All language subtitles for The Andy Griffith Show S03E15 Barney And The Governor 1080p Amazon WEB-DL DD+ 2 0 x264-TrollHD (1)_track4_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,171 --> 00:00:06,540 [ whistling sprightly tune ] 2 00:00:09,577 --> 00:00:12,780 Starring andy griffith... 3 00:00:12,813 --> 00:00:15,283 With ronny howard... 4 00:00:15,316 --> 00:00:19,087 Also starring don knotts. 5 00:00:26,460 --> 00:00:28,696 [ laughter ] 6 00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:42,710 Hi, boys. 7 00:00:42,743 --> 00:00:44,412 Barn. Barn. 8 00:00:50,718 --> 00:00:51,785 All right, who did that? 9 00:00:54,355 --> 00:00:55,489 Come on, come on. Who did it? 10 00:00:55,523 --> 00:00:56,824 Did what, barney? 11 00:00:56,857 --> 00:00:58,726 Threw that piece of paper In the street. 12 00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:03,164 All right, I'm gonna count to 10, 13 00:01:03,197 --> 00:01:05,833 And then I want the man That threw that paper -- 14 00:01:05,866 --> 00:01:09,337 Oh, for pete's sake, barney. I did it. 15 00:01:09,370 --> 00:01:12,106 What's so terrible about that? Just a gum wrapper. 16 00:01:12,140 --> 00:01:14,208 I'll tell you What's so terrible about it -- 17 00:01:14,242 --> 00:01:17,245 You start with gum wrappers, And then it's paper bags -- 18 00:01:17,278 --> 00:01:19,380 Then newspapers, Then tin cans, then rubbish. 19 00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:22,116 First thing you know, Mayberry's up to here in litter. 20 00:01:22,150 --> 00:01:24,785 Now, litter brings slums, And slums brings crime. 21 00:01:24,818 --> 00:01:26,587 Now, is that what you want to See started here in mayberry -- 22 00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:27,655 A crime wave? 23 00:01:27,688 --> 00:01:29,290 [ speaking indistinctly ] 24 00:01:29,323 --> 00:01:31,725 Well, I don't, And I aim to nip it in the bud. 25 00:01:31,759 --> 00:01:33,561 Now, you get That piece of paper, 26 00:01:33,594 --> 00:01:35,296 And you dispose Of it properly. 27 00:01:35,329 --> 00:01:38,166 Oh, come on, barney. Nip it! 28 00:01:38,199 --> 00:01:40,334 Better hurry and get That piece of paper, chester, 29 00:01:40,368 --> 00:01:43,504 Before this town turns into A regular dodge city. 30 00:01:43,537 --> 00:01:45,406 [ laughter ] 31 00:01:51,479 --> 00:01:52,713 See, there, boys? 32 00:01:52,746 --> 00:01:54,648 With an eagle-eyed deputy Like that, 33 00:01:54,682 --> 00:01:58,752 We can all sleep Real relaxed and easy. 34 00:01:58,786 --> 00:02:01,222 [ chuckles ] 35 00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:05,226 [ brakes squeal ] 36 00:02:14,302 --> 00:02:15,569 Ooh-wee. 37 00:02:15,603 --> 00:02:20,441 That's at least A half a acre of car. 38 00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:22,343 What a wagon! 39 00:02:22,376 --> 00:02:23,711 I'll say. 40 00:02:25,446 --> 00:02:26,880 The owner of this car 41 00:02:26,914 --> 00:02:28,882 Must have A real tough time 42 00:02:28,916 --> 00:02:30,751 Recollectin' His number. 43 00:02:30,784 --> 00:02:31,919 Fella can afford this 44 00:02:31,952 --> 00:02:33,687 Probably has Three hired hands 45 00:02:33,721 --> 00:02:35,323 To recollect it For him. 46 00:02:35,356 --> 00:02:36,690 Any idea Who it is? 47 00:02:36,724 --> 00:02:37,891 No. 48 00:02:40,261 --> 00:02:42,763 So that's what A governor's car Looks like. 49 00:02:42,796 --> 00:02:44,232 Governor's car? 50 00:02:44,265 --> 00:02:46,567 Sure. That's his Chauffeur in there now. 51 00:02:51,272 --> 00:02:52,440 Jack. 52 00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:03,384 Barney! 53 00:03:03,417 --> 00:03:04,518 Barney, Come here. 54 00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:11,659 Yeah? 55 00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:13,494 You ain't exactly On the job, deputy. 56 00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:14,762 What do you mean? 57 00:03:14,795 --> 00:03:17,898 Well, you see Where this baby's parked? 58 00:03:17,931 --> 00:03:19,600 Right smack In the middle 59 00:03:19,633 --> 00:03:21,235 Of a "No parking" zone. 60 00:03:21,269 --> 00:03:22,436 Yeah, it sure is. 61 00:03:22,470 --> 00:03:25,239 And don't think I didn't Spot it neither. 62 00:03:25,273 --> 00:03:27,775 What did I tell you About old eagle-eye barney? 