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♪ Here's the story ♪
2
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♪ Of a lovely lady ♪
3
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♪ Who was bringing up ♪
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♪ Three very lovely girls ♪
5
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♪ All of them had hair of gold ♪
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♪ Like their mother ♪
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♪ The youngest one in curls ♪
8
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♪ It's the story of a
man named Brady ♪
9
00:00:20,887 --> 00:00:24,639
♪ Who was busy with
three boys of his own ♪
10
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♪ They were four
men living all together ♪
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♪ Yet they were all alone ♪
12
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♪ Till the one day when
the lady met this fellow ♪
13
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♪ And they knew that it was
much more than a hunch ♪
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00:00:38,905 --> 00:00:43,475
♪ That this group must
somehow form a family ♪
15
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♪ That's the way we all
became the Brady Bunch ♪
16
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♪ The Brady Bunch ♪
17
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♪ The Brady Bunch ♪
18
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♪ That's the way we
became the Brady Bunch. ♪
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Hi.
20
00:01:12,139 --> 00:01:13,071
Hi.
21
00:01:13,140 --> 00:01:14,251
What are you doing?
22
00:01:14,275 --> 00:01:15,852
Oh, tightening the
clamp on a water hose.
23
00:01:15,876 --> 00:01:17,454
This is my new
friend Kerry Hathaway.
24
00:01:17,478 --> 00:01:19,055
She just moved to
the neighborhood.
25
00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:20,123
This is my brother Greg.
26
00:01:20,147 --> 00:01:21,358
I'm pleased to meet you.
27
00:01:21,382 --> 00:01:22,314
Likewise.
28
00:01:22,383 --> 00:01:24,903
Come on and meet everybody else.
29
00:01:29,623 --> 00:01:30,955
Hi.
30
00:01:46,390 --> 00:01:51,159
Kerry, I'd like you to meet my
mother and Cindy and Bobby.
31
00:01:51,228 --> 00:01:52,438
Hi. Hi.
32
00:01:52,462 --> 00:01:53,873
Hi, Kerry. Welcome
to the neighborhood.
33
00:01:53,897 --> 00:01:55,163
Thanks, Mrs. Brady.
34
00:01:55,232 --> 00:01:57,465
Would you girls like
something to eat?
35
00:01:57,534 --> 00:01:59,045
Well, I'm not really
hungry. Thank you.
36
00:01:59,069 --> 00:02:00,535
Me either.
37
00:02:00,604 --> 00:02:01,847
We're going to go up to my room
and do some homework, anyways.
38
00:02:01,871 --> 00:02:02,916
Good.
39
00:02:02,940 --> 00:02:04,339
It was nice meeting all of you.
40
00:02:04,407 --> 00:02:06,240
Wow!
41
00:02:06,309 --> 00:02:07,258
See you later.
42
00:02:07,327 --> 00:02:08,259
Okay, honey.
43
00:02:08,328 --> 00:02:09,544
Bye.
44
00:02:10,864 --> 00:02:12,775
Oh, Peter, this is my new
friend Kerry Hathaway.
45
00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:14,010
This is my brother Peter.
46
00:02:14,034 --> 00:02:15,333
Hi.
47
00:02:15,402 --> 00:02:17,418
Pleased to meet me.
48
00:02:47,051 --> 00:02:48,817
Jan, could I talk to you?
49
00:02:48,885 --> 00:02:50,630
Sure, but make it quick.
50
00:02:50,654 --> 00:02:52,632
I've got a lot of homework.
51
00:02:52,656 --> 00:02:56,124
Marcia, could we
have some privacy?
52
00:02:56,193 --> 00:02:58,827
Hey! Sounds pretty confidential.
53
00:02:58,895 --> 00:03:00,028
It is.
54
00:03:00,097 --> 00:03:02,130
Then, I wouldn't
dream of leaving.
55
00:03:02,199 --> 00:03:03,509
Come on, Peter, what is it?
56
00:03:03,533 --> 00:03:04,699
Marcia, please?
57
00:03:04,768 --> 00:03:07,030
Oh, come on, Pete. I
won't blab. I promise.
58
00:03:07,054 --> 00:03:09,621
Well, I guess it's okay.
59
00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:12,090
What it is is... is...
60
00:03:12,158 --> 00:03:16,378
well, it's sort of about
Kerry Hathaway.
61
00:03:16,447 --> 00:03:17,640
Who's Kerry Hathaway?
62
00:03:17,664 --> 00:03:18,863
She's my new classmate.
63
00:03:18,933 --> 00:03:20,198
What about her, Peter?
64
00:03:20,267 --> 00:03:22,400
Well, I was wondering if...
65
00:03:22,469 --> 00:03:27,672
you know, if she'd like to go to
a movie or something... with me?
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00:03:27,741 --> 00:03:28,657
How should I know?
67
00:03:28,725 --> 00:03:29,658
Why not ask her?
68
00:03:29,743 --> 00:03:31,126
What if she turns me down?
69
00:03:31,194 --> 00:03:32,805
Why would she turn you down?
70
00:03:32,829 --> 00:03:34,162
You're a nice guy.
71
00:03:34,230 --> 00:03:36,309
Yeah, all the girls at
school think you're cute.
72
00:03:36,333 --> 00:03:37,382
They do?
73
00:03:37,451 --> 00:03:38,511
Sure.
74
00:03:38,535 --> 00:03:40,263
You've got a great personality.
75
00:03:40,287 --> 00:03:41,298
You're lots of fun to be with.
76
00:03:41,322 --> 00:03:42,421
That's right.
77
00:03:42,489 --> 00:03:43,716
You're kind and very
considerate of people.
78
00:03:43,740 --> 00:03:45,724
Yeah, that's true, too.
