All language subtitles for The Andy Griffith Show S05E01 Opie Loves Helen 1080p Amazon WEB-DL DD+ 2 0 x264-TrollHD (1)_track4_[eng]

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:05,373 [ whistling sprightly tune ] 2 00:00:09,610 --> 00:00:13,314 Starring andy griffith... 3 00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:15,449 With ronny howard... 4 00:00:15,483 --> 00:00:19,019 Also starring don knotts. 5 00:00:23,091 --> 00:00:26,227 Children, I want you to remember That all these dances we do 6 00:00:26,260 --> 00:00:29,263 Are part of learning about The people who came before us. 7 00:00:29,297 --> 00:00:32,466 The community dance was a very Important part of pioneer life. 8 00:00:32,500 --> 00:00:34,468 On saturday night When they'd finish working, 9 00:00:34,502 --> 00:00:36,170 They'd gather At the meeting hall, 10 00:00:36,204 --> 00:00:38,072 And this was their form Of entertainment, 11 00:00:38,106 --> 00:00:40,374 Whether it was a waltz, Square dance, or whatever. 12 00:00:40,408 --> 00:00:41,775 All right, dance groups, 13 00:00:41,809 --> 00:00:43,811 Shall we see how well We can do with the waltz? 14 00:00:43,844 --> 00:00:48,482 [ indistinct talking ] 15 00:00:48,516 --> 00:00:50,651 Oh, what is it, Opie? 16 00:00:50,684 --> 00:00:52,253 Sharon isn't here today. 17 00:00:52,286 --> 00:00:54,255 Oh, that's right. 18 00:00:54,288 --> 00:00:56,324 Her brace got loose, And she bit on it. 19 00:00:56,357 --> 00:00:57,725 Oh, I see. 20 00:00:57,758 --> 00:00:59,760 Well, I'll tell you what, Opie -- you dance with me. 21 00:00:59,793 --> 00:01:02,530 All right, everybody Take their positions. 22 00:01:02,563 --> 00:01:04,598 [ turntable clicks on ] 23 00:01:04,632 --> 00:01:06,667 [ "Oh my darling, clementine" Plays ] 24 00:01:44,872 --> 00:01:46,207 [ laughs ] 25 00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:47,841 [ song ends ] Fine, children. 26 00:01:47,875 --> 00:01:50,644 That was fine, class -- Just fine. 27 00:01:50,678 --> 00:01:53,714 Oh, you always Complain! 28 00:01:53,747 --> 00:01:57,618 All right, class, you have Your homework assignments. 29 00:01:57,651 --> 00:01:58,886 Class dismissed. 30 00:01:58,919 --> 00:02:01,622 [ indistinct talking ] 31 00:02:16,337 --> 00:02:17,838 Oh, yes, opie? 32 00:02:17,871 --> 00:02:19,640 Want me to scrub Your blackboard for you? 33 00:02:19,673 --> 00:02:21,709 Oh, no, thank you, opie. It doesn't need it today. 34 00:02:21,742 --> 00:02:23,344 Well, I could sharpen Your pencils. 35 00:02:23,377 --> 00:02:24,745 Well, thank you For offering, opie, 36 00:02:24,778 --> 00:02:26,280 But I haven't even Used them. 37 00:02:26,314 --> 00:02:28,449 You want me to wait In case you do use 'em? 38 00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:30,451 Oh, I'm going now Myself, opie. 39 00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:31,519 Oh. 40 00:02:31,552 --> 00:02:33,387 Well, thank you. 41 00:02:36,924 --> 00:02:39,593 Well, thank you, opie. 42 00:02:40,961 --> 00:02:43,631 [ whistling ] 43 00:02:51,705 --> 00:02:53,741 Boy, if that Ain't a picture. 44 00:02:53,774 --> 00:02:55,643 What's that? 45 00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:57,411 Your son and heir Walking along 46 00:02:57,445 --> 00:02:58,946 With helen crump Hand in hand. 47 00:02:58,979 --> 00:03:02,250 Oh, yeah. Must be coming home from school. 48 00:03:02,283 --> 00:03:04,852 Yeah. 49 00:03:04,885 --> 00:03:06,887 That's sweet. 50 00:03:09,957 --> 00:03:11,759 Boy, things Sure were different 51 00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:13,527 When you and I Went to school. 52 00:03:13,561 --> 00:03:14,928 [ chuckles ] Remember? 53 00:03:14,962 --> 00:03:17,531 Teachers and kids Were natural enemies then. 54 00:03:17,565 --> 00:03:19,633 Yeah. 55 00:03:19,667 --> 00:03:21,402 Hey, remember Mrs. Von roeder? 56 00:03:21,435 --> 00:03:22,970 Oh, the beast Of the fourth floor? 57 00:03:23,003 --> 00:03:24,272 [ laughs ] 58 00:03:24,305 --> 00:03:25,839 Beast of the fourth floor. 59 00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:27,941 Remember when we put ink In her thermos bottle? 60 00:03:27,975 --> 00:03:29,643 Remember the tack On her chair? 61 00:03:29,677 --> 00:03:32,480 Then we put that garter snake In her desk drawer. 62 00:03:32,513 --> 00:03:34,515 Yeah. 63 00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:37,651 Boy, she sure was mean. 64 00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:40,988 Well, anyway, it looks like Things have changed. 65 00:03:41,021 --> 00:03:43,824 There's an entirely different Teacher/pupil relationship, 66 00:03:43,857 --> 00:03:45,559 And I think It's very encouraging. 