63 00:03:27,808 --> 00:03:29,009 You got to get up early 64 00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:30,811 To put anything Past this boy. 65 00:03:30,844 --> 00:03:32,480 These out-of-towners Think they can come in here 66 00:03:32,513 --> 00:03:33,714 And break Every rule in the book, huh? 67 00:03:33,747 --> 00:03:36,317 Exactly what me And the boys were saying. 68 00:03:36,350 --> 00:03:38,419 Yeah, well, they got Another think coming. 69 00:03:38,452 --> 00:03:40,954 They're going to learn Different the hard way. 70 00:03:40,988 --> 00:03:42,323 Something wrong, Officer? 71 00:03:42,356 --> 00:03:43,824 Oh. 72 00:03:43,857 --> 00:03:46,894 Nothing that a little traffic Violation ticket won't fix. 73 00:03:46,927 --> 00:03:49,663 You're kidding. Do you have Any idea whose car this is? 74 00:03:49,697 --> 00:03:52,633 I don't care if it belongs To the governor himself. 75 00:03:52,666 --> 00:03:54,802 This vehicle registered In your name? 76 00:03:54,835 --> 00:03:55,836 Nope. 77 00:03:55,869 --> 00:03:57,037 The governor's. 78 00:03:57,070 --> 00:03:58,839 You can tell the governor... 79 00:04:02,376 --> 00:04:03,711 Governor? 80 00:04:10,984 --> 00:04:14,388 Now, what was it You wanted me To tell him? 81 00:04:14,422 --> 00:04:15,889 Oh, um, oh... 82 00:04:15,923 --> 00:04:17,325 See, I... 83 00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:28,936 You can tell The governor for me 84 00:04:28,969 --> 00:04:32,640 That he's gone And bought hisself A traffic ticket... 85 00:04:32,673 --> 00:04:34,542 Compliments Of barney fife. 86 00:04:38,379 --> 00:04:39,480 Okay. 87 00:04:43,917 --> 00:04:45,519 [ engine turns over ] 88 00:04:48,989 --> 00:04:53,060 This ain't exactly going To make you a pinup 89 00:04:53,093 --> 00:04:54,928 At the state house. 90 00:04:54,962 --> 00:04:56,530 I ain't wearing This uniform 91 00:04:56,564 --> 00:04:59,066 To make friends And influence people, you know. 92 00:04:59,099 --> 00:05:02,803 Furthermore, I'm calling On you men for the last time 93 00:05:02,836 --> 00:05:04,805 To disperse and disassemble. 94 00:05:04,838 --> 00:05:05,806 Break it up! 95 00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:06,907 Come on, move! 96 00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:08,942 You too. 97 00:05:08,976 --> 00:05:10,411 Come on, let's go. 98 00:05:10,444 --> 00:05:11,545 Come on, come on! 99 00:05:14,715 --> 00:05:18,419 Fellow thinks he can Ride roughshod over mayberry 100 00:05:18,452 --> 00:05:20,821 Just because he happens To be the... 101 00:05:20,854 --> 00:05:23,457 Oh, boy, the governor. 102 00:05:27,461 --> 00:05:28,862 The governor?! 103 00:05:28,896 --> 00:05:30,564 Now, andy, before You go jumping all over me, 104 00:05:30,598 --> 00:05:32,032 Just answer one question. 105 00:05:32,065 --> 00:05:33,601 I'm not jumping All over you, barn. 106 00:05:33,634 --> 00:05:34,902 Just one question -- That's all. 107 00:05:34,935 --> 00:05:38,071 I am a police officer Sworn to uphold the law. 108 00:05:38,105 --> 00:05:39,807 I'll go along with that. 109 00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,609 And doggone it, andy, When the time comes, 110 00:05:41,642 --> 00:05:43,143 If I have to dish out Special privileges 111 00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:44,678 Just because Somebody happens -- 112 00:05:44,712 --> 00:05:45,746 Don't have a spell. 113 00:05:45,779 --> 00:05:46,914 I think you did fine. 114 00:05:46,947 --> 00:05:48,649 You do? 115 00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:52,085 Yes. Fella parks his car Illegally, he gets a ticket. 116 00:05:52,119 --> 00:05:53,521 Right. 117 00:05:53,554 --> 00:05:54,688 A parking violation's A parking violation. 118 00:05:54,722 --> 00:05:55,956 That's it. 119 00:05:55,989 --> 00:05:58,058 Of course, since it was The governor's car, 120 00:05:58,091 --> 00:06:00,127 Some folks might feel The diplomatic thing 121 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:02,463 Would have been To just kind of overlook it. 122 00:06:02,496 --> 00:06:03,464 That's right. 123 00:06:03,497 --> 00:06:04,632 Jump all over me. 124 00:06:04,665 --> 00:06:07,635 I'm not jumping All over you, barn. 125 00:06:07,668 --> 00:06:08,636 I'm just... 126 00:06:08,669 --> 00:06:09,837 Oh, howdy, mayor. 