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1
00:00:02,005 --> 00:00:05,379
[ whistling sprightly tune ]
2
00:00:09,786 --> 00:00:13,194
Starring andy griffith...
3
00:00:13,227 --> 00:00:15,464
With ronny howard...
4
00:00:15,499 --> 00:00:18,504
Also starring don knotts.
5
00:01:12,946 --> 00:01:15,584
Oh, uh... Aunt bee.
6
00:01:17,456 --> 00:01:19,926
Hello, barney.
7
00:01:19,960 --> 00:01:22,466
Do you mind if I just sit down
For a minute?
8
00:01:22,498 --> 00:01:25,739
Why, aunt bee,
Ain't you feeling good?
9
00:01:25,772 --> 00:01:29,579
Here, you just
Set yourself
Right down here.
10
00:01:29,612 --> 00:01:31,351
Thank you, barney.
11
00:01:31,383 --> 00:01:33,620
I... I just feel
A little faint.
12
00:01:33,654 --> 00:01:35,892
Faint? Now...
Now, don't do that.
13
00:01:35,924 --> 00:01:38,630
Uh, uh, I'll get you
A glass of water.
14
00:01:38,664 --> 00:01:41,436
I'll... Maybe I'll...
Maybe we better...
15
00:01:41,471 --> 00:01:42,938
Better loosen something.
16
00:01:42,973 --> 00:01:45,379
You got something
We can loosen?
17
00:01:45,412 --> 00:01:47,948
Oh, wait, here,
Let's get your feet up.
18
00:01:47,983 --> 00:01:49,353
Barney, please!
19
00:01:49,387 --> 00:01:51,556
Listen, we'll just
Rub your wrists here.
20
00:01:51,590 --> 00:01:52,893
What for?
21
00:01:52,926 --> 00:01:54,529
I don't know.
They always do that.
22
00:01:54,562 --> 00:01:55,664
Please, barney.
23
00:01:55,698 --> 00:01:57,033
You're gonna be fine.
24
00:01:57,066 --> 00:01:59,373
Aunt bee,
W-what's the matter?
25
00:01:59,407 --> 00:02:01,944
Oh, aunt bee's just
Sick as she can be.
26
00:02:01,977 --> 00:02:03,615
W-w-well, what's wrong?
27
00:02:03,647 --> 00:02:05,319
I'll be all right, andy.
28
00:02:05,351 --> 00:02:08,457
I've just... I've just
Had a shock, that's all.
29
00:02:08,491 --> 00:02:09,959
W-w-well, what happened?
30
00:02:09,993 --> 00:02:12,465
Did you hear
About augusta finch?
31
00:02:12,499 --> 00:02:14,837
No. What happened to her?
32
00:02:14,869 --> 00:02:19,580
She passed away...
At 10:30 this morning.
33
00:02:19,612 --> 00:02:21,384
Oh, I'm sorry.
34
00:02:21,416 --> 00:02:25,624
It was a blow,
A terrible blow.
35
00:02:25,659 --> 00:02:26,894
Well, aunt bee,
36
00:02:26,926 --> 00:02:29,400
You and miss finch
Never was that close
37
00:02:29,432 --> 00:02:30,869
For you to carry on
Like this.
38
00:02:30,902 --> 00:02:31,936
Close?
39
00:02:31,971 --> 00:02:34,008
She was exactly my age.
40
00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:35,711
Well, just 'cause
41
00:02:35,744 --> 00:02:37,883
She was your age
Don't mean anything.
42
00:02:37,916 --> 00:02:39,953
Augusta always enjoyed
Poor health
43
00:02:39,987 --> 00:02:41,491
As long as I can remember,
44
00:02:41,524 --> 00:02:43,428
But you've always
Been healthy.
45
00:02:43,461 --> 00:02:45,129
Oh, I may not
Complain, maybe...
46
00:02:45,162 --> 00:02:46,967
Well, we all have
To go sometime.
47
00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:48,371
[ clears throat ]
48
00:02:48,405 --> 00:02:50,641
Uh, aunt bee,
If you're not feeling good
49
00:02:50,674 --> 00:02:52,913
Why don't you go see
Doc andrews?
50
00:02:52,946 --> 00:02:55,818
Oh, doc andrews,
A lot he can do.
51
00:02:55,852 --> 00:02:57,822
A lot he did for gussie.
52
00:02:57,856 --> 00:03:00,127
Well, he's always
Taken good care of us.
53
00:03:00,159 --> 00:03:01,797
Let me just give him
A ring.
54
00:03:01,831 --> 00:03:02,866
Don't you dare!
55
00:03:02,898 --> 00:03:04,068
I know what he'll tell me
56
00:03:04,101 --> 00:03:05,604
And I don't want to hear it.
57
00:03:05,639 --> 00:03:07,876
He tells me the same thing
Every time I see him.
58
00:03:07,909 --> 00:03:10,079
What's that?
59
00:03:10,113 --> 00:03:12,083
"We're no spring chickens
Anymore."
60
00:03:12,117 --> 00:03:13,721
Well, maybe he isn't.
61
00:03:13,755 --> 00:03:16,125
I'm not going to pay
Doc andrews five dollars
62
00:03:16,158 --> 00:03:17,963
Just to tell me
How old I am.
63
00:03:17,996 --> 00:03:20,601
And I'm not that old.
64
00:03:20,635 --> 00:03:23,006
No, you're not, but if
You're not feeling good...
65
00:03:23,038 --> 00:03:25,143
I feel fine!