67 00:03:45,593 --> 00:03:46,727 I do, too. 68 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:48,596 It's a step in the right Direction, 69 00:03:48,629 --> 00:03:49,730 I'll tell you that. 70 00:03:51,632 --> 00:03:54,602 You know, that'd make it Real nice for you, too, ange. 71 00:03:54,635 --> 00:03:56,470 What do you mean? 72 00:03:56,504 --> 00:03:59,440 Helen and opie walking along Together like that. 73 00:03:59,473 --> 00:04:02,042 Oh. 74 00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:04,745 Well, I mean, In case you and helen 75 00:04:04,778 --> 00:04:08,349 Ever [clears throat] Decide To take that big step. 76 00:04:08,382 --> 00:04:10,284 Now, don't start That again. 77 00:04:10,318 --> 00:04:12,320 Any plans? No, not yet. 78 00:04:12,353 --> 00:04:13,987 Well, you must've Talked about it. 79 00:04:14,021 --> 00:04:15,656 Not really. Come on, open up. 80 00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:17,358 Barn, there's nothing To say. 81 00:04:17,391 --> 00:04:18,326 You can tell a friend. 82 00:04:18,359 --> 00:04:19,527 There's nothing to tell. 83 00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:20,728 When are you two Getting married? 84 00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:21,995 Barney! It just seems to me 85 00:04:22,029 --> 00:04:23,797 That after you've been Going with a girl 86 00:04:23,831 --> 00:04:24,965 For over two years -- 87 00:04:24,998 --> 00:04:26,334 What about you And thelma lou? 88 00:04:26,367 --> 00:04:27,635 What about me And thelma lou? 89 00:04:27,668 --> 00:04:29,470 You've been going With her for two years. 90 00:04:29,503 --> 00:04:30,604 When you gonna Get married? 91 00:04:30,638 --> 00:04:32,072 What are you Talking about? 92 00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:34,575 Come on, open up. There's nothing To open up about. 93 00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:37,077 You can tell a friend. When you gonna get married? 94 00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:40,681 Is that all You can talk about? 95 00:04:43,684 --> 00:04:46,787 Paw, can a boy go with a girl Who's older than he is? 96 00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:48,389 Do they allow that? 97 00:04:48,422 --> 00:04:50,724 Opie, why do you always Save stuff like that 98 00:04:50,758 --> 00:04:52,025 For early in the morning? 99 00:04:52,059 --> 00:04:54,061 Well, can he? 100 00:04:54,094 --> 00:04:55,863 Well, there's no law Against it. 101 00:04:55,896 --> 00:04:57,598 Why, sharon older Than you are? 102 00:04:57,631 --> 00:04:59,367 I'm not talking About sharon. 103 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:00,868 You've got a new girl? 104 00:05:00,901 --> 00:05:02,403 I'm not sure yet. 105 00:05:02,436 --> 00:05:03,904 Hmm. 106 00:05:03,937 --> 00:05:06,740 Well, I wouldn't say Age is real important. 107 00:05:06,774 --> 00:05:09,042 If she likes you and you like Her, that's the main thing. 108 00:05:09,076 --> 00:05:12,513 I think she likes me. She smiles at me a lot. 109 00:05:12,546 --> 00:05:14,081 Hmm. Well, she likes you. 110 00:05:14,114 --> 00:05:15,416 Eat. 111 00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:19,086 What about her being older Than I am? 112 00:05:19,119 --> 00:05:23,424 Well, I wouldn't let that Bother me. 113 00:05:23,457 --> 00:05:25,459 I remember when I was About your age, 114 00:05:25,493 --> 00:05:26,794 I was trying to court A little girl 115 00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:28,596 Named barbara edwards. 116 00:05:28,629 --> 00:05:32,633 She was in the upper fifth Grade, and I was in the lower. 117 00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:35,135 Now, I will admit There was some talk, 118 00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:37,905 But I didn't let it Bother me. 119 00:05:37,938 --> 00:05:39,573 What if she's older Than that? 120 00:05:39,607 --> 00:05:40,841 How much older? 121 00:05:40,874 --> 00:05:42,376 I don't know. 122 00:05:42,410 --> 00:05:44,512 With girls, it's hard to tell How old they are. 123 00:05:44,545 --> 00:05:46,380 Eat. 124 00:05:46,414 --> 00:05:48,749 I don't reckon You'd wanna tell me who it is. 125 00:05:48,782 --> 00:05:50,851 Well, it's a secret. 126 00:05:50,884 --> 00:05:52,386 Oh. 127 00:05:52,420 --> 00:05:55,122 Paw? Hmm? 128 00:05:55,155 --> 00:05:56,790 How do I tell her I like her? 129 00:05:56,824 --> 00:05:59,760 How did you tell sharon You liked her? 130 00:05:59,793 --> 00:06:01,662 I didn't have to. She knew it. 131 00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:02,930 Oh. 132 00:06:02,963 --> 00:06:04,498 Last term When she told the teacher 133 00:06:04,532 --> 00:06:05,966 The boys were the ones 134 00:06:05,999 --> 00:06:07,935 That were making all the noise On the playground, 135 00:06:07,968 --> 00:06:10,738 I was the only boy That didn't hit her. 136 00:06:10,771 --> 00:06:13,040 And besides, I give her My brand-new eraser. 137 00:06:13,073 --> 00:06:16,744 Mm. Well, why don't you give This girl an eraser? 