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1
00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:05,373
[ whistling sprightly tune ]
2
00:00:09,610 --> 00:00:13,314
Starring andy griffith...
3
00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:15,449
With ronny howard...
4
00:00:15,483 --> 00:00:19,019
Also starring don knotts.
5
00:00:23,091 --> 00:00:26,227
Children, I want you to remember
That all these dances we do
6
00:00:26,260 --> 00:00:29,263
Are part of learning about
The people who came before us.
7
00:00:29,297 --> 00:00:32,466
The community dance was a very
Important part of pioneer life.
8
00:00:32,500 --> 00:00:34,468
On saturday night
When they'd finish working,
9
00:00:34,502 --> 00:00:36,170
They'd gather
At the meeting hall,
10
00:00:36,204 --> 00:00:38,072
And this was their form
Of entertainment,
11
00:00:38,106 --> 00:00:40,374
Whether it was a waltz,
Square dance, or whatever.
12
00:00:40,408 --> 00:00:41,775
All right, dance groups,
13
00:00:41,809 --> 00:00:43,811
Shall we see how well
We can do with the waltz?
14
00:00:43,844 --> 00:00:48,482
[ indistinct talking ]
15
00:00:48,516 --> 00:00:50,651
Oh, what is it,
Opie?
16
00:00:50,684 --> 00:00:52,253
Sharon isn't here today.
17
00:00:52,286 --> 00:00:54,255
Oh, that's right.
18
00:00:54,288 --> 00:00:56,324
Her brace got loose,
And she bit on it.
19
00:00:56,357 --> 00:00:57,725
Oh, I see.
20
00:00:57,758 --> 00:00:59,760
Well, I'll tell you what,
Opie -- you dance with me.
21
00:00:59,793 --> 00:01:02,530
All right, everybody
Take their positions.
22
00:01:02,563 --> 00:01:04,598
[ turntable clicks on ]
23
00:01:04,632 --> 00:01:06,667
[ "Oh my darling, clementine"
Plays ]
24
00:01:44,872 --> 00:01:46,207
[ laughs ]
25
00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:47,841
[ song ends ]
Fine, children.
26
00:01:47,875 --> 00:01:50,644
That was fine, class --
Just fine.
27
00:01:50,678 --> 00:01:53,714
Oh, you always
Complain!
28
00:01:53,747 --> 00:01:57,618
All right, class, you have
Your homework assignments.
29
00:01:57,651 --> 00:01:58,886
Class dismissed.
30
00:01:58,919 --> 00:02:01,622
[ indistinct talking ]
31
00:02:16,337 --> 00:02:17,838
Oh, yes, opie?
32
00:02:17,871 --> 00:02:19,640
Want me to scrub
Your blackboard for you?
33
00:02:19,673 --> 00:02:21,709
Oh, no, thank you, opie.
It doesn't need it today.
34
00:02:21,742 --> 00:02:23,344
Well, I could sharpen
Your pencils.
35
00:02:23,377 --> 00:02:24,745
Well, thank you
For offering, opie,
36
00:02:24,778 --> 00:02:26,280
But I haven't even
Used them.
37
00:02:26,314 --> 00:02:28,449
You want me to wait
In case you do use 'em?
38
00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:30,451
Oh, I'm going now
Myself, opie.
39
00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:31,519
Oh.
40
00:02:31,552 --> 00:02:33,387
Well, thank you.
41
00:02:36,924 --> 00:02:39,593
Well, thank you, opie.
42
00:02:40,961 --> 00:02:43,631
[ whistling ]
43
00:02:51,705 --> 00:02:53,741
Boy, if that
Ain't a picture.
44
00:02:53,774 --> 00:02:55,643
What's that?
45
00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:57,411
Your son and heir
Walking along
46
00:02:57,445 --> 00:02:58,946
With helen crump
Hand in hand.
47
00:02:58,979 --> 00:03:02,250
Oh, yeah.
Must be coming home from school.
48
00:03:02,283 --> 00:03:04,852
Yeah.
49
00:03:04,885 --> 00:03:06,887
That's sweet.
50
00:03:09,957 --> 00:03:11,759
Boy, things
Sure were different
51
00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:13,527
When you and I
Went to school.
52
00:03:13,561 --> 00:03:14,928
[ chuckles ] Remember?
53
00:03:14,962 --> 00:03:17,531
Teachers and kids
Were natural enemies then.
54
00:03:17,565 --> 00:03:19,633
Yeah.
55
00:03:19,667 --> 00:03:21,402
Hey, remember
Mrs. Von roeder?
56
00:03:21,435 --> 00:03:22,970
Oh, the beast
Of the fourth floor?
57
00:03:23,003 --> 00:03:24,272
[ laughs ]
58
00:03:24,305 --> 00:03:25,839
Beast of the fourth floor.
59
00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:27,941
Remember when we put ink
In her thermos bottle?
60
00:03:27,975 --> 00:03:29,643
Remember the tack
On her chair?
61
00:03:29,677 --> 00:03:32,480
Then we put that garter snake
In her desk drawer.
62
00:03:32,513 --> 00:03:34,515
Yeah.
63
00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:37,651
Boy, she sure was mean.
64
00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:40,988
Well, anyway, it looks like
Things have changed.
65
00:03:41,021 --> 00:03:43,824
There's an entirely different
Teacher/pupil relationship,
66
00:03:43,857 --> 00:03:45,559
And I think
It's very encouraging.
67
00:03:45,593 --> 00:03:46,727
I do, too.
