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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:06,167 --> 00:00:09,333 -[upbeat music] -[camera clicking] 3 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 4 00:00:09,467 --> 00:00:11,133 [whistle blowing] 5 00:00:11,267 --> 00:00:14,100 [camera clicking] 6 00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:16,900 [Man] For God's sake, Nick. That's it! 7 00:00:18,167 --> 00:00:21,000 [camera clicking] 8 00:00:22,167 --> 00:00:25,600 Can't believe what I'm bloody seeing here! 9 00:00:27,600 --> 00:00:29,167 [camera clicking] 10 00:00:29,300 --> 00:00:33,100 -Get up, Captain Ignus! -Hey, no way! 11 00:00:33,233 --> 00:00:34,333 Come on! 12 00:00:34,467 --> 00:00:36,367 Cut that football from there, man! 13 00:00:36,500 --> 00:00:37,667 [camera clicking] 14 00:00:37,800 --> 00:00:40,300 * Show me a woman that's got a good man * 15 00:00:40,433 --> 00:00:43,733 * And I'll show you a woman doing all she can * 16 00:00:43,867 --> 00:00:47,633 * To make life worth living for her good man * 17 00:00:47,767 --> 00:00:48,867 [Man] Did you see that one? 18 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:50,567 No, how come you see everything else 19 00:00:50,700 --> 00:00:51,500 -except us? -All right, all right, 20 00:00:51,633 --> 00:00:53,200 all right, come on! 21 00:00:55,367 --> 00:00:56,600 The first game of the season 22 00:00:56,733 --> 00:00:59,100 saw the worst miss of the season. 23 00:00:59,233 --> 00:01:01,067 What was the excuse, Nick? 24 00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:02,533 It bobbled. 25 00:01:02,667 --> 00:01:07,567 -[typewriter clacking] -[men chattering] 26 00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:17,800 How did you miss it? 27 00:01:17,933 --> 00:01:18,633 It bobbled. 28 00:01:18,767 --> 00:01:19,833 You blind get! 29 00:01:19,967 --> 00:01:21,267 Stevie Wonder could have put it in! 30 00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:22,867 [Nick] Stevie wonder's refereeing. 31 00:01:23,067 --> 00:01:24,500 You stupid prick! 32 00:01:24,633 --> 00:01:25,700 It bobbled! 33 00:01:25,833 --> 00:01:26,600 Two yards out! 34 00:01:26,733 --> 00:01:27,867 It bobbled! 35 00:01:28,067 --> 00:01:29,367 Look, you can drop me if you like but it bobbled! 36 00:01:29,500 --> 00:01:31,767 I'll drop you from a dirty great height, you stupid prick! 37 00:01:31,900 --> 00:01:33,767 -It bobbled! -What did it do, Nick? 38 00:01:33,900 --> 00:01:34,833 It bobbled! 39 00:01:34,967 --> 00:01:36,067 [team laughing] 40 00:01:36,167 --> 00:01:37,067 Piss off. 41 00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:40,967 [men chattering] 42 00:01:41,867 --> 00:01:43,667 Pass me the shampoo, Tony, yeah? 43 00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:45,067 You passed me nothing all day. 44 00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:47,167 What, just give me the shampoo! 45 00:01:47,300 --> 00:01:48,533 No. 46 00:01:48,667 --> 00:01:50,167 You want the shampoo, Sammy? 47 00:01:50,300 --> 00:01:51,133 Funny. 48 00:01:51,267 --> 00:01:52,500 Did you see your dick just then? 49 00:01:52,633 --> 00:01:53,333 What? 50 00:01:53,467 --> 00:01:54,900 Did you see what it did? 51 00:01:55,067 --> 00:01:56,300 No, what? 52 00:01:56,433 --> 00:01:57,133 It bobbled. 53 00:01:57,267 --> 00:01:58,667 [men laughing] 54 00:01:58,800 --> 00:01:59,767 Hey! 55 00:01:59,900 --> 00:02:01,300 Very good. 56 00:02:01,433 --> 00:02:03,233 So I says, "Can I walk you home?" 57 00:02:03,367 --> 00:02:05,433 And she says "You can push me if you want." 58 00:02:05,567 --> 00:02:06,600 [Teammate] Push her? 59 00:02:06,733 --> 00:02:08,100 She had a wheelchair in the corner. 60 00:02:08,233 --> 00:02:09,367 What could I say, I would have looked a right bastard 61 00:02:09,500 --> 00:02:10,567 if I blew it right then, wouldn't I? 62 00:02:10,700 --> 00:02:12,167 So you took a bird home in a wheelchair? 63 00:02:12,300 --> 00:02:13,467 You pulled a fricking cripple? 64 00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:15,667 Pushed a fricking cripple. 65 00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:17,133 Got to the park. 66 00:02:17,267 --> 00:02:18,967 She tells me she only lives across the road. 67 00:02:19,100 --> 00:02:20,467 I say "Will you be okay from here?" 68 00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:22,433 She says "I'm just like any other girl, you know?" 69 00:02:22,567 --> 00:02:23,633 I bet she was. 70 00:02:23,767 --> 00:02:26,167 So I says "Well, how can we manage?" 71 00:02:26,300 --> 00:02:27,467 And she says "Well you could always hang me 72 00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:28,667 in the park gates." 73 00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:30,167 [men laughing] 74 00:02:30,300 --> 00:02:32,133 So I hung her on the park gates and did the business. 75 00:02:32,267 --> 00:02:33,333 You gave her one on the park gates? 76 00:02:33,467 --> 00:02:34,700 [Tony] Yeah it wasn't bad either. 77 00:02:34,833 --> 00:02:35,800 [Man] Ugh! 78 00:02:35,933 --> 00:02:37,300 I don't believe you. 79 00:02:37,433 --> 00:02:38,933 So I gets her down and I'm wheeling her up her path 80 00:02:39,067 --> 00:02:40,600 when the front door opens. 81 00:02:40,733 --> 00:02:41,833 Her husband? 82 00:02:41,967 --> 00:02:43,333 Yeah, I leg it, he legs after me. 83 00:02:43,467 --> 00:02:44,267 I slip on the curb. 84 00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:45,500 I'm thinking, shit, this is it, 85 00:02:45,633 --> 00:02:47,067 he's gonna bat the hell out of me. 86 00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:48,967 But as I'm getting up he hands me a favour. 87 00:02:49,100 --> 00:02:51,067 "Here you go mate, get yourself a pint." 88 00:02:51,133 --> 00:02:54,567 I says "Did you see what we were doing on the park gates?" 89 00:02:54,700 --> 00:02:55,600 [man laughing] 90 00:02:55,733 --> 00:02:57,733 All right, why? 91 00:02:57,867 --> 00:03:00,467 He said "Every other bastard leaves her hanging there." 92 00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:03,233 [team laughing] 93 00:03:03,367 --> 00:03:04,433 That's not funny. 94 00:03:04,567 --> 00:03:06,267 No, that's not funny, that's sick! 95 00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:09,067 [team chanting] 96 00:03:10,833 --> 00:03:13,567 Bridget, five pints of lager, a bitter and a blowjob. 97 00:03:15,100 --> 00:03:16,067 She's crazy about me. 98 00:03:16,133 --> 00:03:17,467 I can tell. 99 00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:18,967 It's a tossup between him and the elephant man. 100 00:03:19,100 --> 00:03:20,500 [men laughing] 101 00:03:20,633 --> 00:03:23,800 A comeback! [laughing] 102 00:03:23,933 --> 00:03:25,067 What's so bleeding funny? 103 00:03:25,133 --> 00:03:25,833 It ain't you. 104 00:03:25,967 --> 00:03:27,433 I'm still a young man. 105 00:03:27,567 --> 00:03:30,967 Compared to Methuselah. [laughing] 106 00:03:31,100 --> 00:03:32,067 How'd Thessel go on? 107 00:03:32,167 --> 00:03:33,133 They won, one nil. 108 00:03:33,267 --> 00:03:34,067 [Man] Yes. 109 00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:35,367 They scored in the last minute, 110 00:03:35,500 --> 00:03:36,967 the jammy Scotch gits. 111 00:03:37,100 --> 00:03:38,233 What about United? 112 00:03:38,367 --> 00:03:40,267 Sheffield or Cambridge? 113 00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:41,600 Prague. 114 00:03:41,733 --> 00:03:42,733 Doesn't even go for it. 115 00:03:42,867 --> 00:03:44,700 Matthews was older than me. 116 00:03:44,833 --> 00:03:46,600 -Hi. -Well Matthews could play. 117 00:03:46,733 --> 00:03:48,067 Couldn't do worse than you lot. 118 00:03:48,167 --> 00:03:49,300 You're crap. 119 00:03:49,433 --> 00:03:51,133 You couldn't kick a bleeding hobbit. 120 00:03:52,267 --> 00:03:53,867 I'm thinking of coming back as a sweeper. 121 00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:56,967 I'll bring you your brush. [laughing] 122 00:03:59,100 --> 00:04:00,300 [balls clacking] 123 00:04:00,433 --> 00:04:02,900 Here's a run you're good at, George! [laughing] 124 00:04:03,067 --> 00:04:05,700 [men chattering] 125 00:04:06,567 --> 00:04:07,900 So what do you say, Bridge? 126 00:04:08,067 --> 00:04:10,500 You me, an onion bhaji and as many papadums as you want. 127 00:04:10,633 --> 00:04:11,500 Keep the change. 128 00:04:11,633 --> 00:04:12,733 Ta. 129 00:04:12,867 --> 00:04:13,567 Can you give me a bit of time to think it over? 130 00:04:13,700 --> 00:04:14,767 Of course, yeah. 131 00:04:14,900 --> 00:04:15,700 30 or 40 years? 132 00:04:15,833 --> 00:04:17,067 -Yes! -Ah, spraja! 133 00:04:17,167 --> 00:04:18,533 Told you it was big. 134 00:04:18,667 --> 00:04:20,367 [Man] Maybe you shouldn't have mentioned the papadums. 135 00:04:20,500 --> 00:04:22,567 -I bet she could taste them. -Ah, give me a month. 136 00:04:22,700 --> 00:04:25,167 She'll be begging to get her mouth around my vindaloo. 137 00:04:25,300 --> 00:04:26,100 All right. 138 00:04:26,233 --> 00:04:27,633 All right, I'm finally off. 139 00:04:27,767 --> 00:04:28,600 Get the early. 140 00:04:30,100 --> 00:04:31,133 I already got them, man. 141 00:04:31,267 --> 00:04:32,233 I've got them in twice. 142 00:04:32,367 --> 00:04:34,467 Ah, but your left does it. 143 00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:35,733 Makes no bleeding difference. 144 00:04:35,867 --> 00:04:36,833 [Man] Get them in, you tight bastard. 145 00:04:36,967 --> 00:04:38,500 Well you got a full pint now. 146 00:04:39,500 --> 00:04:40,967 Leave us some money then. 147 00:04:41,100 --> 00:04:43,667 [Nick sighing] 148 00:04:46,133 --> 00:04:47,167 Here. 149 00:04:47,300 --> 00:04:48,733 All right. 150 00:04:48,867 --> 00:04:49,567 See you later. 151 00:04:49,700 --> 00:04:50,767 -Ooh. -Tata. 152 00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:53,700 Bye boys. 153 00:04:53,833 --> 00:04:55,867 -Bye. -[smooching] 154 00:04:56,067 --> 00:04:56,967 He's underage. 155 00:04:57,100 --> 00:04:59,067 [men laughing] 156 00:04:59,133 --> 00:05:04,200 -[rock music] -* Blood and wine * 157 00:05:04,967 --> 00:05:08,733 * Love is so fine * 158 00:05:08,867 --> 00:05:13,867 * Hold here * 159 00:05:18,267 --> 00:05:22,367 * I can't breathe * 160 00:05:22,500 --> 00:05:27,067 * And I can't see * 161 00:05:27,167 --> 00:05:29,600 * TV moves too fast * 162 00:05:29,733 --> 00:05:32,300 * Refuse to understand * 163 00:05:32,433 --> 00:05:36,600 * You give me your plan I see mine * 164 00:05:36,733 --> 00:05:38,533 Buy yous a drink? 165 00:05:38,667 --> 00:05:39,367 You what? 166 00:05:39,500 --> 00:05:40,767 Want a drink? 167 00:05:41,967 --> 00:05:45,533 * It feels like it must be blind * 168 00:05:45,667 --> 00:05:48,800 * How'd you like * 169 00:05:48,933 --> 00:05:49,933 I don't believe this. 170 00:05:50,067 --> 00:05:51,067 [Woman] What? 171 00:05:51,133 --> 00:05:51,867 See that? 172 00:05:52,067 --> 00:05:52,700 Mhmm. 173 00:05:52,833 --> 00:05:53,900 -A Toe. -Yes. 174 00:05:54,067 --> 00:05:55,333 [Tony] And see this? 175 00:05:55,467 --> 00:05:56,167 [Woman] Hmm? 176 00:05:56,300 --> 00:05:57,400 [Tony] A knee. 177 00:05:57,533 --> 00:05:59,333 You're gonna meet someone called Tony. 178 00:05:59,467 --> 00:06:00,567 What's your name? 179 00:06:00,700 --> 00:06:02,067 [Tony] Tony. 180 00:06:02,133 --> 00:06:02,833 Never. 181 00:06:02,967 --> 00:06:04,133 What is wrong with you? 182 00:06:04,267 --> 00:06:05,600 We got a bet on. 183 00:06:05,733 --> 00:06:07,233 See who can go the longest without having a pee. 184 00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:09,200 And see this group here? 185 00:06:09,333 --> 00:06:10,233 [Woman] Yeah? 186 00:06:10,367 --> 00:06:11,600 Sex. 187 00:06:11,733 --> 00:06:13,067 [Woman] Is that right? 188 00:06:13,133 --> 00:06:14,067 Yeah , and see the way they're all bunched together? 189 00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:14,900 [Woman] Mhmm. 190 00:06:15,067 --> 00:06:16,600 Multiple orgasms. 191 00:06:16,733 --> 00:06:17,633 [Woman] Really? 192 00:06:17,767 --> 00:06:18,967 -Yeah. -All right, give in. 193 00:06:19,100 --> 00:06:19,933 Yeah. 194 00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:25,467 Ooh, I think we're in there. 