138 00:06:16,777 --> 00:06:19,813 Nah, I think I wanna get her Something real good. Huh. 139 00:06:19,847 --> 00:06:21,582 I have 62 cents saved up, 140 00:06:21,615 --> 00:06:24,518 Not counting 6 pop bottles Aunt bee said I could take back. 141 00:06:24,552 --> 00:06:26,987 That's a pile of money To spend on a girl, ain't it? 142 00:06:27,020 --> 00:06:28,021 Please, paw. 143 00:06:30,023 --> 00:06:31,925 Well, go ahead If you want to. 144 00:06:31,959 --> 00:06:34,428 The women will get it Anyway, I reckon. 145 00:06:34,462 --> 00:06:36,464 Gee, thanks, paw. 146 00:06:38,799 --> 00:06:41,168 74 cents? Yeah. 147 00:06:41,201 --> 00:06:43,837 Boy, 74 cents -- 148 00:06:43,871 --> 00:06:47,040 That's a lot of money for a kid To spend on a present. 149 00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:49,610 Did you tell him It was okay? Yeah. 150 00:06:49,643 --> 00:06:53,013 I guess he's really got it Bad this time, huh? 151 00:06:53,046 --> 00:06:54,648 Yeah. 152 00:06:54,682 --> 00:06:57,851 Well, I suppose kids are No different than grown-ups. 153 00:06:57,885 --> 00:06:59,553 I remember I went overboard 154 00:06:59,587 --> 00:07:01,589 With thelma lou On her last birthday. 155 00:07:01,622 --> 00:07:03,090 Did you get her Something nice? 156 00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:06,026 Nicest present I ever gave her. 157 00:07:06,059 --> 00:07:07,661 Know what I did? 158 00:07:07,695 --> 00:07:08,762 Hmm. 159 00:07:08,796 --> 00:07:10,798 Took her out to dinner. 160 00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:13,834 Took her out to dinner? 161 00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:16,504 Well, yeah, you know We usually go dutch. 162 00:07:18,506 --> 00:07:20,040 Took her to morelli's. 163 00:07:20,073 --> 00:07:22,075 Oh, morelli's. Yeah. 164 00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:24,545 Huh? Yeah. 165 00:07:25,846 --> 00:07:28,215 Now, there's a place To take a girl. 166 00:07:28,248 --> 00:07:31,151 Out on the highway like that, Nice and secluded. 167 00:07:31,184 --> 00:07:33,754 Red-checkered tablecloths. 168 00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:36,657 Oh, yeah, fancy. Fancy. Fancy. 169 00:07:36,690 --> 00:07:38,191 [ chuckles ] 170 00:07:38,225 --> 00:07:41,028 You know, they'll let you Take a bottle in there. 171 00:07:41,061 --> 00:07:43,163 You didn't, did you? No. 172 00:07:47,234 --> 00:07:48,569 What did you have To eat? 173 00:07:48,602 --> 00:07:50,604 Had their deluxe special. 174 00:07:50,638 --> 00:07:52,806 You know, you can hold it down To $1.85 out there 175 00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:54,675 If you don't have The shrimp cocktail. 176 00:07:54,708 --> 00:07:56,009 Did you have Shrimp cocktail? 177 00:07:56,043 --> 00:07:57,845 Well, no. 178 00:07:57,878 --> 00:08:00,914 I told thelma lou, I said, "Let's not fill up." 179 00:08:02,550 --> 00:08:04,985 The minestrone was delicious, Though. Phew! 180 00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:07,821 Yeah, when that's made right, That's really something. 181 00:08:07,855 --> 00:08:11,825 And for the main dish, Pounded steak a la morelli. 182 00:08:11,859 --> 00:08:12,760 Oh? 183 00:08:12,793 --> 00:08:14,127 It's really pounded, too. 184 00:08:14,161 --> 00:08:15,529 No question about it. 185 00:08:15,563 --> 00:08:16,864 They got one of these Open kitchens, 186 00:08:16,897 --> 00:08:18,198 And you can look Right in there 187 00:08:18,231 --> 00:08:19,933 And watch 'em pound it Right with your own eyes. 188 00:08:19,967 --> 00:08:22,836 Oh, yeah -- kind of see What you're getting. 189 00:08:22,870 --> 00:08:24,137 Yeah. 190 00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:25,906 I tell you, andy, When that meal was finished, 191 00:08:25,939 --> 00:08:27,541 I did something I rarely do. What? 192 00:08:27,575 --> 00:08:30,243 I sent my compliments Back to the chef. 193 00:08:30,277 --> 00:08:32,546 I appreciate them things. 194 00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:38,185 He kind of looked up from His pounding and waved at me. 195 00:08:40,087 --> 00:08:43,290 I'm gonna have to take helen Over there one of these days. 196 00:08:43,323 --> 00:08:45,826 Oh, she'd love it -- Love it. 197 00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:48,829 It's not only the food, either. It's the atmosphere. 198 00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:52,099 You know, they got the candles On the tables and the music. 199 00:08:52,132 --> 00:08:54,702 They got a gypsy violinist Out there. 200 00:08:54,735 --> 00:08:58,772 He must've played six or eight Songs standing over our table. 201 00:08:58,806 --> 00:09:01,208 Of course, you got to slip him A quarter. 202 00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:04,845 Yeah, those fellas Work on tips. 203 00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:09,282 One thing about gypsies, Though-- they're moody. 