66
00:03:26,178 --> 00:03:27,983
And don't be late
For supper.
67
00:03:33,193 --> 00:03:35,030
Aunt bee! Aunt bee!
68
00:03:35,063 --> 00:03:37,603
Aunt bee!
69
00:03:37,636 --> 00:03:38,571
Aunt bee!
70
00:03:38,605 --> 00:03:39,640
Opie, I always told you
71
00:03:39,672 --> 00:03:40,942
To go straight
Home from school.
72
00:03:40,975 --> 00:03:42,111
Come and see, aunt bee.
73
00:03:42,144 --> 00:03:43,680
He's telling
All about the indians.
74
00:03:43,715 --> 00:03:44,950
Who?
Him.
75
00:03:44,983 --> 00:03:47,656
My friends, that is
An excellent question...
76
00:03:47,688 --> 00:03:49,560
He got kidnapped
By the indians.
77
00:03:49,593 --> 00:03:51,194
He got adopted
By their chief.
78
00:03:51,229 --> 00:03:53,700
He lived with them,
Aunt bee, real indians.
79
00:03:53,735 --> 00:03:55,505
He learned
All their secrets.
80
00:03:55,539 --> 00:03:56,574
Come on and listen.
81
00:03:56,607 --> 00:03:59,246
He's roped wild ponies!
82
00:03:59,278 --> 00:04:01,683
Mark it well, my friends.
83
00:04:01,717 --> 00:04:06,660
Colonel harvey's indian elixir--
Good for what ails you.
84
00:04:06,694 --> 00:04:10,000
Are you feeling tired
And rundown?
85
00:04:10,032 --> 00:04:12,938
Do you drag yourself
Out of bed in the morning?
86
00:04:12,973 --> 00:04:15,243
Does life seem
Hardly worth living?
87
00:04:15,277 --> 00:04:17,848
Then, friends,
Give me your attention.
88
00:04:17,883 --> 00:04:20,120
Aw, heck, it's just
Another commercial.
89
00:04:20,152 --> 00:04:21,255
Come on, aunt bee.
90
00:04:21,289 --> 00:04:23,293
You run on
Along home, opie.
91
00:04:23,327 --> 00:04:24,697
I want to listen.
92
00:04:24,729 --> 00:04:25,699
Okay.
93
00:04:25,731 --> 00:04:27,267
My mission in life
Is health
94
00:04:27,301 --> 00:04:31,644
Is zest, is vigor,
Is the joy of living.
95
00:04:31,676 --> 00:04:34,717
Now, what I offer you,
My friends, is no medicine.
96
00:04:34,750 --> 00:04:36,185
It is far more than that.
97
00:04:36,219 --> 00:04:38,089
It is a tonic, an elixir
98
00:04:38,123 --> 00:04:41,162
To purge the body
And lift the spirits
99
00:04:41,195 --> 00:04:44,336
To put a light in the eye
And a spring in the step
100
00:04:44,368 --> 00:04:49,713
A lilt in the voice
And hope in the human heart.
101
00:04:49,747 --> 00:04:52,619
Breathes there a man
With soul so dead
102
00:04:52,653 --> 00:04:54,822
He can say he is not interested?
103
00:04:54,857 --> 00:04:56,960
At only one dollar a bottle?
104
00:04:56,993 --> 00:04:59,398
[ murmuring ]
Please, friends, I know
105
00:04:59,431 --> 00:05:00,601
The price is ridiculous.
106
00:05:00,601 --> 00:05:02,136
It only helps defray the cost.
107
00:05:02,171 --> 00:05:04,208
While the supply lasts,
Do I hear a voice?
108
00:05:04,241 --> 00:05:06,814
I'll take two.
109
00:05:06,846 --> 00:05:09,886
Ah, there speaks someone
In whom the spark is not dead.
110
00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:10,922
Are there others?
111
00:05:10,955 --> 00:05:12,156
Step forward, please.
112
00:05:12,191 --> 00:05:14,060
Woman:
I'll take one.
113
00:05:14,095 --> 00:05:15,330
One for the lady.
114
00:05:15,364 --> 00:05:17,835
One for you,
And one for you.
115
00:05:17,869 --> 00:05:18,938
And you...
116
00:05:30,861 --> 00:05:32,833
Colonel harvey?
117
00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:35,872
I'd like to tell you
118
00:05:35,904 --> 00:05:38,142
How much I admire
The work you're doing.
119
00:05:38,176 --> 00:05:40,882
Ah... Thank you,
Dear lady.
120
00:05:40,914 --> 00:05:43,186
Are you planning
To stay long in mayberry?
121
00:05:43,219 --> 00:05:44,757
Would that I might.
122
00:05:44,790 --> 00:05:47,126
Seldom in all my travels
123
00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:50,468
Have I come upon
So charming a town
124
00:05:50,500 --> 00:05:52,938
With so many fine people,
125
00:05:52,973 --> 00:05:57,247
Not least among them
Your own charming self.
126
00:05:58,316 --> 00:06:01,756
Colonel, when's the last time
You had a home-cooked meal?
127
00:06:01,790 --> 00:06:05,097
Oh, no. Why...
128
00:06:05,130 --> 00:06:08,403
I read your thoughts.
129
00:06:08,437 --> 00:06:11,910
They shine from your eyes,
Like the goodness within.
130
00:06:11,943 --> 00:06:14,882
We'd be very happy
To have you for supper.
131
00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:16,152
You're most kind.