195 00:06:26,700 --> 00:06:29,300 [both sighing] 196 00:06:33,067 --> 00:06:34,133 Well done. 197 00:06:34,267 --> 00:06:36,100 Sex, sex, sex, you scarpered them. 198 00:06:36,233 --> 00:06:38,133 I didn't say anything. 199 00:06:38,267 --> 00:06:40,433 [upbeat music] 200 00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:44,200 * So if you dance put your hand in mine * 201 00:06:44,333 --> 00:06:46,833 4.20 down the fucking drain. 202 00:06:49,467 --> 00:06:50,233 Shit. 203 00:06:50,367 --> 00:06:51,667 Bollocks. 204 00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:53,267 Come on. 205 00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:54,900 Excuse me, sorry. 206 00:06:55,067 --> 00:06:56,200 Going through. 207 00:06:57,833 --> 00:07:00,400 Two cans of lager and a neat traveller please. 208 00:07:00,533 --> 00:07:01,633 [Bartender] What? 209 00:07:01,767 --> 00:07:03,167 I don't think it's much to ask for. 210 00:07:03,300 --> 00:07:05,333 I've seen the prices in the door here, it's frightening. 211 00:07:05,467 --> 00:07:06,267 Leave it. 212 00:07:07,167 --> 00:07:08,367 [Bartender] Which one? 213 00:07:08,500 --> 00:07:10,433 I said okay, two cans of lager and a pack of... 214 00:07:10,567 --> 00:07:11,700 [Nick] You see the way he's dancing with her? 215 00:07:11,833 --> 00:07:13,267 Will you leave it? 216 00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:14,600 Hey we're just lookers if you're gonna like me. 217 00:07:14,733 --> 00:07:16,733 Hey, Tony, I say we go up there, man. 218 00:07:16,867 --> 00:07:19,200 Will you leave it, for god's sake. 219 00:07:19,333 --> 00:07:21,133 She's with the fricking stars. 220 00:07:21,267 --> 00:07:23,167 I'll buy [mumbling] 221 00:07:23,300 --> 00:07:24,400 Hey, Nick! 222 00:07:24,533 --> 00:07:25,367 Nick! 223 00:07:27,067 --> 00:07:31,800 * We're gonna leave all our troubles behind * 224 00:07:31,933 --> 00:07:33,433 * We're gonna walk in those lines * 225 00:07:33,567 --> 00:07:35,300 You fucking dealer. 226 00:07:35,433 --> 00:07:36,600 [punch bashing] 227 00:07:36,733 --> 00:07:39,567 [camera clicking] 228 00:07:43,100 --> 00:07:44,667 [Tony] It's not all it's cracked up to be. 229 00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:45,500 [Paula] What's that? 230 00:07:45,633 --> 00:07:46,333 Being a wonderful lover. 231 00:07:46,467 --> 00:07:47,467 No? 232 00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:48,300 No. 233 00:07:48,433 --> 00:07:49,467 The noise, you see. 234 00:07:50,700 --> 00:07:53,233 The noise women make when they're with me. 235 00:07:53,367 --> 00:07:54,800 Trying to get out the door? 236 00:07:56,700 --> 00:07:57,967 All those multiple orgasms, see? 237 00:07:58,100 --> 00:08:00,667 Well I can take your word for it, love. 238 00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:01,767 Sounds German, doesn't it? 239 00:08:01,900 --> 00:08:02,600 [Nick] What? 240 00:08:02,733 --> 00:08:03,600 Orgasm. 241 00:08:03,733 --> 00:08:05,067 Not really, no. 242 00:08:05,133 --> 00:08:06,167 [Tony] [speaks in foreign language] orgasm. 243 00:08:06,300 --> 00:08:08,267 -[Nick] I am an orgasm? -Yes. 244 00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:10,067 German does sound like that. 245 00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:14,800 Like sauerkraut or smorgasbord. 246 00:08:14,933 --> 00:08:16,067 Smorgasbord? 247 00:08:16,133 --> 00:08:19,367 God, so which continent do you live in? 248 00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:20,633 I mean I like a walk, 249 00:08:20,767 --> 00:08:22,733 but five days later, you know? 250 00:08:23,900 --> 00:08:25,533 [Nick humming] 251 00:08:25,667 --> 00:08:27,367 I feel a song coming on as well. 252 00:08:27,500 --> 00:08:28,633 Nick, tell me this. 253 00:08:28,767 --> 00:08:31,700 Is it smorgasbord or shmorgasbord? 254 00:08:31,833 --> 00:08:33,600 -Dunno. -Don't know. 255 00:08:33,733 --> 00:08:35,467 Say it's smorgasbord, right? 256 00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:39,633 S-M-O-R-G-A, rearrange the letters, what do you get? 257 00:08:39,767 --> 00:08:40,733 Karen. 258 00:08:40,867 --> 00:08:41,700 Karen. 259 00:08:42,567 --> 00:08:43,967 Orgasm. 260 00:08:44,100 --> 00:08:45,867 Could be smorgasbord though. 261 00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:47,367 Have you got a dictionary? 262 00:08:47,500 --> 00:08:49,167 Oh yeah, I carry one around all the time. 263 00:08:49,300 --> 00:08:51,667 Haha, yeah, in your flat. 264 00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:52,600 [Paula] Yeah. 265 00:08:52,733 --> 00:08:54,433 [Tony] Well, we'll look it up. 266 00:08:54,567 --> 00:08:55,267 [Paula] Will we? 267 00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:56,333 [Tony] Yeah. 268 00:08:56,467 --> 00:08:57,800 Over coffee. 269 00:08:57,933 --> 00:08:59,200 Good night. 270 00:08:59,333 --> 00:09:00,100 Night. 271 00:09:00,233 --> 00:09:01,733 [Nick] Good night. 272 00:09:01,867 --> 00:09:02,733 -Night. -What, really? 273 00:09:02,867 --> 00:09:05,567 [Karen laughing] 274 00:09:07,233 --> 00:09:08,133 Lesbians. 275 00:09:09,100 --> 00:09:10,433 What, really? 276 00:09:10,567 --> 00:09:14,767 Oh, for God's sake, Tony, your big girl's bloody blouse! 277 00:09:14,900 --> 00:09:16,567 He's not gonna bite ya! 278 00:09:16,700 --> 00:09:19,367 Get stuck into him for Christ sake! 279 00:09:19,500 --> 00:09:22,367 -[camera clicking] -[whistle blowing] 280 00:09:22,500 --> 00:09:25,567 [players chattering] 281 00:09:30,900 --> 00:09:32,067 [Tony] Paula! 282 00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:34,300 Hey mate, can I have a word please, thank you. 283 00:09:34,433 --> 00:09:35,567 Sorry boss, it's all right. 284 00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:37,167 This is embarrassing. 285 00:09:37,300 --> 00:09:38,833 [Tony talking indistinctly] 286 00:09:38,967 --> 00:09:40,067 [men laughing] 287 00:09:40,133 --> 00:09:41,267 What's the problem? 288 00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:42,867 I've got three serious complaints. 289 00:09:43,067 --> 00:09:43,967 Then see a doctor. 290 00:09:44,100 --> 00:09:45,833 One, where's all the fireworks? 291 00:09:45,967 --> 00:09:48,067 I want the brandy and the flames and all that. 292 00:09:48,167 --> 00:09:49,067 We don't do that. 293 00:09:49,167 --> 00:09:50,067 When's your night off? 294 00:09:50,167 --> 00:09:51,867 Two, what's this in the middle? 295 00:09:52,067 --> 00:09:52,700 Cream. 296 00:09:52,833 --> 00:09:53,633 [Tony] No it's not. 297 00:09:53,767 --> 00:09:55,367 You've gobbed in it. 298 00:09:55,500 --> 00:09:56,800 [Paula] Nobody's gobbed in your soup! 299 00:09:56,933 --> 00:09:58,067 Are you free Saturday night? 300 00:09:58,133 --> 00:10:00,067 You have no chance, she's a lesbian. 301 00:10:00,067 --> 00:10:01,400 Where to start? 302 00:10:01,533 --> 00:10:03,033 You start from the outside and work your way in. 303 00:10:03,167 --> 00:10:04,300 My motto exactly. 304 00:10:04,433 --> 00:10:05,800 Is that it? 305 00:10:05,933 --> 00:10:07,000 No, you haven't heard the third serious complaint. 306 00:10:07,133 --> 00:10:07,833 Spotted dick. 307 00:10:07,967 --> 00:10:10,233 Ooh, that is serious. 308 00:10:10,367 --> 00:10:11,700 You got no spotted dick in the menu. 309 00:10:11,833 --> 00:10:13,600 That's because we don't do spotted dicks, sir. 310 00:10:13,733 --> 00:10:14,533 Well have you got anything similar 311 00:10:14,667 --> 00:10:15,733 or something that would appeal 312 00:10:15,867 --> 00:10:17,767 to a more sophisticated delicate palate? 313 00:10:17,900 --> 00:10:21,333 I'll send the waitress in with a bag of pork scratchings. 314 00:10:21,467 --> 00:10:22,167 Is that it? 315 00:10:22,300 --> 00:10:23,433 Yeah, for now. 316 00:10:23,567 --> 00:10:24,667 Cell me Mr. Vladdie. 317 00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:26,800 I'm finishing off with number 69. 318 00:10:26,933 --> 00:10:27,967 [men laughing] 319 00:10:28,100 --> 00:10:29,400 I miss football. 320 00:10:29,533 --> 00:10:31,000 They're starting to call me Nigel Kluff. 321 00:10:31,133 --> 00:10:32,033 All right, all right. 322 00:10:32,167 --> 00:10:33,567 Who do I drop? 323 00:10:33,700 --> 00:10:34,567 [Nigel] You know who you're dropping. 324 00:10:34,700 --> 00:10:35,400 [Sammy] Who? 325 00:10:35,533 --> 00:10:36,900 [Nigel] Tell him, yeah? 326 00:10:37,033 --> 00:10:38,400 Don't talk to me about it. 327 00:10:38,533 --> 00:10:39,900 [Nigel] Tell him who he drops. 328 00:10:40,033 --> 00:10:42,067 Got nothing to do with me, Bobby Charlton picks the team. 329 00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:43,800 Where the bloody hell do you start? 330 00:10:43,933 --> 00:10:45,800 You know who I'm talking about. 331 00:10:47,367 --> 00:10:49,500 [Sammy] It's someone on this table. 332 00:10:49,633 --> 00:10:50,500 Nick, yeah? 333 00:10:50,633 --> 00:10:51,767 What? 334 00:10:51,900 --> 00:10:54,933 Nothing, just talking to Nigel. [laughing] 335 00:10:57,233 --> 00:10:58,033 Goodnight. 336 00:10:58,167 --> 00:10:58,967 [Karen] Night. 337 00:11:00,067 --> 00:11:02,100 [Nick] Hey you. 338 00:11:02,233 --> 00:11:02,933 Hi. 339 00:11:03,067 --> 00:11:03,867 [Nick] All right? 340 00:11:04,767 --> 00:11:05,833 Yeah. 341 00:11:05,967 --> 00:11:06,800 Yeah? 342 00:11:08,567 --> 00:11:09,267 [Nick] How you doing? 343 00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:10,267 All right. 344 00:11:12,467 --> 00:11:13,300 How is it? 345 00:11:14,267 --> 00:11:15,233 Itchy. 346 00:11:15,367 --> 00:11:16,100 [Karen] Yeah? 347 00:11:16,233 --> 00:11:17,067 Aye. 348 00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:19,600 You going somewhere, eh? 349 00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:21,967 Yeah. 350 00:11:22,100 --> 00:11:22,933 Right. 351 00:11:25,567 --> 00:11:26,400 [Karen] See ya. 352 00:11:27,633 --> 00:11:28,833 Nice seeing you again. 353 00:11:38,233 --> 00:11:40,733 [car revving] 354 00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:51,433 [equipment clattering] 355 00:11:54,833 --> 00:11:55,967 Perfect. 356 00:11:56,100 --> 00:11:57,067 Aye. 357 00:11:57,133 --> 00:11:59,700 Bygone, the best you've ever had. 358 00:11:59,833 --> 00:12:01,733 Can't remember. 359 00:12:01,867 --> 00:12:04,067 Had a good one on Skungthorpe once. 360 00:12:04,133 --> 00:12:06,100 Darby shop, mate. 361 00:12:06,233 --> 00:12:08,267 This wee place in Darby shop. 362 00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:10,100 Absolute perfection. 363 00:12:11,067 --> 00:12:12,100 Course the problem is 364 00:12:12,233 --> 00:12:13,100 you're always looking for it again, don't you? 365 00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:14,067 [Tony] Aye. 366 00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:15,167 And you're never gonna find her. 367 00:12:15,300 --> 00:12:16,700 Never. 368 00:12:16,833 --> 00:12:20,633 I don't know, kind of flaky these days, you know? 369 00:12:20,767 --> 00:12:25,067 You have a big gap between the pasty and the cults. 370 00:12:25,133 --> 00:12:27,067 I mean you end up paying for fresh air. 371 00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:29,433 I mean it should be full [drowned out by banging] 372 00:12:29,567 --> 00:12:31,267 Full and gooey. 373 00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:32,600 You know what I mean? 374 00:12:32,733 --> 00:12:33,567 Aye. 375 00:12:34,533 --> 00:12:35,367 Sort of. 376 00:12:50,500 --> 00:12:54,333 [classical music in distance] 377 00:12:55,633 --> 00:12:56,433 -Hi. -Hello. 378 00:12:56,567 --> 00:12:57,767 -Right. -How you doing? 379 00:12:57,900 --> 00:12:59,667 -Yeah. -Yeah? 380 00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:01,067 You going in there? 381 00:13:01,133 --> 00:13:02,433 Yeah. 382 00:13:02,567 --> 00:13:04,100 For a video? 383 00:13:04,233 --> 00:13:06,800 Yeah. [chuckling] 384 00:13:06,933 --> 00:13:08,733 So what are you after? 