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♪ Here's the story ♪
2
00:00:12,496 --> 00:00:14,429
♪ Of a lovely lady ♪
3
00:00:14,465 --> 00:00:15,797
♪ Who was bringing up ♪
4
00:00:15,832 --> 00:00:18,266
♪ Three very lovely girls ♪
5
00:00:18,302 --> 00:00:21,036
♪ All of them had hair of gold ♪
6
00:00:21,071 --> 00:00:22,937
♪ Like their mother ♪
7
00:00:22,973 --> 00:00:26,008
♪ The youngest one in curls ♪
8
00:00:26,043 --> 00:00:30,045
♪ It's the story of a
man named Brady ♪
9
00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:33,948
♪ Who was busy with
three boys of his own ♪
10
00:00:33,984 --> 00:00:37,719
♪ They were four
men living all together ♪
11
00:00:37,754 --> 00:00:40,389
♪ Yet they were all alone ♪
12
00:00:40,424 --> 00:00:41,890
♪ Till the one day when ♪
13
00:00:41,925 --> 00:00:44,526
♪ The lady met this fellow ♪
14
00:00:44,561 --> 00:00:48,063
♪ And they knew that it was
much more than a hunch ♪
15
00:00:48,098 --> 00:00:49,531
♪ That this group ♪
16
00:00:49,566 --> 00:00:51,933
♪ Must somehow form a family ♪
17
00:00:51,968 --> 00:00:55,570
♪ That's the way they all
became the Brady Bunch ♪
18
00:00:55,605 --> 00:00:57,906
♪ The Brady Bunch ♪
19
00:00:57,941 --> 00:01:00,175
♪ The Brady Bunch ♪
20
00:01:00,210 --> 00:01:06,081
♪ That's the way they
became the Brady Bunch. ♪
21
00:01:27,604 --> 00:01:29,471
Mm, thanks, Alice.
22
00:01:39,483 --> 00:01:44,018
Ladies, I would like
to propose a toast.
23
00:01:44,054 --> 00:01:47,422
To the successful launch
of Project Brady Bunch.
24
00:01:47,458 --> 00:01:49,357
Six happy kids,
two lucky parents
25
00:01:49,393 --> 00:01:50,992
and an interested bystander.
26
00:01:51,027 --> 00:01:51,659
Hear! Hear!
27
00:01:51,695 --> 00:01:52,860
And with all due respect,
28
00:01:52,896 --> 00:01:54,262
according to my calculations,
29
00:01:54,298 --> 00:01:56,531
you've only just blasted
off the launching pad.
30
00:01:56,567 --> 00:01:58,644
Yes, but we're
off to a good start.
31
00:01:58,668 --> 00:02:01,136
Oh, yes, ma'am, I only
meant to say it'll take time.
32
00:02:01,171 --> 00:02:02,137
Lots of it.
33
00:02:02,172 --> 00:02:04,606
Look how smoothly
things have gone so far.
34
00:02:04,641 --> 00:02:06,652
Why, this place
is like a paradise.
35
00:02:06,676 --> 00:02:09,077
Come here. I want to
show you something.
36
00:02:14,684 --> 00:02:16,418
Look at that.
37
00:02:20,290 --> 00:02:23,325
See? They're getting
along just great.
38
00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:25,994
Just like she said... paradise.
39
00:02:44,014 --> 00:02:48,183
Half of six-four
is... Three-two.
40
00:02:48,218 --> 00:02:49,584
I like to be fair.
41
00:02:49,620 --> 00:02:52,198
Now, everything to the
left of the shoe is hers.
42
00:02:52,222 --> 00:02:54,200
Everything to the
right is his: 50-50.
43
00:02:54,224 --> 00:02:56,658
Hmm... 51-49.
44
00:02:56,693 --> 00:02:58,793
There. 50-50.
45
00:02:58,828 --> 00:03:00,195
There.
46
00:03:00,230 --> 00:03:02,108
We used to have plenty
of space around here
47
00:03:02,132 --> 00:03:04,076
till all these cartons
arrived from storage.
48
00:03:04,100 --> 00:03:07,202
Well, don't forget, you've added
four women to your household.
49
00:03:07,237 --> 00:03:10,605
Four women and 444 cartons.
