Yeyis."

You see her? Wow.

-Man, we had fun!
-Tons!

It was a wonderfully
irresponsible time.

-And I'm ready to go back, okay?
-So I see!

I have such good memories
of that time, especially about
you.

Wow… don't say it like that!

Hey, remember when we were
dating?

-Of course!
-I walked you home every day.

-Remember that?
-Of course I do!

I have tons of pictures of that
time.

Remember, we used to play, like,
"Watch out! Here it comes!"

"Close your eyes!
Watch out for the car!"

You remember this too?

Javier, hold on! What are you
doing?

You misunderstood me.

I didn't. You stuck your tongue
in my ear.

Did I?

I didn't mean it like that,
it was just to jog your memory.

I gotta go.

-No, Gabi…
-Yes. Bye.

Hey, Gabi, no… I mean, Gabi…

We used to fool around like
that.

Gabi, Gabi!

Gabi, forgive me. I still like
you a lot.

Yeah, don't worry. It doesn't
matter.

No, Gabi, listen…
Gabi, listen to me, please.

Why don't we try again?

There's still chemistry between
us,
we have a similar sense of
humor.

-I don't even know why we broke
up.
-Hi, honey.

-Hi!
-How did it go?

Just fine. This is my fiancé.

This is Javi.

This is an invitation to our
wedding.

It's nice to meet you.

Bye.

RESTAURANT "HOUSE OF FILETS"
PRESENTS HEBERT CLAVEL

6 MONTHS LATER

Wait up, Pimpón!

How fabulous! Is she yours?

Yes, she is.

This is Newton, and I'm Lola.

-This is Pimpón and I'm Javier.
-Nice to meet you.

In Spain we kiss twice.

PETS - FISH

I'm a cardiac surgeon,
you know, for the heart.

-If you fall in love, I can
treat you.
-Now that's an indecent
proposal!

-Your ex's name was Newton?
-Yeah!

-Pimpón is named after your ex
too?
-No!

You wanna dance? Come on!

What are you doing?
I can't dance with you!

-Why not?
-'Cause you can't dance!

No, you're doing something else!

-Bartender!
-Bartender! Bring us a bar!

In Mexico we call for the
waiter.

Give me your phone number.

-On your ass.
-Pardon?

-I'll write it on your ass.
-No, not there! No!

Let me see it!

Cheers! Cheers!

-And we cross them…
-Let's cross everything.

-Did you like it?
-What?

Did you like how we made love?

Look, man, we didn't make love.
We only got laid.

-Still, did you have a good
time?
-Sure, that's why I did it.

You're not very effusive, are
you?

-You want to know if I finished.
-If you what?

-If I finished.
-Oh.

Of course I did.

-Me too.
-I noticed.

So what did you think would
happen
when we met at the park?

I thought we would…

I love your place.

Well, Javier, it's been very
nice
meeting you,

but I have a gig in a few hours.

You what?

I'm going to work, to make a
living.

Me too.

-I want to sleep.
-Let's sleep.

Alone, man. Alone.

Pimpón, let's go.

Hi, this is Lola.
Please leave a message. Bye.

Hi, Lola. It's Javier.

I was just calling to tell you
I had a great time last night.

Call me when you can.

My cell number is 55-56-80

37-2…

Hi, this is Lola.
Please leave a message. Bye.

55-56-80-37-29.

Sorry to leave so many messages.

Okay.

I'd love it if we went somewhere
over the weekend. Okay?

Call me if you want.

Oh, remember you have
to first dial 044…

Hi, this is Lola.
Please leave a message. Bye.

I don't know if I told you this,
but…

I just came out of a very long
relationship,

which may explain why I'm acting
a bit weird, right?

It's my own thing, you know?

It's nothing to do with…

Hi, this is Lola.
Please leave a message. Bye.

Me again.

It's just that after a few
months,
you're the first woman I've…

-Javier?
-Lola?

What's wrong with you, man?

Did you just get in
or were you screening my calls?

You're so annoying, you make me
weary.

The devil himself
would kick you out of hell!

No, no. Just let me explain,
Lola.

You hear with your ears
but understand with your ass.

Don't ever call me again, okay?
Bye!

It just seems like I'm destined
to fail.

That wasn't the case before.
I can't go on like this, doctor.