204 00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:13,120 But the point I'm trying to make is, 205 00:09:13,153 --> 00:09:15,355 If our kids wanna splurge On their girlfriends, 206 00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:17,090 What do you expect? 207 00:09:17,124 --> 00:09:19,860 They get it from us. 208 00:09:20,661 --> 00:09:22,796 Thank you very much, and do come Back again, won't you? 209 00:09:22,830 --> 00:09:23,931 [ bell jingles ] 210 00:09:23,964 --> 00:09:25,699 Well, hello, opie. Hi. 211 00:09:25,733 --> 00:09:27,234 If you're collecting For red cross 212 00:09:27,267 --> 00:09:28,335 I already gave last week. 213 00:09:28,368 --> 00:09:29,703 No, I wanna buy a present. 214 00:09:29,737 --> 00:09:31,238 Oh, something For aunt bee? 215 00:09:31,271 --> 00:09:33,040 No, another lady. Oh, I see. 216 00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:35,175 Well, how much Do you want to spend? 217 00:09:35,208 --> 00:09:36,309 74 cents. 218 00:09:36,343 --> 00:09:38,679 Now, let me think. 219 00:09:38,712 --> 00:09:41,281 Say, how about a nice Handkerchief, hmm? 220 00:09:41,314 --> 00:09:42,916 Okay. 221 00:09:42,950 --> 00:09:45,118 Look, isn't that A pretty one? Gee, it's small. 222 00:09:45,152 --> 00:09:47,955 Well, that's the way Ladies' handkerchiefs are, opie, 223 00:09:47,988 --> 00:09:50,891 Although I do have Some larger ones. 224 00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:51,925 Let me see. 225 00:09:51,959 --> 00:09:54,161 Oh, yes. Here it is. 226 00:09:54,194 --> 00:09:57,330 How about this one? That's larger. 227 00:09:57,364 --> 00:09:59,066 Do you have Any colored ones? 228 00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:00,634 You don't like these. 229 00:10:00,668 --> 00:10:02,269 Well, if you had A blue one, maybe. 230 00:10:02,302 --> 00:10:04,672 Blue. Blue. 231 00:10:04,705 --> 00:10:07,407 I did see a blue -- Oh, here it is. 232 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,877 There. There's a blue one. 233 00:10:09,910 --> 00:10:11,712 Do you have Any other colors? 234 00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:26,426 I'll take this one. 235 00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:27,795 Fine. 236 00:10:27,828 --> 00:10:30,130 That'll be 50 cents Plus tax. 237 00:10:30,163 --> 00:10:33,000 Oh, but I wanna spend My whole 74 cents. 238 00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:34,234 My dear opie, 239 00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:36,103 [ bell jingles ] My dear, dear opie, 240 00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:40,107 We are not going to find Something for exactly 74 cents. 241 00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:41,374 We just are not. 242 00:10:41,408 --> 00:10:43,877 I'll be with you In a moment. 243 00:10:43,911 --> 00:10:45,913 Well, do you have anything For a little bit more? 244 00:10:45,946 --> 00:10:48,248 Well, I do have something 245 00:10:48,281 --> 00:10:51,251 That would make a very nice gift For 80 cents, 246 00:10:51,284 --> 00:10:52,986 But that would be it. 247 00:10:53,020 --> 00:10:54,121 80 cents. 248 00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:56,456 I'll take it. I'll be right back. 249 00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:58,091 Opie, where are you going? 250 00:10:58,125 --> 00:11:00,360 I have to go home And drink three bottles of pop. 251 00:11:02,262 --> 00:11:03,731 [ bell jingles ] [ sighs ] 252 00:11:09,803 --> 00:11:10,971 Andy: ope? 253 00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:14,842 How come You're not out playing? 254 00:11:14,875 --> 00:11:16,844 Well, I've been busy. 255 00:11:16,877 --> 00:11:18,846 Oh, I see You bought your present. 256 00:11:18,879 --> 00:11:21,048 Yeah. I'm not sure She's gonna like it, though. 257 00:11:21,081 --> 00:11:22,282 I expect she will. 258 00:11:22,315 --> 00:11:24,217 I'd say you got Pretty good taste. 259 00:11:24,251 --> 00:11:25,452 What did you get? 260 00:11:25,485 --> 00:11:27,855 Gee, paw, do I have to Show it to you? 261 00:11:27,888 --> 00:11:30,090 Come on, Show me what you got. 262 00:11:30,123 --> 00:11:31,792 Well, okay, I'll show it to you, 263 00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:32,960 But I can't tell you Who it's for. 264 00:11:32,993 --> 00:11:34,394 That's a secret. 265 00:11:34,427 --> 00:11:36,396 Pretty package. Maybe you better not open it. 266 00:11:36,429 --> 00:11:38,465 It's okay. I can fix it up again. 267 00:11:38,498 --> 00:11:39,967 I bet I can guess. 268 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:40,868 What? 269 00:11:40,901 --> 00:11:41,969 Jigsaw puzzle. 270 00:11:42,002 --> 00:11:43,103 Mnh-mnh. 271 00:11:43,136 --> 00:11:44,404 Box of fishhooks. 