127 00:06:12,039 --> 00:06:13,774 [ sighs ] 128 00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:15,543 Well, sheriff taylor, Just what kind 129 00:06:15,576 --> 00:06:17,778 Of a department Are you running here? 130 00:06:17,811 --> 00:06:19,447 The best We know how. 131 00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:21,181 And does that include tagging The governor's car 132 00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:22,716 When it passes through? 133 00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:24,918 It wasn't exactly "Passing through," mayor. 134 00:06:24,952 --> 00:06:27,120 It was parked In a "No parking" zone. 135 00:06:27,154 --> 00:06:29,089 That's right -- right out there Where them two signs is, 136 00:06:29,122 --> 00:06:30,724 In front Of the post office. 137 00:06:30,758 --> 00:06:32,993 Quiet! 138 00:06:33,026 --> 00:06:34,462 Is that what you call 139 00:06:34,495 --> 00:06:36,464 Running an efficient Department? 140 00:06:36,497 --> 00:06:38,532 Now, by golly, sheriff, You just get on that telephone 141 00:06:38,566 --> 00:06:40,434 And you call The governor's office 142 00:06:40,468 --> 00:06:41,802 And you apologize To them. 143 00:06:41,835 --> 00:06:44,037 You tell them To tear up that ticket. 144 00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:47,107 You tell them it was all just One big, stupid mistake. 145 00:06:47,140 --> 00:06:49,142 Now, look here, mayor -- barney Was out there doing his duty, 146 00:06:49,176 --> 00:06:50,911 And that's all there is To it. 147 00:06:52,846 --> 00:06:54,915 Are you going to call The governor or not? 148 00:06:54,948 --> 00:06:57,951 Barney, you better get on over To the school crossing. 149 00:07:04,492 --> 00:07:06,927 [ door opens, closes ] 150 00:07:08,128 --> 00:07:10,698 No, I'm not going To call the governor. 151 00:07:10,731 --> 00:07:13,601 You want to call The governor? 152 00:07:13,634 --> 00:07:15,536 Right there's The phone. 153 00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:22,009 Sarah? Mayor stoner here. 154 00:07:22,042 --> 00:07:25,045 Put me through to the governor's Office at once. 155 00:07:25,078 --> 00:07:26,046 Top priority. 156 00:07:26,079 --> 00:07:27,548 I just want him To know 157 00:07:27,581 --> 00:07:29,883 That we're not all Stupid down here. 158 00:07:29,917 --> 00:07:32,019 The best thing is for me to talk To the governor himself. 159 00:07:32,052 --> 00:07:33,253 Fortunately, I know him. 160 00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:34,822 It may make things A little easier. 161 00:07:34,855 --> 00:07:36,189 Hello? 162 00:07:36,223 --> 00:07:39,527 Mayor roy stoner of mayberry Calling the governor. 163 00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:40,728 We'll get This thing 164 00:07:40,761 --> 00:07:42,930 Straightened out In no time at all. 165 00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:45,032 When I explain to ed that... Hello? 166 00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:48,769 Stoner. S-t-o-n-e-r. Stoner. 167 00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:50,504 And it's very important. 168 00:07:50,538 --> 00:07:52,039 Must be a new secretary. 169 00:07:52,072 --> 00:07:53,173 Hello, ed. 170 00:07:53,206 --> 00:07:54,708 How are you? 171 00:07:54,742 --> 00:07:56,777 Long time, no see. 172 00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:59,947 Look, ed... Stoner. 173 00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:01,214 Roy stoner? 174 00:08:01,248 --> 00:08:04,718 Look, ed, your car Was passing through... 175 00:08:04,752 --> 00:08:07,020 Stoner. S-t-o-n-e-r. Stoner. 176 00:08:07,054 --> 00:08:10,057 Ed, your car Was passing through... 177 00:08:10,090 --> 00:08:11,592 Roy stoner? 178 00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:15,529 Why don't I just turn you Over to sheriff taylor 179 00:08:15,563 --> 00:08:19,032 And let him explain The whole thing in full? 180 00:08:25,072 --> 00:08:26,273 Yes, sir, governor? 181 00:08:26,306 --> 00:08:28,141 This is sheriff taylor. 182 00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:31,144 Uh, governor, My deputy, barney fife, 183 00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:32,946 Tagged your car This morning 184 00:08:32,980 --> 00:08:34,882 And, well, I'm sorry About that, 185 00:08:34,915 --> 00:08:36,116 But the fact is... 186 00:08:36,149 --> 00:08:37,585 Why be sorry, sheriff? 187 00:08:37,618 --> 00:08:40,120 I think what your deputy did Was commendable. 188 00:08:40,153 --> 00:08:41,789 Sir? 189 00:08:41,822 --> 00:08:42,823 That's right. 