50
00:03:10,641 --> 00:03:13,007
443.
51
00:03:14,211 --> 00:03:15,510
Marcia, how come
52
00:03:15,546 --> 00:03:17,690
you get two dresser drawers
53
00:03:17,714 --> 00:03:19,281
and I only get one?
54
00:03:19,316 --> 00:03:21,316
She wears fatter clothes.
55
00:03:21,351 --> 00:03:22,884
Longer, not fatter.
56
00:03:22,919 --> 00:03:25,487
Mommy says you fill out, not up.
57
00:03:25,522 --> 00:03:27,556
Oh, here's some more stuff.
58
00:03:27,591 --> 00:03:30,192
Oh, thanks, boys.
Just put it anywhere.
59
00:03:30,227 --> 00:03:33,461
Oh, those three boxes by
the door go in the girls' room.
60
00:03:33,497 --> 00:03:34,962
We have to lug them in there?
61
00:03:34,998 --> 00:03:36,364
Yes, you do.
62
00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:38,344
When the time
comes, they'll help you.
63
00:03:38,368 --> 00:03:39,901
It's called family
cooperation, boys.
64
00:03:39,936 --> 00:03:41,936
You scratch their backs
and they scratch yours.
65
00:03:41,971 --> 00:03:44,784
I don't want any girl
scratching my back.
66
00:03:44,808 --> 00:03:46,648
Just wait a few years, shrimp.
67
00:03:46,677 --> 00:03:48,076
Okay, that's enough.
68
00:03:48,111 --> 00:03:49,977
Let's get going, boys.
69
00:03:51,648 --> 00:03:54,088
Here, let me help you.
70
00:03:57,921 --> 00:03:59,699
Boys, when you're
through with that,
71
00:03:59,723 --> 00:04:01,723
put these empty
cartons in the trash.
72
00:04:03,594 --> 00:04:05,727
I'll be back in a minute.
73
00:04:05,762 --> 00:04:06,939
I'll tell you what:
74
00:04:06,963 --> 00:04:09,163
I'll trade you 14
inches of closet space
75
00:04:09,199 --> 00:04:10,765
for an extra dresser drawer.
76
00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:11,800
Okay. It's a deal.
77
00:04:11,835 --> 00:04:12,867
What about me?
78
00:04:12,902 --> 00:04:14,514
One drawer is enough for you.
79
00:04:14,538 --> 00:04:17,572
What happens
when I start to fill out?
80
00:04:17,608 --> 00:04:19,452
I'll be married
and gone by then.
81
00:04:19,476 --> 00:04:20,520
Thank goodness.
82
00:04:20,544 --> 00:04:22,154
We've been waiting for those.
83
00:04:22,178 --> 00:04:24,613
Oh, we took our time
'cause this is so much fun.
84
00:04:24,648 --> 00:04:26,292
Where do you want this junk?
85
00:04:26,316 --> 00:04:27,360
It's not junk.
86
00:04:27,384 --> 00:04:29,028
My carton goes on this bed.
87
00:04:29,052 --> 00:04:30,096
Mine goes here.
88
00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:32,086
My carton goes on that bed,
89
00:04:32,122 --> 00:04:34,422
but nobody's got my carton.
90
00:04:34,458 --> 00:04:36,436
No, that one goes here.
91
00:04:36,460 --> 00:04:39,227
Would Your Royal Highnesses
care to make up their minds?
92
00:04:39,263 --> 00:04:42,464
Look, we've got enough trouble
trying to put these things away.
93
00:04:42,499 --> 00:04:45,300
Oh, that's a rotten
shame, huh, Greg?
94
00:04:45,335 --> 00:04:46,234
Yeah. All's we have to do
95
00:04:46,270 --> 00:04:47,380
is carry the cartons for you.
96
00:04:47,404 --> 00:04:48,414
Where's mine?
97
00:04:48,438 --> 00:04:50,605
Bobby's bringing that one up.
98
00:04:50,641 --> 00:04:52,707
I sure hope it has
more hair ribbons
99
00:04:52,743 --> 00:04:53,908
and stuffed animals.
100
00:04:53,943 --> 00:04:55,577
You're running
low on those things.