272 00:11:44,437 --> 00:11:45,806 Nope. 273 00:11:45,839 --> 00:11:47,240 Model airplane? No. 274 00:11:47,274 --> 00:11:49,442 Well, let's see what you got Your little friend. 275 00:11:50,878 --> 00:11:52,746 There. 276 00:12:05,292 --> 00:12:09,763 Opie, uh, who you planning On giving these stockings to? 277 00:12:09,797 --> 00:12:10,530 A lady. 278 00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:12,365 Well, I figured that much. 279 00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:14,001 Whoever it is, 280 00:12:14,034 --> 00:12:16,069 I don't think stockings Is the right kind of gift. 281 00:12:16,103 --> 00:12:17,871 Miss primrose said Any lady would like 'em. 282 00:12:17,905 --> 00:12:20,440 Well, sure, sure, 283 00:12:20,473 --> 00:12:23,043 But you got to know a person Real well 284 00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:25,412 'fore you give 'em Anything like that. 285 00:12:25,445 --> 00:12:27,948 And got to be older. 286 00:12:27,981 --> 00:12:32,052 See, see, stockings is Personal -- very personal. 287 00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:33,286 You understand? 288 00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:34,454 No. 289 00:12:34,487 --> 00:12:37,090 Well... 290 00:12:37,124 --> 00:12:40,460 Suppose you was to give This young lady some candy 291 00:12:40,493 --> 00:12:41,895 Or some flowers. 292 00:12:41,929 --> 00:12:43,263 That would be okay. 293 00:12:43,296 --> 00:12:44,297 You know what I mean? 294 00:12:44,331 --> 00:12:45,465 No, paw. 295 00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:52,072 Opie, stockings is something A lady wears. 296 00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:56,810 Candy -- Well, everybody gives candy. 297 00:12:56,844 --> 00:12:58,511 Candy's just something You eat. 298 00:12:58,545 --> 00:13:01,014 Now, there's your difference Right there. 299 00:13:01,048 --> 00:13:04,117 But what about stockings? 300 00:13:04,151 --> 00:13:08,088 Well, opie... Stockings, uh... 301 00:13:09,556 --> 00:13:11,825 Just take my word for it. 302 00:13:11,859 --> 00:13:14,261 Uh, I'd rather you take These stockings back. 303 00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:16,964 I'd really just rather You just take 'em back. 304 00:13:16,997 --> 00:13:18,899 Now, I've got to get On back to work. 305 00:13:18,932 --> 00:13:20,233 I'm late as it is. 306 00:13:29,409 --> 00:13:32,812 Sarah, get me The bluebird diner, will you? 307 00:13:36,016 --> 00:13:37,885 [ humming ] 308 00:13:42,289 --> 00:13:44,858 Hi, sweetie pie. 309 00:13:44,892 --> 00:13:46,927 [ clears throat ] Oh, hello, frank. 310 00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:49,196 Is juanita there? 311 00:13:49,229 --> 00:13:50,597 Okay. 312 00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:57,004 Nite? Barn. How you doing? 313 00:13:57,037 --> 00:13:58,405 [ chuckles ] 314 00:13:58,438 --> 00:14:01,141 Okay. Yeah. 315 00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:03,977 Listen, I got a little Extra-special treat 316 00:14:04,011 --> 00:14:05,345 In mind for tonight. 317 00:14:06,646 --> 00:14:09,182 Drive-in movie at mount pilot. 318 00:14:10,918 --> 00:14:13,020 Oh, I don't know What's playing. 319 00:14:13,053 --> 00:14:14,922 What difference does it make? 320 00:14:16,924 --> 00:14:18,591 Well, you know what I mean. 321 00:14:18,625 --> 00:14:20,060 [ laughing ] 322 00:14:20,093 --> 00:14:21,561 Come on. 323 00:14:21,594 --> 00:14:24,231 Don't tell me You don't know what I mean. 324 00:14:24,264 --> 00:14:27,234 Yeah. Of course you do. 325 00:14:27,267 --> 00:14:30,537 Well, we were out there Once before. 326 00:14:30,570 --> 00:14:33,173 Well, what time You gonna get off? 327 00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:35,909 Not till then? 328 00:14:35,943 --> 00:14:39,346 Well, then, you won't have time To go home and change clothes. 329 00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:41,548 Well, that's all right. 330 00:14:41,581 --> 00:14:43,316 You'll have to wear Your uniform. 331 00:14:43,350 --> 00:14:44,684 [ chuckling ] 332 00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:48,421 You wear your uniform, And I'll wear my uniform. 333 00:14:48,455 --> 00:14:51,058 [ laughing ] 334 00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:55,462 Uh, that's right, 7:30, uniform. Good-bye. 335 00:14:55,495 --> 00:14:57,130 Hi, ope. Your paw's not here. 336 00:14:57,164 --> 00:14:58,265 That's okay. 337 00:14:58,298 --> 00:15:00,100 Can I ask you something, Barney? 338 00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:01,701 Sure. What do you want to ask me? 339 00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:05,005 You go with a lot of different Ladies, don't you? 340 00:15:05,038 --> 00:15:07,674 Well, what makes you ask A thing like that? 341 00:15:07,707 --> 00:15:09,209 Don't you, barney? 