79
00:03:45,793 --> 00:03:46,875
Well, go phone her.
80
00:03:46,943 --> 00:03:48,576
Her number's in
the book downstairs.
81
00:03:48,645 --> 00:03:51,179
Okay, I will.
82
00:03:52,632 --> 00:03:54,443
This is going to be the
most important phone call
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00:03:54,467 --> 00:03:58,053
I've ever made in
my whole entire life.
84
00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:06,579
Hello.
85
00:04:06,647 --> 00:04:07,679
Kerry?
86
00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:08,780
This is Kerry.
87
00:04:08,848 --> 00:04:10,114
Hi, this is Pete.
88
00:04:10,183 --> 00:04:11,683
Pete who?
89
00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:13,951
Peter Brady. You
met me this afternoon.
90
00:04:14,020 --> 00:04:15,520
I'm Jan's brother.
91
00:04:15,588 --> 00:04:16,755
Oh, you must be
92
00:04:16,824 --> 00:04:18,957
the cute little one
with the freckles.
93
00:04:19,026 --> 00:04:22,093
No, that's my brother Bobby.
94
00:04:22,162 --> 00:04:23,762
Oh!
95
00:04:23,830 --> 00:04:26,965
Then you're the groovy-looking
guy who was fixing the car.
96
00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:29,550
No, that's my brother Greg.
97
00:04:29,619 --> 00:04:31,102
Then which one are you?
98
00:04:31,171 --> 00:04:33,805
I'm the one who'd
better say good-bye.
99
00:04:33,874 --> 00:04:35,173
Good-bye.
100
00:04:42,682 --> 00:04:43,815
Hi, Dad.
101
00:04:43,884 --> 00:04:44,949
Hey!
102
00:04:45,019 --> 00:04:46,729
How come you're so dressed up?
103
00:04:46,753 --> 00:04:48,798
Trying to get
thrown out of school?
104
00:04:48,822 --> 00:04:50,588
I'm trying to sort of, you know,
105
00:04:50,657 --> 00:04:51,923
impress a certain girl
106
00:04:51,992 --> 00:04:53,291
and I was wondering...
107
00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:54,570
Yeah, wondering what?
108
00:04:54,594 --> 00:04:57,529
Dad, can I borrow
some after-shave lotion?
109
00:04:57,597 --> 00:04:58,930
Did you shave?
110
00:04:58,999 --> 00:05:00,098
Do you have to shave
111
00:05:00,167 --> 00:05:01,633
to use after-shave lotion?
112
00:05:02,769 --> 00:05:04,080
Come to think of it, no.
113
00:05:04,104 --> 00:05:06,383
I got just the thing
for you back here.
114
00:05:06,407 --> 00:05:08,073
She's really something special
115
00:05:08,142 --> 00:05:10,142
so I thought I'd
better look special
116
00:05:10,210 --> 00:05:11,510
and smell special, too.
117
00:05:11,578 --> 00:05:12,688
Now, listen, Peter.
118
00:05:12,712 --> 00:05:14,190
If you want to impress her
119
00:05:14,214 --> 00:05:15,925
you use just a little of this.
120
00:05:15,949 --> 00:05:17,215
How come just a little?
121
00:05:17,284 --> 00:05:19,529
Well, like it says in
the TV commercial,
122
00:05:19,553 --> 00:05:20,630
if you use a lot,
123
00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:22,332
you'll have to fight off women
124
00:05:22,356 --> 00:05:23,683
with a whip and a chair.
125
00:05:23,707 --> 00:05:25,740
Well, since I just met her,
126
00:05:25,809 --> 00:05:28,743
maybe I should
start slow and build.
127
00:05:28,812 --> 00:05:30,490
Yeah, that's good thinking.
128
00:05:30,514 --> 00:05:31,913
Hey, that smells good.
129
00:05:35,318 --> 00:05:38,052
Insurance.
130
00:06:00,344 --> 00:06:01,542
Kerry.
131
00:06:02,712 --> 00:06:03,957
Small world.
132
00:06:03,981 --> 00:06:05,013
Hi.
133
00:06:05,082 --> 00:06:06,392
Don't you recognize me?
134
00:06:06,416 --> 00:06:07,793
I'm Jan's brother Pete.
135
00:06:07,817 --> 00:06:08,817
Oh, I'm sorry.
136
00:06:08,885 --> 00:06:10,318
You must have been the boy
137
00:06:10,387 --> 00:06:11,652
who called last night.
138
00:06:11,721 --> 00:06:12,731
Yeah.
139
00:06:12,755 --> 00:06:14,722
I've met so many
new kids in school
140
00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:16,324
I can't keep them straight.
141
00:06:16,393 --> 00:06:17,519
That's okay.
142
00:06:23,533 --> 00:06:24,710
Oh... oh, yeah.
143
00:06:24,734 --> 00:06:26,034
After-shave lotion.
144
00:06:26,103 --> 00:06:27,346
You like it, huh?
145
00:06:27,370 --> 00:06:28,703
Do you shave?
146
00:06:28,772 --> 00:06:30,366
Oh, yeah, all the time.
147
00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:32,669
My dad and I use the same brand.
148
00:06:32,693 --> 00:06:34,425
Let me carry your books.
149
00:06:34,494 --> 00:06:37,011
That's okay, I can...
150
00:06:38,499 --> 00:06:39,981
Gee, I'm sorry.
151
00:06:40,050 --> 00:06:42,183
Let me wipe them off.
152
00:06:42,252 --> 00:06:43,552
Don't bother.
153
00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:45,420
I insist.
154
00:06:48,291 --> 00:06:49,757
Here, hold these.
155
00:06:49,826 --> 00:06:52,306
I'll get them real clean.
156
00:06:54,664 --> 00:06:56,281
Wow.
