All language subtitles for R t B S03E01 1080p WEBRip x264 BAE_track3_[eng]

♪ woke up in the mornin' ♪

♪ living like go, let's go,
today is my day... ♪

Aw.

I miss the kids just finding
rocks and bringing them home.

Oh, and leaving them
in their pants

Till we found them
in the laundry.

Mm-hmm.

- Keep.
- Keep. Yep.

- Khia: Seriously. How much?
- Leo: I'd pay a dollar.

Khia: Shut up. The canvas
cost more than that.

Not since you ruined it.

Okay. How much would you guys
pay for this?

- Priceless.
- A million. Priceless.

I'm going to do 20 bucks.

Because you want 15?

What?

They don't know
the art of selling.

Andrew:
Demonstration time.

(clearing throat)

(in posh british accent)
well, hello there, neighbour.

Beautiful day
for a yard sale.

(in lower-class british accent)
we're actually selling our goods

Because money is quite tight
right now.

(in normal voice) guilt is
a powerful selling tool.

Andrew:
I'm looking for a hat.

This one's all right.
A little worn, though.

(in normal voice) buyers
are always looking for flaws.

So, you counter
with the value.

Oh, but look
at that stitching.

Best I can offer is $20.

Oh, $30.

21.50.

(in normal voice)
thirty. Firm!

Well, then,
maybe I'll just go.

(in normal voice)
the walkaway. The powerful--

And they're gone.

Nice.
They're ready.

It was so hot,
how firm you were on 30.

The firmer, the better.

(in accent) oh, but I'm so firm
at 21.50.

Oh, I can't possibly budge
from that.

Ramesh:
I do appreciate your hospitality

As I search for a new home,
but something must be done

About the water pressure
in your bathroom.

Or you could use
the other shower,

As we've mentioned
many times.

And share a bathroom
with teenagers?

Ha!
I think not.

♪ green light sally,
tatty ♪

♪ moved from the burbs
but I still get ratchet ♪

Ken, looking fresh
in that visor.

Hey, ravi.
Nine-and-a-half, right?

Come on. I got you.
Hey, remember.

The andrew pham table has got
something for everyone.

- Uh, 15.
- Fifty.

- Twenty-five?
- A hundred.

Inflation is real.

Fifty was... Uh, was good.

Thank you.

Khia:
Okay. I'm impressed.

But didn't you just
get that shirt for work?

Oh, celebs can't re-wear
the same clothes on tv.

The audience always comments.

You've done, like, three shows.

Three memorable shows.

Is nanaji really selling
his couch?

Camille: (sighing)
not at that price.

- Can you watch my table?
- Yep.

(hudson imitating dog barking,
howling)

Is that my dawg?

Oh, let me check.

If lost,
return to hudson hawksley.

Looks like it, dawg.

(both laughing)

Man, I've barely seen you
lately.

Oh.

How's rockridge's

Newest community development
coordinator?

I'm good.
Got that sweet corner office.

Making moves
on my neighbourhood projects.

But the best part is
when you work for rockridge,

You get priority
camp registration.

Man. Mannix and khia
used to live on those waitlists.

I know. And for leo's
last summer of camp,

I got him into
the good dance camp.

The teacher
was in the jabbawockeez.

Almost.

And I'm ready to isolate
and dominate.

(popping)

(robotic whirring)

Hey.
No squeezing the merch.

(both robotic whirring)

Camille:
Oh, wow.

How old are your wooden spoons?
Actually, never mind.

Mine are nicer.

Okay.
I don't need your stuff,

And dad,
you've been here two weeks.

So, can you get rid of
some of these boxes?

It's only temporary.

I've got my eyes peeled
for just the right condo.

I know, you're
looking for apartments, though,

And you got enough stuff
for a house.

- I'm already selling my couch.
- For $4,000.

Fine.
I'll sell my entire life, too.

Camille:
Dad--

- Okay. Come on.
- Happy now?

Yes.

The passion. The angst.
I feel it.

Would you consider selling
everything to me in bulk?

Um, that'll be a hun--
um--

Five hundred dollars.

Oh. Well,

I only have, uh,

One, two, three--

You know what?

I'm going to give you
the good-neighbour discount.

Okay. Great.

Andrew:
"good-neighbour discount"?

Yes!
(laughing)

I'm going to have a car
in no time.

A car?
No. I'm not ready.

Hey, hey.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

You're selling your toy rocket
from our trip to florida?

No!
Not mr. Bingo.

That's what I said.

This is my last year
before high school.

Teenagers don't need stuffies.
They need...