-Ever since I lost Maria…
-You don't lose…

what is not yours, Javier.

I don't know anymore, doctor.
I need a formula, a pill,

meditation, a cleanse, whatever.

If I keep on being unable
to meet women…

I'll end up ruining…

Enough!

There are no magical solutions
here.

The impunity of being dumped is
over.

It's no use being a slave to…

to a memory.

I mean, what's a memory?

Is it something a person has...

or something they lost?

Love… and obsession

are two very different things,

but sometimes they manage to
trick us.

So please…

please, Javier,

please stop whining about Maria
and women.

Send her to hell!

Love, could you please stop
yelling?

Et tu, Eugenia? Eugenia!

You go to hell too!

He almost hit his wife
with a bust of Hippocrates!

Maybe the guy has marital
problems too.

-But he's a professional, a
psychiatrist.
-So? You're a cardiac surgeon.

You cut into a patient's chest
without anesthesia.

-I left you messages.
-I was putting this together.

I'm not lucky enough to live
with mom and dad.

Why don't you find a job doing
whatever?

You think the world is a party
you weren't invited to.

I hope nobody ever does to you
what Maria did to me.

Javier, please!

That was six months ago.
It's ancient history!

Lots of things happened to me
lately,
you have no idea.

-Okay, tell me about it.
-No, not here.

-Let's go have a drink.
-I can't, I'm working.

-Let's get dinner, then.
-I'll be exhausted.

You've changed so much.

Listen, I have a wife and a
daughter
I don't see all day.

What do you want me to do?
Go play Atari at your parents'?

Atari! Nowadays it's Wii, or
Xbox.

Nobody can ease your pain,
not me, not anybody else.

If you stopped feeling so sorry
for yourself,

if you weren't so into wallowing
in your own misery…

Come on, Javier! Grow up!
Get a job, please!

Good morning.

How do you do? I'm Dr. Herrera.

Javier, how are you? Have a
seat.

Have we met?

Yes, indeed.

You're here for the surgeon
position, right?

Yes. Yes, I've been doing it
for a very long time and…

You have no idea who I am, do
you?

Are you from the university?

We met when I was eight inches
shorter
and 40 lbs. overweight.

"Cue ball"?

No.

I don't believe it!

-Was I that ugly?
-No, no, no, no, no.

-You look awesome, Cue…
-Veronica.

Veronica, that's right.

-Sorry, I forgot your name.
-You never knew it.

Okay, to business.

Right. I spent four years
as a general surgeon,

and then another four
as a cardiac surgeon, so…

So you trained for something
much better

than putting tit, ass,
and cheek implants in.

-I had some disagreements with
my
boss… -Something about
anesthesia,

-There was a problem…
-Did they pull your medical
license?

The hospital covered for me.

I hope it comes through for you,
Son.

Yes, Mom.

Come here!

-I'm sorry, Mom.
-It's okay, I don't mind.

But I do mind that they ripped
you off
at the pet store.

Hello!

Be careful! Let's see…

I got it, I got it… There we go.

Thank you. Again.

That's why I'm Aquaman's long
lost son.

-What's going on here?
-The person I wanted to see.

I wanted to have a word with
you.
I'm really upset.

-Why?
-Because I came looking for a
tiny dog

that didn't grow too much,
and look what happened!

That's awesome! What did you
feed her?

No, excuse me. This is not a
dog.
It's an unruly buffalo,

-like all women.
-Pimpón is pregnant.

Say what? No, it's…

-She is.
-Yes, she is.

Newton.

What am I gonna do with the
puppies?
I can't keep them at my
parents'.

You live with your parents?

Well, I'll gladly take her off
your hands.

People will snatch up the
puppies.

-You'll sell them?
-Yes, sir.

This is a pet shop.

No, it's okay. I'm on it.

I'll keep Pimpón and her
puppies. Thanks.

Bring her in for checkups.
Congratulations!

Call me if you have any
problems.

Thanks.

Bye.

Thanks a lot.

-Thanks for everything.
-See you Monday.

Bye.

-You won't escape me!
-Oh, no!

Javi! You're smiling!

No, no, no.
No, it doesn't have to be that
way.

We weren't expecting you this
early, Son!

We won't be very late. See you
tomorrow!

Okay.

-If you're hungry, order a
pizza, honey.
-Have fun! Don't come home
early!

