All language subtitles for The Andy Griffith Show S03E27 Barneys First Car 1080p Amazon WEB-DL DD+ 2 0 x264-TrollHD (1)_track4_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:05,373 [ whistling sprightly tune ] 2 00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:12,813 Starring andy griffith... 3 00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:15,316 With ronny howard... 4 00:00:15,349 --> 00:00:18,686 Also starring don knotts. 5 00:00:21,422 --> 00:00:24,058 [ whistling ] 6 00:00:24,092 --> 00:00:25,726 Hi, ange. [ sniffles ] 7 00:00:25,759 --> 00:00:27,128 Hello, barn. 8 00:00:27,161 --> 00:00:29,430 [ vocalizing ] 9 00:00:34,102 --> 00:00:37,505 Boy, you sure Are happy today. 10 00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:39,207 Yeah. You bet I am. 11 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:43,144 And here's 300 Little reasons why. 12 00:00:43,177 --> 00:00:45,213 $300? 13 00:00:45,246 --> 00:00:46,480 That's right. 14 00:00:46,514 --> 00:00:48,682 That's all you Had in the bank, Ain't it? 15 00:00:48,716 --> 00:00:49,850 Yeah. I drew it out. 16 00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:51,285 For what? 17 00:00:51,319 --> 00:00:53,221 Guess. I can't guess. 18 00:00:53,254 --> 00:00:55,189 Guess. I can't guess. 19 00:00:55,223 --> 00:00:56,590 Guess! Well... 20 00:00:56,624 --> 00:00:58,292 I'm gonna buy a car. 21 00:00:58,326 --> 00:00:59,793 You're gonna what? 22 00:00:59,827 --> 00:01:01,229 I'm gonna buy a car. 23 00:01:01,262 --> 00:01:02,796 I drew my savings out Of the bank 24 00:01:02,830 --> 00:01:05,099 And I'm gonna get myself An automobile. 25 00:01:05,133 --> 00:01:06,467 That's your Nest egg. 26 00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:09,203 Nest egg notwithstanding, I'm gonna live a little. 27 00:01:09,237 --> 00:01:10,538 Are you sure? 28 00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:12,473 You're welcome To the patrol car anytime. 29 00:01:12,506 --> 00:01:14,442 Thanks but no, thanks. 30 00:01:14,475 --> 00:01:16,477 About time I had A car of my own. 31 00:01:16,510 --> 00:01:19,780 From now on, I am Mr. Independent wheels. 32 00:01:22,183 --> 00:01:25,219 Here's one For a fixer-upper. 33 00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:29,157 "1949 hudson terraplane -- 34 00:01:29,190 --> 00:01:33,194 "Was fallen on last saturday By a 30-ton semi trailer. 35 00:01:33,227 --> 00:01:35,863 "Lots of miles left In the rubber. 36 00:01:35,896 --> 00:01:38,866 Cash or swap For 12 good laying hens." 37 00:01:38,899 --> 00:01:42,203 I wonder what kind of shape That's in. 38 00:01:42,236 --> 00:01:44,138 Hey, barn. Hmm? 39 00:01:44,172 --> 00:01:45,406 Tomorrow's sunday. 40 00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:46,807 Why don't you wait Till the first of the week 41 00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:48,542 Before you make Such a big decision? 42 00:01:48,576 --> 00:01:52,646 Ange, when the old steel trap In here has made up its mind, 43 00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:54,248 There's no turning back. 44 00:01:56,517 --> 00:01:57,785 Hey, ange? 45 00:01:57,818 --> 00:01:59,153 Hmm? 46 00:01:59,187 --> 00:02:01,855 This looks Right up my street. 47 00:02:01,889 --> 00:02:03,924 "Aged widow must sell 48 00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:07,295 "Beautifully maintained Low-mileage car. 49 00:02:07,328 --> 00:02:10,798 "One owner. 1954 ford sedan 50 00:02:10,831 --> 00:02:13,801 "Has been driven only To church on sunday 51 00:02:13,834 --> 00:02:16,637 "And once a year to Aunt martha's for thanksgiving. 52 00:02:16,670 --> 00:02:17,838 "No dealers. 53 00:02:17,871 --> 00:02:19,473 "Any reasonable offer. 54 00:02:19,507 --> 00:02:24,712 The good lord willing, You'll call mp-3791." 55 00:02:24,745 --> 00:02:26,414 That's over In mt. Pilot. 56 00:02:26,447 --> 00:02:29,483 You see? This is the day I'm supposed to buy a car. 57 00:02:29,517 --> 00:02:31,585 It's the old Handwriting on the wall. 58 00:02:31,619 --> 00:02:33,621 "Buy a car today, barney!" 