157
00:06:59,670 --> 00:07:01,570
Stop it!
158
00:07:01,638 --> 00:07:04,356
Now look what you've done!
159
00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:09,427
Can't I do anything right?
160
00:07:12,532 --> 00:07:13,998
Hi, honey, I'm home!
161
00:07:14,067 --> 00:07:15,333
Hi!
162
00:07:19,039 --> 00:07:21,117
Gosh, hey, that's
some special kiss.
163
00:07:21,141 --> 00:07:22,707
Yeah, I'm glad you liked it.
164
00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:25,176
Yeah, I did... Uh-oh, you've got
165
00:07:25,245 --> 00:07:26,889
something to tell me, don't you?
166
00:07:26,913 --> 00:07:29,213
Yeah, guess where
we're going Friday night.
167
00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:30,326
Um, the new play.
168
00:07:30,350 --> 00:07:31,393
You got tickets?
169
00:07:31,417 --> 00:07:33,685
I've got tickets... Hey, great.
170
00:07:33,754 --> 00:07:34,986
But not to the play.
171
00:07:35,055 --> 00:07:37,355
I have tickets to that
modern art show I mentioned.
172
00:07:37,423 --> 00:07:38,467
Oh, honey, come on!
173
00:07:38,491 --> 00:07:39,724
Not another show
174
00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:42,005
where soup cans
crushed wins first prize.
175
00:07:42,029 --> 00:07:43,895
Oh, Mike, I had
to buy the tickets.
176
00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:44,964
It's for charity.
177
00:07:45,032 --> 00:07:46,175
Couldn't we stay home
178
00:07:46,199 --> 00:07:47,777
and crush our own soup cans?
179
00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:49,701
Oh, Mike, they'll
be expecting us.
180
00:07:51,138 --> 00:07:52,414
Hi, Peter. Hi, Pete.
181
00:07:52,438 --> 00:07:53,683
Hi.
182
00:07:53,707 --> 00:07:55,051
Hey, what's the matter?
183
00:07:55,075 --> 00:07:56,819
Didn't the shaving lotion work?
184
00:07:56,843 --> 00:07:57,909
Oh, it smelled okay,
185
00:07:57,978 --> 00:07:59,288
but I sure stunk it up.
186
00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:00,773
I can't even talk to her!
187
00:08:00,797 --> 00:08:01,974
Now, wait a minute.
188
00:08:01,998 --> 00:08:03,909
Don't get uptight
about it, listen.
189
00:08:03,933 --> 00:08:05,911
Do you know that
when I was your age,
190
00:08:05,935 --> 00:08:07,880
I had exactly the same
problem with a girl.
191
00:08:07,904 --> 00:08:08,837
You did?
192
00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:11,339
Yes, I did... Polly Ledbetter.
193
00:08:11,407 --> 00:08:12,507
Polly Ledbetter!
194
00:08:12,576 --> 00:08:14,186
That was her name.
195
00:08:14,210 --> 00:08:16,038
And every time I got
within ten feet of that girl,
196
00:08:16,062 --> 00:08:17,173
I got a knot in my tongue
197
00:08:17,197 --> 00:08:18,757
I could have won
a merit badge with.
198
00:08:18,781 --> 00:08:20,248
What'd you do about it?
199
00:08:20,317 --> 00:08:23,134
Well, I just figured if I
couldn't say what I wanted to,
200
00:08:23,203 --> 00:08:24,647
I could always
write it, you see?
201
00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:26,037
So I wrote her a letter.
202
00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:28,489
A letter, huh?
203
00:08:28,558 --> 00:08:30,736
Uh-huh, that way you
know you can take your time
204
00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:32,654
and think about what
you're going to say.
205
00:08:32,678 --> 00:08:33,845
That's a great idea!
206
00:08:33,914 --> 00:08:34,914
Thanks, Dad.
207
00:08:34,981 --> 00:08:36,414
Sure.
208
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:54,699
What are you doing?
209
00:08:54,768 --> 00:08:56,167
Trying to write a letter
210
00:08:56,236 --> 00:08:57,602
or start a paper drive?
211
00:08:57,670 --> 00:08:59,882
It's a tough letter
to write, Alice.
212
00:08:59,906 --> 00:09:01,851
I don't want it to sound corny.
213
00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:03,674
Well, want to try it out on me?
214
00:09:03,744 --> 00:09:05,176
Okay.
215
00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:08,747
"Dear Kerry..."
216
00:09:08,815 --> 00:09:09,914
Yeah?
217
00:09:09,983 --> 00:09:11,094
That's it.
218
00:09:11,118 --> 00:09:12,528
That's where I get stuck.
219
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:13,552
Oh!
220
00:09:13,620 --> 00:09:14,719
Oh, yeah, well...
221
00:09:14,788 --> 00:09:17,021
that first line is
always the toughest.
222
00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:18,851
I just don't know what to say.
223
00:09:18,875 --> 00:09:21,326
Why don't you try
something poetic like,
224
00:09:21,395 --> 00:09:23,361
"How do I love thee?
225
00:09:23,430 --> 00:09:25,730
Let me count the ways."
226
00:09:25,799 --> 00:09:28,583
Great... give it
to me again, slow.
227
00:09:28,652 --> 00:09:32,003
"How do I love thee?"
228
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:38,909
Jan. Hi.
229
00:09:38,978 --> 00:09:39,978
What did she say?
230
00:09:40,046 --> 00:09:41,046
Who?
231
00:09:41,114 --> 00:09:42,158
Kerry Hathaway.
What did she say?
232
00:09:42,182 --> 00:09:43,226
About what?
233
00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:44,482
About me.
234
00:09:44,551 --> 00:09:45,561
Peter, we've got a
communication gap going.
