Original subtitles

[music playing]

- [SINGING] Point, point to Hotpoint and the life of ease,

for Hotpoint makes the toughest job around the house a breeze.

Yes, Hotpoint means the best for you, appliances and cabinets,

too.

Electric kitchens through and through that work

automatically for you.

So point, point to Hotpoint for your laundry.

Move Hotpoint in and it moves out all wash day drudgery.

So point, point to Hotpoint, as the Nelsons do.

You'll toss your cares up in the air

when Hotpoint works for you.

Let Hotpoint work for you.

[theme music]

- And now, Hotpoint presents America's favorite family

comedy, "The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet,"

starring the entire Nelson family.

Here's Ozzie, who plays the part of Ozzie Nelson.

And, of course, his lovely wife, Harriet, as Harriet Nelson.

The older the Nelson boys, David, appears as David Nelson.

And his younger brother, the irrepressible Ricky,

played by Ricky Nelson.

The Nelsons' next-door neighbor, Thorny,

is played by Don DeFore.

- Hiya, Thorny.

- Oh, hi, Oz.

- Hey, it's a beautiful day, and you're

sitting here like an old crow.

- Thanks.

That's all I need is a little criticism from you.

- [chuckles] Wait a minute.

That's supposed to get a smile, not a snarl.

- Sorry, Oz.

I'm just not in a good mood today.

- Oh, I'm sorry to hear it, old boy.

What seems to be the trouble?

- Oz, you see anything wrong with this shirt?

Be honest now.

Don't spare my feelings.

No one else has this morning.

- No.

Uh, are you referring to the orange juice stains over here?

- No.

Do you see anything distracting about it?

- Well, no, except, as I say, the orange juice stains.

- Well, my entire family feel it's the wrong color.

- Oh, that's ridiculous.

I mean, what color do you expect orange juice to be?

It's orange.

- Oz, I'm talking about the shirt.

They just don't like it on me.

- Oh.

Where'd you get it?

- Well, Catherine gave it to me for my birthday.

- Well, what's she's complaining about?

- Well, actually, it's the pants I'm wearing with it.

- Well, that's ridiculous.

I mean, after all, it's cold out.

I think you should wear pants.

- Oz, apparently you're not supposed

to wear a plaid shirt, like this, with pants of this type.

- Well, that's funny.

You look OK to me for digging in the yard.

That's what you're going to do, isn't it?

- Well, I hadn't quite made up my mind.

They also objected to my socks.

- What's the matter?

They the wrong color?

- Well, I'm not wearing any at all.

I suppose if my undershorts were showing,

they'd probably say something about that, too.

- Well, I imagine a lot of people would.

- I mean, my family, about the color of my shorts.

- Oh, well, what color are they?

- White,

- Well, what is there to criticize about white shorts?

- With pink candy cane stripes?

- Thorny, I should imagine you'd be

very happy that your family thinks enough of you

to criticize you. - Now, wait a minute.

You're not going to start criticizing me, too, are you?

- Well, what's wrong with a little constructive criticism?

- Nothing, as long as I'm not the one getting it.

- Oh, Thorny, stop being such a grouch, will you?

It's a beautiful day.

- Fine lot of sympathy I get from you.

- Well, you don't deserve any sympathy.

You're a lucky fellow.

You ought to be very happy that your family thinks

enough of you to give you a little constructive criticism.

Come on in the house.

I'll get you some cookies.

- Oh, no, you don't.

I'm going to sit right here and feel sorry for myself.

- OK, suit yourself.

[music playing]

Hey, Mom? - Hmm?

- Is Pop around?

- No, he went out a while ago.

- Oh, heck. - Why?

What are you wanting for?

- David wants to ask him a question.

- Who, me? - What's the matter?

You chicken or something? - What's the matter with you?

Are you a chicken?

- You bet I am.

Well, if that's settled, I guess you can ask him.

- Well, what do you want to ask him?

Can I help?

- We want to go up to the lake next weekend,

like Pop promised us.

- Well, I don't remember his promising anything like that.

- Sure, he did.

David and I were right there.

It was up at the lake last summer.

In fact, it was in the lake.

That's how I remember he promised.

- How's that?

- Because David and I held him under the water until he did.

- You mean Pop let us hold him under the water.

- Well, anyway, he promised.

- Oh, I'm sure if your father had made any such promise,

I'd have heard about it.

- Oh, he did, Mom.

We found the note he wrote to remind himself.

- Yeah, I was looking for a stamp up in his desk,

and I found this.

- I'll read it to Mom.

- Big man.