68
00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:48,596
It's a step in the right
Direction,
69
00:03:48,629 --> 00:03:49,730
I'll tell you that.
70
00:03:51,632 --> 00:03:54,602
You know, that'd make it
Real nice for you, too, ange.
71
00:03:54,635 --> 00:03:56,470
What do you mean?
72
00:03:56,504 --> 00:03:59,440
Helen and opie walking along
Together like that.
73
00:03:59,473 --> 00:04:02,042
Oh.
74
00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:04,745
Well, I mean,
In case you and helen
75
00:04:04,778 --> 00:04:08,349
Ever [clears throat] Decide
To take that big step.
76
00:04:08,382 --> 00:04:10,284
Now, don't start
That again.
77
00:04:10,318 --> 00:04:12,320
Any plans?
No, not yet.
78
00:04:12,353 --> 00:04:13,987
Well, you must've
Talked about it.
79
00:04:14,021 --> 00:04:15,656
Not really.
Come on, open up.
80
00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:17,358
Barn, there's nothing
To say.
81
00:04:17,391 --> 00:04:18,326
You can tell a friend.
82
00:04:18,359 --> 00:04:19,527
There's nothing to tell.
83
00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:20,728
When are you two
Getting married?
84
00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:21,995
Barney!
It just seems to me
85
00:04:22,029 --> 00:04:23,797
That after you've been
Going with a girl
86
00:04:23,831 --> 00:04:24,965
For over two years --
87
00:04:24,998 --> 00:04:26,334
What about you
And thelma lou?
88
00:04:26,367 --> 00:04:27,635
What about me
And thelma lou?
89
00:04:27,668 --> 00:04:29,470
You've been going
With her for two years.
90
00:04:29,503 --> 00:04:30,604
When you gonna
Get married?
91
00:04:30,638 --> 00:04:32,072
What are you
Talking about?
92
00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:34,575
Come on, open up.
There's nothing
To open up about.
93
00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:37,077
You can tell a friend.
When you gonna get married?
94
00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:40,681
Is that all
You can talk about?
95
00:04:43,684 --> 00:04:46,787
Paw, can a boy go with a girl
Who's older than he is?
96
00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:48,389
Do they allow that?
97
00:04:48,422 --> 00:04:50,724
Opie, why do you always
Save stuff like that
98
00:04:50,758 --> 00:04:52,025
For early in the morning?
99
00:04:52,059 --> 00:04:54,061
Well, can he?
100
00:04:54,094 --> 00:04:55,863
Well, there's no law
Against it.
101
00:04:55,896 --> 00:04:57,598
Why, sharon older
Than you are?
102
00:04:57,631 --> 00:04:59,367
I'm not talking
About sharon.
103
00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:00,868
You've got a new girl?
104
00:05:00,901 --> 00:05:02,403
I'm not sure yet.
105
00:05:02,436 --> 00:05:03,904
Hmm.
106
00:05:03,937 --> 00:05:06,740
Well, I wouldn't say
Age is real important.
107
00:05:06,774 --> 00:05:09,042
If she likes you and you like
Her, that's the main thing.
108
00:05:09,076 --> 00:05:12,513
I think she likes me.
She smiles at me a lot.
109
00:05:12,546 --> 00:05:14,081
Hmm.
Well, she likes you.
110
00:05:14,114 --> 00:05:15,416
Eat.
111
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:19,086
What about her being older
Than I am?
112
00:05:19,119 --> 00:05:23,424
Well, I wouldn't let that
Bother me.
113
00:05:23,457 --> 00:05:25,459
I remember when I was
About your age,
114
00:05:25,493 --> 00:05:26,794
I was trying to court
A little girl
115
00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:28,596
Named barbara edwards.
116
00:05:28,629 --> 00:05:32,633
She was in the upper fifth
Grade, and I was in the lower.
117
00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:35,135
Now, I will admit
There was some talk,
118
00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:37,905
But I didn't let it
Bother me.
119
00:05:37,938 --> 00:05:39,573
What if she's older
Than that?
120
00:05:39,607 --> 00:05:40,841
How much older?
121
00:05:40,874 --> 00:05:42,376
I don't know.
122
00:05:42,410 --> 00:05:44,512
With girls, it's hard to tell
How old they are.
123
00:05:44,545 --> 00:05:46,380
Eat.
124
00:05:46,414 --> 00:05:48,749
I don't reckon
You'd wanna tell me who it is.
125
00:05:48,782 --> 00:05:50,851
Well, it's a secret.
126
00:05:50,884 --> 00:05:52,386
Oh.
127
00:05:52,420 --> 00:05:55,122
Paw?
Hmm?
128
00:05:55,155 --> 00:05:56,790
How do I tell her
I like her?
129
00:05:56,824 --> 00:05:59,760
How did you tell sharon
You liked her?
130
00:05:59,793 --> 00:06:01,662
I didn't have to.
She knew it.
131
00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:02,930
Oh.
132
00:06:02,963 --> 00:06:04,498
Last term
When she told the teacher
133
00:06:04,532 --> 00:06:05,966
The boys were the ones
134
00:06:05,999 --> 00:06:07,935
That were making all the noise
On the playground,
135
00:06:07,968 --> 00:06:10,738
I was the only boy
That didn't hit her.
136
00:06:10,771 --> 00:06:13,040
And besides, I give her
My brand-new eraser.
137
00:06:13,073 --> 00:06:16,744
Mm. Well, why don't you give
This girl an eraser?