190 00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:44,291 It shows a man's on the job. 191 00:08:44,324 --> 00:08:45,292 I like that. 192 00:08:45,325 --> 00:08:46,694 We could use more men 193 00:08:46,727 --> 00:08:47,828 Like him. 194 00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:52,600 Uh, governor, Would, uh... 195 00:08:52,633 --> 00:08:55,002 Would you mind Repeating that? 196 00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:57,304 I said what your deputy did Was highly commendable. 197 00:08:57,337 --> 00:08:59,907 You know, in all the years I've been in office, 198 00:08:59,940 --> 00:09:02,576 This is the first time Anyone's had the spunk 199 00:09:02,610 --> 00:09:03,911 To tag my car. 200 00:09:03,944 --> 00:09:05,278 Why apologize for it? 201 00:09:05,312 --> 00:09:06,747 A man does his duty, 202 00:09:06,780 --> 00:09:08,716 He should be commended. 203 00:09:08,749 --> 00:09:10,250 What was that name again? 204 00:09:10,283 --> 00:09:12,319 Stoner. S-t-o... 205 00:09:12,352 --> 00:09:13,687 No, no, no. The deputy. 206 00:09:13,721 --> 00:09:15,623 Fife, barney fife. 207 00:09:15,656 --> 00:09:19,126 Fine. I have some business That takes me in your vicinity 208 00:09:19,159 --> 00:09:20,227 Later in the day. 209 00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:21,729 I might drop in on you. 210 00:09:21,762 --> 00:09:23,764 I'd like to see This deputy of yours 211 00:09:23,797 --> 00:09:24,998 And just shake his hand. 212 00:09:25,032 --> 00:09:26,033 Good day, sheriff. 213 00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:27,234 All right, sir. 214 00:09:33,173 --> 00:09:35,609 He's coming here. 215 00:09:35,643 --> 00:09:37,277 To mayberry. 216 00:09:37,310 --> 00:09:39,312 To congratulat fife. 217 00:09:39,346 --> 00:09:41,649 Listen, don't say anything To barney. 218 00:09:41,682 --> 00:09:42,883 Let me tell him. 219 00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:44,117 I want to see The look on his face 220 00:09:44,151 --> 00:09:45,986 When I tell him The governor's coming here 221 00:09:46,019 --> 00:09:47,655 To shake his hand. 222 00:09:47,688 --> 00:09:51,324 The governor's... Not mad at all. 223 00:09:51,358 --> 00:09:52,860 Thanks to you, mayor. 224 00:09:52,893 --> 00:09:55,395 If you and him Wasn't such good friends, 225 00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:56,797 Ain't no telling 226 00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:58,866 What might Have happened. 227 00:10:14,882 --> 00:10:16,684 Hiya, deputy. 228 00:10:16,717 --> 00:10:18,652 What are you going to give The governor -- 30 days? 229 00:10:18,686 --> 00:10:19,720 [ laughing ] 230 00:10:23,824 --> 00:10:26,126 Wisenheimers. 231 00:10:26,159 --> 00:10:27,761 Bunch of wisenheimers. 232 00:10:27,795 --> 00:10:31,064 They don't appreciate A thing you do around here. 233 00:10:34,034 --> 00:10:35,402 Hiya, deputy. 234 00:10:35,435 --> 00:10:36,436 Otis? 235 00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:38,005 What are you Doing here? 236 00:10:38,038 --> 00:10:39,740 It's only Friday afternoon. 237 00:10:39,773 --> 00:10:41,675 I decided to take A long weekend 238 00:10:41,709 --> 00:10:42,943 Because Of the holiday. 239 00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:43,977 What holiday? 240 00:10:44,011 --> 00:10:46,346 I think it's Our anniversary. 241 00:10:46,379 --> 00:10:48,682 Why ain't you home With your wife? 242 00:10:48,716 --> 00:10:51,151 What kind of a holiday Would that be? 243 00:10:51,184 --> 00:10:53,353 Since you're planning to spend Such a long weekend with us, 244 00:10:53,386 --> 00:10:54,888 Maybe I'd better frisk you 245 00:10:54,922 --> 00:10:56,824 And make sure You ain't sneaking in 246 00:10:56,857 --> 00:10:58,325 Any of that bottled goods Of yours. 247 00:10:58,358 --> 00:10:59,927 I don't have A pillowcase. 248 00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:01,729 Would you get me One, please? 249 00:11:01,762 --> 00:11:03,463 And bring me An extra blanket. 250 00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:05,833 I feel a little Sniffle coming on. 251 00:11:05,866 --> 00:11:08,368 Otis, we're supposed To be running a jail here, 252 00:11:08,401 --> 00:11:09,770 Not a hotel. 