- Ordinarily, we wouldn't have taken it,

but it was kind of hidden underneath a bunch of papers,

and we were afraid of Pop would forget he even wrote it.

- Yeah, but it's in his handwriting,

just in case he did forget.

- Well, what does the note say?

- It says, "Make reservations, four."

- For what?

- It's the number four, like four people.

- Yeah, but there's only three of us.

- Oh, don't be such a dope, Ricky.

Pop makes four.

- Just a minute, David.

Who you calling a dope?

Yeah, there are four of us.

I guess I am a dope.

- If you found this note stuck under some papers,

your father was probably trying to hide it.

- You really think so? - Oh, sure.

You know how he likes surprises.

He's probably planning on surprising the three of us.

- You mean the four of us, Mom.

- She means the three of us.

How can it be a surprise for Pop?

He's planning it, you dope.

- That's the second time you called me a dope, David.

- Well?

- I must admit you're right.

It won't be a surprise.

- Well, I don't think we ought to mention it to your father.

It might spoil it.

- You don't think he'll forget, do you?

- Oh, I hardly think so.

Not after he's written that little note to himself and all.

You know how he likes to surprise us.

- He might surprise us and not take us at all.

- You kidding?

Why would he do that?

- Because you forgot your books the other day

and couldn't do your homework.

- I made up all the work.

And besides, he didn't care anyway.

- Oh, I don't know.

He was a little disturbed about you forgetting.

- You just better not remind him of it, David.

- Better not remind who of what? - Oh, hiya, Pop.

- Hello, dear. - Hiya, Pop.

About David forgetting his schoolbooks the other day.

- Oh, fine, just blab it right out.

- It's OK, Dave.

After all, we all forget things once in a while.

- Like you forgetting to wipe your feet when you came in.

Look at that mud.

- Oh, gee, I'm sorry, Harriet.

- He didn't mean to, didn't you, Pop?

- No, no, I really didn't.

- See there?

I'm with you, Pop, yes, sir, wherever you go.

- Yeah, me too, Pop.

- Oh, well, thanks.

- Well, I'm not going to stay home alone.

- What I mean, Harriet, I apologize.

I'm sorry about the mud.

- Well, that's a very reasonable attitude.

- Well, thanks.

I think that's the way people should be.

I mean, there's a certain person--

I don't want to mention his name,

but he just refuses to accept criticism.

I mean, he's always grousing.

- How can I, Pop?

I don't even know what it means.

- No, no, no, I don't mean you, son.

As I say, I won't mention this man's name,

but he's an older man and he takes criticism--

Thorny-- I mean, badly.

He just won't accept it in the spirit that it's given.

- Oh, and you mean you can't?

- Well, yes, of course.

I mean, I accepted your criticism

a moment ago about the shoes.

- Oh, well, then you won't mind my mentioning

that you forgot to bring home the bread, will you?

Remember I asked you?

- Oh, gee, that's right.

Well, you see, fellas, I don't mind being told about this.

- And you didn't fix the catch on the back door

before you left.

- Oh.

Oh, yeah.

Well, now there, you see, fellas?

I mean, that's what I mean about taking criticism in good grace.

I didn't grumble or grouse about it, did I?

- No, sir.

- No, sir.

- Your mother offered me a little honest criticism,

and I took it gracefully.

I didn't come right back at her and say,

"Who puts all the dents in the car fenders?"

I didn't come back at her and say,

"Who forgets to sew the buttons on my shirts," did I?

I mean, after all, we all should have a say

in what goes on around here.

We're all on an equal basis.

- Are we?

- Oh, sure!

Everybody has a right to criticize, and nobody's so big,

he can't accept criticism.

I mean, even in the biggest corporations,

the smallest employee has a right

to put his suggestion in the box.

You know, the suggestion box that they

have for that purpose. - Oh, yeah.

They have one of those boxes at school.

- Oh, really? - Yes, sir.

Anybody can put a suggestion in it that

has anything to do with school.

- Hey, where is this box?

Boy, do I have a suggestion.

- I think suggestions are supposed to be constructive.

- Just a second.

I got an idea.

Why don't we have one of those suggestion boxes right

here at home?

- Oh, heck, that won't be any fun.

I like it here.

- No, no, no.

The criticisms don't necessarily have to be adverse criticisms.

I mean, just for friendly suggestions

about our home life.

- Well, in that case, I'm in favor of it.

- So am I. I think it's a fine idea.

- I think I'll go along with the crowd.

- Where should we put it?

- Well...

I'll tell you.

Why don't we put it out in the front hall?

And then nobody will see what anybody else is writing.

- Oh, good.