385 00:13:08,867 --> 00:13:10,067 True Lies. 386 00:13:10,133 --> 00:13:11,267 [Nick] True Lies? 387 00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:13,067 Yeah, yeah, True Lies. 388 00:13:13,167 --> 00:13:14,967 It's full of sex and violence, isn't it? 389 00:13:15,100 --> 00:13:16,233 Amoral, know what I mean? 390 00:13:16,367 --> 00:13:17,667 Sounds great. 391 00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:19,567 [Nick] Yeah, I know, I've seen it a few times. 392 00:13:19,700 --> 00:13:20,533 Is that it? 393 00:13:22,667 --> 00:13:25,300 Listen, do you want to watch it? 394 00:13:26,733 --> 00:13:28,233 We could watch it. 395 00:13:33,133 --> 00:13:34,500 Are you going out with that guy 396 00:13:34,633 --> 00:13:36,067 from the hotel? 397 00:13:36,167 --> 00:13:37,167 Yeah. 398 00:13:37,300 --> 00:13:38,367 Yeah, I am. 399 00:13:45,567 --> 00:13:46,400 Serious? 400 00:13:49,133 --> 00:13:51,967 [Karen] It's just convenient for us really, you know. 401 00:13:55,833 --> 00:13:56,900 Can you play that? 402 00:13:57,067 --> 00:13:59,367 It's easy 'cause we both work there. 403 00:13:59,500 --> 00:14:00,767 Doesn't take much effort. 404 00:14:06,700 --> 00:14:07,533 And yeah. 405 00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:11,100 Sorry? 406 00:14:11,233 --> 00:14:12,133 I can play it. 407 00:14:14,867 --> 00:14:16,833 Sort of. [chuckling] 408 00:14:16,967 --> 00:14:19,200 [Nick] Yes, you're a natural! 409 00:14:19,333 --> 00:14:22,333 [light piano music] 410 00:14:26,633 --> 00:14:27,467 Hiya. 411 00:14:28,833 --> 00:14:30,233 Hi, Paula. 412 00:14:30,367 --> 00:14:31,433 Hiya. 413 00:14:31,567 --> 00:14:32,600 Well done. 414 00:14:32,733 --> 00:14:36,233 [Nick and Karen laughing] 415 00:14:37,533 --> 00:14:39,633 I always thought about the banjo. 416 00:14:39,767 --> 00:14:41,667 [Karen] You find out more that makes sense. 417 00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:42,800 I get that there's certain jobs 418 00:14:42,933 --> 00:14:44,367 for my type of hand. 419 00:14:44,500 --> 00:14:47,767 [Karen laughing] 420 00:14:47,900 --> 00:14:49,400 Getting ready now. 421 00:15:35,067 --> 00:15:38,067 [birds squawking] 422 00:15:38,167 --> 00:15:40,967 God they're so effortless. 423 00:15:41,100 --> 00:15:42,067 The way they just, 424 00:15:44,133 --> 00:15:45,767 don't they look like just cruising through the air? 425 00:15:45,900 --> 00:15:47,300 -I love it. -Yeah. 426 00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:54,367 It's amazing the dove things though when they swoop. 427 00:15:54,500 --> 00:15:55,733 Like that one. 428 00:15:55,867 --> 00:15:57,467 Going at the clubs. 429 00:16:00,067 --> 00:16:01,800 You know they use up more energy 430 00:16:02,967 --> 00:16:05,400 just trying to get the bit of bread 431 00:16:05,533 --> 00:16:07,433 than they get it from the bit of bread. 432 00:16:09,500 --> 00:16:11,100 -Perform, no? -Yes you oughta know. 433 00:16:11,233 --> 00:16:13,900 [both laughing] 434 00:16:19,233 --> 00:16:20,400 God it's beautiful now. 435 00:16:20,533 --> 00:16:21,533 Clear sky. 436 00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:25,067 Blue sky. 437 00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:27,100 [crowd applauding] 438 00:16:27,233 --> 00:16:28,233 Skin head! 439 00:16:31,533 --> 00:16:32,300 [Man] Go, Sammy! 440 00:16:32,433 --> 00:16:34,067 Thank you. 441 00:16:34,167 --> 00:16:36,067 I'll never forget our cup run. 442 00:16:36,133 --> 00:16:36,933 [crowd laughing] 443 00:16:37,067 --> 00:16:38,500 Ah, believe me, I've tried. 444 00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:42,867 First round, Nick played his usual blinder. 445 00:16:43,067 --> 00:16:44,500 He is blind. 446 00:16:44,633 --> 00:16:47,067 Hey Nick, Nick! 447 00:16:47,167 --> 00:16:49,800 You can pass the thing now and again! 448 00:16:51,233 --> 00:16:53,733 You haven't got to give it away all the bleeding time! 449 00:16:53,867 --> 00:16:55,967 Give us a bit of effort, will you? 450 00:16:56,100 --> 00:16:57,200 Look interested! 451 00:16:57,333 --> 00:16:58,633 [camera clicking] 452 00:16:58,767 --> 00:17:01,800 [men shouting] 453 00:17:01,933 --> 00:17:04,800 Oh, for Christ sake Nick, get out! 454 00:17:04,933 --> 00:17:06,300 Out, out you lazy bleeder! 455 00:17:07,433 --> 00:17:09,500 You're playing them all on, you stupid git! 456 00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:11,933 [camera clicking] 457 00:17:12,067 --> 00:17:14,867 [whistle blowing] 458 00:17:15,067 --> 00:17:17,867 Oh, for [beep] sake, ref! 459 00:17:18,067 --> 00:17:20,733 What the [beep] hell are you playing at? 460 00:17:20,867 --> 00:17:23,367 He got nowhere [beep]ing near him! 461 00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:25,267 Dell, get [beep]ing changed. 462 00:17:27,233 --> 00:17:28,267 Ah, Nick! 463 00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:30,700 Nick, you're [beep]ing crap! 464 00:17:30,833 --> 00:17:32,633 You're [beep]ing useless! 465 00:17:32,767 --> 00:17:35,800 Absolutely [beep]ing useless! 466 00:17:35,933 --> 00:17:37,100 Hurry up, will you? 467 00:17:38,300 --> 00:17:39,667 You shout at me one more [beep]ing time 468 00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:42,500 I'm gonna ram your poxy [beep]ing teeth 469 00:17:42,633 --> 00:17:47,400 right down your [beep]ing throat, okay?! 470 00:17:48,700 --> 00:17:50,500 Put your tracksuit back on, son. 471 00:17:50,633 --> 00:17:52,333 Oh, for Christ sake! 472 00:17:58,967 --> 00:18:00,100 Can I help you both? 473 00:18:00,233 --> 00:18:02,300 [Man] Ah she's good, she doesn't answer back. 474 00:18:02,433 --> 00:18:03,500 Unlike yours. 475 00:18:05,667 --> 00:18:08,633 [equipment humming] 476 00:18:17,067 --> 00:18:19,900 [hammer clanging] 477 00:18:27,533 --> 00:18:29,667 You stupid friggin bollocks! 478 00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:32,067 -What the hell are you- -Work! Wear out, Nicky! 479 00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:33,500 God's sake man, what's wrong with you? 480 00:18:33,633 --> 00:18:35,333 It slipped, I'm sorry. 481 00:18:35,467 --> 00:18:37,967 [Boss] My arse you're sorry. 482 00:18:46,867 --> 00:18:47,967 Hello. 483 00:18:48,100 --> 00:18:48,933 [Karen] You okay? 484 00:18:49,067 --> 00:18:50,433 Hi. 485 00:18:50,567 --> 00:18:51,533 How'd you know I was here? 486 00:18:51,667 --> 00:18:52,767 -Tony called. -Oh yeah? 487 00:18:52,900 --> 00:18:54,167 What happened? 488 00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:56,200 [sighing] Well. 489 00:18:56,333 --> 00:18:57,767 Well my hand went numb. 490 00:18:57,900 --> 00:18:58,633 [Karen] Yeah? 491 00:18:58,767 --> 00:19:00,067 It was weird. 492 00:19:00,167 --> 00:19:01,100 Don't know. 493 00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:04,067 Have you been here long? 494 00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:05,633 About an hour. 495 00:19:05,767 --> 00:19:07,067 It was all right though 'cause 496 00:19:07,167 --> 00:19:09,100 popped up to see my granddad, he's in here. 497 00:19:09,233 --> 00:19:10,667 What's wrong with him? 498 00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:11,633 It's terrible. 499 00:19:12,833 --> 00:19:15,833 A couple of smart kids broke in in his house. 500 00:19:15,967 --> 00:19:17,667 Done him in, duffed him up about. 501 00:19:18,867 --> 00:19:21,533 You know that long chip part thing in a hoover? 502 00:19:21,667 --> 00:19:22,500 Yeah. 503 00:19:23,500 --> 00:19:25,967 [sighing] Stuck it up his ass. 504 00:19:26,100 --> 00:19:27,367 Is he all right? 505 00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,067 Oh, he's packing up nicely. 506 00:19:30,933 --> 00:19:32,367 [Karen] Yeah. 507 00:19:32,500 --> 00:19:35,067 [Nick laughing] 508 00:19:35,133 --> 00:19:38,133 [light jazzy music] 509 00:19:43,267 --> 00:19:46,967 * Man give a woman plenty of lovin * 510 00:19:47,100 --> 00:19:50,967 * Woman like that yeah * 511 00:19:51,100 --> 00:19:54,900 * Man give a woman plenty of hugging * 512 00:19:55,067 --> 00:19:59,067 * Woman like that yeah * 513 00:19:59,133 --> 00:20:02,900 * And when man see woman cry * 514 00:20:03,033 --> 00:20:07,033 * Man go to her and dry her eyes * 515 00:20:07,167 --> 00:20:11,133 * Man show woman that he care * 516 00:20:11,267 --> 00:20:15,067 * And the woman's gonna be right there * 517 00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:16,567 Seven. 518 00:20:16,700 --> 00:20:18,000 That's your record, seven times? 519 00:20:18,133 --> 00:20:19,300 Yeah. 520 00:20:19,433 --> 00:20:20,700 In a year? 521 00:20:20,833 --> 00:20:22,033 No, in the same night. 522 00:20:22,900 --> 00:20:24,033 Seven times in one night? 523 00:20:24,167 --> 00:20:25,033 Yeah. 524 00:20:25,167 --> 00:20:26,567 What, with seven different girls? 525 00:20:26,700 --> 00:20:28,767 No, with the same girl. 526 00:20:28,900 --> 00:20:30,967 Glutton for punishment, was she? 527 00:20:31,100 --> 00:20:33,900 She said you can't get too much of a good thing. 528 00:20:34,033 --> 00:20:35,267 Then the men in white coats turned up. 529 00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:36,433 No. 530 00:20:36,567 --> 00:20:38,300 Multiple orgasms, see? 531 00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:40,767 You sure it was seven times? 532 00:20:40,900 --> 00:20:41,700 Positive. 533 00:20:42,900 --> 00:20:43,600 You counted? 534 00:20:43,733 --> 00:20:45,100 Yeah. 535 00:20:45,233 --> 00:20:46,333 You're very sad. 536 00:20:48,467 --> 00:20:49,267 Yeah. 537 00:20:50,333 --> 00:20:52,600 [Paula laughing] 538 00:20:52,733 --> 00:20:53,500 Gambia? 539 00:20:54,467 --> 00:20:56,467 -Aye -Are all of you going? 540 00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:57,867 Yeah. 541 00:20:58,000 --> 00:20:59,500 Football trip. 542 00:20:59,633 --> 00:21:00,600 Nice. 543 00:21:02,767 --> 00:21:03,733 I'll send you a postcard. 544 00:21:03,867 --> 00:21:04,767 Will you? 545 00:21:06,967 --> 00:21:07,967 Every day. 546 00:21:09,500 --> 00:21:12,367 [light piano music] 547 00:21:12,500 --> 00:21:13,333 Listen. 548 00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:17,533 See, when I get back, 549 00:21:19,833 --> 00:21:20,667 What? 550 00:21:22,533 --> 00:21:24,300 Do you fancy moving in with me? 551 00:21:32,700 --> 00:21:34,600 Can I think about it? 552 00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:38,067 Aye. 553 00:21:42,467 --> 00:21:43,933 Hey, hey, guys, come on. 554 00:21:44,867 --> 00:21:46,533 I have a terrible thirst. 555 00:21:47,633 --> 00:21:48,433 Come on. 556 00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:50,967 Give us a kiss. 557 00:21:53,133 --> 00:21:54,333 But with the hair. 558 00:21:54,467 --> 00:21:55,200 Yeah. 559 00:21:55,333 --> 00:21:56,133 Come on! 560 00:21:57,900 --> 00:22:01,900 * Woman like that yeah * 561 00:22:02,067 --> 00:22:05,333 * Man that makes woman's love grow * 562 00:22:05,467 --> 00:22:08,900 * Shucks woman like that yeah * 563 00:22:09,067 --> 00:22:10,533 [Paula] Morning. 564 00:22:16,500 --> 00:22:17,200 What? 565 00:22:17,333 --> 00:22:21,167 [laughing] Come here. 566 00:22:21,300 --> 00:22:23,633 Come in here in free time. 567 00:22:27,900 --> 00:22:30,467 * Man act like a neon cat * 568 00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:33,967 * That's for sure you won't get nowhere * 569 00:22:34,100 --> 00:22:37,267 * Oh whoah * 570 00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:40,100 * Woman will be then sitting right there * 571 00:22:40,233 --> 00:22:42,100 * Oh yes she will * 572 00:22:42,233 --> 00:22:44,600 * Woman like that yeah * 573 00:22:44,733 --> 00:22:47,533 * What you want around at home and * 574 00:22:47,667 --> 00:22:48,767 * Oh shucks * 575 00:22:48,900 --> 00:22:52,067 * Woman like that yeah * 576 00:22:52,167 --> 00:22:54,167 * Shush * 577 00:22:55,233 --> 00:22:56,167 Hiya. 578 00:22:56,300 --> 00:22:57,767 You got too much stuff. 579 00:22:57,900 --> 00:23:00,600 [Karen] I knew you'd say that. 580 00:23:06,900 --> 00:23:10,267 [light piano music] 581 00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:12,533 * Someone rather patient * 582 00:23:12,667 --> 00:23:14,867 * I said you are a lady * 583 00:23:15,067 --> 00:23:16,200 That's my big sister Jean. 584 00:23:16,333 --> 00:23:18,233 She's a nurse. 