235
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:46,484
What are you talking about?
236
00:09:46,553 --> 00:09:47,718
I wrote Kerry a letter
237
00:09:47,787 --> 00:09:49,621
and I slipped it
into her locker.
238
00:09:49,689 --> 00:09:51,789
I want to know what
she said about it.
239
00:09:51,858 --> 00:09:53,636
Oh, was it a gooey love letter?
240
00:09:53,660 --> 00:09:54,959
Yeah, did she mention it?
241
00:09:55,028 --> 00:09:56,071
She mentioned it.
242
00:09:56,095 --> 00:09:57,362
Well, what'd she say?
243
00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:59,509
She said it was
beautifully written.
244
00:09:59,533 --> 00:10:00,533
Yeah?
245
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,245
Super poetic and fantastic.
246
00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:03,651
What else did she say?
247
00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:07,889
That the dumb-dumb who
wrote it forgot to sign his name.
248
00:10:07,958 --> 00:10:09,607
Oh, no!
249
00:10:09,675 --> 00:10:11,942
How could I be so stupid?
250
00:10:12,011 --> 00:10:14,292
You must practice a lot.
251
00:10:16,683 --> 00:10:19,517
It's the perfect plan and
you're the perfect guy.
252
00:10:19,585 --> 00:10:21,152
No way, Pete. No way.
253
00:10:21,220 --> 00:10:23,070
Where'd you get this weird idea?
254
00:10:23,139 --> 00:10:25,756
From this copy of
Cyrano de Bergerac.
255
00:10:25,825 --> 00:10:27,069
Marcia put me on to it.
256
00:10:27,093 --> 00:10:28,153
It's great.
257
00:10:28,177 --> 00:10:29,955
It's about this guy
with a big nose
258
00:10:29,979 --> 00:10:32,480
and he's in love with
this girl named Roxanne.
259
00:10:32,549 --> 00:10:33,814
Peter, I know the story.
260
00:10:33,883 --> 00:10:34,943
He's shy, see.
261
00:10:34,967 --> 00:10:36,479
So he hides in some bushes
262
00:10:36,503 --> 00:10:38,614
and has this other
guy say to her...
263
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:40,004
I said I know the story.
264
00:10:40,073 --> 00:10:41,650
All I'm asking you to do is
265
00:10:41,674 --> 00:10:43,652
hide in the bushes
like Cyrano did
266
00:10:43,676 --> 00:10:46,196
and you feed me the right words.
267
00:10:47,113 --> 00:10:49,726
When it comes to
smooth talking the girls,
268
00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:52,044
everybody says
you're the greatest.
269
00:10:52,068 --> 00:10:53,801
Yeah? Everybody says that?
270
00:10:53,870 --> 00:10:54,980
Everybody.
271
00:10:55,004 --> 00:10:56,716
They call you "Old
Silver Tongue."
272
00:10:56,740 --> 00:10:57,806
They do?
273
00:10:57,874 --> 00:10:59,518
Why, you're a legend
in your own time.
274
00:10:59,542 --> 00:11:01,042
How about that?
275
00:11:01,110 --> 00:11:03,511
I really need help
from an expert like you.
276
00:11:03,579 --> 00:11:05,930
Well, okay, we'll try it.
277
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:07,399
If Cyrano could do it,
278
00:11:07,467 --> 00:11:09,434
so can "Old Silver Tongue."
279
00:11:15,142 --> 00:11:16,752
That's the one.
280
00:11:16,776 --> 00:11:18,154
That's it?
281
00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:19,411
Okay.
282
00:11:19,479 --> 00:11:20,878
Hide back here.
283
00:11:20,947 --> 00:11:22,392
You're sure I look okay?
284
00:11:22,416 --> 00:11:23,681
Peter, you look fine.
285
00:11:23,750 --> 00:11:24,827
My hair?
286
00:11:24,851 --> 00:11:26,195
Does my hair look okay?
287
00:11:26,219 --> 00:11:28,886
After 20 minutes
with Mom's hairdryer
288
00:11:28,955 --> 00:11:30,221
you couldn't look any better.
289
00:11:30,290 --> 00:11:32,084
Good. You're sure you thought up
290
00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:33,791
some real poetic stuff?
291
00:11:33,859 --> 00:11:35,826
My stuff is better
than Cyrano's.
292
00:11:35,896 --> 00:11:37,846
Remember your first line?
293
00:11:37,914 --> 00:11:38,914
Yeah.
294
00:11:38,982 --> 00:11:41,349
Well, here goes.
295
00:11:53,596 --> 00:11:55,112
Hello, lovely one.
296
00:11:56,816 --> 00:11:59,033
Peter? Is that you?
297
00:11:59,101 --> 00:12:01,352
Yeah, could I talk
to you? It's important.
298
00:12:01,421 --> 00:12:02,453
I guess so.
299
00:12:02,522 --> 00:12:04,355
Come around to the front.
300
00:12:04,424 --> 00:12:06,040
No, wait.
301
00:12:06,109 --> 00:12:09,605
I... I want to see you here
302
00:12:09,629 --> 00:12:12,863
where your lovely hair
outshines the moonbeams.
303
00:12:12,932 --> 00:12:14,715
I want to see you here,
304
00:12:14,784 --> 00:12:18,052
where your lovely hair
outshines the moonbeams.
305
00:12:18,121 --> 00:12:20,555
Peter, are you feeling okay?
306
00:12:20,623 --> 00:12:22,235
How could I feel otherwise
307
00:12:22,259 --> 00:12:25,376
when I'm so close
to your beauty?
308
00:12:25,444 --> 00:12:29,447
How could I feel otherwise
when I'm so close to your beauty?
309
00:12:29,516 --> 00:12:32,166
I've never seen you
act like this before.