132
00:06:16,184 --> 00:06:18,557
Who could resist the opportunity
133
00:06:18,589 --> 00:06:21,194
Of making
Your better acquaintance?
134
00:06:21,228 --> 00:06:22,397
Oh, good.
135
00:06:22,432 --> 00:06:24,436
Shall we say 6:00?
136
00:06:24,468 --> 00:06:25,805
6:00.
137
00:06:25,839 --> 00:06:28,376
What time
Do the indians eat?
138
00:06:28,409 --> 00:06:30,547
Indians?
139
00:06:30,581 --> 00:06:36,927
Oh, well, they eat most anytime,
Uh, 6:35, 7:00, 7:15...
140
00:06:36,961 --> 00:06:39,365
Good. Well,
We'll say 6:00?
141
00:06:39,398 --> 00:06:41,535
I shall count the hours.
142
00:06:44,008 --> 00:06:48,817
The address is
332 maple road.
143
00:07:01,910 --> 00:07:05,417
It is a tonic, an elixir,
To purge the body...
144
00:07:05,450 --> 00:07:07,221
Hey, wait a minute--
What's that?
145
00:07:07,254 --> 00:07:10,427
...To put a light in the eye
And a spring in the step.
146
00:07:10,460 --> 00:07:12,464
Looks like a sideshow.
147
00:07:12,497 --> 00:07:13,499
Yeah.
148
00:07:13,533 --> 00:07:16,339
Park it,
And let's take a look.
149
00:07:16,372 --> 00:07:21,314
My mission in life is health,
Is zest, is vigor,
150
00:07:21,348 --> 00:07:23,620
Is the joy of living.
151
00:07:23,653 --> 00:07:26,525
What I offer you
Is no medicine.
152
00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:28,630
It is far more than that.
153
00:07:28,663 --> 00:07:32,472
It is a tonic, an elixir,
To purge the body.
154
00:07:32,505 --> 00:07:34,374
Are you overweight?
155
00:07:34,408 --> 00:07:35,611
Do you worry too much?
156
00:07:35,643 --> 00:07:38,215
Worry about money?
Worry about the future?
157
00:07:38,248 --> 00:07:41,154
Well, then, friends,
Let me ask you one thing...
158
00:07:41,189 --> 00:07:45,130
Have you every seen
A fat, old, worried indian?
159
00:07:45,162 --> 00:07:48,736
Have you ever known
An indian with ulcers?
160
00:07:48,769 --> 00:07:51,643
I ain't ever known
An indian, have you?
161
00:07:51,675 --> 00:07:53,213
No.
162
00:07:53,245 --> 00:07:56,119
...Because the indian's way
Is nature's way.
163
00:07:56,152 --> 00:07:58,490
Nature's way
Is colonel harvey's way.
164
00:07:58,524 --> 00:08:02,197
Colonel harvey's indian elixir--
Good for what ails you.
165
00:08:02,230 --> 00:08:05,671
Uh, colonel, could I
Ask you a question?
166
00:08:05,703 --> 00:08:06,740
By all means.
167
00:08:06,772 --> 00:08:08,343
Come closer, friend.
168
00:08:09,678 --> 00:08:11,014
Have you got a license
169
00:08:11,049 --> 00:08:13,118
That allows you
To sell on the street?
170
00:08:13,152 --> 00:08:14,556
Indeed I have, sheriff.
171
00:08:14,588 --> 00:08:17,161
Duly applied for and received
From your county clerk.
172
00:08:17,193 --> 00:08:20,100
You got a license
That allows you
To sell medicine?
173
00:08:20,132 --> 00:08:23,106
No, sheriff, my elixir is
No drug, no so-called medicine.
174
00:08:23,138 --> 00:08:25,077
Examine the label.
175
00:08:25,110 --> 00:08:27,781
You will find no claim
Which cannot be substantiated.
176
00:08:27,815 --> 00:08:29,519
You will not see it advertised.
177
00:08:29,552 --> 00:08:31,089
It is not sold in drugstores,
178
00:08:31,122 --> 00:08:33,358
Nor through the mail
As an interstate commerce.
179
00:08:33,392 --> 00:08:35,564
Here you are, sheriff.
May I offer you this bottle
180
00:08:35,598 --> 00:08:36,733
With my compliments?
181
00:08:36,765 --> 00:08:37,834
No, you keep that.
182
00:08:37,867 --> 00:08:39,238
No, please test it.
183
00:08:39,270 --> 00:08:41,474
See if it doesn't
Make you feel better.
184
00:08:41,508 --> 00:08:43,179
I feel fine.
185
00:08:43,213 --> 00:08:45,282
Let's go, barney.
186
00:08:45,317 --> 00:08:50,459
"None so blind
As those who will not see."
187
00:08:50,492 --> 00:08:53,799
Mark it well, my friends,
Colonel harvey...
188
00:08:53,834 --> 00:08:55,571
Whatcha think?
189
00:08:55,604 --> 00:08:59,545
Well, we can't hold
Him on a 6-0-3.
190
00:08:59,579 --> 00:09:00,547
No.
191
00:09:00,581 --> 00:09:03,453
Or even a 1-1-5.
192
00:09:03,485 --> 00:09:05,624
What's a 1-1-5?
193
00:09:05,658 --> 00:09:07,894
Parking next
To a hydrant.
194
00:09:07,928 --> 00:09:10,500
Oh.
195
00:09:10,532 --> 00:09:13,205
Well, let's go.