138
00:06:16,777 --> 00:06:19,813
Nah, I think I wanna get her
Something real good.
Huh.
139
00:06:19,847 --> 00:06:21,582
I have 62 cents saved up,
140
00:06:21,615 --> 00:06:24,518
Not counting 6 pop bottles
Aunt bee said I could take back.
141
00:06:24,552 --> 00:06:26,987
That's a pile of money
To spend on a girl, ain't it?
142
00:06:27,020 --> 00:06:28,021
Please, paw.
143
00:06:30,023 --> 00:06:31,925
Well, go ahead
If you want to.
144
00:06:31,959 --> 00:06:34,428
The women will get it
Anyway, I reckon.
145
00:06:34,462 --> 00:06:36,464
Gee, thanks, paw.
146
00:06:38,799 --> 00:06:41,168
74 cents?
Yeah.
147
00:06:41,201 --> 00:06:43,837
Boy, 74 cents --
148
00:06:43,871 --> 00:06:47,040
That's a lot of money for a kid
To spend on a present.
149
00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:49,610
Did you tell him
It was okay?
Yeah.
150
00:06:49,643 --> 00:06:53,013
I guess he's really got it
Bad this time, huh?
151
00:06:53,046 --> 00:06:54,648
Yeah.
152
00:06:54,682 --> 00:06:57,851
Well, I suppose kids are
No different than grown-ups.
153
00:06:57,885 --> 00:06:59,553
I remember
I went overboard
154
00:06:59,587 --> 00:07:01,589
With thelma lou
On her last birthday.
155
00:07:01,622 --> 00:07:03,090
Did you get her
Something nice?
156
00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:06,026
Nicest present
I ever gave her.
157
00:07:06,059 --> 00:07:07,661
Know what I did?
158
00:07:07,695 --> 00:07:08,762
Hmm.
159
00:07:08,796 --> 00:07:10,798
Took her out to dinner.
160
00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:13,834
Took her out to dinner?
161
00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:16,504
Well, yeah, you know
We usually go dutch.
162
00:07:18,506 --> 00:07:20,040
Took her to morelli's.
163
00:07:20,073 --> 00:07:22,075
Oh, morelli's.
Yeah.
164
00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:24,545
Huh?
Yeah.
165
00:07:25,846 --> 00:07:28,215
Now, there's a place
To take a girl.
166
00:07:28,248 --> 00:07:31,151
Out on the highway like that,
Nice and secluded.
167
00:07:31,184 --> 00:07:33,754
Red-checkered tablecloths.
168
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:36,657
Oh, yeah, fancy.
Fancy. Fancy.
169
00:07:36,690 --> 00:07:38,191
[ chuckles ]
170
00:07:38,225 --> 00:07:41,028
You know, they'll let you
Take a bottle in there.
171
00:07:41,061 --> 00:07:43,163
You didn't, did you?
No.
172
00:07:47,234 --> 00:07:48,569
What did you have
To eat?
173
00:07:48,602 --> 00:07:50,604
Had their deluxe special.
174
00:07:50,638 --> 00:07:52,806
You know, you can hold it down
To $1.85 out there
175
00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:54,675
If you don't have
The shrimp cocktail.
176
00:07:54,708 --> 00:07:56,009
Did you have
Shrimp cocktail?
177
00:07:56,043 --> 00:07:57,845
Well, no.
178
00:07:57,878 --> 00:08:00,914
I told thelma lou, I said,
"Let's not fill up."
179
00:08:02,550 --> 00:08:04,985
The minestrone was delicious,
Though. Phew!
180
00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:07,821
Yeah, when that's made right,
That's really something.
181
00:08:07,855 --> 00:08:11,825
And for the main dish,
Pounded steak a la morelli.
182
00:08:11,859 --> 00:08:12,760
Oh?
183
00:08:12,793 --> 00:08:14,127
It's really pounded, too.
184
00:08:14,161 --> 00:08:15,529
No question about it.
185
00:08:15,563 --> 00:08:16,864
They got one of these
Open kitchens,
186
00:08:16,897 --> 00:08:18,198
And you can look
Right in there
187
00:08:18,231 --> 00:08:19,933
And watch 'em pound it
Right with your own eyes.
188
00:08:19,967 --> 00:08:22,836
Oh, yeah -- kind of see
What you're getting.
189
00:08:22,870 --> 00:08:24,137
Yeah.
190
00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:25,906
I tell you, andy,
When that meal was finished,
191
00:08:25,939 --> 00:08:27,541
I did something I rarely do.
What?
192
00:08:27,575 --> 00:08:30,243
I sent my compliments
Back to the chef.
193
00:08:30,277 --> 00:08:32,546
I appreciate them things.
194
00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:38,185
He kind of looked up from
His pounding and waved at me.
195
00:08:40,087 --> 00:08:43,290
I'm gonna have to take helen
Over there one of these days.
196
00:08:43,323 --> 00:08:45,826
Oh, she'd love it --
Love it.
197
00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:48,829
It's not only the food, either.
It's the atmosphere.
198
00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:52,099
You know, they got the candles
On the tables and the music.
199
00:08:52,132 --> 00:08:54,702
They got a gypsy violinist
Out there.
200
00:08:54,735 --> 00:08:58,772
He must've played six or eight
Songs standing over our table.
201
00:08:58,806 --> 00:09:01,208
Of course, you got to slip him
A quarter.
202
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:04,845
Yeah, those fellas
Work on tips.