...Deodorant.

We got this on your first trip
to the calgary stampede.

It cost me 50 bucks to win,
and you loved him.

Dad, chill.
I'm becoming my own man.

- Ah.
- Watch my table.

I need a cardigan.
Bones are feeling the breeze.

(in toy voice) ooh. I guess
it's just me and you, khia.

Why are you like this?

(in toy voice)
to break the social norms

Of how society views
asian parents. Woo!

♪ when I got my eyes on
something-something ♪

♪ then you know
it's going down ♪

Hey, marisol.
How's little juan?

Good.

I'm really hoping we can get
him into a summer camp tomorrow.

I hear you.

Those registration days
are rough.

Speaking of,
I heard a rumour

That you're working
with bob now.

Oh, not a rumour.

Well, it is so nice to have

Some real neighbourhood
representation on the inside.

Oh.

Bob's never really there
for us.

Forget about bob. Whatever
you need, you come to me.

For anything.
Including all your vhs needs.

Right.

- Is that "swept off my cleats"?
- Oh.

Director's cut. Only released
in the former yugoslavia.

Oh, incoming.
Mama's got a fan.

You do the cooking segment on
"good morning gloria," right?

Guilty.

- Can I get a selfie?
- Get in here, girl.

Okay.

- (both laughing)
- (camera shutter clicks)

Can you do the line?

You know,
"make sure it..."

..."simmers till it glimmers."

Amazing. Is there any way
I could get a copy

Of the panipuri recipe
you teased last week?

Of course.
One of my mom's specialties.

I'll make a copy.

Khia, watch my table.

Okay.

Hey.
Back for more, I see.

I brought friends.

They want
the andrew pham guarantee, too.

I knew vhs
would make a comeback. Okay.

Well, I sold my couch,
for a song, by the way.

Uh, have you seen my cookbook?
It was on the counter earlier.

Next to your boxes.

Ah.

Well, perhaps
your selling coercions

Inadvertently resulted in your
cookbook being sold as well.

You sold my cookbook?

The one that my mother
passed down to me,

The one that I've based
my entire career around.

Okay. To who?

To whom.

- Dad?
- I believe sebastian bought it.

So bad... It's bad.

Should I come along?

Camille? Should--
I'll come along.

Sebastian? Sebastian,
we have a problem. Are--

Are you re-selling
all of our stuff?

And making fromage?
Heck, yeah.

- (whistling)
- okay.

So, um, my father sold you
a bin

With my cookbook in it.

Because I was forced to.

But it was never for sale.
And I need it back.

Hmm. Cookbook, eh?

Hmm. Ap-ap-ap--

Well, maybe if I had the 20
bucks back that I spent on it,

My memory would be less foggy.

Mm-hmm. Sebastian,
that cookbook means a lot to me.

- So, give it back.
- Okay, okay. Look.

Everything I bought
is on these tables here

Or in my mystery boxes.

Oh, my god.
Mystery boxes.

Oh. Okay.

You told me you needed
a good price

Because you'd been robbed.

Oh, no.
I dreamt I was robbed.

You see, the lines of reality
blur for me.

Oh, my god.
It's not here.

Did you sell my cookbook?

I don't know. Maybe.
I sold a few boxes.

- To who?
- To whom.

Not the time, man!
Where are those boxes?

Uh, around. I mean,
check the pool neighbours.

- The renters, uh--
- argh!

Kyle? Uh--

Dawg, I had to empty out
my little money bag,

It's so stuffed.

My wares are selling
like hotcakes.

Yeah. I saw.

Even the dvd set
of "harry and the hendersons,"

Season three, huh?

Oh, it's a classic.

I made over $500 so far.

Look. I have been hearing
rumours

That you've been
taking bribes.

Bribes? For what?

For getting people's kids
into summer camp.

What?
I would never take--

Marisol:
I'll take these vhs tapes.

And there's a little tip
in here just so you, you know,

Do your thang.

Twenty dollars
for the shoes.

The rest is for
the vip access.

This is for tomorrow.

Beth hussein. Soccer camp.

I've been taking bribes.

Taking bribes so you get rich,
other kids can't get into camp.

Hey, bob. Hey.

I know you've been
taking bribes.

Huh.
How'd you find out?

Because I've been
taking bribes.

It's about time.

You've been at the place
long enough.

It was an accident!

Yeah. Me, too.
Accident after accident.

I'm reporting you
to robin.

I guess you don't want leonard
to go to dance camp.

It's leo, and what the hell
is that supposed to mean?

