All language subtitles for The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet S02E13 The Insurance Policy 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP2 0 H 264-ZEW_track3_[eng]

- How do you do, madam?

My name is Ozzie Nelson.

- Well, what a coincidence.

I'm Mrs. Ozzie Nelson.

- Say, that is a
good one, isn't it?

Could I interest you in some
Listerine Antizyme Toothpaste?

- Yes, you certainly could.

- In my opinion, this
is absolutely the finest

toothpaste money can buy.

Here you are.

- Oh, thank you.

- And another one.
- Well, thank you.

- And another one.

[theme music]

- Listerine, the most widely
used antiseptic in the world,

and Antizyme, the first
all-day anti-enzyme toothpaste,

presents "The Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet,"

starring the entire
Nelson family.

Here is Ozzie, who plays
the part of Ozzie Nelson.

And of course, his lovely wife
Harriet as Harriet Nelson.

The older of the Nelson boys,
David, appears as David Nelson.

And his younger brother,
the irrepressible Ricky,

played by Ricky Nelson.

The Nelson's next-door
neighbor, Thorny,

is played by Don DeFore.

- Did you lose something?
- Hmm?

Oh.

No, I'm sure I haven't lost it.

- What's that?

- Oh, well, this is a bracelet.

I bought it about
six months ago.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I know what that is.

I mean, what is it you've lost?

Now, wait a minute.

Don't tell me you lost
the car keys again.

- I resent that.

You're the one who's
always losing the car keys.

- Are you kidding?

I've never lost the
car keys in my life.

Come on.

Stop changing the subject.

What is it you've lost,
or that you haven't

lost but you're looking for?

- I'll look a little further.

I may find it yet.

- For goodness sakes.

Why don't you want to tell me?

- Well, if you must
know, it's because you'll

insist it's some
Freudian thing, and I've

lost it because subconsciously
I don't like it.

- In other words, it's
something I gave you.

- Well, yes, but I didn't lose
it because I don't like it.

I'm not even sure
I've lost it yet.

- Wait a minute.

Could it be the gold pin?

- What gold pin?

- You know, the gold pin I
gave you for our 13th wedding

anniversary.

The one with the big 13?

The one you never wear.

- How did you guess?

Did you find it?

- No.
Why?

Did you lose it?

- Well, it was what
I was looking for.

How did you guess?

- Well, there is a lot to
this Freudian business.

I mean, you do have a
tendency to lose the things

that you don't like.

- Well, now what makes
you think I don't like it?

- Well, you never wear it.

- But I like it.

- I don't know.

I just thought it was
kind of a clever idea.

I mean, our 13th wedding
anniversary and then the

pin with the 13 on it.

- Well, yes, it was
a very clever idea,

and I used to wear
it a great deal.

Well, you know how
superstitious some people are.

And I always had the feeling
that they were shying away

from me when I wore it.

Besides, it was very hard to
find an occasion to wear it.

- Well, I don't know.

A pin like that could be worn
on the 13th of every month.

That's very appropriate.

Or you could take it
and turn it upside down

and wear it on the 31st.

- It must be around
here someplace.

- Well, I wouldn't
worry too much about if.

If you have lost
it, it's insured.

- I know.

I haven't lost it.

- Well, I-- uh,
where are the boys?

Maybe they've seen it.

- I'm sure I haven't lost it.

- Yes, I know.

I say, where are the boys?

- Oh, they're downstairs
in the living room.

I asked them to go see if
I'd lost it down there.

- Oh, oh, uh, but, uh--

but you haven't lost it.

- You look under the
cushions in the couch,

and I'll look under the
cushions in the chairs.

- You look under the
cushions in the couch,

and I'll look under the
cushions in the chairs.

- What difference does it make?

- Plenty.

Pop always sits in the chairs.

- So what?

- Sometimes money falls
out of his pockets.

- We're not looking
for money, Ricky.

We're looking for Mom's pin.

- If I did happen
to find some money,

do you think I could keep it?

- It wouldn't be very honest.

- What should I do?

- Just do the honest thing.

Split 50-50 with me.

- OK, but you've got to
split 50-50 with me, too.

- Come on.
Just start looking.

- Hey, David, do we split
50-50 on everything we find?

- Sure.

- Well, congratulations, my boy.

You now have just become a
half owner of a green button.

- Keep it.

I feel in my
generous mood today.

- Oh, thanks a lot.

[music playing]

[doorbell rings]

- Hello, sonny.

Is mother or dad home?
- Yes, sir.

Come right in.

- Thank you.

Would you tell them the
claim investigator is here?

- Holy smokes.

A real life investigator?