196
00:09:13,238 --> 00:09:16,179
...Is health, is zest,
Is vigor, is...
197
00:09:16,211 --> 00:09:19,585
* toot, toot, tootsie,
Good-bye *
198
00:09:19,619 --> 00:09:22,858
* toot, toot, tootsie,
Don't cry... *
199
00:09:22,891 --> 00:09:25,731
Come on, opie, and sing.
200
00:09:25,763 --> 00:09:29,337
* toot, toot, tootsie,
Good-bye *
201
00:09:29,371 --> 00:09:33,413
* toot, toot, tootsie,
Don't cry *
202
00:09:33,445 --> 00:09:37,453
* the choo-choo train
That takes me *
203
00:09:37,486 --> 00:09:41,629
* away from you, no words
Can tell how sad it makes me *
204
00:09:41,663 --> 00:09:44,968
* kiss me, tootsie, and then
205
00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:49,278
* do it over again
206
00:09:49,311 --> 00:09:53,485
* look for the mail,
I'll never fail *
207
00:09:53,518 --> 00:09:59,465
* if you don't get a letter,
Then you'll know I'm in jail *
208
00:09:59,497 --> 00:10:02,905
* toot, toot, tootsie,
Good-bye *
209
00:10:02,938 --> 00:10:06,780
* toot, toot, tootsie,
Good-bye *
210
00:10:06,812 --> 00:10:07,814
Whee!
211
00:10:07,848 --> 00:10:10,319
Oh, hello, andy.
212
00:10:10,352 --> 00:10:12,256
Aunt bee.
213
00:10:12,291 --> 00:10:13,526
Yeah, w...
214
00:10:13,559 --> 00:10:17,601
Ooh, I must have made
Myself a little dizzy.
215
00:10:17,634 --> 00:10:18,837
My, my.
216
00:10:18,869 --> 00:10:21,342
I ain't heard you play
That piano in years.
217
00:10:21,374 --> 00:10:24,380
Well, I thought
I'd forgotten how.
218
00:10:24,415 --> 00:10:26,952
Well, you were sure
Playing the daylights
219
00:10:26,986 --> 00:10:28,323
Out of it then.
220
00:10:30,025 --> 00:10:32,998
Uh, you, uh,
Feelin' all right?
221
00:10:33,031 --> 00:10:35,502
Oh, I never felt better.
222
00:10:35,537 --> 00:10:36,840
Well, what'd you do?
223
00:10:36,873 --> 00:10:39,411
Break down and
Go see doc andrews?
224
00:10:39,445 --> 00:10:40,747
Ooh-hoo, doc andrews.
225
00:10:40,781 --> 00:10:43,486
I found something
Much better than that.
226
00:10:43,518 --> 00:10:45,824
Oh, my goodness,
What time is it?
227
00:10:45,858 --> 00:10:47,828
Uh, aunt bee...
228
00:10:47,862 --> 00:10:49,966
Oh, now, don't start
Asking me questions.
229
00:10:49,999 --> 00:10:51,735
I have s-supper
In the oven.
230
00:10:51,769 --> 00:10:53,638
We have a-a
Guest coming.
231
00:10:53,673 --> 00:10:55,343
A guest?
232
00:10:55,377 --> 00:10:58,950
Opie, would you get
My apron from the
Kitchen, please?
233
00:10:58,984 --> 00:11:00,118
No, never mind.
234
00:11:00,151 --> 00:11:02,590
I'm going that
Way anyway.
235
00:11:04,126 --> 00:11:07,566
Oh, barney...
236
00:11:07,601 --> 00:11:09,871
Where did you come from?
237
00:11:09,906 --> 00:11:11,875
Well, I've been right here,
Aunt bee...
238
00:11:11,910 --> 00:11:14,147
Oh, andy, why
Didn't you tell me?
239
00:11:14,180 --> 00:11:16,686
Oh, h-he ain't stayin'.
He's just droppin' me off.
240
00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:18,857
Oh, well, it was very
Nice to see you, barney.
241
00:11:18,890 --> 00:11:21,028
Don't be such
A stranger.
242
00:11:21,060 --> 00:11:24,133
[ humming ]
Stranger?
243
00:11:24,167 --> 00:11:26,906
Aunt bee sure is
Feeling good, huh, paw?
244
00:11:26,940 --> 00:11:28,642
She sure is.
245
00:11:28,676 --> 00:11:30,847
[ glass shatters ]
246
00:11:30,881 --> 00:11:33,185
Uh, opie, you want to go
Out in the kitchen
247
00:11:33,217 --> 00:11:35,423
And see what happened?
248
00:11:38,095 --> 00:11:40,166
What happened,
Aunt bee?
249
00:11:40,198 --> 00:11:42,871
Mm, oh, nothing,
Child, nothing.
250
00:11:42,905 --> 00:11:45,777
I'll just sweep it up later.
251
00:11:45,810 --> 00:11:47,046
[ clears throat ]
252
00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:49,952
Uh, andy, I don't like
To say this, but...
253
00:11:49,986 --> 00:11:51,489
You don't have to.
254
00:11:51,522 --> 00:11:54,795
If it was anybody else,
I'd say she was tiddly.
255
00:11:54,828 --> 00:11:57,467
If it was anybody else,
You'd be right,
256
00:11:57,501 --> 00:11:59,571
But she won't even
Allow fruitcake
257
00:11:59,605 --> 00:12:00,941
In the house...
258
00:12:00,974 --> 00:12:02,643
Account of a
Brother she had.