And we won't sign our names. - Oh, boy!

Just like a secret ballot.

- Yeah, that's right.

And then tonight, we can open them all up right after dinner

and read them, huh? - Sounds swell.

- Oh, that sounds like fun.

Hey, where are we going to get the suggestion box?

- Oh, well, I don't imagine they're too hard to make.

- And who's going to make it?

- I have a suggestion.

- Me, too.

- Me, too.

- Uh, I have a suggestion.

You can all stop pointing at me.

I'll make the box.

[music playing]

- Hi, Oz.

- [gasps] Oh, for goodness sakes, Thorny!

Don't you know it's very impolite to sneak

in on a person like that?

- I didn't sneak in on you.

The door was unlocked, and I walked in.

It's the neighborly thing to do.

What's in the box?

- Oh, I was going to tell you about this.

It's a suggestion box.

- Suggestion box, huh?

- Mhm.

- Well?

- Well, what?

- Well, come on, let's see it suggest something.

- This is just a little box that we've constructed,

and we're going to leave it right here.

And then if any member of the family

has a little constructive criticism or a little friendly

suggestion to make to another member of the family,

he just writes it on a slip of paper and drops it in the box

there.

I think it's a darn good idea.

- Sounds pretty dangerous to me.

You can get some pretty strong stuff in there.

- Well, so what?

That's the object of it.

After all, any intelligent person

should be willing to accept friendly criticism

from other members of his family.

- Mhm.

I don't suppose this suggestion box

has anything to do with the conversation you and I had not

too long ago?

- Uh, yes, as a matter of fact, you

were the inspiration behind it.

I happened to mention to David and Ricky and Harriet

that there was a friend of mine who--

Well, he was a fairly intelligent man

by reasonable standards, but he refused

to accept his family's criticism and the spirit in which it

was given.

He'd grumble and complain.

- Just a second, Oz.

You have no right to bandy my name about.

- I didn't mention your name.

I just mentioned that this was a friend of mine and, and, uh--

- Then why did Ricky come over to my house

and ask what "grousing" meant?

- I don't know.

You know, the kid is pretty intelligent.

He probably put two and two together and--

and-- but I didn't come right out and, uh mention, uh--

I didn't.

- Well, OK, OK.

Oz, come on, let's see what the family says about you.

- No, no, no, no, no!

We're not going to open this till later on.

- What's the matter?

You afraid to see what they say about you?

- No, no, no, wait a minute!

That's part of the agreement.

See, around dinnertime, we're all

going to sit around the table together and, uh,

look at the criticisms then. - Now, wait a minute, Oz!

If you're not going to open it now--

- Will you cut it out, Thorny?

Just going to put the box over here in a safe place.

You are without a doubt the noisiest guy

I've ever known in my life.

- Oz, do you mind if I get a cigarette over there?

- No, no.

Oh, wait a minute!

What are you doing here?

- I'm sorry, Oz.

I'm just clumsy, that's all.

Here, I'll help you pick them up.

- Wait a minute, Thorny!

- Let go, Oz, I want to read it!

- Well, if you're going to read it, read it out loud.

- "I hope Pop never changes because I like Pop

just as he is."

- Oh.

- "Signed, Pop."

- Now, wait a minute.

That's Ricky's handwriting.

- [chuckles] Let's see.

"I like Pop because--" well, this is too mushy.

- Hey, listen to this, Thorny.

"Let's all try to be very good to Pop,

because Pop is always so good to us."

Gee, how about that.

- Oz, I'm amazed.

Absolutely amazed.

- I'm kind of surprised myself.

I never realized my family was so fond of me.

- Fond of you?

- Well, judging from what I read,

they act scared to death of you.

- Scared to death?

- I never realized this before, Oz,

but you must be a regular tyrant around your house.

A regular Ivan the Terrible.

- Now, just a minute, Thorny.

- Oh, on the surface, you appear to be

a kindly, easygoing, indulgent father.

But when that front door closes, you must really crack the whip.

- Oh, that's ridiculous!

- Then how do you account for all that sickening

stuff in the suggestion box?

- Well, I guess I'm just a very good father and husband.

- Oh, now, Oz, we both know that isn't true.

I mean, you're a nice enough fellow,

but we all have our faults.

No, the truth is you've got your family beaten down

to a point where they're afraid to say anything against you.

- Oh, the trouble with you is you're just

jealous because my family happens to have

such a high regard for me.

- Oh, I'm sure I could get my family

to say the same thing about me if I wanted

to use your strong arm tactics.

It's why they're afraid to say anything bad about you.

You wouldn't take them up to Mountain View Lodge

next weekend.