- Well, I seem to
be alive, but I'm

afraid I'm not the kind
of investigator you're

thinking of.

I don't carry a gun.

I've never been sapped
with a blackjack.

I'm just an insurance
claim investigator.

I just go around and listen
to a lot of tall stories.

- Who is it, Rick?

- It's the man from
the insurance company.

He's here to listen to
a lot of tall stories.

- Mr. Nelson?

- Oh, yes.

- My name is
Matthews, Mr. Nelson.

- Oh, how do you do?

Come right in and sit
down, Mr. Matthews.

- Thank you.

- Oh, this is my wife.

This is the gentleman from
the insurance company.

- Oh, how do you do?
- How do you do?

- Won't you sit down?
- Thank you.

- Matthews, it's a
very quick service.

- Well, we try to
straighten these things out

as promptly as possible.

And now, as I
understand it, this

is a case of mysterious
disappearance.

- Yes, that's right.

The pin just disappeared.

We can't find it anywhere.

- I see.

Well, we'll have to
fill out a claim.

I have a description of
the pin from the policy.

A large round gold pin with a
large number 13 in the center.

- Yes, that's right.

It was a gift I
gave to Mrs. Nelson

for our 13th
wedding anniversary.

I designed it myself.

- Oh, congratulations.

- Oh, well, thank you.
- Oh, well, thank you.

- It's been quite a
few years ago, though.

- I design little
things-- oh, oh.

- I see.

Now, when did you first
notice the pin was missing,

Mrs. Nelson?

- Oh, it was a
couple of days ago.

- Uh, she evidently noticed it
was missing a couple of days

ago, but just this morning,
I came into our bedroom

and I saw that Mrs. Nelson
was searching for something.

And I don't know.

Somehow, I got the
idea that she might

have lost this particular
13th anniversary pin.

And, uh-- [chuckles] and
sure enough, she had.

- That's interesting.

Well, when you first
noticed the loss,

did you notify the police?

- Oh, no.

- No, no, no.

Who'd want to-- uh, I mean, uh--

no, we didn't figure
anybody had stolen it.

We figured that Mrs. Nelson
had just misplaced it.

- Do you often misplace
things of value, Mrs. Nelson?

- Oh, just this pin.

- No, no, no, she
doesn't make a habit

of misplacing valuable things.

This pin has great
sentimental value, naturally,

being an anniversary gift.

I paid $125 for it.

- I see.

- Naturally, we're not
interested in the money,

of course.

It's the sentimental
value of the--

The $125.

It's the principle of the thing.

I mean, you can't
actually measure sentiment

in terms of money.

I paid $125.

- I made a note of that the
first time you mentioned it.

Now, I have your
assurance that the pin was

lost through
inadvertence, and you've

made every reasonable
effort to locate it.

- Uh, uh--

- Oh, yes, we turned
the place upside down.

- Every region.

- Well, it seems
like a simple matter.

I'll just OK the claim,
and you'll get your check

in the mail tomorrow.

- Oh, that's--

- Say, there seems to be
one little discrepancy here.

- Oh, what's that?

- According to the
files at our office,

our appraiser values
the pin at $150.

Well, we'll send you a
check in the mail tomorrow.

Good night.

- Oh, uh--
- Goodnight, Mr. Matthews.

- Good night.

- How about that?

There's nothing here for me.

- Oh, were you
expecting something?

- Yeah, I was expecting a
birthday party invitation.

- Oh, who from?

- I don't know.

But I passed the
word around school

that I always give
good birthday presents.

- Well, maybe you'll be
luckier tomorrow morning.

- Oh, say, here's a letter
from the insurance company.

- Well, that's quick action.

- Sure is.

There's a check.

- Ooh, for $125.

I wonder why they made
it out to both of us.

- Oh, yeah.

"Ozzie and Harriet Nelson."

Well, that's probably just
some technicality of some sort.

Well, here, do you
want to endorse it,

and I'll take it down
the bank and cash it?

And then I'll go over
the jewelry store

and have them make up another
pin, just like the one

you lost.

- Oh...

- Well, don't you
want another pin?

- Well, it wouldn't be the same.

- Oh, sure.

I'll have it made
up exactly the same.

- Oh, but I'd know
the difference.

- Well, OK, I have
a better idea.

You know the little place in
the middle where we have the 13,

why don't I have that
made removable, you see?

And then each year, we can put--

- No, you don't.

You're not going to
get out of buying

me an anniversary present.

There are too many
things I need.

- Well, if that's
the way you feel,

here, just endorse the check and
we'll deposit it in my account.

- Oh, I have a better idea.

Why don't you just endorse
it but give it to me?