-Sex, yes, drinking, no!
-Listen to him!

We love you, baby!

Bye.

To men!

-No way!
-No way!

-I mean as bastards. Right,
sister?
-Cheers!

Look, they don't even know how
to drink!

Within half an hour, they'll
either be
crying or throwing up. Wanna
bet?

Do you think God meant to create
women this way…

or was it another
one of His "little mistakes"?

-"Little"?
-Carlitos!

What is it, Pimpón?

Pimpón!

What's going on, baby?
What is it, honey? It's time?

-Hello?
-Julia?

-Yeah?
-Hi, it's me, Javier.

I apologize for the hour,
but I have a problem.

-Oh, hi! Did she give birth?
-No, that's why I'm calling you.

Don't worry. The dog will do
everything herself.

You just keep her company,

give her encouragement,
and show her love.

-What's wrong, Pimpón?
-Okay, relax!

What happened? Is she done?

Everything was going great,
but the last puppy is stuck!

Could you please come over? I
need you!

Okay, I'm on my way.

Thanks a lot!

Have fun, miss.

-Thanks so much for coming.
-Where is she?

There. It's all over.

It's a little girl.

-Are those your pajamas?
-Yeah.

Listen, for real…

thank you. Thank you
so much for coming.

Thank you.

And your fish?

-Where's the other one?
-It died.

-No!
-I'll be first!

Let me introduce you.
Please don't be scared, okay?
Come.

No, no, no, it's not…

They're born!

Congratulations! How nice!

-This is Julia.
-Charmed.

-Oh, honey!
-Congratulations!

-Look at Pimpón!
-You're beautiful!

-Congratulations, Pimpón!
-They're so cute!

-Let's see…
-Oh, this one's a poet!

We'll call him Gibran Khalil.

No, Netzahualcoyotl!

-This one will be Himalaya.
-Oh, no!

-Yes!
-Popocatepetl!

Thanks a lot. For everything.

I gotta go.

-Good night.
-Good morning!

Yeah.

It was worth it!
I felt my Kundalini rising…

-That's great, honey!
-Good, you're here.

I need to talk to you guys.

-Sure, Javi.
-Hi, Dad.

Sit down, please. Hi, Mom.

Mom, Dad,

let me start by thanking you
for everything you've done for
me lately.

But it's time I moved out.

Why, Javi?

Because I must get on with my
life, Mom.

Georgis, he is right.

-You're worth it, son.
-Thanks.

Is Julia part of your plans?

Yeah… but she doesn't know it
yet.

But you already know her
Achilles' heel?

She's very clumsy.

Let me, let me do it.

Hi.

-Hello.
-Thanks so much.

If I asked you out to dinner…
would you go?

Hello.

This is my son.

We could do this another time,
if you want.

No, no, what are you saying? Not
at all.

Please sit. You sit over here,
honey.

There.

For me?

Thank you.

So, what's your name?

Pedro.

Pedro.

I'm Javier.

How old are you?

I'm…

Hey… have you seen the little
worms?

Check it out.

And then…

Excuse me. I'll be right back.

-You divorced?
-No. My husband is picking us
up.

I'm a single mom.

Tell me about you.

I'm a cardiac surgeon.

I don't do that right now, but…

I've received an offer to return
at the National Institute of
Cardiology.

And you're taking it, of course.

I don't know, I'm still
considering it.

What does your wife say?

Look, I'm still married.

But I don't have a wife anymore.

Actually, everything ended
the day after the wedding.

There was… trouble.

And I'd better not ask about it.

Let's save it for our next date.

What do you say?

Thanks for dinner.

-Need help bringing him up?
-No, it's okay.

-You sure?
-Yeah.

So…

see you tomorrow?

Yes, at 8:30 I'll be waiting.

Okay.

All right. Bye.

I'll close it.

-Hi. Come on in.
-Hello.

Come in, come in.

-I got you this.
-Thank you!

And this is for Pedrito.

Come on over here.

-Let me put this away…
-Careful! Careful!

-I'll open the wine, if you
want.
-Thank you.

I'll help you.

-The corkscrew is over there.
-Okay.

Everything's ready.

Okay.

-So where's Pedrito?
-He's with my cousin.

Where are your wine glasses?

Would you believe I broke them
all?