- Who told you we were going up to Mountain View Lodge?

- Ricky.

You go up every year, don't you?

- Yes, but I don't recall saying anything to Harriet

and the boys about it.

- Well, Ricky did say you were planning on surprising him.

Well, I won't bother you anymore, Oz.

I'm sure you've got a lot of browbeating to do yet.

- Look, Thorny, let's get one thing straight before you go.

I'm not a tyrant, and I don't browbeat my family.

- OK, Oz, if you say so.

I'll see you later.

And be sure to growl "hello" to Harriet and the boys for me,

will you?

[music playing]

- Hey, Mom? - Yes, dear?

- When do you think we ought to start packing?

- Packing?

- For our trip up to the mountains.

- Oh!

Well, I think we better wait and let your father

surprise us with the news.

- When do you think he'll do that?

- Well, I really couldn't say, dear.

- I'm ready to be surprised any time now.

Gee, I'll bet it's swell up at the lodge this time

of the year.

[phone ringing]

- Oh, I'll get it.

Hello?

Oh, yes, Mr. Monahan.

Reservations for four?

Oh.

Yes, I'll tell him.

Thank you for calling.

- Who's Mr. Monahan?

- Well, he owns the bowling alley.

Gee, I hope you boys won't be too disappointed about this,

but it seems that that note we saw

about making reservations wasn't for Mountain View Lodge at all.

- Well, gee, it wasn't? - No.

Apparently, your father was just reserving a lane

at the bowling alley.

- Gee, and we figured Pop was going to surprise us,

and he sure did.

- Well, let's not be too hasty about this.

You know your father's just full of surprises.

We may go up to Mountain View Lodge after all.

- Maybe we can drop a couple of suggestions in the suggestion

box.

- Yes, that's a good idea.

- Gee, I sure put some nice things about Pop in there.

- Well, I hope you didn't say it just

because you thought he was going to take us up to the mountains.

- Oh, heck no.

I really like Pop.

- You should always be sincere about what you say.

Don't just say things to gain something.

- Oh, I know that.

Heck, I think Pop's swell, and I really

meant what I put in the suggestion box,

and so did David.

- Well, I hope so.

But as I say, your father may still surprise us.

- I hope it's soon.

This sitting around waiting to be surprised

can really get tough on a guy's nerves, boy.

[music playing]

- Say, if nobody has any objections,

why don't we open up the suggestion box, huh?

- Swell! - Oh, good!

I've got it right here.

- Oh, I didn't know that.

OK, Harriet? - Yes, sir.

- Dave?

- Yes, sir.

- Rick?

- Oui, mon capitan!

- Oh, there's one thing now--

- That's the way they talk in the Foreign Legion.

- I know, son.

There's one thing I hope you've all been frank and honest

with your criticisms.

- Well, why shouldn't we be?

- Well, it's just that some people might take advantage

of an occasion like this to sort of butter

up the old man for some purpose or other.

- The old man?

Who is that?

- Well, I suppose that would be me.

- You look pretty young to me.

- You're practically a kid.

- Well, it's easy to see that nobody here would try

to soft-soap me.

- Come on, dear. Aren't you going to open it up?

- Yeah. [door knocking]

Oh!

- Oh, it's Thorny.

- Come on in, Thorny!

You're just in time. - Hi, everybody.

- Hi, Thorny.

- Hi, Mr. Thornberry. - Hi, Mr. Thornberry.

- Hi, Thorny.

We're just reading the suggestions.

- Well, fine.

That's what I came over to see.

- Uh, Mr. Thornberry has an idea that I can't take criticism

from my own family.

I just want to show you how wrong you can be, Thorny.

This first one is addressed to me.

Listen to this.

"We wish Pop would wear more striped ties because they look

so nice with his blue suit."

OK, Thorny, now there's a pretty pointed criticism.

You notice I'm taking it in good grace.

- Yes, I must say, Oz, you're bearing up very well.

- Here's another one addressed to me.

"We wish Pop would buy suits with smaller shoulders

because he has such naturally broad shoulders

that he doesn't need the extra padding."

All right, I'll, uh, go along with that.

There you are, Thorny.

Nobody here is afraid to criticize me.

Here are two very pointed criticisms aimed directly

at me at the way I dress, and you notice I'm not grousing.

I'm not grumbling.

- Mhm.

- Pop knows some fellow who grouses a lot, Mr. Thornberry.

- Yes, you came over and told me all about that, Rick.

Oz, let's hear some more.

- Oh, yeah.

Here's another one addressed to me.