203
00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:09,282
One thing about gypsies,
Though-- they're moody.
204
00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:13,120
But the point
I'm trying to make is,
205
00:09:13,153 --> 00:09:15,355
If our kids wanna splurge
On their girlfriends,
206
00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:17,090
What do you expect?
207
00:09:17,124 --> 00:09:19,860
They get it from us.
208
00:09:20,661 --> 00:09:22,796
Thank you very much, and do come
Back again, won't you?
209
00:09:22,830 --> 00:09:23,931
[ bell jingles ]
210
00:09:23,964 --> 00:09:25,699
Well, hello, opie.
Hi.
211
00:09:25,733 --> 00:09:27,234
If you're collecting
For red cross
212
00:09:27,267 --> 00:09:28,335
I already gave last week.
213
00:09:28,368 --> 00:09:29,703
No, I wanna buy a present.
214
00:09:29,737 --> 00:09:31,238
Oh, something
For aunt bee?
215
00:09:31,271 --> 00:09:33,040
No, another lady.
Oh, I see.
216
00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:35,175
Well, how much
Do you want to spend?
217
00:09:35,208 --> 00:09:36,309
74 cents.
218
00:09:36,343 --> 00:09:38,679
Now, let me think.
219
00:09:38,712 --> 00:09:41,281
Say, how about a nice
Handkerchief, hmm?
220
00:09:41,314 --> 00:09:42,916
Okay.
221
00:09:42,950 --> 00:09:45,118
Look, isn't that
A pretty one?
Gee, it's small.
222
00:09:45,152 --> 00:09:47,955
Well, that's the way
Ladies' handkerchiefs are, opie,
223
00:09:47,988 --> 00:09:50,891
Although I do have
Some larger ones.
224
00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:51,925
Let me see.
225
00:09:51,959 --> 00:09:54,161
Oh, yes.
Here it is.
226
00:09:54,194 --> 00:09:57,330
How about this one?
That's larger.
227
00:09:57,364 --> 00:09:59,066
Do you have
Any colored ones?
228
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:00,634
You don't like these.
229
00:10:00,668 --> 00:10:02,269
Well, if you had
A blue one, maybe.
230
00:10:02,302 --> 00:10:04,672
Blue. Blue.
231
00:10:04,705 --> 00:10:07,407
I did see a blue --
Oh, here it is.
232
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,877
There.
There's a blue one.
233
00:10:09,910 --> 00:10:11,712
Do you have
Any other colors?
234
00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:26,426
I'll take this one.
235
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:27,795
Fine.
236
00:10:27,828 --> 00:10:30,130
That'll be 50 cents
Plus tax.
237
00:10:30,163 --> 00:10:33,000
Oh, but I wanna spend
My whole 74 cents.
238
00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:34,234
My dear opie,
239
00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:36,103
[ bell jingles ]
My dear, dear opie,
240
00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:40,107
We are not going to find
Something for exactly 74 cents.
241
00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:41,374
We just are not.
242
00:10:41,408 --> 00:10:43,877
I'll be with you
In a moment.
243
00:10:43,911 --> 00:10:45,913
Well, do you have anything
For a little bit more?
244
00:10:45,946 --> 00:10:48,248
Well, I do have something
245
00:10:48,281 --> 00:10:51,251
That would make a very nice gift
For 80 cents,
246
00:10:51,284 --> 00:10:52,986
But that would be it.
247
00:10:53,020 --> 00:10:54,121
80 cents.
248
00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:56,456
I'll take it.
I'll be right back.
249
00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:58,091
Opie, where are you going?
250
00:10:58,125 --> 00:11:00,360
I have to go home
And drink three bottles of pop.
251
00:11:02,262 --> 00:11:03,731
[ bell jingles ]
[ sighs ]
252
00:11:09,803 --> 00:11:10,971
Andy: ope?
253
00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:14,842
How come
You're not out playing?
254
00:11:14,875 --> 00:11:16,844
Well, I've been busy.
255
00:11:16,877 --> 00:11:18,846
Oh, I see
You bought your present.
256
00:11:18,879 --> 00:11:21,048
Yeah. I'm not sure
She's gonna like it, though.
257
00:11:21,081 --> 00:11:22,282
I expect she will.
258
00:11:22,315 --> 00:11:24,217
I'd say you got
Pretty good taste.
259
00:11:24,251 --> 00:11:25,452
What did you get?
260
00:11:25,485 --> 00:11:27,855
Gee, paw, do I have to
Show it to you?
261
00:11:27,888 --> 00:11:30,090
Come on,
Show me what you got.
262
00:11:30,123 --> 00:11:31,792
Well, okay,
I'll show it to you,
263
00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:32,960
But I can't tell you
Who it's for.
264
00:11:32,993 --> 00:11:34,394
That's a secret.
265
00:11:34,427 --> 00:11:36,396
Pretty package.
Maybe you better not open it.
266
00:11:36,429 --> 00:11:38,465
It's okay.
I can fix it up again.
267
00:11:38,498 --> 00:11:39,967
I bet I can guess.
268
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:40,868
What?
269
00:11:40,901 --> 00:11:41,969
Jigsaw puzzle.
270
00:11:42,002 --> 00:11:43,103
Mnh-mnh.
271
00:11:43,136 --> 00:11:44,404
Box of fishhooks.
272
00:11:44,437 --> 00:11:45,806
Nope.
273
00:11:45,839 --> 00:11:47,240
Model airplane?
No.