253 00:11:11,404 --> 00:11:13,073 [ door closing ] 254 00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:36,930 [ door opens ] 255 00:11:36,964 --> 00:11:40,067 [ phone ringing ] 256 00:11:42,169 --> 00:11:44,237 Sheriff's office. Fife speaking. 257 00:11:44,271 --> 00:11:45,873 This is mayor stoner. 258 00:11:45,906 --> 00:11:47,775 Well, hi, mr. Mayor. 259 00:11:47,808 --> 00:11:49,009 Fife, when the governor 260 00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:50,277 Arrives this afternoon, 261 00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:52,780 Be sure and have the sheriff Call me at once. 262 00:11:52,813 --> 00:11:54,915 The governor's coming here? 263 00:11:54,948 --> 00:11:56,850 Why, yes. To pay you a visit. 264 00:11:56,884 --> 00:11:58,318 Didn't andrew tell you? 265 00:11:58,351 --> 00:11:59,386 No. 266 00:11:59,419 --> 00:12:00,387 Oh. 267 00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:02,790 Well, he will. 268 00:12:02,823 --> 00:12:04,792 In any event, As mayor of mayberry, 269 00:12:04,825 --> 00:12:07,795 I think it's only proper That I should be present. 270 00:12:07,828 --> 00:12:08,929 So, don't forget. 271 00:12:08,962 --> 00:12:10,931 Have the sheriff call me. 272 00:12:10,964 --> 00:12:12,766 Good-bye, fife. 273 00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:15,903 Uh, g-g-good-bye. 274 00:12:15,936 --> 00:12:19,072 The governor's coming here. 275 00:12:19,106 --> 00:12:23,076 Oh, he's really going To let me have it. 276 00:12:23,110 --> 00:12:25,378 There goes my job. 277 00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:35,188 Can you imagine that? 278 00:12:35,222 --> 00:12:38,325 Can you just imagine that? 279 00:12:38,358 --> 00:12:43,063 And the mayor and andy Both in on it. 280 00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:45,232 Oh, boy, oh, boy. 281 00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:48,401 I just can't believe that. 282 00:12:49,837 --> 00:12:51,104 Oh, barney... 283 00:12:51,138 --> 00:12:53,473 Otis, did you hear What they want to do to me? 284 00:12:53,506 --> 00:12:56,143 They want to humiliate me, Embarrass me, 285 00:12:56,176 --> 00:12:59,479 And the mayor and andy both Standing there watching it. 286 00:12:59,512 --> 00:13:00,981 What do you say to that? 287 00:13:01,014 --> 00:13:03,283 Cheers. 288 00:13:08,221 --> 00:13:10,390 I got to clean out this crock. 289 00:13:12,025 --> 00:13:14,361 They're actually going To permit the governor 290 00:13:14,394 --> 00:13:17,564 To come all the way down here Just to hold me up to ridicule. 291 00:13:17,597 --> 00:13:19,166 And why? 292 00:13:19,199 --> 00:13:21,902 Just because I did my duty, That's why. 293 00:13:21,935 --> 00:13:23,503 Can you imagine that? 294 00:13:26,073 --> 00:13:28,208 Bottoms up. 295 00:13:31,879 --> 00:13:34,381 Well, I don't have to take That kind of treatment. 296 00:13:34,414 --> 00:13:35,849 I'm sick and tired 297 00:13:35,883 --> 00:13:38,151 Of all the wisenheimers Snickering at me. 298 00:13:38,185 --> 00:13:39,452 I've had a bellyful. 299 00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:41,855 And a snootful. 300 00:13:41,889 --> 00:13:43,123 You know what? 301 00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:45,558 I just ain't going to be around, That's what. 302 00:13:45,592 --> 00:13:48,328 I just ain't going to give them The satisfaction. 303 00:13:48,361 --> 00:13:50,063 I'm going to take the day off. 304 00:13:50,097 --> 00:13:51,464 That's what I'm going to do. 305 00:13:55,936 --> 00:13:58,939 So you just give them that Little message for me, otis. 306 00:14:02,109 --> 00:14:06,046 You just tell them for me That deputy barney fife 307 00:14:06,079 --> 00:14:09,482 Regrets that he cannot meet With the governor 308 00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:12,986 As he has a few other Frish to fy. 309 00:14:22,495 --> 00:14:25,899 [ crash ] 310 00:14:25,933 --> 00:14:28,301 Imagine a guy Getting that gassed 311 00:14:28,335 --> 00:14:31,905 And he don't know enough To appreciate it. 312 00:14:31,939 --> 00:14:33,606 Hey, barn. 313 00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:35,175 Oh, hi, otis. 314 00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:36,443 You seen barney? 315 00:14:52,425 --> 00:14:55,128 Barney, what's with you? 316 00:14:55,162 --> 00:14:58,231 Hi. 317 00:14:58,265 --> 00:15:01,101 Have you been...? 318 00:15:01,134 --> 00:15:03,403 You have. 319 00:15:03,436 --> 00:15:05,272 Barney, what'd you do? 320 00:15:05,305 --> 00:15:07,274 You're going To mess up everything. 