259
00:12:02,677 --> 00:12:04,113
Yeah?
Mm-hmm.
260
00:12:04,147 --> 00:12:06,551
Well, where there's smoke,
There's firewater.
261
00:12:06,585 --> 00:12:08,990
I'd better get going.
262
00:12:09,024 --> 00:12:10,794
What'd I come in here for?
263
00:12:10,828 --> 00:12:12,932
Oh, your raincoat
In the closet.
264
00:12:12,965 --> 00:12:14,034
Oh, yeah.
265
00:12:18,943 --> 00:12:21,081
Andy?
266
00:12:21,113 --> 00:12:24,154
Maybe this'll explain
Why aunt bee's feeling so good.
267
00:12:30,198 --> 00:12:33,606
Sure looks like she
Took the adult dose.
268
00:12:33,639 --> 00:12:35,877
Hey, listen, tell you
What I want you to do--
269
00:12:35,910 --> 00:12:37,814
Run this over
To doc andrews
270
00:12:37,847 --> 00:12:38,916
And have him analyze it.
271
00:12:38,949 --> 00:12:40,553
Right.
Good.
272
00:12:40,587 --> 00:12:43,926
Aunt bee: * toot, toot, tootsie,
Good-bye *
273
00:12:43,959 --> 00:12:46,131
* toot, toot, tootsie,
Don't cry *
274
00:12:49,237 --> 00:12:52,911
[ humming ]
275
00:12:59,891 --> 00:13:01,261
Well, aunt bee,
276
00:13:01,293 --> 00:13:03,699
Tell me
About your afternoon.
277
00:13:03,732 --> 00:13:05,938
Oh, andy,
278
00:13:05,971 --> 00:13:10,647
I had one of the most
Extraordinary experiences
279
00:13:10,679 --> 00:13:11,714
Of my life.
280
00:13:11,748 --> 00:13:12,952
Well, tell me about it.
281
00:13:12,985 --> 00:13:17,627
Nothing happened to me
Like that since...
282
00:13:17,661 --> 00:13:19,931
Since I was baptized.
283
00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:23,338
Oh, this man, he has such power.
284
00:13:23,371 --> 00:13:24,941
What man?
285
00:13:24,976 --> 00:13:26,812
Well, you'll meet him.
286
00:13:26,846 --> 00:13:28,716
He's coming to supper.
287
00:13:28,748 --> 00:13:32,389
You know, just listening to him,
I felt better.
288
00:13:32,423 --> 00:13:36,799
And afterwards, when I
Actually talked with him...
289
00:13:38,869 --> 00:13:40,206
[ doorbell buzzes ]
290
00:13:40,239 --> 00:13:41,910
Oh! Good heavens!
291
00:13:41,942 --> 00:13:44,815
That's him... That's him.
292
00:13:46,017 --> 00:13:47,286
I'll get it.
293
00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:48,322
Opie!
294
00:13:50,159 --> 00:13:52,731
I'll get it.
295
00:13:52,764 --> 00:13:55,001
Andy...
296
00:13:55,035 --> 00:13:58,675
I'll get it.
297
00:14:04,020 --> 00:14:04,988
Well...
298
00:14:05,022 --> 00:14:06,893
Good evening, dear lady.
299
00:14:10,900 --> 00:14:12,469
Well, we meet again.
300
00:14:12,503 --> 00:14:15,308
Oh, do you two
Know each other?
301
00:14:15,341 --> 00:14:18,082
You might say
We know each other.
302
00:14:18,114 --> 00:14:19,952
Well, it is
A small world.
303
00:14:19,985 --> 00:14:22,055
Well, andy, just
Don't stand there.
304
00:14:22,090 --> 00:14:23,357
Take the colonel's hat.
305
00:14:23,392 --> 00:14:26,398
And I made
You the most...
306
00:14:30,974 --> 00:14:32,276
Oh, my...
307
00:14:32,310 --> 00:14:35,282
Miss bee, I have dined
In the finest restaurants
308
00:14:35,316 --> 00:14:36,550
In new orleans,
309
00:14:36,583 --> 00:14:39,556
But never
Have I tasted
Food like that.
310
00:14:39,589 --> 00:14:41,328
[ laughing ]
Oh...
311
00:14:41,361 --> 00:14:43,564
Well, colonel...
Oh, colonel,
312
00:14:43,597 --> 00:14:45,870
Now, how can
You say that?
313
00:14:45,904 --> 00:14:47,540
It was only just potluck,
You know.
314
00:14:47,572 --> 00:14:50,511
Tush, my dear lady,
Tush.
315
00:14:50,546 --> 00:14:52,817
There is potluck
And there is potluck.
316
00:14:52,851 --> 00:14:54,387
It's not only
The ingredients,
317
00:14:54,420 --> 00:14:56,825
It's the magic
With which it's prepared,
318
00:14:56,859 --> 00:14:58,027
And you, my dear lady
319
00:14:58,062 --> 00:14:59,297
Have the magical touch.
320
00:14:59,330 --> 00:15:00,299
My compliments.
321
00:15:00,332 --> 00:15:01,801
Well, thank you,
Colonel.
322
00:15:01,801 --> 00:15:04,106
Can you make smoke
Come out of your ears?
323
00:15:04,140 --> 00:15:05,608
No, my boy, that I cannot do.
324
00:15:05,642 --> 00:15:07,245
But I can do something else.
325
00:15:07,279 --> 00:15:09,616
Have you ever seen
Indian smoke signals?