See, Mr. Thornberry had some silly idea

that I had you folks so browbeaten that you'd

be afraid to say a word against me.

That's the reason I'm glad your criticisms have

been so blunt and to the point and directed at me,

which is as it should be.

- Come on, Oz, read it.

- It says, uh, "We wish Pop wouldn't

be such a miserly skinflint.

The big tightwad is a--" Now, just a minute!

Who wrote this?

- I didn't write that, Pop.

- Neither did I, Pop.

- Don't look at me!

- Oh, Oz, relax.

You're the fellow who likes criticism.

Just take it in your stride.

- Look, criticism is one thing, but a suggestion box

is not the place for poison pen letters!

I'll find out who wrote this.

- What are you looking for?

- Fingerprints.

- Oh, Oz, it's probably just a joke.

- Ah ha, here's a big thumbprint right up here in the corner.

Thorny, let me see your thumb!

- Oh, no.

- Well, you might as well.

I'll check it with my fingerprint file anyway.

- Oh, so that's what happened to my Crime Busters fingerprint

kit.

- Come on, Thorny, you might as well confess.

- No, you don't.

- Uh, David, go out and cut off a piece of the garden hose.

We'll give him the old third-degree.

- I demand a lawyer and a trial by jury.

- What do you think you're doing anyway?

In the first place, it doesn't make sense.

I'm not a miserly skinflint.

- I think you are.

- Oh, yeah?

Well, I'll show you.

It so happens I have a suggestion right here from me

to the family.

- Well, let's hear it.

- Now, I hope nobody takes offense at this.

This is just my idea of something

that'll make us all have a happier home.

Yeah.

"I suggest that we spend next weekend up

at Mountain View Lodge."

- Oh, boy! - I second the suggestion.

- I third it!

- I fourth it.

[phone ringing]

- Oh, I'll get it.

Hello? - Mr. Nelson?

- Yeah?

- This is the Mountain View Lodge calling.

I just wanted to confirm your reservation for next weekend.

- Oh, fine.

It's the lodge calling.

Our reservations are all set. - Oh, how wonderful!

- Oh, boy! - Uh, that's for four, isn't it?

- That's right.

What time do you plan to arrive?

- Oh, I'd say about--

well, now, wait a minute.

We are planning to come up there,

but I don't recall making any reservations.

- Well, I've got one marked down for you.

- Well, that's funny.

You're sure it says "Nelson"?

- Oh, yes, sir.

"Mr. Ricky Nelson and family."

- Mom, I suggest that when Pop comes looking for me,

we don't tell him where I am.

- Hi, Thorny, old boy.

- Oh, hi, Oz.

- Oh, what's the matter with you?

- Well, it's that suggestion box idea of yours.

Catherine put one in our house, too.

- Oh, yes, so Harriet told me.

Uh, have you read any of the suggestions yet?

- Yes, and most of them were aimed at me.

Oz, I try to be a good husband and I try to be a good father,

and my family just doesn't appreciate me.

- Oh, well, gee, Thorny, I didn't

think you'd take it so hard.

I only put those suggestions in there

to get back at you for the trick you played on me.

- [laughs] So you're the one who called me a big, lazy bum.

- Well, who else?

I think it's a fitting description.

- [laughs] And you're the one who said I was dressed like he

was going to the rag pickers ball?

- Well, what else?

That's the way you look most of the time.

- Oh, sure!

You're the one who said I was an old penny pincher, too, huh?

- Oh-- uh, no, no, no, no, no, I didn't put in anything like

that.

- You didn't?

- No.

- But you were the one who put the picture of the fat man

in and a 10-day reducing plan?

- No, that wasn't one of mine either.

- Are you sure?

- I'm positive.

- Hmm.

Oz, do you think Ricky would let me borrow his Crime Busters

fingerprint kit?

[ending theme]

- Next week, "The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet,"

starring the entire Nelson family--

Ozzie, Harriet, David, and Ricky--

will be brought to you by Antizyme.

Listerine Antizyme toothpaste stops the major cause

of tooth decay every minute of every day.

- Well, goodnight, folks. We'll see you again next week.

- Goodnight.

And remember, Hotpoint changes your viewpoint, automatically.

- That's what I always say, boy.

- What do you always say, little man?

- Hotpoint changes your viewpoint, automatically.

- You can find where to buy your new Hotpoint

by checking your local classified telephone directory.

Look for Hotpoint under the appliance you want.

Ask your local Hotpoint dealer to show you the new Hotpoint

ranges, the new Hotpoint refrigerators, the new Hotpoint

automatic washers and dryers, and the new Hotpoint automatic

dishwashers.