342 00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:11,945 [ clears throat ] Well... 343 00:15:11,979 --> 00:15:14,047 [ clears throat ] 344 00:15:14,081 --> 00:15:17,584 As a rule, I only go With one girl at a time, 345 00:15:17,617 --> 00:15:19,719 But I suppose you might say 346 00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:23,590 I've covered a little ground In my time. Why? 347 00:15:23,623 --> 00:15:26,193 How do you say it when you want To tell 'em that you like 'em? 348 00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:30,397 Well, I think you ought to Talk to your paw 349 00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:32,065 About a thing Like that, ope. 350 00:15:32,099 --> 00:15:34,301 I tried to, But he didn't have the time, 351 00:15:34,334 --> 00:15:37,437 And besides, there's some things Paw just don't understand. 352 00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:39,339 Tell me, What should I say to her? 353 00:15:39,372 --> 00:15:44,611 Well...There's two ways You can go about this thing. 354 00:15:44,644 --> 00:15:47,380 One way is to play it hard To get, if you know what I mean. 355 00:15:47,414 --> 00:15:50,183 Well, I don't want to be Hard to get. I like her. 356 00:15:50,217 --> 00:15:52,619 Oh, well, then you got to go The other way -- 357 00:15:52,652 --> 00:15:55,722 You know, with sweet talk, Like with poetry and all that. 358 00:15:55,755 --> 00:15:57,290 All right. 359 00:15:57,324 --> 00:15:59,626 Kind of a sloppy way Of going about it, 360 00:15:59,659 --> 00:16:01,694 But it usually works. 361 00:16:01,728 --> 00:16:03,630 Do you know any poems? 362 00:16:03,663 --> 00:16:05,465 Yeah, we learned some In school. 363 00:16:05,498 --> 00:16:07,567 "I had a dog, And his name was spot --" 364 00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:09,369 No, no, no. 365 00:16:09,402 --> 00:16:10,670 We learned another one, too. 366 00:16:10,703 --> 00:16:12,539 "The boy stood On the burning deck --" 367 00:16:12,572 --> 00:16:15,008 No, that's not -- 368 00:16:15,042 --> 00:16:17,344 You see, it's-it's got to be A poem 369 00:16:17,377 --> 00:16:18,711 With -- well, I mean, 370 00:16:18,745 --> 00:16:21,514 It wouldn't have anything To do with dogs 371 00:16:21,548 --> 00:16:24,384 Or a boy being brave Or anything like that. 372 00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:28,655 Well, it's got to have Some romance in it. 373 00:16:28,688 --> 00:16:31,091 It's got to be a poem with -- Well, you know -- 374 00:16:31,124 --> 00:16:33,526 Where you tell a girl how great She is and everything. 375 00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:35,728 They didn't teach us anything Like that yet. 376 00:16:35,762 --> 00:16:37,397 They didn't, huh? No. 377 00:16:37,430 --> 00:16:39,199 Maybe we get that next term. 378 00:16:44,604 --> 00:16:48,075 You think your girlfriend's home Right now? I think so. 379 00:16:48,108 --> 00:16:50,677 Look, here's what we'll do. You get her on the telephone. 380 00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:53,646 I'll go in the back and see if I can find that book of poems. 381 00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:55,115 And you'll tell me What to say? 382 00:16:55,148 --> 00:16:56,283 Right. 383 00:17:01,154 --> 00:17:02,389 Miss sarah? 384 00:17:02,422 --> 00:17:04,424 Will you get me Miss crump, please? 385 00:17:09,096 --> 00:17:11,731 Here it is. 386 00:17:11,764 --> 00:17:13,366 Sure, I'll wait. 387 00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:14,834 Her phone's busy. 388 00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:16,569 Oh, uh, dynamite. 389 00:17:16,603 --> 00:17:19,572 These things Are just dynamite. 390 00:17:19,606 --> 00:17:21,208 Are those what I should say, Barney? 391 00:17:21,241 --> 00:17:22,475 They sure are. 392 00:17:22,509 --> 00:17:25,378 "Poems of romance" By t. Jonathan osgood. 393 00:17:25,412 --> 00:17:27,614 Now, this is Real literature. 394 00:17:27,647 --> 00:17:30,350 Oh, here's one I used A couple of times. 395 00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:32,285 Hello? Hello? 396 00:17:32,319 --> 00:17:33,520 Uh, this is opie. 397 00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:35,222 Well, hello, opie. How are you? 398 00:17:35,255 --> 00:17:36,423 What can I do for you? 399 00:17:36,456 --> 00:17:40,193 Uh, I want to tell you Something. 400 00:17:40,227 --> 00:17:44,531 "When you and I Are far apart..." 401 00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:47,834 "When you and I Are far apart..." 402 00:17:47,867 --> 00:17:50,503 "...I no longer live." 403 00:17:50,537 --> 00:17:53,373 "...I no longer live." 404 00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:56,643 "My heart is bursting From within..." 405 00:17:56,676 --> 00:17:59,879 "My heart is bursting From within..." 