101
00:04:55,612 --> 00:04:57,879
There's no need to be sarcastic.
102
00:04:57,914 --> 00:05:00,848
Hey, this weighs a ton. Make
up your mind where you want it.
103
00:05:00,884 --> 00:05:02,662
Let's see now. That one goes...
104
00:05:02,686 --> 00:05:04,386
Goes right where he drops it.
105
00:05:04,421 --> 00:05:06,220
Yeah, do your own switching!
106
00:05:06,256 --> 00:05:07,722
It's heavy!
107
00:05:07,758 --> 00:05:09,056
What you got in it anyway?
108
00:05:09,092 --> 00:05:10,057
Don't you dare open that!
109
00:05:10,093 --> 00:05:11,904
That's unmentionables. Yeah.
110
00:05:11,928 --> 00:05:13,395
What's unmentionables?
111
00:05:13,430 --> 00:05:14,741
If we wanted to mention them,
112
00:05:14,765 --> 00:05:16,409
they wouldn't be unmentionables.
113
00:05:16,433 --> 00:05:18,065
Now, stop being so nosy.
114
00:05:18,101 --> 00:05:19,679
And go see if
there's anything else.
115
00:05:19,703 --> 00:05:22,236
Yes, madame, whatever you say.
116
00:05:22,272 --> 00:05:25,640
Boy, talk about being bossy!
117
00:05:25,676 --> 00:05:26,974
Boy, is this thing heavy!
118
00:05:27,010 --> 00:05:29,177
Just drop it anywhere,
Bobby, and come with us.
119
00:05:31,415 --> 00:05:33,114
Good-bye, dragon ladies.
120
00:05:47,798 --> 00:05:49,130
Excuse me.
121
00:05:50,166 --> 00:05:51,466
Oh, it's you.
122
00:05:51,501 --> 00:05:53,835
I'm collecting the empties.
123
00:05:53,870 --> 00:05:55,503
I told the boys to do that.
124
00:05:55,539 --> 00:05:58,072
At the risk of being
branded an informer,
125
00:05:58,107 --> 00:05:59,874
they walked off the job.
126
00:05:59,909 --> 00:06:01,175
Why?
127
00:06:01,211 --> 00:06:03,878
At the risk of being
branded two informers,
128
00:06:03,913 --> 00:06:06,914
I don't think they like
the working conditions.
129
00:06:06,950 --> 00:06:09,217
Leave them right there.
130
00:06:09,252 --> 00:06:11,419
It's collective bargaining time.
131
00:06:40,751 --> 00:06:42,316
Well, boys?
132
00:06:42,352 --> 00:06:45,030
We're sick of doing
things for them, Dad.
133
00:06:45,054 --> 00:06:46,554
"Do this. Do that."
134
00:06:46,590 --> 00:06:47,955
They're a real pain.
135
00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:50,057
Yeah. They're too bossy.
136
00:06:50,093 --> 00:06:52,594
And all that junk they
bring in the house...
137
00:06:52,629 --> 00:06:54,407
Dolls and stuffed animals
138
00:06:54,431 --> 00:06:56,342
and... and those hair ribbons.
139
00:06:56,366 --> 00:06:57,999
Thousands of hair ribbons.
140
00:06:58,034 --> 00:07:00,167
We're surrounded
by hair ribbons.
141
00:07:00,203 --> 00:07:02,771
Boys... now, listen to me.
142
00:07:02,806 --> 00:07:05,172
Before I ever proposed to Carol,
143
00:07:05,208 --> 00:07:08,376
the four of us had
a very long talk
144
00:07:08,412 --> 00:07:10,978
about Marcia, Jan and Cindy.
145
00:07:11,014 --> 00:07:13,147
Remember it?
146
00:07:14,418 --> 00:07:18,486
Now, I told you to speak then
or forever hold your peace.
147
00:07:19,689 --> 00:07:22,457
Now, who recalls what you said?
148
00:07:24,394 --> 00:07:25,593
Peter?
149
00:07:26,797 --> 00:07:28,830
It's kind of hard to remember.
150
00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:30,632
That was three months ago.
151
00:07:30,667 --> 00:07:33,401
Yeah, we were just kids then.
152
00:07:33,437 --> 00:07:35,236
Greg?