310
00:12:32,235 --> 00:12:33,617
I'm not acting.
311
00:12:33,686 --> 00:12:34,747
It's true love
312
00:12:34,771 --> 00:12:36,532
from the first time I saw you.
313
00:12:36,556 --> 00:12:37,822
I'm not acting.
314
00:12:37,890 --> 00:12:40,859
It's true love from the
first time I saw you.
315
00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:43,944
Peter, why are you standing
all the way over there?
316
00:12:44,013 --> 00:12:46,063
Why am I standing over here?
317
00:12:46,132 --> 00:12:48,227
Distance lends enchantment.
318
00:12:48,251 --> 00:12:50,634
Distance lends enchantment.
319
00:12:50,703 --> 00:12:53,587
What in the world is
going on out there?
320
00:12:53,656 --> 00:12:56,156
Just take what I have to offer:
321
00:12:56,226 --> 00:13:00,177
The rainbows, the
sunlight, my life, the world!
322
00:13:00,246 --> 00:13:03,898
Take my rainbows and sun life.
323
00:13:03,967 --> 00:13:05,749
That's not what I said.
324
00:13:05,818 --> 00:13:07,785
The sunlight, rain and...
325
00:13:07,854 --> 00:13:10,722
For crying out
loud, will ya listen?
326
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:16,076
She's gone!
327
00:13:16,145 --> 00:13:18,962
I blew it again.
328
00:13:19,031 --> 00:13:21,098
Peter, what's going on out here?
329
00:13:21,167 --> 00:13:23,687
Uh... hello, lovely one.
330
00:13:24,737 --> 00:13:28,473
Greg, what are you doing here?
331
00:13:28,541 --> 00:13:32,121
Well, he just... I can
explain everything.
332
00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:33,711
Yeah, he can explain.
333
00:13:33,779 --> 00:13:37,965
No, you don't have to explain.
334
00:13:38,033 --> 00:13:40,262
I understand everything now.
335
00:13:40,286 --> 00:13:44,021
Oh, it's just like Cyrano!
336
00:13:44,090 --> 00:13:46,373
Don't be shy, Greg.
337
00:13:46,442 --> 00:13:50,978
You don't have to use
Peter to speak for you.
338
00:13:53,199 --> 00:13:54,598
P-Peter!
339
00:14:02,508 --> 00:14:04,987
Honey, I forgot
to show you this.
340
00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:06,343
Yeah? What is it?
341
00:14:06,413 --> 00:14:08,090
It's the brochure for
the art show Friday night.
342
00:14:08,114 --> 00:14:10,058
I thought you'd like to
see some of the paintings
343
00:14:10,082 --> 00:14:11,560
that are going to be exhibited.
344
00:14:11,584 --> 00:14:13,284
Ha! Sure those are paintings?
345
00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:15,286
It looks more like a tablecloth
346
00:14:15,354 --> 00:14:17,021
after a spaghetti festival.
347
00:14:17,090 --> 00:14:19,273
Boy, do I have a
rat for a brother!
348
00:14:19,342 --> 00:14:20,803
Wait a minute. What's
the matter with you?
349
00:14:20,827 --> 00:14:22,271
Greg just hijacked my girl.
350
00:14:22,295 --> 00:14:24,095
Huh? What do you mean?
351
00:14:24,163 --> 00:14:26,681
He was supposed to help
me impress Kerry, not himself.
352
00:14:26,750 --> 00:14:27,915
She's flipped over him!
353
00:14:27,984 --> 00:14:29,801
Well, where's Greg?
354
00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:32,303
With Kerry... She was
hanging all over him.
355
00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:33,738
Well, what'd you do about it?
356
00:14:33,807 --> 00:14:34,856
I left.
357
00:14:34,924 --> 00:14:36,619
What should I do? Take pictures?
358
00:14:36,643 --> 00:14:37,643
Thanks for splitting
359
00:14:37,694 --> 00:14:39,226
and leaving me
stuck with your girl.
360
00:14:39,295 --> 00:14:41,173
Oh, you really looked
like you were in pain.
361
00:14:41,197 --> 00:14:43,664
Thanks for stealing Kerry.
362
00:14:43,733 --> 00:14:45,532
I didn't steal her!
363
00:14:45,601 --> 00:14:47,412
Oh, then you just borrowed
her without permission.
364
00:14:47,436 --> 00:14:49,048
Hold it, you two.
Now, wait a minute.
365
00:14:49,072 --> 00:14:50,254
Greg, what happened?
366
00:14:50,323 --> 00:14:52,363
Dad, the whole thing
was a big mistake.
367
00:14:52,425 --> 00:14:53,691
I tried to straighten it out,
368
00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:55,638
but Kerry wouldn't
listen to a word I said.
369
00:14:55,662 --> 00:14:57,078
I bet you did.
370
00:14:57,146 --> 00:14:59,046
Look, pal, I can't help it...
371
00:14:59,115 --> 00:15:00,181
Oh, forget about it.
372
00:15:00,249 --> 00:15:02,016
Good night, Mom, night, Dad.
373
00:15:02,085 --> 00:15:03,429
Good night, Greg. Good night.
374
00:15:03,453 --> 00:15:06,254
Peter, wait a
minute, wait a minute.
375
00:15:06,322 --> 00:15:09,289
You know, a guy can't
always get a girl to like him.
376
00:15:09,359 --> 00:15:12,226
Maybe you ought to
forget about this girl for now.
377
00:15:12,294 --> 00:15:15,096
Honey, there are a lot
of other fish in the sea.
378
00:15:15,164 --> 00:15:18,065
I know... but I got
Moby Dick for a brother.
379
00:15:18,134 --> 00:15:20,400
Good night, Mom,
good night, Dad.