406 00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:03,650 "...With all my love To give." 407 00:18:03,683 --> 00:18:06,519 "...With all my love To give." 408 00:18:06,553 --> 00:18:08,388 Opie, What are you reading? 409 00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:10,157 What is it? 410 00:18:10,190 --> 00:18:12,825 It's a poem, and I bought A present for you, too. 411 00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:16,863 "Lovesick as --" 412 00:18:16,896 --> 00:18:18,531 "Lovesick as I am..." 413 00:18:18,565 --> 00:18:20,400 "Lovesick as I am..." 414 00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:21,534 Opie, that's enough. 415 00:18:21,568 --> 00:18:23,170 Is there someone There with you? 416 00:18:23,203 --> 00:18:24,471 Just a minute. 417 00:18:24,504 --> 00:18:26,473 She wants to know Who's here with me. 418 00:18:26,506 --> 00:18:27,640 Nobody. 419 00:18:27,674 --> 00:18:29,509 Barney says nobody. 420 00:18:29,542 --> 00:18:30,810 Opie, Come over here right away. 421 00:18:30,843 --> 00:18:32,245 I'd like to see you. 422 00:18:32,279 --> 00:18:34,681 All right. Right away! Guess what! 423 00:18:34,714 --> 00:18:37,350 She wants me to come over To her house right away. 424 00:18:37,384 --> 00:18:39,619 Well, now, that's what I call Real action. 425 00:18:39,652 --> 00:18:41,688 I told you these things Are surefire. 426 00:18:41,721 --> 00:18:43,156 Gee, thanks, barney. 427 00:18:43,190 --> 00:18:44,257 Glad to do it, ope. 428 00:18:44,291 --> 00:18:45,392 Glad to do it. 429 00:18:45,425 --> 00:18:46,493 [ door closes ] 430 00:18:46,526 --> 00:18:49,296 [ chuckles ] 431 00:18:49,329 --> 00:18:52,299 [ sighs ] 432 00:18:54,834 --> 00:18:58,805 [ telephone rings ] 433 00:18:58,838 --> 00:19:00,707 Sheriff's office. 434 00:19:00,740 --> 00:19:02,675 Oh, hi, helen. 435 00:19:02,709 --> 00:19:04,344 Opie? He just left. 436 00:19:04,377 --> 00:19:06,413 How'd you know he was here? 437 00:19:10,383 --> 00:19:11,884 You? 438 00:19:11,918 --> 00:19:14,587 You mean, He was talking to you? 439 00:19:16,356 --> 00:19:18,925 Well, those are just some poems 440 00:19:18,958 --> 00:19:21,761 That I happened to remember From my childhood. 441 00:19:21,794 --> 00:19:23,496 W-well... 442 00:19:23,530 --> 00:19:26,499 I-I thought was some kid From school he was crazy about. 443 00:19:26,533 --> 00:19:28,468 I figured I was Just helping him. 444 00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:32,572 There's more to a child's Education than 2 x 2, you know. 445 00:19:32,605 --> 00:19:36,243 Well, I'm a little surprised Myself, frankly. 446 00:19:36,276 --> 00:19:37,844 Well, goodbye to you, too. 447 00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:42,181 [ door opens ] 448 00:19:44,384 --> 00:19:47,487 Well, if it ain't Daddy longlegs. 449 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:49,322 What's that Supposed to mean? 450 00:19:49,356 --> 00:19:50,857 What's that Supposed to mean? 451 00:19:50,890 --> 00:19:52,992 I'll tell you What it's supposed to mean. 452 00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:55,828 It's about time you learned How to handle your own son. 453 00:19:55,862 --> 00:19:57,497 What are you Talking about? 454 00:19:57,530 --> 00:19:59,232 Well, If it don't bother you 455 00:19:59,266 --> 00:20:01,801 That your own boy Is crazy about somebody 456 00:20:01,834 --> 00:20:03,903 That's more than twice His own age. 457 00:20:03,936 --> 00:20:06,373 Well, then, I just -- I just don't... 458 00:20:06,406 --> 00:20:08,708 Know anything. 459 00:20:08,741 --> 00:20:10,743 Oh. 460 00:20:10,777 --> 00:20:13,280 I know he's got a crush On an older girl. 461 00:20:13,313 --> 00:20:14,847 You do, huh? Sure. 462 00:20:14,881 --> 00:20:16,816 You don't even know Who she is, do you? 463 00:20:16,849 --> 00:20:19,018 No. He wants To keep it a secret. 464 00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:21,588 Mm-hmm. Well, brace yourself, buster. 465 00:20:21,621 --> 00:20:24,524 It happens to be helen. 466 00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:25,725 Helen? 467 00:20:25,758 --> 00:20:27,360 Helen crump. 468 00:20:27,394 --> 00:20:28,795 Did he tell you that? 469 00:20:28,828 --> 00:20:30,863 No, no, He didn't tell me. 470 00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:34,534 No, I had to make a great big Fool out of myself to find out. 471 00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:37,970 He had her on the telephone There and I was helping him. 472 00:20:38,004 --> 00:20:40,039 With this? 473 00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:42,375 Well, That's not the issue. 474 00:20:42,409 --> 00:20:44,644 That happened to be Handy. 475 00:20:44,677 --> 00:20:47,280 What kind of a father Are you anyways 476 00:20:47,314 --> 00:20:49,716 That you don't even know What your own boy is up to? 477 00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:52,419 He told me you didn't have time To talk to him. 478 00:20:52,452 --> 00:20:54,854 Well, barn, I'm sorry You had to get involved. 