274
00:11:47,274 --> 00:11:49,442
Well, let's see what you got
Your little friend.
275
00:11:50,878 --> 00:11:52,746
There.
276
00:12:05,292 --> 00:12:09,763
Opie, uh, who you planning
On giving these stockings to?
277
00:12:09,797 --> 00:12:10,530
A lady.
278
00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:12,365
Well, I figured that much.
279
00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:14,001
Whoever it is,
280
00:12:14,034 --> 00:12:16,069
I don't think stockings
Is the right kind of gift.
281
00:12:16,103 --> 00:12:17,871
Miss primrose said
Any lady would like 'em.
282
00:12:17,905 --> 00:12:20,440
Well, sure, sure,
283
00:12:20,473 --> 00:12:23,043
But you got to know a person
Real well
284
00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:25,412
'fore you give 'em
Anything like that.
285
00:12:25,445 --> 00:12:27,948
And got to be older.
286
00:12:27,981 --> 00:12:32,052
See, see, stockings is
Personal -- very personal.
287
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:33,286
You understand?
288
00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:34,454
No.
289
00:12:34,487 --> 00:12:37,090
Well...
290
00:12:37,124 --> 00:12:40,460
Suppose you was to give
This young lady some candy
291
00:12:40,493 --> 00:12:41,895
Or some flowers.
292
00:12:41,929 --> 00:12:43,263
That would be okay.
293
00:12:43,296 --> 00:12:44,297
You know what I mean?
294
00:12:44,331 --> 00:12:45,465
No, paw.
295
00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:52,072
Opie, stockings is something
A lady wears.
296
00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:56,810
Candy --
Well, everybody gives candy.
297
00:12:56,844 --> 00:12:58,511
Candy's just something
You eat.
298
00:12:58,545 --> 00:13:01,014
Now, there's your difference
Right there.
299
00:13:01,048 --> 00:13:04,117
But what about stockings?
300
00:13:04,151 --> 00:13:08,088
Well, opie...
Stockings, uh...
301
00:13:09,556 --> 00:13:11,825
Just take my word for it.
302
00:13:11,859 --> 00:13:14,261
Uh, I'd rather you take
These stockings back.
303
00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:16,964
I'd really just rather
You just take 'em back.
304
00:13:16,997 --> 00:13:18,899
Now, I've got to get
On back to work.
305
00:13:18,932 --> 00:13:20,233
I'm late as it is.
306
00:13:29,409 --> 00:13:32,812
Sarah, get me
The bluebird diner, will you?
307
00:13:36,016 --> 00:13:37,885
[ humming ]
308
00:13:42,289 --> 00:13:44,858
Hi, sweetie pie.
309
00:13:44,892 --> 00:13:46,927
[ clears throat ]
Oh, hello, frank.
310
00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:49,196
Is juanita there?
311
00:13:49,229 --> 00:13:50,597
Okay.
312
00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:57,004
Nite? Barn.
How you doing?
313
00:13:57,037 --> 00:13:58,405
[ chuckles ]
314
00:13:58,438 --> 00:14:01,141
Okay. Yeah.
315
00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:03,977
Listen, I got a little
Extra-special treat
316
00:14:04,011 --> 00:14:05,345
In mind for tonight.
317
00:14:06,646 --> 00:14:09,182
Drive-in movie at mount pilot.
318
00:14:10,918 --> 00:14:13,020
Oh, I don't know
What's playing.
319
00:14:13,053 --> 00:14:14,922
What difference does it make?
320
00:14:16,924 --> 00:14:18,591
Well, you know what I mean.
321
00:14:18,625 --> 00:14:20,060
[ laughing ]
322
00:14:20,093 --> 00:14:21,561
Come on.
323
00:14:21,594 --> 00:14:24,231
Don't tell me
You don't know what I mean.
324
00:14:24,264 --> 00:14:27,234
Yeah.
Of course you do.
325
00:14:27,267 --> 00:14:30,537
Well, we were out there
Once before.
326
00:14:30,570 --> 00:14:33,173
Well, what time
You gonna get off?
327
00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:35,909
Not till then?
328
00:14:35,943 --> 00:14:39,346
Well, then, you won't have time
To go home and change clothes.
329
00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:41,548
Well, that's all right.
330
00:14:41,581 --> 00:14:43,316
You'll have to wear
Your uniform.
331
00:14:43,350 --> 00:14:44,684
[ chuckling ]
332
00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:48,421
You wear your uniform,
And I'll wear my uniform.
333
00:14:48,455 --> 00:14:51,058
[ laughing ]
334
00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:55,462
Uh, that's right,
7:30, uniform. Good-bye.
335
00:14:55,495 --> 00:14:57,130
Hi, ope.
Your paw's not here.
336
00:14:57,164 --> 00:14:58,265
That's okay.
337
00:14:58,298 --> 00:15:00,100
Can I ask you something,
Barney?
338
00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:01,701
Sure.
What do you want to ask me?
339
00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:05,005
You go with a lot of different
Ladies, don't you?
340
00:15:05,038 --> 00:15:07,674
Well, what makes you ask
A thing like that?
341
00:15:07,707 --> 00:15:09,209
Don't you, barney?
342
00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:11,945
[ clears throat ]
Well...
343
00:15:11,979 --> 00:15:14,047
[ clears throat ]
344
00:15:14,081 --> 00:15:17,584
As a rule, I only go
With one girl at a time,
345
00:15:17,617 --> 00:15:19,719
But I suppose you might say
346
00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:23,590
I've covered a little ground
In my time. Why?