I made up the employee-camp
perk, like, a decade ago

To put the twins in improv camp.

And then, I had to open it up to
a couple of co-workers

Who figured it out.

And I been using it as leverage
ever since in case of rats.

That is so intricate.

And wrong!

Look. You of all people
should understand

The things you do
for family.

It's not fair
for everyone else.

Fine.
The wait list for that camp

Was a hundred kids long last
year, and they only take 20.

As the saying goes,
snitches get stitches,

And their kids
don't go to dance camp.

Hudson didn't have it.
Young renters didn't have it.

Dr. De la cruz didn't have it.
Any luck?

No. But the pool neighbours
did present me

With this very exciting
business opportunity.

You signed up for an mlm instead
of finding mom's cookbook?

No, no.
This is direct marketing.

You see--

- Yeah.
- Oh...

- Camille: Okay.
- Well--

Maybe it's in here.

You know,
this is your fault, too.

Say what?

You're the one
who made me sell all my things.

The cookbook
is all her recipes, dad.

It's her handwriting.

It's her little notes.

It's my notes,
and all the changes

That I've made
over the years.

Okay, okay.

Can I offer you these
amino acids as a token of my--

You can give me some space
is what you can do.

What's that supposed
to mean?

(sighing) everywhere I turn,
there you are.

Interrupting
my time with andrew,

Rearranging my cupboards,

Dad-spreading
all over the house.

I hardly think dad-spreading
describes--

And on top of all of that,
you sold mom's cookbook.

So, I'm supposed to give away
all my meaningful belongings

To appease you,

And you lose one thing
and I'm the villain?

It isn't one thing, dad.

It's the thing.

Oh, just walk away.

Always have to have
the last word.

Very mature.

Andrew: Come in. Come in. Yes.
Sit, sit, sit.

Thank you for coming.

We can't thank you enough,
andrew.

It really means the world
to me and juan.

Oh. He got
my hair just right.

Without these camps, we can't
afford childcare in the summer.

You know how expensive
privatized camps are.

Listen.

I called you here because
there's been a misunderstanding.

I can't take your bribes.

Of course.
It is not a bribe.

It is an exclusive
opportunity. Huh?

- Ah!
- Huh.

No, no, no. No.
Please stop winking.

I really didn't mean
to take your bribes.

Hey, is this where we pay
the bribes?

Mm-hmm?

Stop! I am not taking bribes
from anyone.

Now, or ever.

I didn't even know
bob was doing this.

Bob takes bribes
from his wealthy friends,

And we can never get
our kids into camp.

Yeah. How come only rich people
get to give bribes?

I know the struggle.

Getting kids into camps
feels impossible.

But I can't take your money.
It's--

What about those
on bob's list, huh?

Are you going to stop them?

I don't think I can.

Ray:
Well, great.

I guess we're all screwed,
as usual.

No, no.
Oh, no. No. Don't--

Look. I--
here's your money back.

Please don't be mad.

Still on for bombay later?

I'll pay. My treat.

(speaking in spanish)

Wow. I'm impressed.
You sold it all.

It was easy.

But I need money to pay off
my braces. Please help me.

(khia chuckling)

Well, you've officially sold
your childhood

And become a bond villain.

Mr. Bingo would be proud.

Well, I wish mr. Bingo
all the best on his new journey.

Yeah, right.

Ugh.

Hmm.

♪ lately I... Been spinning
out of control ♪

That cookbook was the one thing
that me and my mom shared.

And now, it's gone.

I know.

But your dad's here
in your life,

And he's trying to make
a connection, too.

Is being
too connected a thing?

It is,

But he was there for us
when we needed a place.

How does someone so smart
get accidentally bribed?

I just thought
I was crushing the yard sale.

So, what are you
going to do?

- The right thing.
- Hmm.

(sighing)

(phone ringing)

Woman:
"hello..."

Hey. Robin?

...Is what I would have said

If I answered my work phone
on weekends.

Leave a message and
I'll get back to you on Monday.

Robin, it's andrew.

Bob's been taking bribes and
making a priority camp

Registration list
for his rich friends.

But registration is tomorrow
and it's Saturday today,

So by the time you get this
it'll be too late.

Unless...

Unless I do something
about it.

Sorry, robin, but sometimes
you gotta break the rules

To save the rules. Oh-ho!

Pretty lit, right?

I don't think the kids
are saying "lit" anymore.

Ah. That's not
very lit of them, is it?

(boxes thudding)

I didn't do it.

♪

Hudson:
Which desk is yours?

Andrew:
The one on the right.