59 00:02:35,889 --> 00:02:38,526 Relax, barn. Come on. Sit down. 60 00:02:38,559 --> 00:02:40,461 The car will be here In a minute. 61 00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:52,540 This is just about The biggest thing I ever bought. 62 00:02:52,573 --> 00:02:53,741 It's a major step. 63 00:02:53,774 --> 00:02:55,543 Last big buy I made was 64 00:02:55,576 --> 00:02:58,212 My mom's and dad's Anniversary present. 65 00:02:58,246 --> 00:02:59,447 What'd you get 'em? 66 00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:01,349 Septic tank. 67 00:03:05,353 --> 00:03:07,288 For their anniversary? 68 00:03:07,321 --> 00:03:08,456 Yeah. 69 00:03:08,489 --> 00:03:10,324 Oh, they're really Hard to buy for. 70 00:03:10,358 --> 00:03:12,526 Besides, it Was something They could use. 71 00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:14,328 They were Really thrilled. 72 00:03:14,362 --> 00:03:17,698 Two tons of concrete, All steel reinforced. 73 00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:23,471 You're a fine son, barn. 74 00:03:23,504 --> 00:03:25,239 Well, I try. 75 00:03:25,273 --> 00:03:28,276 [ horn honking ] 76 00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:48,696 [ car door opens ] 77 00:04:08,449 --> 00:04:09,717 Did you see that? 78 00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:11,452 That's the tip-off. 79 00:04:11,485 --> 00:04:14,855 This car's just been sittin' On a velvet pillow. 80 00:04:14,888 --> 00:04:16,557 Mrs. Lesch! 81 00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:18,292 Yes. 82 00:04:18,326 --> 00:04:19,593 Mr. Fife? 83 00:04:19,627 --> 00:04:21,462 That's right, ma'am. 84 00:04:21,495 --> 00:04:24,898 Well, I guess this is The, uh, the car, huh? 85 00:04:24,932 --> 00:04:28,769 This is, uh, my late Husband's machine. 86 00:04:28,802 --> 00:04:30,037 Oh, I'm sorry. 87 00:04:30,070 --> 00:04:32,506 Oh, my friend andy taylor. 88 00:04:32,540 --> 00:04:33,774 How do, ma'am? 89 00:04:33,807 --> 00:04:34,975 Pleasure. 90 00:04:35,008 --> 00:04:36,910 Well, you mind If I give her a once-over? 91 00:04:36,944 --> 00:04:39,046 Oh, mercy. You do Whatever you like. 92 00:04:39,079 --> 00:04:40,047 All right. 93 00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:41,449 I-I'm sorry I'm late. 94 00:04:41,482 --> 00:04:43,484 It took me four hours From mt. Pilot. 95 00:04:43,517 --> 00:04:45,319 You didn't have trouble, Did you? 96 00:04:45,353 --> 00:04:47,321 It usually takes Just about a hour. 97 00:04:47,355 --> 00:04:49,423 Oh, well, I never Drive the machine 98 00:04:49,457 --> 00:04:50,758 Over 25 miles an hour 99 00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,360 And I also like To give it 100 00:04:52,393 --> 00:04:54,462 A ten-minutes' rest Every half hour. 101 00:04:54,495 --> 00:04:55,996 How much Do you want for it? 102 00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:59,867 Well, uh, couldn't we Talk just a little bit? 103 00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:01,602 I hardly know you. 104 00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:03,036 Oh, well, mrs. Lesch... 105 00:05:03,070 --> 00:05:05,506 If you're worried About his credit rating, 106 00:05:05,539 --> 00:05:06,674 I can vouch for that. 107 00:05:06,707 --> 00:05:09,109 Oh, no, you don't Understand. 108 00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:13,013 You see, my husband loved And cherished this machine. 109 00:05:13,046 --> 00:05:17,084 He wanted to make sure It-it got a good home 110 00:05:17,117 --> 00:05:19,787 So, so you see, Money is not 111 00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:22,423 The prime Objective here. 112 00:05:22,456 --> 00:05:26,360 Well, I'm known as a very Nice person, mrs. Lesch. 