After all, the pin
belonged to me, so

the money's rightfully mine.

Here you are, dear.

- Oh now, not so fast.

It's true I did give
you the pin and it

was yours while you had it.

But after all, you lost the
pin, which I had paid $125 for.

So since you no
longer have the pin,

and the money was sent over
here to replace the pin,

then the check is
obviously rightfully mine.

- There must be a hole
in that some place.

- No, no, not at all.

Let's approach
this thing legally

and look at the various
equities involved here.

Now, to whit, I
purchased a pin for $125

and gave the pin to you.

Thence, you enjoyed usage of
said pin for several years.

Thence, you lost said pin.

Thence, the company returned
my money, hence the check

and the money belongs to
me, uh, uh, henceforth.

- Would you mind
repeating that again?

- Cut out the stalling.

Now, here's the pin.
You have the check.

Just sign it.

- No.

I don't know very
much about law,

and I don't think it's ethical
for you to try and pressure me.

- I'm not trying
to pressure you.

Now, come on.

Here's the pin.

Sign the check.

You have no good reason not to.

- Well, in that case, I
think I'll go out and consult

my recipe book.

- Recipe-- what are
you talking about?

- So I can cook
up a good reason.

- Oh.

[music playing]

Yes.

Uh, yes, yes.

I know, but is it always
customary to issue the check

to both the husband
and the wife?

After all, I pay the premiums.

Yes, I understand, but as
I've said, in view of--

hmm?

Oh, oh.

Oh, yes, of course.

I didn't mean to take
up so much of your time.

Well, I appreciate your
courtesy in the matter.

And I'll call you
right after lunch.

Oh.

Well, then later
in the afternoon?

Oh, I see.

Uh, how long do you
expect to be on vacation?

[doorbell rings]

OK!

Oh, yeah, well, I--
yes, I have to go now.

Well, thank you very much,
and have a good time.

[doorbell rings]

OK.

Hi.

- Oh, thank you.

I'll bet you can't guess what
I've been doing downtown.

- Uh, I can imagine.

- Run upstairs,
and I'll show you.

I know what you've been doing.

You've been phoning
the insurance company.

- What makes you so sure?

- Because I've been trying
to phone home all morning.

- Well, were you trying to reach
me about something important?

- Yes, I was.

- Oh, now wait a minute.

Don't tell me you
changed your mind

and decided to endorse
the check over to me.

- Yes, as a matter
of fact, I did.

- Oh!

- I thought the whole
thing over and decided

that was the only
fair thing to do.

- Well, believe me, Harriet,
it was a very wise decision.

- I figured you'd think so.

- You just sign it
right on the top there.

Oh, here.

Write it on this.

Uh, just as a
point of curiosity,

what made you change your mind?

Was it my presentation
of the legal aspects?

- Well, partly.

I was trying to think of
a solution to our problem.

So I went down to the emporium
and I bought this new winter

coat.

- Oh, uh, yes.

This is a beautiful
coat, Harriet.

What's that got to do
with solving our problem?

- Well, I made the decision to
whit whence I bought the coat

and charged it.

Thence, I endorsed
the check to you.

Hence, when the bill comes,
you can pay it with the check.

Do you see any holes in that?

- Uh, no, uh, not except
the one in my head.

- Come on, Rick.

Let's go.

We promised to do
this yesterday.

Boy, what a mess.

Every time we go to
a drive-in movie,

you spill stuff all over
the back of the car.

- That happened when they
show that bathing beauty

contest in the newsreel.

- What's that got to do with it?

- I had my mouth full of
popcorn and I tried to whistle.

- Boy, look at this.

Popcorn, candy, ice
cream, milk cartons.

You're a regular human disposal.

- And think how much I would
have eaten if it had been

a double-feature.
- Come on.

You help clean up some
of this stuff, too.

- OK.

Ouch.

- What's the matter?

- I don't know.

I stuck myself on something.

Hey, look at this!

- Hey, it's Mom's pin!

- Yeah, I wonder how
it got back here.

- I don't know.

- Well, I bet Pop will be happy.

- I'll say.

- Think he'll be
happy about $1 worth?

- Ricky, don't be so mercenary.

- Mercenary?

Heck, who's being mercenary?

- You are.

- I am not.

Besides, I don't even
know what it means.

- "Mercenary" means you're
always thinking about money.

- I am not.

- Never mind.

Come on.

Let's show this to Pop.

- Just remember, if there's
a reward, I found it.

- Pop, guess what we found?

- Guess what we found?

Guess what I found.

- OK, guess what Ricky found?

- OK, what did you find?

- Mom's gold pin.

- Oh!
How about that.