Let me give you a hand.
You'll burn yourself.

Here we go.

-Help yourself.
-Thanks.

You want some?

-This is amazing.
-No way!

-I swear!
-You put a pacemaker in.

-He does it himself.
-And you like that?

I'm sorry.

-Oh, I forgot dessert!
-No, I should have brought
something.

Let me go get it.

-Yeah?
-You make coffee.

-Don't worry, I'll be right
back.
-You sure?

Won't be a second.

Coming!

Hi. Find anything?

Well, not much…

-Yeah?
-Just this.

Look at this terrace! It's fit
for Pimpón
and all her babies!

And look at that view!

You can even see the Angel!

Wow.

Cool, huh?

And look at this. Surely, you'll
enjoy it.

I'm happy to just look at it.

-Hello, hello…
-What's up?

Wow.

-What do you think?
-It's fantastic!

-Cheers!
-Cheers!

How are you?

Thanks for making the hors
d'oeuvres,
I appreciate it.

-I'm stealing one.
-Can I get a drink, please?

I saw you what you did there!

Be careful with her!

I want a drink!

-I'll be right back.
-No, listen…

-I want a drink.
-Where are the drinks?

-I love that!
-Yeah.

-Julia is here.
-Okay.

-Hi.
-Hi.

-Here.
-For me?

Yeah.

It's beautiful.
Time for some introductions.

-My parents are over there.
-Hello.

Welcome!

Let me introduce you
to my best friend, Martin.

-Hi.
-His wife, Laura.

-This is Julia.
-I'm Julia. How are you?

They're Dr. Carlos Vértiz,
Amandita, and Dr. Del Villar.

Pleasure.

Dr. Edmundo, this is Julia.

-Wow! She's a doll!
-Isn't she?

Excuse us.

Come, let me show you the
terrace.

You know when I realized
how much I liked you?

No…

When we went out to dinner
and you went to the restroom.

It felt like a lifetime!

I wanted you to be back quickly.

I missed you a lot in that time.

Excuse me.

Maria?

I need to talk to you. You got a
minute?

-Yes, no worries.
-Are you alone?

Yes.

My dad had another heart attack.
He's at the Cardiac Unit.

I'll be right there.

I appreciate it. Sorry to bother
you.
I get in tomorrow at 11:00.

-I'll pick you up. Sure.
-Yeah?

-It'll be great to see you.
Kisses.
-Bye.

Oh, look at that.

Well, it's okay. Let's get this
one, then.

Dr. Vértiz, is your patient
ready?

He's your patient, Dr. Herrera.

You do the surgery.

-Magnifying glasses.
-You sure?

Scalpel.

Magnifying glasses.

Javier…

-run the protocol.
-Anesthesia is in.

Extraction.

Separator.

Clamp.

Congratulations, everyone!

And especially to you, Dr.
Herrera.

-It was a great surgery.
-Thanks, Carlos.

Thank you.

Dad…

Thank you, Javier.

Here.

I wrote it about two months ago,
but didn't dare send it.

Wow.

Read it on your own.

Look at this.

Oh, thanks.

I'll come get you tomorrow,
okay?

Don't go just yet.

-Stay.
-But…

-I have to go.
-Tell me stuff.

I've been living on my own
for three days now.

I have a dog, who had puppies.

And the fish?

Javier died.

I feel like it's been only an
hour
since we last saw each other.

And to me it's like…

a lifetime.

I gotta go.

No, no, please don't leave me
alone.

I don't want to be alone.

Stay with me, okay?

Maria… I can't.

I'm not ready.

I'm sorry. Give me time.

"Javi,

I want you to know I'm yours
and yours only."

"Forgive me."

"I can understand if you hate
me,

but let me assure you my affair
with Jorge Rubio

only helped me appreciate
and love you even more."

"I hope you still have in your
heart

some of that pure and true love
you felt for me."

"You were the greatest gift
life had given me."

"I'm willing to fight to get you
back."

"Remember the dreams we used to
have? We must not lose them,
baby."

"You're the one."

"I hope it's not too late."

"I love you with all my heart."

"Maria."

It's not you. It's me.

What happened?

Nothing that changes things
between us.

What about your perfect
girlfriend?

She's right here.

Okay, go to bed!

Everybody to bed after brushing
our teeth.

To bed with you!