380
00:15:23,405 --> 00:15:25,885
And I'd say we needed
two pounds of rice.
381
00:15:25,942 --> 00:15:27,319
Two pounds of
rice. Is that it, Alice?
382
00:15:27,343 --> 00:15:28,854
Except for some cake mix.
383
00:15:28,878 --> 00:15:31,511
I thought I'd make
Peter a nice, gooey cake
384
00:15:31,580 --> 00:15:34,514
to help glue back together
his poor broken heart.
385
00:15:34,583 --> 00:15:37,485
Alice, you're the "Dear
Abby" of the kitchen.
386
00:15:37,554 --> 00:15:39,453
Hi, Mom, hi, Alice.
387
00:15:39,522 --> 00:15:41,756
Hi, sweetheart.
388
00:15:41,824 --> 00:15:43,068
How was school today?
389
00:15:43,092 --> 00:15:44,759
It was better in the afternoon
390
00:15:44,827 --> 00:15:46,326
than it was in the morning.
391
00:15:46,395 --> 00:15:47,606
Oh? Why is that?
392
00:15:47,630 --> 00:15:50,247
I get out in the afternoon.
393
00:15:50,316 --> 00:15:52,876
Has anybody seen
my blue sweater?
394
00:15:52,935 --> 00:15:55,002
Not since I washed it.
395
00:15:55,071 --> 00:15:56,370
Oh, I know where it is.
396
00:15:56,438 --> 00:15:57,549
Where?
397
00:15:57,573 --> 00:15:59,373
Jan lent it to Kerry Hathaway.
398
00:15:59,441 --> 00:16:00,685
Kerry? What for?
399
00:16:00,709 --> 00:16:01,976
For measurements.
400
00:16:02,044 --> 00:16:03,844
Kerry's knitting you a new one.
401
00:16:03,913 --> 00:16:05,124
It's supposed to be a surprise.
402
00:16:05,148 --> 00:16:06,280
Not anymore.
403
00:16:06,348 --> 00:16:07,559
Say, I almost forgot.
404
00:16:07,583 --> 00:16:10,217
Kerry dropped by
and left this for you.
405
00:16:10,286 --> 00:16:11,652
Homemade fudge.
406
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:13,698
Oh, this is really
getting to bug me.
407
00:16:13,722 --> 00:16:16,168
I got to do something
about that girl.
408
00:16:16,192 --> 00:16:18,225
If you don't like her anymore,
409
00:16:18,294 --> 00:16:19,744
can I have the fudge?
410
00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:24,415
Neat, huh?
411
00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:26,417
You're lucky you're
young, Bobby.
412
00:16:30,523 --> 00:16:33,291
I think it just
needs new brushes.
413
00:16:33,359 --> 00:16:35,125
Stay away from women, kid.
414
00:16:35,195 --> 00:16:37,628
They'll break your
heart every time.
415
00:16:37,697 --> 00:16:39,542
What are you talking about?
416
00:16:39,566 --> 00:16:41,399
You're too young to understand.
417
00:16:41,467 --> 00:16:43,279
Peter... Pete...
418
00:16:43,303 --> 00:16:44,780
Pete, I got a
great idea for you.
419
00:16:44,804 --> 00:16:46,704
If it's about joining
the Foreign Legion
420
00:16:46,772 --> 00:16:48,372
I've already thought about it.
421
00:16:48,441 --> 00:16:50,553
How would you like
to get Kerry back?
422
00:16:50,577 --> 00:16:51,720
Now, listen...
423
00:16:51,744 --> 00:16:53,844
I don't trust you.
You stole my girl.
424
00:16:53,913 --> 00:16:55,291
I didn't steal your girl!
425
00:16:55,315 --> 00:16:56,380
You did!
426
00:16:56,449 --> 00:16:57,726
If you guys are
starting that again,
427
00:16:57,750 --> 00:16:59,061
I'm getting out of here.
428
00:16:59,085 --> 00:17:00,095
Pete, listen, listen...
429
00:17:00,119 --> 00:17:02,553
you got to trust me, please.
430
00:17:02,622 --> 00:17:03,765
Well... okay.
431
00:17:03,789 --> 00:17:05,033
But not around Kerry.
432
00:17:05,057 --> 00:17:06,156
I won't go near her.
433
00:17:06,226 --> 00:17:07,458
Jan will.
434
00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:08,527
Jan?
435
00:17:08,561 --> 00:17:09,927
Jan's going to tell Kerry
436
00:17:09,996 --> 00:17:11,528
that nobody trusts me...
437
00:17:11,598 --> 00:17:14,431
That I'm a no-good,
double-crossing, two-timing rat.
438
00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:16,462
Oh. You mean she's
going to tell her the truth.
439
00:17:16,486 --> 00:17:17,668
Yeah!
440
00:17:17,736 --> 00:17:18,986
No... what I mean is
441
00:17:19,054 --> 00:17:21,455
after Kerry's convinced
that I'm a rat fink,
442
00:17:21,524 --> 00:17:23,974
Jan'll tell her what
a great guy you are.
443
00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:25,826
She will? Sure.
444
00:17:25,895 --> 00:17:28,646
And Kerry will turn off
of me and turn on to you.
445
00:17:28,714 --> 00:17:31,749
Hey, yeah, that's a great idea.
446
00:17:31,817 --> 00:17:33,017
You're a pretty nice brother
447
00:17:33,085 --> 00:17:35,686
for a no-good,
double-crossing, two-timing rat.
448
00:17:39,542 --> 00:17:40,908
Hi, Jan.
449
00:17:40,977 --> 00:17:42,143
Hi, Greg.
450
00:17:42,211 --> 00:17:43,822
Well, when does Pete take over?
451
00:17:43,846 --> 00:17:44,779
How does "never" sound?