113 00:05:26,394 --> 00:05:29,096 You can ask anybody Here in town, right, ange? 114 00:05:29,129 --> 00:05:30,864 You certainly can. 115 00:05:30,898 --> 00:05:32,833 That's good Enough for me. 116 00:05:32,866 --> 00:05:35,002 Even if you hadn't Said anything, 117 00:05:35,035 --> 00:05:39,373 I could tell there Was a lot of kindness Behind those eyes. 118 00:05:39,407 --> 00:05:41,475 Well, that's me. 119 00:05:41,509 --> 00:05:43,444 Kind behind the eyes. 120 00:05:43,477 --> 00:05:44,945 How much did you want? 121 00:05:44,978 --> 00:05:49,917 Well, uh, I do owe The pilot pines Funeral parlor $140 122 00:05:49,950 --> 00:05:54,021 And then there's The lawyer and Dad did leave 123 00:05:54,054 --> 00:05:55,389 A few debts. 124 00:05:55,423 --> 00:05:57,725 He-he wasn't very good With money. 125 00:05:57,758 --> 00:06:00,127 I bet he had A good heart, though. 126 00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:04,031 Oh, bless you. 127 00:06:04,064 --> 00:06:05,899 You talk like You knew him. 128 00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:09,470 Suppose I give you... 129 00:06:09,503 --> 00:06:10,838 Uh, uh, uh, barn...? 130 00:06:10,871 --> 00:06:13,106 Mrs. Lesch, would you excuse us Just a minute? 131 00:06:13,140 --> 00:06:14,374 Of course. 132 00:06:17,645 --> 00:06:18,846 Don't you think 133 00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:20,180 You're jumping into This thing awful fast? 134 00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:21,782 Andy, I don't want To lose it. 135 00:06:21,815 --> 00:06:23,951 There ain't Another buyer in 20 feet of you. 136 00:06:23,984 --> 00:06:25,719 I'd advise you To take a spin in it. 137 00:06:25,753 --> 00:06:27,120 Go over to the Fillin' station 138 00:06:27,154 --> 00:06:29,056 And let wally Crawl underneath And look it over. 139 00:06:29,089 --> 00:06:30,658 I'd be insulting her. 140 00:06:30,691 --> 00:06:32,092 It wouldn't be an insult. This is business. 141 00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:33,561 It's a big step In your life. 142 00:06:33,594 --> 00:06:34,728 Mr. Fife? 143 00:06:34,762 --> 00:06:35,863 Yes? 144 00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:37,665 If, uh, if you'd like 145 00:06:37,698 --> 00:06:40,033 To drive the car around A little bit, 146 00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:41,635 You feel free to do so. 147 00:06:41,669 --> 00:06:44,171 As a matter of fact, I would suggest that you take it 148 00:06:44,204 --> 00:06:46,474 To a mechanic you can trust And have him look it over... 149 00:06:46,507 --> 00:06:47,908 I trust you, Mrs. Lesch. 150 00:06:47,941 --> 00:06:50,544 Why don't you Do that, barn? 151 00:06:50,578 --> 00:06:52,880 After all, I am a stranger to you. 152 00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:56,183 Now, please, get in the car And, and take it to a mechanic. 153 00:06:56,216 --> 00:06:57,551 No! 154 00:06:57,585 --> 00:06:59,520 Now how much do you want, Mrs. Lesch? 155 00:06:59,553 --> 00:07:00,754 [ sighs ] 156 00:07:00,788 --> 00:07:03,090 Oh, I know so little About such matters... 157 00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:06,026 Well, uh, Nobody asked me, 158 00:07:06,059 --> 00:07:08,896 But I'd say A hundred dollars is A right fair price. 159 00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:10,998 That car is nearly Ten years old. 160 00:07:12,232 --> 00:07:14,535 Excuse me, mrs. Lesch. 161 00:07:14,568 --> 00:07:16,737 Andy, that's an insult. 162 00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,205 I've got $300. 163 00:07:20,007 --> 00:07:22,710 Uh, mr. Fife... 164 00:07:22,743 --> 00:07:24,978 I-I have the total On those figures. 165 00:07:25,012 --> 00:07:26,747 The funeral home, The lawyer, 166 00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,716 The property and Inheritance tax 167 00:07:28,749 --> 00:07:32,853 And it comes To $297.50. 168 00:07:32,886 --> 00:07:33,887 What a coincidence. 169 00:07:33,921 --> 00:07:35,055 I just happen to have... 170 00:07:35,088 --> 00:07:37,625 Well, it's probably More, but, uh, 171 00:07:37,658 --> 00:07:41,595 I'm so muddle-headed since My dear late bernard passed on. 172 00:07:41,629 --> 00:07:44,231 Bernard? 