321 00:15:07,307 --> 00:15:11,278 Oh, am I now? 322 00:15:11,311 --> 00:15:13,313 Do you know Who's coming here today? 323 00:15:13,346 --> 00:15:16,183 The governor Of this state's coming here 324 00:15:16,216 --> 00:15:17,484 And do you know why? 325 00:15:17,517 --> 00:15:19,286 I know why. 326 00:15:19,319 --> 00:15:22,622 But barney fife isn't Going to be here. 327 00:15:22,655 --> 00:15:26,426 I don't have to take This humiliation, andy. 328 00:15:26,459 --> 00:15:31,264 So... I am leaving For the day. 329 00:15:31,298 --> 00:15:33,266 You can tell the governor 330 00:15:33,300 --> 00:15:37,404 To put that in his Smipe and poke it. 331 00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:39,739 W-wait, wait, Wait a minute, barney. 332 00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:41,074 Now listen to me. 333 00:15:41,108 --> 00:15:42,609 You've got it all wrong. 334 00:15:42,642 --> 00:15:45,478 The governor is coming here To shake your hand. 335 00:15:45,512 --> 00:15:46,613 Oh, sure, sure. 336 00:15:46,646 --> 00:15:48,615 He told me so on the phone. 337 00:15:48,648 --> 00:15:50,050 Sure, mike, sure. 338 00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:51,484 Listen, barn, listen. 339 00:15:51,518 --> 00:15:54,354 The governor said That he was actually pleased 340 00:15:54,387 --> 00:15:56,623 That somebody had Spunk enough to... 341 00:15:56,656 --> 00:15:58,225 Listen, listen. 342 00:15:58,258 --> 00:15:59,492 He said he was pleased 343 00:15:59,526 --> 00:16:01,628 Somebody had spunk enough To tag his car 344 00:16:01,661 --> 00:16:03,763 And he wants to come here To meet you. 345 00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:06,233 Now, I never have lied To you before, barn, 346 00:16:06,266 --> 00:16:07,767 And I ain't lying To you now. 347 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:13,106 The governor is coming Here to shake my hand? 348 00:16:13,140 --> 00:16:14,441 Yes. 349 00:16:17,577 --> 00:16:21,048 Bless his heart. 350 00:16:21,081 --> 00:16:23,150 Oh, for heaven's sakes. 351 00:16:23,183 --> 00:16:25,785 How'd you get this way? 352 00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:27,087 Hmm? 353 00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:29,589 Otis, what do you know About this? 354 00:16:29,622 --> 00:16:32,425 I think it's the fallout. 355 00:16:32,459 --> 00:16:35,162 It's affecting our milk. 356 00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:38,698 Come on. 357 00:16:38,731 --> 00:16:41,101 Let's get you home And sobered up. Come on. 358 00:16:41,134 --> 00:16:42,735 Okay, here we go. 359 00:16:42,769 --> 00:16:46,439 Oh, uh, otis, listen, If the mayor comes by... 360 00:16:46,473 --> 00:16:48,508 I thought he was coming To bawl me out. 361 00:16:48,541 --> 00:16:49,576 Forget it, barn. Forget it. 362 00:16:49,609 --> 00:16:50,577 Otis, listen... 363 00:16:50,610 --> 00:16:52,445 It means I didn't trust you. 364 00:16:52,479 --> 00:16:54,181 It's all right. Otis... 365 00:16:54,214 --> 00:16:55,548 You're my friend 366 00:16:55,582 --> 00:16:57,184 And here I've accused you Of plotting against me. 367 00:16:57,217 --> 00:16:58,618 I'm no good, andy. I'm just no good. 368 00:16:58,651 --> 00:17:00,253 Otis, tell the mayor We'll be back after a while. 369 00:17:00,287 --> 00:17:01,421 Come on, barney. 370 00:17:01,454 --> 00:17:02,822 I'm no good. That's all right. 371 00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:04,524 I'm no good. I'm no good. Come on. It's okay. 372 00:17:04,557 --> 00:17:05,592 Hey, everybody, 373 00:17:05,625 --> 00:17:07,160 [ muffled ]: Barney fife is... 374 00:17:08,128 --> 00:17:10,263 I'm just no good. 375 00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:14,067 I'm no good, andy. 376 00:17:14,101 --> 00:17:16,536 I'm just no good. 377 00:17:18,571 --> 00:17:19,806 Okay. Come on. 378 00:17:19,839 --> 00:17:20,807 I'm no good. 379 00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:21,808 I'm... 380 00:17:21,841 --> 00:17:23,810 No good, andy. 381 00:17:23,843 --> 00:17:25,678 Barney, will you quit? 382 00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:27,147 Let's get in the house. 383 00:17:27,180 --> 00:17:28,548 Now, we got to move fast. 384 00:17:28,581 --> 00:17:29,816 But it's true. 385 00:17:29,849 --> 00:17:31,418 I'm just no good. 386 00:17:31,451 --> 00:17:33,286 It's not true, barney. 