452
00:17:44,847 --> 00:17:46,191
Never? What went wrong?
453
00:17:46,215 --> 00:17:48,582
Kerry's going to save you
454
00:17:48,651 --> 00:17:49,984
from your horrible self.
455
00:17:50,053 --> 00:17:51,552
She's going to change you.
456
00:17:51,620 --> 00:17:53,498
Terrific. Did you
tell her everything?
457
00:17:53,522 --> 00:17:54,655
Everything.
458
00:17:54,724 --> 00:17:55,890
I don't understand it...
459
00:17:55,958 --> 00:17:57,174
unless she didn't believe me.
460
00:17:57,242 --> 00:17:59,977
Hey, wait... Maybe
that's the trouble.
461
00:18:00,045 --> 00:18:02,647
Maybe she didn't believe you.
462
00:18:02,715 --> 00:18:05,082
Maybe she has to be
shown that I'm a rat fink.
463
00:18:05,151 --> 00:18:06,584
But how you going to show her?
464
00:18:06,652 --> 00:18:10,120
That's a good question.
465
00:18:10,189 --> 00:18:11,922
I think I've got a good answer.
466
00:18:11,991 --> 00:18:13,852
Mom and Dad are going to
the art show tonight, right?
467
00:18:13,876 --> 00:18:15,042
So?
468
00:18:15,110 --> 00:18:16,321
Could you get Peter
out of the house?
469
00:18:16,345 --> 00:18:18,311
I guess so. What
are you going to do?
470
00:18:18,380 --> 00:18:19,547
I'll explain later.
471
00:18:19,615 --> 00:18:21,215
Now for the other woman.
472
00:18:21,284 --> 00:18:22,466
What other woman?
473
00:18:22,535 --> 00:18:23,951
Has Kerry ever met Marcia?
474
00:18:24,019 --> 00:18:25,652
No. What other woman?
475
00:18:25,721 --> 00:18:28,722
Great. I'll invite
Kerry over tonight.
476
00:18:28,791 --> 00:18:31,475
What other woman?!
477
00:18:33,796 --> 00:18:36,225
When you put on this
wig and some dark glasses
478
00:18:36,249 --> 00:18:37,993
Kerry will never
know who you are.
479
00:18:38,017 --> 00:18:39,583
I'm not sure Kerry ever saw me.
480
00:18:39,652 --> 00:18:42,519
We can't take any chances;
it's too important to Peter.
481
00:18:42,588 --> 00:18:45,422
Right. Okay. Exit Marcia Brady.
482
00:18:45,491 --> 00:18:47,558
Enter the other woman.
483
00:19:30,570 --> 00:19:31,902
Hi, doll.
484
00:19:31,971 --> 00:19:33,170
Hi.
485
00:19:33,238 --> 00:19:34,983
Thanks for inviting me over.
486
00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:37,775
Well, I believe in
spreading myself around.
487
00:19:37,843 --> 00:19:39,209
Super outfit.
488
00:19:39,278 --> 00:19:43,013
Oh, these are my
working threads.
489
00:19:45,150 --> 00:19:46,430
Know what I mean?
490
00:19:48,153 --> 00:19:49,853
Where's everybody else?
491
00:19:49,922 --> 00:19:51,288
Out.
492
00:19:51,356 --> 00:19:52,957
We're all alone, kid.
493
00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:54,491
Groovy?
494
00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:56,159
Sit down.
495
00:19:58,998 --> 00:20:01,732
Now, I'd like to get
a few things straight.
496
00:20:01,801 --> 00:20:04,201
The way I see it,
you're crazy about me
497
00:20:04,269 --> 00:20:06,381
and you want to
go steady, right?
498
00:20:06,405 --> 00:20:07,855
Well...
499
00:20:07,923 --> 00:20:10,557
Well, I got a couple
rules you got to dig.
500
00:20:10,626 --> 00:20:11,758
Rules?
501
00:20:11,827 --> 00:20:14,056
Rule one: you go
out only with me.
502
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:15,980
Oh, I like that.
503
00:20:16,049 --> 00:20:19,817
Rule two: I go out
with whoever I want.
504
00:20:19,886 --> 00:20:21,419
That doesn't sound fair.
505
00:20:21,487 --> 00:20:25,323
What do you want, fair or me?
506
00:20:25,391 --> 00:20:26,657
Well...
507
00:20:29,645 --> 00:20:31,757
Now, let me tell
you about rule three.
508
00:20:31,781 --> 00:20:33,547
C-could we go back to rule two?
509
00:20:37,003 --> 00:20:38,046
Don't move.
510
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:39,487
I'll be right back.
511
00:20:50,683 --> 00:20:53,184
Debbie, not you again!
512
00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:57,054
Greg, I have to talk to you.
513
00:21:02,495 --> 00:21:03,527
I might have known
514
00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:04,974
I'd find another woman here.
515
00:21:04,998 --> 00:21:08,482
Well, you caught
me at a bad time.
516
00:21:08,551 --> 00:21:10,751
I usually have three or four.
517
00:21:12,305 --> 00:21:15,272
Greg, you've got
to take me back.
518
00:21:15,341 --> 00:21:17,541
Give me one more chance.
519
00:21:17,609 --> 00:21:19,704
I'll do anything you say.
520
00:21:19,728 --> 00:21:21,061
No way.
521
00:21:21,130 --> 00:21:22,963
Debbie, you bore me.
522
00:21:23,032 --> 00:21:26,400
I'll change. I promise.
523
00:21:26,469 --> 00:21:29,486
Greg, maybe I should go.
524
00:21:29,555 --> 00:21:31,088
Nah.
525
00:21:31,157 --> 00:21:33,958
Stick around, kid.