173 00:07:44,264 --> 00:07:47,134 That was Your husband's name? 174 00:07:47,167 --> 00:07:48,902 That's my name! 175 00:07:48,936 --> 00:07:50,037 They call me barney, 176 00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:52,139 But that's just a nick For bernard. 177 00:07:52,172 --> 00:07:54,942 B-e-r-n-a-r-d? 178 00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:56,143 Yeah. 179 00:07:56,176 --> 00:07:58,245 Oh. Oh, I feel Just as if the car's 180 00:07:58,278 --> 00:08:00,147 Going to stay in the family. 181 00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:02,616 Let's make the deal Right here and now. 182 00:08:02,650 --> 00:08:04,251 Here's $300 even. 183 00:08:04,284 --> 00:08:09,289 And I'll give you, Uh, $2.50 change. 184 00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:10,758 No. Mrs. Lesch... 185 00:08:10,791 --> 00:08:13,827 That's for mr. Lesch's Favorite charity. 186 00:08:17,798 --> 00:08:19,032 Bless you. 187 00:08:19,066 --> 00:08:20,300 All right. 188 00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:22,069 I'll, uh, I'll Have to mail you 189 00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:23,637 The ownership Certificate. 190 00:08:23,671 --> 00:08:26,073 Mail him? But, uh, I thought... 191 00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:27,541 Andy, I'll handle this. 192 00:08:27,575 --> 00:08:29,710 That's perfectly all right, Mrs. Lesch. 193 00:08:31,679 --> 00:08:33,113 Here are the keys. 194 00:08:36,083 --> 00:08:37,751 Rabbit's foot. 195 00:08:37,785 --> 00:08:39,720 That was my barney's. 196 00:08:43,323 --> 00:08:46,293 You probably want to keep this For your scrapbook. 197 00:08:46,326 --> 00:08:50,764 No. I want you To keep it. 198 00:08:53,801 --> 00:08:55,969 Let me drive you To mt. Pilot? 199 00:08:56,003 --> 00:08:58,739 No, thank you. That won't be necessary. 200 00:08:58,772 --> 00:09:02,075 My nephew is picking me up At the church around the corner. 201 00:09:02,109 --> 00:09:03,911 I'll have a moment to meditate. 202 00:09:03,944 --> 00:09:07,180 Bless you. 203 00:09:27,868 --> 00:09:30,971 Don't look back, Mrs. Lesch. 204 00:09:49,757 --> 00:09:51,324 How'd you do, myrt? 205 00:09:51,358 --> 00:09:52,960 Unloaded another one, jake. 206 00:09:52,993 --> 00:09:55,996 300 easy clams From the sucker of the world. 207 00:09:56,029 --> 00:09:57,264 Let's blow. 208 00:09:57,297 --> 00:09:58,766 Bless you, jake. 209 00:10:04,271 --> 00:10:05,906 Nice. 210 00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:08,175 All right, people, Let me have your attention. 211 00:10:08,208 --> 00:10:10,077 Let me have your attention, Please. 212 00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:12,079 Everybody, Let me have your attention. 213 00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:14,715 Ope, don't lean Against the car. 214 00:10:14,748 --> 00:10:16,016 Let's get This ride started. 215 00:10:16,049 --> 00:10:17,184 Where do you Want us to sit? 216 00:10:17,217 --> 00:10:18,185 Well, let's see. 217 00:10:18,218 --> 00:10:19,920 Um, aunt bee... 218 00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:23,256 Let's see, I want to Distribute the weight even 219 00:10:23,290 --> 00:10:24,658 So she'll ride smooth. 220 00:10:24,692 --> 00:10:26,093 For heaven's Sakes, barn, 221 00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:27,895 It's not a boat Or a airplane. 222 00:10:27,928 --> 00:10:30,163 I just don't want To overload the springs! 223 00:10:30,197 --> 00:10:31,699 I can Understand that. 224 00:10:31,732 --> 00:10:33,734 All right, now For the back seat. 225 00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:35,769 Aunt bee, you sit In the back seat 226 00:10:35,803 --> 00:10:36,937 And, gomer, you sit 227 00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:38,772 In the back seat With aunt bee 228 00:10:38,806 --> 00:10:39,973 And, ope, you sit 229 00:10:40,007 --> 00:10:42,142 In the back seat With gomer and aunt bee. 230 00:10:42,175 --> 00:10:44,311 Now that takes care Of the back seat. 231 00:10:44,344 --> 00:10:45,813 Now for the front seat: 232 00:10:45,846 --> 00:10:48,682 Now, I'll drive, so I'll Sit in the front seat 233 00:10:48,716 --> 00:10:50,183 And, thelma lou, you'll sit 234 00:10:50,217 --> 00:10:52,319 In the front seat Next to the driver 235 00:10:52,352 --> 00:10:53,987 And, andy, you'll sit In the front seat 236 00:10:54,021 --> 00:10:55,255 Next to thelma lou And the driver. 