326
00:15:09,650 --> 00:15:11,388
Then I shall
Show you.
327
00:15:34,233 --> 00:15:36,471
You know what that means?
328
00:15:37,942 --> 00:15:39,946
The cavalry is coming.
329
00:15:39,979 --> 00:15:42,083
Send another message, colonel.
330
00:15:42,115 --> 00:15:43,152
Oh, opie...
331
00:15:43,184 --> 00:15:44,587
You'll have to forgive
The child.
332
00:15:44,619 --> 00:15:46,391
He's simply
Captivated by you
333
00:15:46,424 --> 00:15:47,593
And I can't blame him.
334
00:15:47,625 --> 00:15:49,363
Opie, say good night
To the colonel
335
00:15:49,397 --> 00:15:51,401
And run on up
And do your homework.
336
00:15:51,434 --> 00:15:52,603
But I haven't got any.
337
00:15:52,635 --> 00:15:54,074
Now, don't tell me that.
338
00:15:54,107 --> 00:15:55,076
I want to stay.
339
00:15:55,109 --> 00:15:56,411
You got your
Orders, son.
340
00:15:56,444 --> 00:15:57,413
Okay, paw.
341
00:15:57,446 --> 00:15:58,415
Good night, aunt bee.
342
00:15:58,448 --> 00:15:59,417
Good night, opie.
343
00:15:59,450 --> 00:16:00,419
Good night, paw.
344
00:16:00,452 --> 00:16:01,421
Good night, colonel.
345
00:16:01,454 --> 00:16:02,991
Just a minute, boy.
346
00:16:09,536 --> 00:16:12,010
You know
What that means?
347
00:16:12,042 --> 00:16:16,583
Neku ya-te-eh sho-chu-neh.
348
00:16:16,617 --> 00:16:19,389
Wow.
349
00:16:19,423 --> 00:16:22,729
Oh, colonel,
That's simply wonderful.
350
00:16:24,099 --> 00:16:27,672
Shawnee-- I lived among 'em...
351
00:16:27,706 --> 00:16:30,046
They're devils.
352
00:16:32,216 --> 00:16:33,552
Andy, why don't you
Entertain the colonel
353
00:16:33,585 --> 00:16:36,124
While I get
Some coffee.
354
00:16:36,158 --> 00:16:37,193
Pardon me.
355
00:16:37,225 --> 00:16:38,361
Dear lady.
356
00:16:39,630 --> 00:16:43,505
[ groans ]
357
00:16:45,209 --> 00:16:48,247
Well, colonel...
358
00:16:48,282 --> 00:16:52,190
How long, uh...
359
00:16:52,223 --> 00:16:55,129
How long you figurin' on
Stayin' in these parts?
360
00:16:55,162 --> 00:16:58,668
Sheriff, my travels
Have taken me
361
00:16:58,702 --> 00:17:00,572
To many villages
And hamlets
362
00:17:00,606 --> 00:17:02,042
In this great land
Of ours,
363
00:17:02,042 --> 00:17:08,622
But never have I met such warm,
Wonderful, gracious people
364
00:17:08,654 --> 00:17:10,758
As you have in this town.
365
00:17:10,792 --> 00:17:13,365
Yeah. Let me ask you...
366
00:17:13,398 --> 00:17:16,270
I wish that
I could say
367
00:17:16,304 --> 00:17:18,541
That my permanent
Address
368
00:17:18,575 --> 00:17:20,345
Is mayberry, u.S.A.
369
00:17:20,379 --> 00:17:21,347
Good.
370
00:17:21,381 --> 00:17:22,616
Now, let me ask you...
371
00:17:22,650 --> 00:17:24,120
But alas,
372
00:17:24,154 --> 00:17:28,227
My mission calls me
To ever far distant lands.
373
00:17:28,262 --> 00:17:31,500
Yeah, I guess
There is a great need.
374
00:17:31,533 --> 00:17:34,539
Oh, sheriff...
375
00:17:34,573 --> 00:17:36,910
If you only knew.
376
00:17:36,943 --> 00:17:40,485
If you only knew.
377
00:17:42,690 --> 00:17:43,825
Let me ask you...
378
00:17:43,857 --> 00:17:44,894
Aunt bee:
Here we are.
379
00:17:44,926 --> 00:17:46,863
Let me help you,
Dear lady.
380
00:17:46,898 --> 00:17:48,434
Thank you, colonel.
381
00:17:48,467 --> 00:17:50,706
Colonel, I just had
The most wonderful idea.
382
00:17:50,739 --> 00:17:52,810
How would you like
To address a meeting
383
00:17:52,843 --> 00:17:54,714
Of my ladies aid
Church committee?
384
00:17:54,747 --> 00:17:56,918
We can meet right here
Tomorrow afternoon.
385
00:17:56,950 --> 00:17:58,587
There, you see?
386
00:17:58,621 --> 00:18:01,861
I never know when I shall
Be called upon to serve.
387
00:18:01,893 --> 00:18:03,532
I would deem it
A privilege.
388
00:18:09,643 --> 00:18:11,914
Here's your evidence--
Exhibit "A".
389
00:18:11,947 --> 00:18:14,754
85% alcohol?
390
00:18:14,786 --> 00:18:17,225
Phew! No wonder
She was feeling no pain.
391
00:18:17,260 --> 00:18:19,764
There's your grounds--
Selling plain liquor.
392
00:18:19,797 --> 00:18:21,333
Let's run him out of town.