That's wonderful.

Harriet!

Harriet!

- In case there's a reward,
you know my address, Pop.

- What's the trouble?

- Look what Ricky
found, your pin.

- Oh, how wonderful.

Where did you find it?

- In the back of the car.

- Well, how about that.

Good for you.

- I know sometimes in the
lost-and-found columns,

they offer rewards.

- I wonder how it got
in the back of the car.

- Maybe you dropped off
one of Mom's dresses.

- Yes, it could have when I
took them to the cleaners.

- In fact, they always mention
a reward in the lost-and-found

column.

- Well, OK, here's $1.00.

Oh, gee.

Thanks, Pop.

- Don't forget your old pal.
- Who's that?

- Well, me.

Don't tell me you're going to
let that money go to your head.

- Don't worry.
It's not going to go to my head.

It's going to go to my stomach.

Be my guest at the
ice cream store.

- Well, the pleasure's all mine.

- Well, it looks like
this is our lucky day.

We got the pin back.

- Yep, and I got a new coat.

- We also got a
nice little check

from the insurance company.

Oh, wait a minute.

What about the
insurance company?

- What about them?

- Well, we'll have to tell
them that we found the pin.

- Well, of course.

- I know, but don't you see,
they'll want the check back.

- Well, give it to them, dear.

You had it last.

- Well, that's just it.

I can't give them the
check back because I

was figuring on using the
money to pay for the coat

that you bought.

No, I'm sorry.

You'll have to
take the coat back

so I can give them the check.
- Well, I can't do that, dear.

I bought it on sale,
and you can't return

anything you buy on sale.

- What kind of a deal is that?

- Well, you've always
told me to shop carefully.

Come on.

Phone the insurance company.

- Well, I-- there's
nothing I can tell them.

I mean, I don't have any--

- Oh, I'm sure you'll
come to some agreement.

- Well, what I mean is I
can't say anything to them

and I don't have a
case of any sort.

- Well, you've had
law training, dear.

Even if you don't win,
you have the satisfaction

of knowing you lost legally.

- I know you meant that as
a compliment, but somehow

in my present mental condition,
I can't seem to appreciate it.

- Come on.

Phone the insurance company.

- I still don't know what
I'm going to tell them.

- You know that
number pretty well.

- Yes, I've been phoning
them all morning.

I ought to.

Uh, would you connect me with
the claims department, please?

- They've probably had
this happen to them before.

- Well, I'm sure they have.

People try to defraud insurance
companies all the time.

- Claims department.

Matthews speaking.

- Oh, Mr. Matthews,
this is Ozzie Nelson.

Uh, I've got good news.

- Oh, you finally got your
wife to sign the check?

- Uh, yes, but this
is really good news.

Uh, we found the pin, and I'll
send it right over to you.

- Well, that's-- just
a minute, Mr. Nelson.

We don't want the pin.

- But you've already sent the
check for it, so it's yours.

- Now, what would Trans-Northern
Insurance do with your pin?

It wouldn't look good on
any of our executives.

- No, but it's your pin.

I mean, you paid for it.

- No, Mr. Nelson.

You paid for it.

We insured it.

I'm glad you got it back.

Just return our check, please.

- Well, uh, no, uh, see,
uh, I want to explain.

See, a rather-- [chuckles] you
might say a rather humorous

thing has happened over here.

- I should imagine you'd
be very happy about this.

I remember you said the pin
had great sentimental value.

- Well, yes, yes, that's true.

- And our check has great
sentimental value to us.

Goodbye, Mr. Nelson.
- No, no, no.

Now, just a moment,
Mr. Matthews.

You see-- uh, Mr. Matthews?

- I was just getting
your checkbook.

I'll need a check for
$125 for my new coat.

I know you won't believe it,
but I'm so glad we found my pin.

- Well, your pin?
No, no--

- Well, of course.

You said yourself you gave me
the pin and the pin was mine.

And when I lost the pin, the
check was yours and you got it.

Now that we found the
pin, the pin is mine.

- Well, I know, but
what about the coat?

- Oh, well, that's mine too.

And thank you very much, dear.

- I paid $125 for
the pin originally.

Now you want me to give you
$125 to pay for the coat,

and I have to give $125
to the insurance company.

If you lose anything else
of value, I'll go bankrupt.

- Well, dear, those
are the chances you

take when you buy insurance.

- Now that doesn't
make any sense at all.

I think I'll go out and ask
Thorny what he thinks about all

this expensive confusion.

- [laughs]

- I'm glad you
think it's so funny.

- Oh, now, Oz, you
should always try

to see the humorous
side of things.

- I bet you wouldn't laugh
if this had happened to you.