237 00:10:55,288 --> 00:10:57,290 And that takes care Of the front seat. 238 00:10:57,324 --> 00:10:58,792 Okay, ange? Fine. 239 00:10:58,826 --> 00:11:00,694 Okay, all you people Assigned to the back seat 240 00:11:00,728 --> 00:11:02,329 Load up! 241 00:11:02,362 --> 00:11:04,031 Don't open the door, ope. Don't touch the door. 242 00:11:04,064 --> 00:11:06,033 I know how To open a car door. 243 00:11:06,066 --> 00:11:08,101 I'll handle the door. Let's go. Everybody in. 244 00:11:08,135 --> 00:11:09,236 Aunt bee in first. 245 00:11:09,269 --> 00:11:11,038 I like The back seat. 246 00:11:11,071 --> 00:11:14,107 Okay, that's it-- then ope. Ope goes in next. 247 00:11:14,141 --> 00:11:16,977 You going to do it, Or you want me to do it? 248 00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:18,311 Oh, just get in! 249 00:11:24,051 --> 00:11:27,354 You all right There, gomer? 250 00:11:27,387 --> 00:11:28,756 This just happens to be 251 00:11:28,789 --> 00:11:30,323 A very delicate piece Of machinery 252 00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:31,992 That's been treated With kid gloves 253 00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:33,260 And I intend to continue 254 00:11:33,293 --> 00:11:35,162 To give it that Same kind of care. 255 00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:37,164 I admire you For that, barney. 256 00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:38,799 That's just what I'd do. 257 00:11:38,832 --> 00:11:40,433 [ door slams ] 258 00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:45,238 All right, is everybody Set back there? 259 00:11:45,272 --> 00:11:46,239 I'm all set. 260 00:11:46,273 --> 00:11:47,274 I'm all set. 261 00:11:47,307 --> 00:11:48,275 I'm all set. 262 00:11:48,308 --> 00:11:49,476 How about The front seat? 263 00:11:49,509 --> 00:11:50,477 I'm all set. 264 00:11:50,510 --> 00:11:51,478 I'm all set. 265 00:11:51,511 --> 00:11:52,980 Hope I don't get carsick. 266 00:11:53,013 --> 00:11:56,216 Opie, you trade Places with gomer. 267 00:11:56,249 --> 00:11:58,952 I want him Near a window. 268 00:12:01,154 --> 00:12:03,423 Okay, here we go. 269 00:12:03,456 --> 00:12:06,059 [ starter whirring ] 270 00:12:08,929 --> 00:12:10,931 You might be mashing Down too hard 271 00:12:10,964 --> 00:12:12,933 On your acceleration, Flooding her out. 272 00:12:12,966 --> 00:12:14,201 I'll handle this, Gomer. 273 00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:15,936 I think gomer's right. I smell gas. 274 00:12:15,969 --> 00:12:17,204 Do you smell gas? 275 00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:18,338 I smell gas. 276 00:12:18,371 --> 00:12:19,773 I smell gas. I smell gas. 277 00:12:19,807 --> 00:12:21,174 I smell gas, too. 278 00:12:21,208 --> 00:12:23,811 All right, you smell gas! 'course you smell gas. 279 00:12:23,844 --> 00:12:25,813 What do you think This car runs on, coal? 280 00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:28,916 [ engine starts ] 281 00:12:28,949 --> 00:12:30,350 [ all cheer ] 282 00:12:44,531 --> 00:12:47,234 All: * here a quack, there a quack, Everywhere a quack-quack * 283 00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,269 * old macdonald had a farm 284 00:12:49,302 --> 00:12:51,304 * ee-I-ee-I-o 285 00:12:51,338 --> 00:12:53,406 * and on his farm, he had a... 286 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:54,908 Chicken. Chicken. 287 00:12:54,942 --> 00:12:56,944 * ee-I-ee-I-o [ thumping ] 288 00:12:56,977 --> 00:12:59,312 * with a chick-chick here And a chick-chick there * Wait a minute. 289 00:12:59,346 --> 00:13:00,814 * here a chick, there a chick, Everywhere a chick-chick * 290 00:13:00,848 --> 00:13:02,049 Hold it, everybody. Listen. 