585 00:23:18,367 --> 00:23:19,200 She's big? 586 00:23:20,533 --> 00:23:21,967 Seriously. 587 00:23:22,100 --> 00:23:23,467 We were born on the same day. 588 00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:25,333 She's exactly a year older than me. 589 00:23:26,267 --> 00:23:29,500 [sledgehammer bashing] 590 00:23:33,967 --> 00:23:34,800 Mum. 591 00:23:37,067 --> 00:23:39,067 Aw, she looks nice. 592 00:23:39,133 --> 00:23:40,367 Yeah, she is. 593 00:23:47,167 --> 00:23:48,400 This is my dad. 594 00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:52,567 He was a chef in the army. 595 00:23:58,233 --> 00:24:00,400 Didn't ever go with him? 596 00:24:00,533 --> 00:24:02,433 I went once to Malta. 597 00:24:03,367 --> 00:24:04,233 Mum hated in. 598 00:24:05,833 --> 00:24:06,533 Ay! 599 00:24:06,667 --> 00:24:07,733 Ooh ooh ooh. 600 00:24:07,867 --> 00:24:09,600 Cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp. 601 00:24:09,733 --> 00:24:10,967 -Here? -Yeah. 602 00:24:11,100 --> 00:24:12,600 -See there's that knot there? -No, no, no, no, no. 603 00:24:12,733 --> 00:24:14,667 Rub it, rub it, rub it. 604 00:24:16,567 --> 00:24:19,167 Six million pound for a wanker like that, huh? 605 00:24:19,300 --> 00:24:21,100 I mean if he's worth six million 606 00:24:21,233 --> 00:24:23,067 what's our share worth? 607 00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:24,133 What am I worth? 608 00:24:24,267 --> 00:24:24,967 Two bob. 609 00:24:25,100 --> 00:24:26,633 Thank you, Nick. 610 00:24:26,767 --> 00:24:29,200 Let's say he's a hundred times better than me, right? 611 00:24:29,333 --> 00:24:32,233 Six million divided by a hundred is? 612 00:24:33,433 --> 00:24:34,300 60,000. 613 00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:37,100 I must be worth 60,000 pounds. 614 00:24:37,233 --> 00:24:39,300 I, Tony "The Legs" Jeffries 615 00:24:39,433 --> 00:24:40,533 am worth 60,000 pound. 616 00:24:44,267 --> 00:24:45,900 Ah, did you get a wee note, darling? 617 00:24:46,067 --> 00:24:48,967 Ah pet, lamb lamb chop babylings. 618 00:24:49,100 --> 00:24:50,233 It's cute. 619 00:24:50,367 --> 00:24:53,233 [Reporter] Rain will come and go. 620 00:24:53,367 --> 00:24:57,567 Iris see, west or southwest, occasional rain. 621 00:24:57,700 --> 00:24:58,533 Variable. 622 00:24:59,700 --> 00:25:02,200 [Reporter] Shannon, west or southwest 506, 623 00:25:02,333 --> 00:25:04,067 occasional rain. 624 00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:06,067 -Good. -Moderate or good. 625 00:25:06,133 --> 00:25:09,467 Rockwood, southwesterly, six to gale eight. 626 00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:12,067 -Becoming poor. -Becoming poor. 627 00:25:12,133 --> 00:25:14,800 Hebrides Bailey, easterly gale eight. 628 00:25:14,933 --> 00:25:18,233 -Becoming moderate. -Becoming moderate or poor. 629 00:25:18,367 --> 00:25:21,800 Fair Isle, easterly 506, rain maybe showers. 630 00:25:21,933 --> 00:25:22,733 Good. 631 00:25:22,867 --> 00:25:25,067 [Reporter] Moderate or good. 632 00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:27,500 Promity fourth time dogger. 633 00:25:27,633 --> 00:25:28,867 -Good. -Southwesterly, 634 00:25:29,067 --> 00:25:30,500 six to gale eight. 635 00:25:30,633 --> 00:25:33,533 Rain and showers, moderate or good. 636 00:25:35,133 --> 00:25:36,067 Chip 'em. 637 00:25:36,167 --> 00:25:37,067 Chip 'em! 638 00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:38,400 Go around them then! 639 00:25:38,533 --> 00:25:40,533 Don't let him force you wide, don't! 640 00:25:40,667 --> 00:25:44,700 Ah, for God's sake, Nick! 641 00:25:44,833 --> 00:25:47,600 You couldn't score in a blood brothel! 642 00:25:47,733 --> 00:25:49,067 I could have put that in, couldn't I? 643 00:25:49,167 --> 00:25:51,633 My grandmother could have put it in! 644 00:25:51,767 --> 00:25:53,467 You stupid bloody bollock! 645 00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:56,267 [door clacking] 646 00:26:07,067 --> 00:26:10,433 [Nick breathing heavily] 647 00:26:16,533 --> 00:26:19,100 [sombre music] 648 00:26:36,967 --> 00:26:37,667 Hiya. 649 00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:38,500 [Nick] Heya. 650 00:26:38,633 --> 00:26:40,233 Good? 651 00:26:40,367 --> 00:26:41,433 -You? -Yeah. 652 00:26:42,500 --> 00:26:44,567 -What's wrong? -Nothing. 653 00:26:48,333 --> 00:26:49,400 [Reporter] Good of him. 654 00:26:49,533 --> 00:26:50,467 But I'm sure the fans will be amazed 655 00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:51,900 he was there from the base, 656 00:26:52,067 --> 00:26:52,733 a player of his stature. 657 00:26:52,867 --> 00:26:54,200 [Man] I was surprised, 658 00:26:54,333 --> 00:26:55,133 though we have to look at the team things first. 659 00:26:55,267 --> 00:26:58,800 [Nick] What time did you finish? 660 00:26:58,933 --> 00:27:02,067 The usual time. 661 00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:03,867 But late, you know? 662 00:27:04,067 --> 00:27:04,833 You can tell. 663 00:27:06,067 --> 00:27:08,133 Well I always go for a pint after a match. 664 00:27:08,267 --> 00:27:09,967 And I went for a drink after work. 665 00:27:10,100 --> 00:27:11,633 Oh, with Charlie? 666 00:27:11,767 --> 00:27:13,333 And others, yeah. 667 00:27:16,667 --> 00:27:19,133 He still fancies you. 668 00:27:19,267 --> 00:27:20,100 I know. 669 00:27:21,233 --> 00:27:22,333 What, he told you? 670 00:27:22,467 --> 00:27:23,300 No. 671 00:27:27,767 --> 00:27:28,833 And he's your boss. 672 00:27:28,967 --> 00:27:29,767 So? 673 00:27:29,900 --> 00:27:31,467 So he can take advantage. 674 00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:34,433 Of what? 675 00:27:34,567 --> 00:27:36,067 Yeah, forget it. 676 00:27:45,667 --> 00:27:48,233 [Nick sighing] 677 00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:50,067 I'm sorry. 678 00:27:52,567 --> 00:27:54,967 So, I'm still shagging him now and again. 679 00:27:56,067 --> 00:27:56,900 So what? 680 00:27:58,067 --> 00:27:59,067 He's my boss. 681 00:28:05,767 --> 00:28:08,500 [Karen laughing] 682 00:28:12,467 --> 00:28:14,367 [camera clicking] 683 00:28:14,500 --> 00:28:17,567 [players and Sammy chattering] 684 00:28:17,700 --> 00:28:20,067 [Tony groaning] 685 00:28:20,133 --> 00:28:22,167 -[typewriter clacking] -Come on Tony! 686 00:28:22,300 --> 00:28:23,133 Good lad! 687 00:28:24,233 --> 00:28:26,767 * If I were a dog * 688 00:28:26,900 --> 00:28:29,667 * Ooh first timers could walk me * 689 00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:31,300 Ah, don't, stop. 690 00:28:34,400 --> 00:28:38,467 * Who needs to be loved baby * 691 00:28:38,600 --> 00:28:41,300 * I'm a man, honey * 692 00:28:41,433 --> 00:28:43,700 * Need to be needed * 693 00:28:43,833 --> 00:28:47,200 * I can't think of nobody * 694 00:28:47,333 --> 00:28:52,333 * That I want to need me * 695 00:28:53,100 --> 00:28:57,700 * Better than you baby * 696 00:29:01,067 --> 00:29:04,200 * If I were a song * 697 00:29:04,333 --> 00:29:08,433 * Like to be sung by the Rolling Stones * 698 00:29:08,567 --> 00:29:11,067 * If I were a dance floor * 699 00:29:11,200 --> 00:29:14,100 * James Brown could mash potatoes on me all night long * 700 00:29:14,233 --> 00:29:16,167 * But I'm a man * 701 00:29:16,300 --> 00:29:17,167 -Bananas and apples. -Some bananas, 702 00:29:17,300 --> 00:29:18,767 -some bananas. -And apples. 703 00:29:18,900 --> 00:29:22,133 * Need someone to cook my favourite dish * 704 00:29:22,267 --> 00:29:25,867 * I'm a man baby * 705 00:29:26,067 --> 00:29:28,500 * Who needs to grant someone's every wish * 706 00:29:28,633 --> 00:29:31,433 * And I can't think of nobody * 707 00:29:31,567 --> 00:29:36,567 * Wish I'd like to greet honey * 708 00:29:37,500 --> 00:29:40,333 * Better than yours baby * 709 00:29:48,500 --> 00:29:50,567 Four down, five from right. 710 00:29:53,800 --> 00:29:55,267 Okay. 711 00:29:55,400 --> 00:29:56,933 Two down, three from right. 712 00:30:00,967 --> 00:30:02,167 Okay. 713 00:30:02,300 --> 00:30:04,033 One down four from right. 714 00:30:06,667 --> 00:30:07,800 Okay. 715 00:30:07,933 --> 00:30:10,000 Could you put the wand down now, please? 716 00:30:14,067 --> 00:30:15,800 How'd I do? 717 00:30:15,933 --> 00:30:18,333 I think you lost your place on the darts team. 718 00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:22,400 [Doctor] It's the first time you've had double vision? 719 00:30:22,533 --> 00:30:23,600 Yeah. 720 00:30:23,733 --> 00:30:26,333 Any other problems with the eyes? 721 00:30:26,467 --> 00:30:27,267 No. 722 00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:29,200 Any numbness? 723 00:30:29,333 --> 00:30:30,100 In my eyes? 724 00:30:30,233 --> 00:30:31,233 [Doctor] Anywhere? 725 00:30:32,333 --> 00:30:33,800 Well in my arms then and again. 726 00:30:33,933 --> 00:30:34,633 [Doctor] Pins and needles. 727 00:30:34,767 --> 00:30:35,800 Aye, you know. 728 00:30:35,933 --> 00:30:37,067 Kind everybody gets kind of thing. 729 00:30:37,200 --> 00:30:39,300 [Doctor] And you've never worn glasses? 730 00:30:39,433 --> 00:30:40,267 No. 731 00:30:41,767 --> 00:30:42,833 I'd say it's a trapped nerve, 732 00:30:42,967 --> 00:30:44,667 the other eye compensating for it. 733 00:30:46,633 --> 00:30:48,400 Well, they make me look a bit more 734 00:30:50,433 --> 00:30:52,033 sophisticated, don't you think? 735 00:30:54,267 --> 00:30:56,500 Than who, Rab C. Nesbitt? 736 00:30:56,633 --> 00:31:01,667 -[pool balls clacking] -[people chattering] 737 00:31:05,967 --> 00:31:07,167 All right. 738 00:31:07,300 --> 00:31:09,733 Oh my god, it's Cliff Richard. 739 00:31:09,867 --> 00:31:12,900 [men laughing] 740 00:31:13,067 --> 00:31:14,167 How's it going? 741 00:31:14,300 --> 00:31:15,233 How's it going, mate? 742 00:31:15,367 --> 00:31:16,867 [camera clicking] 743 00:31:17,067 --> 00:31:20,600 [typewriter clacking] 744 00:31:20,733 --> 00:31:23,467 [knife clacking] 745 00:31:35,800 --> 00:31:37,067 Not in there. 746 00:31:38,367 --> 00:31:39,067 Ow! 747 00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:40,767 [pan clanging] 748 00:31:40,900 --> 00:31:42,167 No way chance. 749 00:31:42,300 --> 00:31:43,200 [Nick] You okay? 750 00:31:43,333 --> 00:31:44,567 [Karen] Yeah. 751 00:31:49,067 --> 00:31:50,100 Jesus, honey. 752 00:31:51,067 --> 00:31:51,800 Here. 753 00:31:52,933 --> 00:31:55,333 How come I haven't felt it? 754 00:31:58,100 --> 00:32:01,433 [sombre music] 755 00:32:01,567 --> 00:32:04,533 [keyboard clacking] 756 00:32:16,167 --> 00:32:19,067 [Karen] Double vision, numbness. 757 00:32:20,433 --> 00:32:21,800 Sensation loss. 758 00:32:24,833 --> 00:32:27,167 All those questions you were asking him. 759 00:32:30,467 --> 00:32:32,267 He's got multiple sclerosis. 760 00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:33,600 Not necessarily. 761 00:32:34,667 --> 00:32:36,400 You think he's got MS. 762 00:32:36,533 --> 00:32:39,067 [Doctor] I think it's a possibility. 763 00:32:39,200 --> 00:32:41,067 Then why the hell didn't you tell him? 764 00:32:41,200 --> 00:32:42,833 Do you know anything about MS? 765 00:32:44,300 --> 00:32:45,700 A bit. 766 00:32:45,833 --> 00:32:47,567 Then you'll know the symptoms can come and go. 767 00:32:47,700 --> 00:32:49,467 Sometimes they'll disappear altogether. 768 00:32:49,600 --> 00:32:50,733 Sometimes it won't get any worse 769 00:32:50,867 --> 00:32:52,267 than a tingle in the arm. 770 00:32:52,400 --> 00:32:55,633 If he's got it, he's got a right to know he's got it. 771 00:32:55,767 --> 00:32:57,533 It's stress-related. 772 00:32:57,667 --> 00:33:00,067 Telling him he's got it might induce an attack. 773 00:33:05,867 --> 00:33:07,333 What are you going to do? 774 00:33:07,467 --> 00:33:08,700 Nothing. 775 00:33:08,833 --> 00:33:11,133 But if you want to tell him, you should do so. 776 00:33:13,967 --> 00:33:16,467 [light music] 777 00:33:18,433 --> 00:33:19,467 Sorry, Charlie. 778 00:33:19,600 --> 00:33:20,533 Okay, no problem. 779 00:33:35,067 --> 00:33:37,067 I do miss you, you know. 780 00:33:38,900 --> 00:33:41,467 You see me all day every day. 781 00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:43,067 You know what I mean. 782 00:33:44,167 --> 00:33:45,900 I'm living with Nick now, Charlie. 