479 00:20:54,887 --> 00:20:58,558 Well, the child Needs somebody to turn to. 480 00:20:58,591 --> 00:21:00,593 He's over there At helen's right now. 481 00:21:00,627 --> 00:21:04,030 A kid falling in love With his teacher. 482 00:21:04,063 --> 00:21:07,266 "Poems of romance." 483 00:21:10,036 --> 00:21:11,938 Well, what are you Gonna do about it? 484 00:21:11,971 --> 00:21:15,442 Well, I suppose I ought to go over there. 485 00:21:15,475 --> 00:21:17,810 Yeah, that'd be A good idea. 486 00:21:19,412 --> 00:21:21,314 Well, why don't you go on? 487 00:21:21,348 --> 00:21:23,983 Okay. You want to Take patrol for me? 488 00:21:24,016 --> 00:21:25,685 Sure, I'll take patrol. 489 00:21:25,718 --> 00:21:27,687 Well, go, go, go! 490 00:21:28,855 --> 00:21:31,458 If you ask me, the old School system was better -- 491 00:21:31,491 --> 00:21:33,760 Where you grew up Hating your teacher. 492 00:21:33,793 --> 00:21:35,695 It was A lot less complicated! 493 00:21:38,398 --> 00:21:41,368 Well, it was very thoughtful Of you, opie, 494 00:21:41,401 --> 00:21:43,736 But, well, I-I can't accept them. 495 00:21:43,770 --> 00:21:46,105 Don't you like 'em? 496 00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:49,376 It isn't that. It's -- 497 00:21:49,409 --> 00:21:50,810 [ doorbell rings ] 498 00:21:53,780 --> 00:21:56,449 Oh, hello, andy. Helen. 499 00:21:59,919 --> 00:22:04,524 Opie, I thought I told you To take those stockings back. 500 00:22:04,557 --> 00:22:06,859 Paw, you said You'd rather I would. 501 00:22:06,893 --> 00:22:08,561 You didn't say I had to. 502 00:22:08,595 --> 00:22:10,863 I think we'd better Talk about this thing. 503 00:22:10,897 --> 00:22:12,899 I have some things -- No, no, no, no, no. 504 00:22:12,932 --> 00:22:14,434 You stay. 505 00:22:15,067 --> 00:22:17,570 [ clears throat ] 506 00:22:17,604 --> 00:22:20,973 Uh, opie, Miss crump is a fine person, 507 00:22:21,007 --> 00:22:22,975 Just a fine person, 508 00:22:23,009 --> 00:22:25,144 And I can understand You liking her a lot. 509 00:22:25,177 --> 00:22:26,413 Yes? 510 00:22:28,147 --> 00:22:33,853 But, ope, The truth of the matter is, 511 00:22:33,886 --> 00:22:38,425 Miss crump is a little more In line with my age. 512 00:22:41,193 --> 00:22:43,596 [ clears throat ] As a matter Of fact, she's my girl. 513 00:22:43,630 --> 00:22:46,799 You're kinda stepping Into my territory. 514 00:22:46,833 --> 00:22:48,535 That's right. 515 00:22:48,568 --> 00:22:53,640 She's my girl, like Sharon mccall was your girl. 516 00:22:53,673 --> 00:22:55,808 Gee, paw, I didn't know that. 517 00:22:55,842 --> 00:22:58,845 I know you didn't, son. 518 00:22:58,878 --> 00:23:00,747 I won't do anything To break it up. 519 00:23:00,780 --> 00:23:03,149 If she's your girl, I just won't call her anymore. 520 00:23:03,182 --> 00:23:06,018 Thanks. 521 00:23:06,052 --> 00:23:09,989 You mean, you and miss crump Might get married some day? 522 00:23:10,022 --> 00:23:12,692 Oh, I don't know. 523 00:23:12,725 --> 00:23:14,694 We-we might. 524 00:23:14,727 --> 00:23:16,796 Gee, paw, that's swell. 525 00:23:16,829 --> 00:23:18,097 As long as she's in the family, 526 00:23:18,130 --> 00:23:19,966 I don't care If she's my wife or my mother. 527 00:23:28,074 --> 00:23:30,910 [ country music plays ] 528 00:23:44,491 --> 00:23:47,527 That was very good, children. That'll be all for today. 529 00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:50,830 [ indistinct talking ] 530 00:23:58,505 --> 00:24:01,073 Well, it looks like I got here just in time. 531 00:24:01,107 --> 00:24:02,542 Sharon. 532 00:24:04,877 --> 00:24:06,946 You want me to carry Your books for you? 533 00:24:06,979 --> 00:24:08,981 No. Why not? 534 00:24:09,015 --> 00:24:11,117 Johnny paul told me You love miss crump. 535 00:24:11,150 --> 00:24:13,753 That was yesterday when you were Getting your brace fixed. 536 00:24:13,786 --> 00:24:15,221 Well, I couldn't help it. 537 00:24:15,254 --> 00:24:17,857 You want to hear something? What? 538 00:24:17,890 --> 00:24:20,192 "When you and I are far apart, I no longer live. 539 00:24:20,226 --> 00:24:23,129 My heart is bursting from within With all my love to give." 540 00:24:26,165 --> 00:24:28,701 Do you want to go over To my house and play stoopball? 541 00:24:28,735 --> 00:24:29,836 Okay. 542 00:24:33,139 --> 00:24:35,942 Well... 543 00:24:35,975 --> 00:24:38,077 Looks like you're Left out in the cold. 544 00:24:38,110 --> 00:24:40,513 I never was much good At stoopball. 545 00:24:40,547 --> 00:24:41,648 Mm. 546 00:24:41,681 --> 00:24:43,182 Walk you home, Miss crump? 547 00:24:43,215 --> 00:24:45,718 Why, certainly, andrew. 548 00:24:51,558 --> 00:24:54,727 [ whistling sprightly tune ] 38741

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