- Of course not.

Then it wouldn't be
humorous anymore.

- Let's look at this
thing logically.

I gave Harriet a pin, right?

- Right.

- She lost it, right?

- Right.

- The insurance company gave us
a check, so the check belongs

to me, right?

- Wrong.

Come on.

- Well, you don't expect me
to pay for the same pin twice.

I'm not supposed to do that.

- Oz, when you're
married, you're

supposed to do a lot of things
you're not supposed to do.

Now, why don't you just
give Harriet the pin

and take your loss like a man?

I figured you've
been to Las Vegas.

- But I haven't
been to Las Vegas.

I got cleaned out
right here at home.

- I'll tell you what, Oz.

Why don't you stay up all
night under a sun lamp?

I'll keep the dice rattling.

I'll blow smoke in your
face, step on your shoes,

spill drinks all over your
suit, and you'll never

know the difference.

- That's no solution.

- Well, I've tried
to help you, but you

refuse to take my advice.

I say you should give
Harriet the pin and--

- Yes, yes, I know what you say.

However, that's
only your opinion.

- Well, didn't you come
out here to get my opinion?

- Well, you can't
settle anything

like this with just one opinion.

I think I'll get
several opinions

before I make up my mind.

- OK, Oz.

- If everybody feels
the same way you do--

- You'll give Harriet the pin?

- No, I'll go get
some more opinions.

- I really do like this coat.

Don't you, dear?

- Oh, yeah, it's fine.

- Well, you should
show more enthusiasm.

After all, you did pay for it.

- Well, yeah, I'm
very aware of that.

Uh, Harriet, I've been
thinking this whole thing over,

and I've decided that
you should keep the pin.

I want you to have it.

After all, I gave it to
you for our anniversary.

- Oh, well, thank you, dear.

And since you've been so nice
about giving the pin back to me

and buying this coat, I have
a little surprise for you.

- You bought a new hat.

- Look.

- A check made out to
me by you for $125.

I don't get it.

- I sold the pin.

- You sold the pin?

But I just gave it to you.

Uh, who did you sell it to?

- Oh, you'll die
when I tell you.

- Well, no, no, you can tell me.

After all, I'm sort of
conditioned to surprise,

as I've been getting
them all day long.

Who bought it from you?

- Mr. Matthews of the
Trans-Northern Insurance

Company.

He called a little while ago and
asked if the pin was for sale.

- Why does he want it?

- He's going to
give it to his wife

for their 13th anniversary.

- Oh, is their 13th
anniversary coming up?

- Well, no, not yet.

But since the company
appraised the pin for $150,

he decided it was such a bargain
that he'd buy it and put it

away for a while.

Now aren't you happy?

- Oh.

Oh, yeah, I think it was a
good deal for you to sell it,

especially since you
didn't wear it very much.

I can't help but think of the
big kick I got, though, when

I went in and picked it out.

You know, I designed it and the
little round pin with the 13

in the middle.

After all, what could
be more appropriate

for our 13th anniversary?

- Almost anything.

You gave it to me on
our 14th anniversary.

- Now, wait a minute.

You mean all this time,
I've been one year behind

on our anniversaries?

- Yeah.

- Well then, the
last anniversary

was really our 18th.

- That's right.

- Well, by golly,
this explains it.

- What?

- Why it seems so strange
to me that David was 17.

- Hi, Oz.

- Oh, hi, Thorny.

Would like some scrambled eggs
or some coffee or something?

- No, no, no.
No thanks.

You know, I've been thinking
over this story of yours

and, frankly, I find it
a little hard to believe.

- In what way?

- Well, Oz, how can a
man forget how many years

he's been married?

- Oh, it can happen, Thorny.

- Well, not to me.

We've got a system.

Catherine worked it out
when we were first married.

- Well, I'd like
to hear about it.

- Well, it's very simple, Oz.

You see, besides giving
Catherine an anniversary

present, I also give her $1 for
each year we've been married.

Naturally, she makes sure I
know which anniversary it is.

- Oh, say, hey, that's OK.

- Pretty sly, huh?

- Yeah.

How many years have
you been married?

- Well, according
to Catherine, 48.

[ending theme]

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- Next week, "The Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet,"

starring the entire
Nelson family--

Ozzie, Harriet,
David, and Ricky--

will be brought to you by
Hotpoint Quality Appliances.

Remember, look to Hotpoint
for the finest first.

The part of Mr. Matthews
was played by Frank Cady.

This is Verne Smith speaking.

Don't forget that a
completely different episode

of "The Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet"

is heard every Friday
night on radio.

Consult your newspaper for
time and radio stations.