783 00:33:46,867 --> 00:33:47,700 Right. 784 00:33:49,333 --> 00:33:51,567 Well that's it now, isn't it? 785 00:33:51,700 --> 00:33:53,100 Suddenly I'm not available. 786 00:33:53,233 --> 00:33:55,067 When I was available, you weren't all that bothered. 787 00:33:55,200 --> 00:33:56,200 I was bothered. 788 00:33:58,067 --> 00:33:59,167 I just didn't show it. 789 00:34:01,633 --> 00:34:02,467 Night, Charlie. 790 00:34:07,533 --> 00:34:08,367 Night. 791 00:34:14,633 --> 00:34:17,233 [car starting] 792 00:34:22,567 --> 00:34:25,767 [sombre piano music] 793 00:34:25,900 --> 00:34:26,933 Take tomorrow off. 794 00:34:29,733 --> 00:34:30,567 Why? 795 00:34:33,900 --> 00:34:36,700 We could go to the market, get something to eat. 796 00:34:36,833 --> 00:34:37,833 Yeah, but why? 797 00:34:40,267 --> 00:34:42,467 It'd just be nice to spend some time together. 798 00:34:47,100 --> 00:34:47,900 You feel so guilty about? 799 00:34:48,067 --> 00:34:48,867 Nothing. 800 00:34:52,467 --> 00:34:55,067 You've been screwing Charlie, ain't you? 801 00:34:55,167 --> 00:34:56,500 Oh, for God's sake, Nick. 802 00:34:56,633 --> 00:34:57,833 Why were you late? 803 00:34:59,067 --> 00:35:00,867 -I stayed late 'cause I- -'Cause you got in late. 804 00:35:01,067 --> 00:35:02,600 Why did you get in late? 805 00:35:02,733 --> 00:35:03,633 I had to go somewhere. 806 00:35:03,767 --> 00:35:04,800 Where? 807 00:35:04,933 --> 00:35:05,767 The library. 808 00:35:07,600 --> 00:35:08,600 Library, what for? 809 00:35:09,800 --> 00:35:10,933 To look something up. 810 00:35:12,633 --> 00:35:13,700 Then I had to talk to somebody 811 00:35:13,833 --> 00:35:14,967 -about something. -Something, somebody. 812 00:35:15,100 --> 00:35:16,167 Jesus! 813 00:35:24,067 --> 00:35:26,733 [Karen sighing] 814 00:35:30,867 --> 00:35:34,300 [discordant piano music] 815 00:35:41,700 --> 00:35:44,067 If I screwed somebody, I'd tell you. 816 00:35:45,333 --> 00:35:46,900 I haven't screwed anybody 'cause I love you, 817 00:35:47,067 --> 00:35:49,100 you stupid prick! 818 00:35:49,233 --> 00:35:51,133 I wish I didn't, but I do, right? 819 00:35:53,133 --> 00:35:53,967 I love you. 820 00:35:56,533 --> 00:35:59,700 [lightly tense music] 821 00:36:03,400 --> 00:36:06,067 [truck revving] 822 00:36:16,100 --> 00:36:18,600 [car honking] 823 00:36:22,333 --> 00:36:23,200 [tyres screeching] 824 00:36:23,333 --> 00:36:26,567 [car crashing] 825 00:36:26,700 --> 00:36:28,733 [kids shouting in distance] 826 00:36:28,867 --> 00:36:30,233 Front fastening. 827 00:36:32,267 --> 00:36:33,233 Stockings. 828 00:36:33,367 --> 00:36:34,100 [phone ringing] 829 00:36:34,233 --> 00:36:35,333 No suspenders. 830 00:36:36,433 --> 00:36:38,100 Course I'm wearing 'em. 831 00:36:38,233 --> 00:36:39,233 Crotchless. 832 00:36:39,367 --> 00:36:40,200 Shh. 833 00:36:42,133 --> 00:36:44,067 Karen, urgent call line six. 834 00:36:48,367 --> 00:36:49,667 Hello? 835 00:36:49,800 --> 00:36:50,767 [Woman] Karen Walker? 836 00:36:50,900 --> 00:36:51,900 Yes it is. 837 00:36:58,767 --> 00:37:00,133 Yes I will check for you. 838 00:37:00,267 --> 00:37:02,467 One minute, hold the line. 839 00:37:07,567 --> 00:37:09,600 No, it doesn't seem to have been entered. 840 00:37:11,567 --> 00:37:13,367 Yes, I do understand but, 841 00:37:13,500 --> 00:37:14,700 -Excuse me. -There is nothing. 842 00:37:14,833 --> 00:37:16,333 I don't know. 843 00:37:16,467 --> 00:37:19,800 No, our nurses are not computer trained. 844 00:37:24,067 --> 00:37:25,867 He's in there. 845 00:37:26,067 --> 00:37:28,800 [Woman] Understood, yes. 846 00:37:28,933 --> 00:37:30,100 Okay, goodbye. 847 00:37:34,733 --> 00:37:37,067 There's something wrong with me. 848 00:37:37,133 --> 00:37:39,100 [light music] 849 00:37:39,233 --> 00:37:40,467 [Doctor] Okay. 850 00:37:40,600 --> 00:37:44,400 * I want to hold you in my arms till I say * 851 00:37:44,533 --> 00:37:46,333 -* Turn you loose * -[Nick grunting] 852 00:37:46,467 --> 00:37:48,667 * I want to do the things for you * 853 00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:51,800 * Till you say it ain't no use * 854 00:37:51,933 --> 00:37:54,900 * I want to wake you every morning * 855 00:37:55,067 --> 00:37:57,633 * With a good morning kiss * 856 00:37:57,767 --> 00:38:00,600 * I want to kiss you to say the same way * 857 00:38:00,733 --> 00:38:03,267 * 'cause I know you like this * 858 00:38:03,400 --> 00:38:06,400 * I want to do everything for you * 859 00:38:06,533 --> 00:38:09,400 * 'cause that's all that a man can do * 860 00:38:09,533 --> 00:38:12,067 * When he loves a woman like I love you * 861 00:38:12,167 --> 00:38:14,067 * And I love you, love you * 862 00:38:14,167 --> 00:38:15,133 * Love you, love you * 863 00:38:15,267 --> 00:38:16,167 * Love you, love you * 864 00:38:16,300 --> 00:38:19,767 * Ooh wee I love you * 865 00:38:19,900 --> 00:38:23,567 * I want to say sweet things to you till you say * 866 00:38:23,700 --> 00:38:25,233 * I said enough * 867 00:38:25,367 --> 00:38:29,233 * I want to stand right by your side when the * 868 00:38:29,367 --> 00:38:30,800 * Going gets tough * 869 00:38:30,933 --> 00:38:34,733 * I want to mend your broken heart till you say * 870 00:38:34,867 --> 00:38:36,600 * The hurt is gone * 871 00:38:36,733 --> 00:38:39,100 * I wanna stay with you always * 872 00:38:39,233 --> 00:38:40,367 * So that you'd * 873 00:38:40,500 --> 00:38:42,200 [Sammy] You're playing. 874 00:38:42,333 --> 00:38:43,433 Right from the start? 875 00:38:43,567 --> 00:38:44,833 Yep. 876 00:38:44,967 --> 00:38:46,633 [Dell] For myself? 877 00:38:48,067 --> 00:38:48,900 No. 878 00:38:50,633 --> 00:38:52,067 [Dell] Where's Nick 879 00:38:52,200 --> 00:38:53,533 In the hospital. 880 00:38:55,267 --> 00:38:56,100 Yes! 881 00:38:56,933 --> 00:38:58,933 [typewriter clacking] 882 00:38:59,067 --> 00:38:59,900 Delly! 883 00:39:05,967 --> 00:39:08,400 [Karen] All the tests finished now? 884 00:39:08,533 --> 00:39:09,433 Yeah I think so. 885 00:39:10,800 --> 00:39:13,567 Countess Dracula pops in for a swift half 886 00:39:13,700 --> 00:39:16,467 now and again. 887 00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:18,067 And they've said nothing? 888 00:39:19,367 --> 00:39:20,200 Nah. 889 00:39:24,533 --> 00:39:26,200 Well they were asking about my holiday. 890 00:39:26,333 --> 00:39:30,467 What? 891 00:39:30,600 --> 00:39:32,067 Went to Africa. 892 00:39:32,133 --> 00:39:32,967 So? 893 00:39:34,833 --> 00:39:35,633 So? 894 00:39:35,767 --> 00:39:37,233 So they're testing for AIDS. 895 00:39:37,367 --> 00:39:39,300 You haven't got AIDS. 896 00:39:41,667 --> 00:39:43,133 How would you know? 897 00:39:45,067 --> 00:39:45,867 I just know. 898 00:39:47,767 --> 00:39:49,167 Why are you worrying about AIDS? 899 00:39:49,300 --> 00:39:50,133 I'm not. 900 00:39:52,767 --> 00:39:54,067 What did you get up to? 901 00:39:55,567 --> 00:39:56,667 What do you mean? 902 00:39:56,800 --> 00:39:57,700 What did you get up to on holiday? 903 00:39:57,833 --> 00:39:59,133 Nothing. 904 00:39:59,267 --> 00:40:00,400 I need a piss. 905 00:40:02,500 --> 00:40:03,600 What did you get up to? 906 00:40:03,733 --> 00:40:06,000 Look, Karen, don't discuss this now, okay? 907 00:40:15,900 --> 00:40:17,200 I can't believe he did it. 908 00:40:17,333 --> 00:40:20,367 I can't believe he screwed someone on holiday. 909 00:40:20,500 --> 00:40:21,500 [Paula] Leave him. 910 00:40:23,967 --> 00:40:25,600 Want some more tea? 911 00:40:25,733 --> 00:40:26,733 Leave him. 912 00:40:28,967 --> 00:40:29,833 I can't. 913 00:40:29,967 --> 00:40:30,800 Why not? 914 00:40:32,333 --> 00:40:33,667 I just can't, Paula. 915 00:40:33,800 --> 00:40:34,467 You're only doing it 'cause you feel sorry for him. 916 00:40:34,600 --> 00:40:35,967 I'm not doing it 'cause 917 00:40:36,100 --> 00:40:36,900 -I feel sorry for him. -Yes you are. 918 00:40:37,033 --> 00:40:38,400 You're throwing your life away. 919 00:40:38,533 --> 00:40:39,867 -You can't base a relationship- -There's nothing you can tell 920 00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:40,833 -me that I don't already know. -Listen to me, you cannot 921 00:40:40,967 --> 00:40:41,533 base a relationship on pity. 922 00:40:41,667 --> 00:40:42,500 I know that. 923 00:40:42,633 --> 00:40:44,600 You think I don't know that? 924 00:40:44,733 --> 00:40:47,700 [guests chattering] 925 00:40:50,467 --> 00:40:52,033 And we're only living with each other anyway. 926 00:40:52,167 --> 00:40:53,467 It's not as if we've thought of having kids 927 00:40:53,600 --> 00:40:55,933 or getting married or anything. 928 00:40:58,333 --> 00:40:59,533 No, just juice. 929 00:41:00,567 --> 00:41:01,367 Thanks. 930 00:41:05,100 --> 00:41:05,833 Leave him. 931 00:41:07,267 --> 00:41:10,433 [men screaming] 932 00:41:10,567 --> 00:41:12,067 Nurse? 933 00:41:12,167 --> 00:41:13,367 I've got a big problem. 934 00:41:13,500 --> 00:41:15,100 Nurse, nurse. 935 00:41:15,233 --> 00:41:18,400 [everyone chattering] 936 00:41:19,867 --> 00:41:21,133 [Nurse] Bye. 937 00:41:21,267 --> 00:41:22,200 [camera clicking] 938 00:41:22,333 --> 00:41:25,067 [typewriter clacking] 939 00:41:25,167 --> 00:41:25,867 [Tony] Steroids? 940 00:41:26,067 --> 00:41:27,367 [Nick] You know it? 941 00:41:27,500 --> 00:41:30,200 Those hairy arse Russian women take them, don't they? 942 00:41:30,333 --> 00:41:31,600 Shell potters and that. 943 00:41:31,733 --> 00:41:32,800 You know, Sammy's type. 944 00:41:32,933 --> 00:41:34,733 Hey, hey, hey, hey, it's a hospital. 945 00:41:34,867 --> 00:41:35,733 [Tony] Are they working? 946 00:41:35,867 --> 00:41:38,067 Well, I can do that now. 947 00:41:40,133 --> 00:41:41,067 [Tony] Oh, very good. 948 00:41:41,167 --> 00:41:42,367 Can you still do this though? 949 00:41:42,500 --> 00:41:44,933 [men laughing] 950 00:41:45,067 --> 00:41:46,467 What's wrong with him? 951 00:41:46,600 --> 00:41:47,733 Don't know. 952 00:41:47,867 --> 00:41:48,767 [Nick] So what you brought me now? 953 00:41:48,900 --> 00:41:49,833 [Tony] Nothing. 954 00:41:49,967 --> 00:41:51,067 Nothing? 955 00:41:51,133 --> 00:41:52,233 [Tony] Brought ourselves, haven't we? 956 00:41:52,367 --> 00:41:53,833 Ay, ya bunch of tight ass bastards. 957 00:41:53,967 --> 00:41:55,500 [George] It's valuable, our time, mate. 958 00:41:55,633 --> 00:41:56,767 That's sacrifice. 959 00:41:56,900 --> 00:41:59,067 Wouldn't mind getting a bed bath off her. 960 00:42:00,333 --> 00:42:02,467 [men laughing] 961 00:42:02,600 --> 00:42:03,800 Lying bastard. 962 00:42:03,933 --> 00:42:05,167 Twice a day if I want to. 963 00:42:05,300 --> 00:42:05,900 Bollocks. 964 00:42:06,067 --> 00:42:06,733 I'm saying. 965 00:42:06,867 --> 00:42:08,267 What's wrong with him? 966 00:42:08,400 --> 00:42:10,933 Hey, mate, he wants to know what's the matter with you. 967 00:42:11,067 --> 00:42:12,933 Tell him to mind his own bloody business. 968 00:42:13,067 --> 00:42:15,867 [men talking over each other] 969 00:42:16,067 --> 00:42:16,800 Any luck with Bridget? 970 00:42:16,933 --> 00:42:17,633 [Tony] Fun day. 971 00:42:17,767 --> 00:42:18,567 All of it bad. 972 00:42:18,700 --> 00:42:20,433 [mumbling] You know what it is? 973 00:42:20,567 --> 00:42:21,900 She knows it's gonna happen. 974 00:42:22,067 --> 00:42:25,067 And when it does, it's gonna go right off the Richter scale. 975 00:42:25,200 --> 00:42:26,967 So she's just postponing the pleasure, 976 00:42:27,100 --> 00:42:28,667 smacking her lips in anticipation. 977 00:42:28,800 --> 00:42:30,467 Otherwise, she'll have that pint over your head. 978 00:42:30,600 --> 00:42:33,667 [men laughing] 979 00:42:33,800 --> 00:42:34,767 How are you feeling, Nick? 980 00:42:34,900 --> 00:42:36,633 Much better, aye, thanks. 981 00:42:36,767 --> 00:42:38,133 When do I go home? 982 00:42:38,267 --> 00:42:40,233 Today if you like. I've asked a nurse to pop along 983 00:42:40,367 --> 00:42:41,867 and get a urethral swab. 984 00:42:42,067 --> 00:42:42,700 A what? 985 00:42:42,833 --> 00:42:43,967 It's nothing. 986 00:42:44,100 --> 00:42:45,133 The nurse will take a sample from your penis 987 00:42:45,267 --> 00:42:46,133 with a little swab. 988 00:42:46,267 --> 00:42:49,133 -[men laughing] -Okay? 989 00:42:49,267 --> 00:42:50,100 See you. 990 00:42:53,900 --> 00:42:55,467 You jammy bastard. 