347
00:15:23,623 --> 00:15:26,193
How do you say it when you want
To tell 'em that you like 'em?
348
00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:30,397
Well, I think you ought to
Talk to your paw
349
00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:32,065
About a thing
Like that, ope.
350
00:15:32,099 --> 00:15:34,301
I tried to,
But he didn't have the time,
351
00:15:34,334 --> 00:15:37,437
And besides, there's some things
Paw just don't understand.
352
00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:39,339
Tell me,
What should I say to her?
353
00:15:39,372 --> 00:15:44,611
Well...There's two ways
You can go about this thing.
354
00:15:44,644 --> 00:15:47,380
One way is to play it hard
To get, if you know what I mean.
355
00:15:47,414 --> 00:15:50,183
Well, I don't want to be
Hard to get. I like her.
356
00:15:50,217 --> 00:15:52,619
Oh, well, then you got to go
The other way --
357
00:15:52,652 --> 00:15:55,722
You know, with sweet talk,
Like with poetry and all that.
358
00:15:55,755 --> 00:15:57,290
All right.
359
00:15:57,324 --> 00:15:59,626
Kind of a sloppy way
Of going about it,
360
00:15:59,659 --> 00:16:01,694
But it usually works.
361
00:16:01,728 --> 00:16:03,630
Do you know any poems?
362
00:16:03,663 --> 00:16:05,465
Yeah, we learned some
In school.
363
00:16:05,498 --> 00:16:07,567
"I had a dog,
And his name was spot --"
364
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:09,369
No, no, no.
365
00:16:09,402 --> 00:16:10,670
We learned another one, too.
366
00:16:10,703 --> 00:16:12,539
"The boy stood
On the burning deck --"
367
00:16:12,572 --> 00:16:15,008
No, that's not --
368
00:16:15,042 --> 00:16:17,344
You see, it's-it's got to be
A poem
369
00:16:17,377 --> 00:16:18,711
With -- well, I mean,
370
00:16:18,745 --> 00:16:21,514
It wouldn't have anything
To do with dogs
371
00:16:21,548 --> 00:16:24,384
Or a boy being brave
Or anything like that.
372
00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:28,655
Well, it's got to have
Some romance in it.
373
00:16:28,688 --> 00:16:31,091
It's got to be a poem with --
Well, you know --
374
00:16:31,124 --> 00:16:33,526
Where you tell a girl how great
She is and everything.
375
00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:35,728
They didn't teach us anything
Like that yet.
376
00:16:35,762 --> 00:16:37,397
They didn't, huh?
No.
377
00:16:37,430 --> 00:16:39,199
Maybe we get that next term.
378
00:16:44,604 --> 00:16:48,075
You think your girlfriend's home
Right now?
I think so.
379
00:16:48,108 --> 00:16:50,677
Look, here's what we'll do.
You get her on the telephone.
380
00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:53,646
I'll go in the back and see if
I can find that book of poems.
381
00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:55,115
And you'll tell me
What to say?
382
00:16:55,148 --> 00:16:56,283
Right.
383
00:17:01,154 --> 00:17:02,389
Miss sarah?
384
00:17:02,422 --> 00:17:04,424
Will you get me
Miss crump, please?
385
00:17:09,096 --> 00:17:11,731
Here it is.
386
00:17:11,764 --> 00:17:13,366
Sure, I'll wait.
387
00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:14,834
Her phone's busy.
388
00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:16,569
Oh, uh, dynamite.
389
00:17:16,603 --> 00:17:19,572
These things
Are just dynamite.
390
00:17:19,606 --> 00:17:21,208
Are those what I should say,
Barney?
391
00:17:21,241 --> 00:17:22,475
They sure are.
392
00:17:22,509 --> 00:17:25,378
"Poems of romance"
By t. Jonathan osgood.
393
00:17:25,412 --> 00:17:27,614
Now, this is
Real literature.
394
00:17:27,647 --> 00:17:30,350
Oh, here's one I used
A couple of times.
395
00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:32,285
Hello? Hello?
396
00:17:32,319 --> 00:17:33,520
Uh, this is opie.
397
00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:35,222
Well, hello, opie.
How are you?
398
00:17:35,255 --> 00:17:36,423
What can I do for you?
399
00:17:36,456 --> 00:17:40,193
Uh, I want to tell you
Something.
400
00:17:40,227 --> 00:17:44,531
"When you and I
Are far apart..."
401
00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:47,834
"When you and I
Are far apart..."
402
00:17:47,867 --> 00:17:50,503
"...I no longer live."
403
00:17:50,537 --> 00:17:53,373
"...I no longer live."
404
00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:56,643
"My heart is bursting
From within..."
405
00:17:56,676 --> 00:17:59,879
"My heart is bursting
From within..."
406
00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:03,650
"...With all my love
To give."
407
00:18:03,683 --> 00:18:06,519
"...With all my love
To give."
408
00:18:06,553 --> 00:18:08,388
Opie,
What are you reading?
409
00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:10,157
What is it?
410
00:18:10,190 --> 00:18:12,825
It's a poem, and I bought
A present for you, too.
411
00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:16,863
"Lovesick as --"
412
00:18:16,896 --> 00:18:18,531
"Lovesick as I am..."
413
00:18:18,565 --> 00:18:20,400
"Lovesick as I am..."
414
00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:21,534
Opie, that's enough.
415
00:18:21,568 --> 00:18:23,170
Is there someone
There with you?