153
00:07:35,271 --> 00:07:38,339
We said we wanted
you to get married.
154
00:07:38,374 --> 00:07:39,974
That's right.
155
00:07:40,009 --> 00:07:45,012
And when I did, I promised
not only to love Carol
156
00:07:45,048 --> 00:07:47,148
but her girls as well.
157
00:07:49,118 --> 00:07:52,620
Well... I do love them.
158
00:07:52,656 --> 00:07:55,824
Okay, Dad, we get the point.
159
00:07:55,859 --> 00:07:58,137
From now on, we'll
really try to relate.
160
00:07:58,161 --> 00:07:59,204
Right, fellas?
161
00:07:59,228 --> 00:08:00,261
Okay.
162
00:08:00,296 --> 00:08:01,529
I'm ready to relate.
163
00:08:01,565 --> 00:08:05,166
I'll relate, too...
whatever that means.
164
00:08:05,201 --> 00:08:06,534
Good.
165
00:08:11,407 --> 00:08:12,907
Mike?
166
00:08:32,896 --> 00:08:35,196
Half of six-four...
Is three-two.
167
00:08:35,231 --> 00:08:36,564
Amazing.
168
00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:39,144
That shoe keeps
moving without a foot in it.
169
00:08:39,168 --> 00:08:41,435
Oh, Mike, you're
just splitting hairs.
170
00:08:41,471 --> 00:08:44,105
More evenly than
you're splitting closets.
171
00:08:46,843 --> 00:08:48,209
Trouble?
172
00:08:49,646 --> 00:08:50,857
His or hers?
173
00:08:50,881 --> 00:08:51,946
One of each.
174
00:08:51,982 --> 00:08:53,014
The bathroom.
175
00:08:54,350 --> 00:08:58,520
Carol, I am putting
you on your honor.
176
00:08:58,555 --> 00:08:59,721
Who? Me?
177
00:08:59,756 --> 00:09:01,389
Yes.
178
00:09:07,597 --> 00:09:09,263
You call this
sharing a bathroom?
179
00:09:09,298 --> 00:09:11,165
I call it sharing
a beauty parlor.
180
00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:13,379
Men. You want your
women to look beautiful,
181
00:09:13,403 --> 00:09:14,680
but you aren't
going to cooperate.
182
00:09:14,704 --> 00:09:16,504
I'll cooperate and
I'll throw all this junk
183
00:09:16,540 --> 00:09:17,505
right out the window.
184
00:09:17,541 --> 00:09:19,184
You do it and you'll
go right out after it.
185
00:09:19,208 --> 00:09:20,174
Oh, yeah? Yeah!
186
00:09:20,209 --> 00:09:21,175
All right, what's the trouble?
187
00:09:21,210 --> 00:09:22,321
Dad, would you look at this!
188
00:09:22,345 --> 00:09:23,678
I can't even find my toothbrush.
189
00:09:23,713 --> 00:09:24,857
Listen, you're the
two oldest kids,
190
00:09:24,881 --> 00:09:26,692
but you really ought to
take a lesson from the others.
191
00:09:26,716 --> 00:09:28,983
Now, they're getting
along just fine.
192
00:09:33,957 --> 00:09:35,322
Hey!
193
00:09:35,358 --> 00:09:37,036
Where did you get that?
194
00:09:37,060 --> 00:09:38,026
Out back.
195
00:09:38,061 --> 00:09:40,506
That belongs in our clubhouse.
196
00:09:40,530 --> 00:09:41,663
Bring it back!
197
00:09:41,698 --> 00:09:43,142
Finders, keepers,
losers, weepers!
198
00:09:43,166 --> 00:09:44,398
Bring that sign back!
199
00:09:44,434 --> 00:09:45,745
You'll have to catch me first!
200
00:09:45,769 --> 00:09:47,234
When I do, I'm
going to slug you!
201
00:09:47,270 --> 00:09:48,235
You wouldn't dare!
202
00:09:48,271 --> 00:09:49,236
Want to make a bet?!
203
00:09:49,272 --> 00:09:50,583
You'd better take that off
204
00:09:50,607 --> 00:09:52,117
by the time I count to three:
205
00:09:52,141 --> 00:09:53,675
One...