291 00:13:02,082 --> 00:13:04,084 [ thumping continues ] 292 00:13:08,155 --> 00:13:09,556 Just bumps on the road. 293 00:13:09,589 --> 00:13:11,491 What it sounds like To me. 294 00:13:11,524 --> 00:13:13,226 Just bumps on the road. 295 00:13:13,260 --> 00:13:15,062 That's what it sounds like To me. 296 00:13:15,095 --> 00:13:17,030 Me too. 297 00:13:17,064 --> 00:13:20,333 [ thumping intensifies ] 298 00:13:20,367 --> 00:13:24,437 That ain't no bumps On the road. 299 00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:26,573 Wonder what that is. 300 00:13:30,343 --> 00:13:32,312 [ clanking, thudding ] 301 00:13:34,514 --> 00:13:37,918 Whatever it was, it fell off And can't hurt you anymore. 302 00:13:44,624 --> 00:13:45,959 Andy? 303 00:13:45,993 --> 00:13:47,094 Ma'am? 304 00:13:47,127 --> 00:13:49,196 Is that the johnson Farm down there? 305 00:13:49,229 --> 00:13:50,330 Uh-huh. 306 00:13:50,363 --> 00:13:53,533 I see they painted Their barn. 307 00:13:53,566 --> 00:13:55,368 I love red barns. 308 00:13:55,402 --> 00:13:57,470 I think the Johnsons keep Their farm up 309 00:13:57,504 --> 00:13:59,106 Better than anybody Around here. 310 00:13:59,139 --> 00:14:01,474 Their farm's a picture No artist could draw. 311 00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:04,344 Oh, by the way, gomer, How are you feeling? 312 00:14:04,377 --> 00:14:07,414 Sick as a dog, but having The time of my life. 313 00:14:07,447 --> 00:14:10,583 Opie: Would you take me out To johnsons' sometime, pa? 314 00:14:10,617 --> 00:14:12,385 Andy: Sure. 315 00:14:12,419 --> 00:14:14,387 Mr. Johnson might Let you milk a cow. 316 00:14:14,421 --> 00:14:17,590 [ indian snake-charmer Background music plays ] 317 00:14:24,597 --> 00:14:27,901 Would you take me out to Johnsons' sometime, baa... Rney! 318 00:14:32,639 --> 00:14:34,141 Looks like to me 319 00:14:34,174 --> 00:14:37,477 You got too much grease In your steering column. 320 00:14:37,510 --> 00:14:39,079 I don't believe 321 00:14:39,112 --> 00:14:42,315 I've ever seen anything Like that before. 322 00:14:42,349 --> 00:14:43,683 [ soft hissing ] 323 00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:46,286 I hear a hissing sound, Too, barn. 324 00:14:46,319 --> 00:14:47,420 Listen. 325 00:14:47,454 --> 00:14:49,957 [ hissing continues ] 326 00:15:05,172 --> 00:15:07,174 Boy, she's Boiling but good. 327 00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:12,412 We're going to have To get some water, barn. 328 00:15:12,445 --> 00:15:14,447 Then we'd better Head back. 329 00:15:14,481 --> 00:15:17,284 Back, yeah. Head back. 330 00:15:17,317 --> 00:15:18,451 I'll fetch it. 331 00:15:18,485 --> 00:15:21,054 Everything will be fine. Just fine. 332 00:15:21,088 --> 00:15:22,422 Fine, just fine. 333 00:15:29,329 --> 00:15:31,264 It just run out Of water, barn. 334 00:15:31,298 --> 00:15:32,732 A little Extra grease... 335 00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:34,467 That don't Mean anything. 336 00:15:34,501 --> 00:15:38,405 [ thudding ] 337 00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:43,310 [ rhythmic clanking, whistling, Grating and thudding ] 338 00:16:16,509 --> 00:16:18,111 I'm sorry, barn. 339 00:16:18,145 --> 00:16:19,612 It's a shame. 340 00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:22,049 [ door opens ] Gomer: hey, andy! Hey, barn! 341 00:16:22,082 --> 00:16:23,150 Andy: Hey, gomer. 342 00:16:23,183 --> 00:16:24,684 Did wally check The car over? 343 00:16:24,717 --> 00:16:26,186 He went through her 344 00:16:26,219 --> 00:16:28,255 With as fine a tooth comb As you can imagine. 345 00:16:28,288 --> 00:16:29,689 All right, let's have The bad news. 346 00:16:29,722 --> 00:16:31,291 Well, he Got her running. 347 00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:32,759 I brought her Over here with me. 348 00:16:32,792 --> 00:16:34,427 But she's going to need... 349 00:16:34,461 --> 00:16:37,597 Plugs, points, bearings, Valves, rings, starter switch, 350 00:16:37,630 --> 00:16:40,333 Ignition wires, water pump, Fuel pump, oil pump, 351 00:16:40,367 --> 00:16:41,768 Clutch, clutch bearings, 352 00:16:41,801 --> 00:16:44,671 Clutch plates, brake lining, Brake shoes, brake drums, 353 00:16:44,704 --> 00:16:48,141 Radiator hose, and Radiator hose coupling. 