991 00:42:55,600 --> 00:42:57,700 Oh, no, all shrivelled up. 992 00:42:59,067 --> 00:43:00,433 Ah you're all right, 993 00:43:00,567 --> 00:43:01,400 she looks like she's got a good sense of humour, that nurse. 994 00:43:01,533 --> 00:43:02,667 And good eyesight. [laughing] 995 00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:04,067 Quick somebody tell us a dirty joke quick. 996 00:43:04,167 --> 00:43:05,900 It'll take more than a dirty joke, mate. 997 00:43:06,067 --> 00:43:08,100 You're talking a trip to Lou's, I've seen your dick. 998 00:43:08,233 --> 00:43:09,500 Yeah so is your butt. 999 00:43:09,633 --> 00:43:11,067 I surely died laughing. 1000 00:43:11,133 --> 00:43:12,700 Could do with a big black man, that nurse. 1001 00:43:12,833 --> 00:43:13,633 Kashwing! 1002 00:43:13,767 --> 00:43:16,333 [men laughing] 1003 00:43:17,467 --> 00:43:19,200 So, Nick, we'll get this little sample done 1004 00:43:19,333 --> 00:43:20,933 and you can be on your way back home. 1005 00:43:21,067 --> 00:43:26,067 -[men laughing] -[men chattering] 1006 00:43:35,167 --> 00:43:38,167 [light piano music] 1007 00:43:39,600 --> 00:43:40,600 All right. 1008 00:43:43,167 --> 00:43:44,067 See ya. 1009 00:43:46,900 --> 00:43:47,767 [Karen] Here. 1010 00:43:47,900 --> 00:43:48,700 [Nick] No. 1011 00:43:48,833 --> 00:43:49,600 -Come on. -Give me that. 1012 00:43:49,733 --> 00:43:51,167 -Give it, heh? -Stupid. 1013 00:43:51,300 --> 00:43:52,133 It's me. 1014 00:43:55,300 --> 00:43:56,133 Come on. 1015 00:44:16,767 --> 00:44:21,767 What is it? 1016 00:44:24,500 --> 00:44:26,067 I pissed myself. 1017 00:44:27,800 --> 00:44:30,400 [Karen] Don't worry about it. 1018 00:44:45,333 --> 00:44:47,833 And this will go on your penis. 1019 00:44:47,967 --> 00:44:49,400 Small, medium or large? 1020 00:44:52,100 --> 00:44:52,933 Medium? 1021 00:44:54,133 --> 00:44:56,400 [both chuckling] 1022 00:44:56,533 --> 00:44:59,367 [water splashing] 1023 00:45:02,067 --> 00:45:05,067 [light reggae music] 1024 00:45:34,167 --> 00:45:35,067 Nick? 1025 00:45:38,500 --> 00:45:39,467 Didn't you hear me? 1026 00:45:39,600 --> 00:45:40,433 No. 1027 00:45:42,733 --> 00:45:44,200 What happened here? 1028 00:45:46,100 --> 00:45:49,933 Multiple Sclerosis Self Help Guide. 1029 00:45:53,233 --> 00:45:54,667 One foot down the hole. 1030 00:46:01,900 --> 00:46:03,100 We don't know it's MS. 1031 00:46:04,533 --> 00:46:05,733 It's MS. 1032 00:46:05,867 --> 00:46:07,100 [Karen] It might be MS. 1033 00:46:08,600 --> 00:46:10,300 So who else knows? 1034 00:46:10,433 --> 00:46:12,100 No one, just the doctors and- 1035 00:46:12,233 --> 00:46:13,067 And? 1036 00:46:14,633 --> 00:46:16,567 I had to let them know in work. 1037 00:46:17,700 --> 00:46:18,500 Charlie. 1038 00:46:20,300 --> 00:46:21,433 He's my boss. 1039 00:46:22,367 --> 00:46:25,200 [bottle clanging] 1040 00:46:29,067 --> 00:46:30,067 Come here. 1041 00:46:30,200 --> 00:46:34,267 Jesus Christ, Karen. [sobbing] 1042 00:46:34,400 --> 00:46:36,800 [sombre piano music] 1043 00:46:36,933 --> 00:46:37,833 I love you. 1044 00:46:40,767 --> 00:46:41,667 I love you. 1045 00:46:46,100 --> 00:46:50,167 This piece in the paper once about Ronnie Lane. 1046 00:46:51,333 --> 00:46:52,167 Remember him? 1047 00:46:53,467 --> 00:46:54,567 [Karen] No. 1048 00:46:59,200 --> 00:47:00,833 He used to play guitar for the Faces, 1049 00:47:00,967 --> 00:47:02,767 you know, Rod Stewart's old group. 1050 00:47:02,900 --> 00:47:05,467 Made a couple of solo albums himself, this braggart. 1051 00:47:08,767 --> 00:47:10,167 Anyway this bit in the paper 1052 00:47:12,067 --> 00:47:13,433 said he had MS. 1053 00:47:16,333 --> 00:47:17,333 And I always knew what MS was 1054 00:47:17,467 --> 00:47:19,433 but who knew I would get it. 1055 00:47:21,700 --> 00:47:24,167 Couple weeks later there was a bigger article 1056 00:47:25,467 --> 00:47:27,967 about how Rod Stewart and the rest of the band 1057 00:47:28,100 --> 00:47:30,400 were getting together to do a charity concert. 1058 00:47:33,067 --> 00:47:35,067 I remember thinking that was really nice. 1059 00:47:39,067 --> 00:47:42,633 And then held out on your lean after that. 1060 00:47:45,067 --> 00:47:49,133 Yeah I've always wondered whether Rod still keeps in touch. 1061 00:47:59,067 --> 00:48:00,533 It won't be MS. 1062 00:48:03,900 --> 00:48:05,833 It'll be something else. 1063 00:48:07,867 --> 00:48:08,700 Aye. 1064 00:48:11,667 --> 00:48:15,633 -[light electronic music] -* Three * 1065 00:48:15,767 --> 00:48:20,767 * My lucky number * 1066 00:48:21,400 --> 00:48:24,267 * And fortune * 1067 00:48:24,400 --> 00:48:29,100 * Comes in threes * 1068 00:48:29,233 --> 00:48:31,333 * But we * 1069 00:48:33,333 --> 00:48:38,300 -* Are we like numbers * -[keyboard clacking] 1070 00:48:39,233 --> 00:48:42,267 * That even little children * 1071 00:48:42,400 --> 00:48:45,433 * Seem to see * 1072 00:48:45,567 --> 00:48:47,367 No results here, I'm afraid. 1073 00:48:48,433 --> 00:48:50,467 Besides being a bit of a cockup. 1074 00:48:50,600 --> 00:48:51,400 Can you make 1075 00:48:59,567 --> 00:49:00,667 four weeks today? 1076 00:49:02,133 --> 00:49:03,300 Four weeks? 1077 00:49:04,500 --> 00:49:07,133 But I'm on holiday next week, you see? 1078 00:49:07,267 --> 00:49:09,500 Well can you telephone us before you go? 1079 00:49:10,967 --> 00:49:12,933 That'll be difficult, I'm afraid. 1080 00:49:13,067 --> 00:49:13,900 Please? 1081 00:49:16,567 --> 00:49:17,400 Wanker. 1082 00:49:22,433 --> 00:49:26,500 * And when I knew nothing at all * 1083 00:49:29,467 --> 00:49:32,900 [Nick breathing heavily] 1084 00:49:43,800 --> 00:49:44,633 Shit! 1085 00:49:47,500 --> 00:49:49,233 However, high pressure is the theme 1086 00:49:49,367 --> 00:49:50,967 for the next several days 1087 00:49:51,100 --> 00:49:52,667 drifting slowly northwards. 1088 00:49:52,800 --> 00:49:55,633 That means winds will turn into the northwest. 1089 00:49:55,767 --> 00:49:57,800 Says here cannabis might help. 1090 00:49:57,933 --> 00:49:59,333 [Weatherman] But it stays actually dry. 1091 00:49:59,467 --> 00:50:01,467 But then behind this one, much cooler air 1092 00:50:01,600 --> 00:50:02,633 will spread down. 1093 00:50:02,767 --> 00:50:03,467 It might help. 1094 00:50:03,600 --> 00:50:04,800 Hmm. 1095 00:50:04,933 --> 00:50:05,967 [Weatherman] And that'll bring frost 1096 00:50:06,100 --> 00:50:07,467 around central eastern parts of Britain 1097 00:50:07,600 --> 00:50:09,467 on the cloudy cool Saturday 1098 00:50:09,600 --> 00:50:10,400 over there at the west. 1099 00:50:10,533 --> 00:50:12,100 Probably though, mainly fine. 1100 00:50:14,800 --> 00:50:15,700 Hello. 1101 00:50:15,833 --> 00:50:16,667 What a friend. 1102 00:50:20,467 --> 00:50:23,067 [Tony snoring] 1103 00:50:29,167 --> 00:50:30,167 Tony. 1104 00:50:30,300 --> 00:50:31,133 Tony. 1105 00:50:32,700 --> 00:50:33,500 [Tony snoring] 1106 00:50:33,633 --> 00:50:37,033 [Karen and Nick laughing] 1107 00:50:40,233 --> 00:50:42,900 [phone ringing] 1108 00:50:44,600 --> 00:50:47,500 [sombre music] 1109 00:50:47,633 --> 00:50:49,367 Yeah, I understand. 1110 00:50:52,733 --> 00:50:53,533 Yeah. 1111 00:50:58,767 --> 00:51:00,133 I have heard of them, yes. 1112 00:51:10,800 --> 00:51:11,633 Well? 1113 00:51:14,467 --> 00:51:15,400 They've ruled everything else out. 1114 00:51:15,533 --> 00:51:17,367 All that's left is MS. 1115 00:51:21,900 --> 00:51:23,467 Is that all he said? 1116 00:51:27,733 --> 00:51:28,833 Well he gave me the number 1117 00:51:28,967 --> 00:51:30,533 to the multiple sclerosis society. 1118 00:51:39,200 --> 00:51:40,767 What's for dinner? 1119 00:51:40,900 --> 00:51:41,800 Pasta and salad. 1120 00:51:45,067 --> 00:51:46,567 There's cheesecake for afters. 1121 00:51:49,667 --> 00:51:50,467 You spoil me. 1122 00:51:51,933 --> 00:51:55,967 [Announcer talking indistinctly] 1123 00:52:06,900 --> 00:52:07,733 Hi, mommy. 1124 00:52:09,933 --> 00:52:11,633 You're here. 1125 00:52:11,767 --> 00:52:13,100 Good to see you. 1126 00:52:14,933 --> 00:52:19,933 This MS, or multiple sclerosis. 1127 00:52:21,233 --> 00:52:22,233 Are you gonna die? 1128 00:52:22,367 --> 00:52:23,200 Julie. 1129 00:52:24,867 --> 00:52:25,667 What's gonna happen? 1130 00:52:25,800 --> 00:52:26,600 Julie, will you keep it shut? 1131 00:52:26,733 --> 00:52:27,567 It's all right. 1132 00:52:30,867 --> 00:52:32,067 Well we don't know yet. 1133 00:52:33,400 --> 00:52:36,700 At worst, end up in a wheelchair. 1134 00:52:36,833 --> 00:52:40,567 Or I might just fall a few times, you know, 1135 00:52:40,700 --> 00:52:42,267 drop things, get a bit clumsy. 1136 00:52:45,967 --> 00:52:46,967 We got you these 1137 00:52:48,533 --> 00:52:50,667 to help you understand a bit more about it. 1138 00:52:51,900 --> 00:52:52,567 Right. 1139 00:52:52,700 --> 00:52:53,800 Can I see one? 1140 00:52:56,833 --> 00:52:57,633 Thanks. 1141 00:52:58,900 --> 00:52:59,867 Can murder a pint. 1142 00:53:01,733 --> 00:53:04,733 * It was an unruly night * 1143 00:53:04,867 --> 00:53:08,433 * Stars shining bright * 1144 00:53:08,567 --> 00:53:11,133 * Whispered oh I * 1145 00:53:11,267 --> 00:53:13,067 * Love to say goodbye * 1146 00:53:13,200 --> 00:53:14,467 No alcohol! 1147 00:53:14,600 --> 00:53:15,800 What was that like? 1148 00:53:15,933 --> 00:53:16,933 It's crap. 1149 00:53:18,100 --> 00:53:20,067 So you're off the baby for good then? 1150 00:53:21,467 --> 00:53:23,367 We'll just black out these desi smells, you know? 1151 00:53:23,500 --> 00:53:25,300 Takes me eight pounds to get them. 1152 00:53:25,433 --> 00:53:26,600 Chris. 1153 00:53:26,733 --> 00:53:27,533 [Chris] Sorry. 1154 00:53:27,667 --> 00:53:29,267 It's not bloody fair, son. 1155 00:53:29,400 --> 00:53:31,300 Well it's not the end of the world, dad. 1156 00:53:31,433 --> 00:53:33,467 You're fighting it? 1157 00:53:33,600 --> 00:53:36,367 Yeah, well what do you think? 1158 00:53:36,500 --> 00:53:38,400 It's not bloody fair. 1159 00:53:40,800 --> 00:53:41,500 Same again, yeah? 1160 00:53:41,633 --> 00:53:43,133 Yeah, another shot. 1161 00:53:50,067 --> 00:53:51,567 You got everything you need? 1162 00:53:54,500 --> 00:53:55,400 Night. 1163 00:53:55,533 --> 00:53:56,367 Night. 1164 00:54:00,067 --> 00:54:02,600 Are you still gonna be able to have babies? 1165 00:54:02,733 --> 00:54:03,533 I hope so. 1166 00:54:06,100 --> 00:54:07,067 Night. 1167 00:54:07,167 --> 00:54:09,400 Can I watch the telly? 1168 00:54:09,533 --> 00:54:10,533 Of course. 1169 00:54:11,767 --> 00:54:12,600 Night. 1170 00:54:13,967 --> 00:54:18,967 * If you love me half as much as I love you * 1171 00:54:23,500 --> 00:54:25,200 You don't want to come back home, son? 1172 00:54:25,333 --> 00:54:26,333 [Nick] No. 1173 00:54:28,267 --> 00:54:29,867 I want you home. 1174 00:54:30,067 --> 00:54:31,233 [Nick] Mommy, no. 1175 00:54:31,367 --> 00:54:33,633 Nick, I'm not stupid. 1176 00:54:35,233 --> 00:54:37,833 I know that would be the worst thing for you because 1177 00:54:39,667 --> 00:54:40,767 I would smother you. 1178 00:54:43,267 --> 00:54:44,733 I wouldn't let you move, eh? 1179 00:54:47,600 --> 00:54:50,067 But that's just the way I am, Nick, hmm? 1180 00:54:52,433 --> 00:54:54,700 You're still my baby. 1181 00:54:55,767 --> 00:54:56,600 [Dad] Son. 1182 00:55:01,600 --> 00:55:03,067 Bag's full. 1183 00:55:03,167 --> 00:55:04,633 What? 1184 00:55:04,767 --> 00:55:05,467 [Nick] My bag's full. 1185 00:55:05,600 --> 00:55:06,633 I'll come with you. 1186 00:55:06,767 --> 00:55:07,733 [Nick] I can manage on my own. 1187 00:55:07,867 --> 00:55:08,867 Where's he going? 1188 00:55:09,067 --> 00:55:10,567 [Chris] His bag's full. 1189 00:55:10,700 --> 00:55:11,667 Sure you're all right? 1190 00:55:11,800 --> 00:55:12,767 I can manage on my own. 1191 00:55:12,900 --> 00:55:13,833 What bag? 1192 00:55:14,900 --> 00:55:16,167 My urine bag. 1193 00:55:18,800 --> 00:55:22,133 * Whatever be this blue * 1194 00:55:23,700 --> 00:55:24,800 Ugh, Jesus! 