387 00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:34,287 You're good. 388 00:17:34,321 --> 00:17:35,555 Come on. 389 00:17:35,588 --> 00:17:36,556 Just saying that. 390 00:17:36,589 --> 00:17:38,091 No, I'm not. 391 00:17:38,125 --> 00:17:39,692 Do you really Believe that? 392 00:17:39,726 --> 00:17:41,694 Yes. Now, come on. 393 00:17:41,728 --> 00:17:43,163 Then say it again. 394 00:17:43,196 --> 00:17:45,298 You're good. You're good. 395 00:17:45,332 --> 00:17:47,700 Now let's get In the house. 396 00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:48,801 Here we go. 397 00:17:48,835 --> 00:17:49,802 That's it. 398 00:17:49,836 --> 00:17:51,138 Here we go. 399 00:17:51,871 --> 00:17:54,574 Andy... 400 00:17:54,607 --> 00:17:57,310 What? 401 00:17:57,344 --> 00:17:59,312 You're good, too. 402 00:17:59,346 --> 00:18:00,713 Okay. 403 00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:01,848 And I like you. 404 00:18:01,881 --> 00:18:03,316 Swell. Come on. 405 00:18:03,350 --> 00:18:04,784 Let's get in the house. 406 00:18:13,860 --> 00:18:16,163 No, I can... I can -- I can get up. 407 00:18:19,366 --> 00:18:20,867 Oh, good, good. 408 00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:22,302 There you are. 409 00:18:25,805 --> 00:18:27,474 Do you like me? 410 00:18:27,507 --> 00:18:29,742 Yes. Now come on. 411 00:18:29,776 --> 00:18:32,745 Well, why don't You say it? 412 00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:34,481 I like you. 413 00:18:34,514 --> 00:18:36,483 I like you, too. 414 00:18:36,516 --> 00:18:38,251 Good. I like you, too. 415 00:18:38,285 --> 00:18:40,187 I liked you first. 416 00:18:43,256 --> 00:18:46,226 I have always Liked you. Good. 417 00:18:46,259 --> 00:18:47,660 Have you always liked me? 418 00:18:47,694 --> 00:18:49,796 Barney, can't I Make you understand? 419 00:18:49,829 --> 00:18:52,265 We got to get you Straightened out before The governor gets here. 420 00:18:52,299 --> 00:18:53,533 Now, will you cooperate? 421 00:18:53,566 --> 00:18:54,801 The governor... Yes. 422 00:18:54,834 --> 00:18:56,769 ...Is coming here. That's right. 423 00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:58,805 To shake my hand. To shake your hand. 424 00:18:58,838 --> 00:18:59,872 Bless his heart. 425 00:18:59,906 --> 00:19:01,208 Come on. 426 00:19:04,611 --> 00:19:06,779 And that's all he said? 427 00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:08,348 Nothing more? 428 00:19:08,381 --> 00:19:10,217 That's all, mayor. 429 00:19:10,250 --> 00:19:12,585 Just said they'd be back. 430 00:19:12,619 --> 00:19:16,223 Well, they are always In this office. 431 00:19:16,256 --> 00:19:17,324 Always. 432 00:19:17,357 --> 00:19:19,659 Today of all days that... 433 00:19:19,692 --> 00:19:22,262 Well, that is just fine. 434 00:19:22,295 --> 00:19:25,532 That is just fine. 435 00:19:34,807 --> 00:19:37,677 They ever clean this crock? 436 00:19:39,312 --> 00:19:40,647 The governor coming here today 437 00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,782 And the man he's coming Specifically to see 438 00:19:42,815 --> 00:19:44,951 Doesn't even have The decency to show up. 439 00:19:51,258 --> 00:19:53,626 Oh, dear. 440 00:19:53,660 --> 00:19:58,265 Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk. 441 00:19:58,298 --> 00:20:00,533 I just hope when the governor Does get here, 442 00:20:00,567 --> 00:20:02,569 They'll at least come by. 443 00:20:02,602 --> 00:20:03,903 Uh, mayor. 444 00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:08,908 What? 445 00:20:08,941 --> 00:20:11,411 Skoal. 446 00:20:22,522 --> 00:20:24,791 There you go. 447 00:20:24,824 --> 00:20:28,328 I never had so many Hot and cold showers in my life. 448 00:20:28,361 --> 00:20:30,897 Now, tell me one more time -- The last thing you remember 449 00:20:30,930 --> 00:20:32,632 Is taking a drink of water Out of the cooler? 450 00:20:32,665 --> 00:20:33,800 That was it, andy. 451 00:20:33,833 --> 00:20:35,935 Next thing I know It's happy new year. 452 00:20:35,968 --> 00:20:37,504 I don't understand it. 453 00:20:37,537 --> 00:20:38,871 I had a drink of water 454 00:20:38,905 --> 00:20:41,508 Out of that cooler This morning and... 455 00:20:41,541 --> 00:20:42,575 Otis. Otis. 456 00:20:42,609 --> 00:20:44,877 He spiked the spring water. 