Watch me throw her out.
526
00:21:34,027 --> 00:21:35,526
Come on, loser.
527
00:21:35,594 --> 00:21:38,607
Greg, if you drop me, I
don't know what I'll do.
528
00:21:38,631 --> 00:21:40,564
I said out!
529
00:21:40,633 --> 00:21:43,100
If that's art, I'm Michelangelo.
530
00:21:43,169 --> 00:21:45,569
Oh, honey, stop complaining.
531
00:21:48,775 --> 00:21:50,041
What is it, Alice?
532
00:21:50,109 --> 00:21:51,219
Well, I'm not sure,
533
00:21:51,243 --> 00:21:52,521
but I think they're rehearsing
534
00:21:52,545 --> 00:21:53,622
a teenage soap opera.
535
00:21:53,646 --> 00:21:55,612
Greg!
536
00:21:55,681 --> 00:21:57,659
How can you treat her like this?
537
00:21:57,683 --> 00:21:59,933
Out with the old
and in with the new.
538
00:22:00,002 --> 00:22:01,980
But this girl loves you!
539
00:22:02,004 --> 00:22:05,723
Oh, yes... I do, I do, I do.
540
00:22:05,791 --> 00:22:07,852
Listen, if you don't like
it, you can leave, too.
541
00:22:07,876 --> 00:22:12,146
Greg Brady, you're
even worse than Jan said.
542
00:22:13,516 --> 00:22:16,317
I never want to see you again.
543
00:22:16,385 --> 00:22:18,347
You were right, Alice,
it is a soap opera.
544
00:22:18,371 --> 00:22:20,070
Come on, Debbie.
545
00:22:21,307 --> 00:22:22,373
What's going on?
546
00:22:22,441 --> 00:22:23,707
Uh... Peter...
547
00:22:23,776 --> 00:22:26,627
Peter, you're supposed
to be at the library.
548
00:22:26,696 --> 00:22:28,028
I was.
549
00:22:28,096 --> 00:22:30,309
Marcia, what are
you doing in that wig?
550
00:22:30,333 --> 00:22:32,549
I'm not Marcia!
I'm... She's Debbie.
551
00:22:32,618 --> 00:22:34,168
She's Debbie... I'm Debbie.
552
00:22:34,236 --> 00:22:36,369
Something funny's going on.
553
00:22:36,438 --> 00:22:38,449
You mean something phony.
554
00:22:38,473 --> 00:22:41,975
That's my sister in a wig.
555
00:22:42,044 --> 00:22:43,877
Your sister?!
556
00:22:47,649 --> 00:22:49,127
What's this all about?
557
00:22:50,486 --> 00:22:52,231
We were trying to convince Kerry
558
00:22:52,255 --> 00:22:53,465
that I was a rat fink.
559
00:22:53,489 --> 00:22:55,172
That's really dirty,
560
00:22:55,241 --> 00:22:57,408
playing a trick like
this on her when she
561
00:22:57,477 --> 00:22:58,859
really cares about you.
562
00:22:58,928 --> 00:23:00,161
We're sorry, Kerry.
563
00:23:00,229 --> 00:23:02,746
If a girl as wonderful
as Kerry was my girl
564
00:23:02,815 --> 00:23:04,975
you know how I'd treat her?
565
00:23:05,735 --> 00:23:09,754
I'd... You'd what, Peter?
566
00:23:11,357 --> 00:23:13,917
I'd treat her like a queen.
567
00:23:15,328 --> 00:23:19,063
Peter, could I ask a favor?
568
00:23:19,132 --> 00:23:21,572
Mmm... anything.
569
00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:23,234
Would you walk me home?
570
00:23:25,438 --> 00:23:29,005
Wow! Would I.
571
00:23:36,548 --> 00:23:38,943
For a minute there,
I thought we blew it.
572
00:23:38,967 --> 00:23:41,902
Mom, Dad.
573
00:23:41,970 --> 00:23:45,272
I guess we should explain.
574
00:23:45,341 --> 00:23:47,207
Well, I think we understand.
575
00:23:47,276 --> 00:23:48,409
Good night, kids.
576
00:23:48,477 --> 00:23:49,776
Good night.
577
00:23:49,845 --> 00:23:50,977
Good night, Greg.
578
00:23:51,047 --> 00:23:52,479
Good night, Debbie.
579
00:24:03,542 --> 00:24:05,993
I really didn't have
any dessert last night,
580
00:24:06,062 --> 00:24:07,845
so I think I'd better have two.
581
00:24:07,913 --> 00:24:09,229
Two donuts?
582
00:24:09,298 --> 00:24:11,632
They give you lots
of energy, Mom.
583
00:24:11,700 --> 00:24:14,067
They give you lots
of energy, Mom.
584
00:24:14,136 --> 00:24:17,370
And with lots of energy,
you do more homework.
585
00:24:17,439 --> 00:24:20,023
And with lots of energy,
you can do more homework.
586
00:24:20,092 --> 00:24:23,043
When you do more homework,
you can get better grades in school.
587
00:24:23,112 --> 00:24:24,578
And when you do more homework,
588
00:24:24,646 --> 00:24:26,780
you can get better
grades in school.
589
00:24:26,848 --> 00:24:29,416
Well, that's a pretty
convincing argument.
590
00:24:29,485 --> 00:24:32,953
Okay, here are two donuts.
591
00:24:33,021 --> 00:24:36,756
One for you and
one for your Cyrano.
592
00:24:39,428 --> 00:24:40,994
Well, we figured
593
00:24:41,063 --> 00:24:42,729
maybe if it worked for girls,
594
00:24:42,798 --> 00:24:44,831
it'd work for donuts, too.
595
00:24:44,900 --> 00:24:46,400
Want a bite?
37041
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