1195 00:55:27,833 --> 00:55:29,533 You all right in there, Nick? 1196 00:55:30,833 --> 00:55:31,800 Gas. 1197 00:55:31,933 --> 00:55:33,233 What? 1198 00:55:33,367 --> 00:55:35,667 It's full of gas from the beer. 1199 00:55:35,800 --> 00:55:36,967 Gas? 1200 00:55:37,100 --> 00:55:38,233 [Chris] Something to do with the tube he's got 1201 00:55:38,367 --> 00:55:39,267 running down his leg. 1202 00:55:39,400 --> 00:55:40,600 [Nick] Stupid shit! 1203 00:55:40,733 --> 00:55:41,867 [Dad] Oh my god! 1204 00:55:42,067 --> 00:55:43,233 Ah! 1205 00:55:43,367 --> 00:55:44,500 [Dad] Oh for God's sake! 1206 00:55:44,633 --> 00:55:46,967 Nick, what are you doing?! 1207 00:55:52,300 --> 00:55:56,067 [men singing and chattering] 1208 00:56:07,500 --> 00:56:09,267 How you doing, Karen, you all right? 1209 00:56:09,400 --> 00:56:11,867 Have you any scrannin or the chippies of short? 1210 00:56:12,067 --> 00:56:12,900 Yeah, help yourself. 1211 00:56:13,067 --> 00:56:13,867 Cheers. 1212 00:56:17,233 --> 00:56:18,067 You all right? 1213 00:56:19,067 --> 00:56:19,900 Hunky dory. 1214 00:56:23,100 --> 00:56:24,667 It should have been me, girl. 1215 00:56:25,567 --> 00:56:26,767 It should have been me. 1216 00:56:37,100 --> 00:56:37,900 Night now. 1217 00:56:40,433 --> 00:56:42,100 Wanna help an old cripple? 1218 00:56:58,833 --> 00:57:00,200 Walk to me, son. 1219 00:57:01,800 --> 00:57:02,633 Come on. 1220 00:57:05,700 --> 00:57:06,633 Get out of that bed 1221 00:57:08,200 --> 00:57:09,433 and walk to me. 1222 00:57:12,200 --> 00:57:14,700 Throw away your bloody sticks. 1223 00:57:16,200 --> 00:57:17,533 Go to bed, da. 1224 00:57:25,167 --> 00:57:27,733 [sombre music] 1225 00:57:34,733 --> 00:57:36,767 [Nick sighing] 1226 00:57:36,900 --> 00:57:38,767 [crowd applauding] 1227 00:57:38,900 --> 00:57:42,933 The ever present award goes to George, our goalkeeper. 1228 00:57:45,267 --> 00:57:47,633 Sure his cross is a bit like Dracula would. 1229 00:57:47,767 --> 00:57:51,100 Missed just one game all season, from a back injury 1230 00:57:51,233 --> 00:57:52,633 probably brought on through picking the ball 1231 00:57:52,767 --> 00:57:54,400 out of the back of the net the previous game. 1232 00:57:54,533 --> 00:57:57,533 [everyone laughing] 1233 00:58:02,233 --> 00:58:05,067 What do you think of that diet? 1234 00:58:06,067 --> 00:58:06,833 What? 1235 00:58:09,867 --> 00:58:11,100 The diet. 1236 00:58:11,233 --> 00:58:13,233 In the book, the essential fatty acid diet. 1237 00:58:15,233 --> 00:58:16,767 A bit too much of hard work. 1238 00:58:17,900 --> 00:58:18,700 We should give it a try, though. 1239 00:58:18,833 --> 00:58:20,300 Eh, whatever. 1240 00:58:22,300 --> 00:58:23,500 We should make a list of the foods 1241 00:58:23,633 --> 00:58:24,967 that we can and can't eat. 1242 00:58:26,967 --> 00:58:28,433 We? 1243 00:58:28,567 --> 00:58:29,367 Sorry? 1244 00:58:29,500 --> 00:58:31,067 You keep saying we all the time. 1245 00:58:32,133 --> 00:58:33,733 Well I'm not gonna talk into steak and chips 1246 00:58:33,867 --> 00:58:36,767 while you're eating cabbage and bean sprouts, am I? 1247 00:58:36,900 --> 00:58:37,733 Is that right? 1248 00:58:46,533 --> 00:58:48,533 What are you thinking? 1249 00:58:49,833 --> 00:58:50,800 Oh, nothing. 1250 00:58:53,500 --> 00:58:54,167 What about music? 1251 00:58:54,300 --> 00:58:55,367 I'll do that. 1252 00:58:55,500 --> 00:58:57,133 -What do you want? -Jesus Christ, Karen. 1253 00:58:57,267 --> 00:58:58,267 Sorry. 1254 00:59:04,167 --> 00:59:08,100 * Since you took your love away * 1255 00:59:09,767 --> 00:59:12,200 I'm not going back to work. 1256 00:59:13,600 --> 00:59:14,967 I know. 1257 00:59:15,100 --> 00:59:18,100 So how do we pay the rent? 1258 00:59:18,233 --> 00:59:19,067 We don't. 1259 00:59:19,933 --> 00:59:21,300 We can't stay here anymore. 1260 00:59:23,767 --> 00:59:24,700 Why not? 1261 00:59:24,833 --> 00:59:26,133 There's too many stairs. 1262 00:59:29,667 --> 00:59:31,767 What do you think about moving to Glasgow? 1263 00:59:32,700 --> 00:59:33,933 Glasgow? 1264 00:59:34,067 --> 00:59:34,900 Hmm. 1265 00:59:36,533 --> 00:59:38,233 We could ask your family to keep their eyes open 1266 00:59:38,367 --> 00:59:39,900 for a place. And I could get a job. 1267 00:59:40,067 --> 00:59:44,067 I'm sure Charlie could give a good reference. 1268 00:59:44,133 --> 00:59:45,367 What? 1269 00:59:45,500 --> 00:59:46,567 No, I get it. 1270 00:59:46,700 --> 00:59:48,333 Don't need to explain, you know, Glasgow. 1271 00:59:48,467 --> 00:59:50,433 Hello, Mr. And Mrs. Cameron. 1272 00:59:50,567 --> 00:59:51,533 I brought your son back. 1273 00:59:51,667 --> 00:59:52,900 You look after him. 1274 00:59:53,067 --> 00:59:53,900 -Sorry I've been -That's not what I meant, 1275 00:59:54,067 --> 00:59:55,433 -Nick. -put on you like this. 1276 00:59:55,567 --> 00:59:56,833 -That's not what I meant! -I've got to pass on back. 1277 00:59:56,967 --> 00:59:57,967 -I've got a better good job -I didn't mean that! 1278 00:59:58,100 --> 00:59:59,200 -Doing this job again! -Jesus, Nick! 1279 00:59:59,333 --> 01:00:00,033 Fuck you! 1280 01:00:00,167 --> 01:00:01,367 Fucking bollocks! 1281 01:00:03,933 --> 01:00:07,433 * Nothing compares to you * 1282 01:00:10,900 --> 01:00:12,933 I know how hard it is for him. 1283 01:00:14,433 --> 01:00:15,633 He's the one who's sick. 1284 01:00:19,300 --> 01:00:21,167 But in a way, it's easy. 1285 01:00:21,300 --> 01:00:22,100 There's a lot of him 1286 01:00:22,233 --> 01:00:26,133 because he's got no choice. 1287 01:00:27,733 --> 01:00:29,033 He's gotta get on with it. 1288 01:00:33,200 --> 01:00:35,167 But I do have a choice. 1289 01:00:36,400 --> 01:00:37,500 I could leave him. 1290 01:00:40,267 --> 01:00:43,167 I don't want to leave him, it'd be hard to leave him, but 1291 01:00:44,300 --> 01:00:45,433 I could leave him. 1292 01:00:48,833 --> 01:00:49,967 And that's hard. 1293 01:00:53,833 --> 01:00:55,800 It's harder than just having to get on with it. 1294 01:00:55,933 --> 01:00:56,733 Karen. 1295 01:00:58,033 --> 01:00:59,333 Stop worrying about Nick. 1296 01:01:03,700 --> 01:01:04,467 Come here. 1297 01:01:07,933 --> 01:01:09,433 [both chuckling] 1298 01:01:09,567 --> 01:01:10,600 Remember me? 1299 01:01:10,733 --> 01:01:11,833 [Karen] Yeah. 1300 01:01:11,967 --> 01:01:13,200 I remember you. 1301 01:01:15,267 --> 01:01:16,400 [light reggae music] 1302 01:01:16,533 --> 01:01:21,100 * I remember when we used to sit * 1303 01:01:22,833 --> 01:01:26,400 * In the government down in Trenchtown * 1304 01:01:26,533 --> 01:01:28,067 [Nick] Any luck with Bridget? 1305 01:01:28,200 --> 01:01:29,200 [Tony] No. 1306 01:01:33,300 --> 01:01:34,133 Shit. 1307 01:01:37,900 --> 01:01:38,967 Same again? 1308 01:01:39,100 --> 01:01:40,500 -No, I'll get it. -No, no, I'll get 'em. 1309 01:01:40,633 --> 01:01:41,833 No man, it's my round. 1310 01:01:49,567 --> 01:01:50,367 Shit. 1311 01:01:56,667 --> 01:01:57,433 What? 1312 01:01:58,567 --> 01:02:01,067 Don't fucking patronise me, Tony, okay? 1313 01:02:01,200 --> 01:02:02,233 I don't know what you're talking about. 1314 01:02:02,367 --> 01:02:03,167 What?! 1315 01:02:06,600 --> 01:02:08,433 I wanna be told to get my round on. 1316 01:02:11,300 --> 01:02:12,133 I want... 1317 01:02:15,267 --> 01:02:17,100 I want a bit of stick! 1318 01:02:19,133 --> 01:02:21,567 And I want a pastin on there. 1319 01:02:22,500 --> 01:02:23,333 Cause... 1320 01:02:26,067 --> 01:02:28,567 'Cause I'm still the fucking same up here. 1321 01:02:34,733 --> 01:02:36,300 I'm still the same. 1322 01:02:44,667 --> 01:02:47,233 [cue clacking] 1323 01:02:48,233 --> 01:02:49,067 Bollocks. 1324 01:03:03,067 --> 01:03:03,800 Leave it. 1325 01:03:26,667 --> 01:03:28,700 I could send the van around, 1326 01:03:28,833 --> 01:03:29,833 pick up your stuff. 1327 01:03:31,200 --> 01:03:33,800 You don't even have to see him. 1328 01:03:37,500 --> 01:03:40,100 No, I shouldn't even be here. 1329 01:03:48,467 --> 01:03:49,300 Heel. 1330 01:03:51,267 --> 01:03:52,333 [Nick grunting] 1331 01:03:52,467 --> 01:03:53,200 Heel. 1332 01:03:53,333 --> 01:03:54,167 Oh, piss off. 1333 01:03:56,067 --> 01:03:57,133 Put your weight forward. 1334 01:03:57,267 --> 01:03:59,200 -Oh, piss off, Karen. -Heel. 1335 01:04:00,433 --> 01:04:01,267 Heel. 1336 01:04:05,767 --> 01:04:06,433 Heel. 1337 01:04:06,567 --> 01:04:07,367 Oh, fuck off! 1338 01:04:07,500 --> 01:04:09,467 Put your fucking heel down! 1339 01:04:09,600 --> 01:04:10,433 Heel! 1340 01:04:11,700 --> 01:04:12,533 Heel. 1341 01:04:15,867 --> 01:04:17,133 Does it affect his nudger? 1342 01:04:17,267 --> 01:04:18,767 I wanted his place in the team 1343 01:04:18,900 --> 01:04:20,867 but not like this. 1344 01:04:21,067 --> 01:04:22,167 Now I'm messing out of me! 1345 01:04:22,300 --> 01:04:23,633 Does it affect his nudger? 1346 01:04:23,767 --> 01:04:26,367 The stick I gave him when he missed that sitter. 1347 01:04:26,500 --> 01:04:28,067 I thought he missed it 'cause he was crap. 1348 01:04:28,200 --> 01:04:28,967 He was. 1349 01:04:29,100 --> 01:04:30,100 He was sick. 1350 01:04:30,233 --> 01:04:31,333 Sick and crap. 1351 01:04:31,467 --> 01:04:33,333 It's pointy, isn't it, affect his nudger. 1352 01:04:33,467 --> 01:04:35,067 The quickie's out of the window, he says. 1353 01:04:35,133 --> 01:04:36,233 The quickie? 1354 01:04:36,367 --> 01:04:38,667 You know, sudden urge, rip up her knickers. 1355 01:04:38,800 --> 01:04:41,167 Wham bam thank you ma'am. 1356 01:04:41,300 --> 01:04:43,267 That way is out he reckons. 1357 01:04:43,400 --> 01:04:44,867 What's the other way? 1358 01:04:45,067 --> 01:04:47,500 [light music] 1359 01:04:49,100 --> 01:04:52,067 * Woman tell me where did you learn * 1360 01:04:52,200 --> 01:04:56,233 * To handle a man with so much ease * 1361 01:04:56,367 --> 01:04:58,733 * After all of his life * 1362 01:04:58,867 --> 01:05:02,733 * He's been used to doing like he pleased yeah * 1363 01:05:02,867 --> 01:05:05,500 * You've got me doing all the good things * 1364 01:05:05,633 --> 01:05:08,567 * That a man's supposed to do * 1365 01:05:08,700 --> 01:05:11,433 * I know a lot of men who wish to have * 1366 01:05:11,567 --> 01:05:14,133 * A sweet little woman like you * 1367 01:05:14,267 --> 01:05:18,933 * 'Cause you're kind is so hard to find * 1368 01:05:22,267 --> 01:05:25,067 [balls clacking] 1369 01:05:27,900 --> 01:05:29,400 Most people running on to the pitch 1370 01:05:29,533 --> 01:05:31,633 think it's all over. 1371 01:05:34,067 --> 01:05:34,867 It is now. 1372 01:05:35,733 --> 01:05:37,467 -Yes it is. -Yeah! 1373 01:05:37,600 --> 01:05:38,933 He can put them away. 1374 01:05:39,067 --> 01:05:41,367 All he needed was a smaller fix! [laughing] 1375 01:05:41,500 --> 01:05:43,367 Cheers, Sammy. 1376 01:05:43,500 --> 01:05:44,333 Shit. 1377 01:05:49,633 --> 01:05:51,267 Remission. 1378 01:05:51,400 --> 01:05:54,967 That could be last for the rest of my life. 1379 01:05:56,867 --> 01:06:00,067 [sombre piano music] 1380 01:06:45,967 --> 01:06:46,800 Karen. 1381 01:06:49,900 --> 01:06:51,467 My hands have gone. 1382 01:06:55,200 --> 01:06:56,800 My hands have gone. 1383 01:07:01,400 --> 01:07:02,400 Come here. 1384 01:07:08,700 --> 01:07:11,067 [R&B music] 1385 01:07:30,267 --> 01:07:31,700 Miserable shit. 1386 01:07:37,067 --> 01:07:38,133 Medical science. 1387 01:07:41,733 --> 01:07:42,567 Millstone. 1388 01:07:46,067 --> 01:07:47,533 Murder suspect, good. 1389 01:07:48,967 --> 01:07:51,967 You're not doing him any favours at all. 1390 01:07:52,100 --> 01:07:55,200 Sean, she is not helping. 1391 01:07:57,233 --> 01:08:00,267 Where's my cup of coffee? 1392 01:08:00,400 --> 01:08:01,500 He's given up, Nick. 1393 01:08:03,833 --> 01:08:05,300 Marmot summages. 1394 01:08:09,900 --> 01:08:11,067 Monstrous sex. 1395 01:08:16,100 --> 01:08:18,933 Missus Spanker. [laughing] 1396 01:08:21,433 --> 01:08:22,633 Hello. 1397 01:08:22,767 --> 01:08:25,400 I know that look you gave me. 1398 01:08:26,900 --> 01:08:31,100 You think it's my fault that it's beaten me! 1399 01:08:32,500 --> 01:08:33,333 It isn't! 1400 01:08:34,867 --> 01:08:35,967 It's bad enough being like this 1401 01:08:36,100 --> 01:08:39,300 without you thinking I'm somehow to blame. 1402 01:08:44,567 --> 01:08:45,400 Right. 