457 00:21:02,862 --> 00:21:05,565 I don't know whether I can stand this, andy. 458 00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:08,034 I never shook hands With a governor before. 459 00:21:08,067 --> 00:21:10,303 Oh, pull yourself Together, barn. 460 00:21:10,337 --> 00:21:12,271 It's just like any other hand. Come on. 461 00:21:14,507 --> 00:21:16,643 Oh, sorry to keep you Waiting, governor. 462 00:21:16,676 --> 00:21:17,677 I'm sheriff taylor. 463 00:21:17,710 --> 00:21:18,745 Hello, sheriff. 464 00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:20,447 This is my deputy, Barney fife. 465 00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:22,782 Yes, the man Who gave me a Parking ticket. 466 00:21:22,815 --> 00:21:24,083 I like that Very much. 467 00:21:24,116 --> 00:21:25,852 To me, it's a Splendid example 468 00:21:25,885 --> 00:21:28,020 Of a man concentrating On his duty. 469 00:21:28,054 --> 00:21:29,989 You know, you Can't really have 470 00:21:30,022 --> 00:21:31,458 100% law enforcement 471 00:21:31,491 --> 00:21:34,327 If you make exceptions To a few privileges. 472 00:21:34,361 --> 00:21:35,528 Good, good. 473 00:21:35,562 --> 00:21:37,830 Keep up the fine work. 474 00:21:38,965 --> 00:21:40,900 [ clearing throat ]: Thank you. 475 00:21:40,933 --> 00:21:42,669 I thought it was Important enough 476 00:21:42,702 --> 00:21:44,003 To come here And tell you myself. 477 00:21:44,036 --> 00:21:45,938 Well, that was mighty nice Of you, governor. 478 00:21:45,972 --> 00:21:47,006 We sure do appreciate it. 479 00:21:47,039 --> 00:21:48,341 I'd like To stay here 480 00:21:48,375 --> 00:21:49,542 And visit with you Some more, 481 00:21:49,576 --> 00:21:51,511 But I have to start Back to the capital. 482 00:21:51,544 --> 00:21:52,879 Pleasure meeting You, boys. 483 00:21:52,912 --> 00:21:54,547 Appreciate you Coming down. 484 00:21:54,581 --> 00:21:56,416 Keep up the fine work, Sheriff. 485 00:21:56,449 --> 00:21:57,617 We'll try. 486 00:21:57,650 --> 00:21:59,552 We'll see you. 487 00:22:04,957 --> 00:22:08,728 Well... That's the hand That shook the hand, did it? 488 00:22:08,761 --> 00:22:09,996 Yeah. 489 00:22:10,029 --> 00:22:12,832 I got a good mind not To wash it for a week. 490 00:22:15,067 --> 00:22:16,769 Wonder where the mayor is. 491 00:22:16,803 --> 00:22:18,538 Otis, you seen the mayor? 492 00:22:34,421 --> 00:22:35,522 Mayor? 493 00:22:36,689 --> 00:22:37,857 Hmm? 494 00:22:37,890 --> 00:22:42,128 Andy... He's smashed. 495 00:22:42,161 --> 00:22:44,731 Mayor, you missed The governor. 496 00:22:44,764 --> 00:22:47,467 Governor? 497 00:22:49,902 --> 00:22:52,639 Hi, governor. 498 00:22:52,672 --> 00:22:54,907 Mayor stoner of mayberry. 499 00:23:03,983 --> 00:23:05,685 Showers? 500 00:23:05,718 --> 00:23:07,887 Showers. 501 00:23:19,466 --> 00:23:21,501 That was a terrible thing, Otis -- 502 00:23:21,534 --> 00:23:23,503 Spiking the water In the cooler. 503 00:23:23,536 --> 00:23:24,704 That's a serious offense. 504 00:23:24,737 --> 00:23:26,873 You beat everything. You know that? 505 00:23:26,906 --> 00:23:28,441 Well, I'm sorry, andy. 506 00:23:28,475 --> 00:23:31,043 I guess it was Sort of a dumb thing to do. 507 00:23:31,077 --> 00:23:33,145 I was just settling down For a long weekend, 508 00:23:33,179 --> 00:23:35,582 And -- well, I'm sorry. 509 00:23:35,615 --> 00:23:37,216 I still say we ought to throw The book at him, 510 00:23:37,249 --> 00:23:39,586 Put him in that cell, And throw away the key. 511 00:23:39,619 --> 00:23:42,522 He's going back to his cell -- Never mind about that. 512 00:23:42,555 --> 00:23:43,956 All right, otis. Let's go. 513 00:23:43,990 --> 00:23:46,526 We'll just keep you A little longer than usual. 514 00:23:46,559 --> 00:23:47,994 Can I have a drink? 515 00:23:48,027 --> 00:23:49,929 Help yourself, And hurry up. 516 00:23:49,962 --> 00:23:51,063 Mm. 517 00:23:51,097 --> 00:23:54,000 [ sighs ] 518 00:23:57,236 --> 00:23:59,606 Oh, what is that? 519 00:23:59,639 --> 00:24:03,242 Water, otis -- Pure, clear spring water. 520 00:24:03,275 --> 00:24:05,177 Oh, it's disgusting. 521 00:24:05,211 --> 00:24:07,113 You fellas Really drink that? 522 00:24:07,146 --> 00:24:08,681 Mm-hmm. 523 00:24:12,218 --> 00:24:15,722 Oh, what a weekend This is gonna be. 524 00:24:17,223 --> 00:24:19,692 Cheers. 525 00:24:26,298 --> 00:24:29,502 [ whistling sprightly tune ] 35304

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