393
00:18:21,368 --> 00:18:22,835
No. It ain't that simple.
394
00:18:22,870 --> 00:18:25,841
But, andy,
The guy's a grade "A",
Double-barreled phony.
395
00:18:25,876 --> 00:18:27,880
I know, but aunt bee
Believes in him.
396
00:18:27,912 --> 00:18:29,817
If I run him
Out of town like this,
397
00:18:29,849 --> 00:18:31,019
She'll never forgive me.
398
00:18:31,051 --> 00:18:32,790
We'll have to prove it
To her.
399
00:18:32,823 --> 00:18:34,593
But while we're
Stalling around here,
400
00:18:34,626 --> 00:18:36,028
He could be
Giving us the slip.
401
00:18:36,061 --> 00:18:37,699
Well, he ain't
Leaving right now.
402
00:18:37,733 --> 00:18:39,404
He's over at the house
403
00:18:39,437 --> 00:18:42,975
Addressin' the ladies aid
Church committee right now.
404
00:18:43,010 --> 00:18:45,816
Oh, it's gonna be
A red-letter day
In mayberry
405
00:18:45,849 --> 00:18:49,589
If the whole ladies
Aid church committee
Gets crocked.
406
00:18:52,662 --> 00:18:55,601
Hey, barn, you may just
Have something there.
407
00:18:55,635 --> 00:18:56,971
Huh?
408
00:18:57,003 --> 00:19:01,011
Women:
* when the lights are low...
409
00:19:01,046 --> 00:19:03,585
[ indistinct singing ]
410
00:19:10,599 --> 00:19:14,839
[ raucous laughter ]
411
00:19:18,947 --> 00:19:22,490
All:
* chinatown, my chinatown
412
00:19:22,522 --> 00:19:24,091
Ladies! Ladies!
413
00:19:24,125 --> 00:19:27,833
* where the lights are low
414
00:19:27,866 --> 00:19:31,773
* hearts that know
No other land *
415
00:19:31,807 --> 00:19:34,078
* drifting to and fro...
416
00:19:34,111 --> 00:19:35,949
Ladies. Ladies.
417
00:19:35,982 --> 00:19:39,087
Ho-ho-hold it,
Hold it, ladies.
418
00:19:39,122 --> 00:19:41,059
Hold it!
419
00:19:41,091 --> 00:19:42,863
[ giggling ]
Oh...
420
00:19:42,896 --> 00:19:44,699
Girls, look who's here--
421
00:19:44,733 --> 00:19:46,168
Sheriff matt dillon.
422
00:19:46,202 --> 00:19:47,672
Where's chester?
423
00:19:47,705 --> 00:19:49,544
[ laughter ]
424
00:19:49,577 --> 00:19:54,554
Ladies... Ladies, I-I hate
To break in on you like this
425
00:19:54,587 --> 00:19:56,958
But, uh... This is a raid.
426
00:19:56,991 --> 00:19:58,827
A raid?
Huh?
427
00:19:58,861 --> 00:20:00,129
[ hiccups ]
428
00:20:00,164 --> 00:20:01,767
That's right, ladies.
429
00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:03,604
You're all under arrest.
430
00:20:09,484 --> 00:20:12,120
Andy, you can't
Be serious.
431
00:20:12,154 --> 00:20:13,457
Yes, I am.
432
00:20:13,492 --> 00:20:15,595
That stuff of
The colonel's
433
00:20:15,628 --> 00:20:17,097
Is supposed to
Purge the body
434
00:20:17,130 --> 00:20:18,867
And lift the spirit.
435
00:20:18,901 --> 00:20:21,640
Actually, what it does
436
00:20:21,674 --> 00:20:24,112
Is give you a buzz.
437
00:20:24,144 --> 00:20:27,051
The colonel
Calls it elixir.
438
00:20:27,083 --> 00:20:30,492
Other names
Are "Hooch," "Booze"
439
00:20:30,526 --> 00:20:33,565
"Happy water," "Old red-eye"...
440
00:20:35,901 --> 00:20:40,077
In other words, ladies,
You got gassed.
441
00:20:40,110 --> 00:20:42,583
Oh! He wouldn't.
442
00:20:42,616 --> 00:20:43,985
Oh!
443
00:20:44,018 --> 00:20:44,819
[ door opens ]
444
00:20:44,853 --> 00:20:45,888
All right,
Come on!
445
00:20:45,921 --> 00:20:48,995
Come on, move!
Get in here.
446
00:20:49,028 --> 00:20:51,701
Hey...
447
00:20:51,733 --> 00:20:54,674
Well, ladies...
448
00:20:54,707 --> 00:20:56,778
You look well.
449
00:20:56,810 --> 00:20:59,148
I assume this is my suite.
450
00:20:59,182 --> 00:21:01,086
Yes. Come on, move.
451
00:21:01,119 --> 00:21:02,522
Move! Come on!
452
00:21:08,066 --> 00:21:10,671
All right, ladies, I, uh...
453
00:21:10,705 --> 00:21:12,876
I guess you can go now.
454
00:21:12,910 --> 00:21:14,947
[ indistinct talking ]
455
00:21:14,979 --> 00:21:17,786
Would you mind
Dropping me off?
456
00:21:17,819 --> 00:21:18,788
Oh!
457
00:21:18,821 --> 00:21:20,124
Terrible man!
458
00:21:20,157 --> 00:21:22,328
Absolutely unspeakable!
459
00:21:22,362 --> 00:21:23,732
Ridiculous!