416
00:18:23,203 --> 00:18:24,471
Just a minute.
417
00:18:24,504 --> 00:18:26,473
She wants to know
Who's here with me.
418
00:18:26,506 --> 00:18:27,640
Nobody.
419
00:18:27,674 --> 00:18:29,509
Barney says nobody.
420
00:18:29,542 --> 00:18:30,810
Opie,
Come over here right away.
421
00:18:30,843 --> 00:18:32,245
I'd like to see you.
422
00:18:32,279 --> 00:18:34,681
All right. Right away!
Guess what!
423
00:18:34,714 --> 00:18:37,350
She wants me to come over
To her house right away.
424
00:18:37,384 --> 00:18:39,619
Well, now, that's what I call
Real action.
425
00:18:39,652 --> 00:18:41,688
I told you these things
Are surefire.
426
00:18:41,721 --> 00:18:43,156
Gee, thanks, barney.
427
00:18:43,190 --> 00:18:44,257
Glad to do it, ope.
428
00:18:44,291 --> 00:18:45,392
Glad to do it.
429
00:18:45,425 --> 00:18:46,493
[ door closes ]
430
00:18:46,526 --> 00:18:49,296
[ chuckles ]
431
00:18:49,329 --> 00:18:52,299
[ sighs ]
432
00:18:54,834 --> 00:18:58,805
[ telephone rings ]
433
00:18:58,838 --> 00:19:00,707
Sheriff's office.
434
00:19:00,740 --> 00:19:02,675
Oh, hi, helen.
435
00:19:02,709 --> 00:19:04,344
Opie? He just left.
436
00:19:04,377 --> 00:19:06,413
How'd you know he was here?
437
00:19:10,383 --> 00:19:11,884
You?
438
00:19:11,918 --> 00:19:14,587
You mean,
He was talking to you?
439
00:19:16,356 --> 00:19:18,925
Well, those are just some poems
440
00:19:18,958 --> 00:19:21,761
That I happened to remember
From my childhood.
441
00:19:21,794 --> 00:19:23,496
W-well...
442
00:19:23,530 --> 00:19:26,499
I-I thought was some kid
From school he was crazy about.
443
00:19:26,533 --> 00:19:28,468
I figured I was
Just helping him.
444
00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:32,572
There's more to a child's
Education than 2 x 2, you know.
445
00:19:32,605 --> 00:19:36,243
Well, I'm a little surprised
Myself, frankly.
446
00:19:36,276 --> 00:19:37,844
Well, goodbye to you, too.
447
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:42,181
[ door opens ]
448
00:19:44,384 --> 00:19:47,487
Well, if it ain't
Daddy longlegs.
449
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:49,322
What's that
Supposed to mean?
450
00:19:49,356 --> 00:19:50,857
What's that
Supposed to mean?
451
00:19:50,890 --> 00:19:52,992
I'll tell you
What it's supposed to mean.
452
00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:55,828
It's about time you learned
How to handle your own son.
453
00:19:55,862 --> 00:19:57,497
What are you
Talking about?
454
00:19:57,530 --> 00:19:59,232
Well,
If it don't bother you
455
00:19:59,266 --> 00:20:01,801
That your own boy
Is crazy about somebody
456
00:20:01,834 --> 00:20:03,903
That's more than twice
His own age.
457
00:20:03,936 --> 00:20:06,373
Well, then, I just --
I just don't...
458
00:20:06,406 --> 00:20:08,708
Know anything.
459
00:20:08,741 --> 00:20:10,743
Oh.
460
00:20:10,777 --> 00:20:13,280
I know he's got a crush
On an older girl.
461
00:20:13,313 --> 00:20:14,847
You do, huh?
Sure.
462
00:20:14,881 --> 00:20:16,816
You don't even know
Who she is, do you?
463
00:20:16,849 --> 00:20:19,018
No. He wants
To keep it a secret.
464
00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:21,588
Mm-hmm.
Well, brace yourself, buster.
465
00:20:21,621 --> 00:20:24,524
It happens to be helen.
466
00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:25,725
Helen?
467
00:20:25,758 --> 00:20:27,360
Helen crump.
468
00:20:27,394 --> 00:20:28,795
Did he tell you that?
469
00:20:28,828 --> 00:20:30,863
No, no,
He didn't tell me.
470
00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:34,534
No, I had to make a great big
Fool out of myself to find out.
471
00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:37,970
He had her on the telephone
There and I was helping him.
472
00:20:38,004 --> 00:20:40,039
With this?
473
00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:42,375
Well,
That's not the issue.
474
00:20:42,409 --> 00:20:44,644
That happened to be
Handy.
475
00:20:44,677 --> 00:20:47,280
What kind of a father
Are you anyways
476
00:20:47,314 --> 00:20:49,716
That you don't even know
What your own boy is up to?
477
00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:52,419
He told me you didn't have time
To talk to him.
478
00:20:52,452 --> 00:20:54,854
Well, barn, I'm sorry
You had to get involved.
479
00:20:54,887 --> 00:20:58,558
Well, the child
Needs somebody to turn to.
480
00:20:58,591 --> 00:21:00,593
He's over there
At helen's right now.
481
00:21:00,627 --> 00:21:04,030
A kid falling in love
With his teacher.
482
00:21:04,063 --> 00:21:07,266
"Poems of romance."
483
00:21:10,036 --> 00:21:11,938
Well, what are you
Gonna do about it?
484
00:21:11,971 --> 00:21:15,442
Well, I suppose
I ought to go over there.