354 00:16:48,175 --> 00:16:49,309 Oh, no. 355 00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:50,677 And I'd give her A good wash, too. 356 00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:53,413 Uh, gomer... 357 00:16:53,446 --> 00:16:54,581 Oh, here's Something else. 358 00:16:54,614 --> 00:16:57,384 See that? Sawdust. 359 00:16:57,417 --> 00:16:59,552 Come out of Your differential And transmission. 360 00:16:59,586 --> 00:17:00,687 That does it. 361 00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:02,422 Huh? 362 00:17:02,455 --> 00:17:05,725 Sawdust. That's the oldest car Hustler's trick in the world. 363 00:17:05,758 --> 00:17:09,462 Makes worn-out gears Run smooth as silk... 364 00:17:09,496 --> 00:17:11,364 For a few days. 365 00:17:11,398 --> 00:17:13,600 I can't believe it. 366 00:17:13,633 --> 00:17:15,502 That's all the evidence We'll need. 367 00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:16,703 Come on, barn. 368 00:17:16,736 --> 00:17:18,438 Let's take that Car right back 369 00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:20,607 To the little old Lady in mt. Pilot. 370 00:17:58,211 --> 00:18:01,581 I think she's About had it, barn. 371 00:18:01,614 --> 00:18:03,650 I better go find a phone And call gomer 372 00:18:03,683 --> 00:18:06,619 And tell him to come Out here and tow us in. 373 00:18:06,653 --> 00:18:09,656 There's a store back there About a half a mile. 374 00:18:09,689 --> 00:18:13,560 You be all right? 375 00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:15,462 It'll be getting dark Pretty soon. 376 00:18:15,495 --> 00:18:17,730 I sure hope He can find us. 377 00:18:48,395 --> 00:18:51,130 [ engine turns over ] 378 00:19:07,747 --> 00:19:09,249 Ange? 379 00:19:09,282 --> 00:19:10,583 Hmm? 380 00:19:10,617 --> 00:19:13,453 We're moving. 381 00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:14,587 Hmm? 382 00:19:14,621 --> 00:19:16,589 We're moving. 383 00:19:16,623 --> 00:19:17,957 Hmm. 384 00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:21,428 Hmm, I'll be dogged. 385 00:19:21,461 --> 00:19:24,631 Gomer must Have found us. 386 00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:27,700 I didn't even hear Him hook us up. 387 00:19:30,637 --> 00:19:34,274 Hmm. Wait a minute. 388 00:19:34,307 --> 00:19:36,976 That ain't gomer's Tow truck pulling us. 389 00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:38,878 Huh? 390 00:19:38,911 --> 00:19:41,314 That's somebody else. 391 00:19:41,348 --> 00:19:43,650 Well, who in the world... 392 00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:45,618 Hey, you up there! Hold it! 393 00:19:45,652 --> 00:19:47,320 Hey, wait a minute. 394 00:19:47,354 --> 00:19:48,555 Scrunch down. 395 00:19:48,588 --> 00:19:50,590 Let's see where They're taking us. 396 00:19:50,623 --> 00:19:53,226 Scrunch down. 397 00:20:21,488 --> 00:20:22,689 [ brakes squeak ] 398 00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:24,791 We stopped. 399 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:29,562 [ door shuts ] 400 00:20:29,596 --> 00:20:31,498 [ footsteps ] 401 00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:40,940 [ door shuts ] 402 00:20:46,446 --> 00:20:48,981 Can I put my bullet in? 403 00:20:49,015 --> 00:20:50,850 I think you better. 404 00:20:50,883 --> 00:20:52,885 Get down. 405 00:21:05,432 --> 00:21:07,033 Okay. 406 00:21:52,512 --> 00:21:54,747 That's mrs. Lesch! 407 00:21:54,781 --> 00:21:56,015 Yeah. 408 00:22:03,590 --> 00:22:05,692 It's the fourth one This week, myrt. 409 00:22:05,725 --> 00:22:07,560 The boys are doing A pretty good job. 410 00:22:07,594 --> 00:22:09,862 Well, let's have a look at this Little gem you brought in. 411 00:22:09,896 --> 00:22:12,098 Yeah, we'll run it through The usual routine. 412 00:22:12,131 --> 00:22:14,133 Spray it up a little. Knock out some of the dents. 