460
00:21:23,764 --> 00:21:25,134
Unethical!
461
00:21:32,315 --> 00:21:34,352
Andy, I'm sorry.
462
00:21:34,386 --> 00:21:36,357
Oh, that's all right,
Aunt bee.
463
00:21:36,389 --> 00:21:39,929
You had a good time.
464
00:21:39,963 --> 00:21:41,668
I'll tell you
The truth--
465
00:21:41,701 --> 00:21:43,872
I'm gonna kind of
Miss that singin'.
466
00:21:43,904 --> 00:21:46,142
Hey, I got a idea--
For supper tonight
467
00:21:46,176 --> 00:21:48,213
Why don't you make
A big rum cake
468
00:21:48,246 --> 00:21:50,284
And get back on
That piano stool.
469
00:21:50,318 --> 00:21:53,356
Oh, andy, please!
470
00:22:02,208 --> 00:22:02,642
Oh, hi, aunt bee.
471
00:22:02,642 --> 00:22:05,681
Well, I saw your
Old doc andrews.
472
00:22:05,716 --> 00:22:07,284
Good.
Everything all right?
473
00:22:07,317 --> 00:22:09,356
Mm-hmm, I told him
How I was feeling --
474
00:22:09,388 --> 00:22:12,260
The aches, the pains,
The tiredness, the dizziness,
475
00:22:12,293 --> 00:22:13,898
And what do you think
He said?
476
00:22:13,931 --> 00:22:15,099
What?
477
00:22:15,134 --> 00:22:17,405
"We're not spring chickens
Anymore."
478
00:22:17,438 --> 00:22:20,076
But you're all right?
479
00:22:20,109 --> 00:22:22,248
Yes, for someone who's
No longer a spring chicken.
480
00:22:28,260 --> 00:22:30,397
[ laughs ]
481
00:22:30,431 --> 00:22:32,201
Women.
482
00:22:32,234 --> 00:22:34,939
Boy, they can talk themselves
Into anything, can't they?
483
00:22:34,974 --> 00:22:36,410
They sure can.
484
00:22:36,442 --> 00:22:39,147
They just let their imaginations
Run away with them.
485
00:22:39,181 --> 00:22:41,018
Yeah.
486
00:22:47,833 --> 00:22:49,235
[ clears throat ]
487
00:22:49,268 --> 00:22:50,971
Hey, barn?
Hmm?
488
00:22:51,006 --> 00:22:55,347
How long has it been
Since you had a checkup?
489
00:22:55,381 --> 00:22:57,251
Me?
490
00:22:57,284 --> 00:22:58,553
You kidding?
491
00:22:58,586 --> 00:23:00,290
What do I need
A checkup for?
492
00:23:00,324 --> 00:23:01,460
I feel fine.
Good.
493
00:23:01,492 --> 00:23:02,762
[ laughs ]
494
00:23:08,975 --> 00:23:10,510
Why'd you ask that?
495
00:23:10,545 --> 00:23:12,248
What?
496
00:23:12,281 --> 00:23:14,152
When did I have a checkup?
497
00:23:14,185 --> 00:23:15,454
Oh, I don't know.
498
00:23:15,487 --> 00:23:17,992
I just think everybody
Ought to have a checkup
499
00:23:18,026 --> 00:23:19,529
Every now and then.
500
00:23:21,467 --> 00:23:24,137
You've been looking
A little pale, too.
501
00:23:24,172 --> 00:23:27,178
Maybe you're tired,
Or it's lack of sleep.
502
00:23:27,210 --> 00:23:30,149
[ sniffs ]
Your move.
503
00:23:33,557 --> 00:23:35,862
I don't feel tired.
504
00:23:35,896 --> 00:23:36,931
Good.
505
00:23:40,169 --> 00:23:42,641
I look pale to you, huh?
506
00:23:42,674 --> 00:23:45,515
Yeah, you look
A little pale.
507
00:23:45,548 --> 00:23:50,323
Eyes look a little funny,
And, uh...
508
00:23:50,357 --> 00:23:52,128
And what?
509
00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:53,464
What else? What?
510
00:23:53,497 --> 00:23:57,237
Oh, I don't know.
You just look a little...
511
00:24:01,712 --> 00:24:04,519
It's probably nothing,
Though.
512
00:24:07,525 --> 00:24:09,964
You know,
I do look pale.
513
00:24:09,996 --> 00:24:12,534
My eyes look funny.
I feel warm.
514
00:24:12,568 --> 00:24:14,138
I wouldn't worry about it.
515
00:24:14,171 --> 00:24:15,439
You know, it wouldn't hurt
516
00:24:15,475 --> 00:24:17,077
To have doc andrews
Take a look at me.
517
00:24:17,110 --> 00:24:18,948
I'll get on the phone.
518
00:24:18,982 --> 00:24:20,417
I've been having these
Palpitations.
519
00:24:20,450 --> 00:24:21,720
I didn't tell you
About that.
520
00:24:21,752 --> 00:24:24,191
I woke up just
This morning -- sarah?
521
00:24:24,225 --> 00:24:26,229
Get me doc andrews,
Will you?
522
00:24:26,261 --> 00:24:28,566
And hurry, sarah.
It's an emergency.
523
00:24:28,601 --> 00:24:30,170
Stick with me,
Will you, ange?
524
00:24:30,203 --> 00:24:31,338
Right to the end, buddy.
525
00:24:37,383 --> 00:24:41,026
[ whistling sprightly tune ]
35527
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