1403 01:08:57,733 --> 01:08:58,933 * I need you here * 1404 01:08:59,067 --> 01:09:02,067 * And that is the reason * 1405 01:09:02,167 --> 01:09:04,833 [door creaking] 1406 01:09:07,800 --> 01:09:10,667 * Lion strides * 1407 01:09:10,800 --> 01:09:13,533 * 12 tribes * 1408 01:09:13,667 --> 01:09:16,800 * It takes a second to reckon * 1409 01:09:16,933 --> 01:09:18,267 [camera clicking] 1410 01:09:18,400 --> 01:09:21,333 Come on, you're a player, not a bloody net, huh! 1411 01:09:21,467 --> 01:09:24,567 My grandmother could have caught that, Christ! 1412 01:09:24,700 --> 01:09:27,667 Look, we haven't lost since you packed it in, 1413 01:09:27,800 --> 01:09:28,733 so what does that prove? 1414 01:09:28,867 --> 01:09:29,967 Pus. 1415 01:09:30,100 --> 01:09:31,067 [Tony] That proves you were crap. 1416 01:09:31,200 --> 01:09:32,067 Bollocks. 1417 01:09:32,200 --> 01:09:34,833 Plate six, one four, grand two. 1418 01:09:36,367 --> 01:09:37,467 Are you having a piss? 1419 01:09:39,433 --> 01:09:41,167 Are you pissing in that bag? 1420 01:09:41,300 --> 01:09:42,433 No. 1421 01:09:42,567 --> 01:09:43,900 Well don't. 1422 01:09:44,067 --> 01:09:45,067 Don't have a piss when I'm talking to you, right? 1423 01:09:45,200 --> 01:09:47,167 You played nothing. 1424 01:09:47,300 --> 01:09:48,533 We've played Napier. 1425 01:09:48,667 --> 01:09:50,267 Stuffed four and O with you in the team 1426 01:09:50,400 --> 01:09:51,733 and drew two all without you. 1427 01:09:51,867 --> 01:09:53,533 Any luck with Bridget, might you? 1428 01:09:53,667 --> 01:09:55,100 Don't change the subject. 1429 01:09:55,233 --> 01:09:56,067 Meaning no. 1430 01:09:56,167 --> 01:09:57,733 Ah, it's just a matter of time. 1431 01:09:57,867 --> 01:09:58,667 No chance. 1432 01:09:58,800 --> 01:10:00,067 I have more chance than you. 1433 01:10:00,200 --> 01:10:01,300 At least I can still get a stiff one, 1434 01:10:01,433 --> 01:10:02,133 you know what I mean? 1435 01:10:02,267 --> 01:10:03,300 Ah well so can I! 1436 01:10:03,433 --> 01:10:04,733 Bollocks! 1437 01:10:04,867 --> 01:10:06,233 Oh, Jeff's missing. 1438 01:10:06,367 --> 01:10:09,067 Should be around your place giving Karen one. 1439 01:10:09,200 --> 01:10:10,867 You're a sad case. 1440 01:10:11,000 --> 01:10:12,500 You're ugly, right? 1441 01:10:12,633 --> 01:10:13,767 You're ugly, you're skin, 1442 01:10:13,900 --> 01:10:15,833 you're a four eyed fricking spaz. 1443 01:10:15,967 --> 01:10:17,233 The only thing you had going for you 1444 01:10:17,367 --> 01:10:18,467 was the occasional stiff one 1445 01:10:18,600 --> 01:10:20,600 and now you can't even give her that. 1446 01:10:20,733 --> 01:10:22,167 But we're mates, eh? 1447 01:10:22,300 --> 01:10:23,500 We'll organise a bit of a roda, 1448 01:10:23,633 --> 01:10:25,900 take it in turns to port round and slip her one. 1449 01:10:26,033 --> 01:10:27,200 We'll keep Karen happy, 1450 01:10:27,333 --> 01:10:28,700 you can do the biz with that other spaz 1451 01:10:28,833 --> 01:10:30,100 in the park gates, right? 1452 01:10:32,600 --> 01:10:33,433 Aye. 1453 01:10:34,433 --> 01:10:36,267 [sombre music] 1454 01:10:36,400 --> 01:10:37,233 What? 1455 01:10:42,467 --> 01:10:45,467 I'm giving you a bit of stick, that's all. 1456 01:10:47,700 --> 01:10:50,100 He said he wanted a bit of stick! 1457 01:10:54,133 --> 01:10:55,067 WE're going for a pint now 1458 01:10:55,200 --> 01:10:57,100 you tight-fisted, four eyed git. 1459 01:11:30,733 --> 01:11:31,567 I lied. 1460 01:11:34,433 --> 01:11:35,533 What about? 1461 01:11:37,700 --> 01:11:38,967 About my holiday. 1462 01:11:40,867 --> 01:11:41,700 In Africa. 1463 01:11:43,067 --> 01:11:44,867 Look, I did a lot of shagging while I was out there, 1464 01:11:45,067 --> 01:11:46,500 not just the one time, 1465 01:11:47,500 --> 01:11:49,067 but lost of times, lots. 1466 01:11:51,067 --> 01:11:52,333 Lots of times and that's why I thought 1467 01:11:52,467 --> 01:11:53,800 they were testing for AIDS. 1468 01:11:55,833 --> 01:11:57,267 I don't believe you. 1469 01:11:57,400 --> 01:11:59,500 Ask any of the lads. 1470 01:11:59,633 --> 01:12:01,700 Why are you telling me now? 1471 01:12:01,833 --> 01:12:04,233 'Cause I want you to leave. 1472 01:12:07,967 --> 01:12:11,867 I'm getting a bit sick of you, actually. 1473 01:12:12,067 --> 01:12:14,900 Getting a bit sick of the way that you just... 1474 01:12:16,100 --> 01:12:18,833 You just keep taking charge all the time. 1475 01:12:20,300 --> 01:12:22,567 I mean you've got me just exactly where you want me, 1476 01:12:22,700 --> 01:12:23,767 you got me like this! 1477 01:12:25,300 --> 01:12:27,167 Christ, totally at your mercy 1478 01:12:27,300 --> 01:12:29,500 and you can just piss off anytime you like 1479 01:12:29,633 --> 01:12:31,067 and have a shag with Charlie 1480 01:12:31,167 --> 01:12:33,433 and then you'd come back to me. 1481 01:12:33,567 --> 01:12:35,067 Be all the neighbours gone or what- 1482 01:12:35,167 --> 01:12:36,767 I went to Glasgow, Nick! 1483 01:12:36,900 --> 01:12:39,067 -Budded he must be for that- -We're going to Glasgow 1484 01:12:39,133 --> 01:12:40,600 so how could I have a quick shag 1485 01:12:40,733 --> 01:12:41,633 -with Charlie? -What an age, 1486 01:12:41,767 --> 01:12:42,933 oh well no way, right? 1487 01:12:45,533 --> 01:12:46,367 No way. 1488 01:12:51,233 --> 01:12:52,067 No way. 1489 01:12:57,433 --> 01:12:58,500 I'm staying. 1490 01:13:05,167 --> 01:13:06,767 I know why you're doing this. 1491 01:13:07,967 --> 01:13:10,067 -This is my flat, right? -You're doing it for me. 1492 01:13:10,200 --> 01:13:13,067 This is my flat and I'm telling you to go. 1493 01:13:13,200 --> 01:13:15,367 I'm doing it for me, okay? 1494 01:13:16,367 --> 01:13:18,067 I can manage. 1495 01:13:18,200 --> 01:13:20,933 I can manage a lot better for me. 1496 01:13:22,633 --> 01:13:23,900 I've got my mates, right? 1497 01:13:25,267 --> 01:13:26,600 I've got my mates and they've always been around. 1498 01:13:26,733 --> 01:13:28,467 Nothing's changed. 1499 01:13:29,633 --> 01:13:30,433 You are nothing compared to them. 1500 01:13:30,567 --> 01:13:32,267 [Karen] Nothing's changed, Nick! 1501 01:13:32,400 --> 01:13:34,333 Everything's changed! 1502 01:13:35,500 --> 01:13:38,067 I told you about Africa. 1503 01:13:38,167 --> 01:13:40,433 I told you it's over! 1504 01:13:40,567 --> 01:13:41,767 I told you to piss off 1505 01:13:41,900 --> 01:13:43,667 but you just stand there and take it. 1506 01:13:43,800 --> 01:13:44,633 Why? 1507 01:13:47,667 --> 01:13:51,567 'Cause I'm in this fucking chair, that's why. 1508 01:13:51,700 --> 01:13:54,100 I'm in this chair but it's you that cannot move. 1509 01:13:55,700 --> 01:13:57,067 If there was nothing the matter with me 1510 01:13:57,167 --> 01:13:59,267 you'd have spat in my face and walked, so do it! 1511 01:13:59,400 --> 01:14:00,300 No. 1512 01:14:01,167 --> 01:14:02,067 Go. 1513 01:14:02,200 --> 01:14:03,067 No. 1514 01:14:03,900 --> 01:14:06,067 Karen, just fucking go. 1515 01:14:06,200 --> 01:14:07,067 No! 1516 01:14:16,933 --> 01:14:17,767 No! 1517 01:14:23,733 --> 01:14:26,633 [light rock music] 1518 01:14:30,800 --> 01:14:35,800 * If I ever do you wrong * 1519 01:14:37,167 --> 01:14:42,167 * If I ever leave you all alone * 1520 01:14:43,267 --> 01:14:48,233 * If I ever tell you a lie * 1521 01:14:49,167 --> 01:14:54,067 * And if I ever make you cry * 1522 01:14:54,833 --> 01:14:58,500 * Baby I wanna fly * 1523 01:14:58,633 --> 01:15:01,267 * Right on my pie * 1524 01:15:01,400 --> 01:15:06,333 * I want a bee sting me over my eye * 1525 01:15:07,867 --> 01:15:10,333 * You know I love my pie * 1526 01:15:10,467 --> 01:15:13,867 * And I love my eye * 1527 01:15:14,067 --> 01:15:15,133 * So you know * 1528 01:15:15,267 --> 01:15:16,767 If you don't go, 1529 01:15:17,767 --> 01:15:18,867 I'll kill myself. 1530 01:15:33,133 --> 01:15:35,967 [rain pattering] 1531 01:16:13,200 --> 01:16:16,267 [sombre piano music] 1532 01:16:31,600 --> 01:16:32,533 I love you. 1533 01:16:43,167 --> 01:16:44,833 Ladies and gentlemen, 1534 01:16:44,967 --> 01:16:47,200 player of the year, Nick Cameron. 1535 01:16:48,067 --> 01:16:50,933 [crowd applauding] 1536 01:17:10,700 --> 01:17:12,200 Nick and Karen. 1537 01:17:13,667 --> 01:17:16,567 [crowd applauding] 1538 01:17:19,733 --> 01:17:22,233 [light music] 1539 01:17:23,800 --> 01:17:28,800 * Goodbye * 1540 01:17:30,100 --> 01:17:31,633 * And since you gotta go * 1541 01:17:31,767 --> 01:17:36,767 * Boy you had better go now * 1542 01:17:37,800 --> 01:17:40,667 * Go now go now * 1543 01:17:40,800 --> 01:17:42,100 * Go now * 1544 01:17:42,233 --> 01:17:43,767 I've been reading about the situation in Bosnia. 1545 01:17:43,900 --> 01:17:45,267 Oh yeah? 1546 01:17:45,400 --> 01:17:47,900 Yeah, people getting blown up all the time, it's terrible. 1547 01:17:48,067 --> 01:17:50,133 So do you know what's going on there because of all that? 1548 01:17:50,267 --> 01:17:51,567 No. 1549 01:17:51,700 --> 01:17:53,067 An awful lot of shagging. 1550 01:17:54,467 --> 01:17:55,600 There's a woman with a white sticker over there. 1551 01:17:55,733 --> 01:17:56,867 Tell her. 1552 01:17:57,067 --> 01:17:57,767 Where? 1553 01:17:57,900 --> 01:17:59,333 [Paula laughing] 1554 01:17:59,467 --> 01:18:00,767 Ah-ah, got you. 1555 01:18:01,933 --> 01:18:03,200 Scout watching you? 1556 01:18:03,333 --> 01:18:04,067 Yeah. 1557 01:18:04,167 --> 01:18:05,700 [Sammy laughing] 1558 01:18:05,833 --> 01:18:06,900 Yeah, what's so funny? 1559 01:18:07,067 --> 01:18:09,367 A bloody girl guide could see you were crap! 1560 01:18:13,867 --> 01:18:17,600 * Still in love with you now * 1561 01:18:18,733 --> 01:18:22,600 [Dell retching and coughing] 1562 01:18:22,733 --> 01:18:25,900 [typewriter clacking] 1563 01:18:27,333 --> 01:18:29,733 Look, we're mates, right? 1564 01:18:29,867 --> 01:18:31,067 Right. 1565 01:18:31,133 --> 01:18:33,467 So if you do end up in a wheelchair and that, 1566 01:18:34,367 --> 01:18:35,200 Aye? 1567 01:18:36,333 --> 01:18:39,067 Can I have your footy boots? [laughing] 1568 01:18:42,200 --> 01:18:46,067 * Go now * 1569 01:18:46,133 --> 01:18:50,067 * Before you see me cry * 1570 01:18:50,167 --> 01:18:50,967 [camera clicking] 1571 01:18:51,100 --> 01:18:52,967 [typewriter clacking] 1572 01:18:53,100 --> 01:18:54,733 I've been reading about the situation in Bosnia. 1573 01:18:54,867 --> 01:18:55,800 Piss off. 1574 01:18:56,667 --> 01:18:57,900 Say it again. 1575 01:18:59,067 --> 01:18:59,900 Piss off. 1576 01:19:06,600 --> 01:19:08,433 * 'Cause how many times do I have to tell you * 1577 01:19:08,567 --> 01:19:12,533 * darling darling darling darling darling * 1578 01:19:12,667 --> 01:19:13,367 [Man] Where you going? 1579 01:19:13,500 --> 01:19:15,567 Mind your own business. 1580 01:19:17,867 --> 01:19:21,133 [men cheering] 1581 01:19:21,267 --> 01:19:22,300 Fuck off! 1582 01:19:22,433 --> 01:19:24,900 [George] Go on there, Tony! 1583 01:19:25,067 --> 01:19:28,200 [typewriter clacking] 1584 01:19:31,867 --> 01:19:33,933 * I don't wanna see you go * 1585 01:19:34,067 --> 01:19:39,067 * But boy you had better go now * 1586 01:19:40,400 --> 01:19:42,767 * Go now go now * 1587 01:19:42,900 --> 01:19:46,900 * Go now * 1588 01:19:47,067 --> 01:19:52,067 * Don't you even try * 1589 01:19:54,300 --> 01:19:59,300 * To tell me * 1590 01:20:00,700 --> 01:20:03,000 * That you really don't wanna see it end this way now * 1591 01:20:03,133 --> 01:20:05,967 [camera clicking] 1592 01:20:07,400 --> 01:20:10,167 * Don't you know if you really meant what you said * 1593 01:20:10,300 --> 01:20:11,833 * Darling darling darling * 1594 01:20:11,967 --> 01:20:13,700 * I wouldn't have to keep on begging you * 1595 01:20:13,833 --> 01:20:18,800 * Begging you begging you to stay * 1596 01:20:19,467 --> 01:20:23,500 * Go, go now * 1597 01:20:23,633 --> 01:20:28,633 * Goodbye goodbye * 1598 01:20:30,867 --> 01:20:34,233 * Before your tears start to fall * 1599 01:20:34,367 --> 01:20:37,067 * I think you better go now * 1600 01:20:37,200 --> 01:20:38,733 * Go now * 1601 01:20:38,867 --> 01:20:43,867 * Goodbye goodbye * 1602 01:20:45,500 --> 01:20:48,867 * Before your tears start to fall * 1603 01:20:49,000 --> 01:20:51,733 * I think you better go now * 1604 01:20:51,867 --> 01:20:53,400 * Go now * 1605 01:20:53,533 --> 01:20:56,133 * Good bye * 1606 01:20:56,267 --> 01:21:00,400 * Good bye * 1607 01:21:00,533 --> 01:21:02,633 * Before I fall down on my knees * 1608 01:21:02,767 --> 01:21:06,433 * And start bawling bawling * 96172