413 00:22:14,166 --> 00:22:18,571 Hit the chrome... Ooh! What's with you? 414 00:22:18,605 --> 00:22:20,039 Don't you recognize it?! 415 00:22:20,072 --> 00:22:22,942 That's the clunker I sold To that boob in mayberry. 416 00:22:22,975 --> 00:22:25,077 All right, that's all! 417 00:22:25,111 --> 00:22:26,413 You've had it! 418 00:22:26,446 --> 00:22:27,547 Howdy. 419 00:22:27,580 --> 00:22:28,848 Mr. Fife! 420 00:22:28,881 --> 00:22:30,650 You didn't think You were fooling anybody, 421 00:22:30,683 --> 00:22:32,084 Did you, mrs. Lesch? 422 00:22:32,118 --> 00:22:35,388 Dear husband bernard. Never over 25 miles an hour. 423 00:22:35,422 --> 00:22:37,023 Come on now, really! 424 00:22:38,691 --> 00:22:42,529 All right, you've got us. 425 00:22:42,562 --> 00:22:43,996 Let me make a deal With you. 426 00:22:44,030 --> 00:22:45,665 You forget what happened, 427 00:22:45,698 --> 00:22:49,436 And I'll let you have A sweet 1958 custom sedan 428 00:22:49,469 --> 00:22:52,872 That's been in the garage Up on blocks since 1959. 429 00:22:52,905 --> 00:22:53,940 Low mileage? 430 00:22:53,973 --> 00:22:54,941 Broken in. 431 00:22:54,974 --> 00:22:56,543 With whitewall tires. 432 00:22:56,576 --> 00:22:57,877 That sounds like What I've been looking for! 433 00:22:57,910 --> 00:22:58,911 Barn! 434 00:22:58,945 --> 00:23:00,980 All right! Line up! 435 00:23:07,219 --> 00:23:09,789 [ typewriter keys clacking ] 436 00:23:09,822 --> 00:23:10,890 [ door closes ] 437 00:23:10,923 --> 00:23:13,426 Hi, barn. What you doing? 438 00:23:13,460 --> 00:23:14,894 Well, now that I got my money back, 439 00:23:14,927 --> 00:23:16,563 I'm gonna be A little more careful. 440 00:23:16,596 --> 00:23:18,965 [ chuckles ] You didn't answer Another car ad. 441 00:23:18,998 --> 00:23:21,734 Party's on its way over, But don't you worry, pal. 442 00:23:21,768 --> 00:23:24,070 I learned my lesson -- Trust nobody. 443 00:23:24,103 --> 00:23:25,838 You don't have to go That far. 444 00:23:25,872 --> 00:23:28,775 I'm gonna go over this car With a fine-tooth comb. 445 00:23:28,808 --> 00:23:31,611 You can fool barney fife once, Maybe -- just once, 446 00:23:31,644 --> 00:23:32,612 But never again. 447 00:23:32,645 --> 00:23:33,613 Well... 448 00:23:33,646 --> 00:23:34,981 [ door opens ] 449 00:23:37,550 --> 00:23:39,018 [ door closes ] 450 00:23:39,051 --> 00:23:42,655 Excuse me. I'm looking for mr. Fife. 451 00:23:42,689 --> 00:23:43,756 I'm mr. Fife. 452 00:23:43,790 --> 00:23:45,758 I'm mrs. Temple. 453 00:23:45,792 --> 00:23:47,794 I'm here with my car, Mr. Fife. 454 00:23:47,827 --> 00:23:49,596 Are you still interested? 455 00:23:52,699 --> 00:23:55,101 Well, maybe I am, And maybe I ain't. 456 00:23:55,134 --> 00:23:56,703 What kind of a car is it? 457 00:23:56,736 --> 00:24:01,508 1959 ford -- It's in excellent condition. 458 00:24:01,541 --> 00:24:03,009 Low mileage, of course. 459 00:24:03,042 --> 00:24:04,243 Oh, yes. 460 00:24:04,276 --> 00:24:06,112 Uh-huh. 461 00:24:06,145 --> 00:24:08,748 And you only used it to drive To church on sundays, right? 462 00:24:08,781 --> 00:24:12,585 Why, as a matter of fact, I did. 463 00:24:12,619 --> 00:24:15,688 See, I have a nephew Who's a clergyman at -- 464 00:24:15,722 --> 00:24:17,524 Who are you kidding, Sister? 465 00:24:17,557 --> 00:24:20,226 I beg your pardon? 466 00:24:20,259 --> 00:24:22,094 Barn. Who you working with -- 467 00:24:22,128 --> 00:24:23,663 Hubcap slash Or you got your own racket? 468 00:24:23,696 --> 00:24:25,097 Barney. 469 00:24:25,131 --> 00:24:26,833 Oh, I can see through her Like a lace curtain. 470 00:24:26,866 --> 00:24:29,769 All right, out, out, out, out, Before I throw you in. 471 00:24:29,802 --> 00:24:32,238 Well, have you found a buyer For the car, aunt rose? 472 00:24:32,271 --> 00:24:34,574 Andy: uh. [ clears throat ] 473 00:24:34,607 --> 00:24:36,142 He'd like to think about it, Reverend. 474 00:24:36,175 --> 00:24:37,176 Wouldn't you, barn? 475 00:24:46,152 --> 00:24:49,488 [ whistling sprightly tune ] 32378

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