206
00:09:53,710 --> 00:09:56,544
I bet you can't
even count to three.
207
00:09:56,580 --> 00:10:00,281
Two... you don't scare me.
208
00:10:00,316 --> 00:10:01,360
Two-and-a-half.
209
00:10:01,384 --> 00:10:03,350
Hey, hey, what's
the arithmetic for?
210
00:10:03,386 --> 00:10:05,665
When I get to three,
I'm going to scalp her.
211
00:10:05,689 --> 00:10:06,654
Why?
212
00:10:06,690 --> 00:10:08,034
For wearing my outfit.
213
00:10:08,058 --> 00:10:10,091
I'm Little Owl, not her.
214
00:10:10,126 --> 00:10:12,526
Well, I think Cindy
makes a Petty Squaw.
215
00:10:14,130 --> 00:10:15,496
Yuck!
216
00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:18,866
Oh, this stuff makes me swoon.
217
00:10:18,902 --> 00:10:20,780
Give me back my "One I Love"!
218
00:10:20,804 --> 00:10:21,836
Make me!
219
00:10:24,741 --> 00:10:26,608
You give that back right now!
220
00:10:26,643 --> 00:10:27,653
Come and get it.
221
00:10:27,677 --> 00:10:28,710
Stop!
222
00:10:28,745 --> 00:10:30,277
That's what all girls say.
223
00:10:30,313 --> 00:10:32,780
Two-and-three-quarters...
Greg. Marcia.
224
00:10:32,816 --> 00:10:34,281
Greg Brady, you give that here!
225
00:10:34,317 --> 00:10:35,494
That sign belongs to us!
226
00:10:35,518 --> 00:10:36,484
Three!
227
00:10:36,519 --> 00:10:37,652
Bobby, wait a minute.
228
00:10:37,687 --> 00:10:39,754
Well... Stop it!
229
00:10:39,789 --> 00:10:41,601
Here's what it says
in the dictionary:
230
00:10:41,625 --> 00:10:45,960
"To share: to divide into
fair and equal portions."
231
00:10:45,996 --> 00:10:48,663
Well, I think that's fair.
232
00:10:48,698 --> 00:10:49,497
Mom!
233
00:10:49,532 --> 00:10:50,564
Mommy!
234
00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:52,000
Help!
235
00:10:58,141 --> 00:10:59,741
Alice, what do you call this?!
236
00:10:59,776 --> 00:11:02,076
Paradise, remember?
237
00:11:03,913 --> 00:11:05,557
When your mother
and I were married,
238
00:11:05,581 --> 00:11:09,350
the man said, "For
better or worse."
239
00:11:09,385 --> 00:11:11,585
We've had enough worse.
240
00:11:11,621 --> 00:11:14,188
Now, we're going
to have some better.
241
00:11:14,223 --> 00:11:17,536
Effective immediately,
we share...
242
00:11:17,560 --> 00:11:18,526
and share alike.
243
00:11:18,561 --> 00:11:20,773
Everything... bathrooms,
tom-toms, whatever.
244
00:11:20,797 --> 00:11:22,077
Got it?
245
00:11:23,332 --> 00:11:26,200
Good. Let's forget what
happened this morning.
246
00:11:26,235 --> 00:11:30,672
From now on, it's gonna
be all for one and one for all.
247
00:11:30,707 --> 00:11:32,173
All those in favor?
248
00:11:32,208 --> 00:11:33,841
Aye.
249
00:11:33,877 --> 00:11:35,621
Come on. All those in favor?
250
00:11:35,645 --> 00:11:37,178
Aye.
251
00:11:37,213 --> 00:11:38,546
That's better.
252
00:11:40,383 --> 00:11:41,661
Right this way, sir.
253
00:11:41,685 --> 00:11:43,651
What... what's this all about?
254
00:11:43,687 --> 00:11:45,586
You'll see.
255
00:11:45,621 --> 00:11:47,689
It's about... this.
256
00:11:47,724 --> 00:11:49,057
50-50.
257
00:11:49,092 --> 00:11:52,293
Naw... Well, your
speech really hit home.
258
00:11:52,328 --> 00:11:55,129
I wasn't talking about
you... well, primarily.