485
00:21:15,475 --> 00:21:17,810
Yeah, that'd be
A good idea.
486
00:21:19,412 --> 00:21:21,314
Well, why don't you go on?
487
00:21:21,348 --> 00:21:23,983
Okay. You want to
Take patrol for me?
488
00:21:24,016 --> 00:21:25,685
Sure, I'll take patrol.
489
00:21:25,718 --> 00:21:27,687
Well, go, go, go!
490
00:21:28,855 --> 00:21:31,458
If you ask me, the old
School system was better --
491
00:21:31,491 --> 00:21:33,760
Where you grew up
Hating your teacher.
492
00:21:33,793 --> 00:21:35,695
It was
A lot less complicated!
493
00:21:38,398 --> 00:21:41,368
Well, it was very thoughtful
Of you, opie,
494
00:21:41,401 --> 00:21:43,736
But, well,
I-I can't accept them.
495
00:21:43,770 --> 00:21:46,105
Don't you like 'em?
496
00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:49,376
It isn't that.
It's --
497
00:21:49,409 --> 00:21:50,810
[ doorbell rings ]
498
00:21:53,780 --> 00:21:56,449
Oh, hello, andy.
Helen.
499
00:21:59,919 --> 00:22:04,524
Opie, I thought I told you
To take those stockings back.
500
00:22:04,557 --> 00:22:06,859
Paw, you said
You'd rather I would.
501
00:22:06,893 --> 00:22:08,561
You didn't say I had to.
502
00:22:08,595 --> 00:22:10,863
I think we'd better
Talk about this thing.
503
00:22:10,897 --> 00:22:12,899
I have some things --
No, no, no, no, no.
504
00:22:12,932 --> 00:22:14,434
You stay.
505
00:22:15,067 --> 00:22:17,570
[ clears throat ]
506
00:22:17,604 --> 00:22:20,973
Uh, opie,
Miss crump is a fine person,
507
00:22:21,007 --> 00:22:22,975
Just a fine person,
508
00:22:23,009 --> 00:22:25,144
And I can understand
You liking her a lot.
509
00:22:25,177 --> 00:22:26,413
Yes?
510
00:22:28,147 --> 00:22:33,853
But, ope,
The truth of the matter is,
511
00:22:33,886 --> 00:22:38,425
Miss crump is a little more
In line with my age.
512
00:22:41,193 --> 00:22:43,596
[ clears throat ] As a matter
Of fact, she's my girl.
513
00:22:43,630 --> 00:22:46,799
You're kinda stepping
Into my territory.
514
00:22:46,833 --> 00:22:48,535
That's right.
515
00:22:48,568 --> 00:22:53,640
She's my girl, like
Sharon mccall was your girl.
516
00:22:53,673 --> 00:22:55,808
Gee, paw,
I didn't know that.
517
00:22:55,842 --> 00:22:58,845
I know you didn't, son.
518
00:22:58,878 --> 00:23:00,747
I won't do anything
To break it up.
519
00:23:00,780 --> 00:23:03,149
If she's your girl,
I just won't call her anymore.
520
00:23:03,182 --> 00:23:06,018
Thanks.
521
00:23:06,052 --> 00:23:09,989
You mean, you and miss crump
Might get married some day?
522
00:23:10,022 --> 00:23:12,692
Oh, I don't know.
523
00:23:12,725 --> 00:23:14,694
We-we might.
524
00:23:14,727 --> 00:23:16,796
Gee, paw, that's swell.
525
00:23:16,829 --> 00:23:18,097
As long as she's in the family,
526
00:23:18,130 --> 00:23:19,966
I don't care
If she's my wife or my mother.
527
00:23:28,074 --> 00:23:30,910
[ country music plays ]
528
00:23:44,491 --> 00:23:47,527
That was very good, children.
That'll be all for today.
529
00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:50,830
[ indistinct talking ]
530
00:23:58,505 --> 00:24:01,073
Well, it looks like
I got here just in time.
531
00:24:01,107 --> 00:24:02,542
Sharon.
532
00:24:04,877 --> 00:24:06,946
You want me to carry
Your books for you?
533
00:24:06,979 --> 00:24:08,981
No.
Why not?
534
00:24:09,015 --> 00:24:11,117
Johnny paul told me
You love miss crump.
535
00:24:11,150 --> 00:24:13,753
That was yesterday when you were
Getting your brace fixed.
536
00:24:13,786 --> 00:24:15,221
Well, I couldn't help it.
537
00:24:15,254 --> 00:24:17,857
You want to hear something?
What?
538
00:24:17,890 --> 00:24:20,192
"When you and I are far apart,
I no longer live.
539
00:24:20,226 --> 00:24:23,129
My heart is bursting from within
With all my love to give."
540
00:24:26,165 --> 00:24:28,701
Do you want to go over
To my house and play stoopball?
541
00:24:28,735 --> 00:24:29,836
Okay.
542
00:24:33,139 --> 00:24:35,942
Well...
543
00:24:35,975 --> 00:24:38,077
Looks like you're
Left out in the cold.
544
00:24:38,110 --> 00:24:40,513
I never was much good
At stoopball.
545
00:24:40,547 --> 00:24:41,648
Mm.
546
00:24:41,681 --> 00:24:43,182
Walk you home,
Miss crump?
547
00:24:43,215 --> 00:24:45,718
Why, certainly, andrew.
548
00:24:51,558 --> 00:24:54,727
[ whistling sprightly tune ]
38741
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