Corner office?

Well, it's in a corner.

- Oh, buddy.
- I know.

Want to talk about
your feelings?

Always, but later.

Right now, we got to hack into
the mainframe,

A.K.A. Bob's computer.

Got it?

Classic gen x.

"bonerjamz" with a "z."

(laughing)

- That's good.
- Yeah.

Hey.

You sure you want to delete
all the names off of bob's list?

- You don't think I should?
- I mean, what about leo?

The little guy deserves
a little privy.

Ah.
I love a little privy.

I just can't let leo
be part of the problem.

It's not fair, and
that's not who the phams are.

You're a good man.

You do your thing.

I'll be lookout.

What are you doing?

Dad?

- What's going on?
- I'm going to a hotel.

(zipper rasping)

Seems my presence
has become a nuisance.

Okay. You're not going to
a hotel.

I am sorry
that I blew up at you.

I'm sorry about the book.

It was an accident,
but I feel terrible.

(sighing)

It seems living
together again

Has been a bit more of
an adjustment than expected.

I suppose I'm used to
having my own space.

We'll figure it out.

And you can stay here
as long as you need.

We just might need
a few boundaries.

Ramesh:
Of course.

Perhaps I'll start

By putting
more of my things in storage.

Oh.
Good idea.

You know...

...I like your biryani
more than your mother's.

What?

Meaning the cookbook
was a wonderful part

Of her life to have,

But lately,
I only see you open it up

To make your own additions.

I guess.

Perhaps...

...This is the universe
suggesting a fresh start.

I have been meaning to write
my own cookbook

Ever since I quit my job.

There it is.
Heh.

And I'd be happy
to help...

By staying
out of your way.

Thanks, dad.

Uh, peace offering?

(glasses clinking)

- Ugh.
- Ooh.

- What is this?
- Amino acids?

How many tubs of this
did you sign up for?

I'd rather not say.

Andrew: And that's why
we had to break in.

Are you less angry
I ruined your Saturday?

Guess it's better than

When those raccoons
trigger the alarm.

Hmm.

You gotta break the rules

To save the rules.

I knew it sounded lit.

I've suspected misconduct
for years,

But if bob
has been taking bribes...

...Show me.

(computer keys clacking)

Andrew:
There you go.

Mm-hmm.
Isn't that your son?

Well, bob told me
rockridge employees

Get priority registration.

I swear I didn't know.

I'll deal with it Monday.

Ooh. What are you going to do?
Suspend him? Fire him?

Ooh! Tell him you want to talk,
but schedule the meeting

For 4:45 so he has to stress out
about it all day?

Ah!
Was that a smirk?

I swear I'm going to
make you smile one day.

I'm looking forward to it.
(sighing)

Okay.
All clear, buddy.

(sighing)

Woman on tv:
Hello, cheer masters.

Hey, buddy.

So, I've got some bad news.

Yeah.
We heard.

Can you stop saying "lit"?

I thought "lit"
was still gucci.

Turns out I can't
guarantee you

That spot
in dance camp anymore.

But you promised.

I know, but I made a promise
to the community, too.

We can still try to get you in
the old-fashioned way.

You-- you get it, right?

Sure. Whatever.

(sighing)

Mr. Bingo!

I was going to save it
for your birthday, but--

- You bought him back?
- Yeah. It was easy.

"please.
He didn't mean to sell him.

He wets the bed without
his stuffies to comfort him."

What?

I helped dad win him.

I'm not just going to let
some rando brat have him.

Thanks.
I never should've sold him.

Did you buy back
my rocket, too?

Oh, I don't love you that much,
buddy.

Ugh. Hey.

Hey! Stop that.

Mr. Bingo
can't save you now.

Ugh.

So, I have decided to write
my own cookbook.

- Finally!
- Mm-hmm.

Dibs on the first copy.

Fifty bucks.

(in british accent)
sixty if it's signed.

(in posh british accent)
oh, that's very pricey.

Well, there must be something
I can do...

...Physically, hmm?

(giggling)
hmm.

- Dad!
- Sorry, sorry.

I just want to escape
before anything further happens,

Potentially damaging
our relationship forever.

- Okay.
- It won't happen again.

Too risky.

(in posh british accent)
now, now. Where were we?

Mm-hmm.

(ramesh clearing throat)
I'm sorry.

I forgot my toothbrush.

- Can you get rid of--
- murder someone? Yes.

("gps" by pixel neko playing)

♪ gps... ♪
(singing in vietnamese)

♪

♪ gps... ♪

(singing in vietnamese)