259
00:11:55,165 --> 00:11:58,432
Quote: "Effective immediately,
we all share and share alike."
260
00:11:58,467 --> 00:11:59,433
Unquote.
261
00:11:59,468 --> 00:12:00,568
You know something?
262
00:12:00,603 --> 00:12:03,938
I grow to like you more
and more every day.
263
00:12:05,341 --> 00:12:06,708
Dad, come quick!
264
00:12:06,743 --> 00:12:08,309
In the backyard!
265
00:12:16,552 --> 00:12:17,552
Mike!
266
00:12:17,587 --> 00:12:18,552
Hold it down.
267
00:12:18,588 --> 00:12:19,687
Hold it down!
268
00:12:20,724 --> 00:12:23,124
Look, Dad, look what
they did... curtains!
269
00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:24,125
And rugs!
270
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:25,226
Girl stuff.
271
00:12:25,261 --> 00:12:26,227
They totaled the place!
272
00:12:26,262 --> 00:12:28,129
Well, I think it looks lovely.
273
00:12:28,164 --> 00:12:29,975
Honey, it may
be lovely for girls,
274
00:12:29,999 --> 00:12:32,166
but not for a boys'
clubhouse, it isn't.
275
00:12:32,202 --> 00:12:35,269
Correction: boys'
and girls' clubhouse.
276
00:12:35,304 --> 00:12:38,272
Correction: boys' clubhouse.
277
00:12:38,307 --> 00:12:39,340
Mike?
278
00:12:39,375 --> 00:12:40,686
Okay, everybody
out. Come on, kids.
279
00:12:40,710 --> 00:12:43,355
Oh, Alice! Oh... Come,
on everybody out.
280
00:12:43,379 --> 00:12:44,690
Come on, kids. Come on.
281
00:12:44,714 --> 00:12:46,247
I want to see them fight.
282
00:12:46,282 --> 00:12:47,248
Out.
283
00:12:47,283 --> 00:12:49,643
Come on, kids.
Everybody, come on.
284
00:12:52,421 --> 00:12:54,133
Carol, there are certain places
285
00:12:54,157 --> 00:12:56,168
where women are
just not permitted.
286
00:12:56,192 --> 00:12:57,959
Name one. Just one.
287
00:12:57,994 --> 00:13:01,129
Boys' clubhouses and
men's locker rooms.
288
00:13:01,164 --> 00:13:04,465
That's two. Whatever happened
to share and share alike?
289
00:13:04,500 --> 00:13:06,067
Carol, this is different.
290
00:13:06,102 --> 00:13:07,235
How?
291
00:13:07,270 --> 00:13:08,680
I'm sure if the girls
had a doll house,
292
00:13:08,704 --> 00:13:09,915
and the boys
wanted to play in it,
293
00:13:09,939 --> 00:13:11,083
there wouldn't be any problem.
294
00:13:11,107 --> 00:13:12,173
Oh, yes, there would.
295
00:13:12,208 --> 00:13:14,608
If my boys wanted to play
in anybody's doll house,
296
00:13:14,644 --> 00:13:16,277
I'd take them to a psychiatrist.
297
00:13:18,047 --> 00:13:21,182
Look, there are times when
men want a place of their own.
298
00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:23,129
I still say that
girls have a right
299
00:13:23,153 --> 00:13:24,752
to anything that boys have.
300
00:13:25,889 --> 00:13:27,554
How about beards?
301
00:13:27,590 --> 00:13:29,490
That isn't funny.
302
00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:35,163
Oh, honey... I'm sorry.
303
00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:41,468
Boy, paradise is sure taking
a beating around here today.
304
00:14:10,599 --> 00:14:11,966
My feet hurt.
305
00:14:12,001 --> 00:14:13,400
I'm thirsty.
306
00:14:13,436 --> 00:14:15,236
Let's rest up and try it again.
307
00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:17,416
These picket signs
won't do any good.
308
00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:19,051
It always works at colleges.
309
00:14:19,075 --> 00:14:20,886
I don't want to picket anymore.
310
00:14:20,910 --> 00:14:22,076
Me, neither.
311
00:14:22,111 --> 00:14:24,671
Well, do you have
any better ideas?
312
00:14:25,982 --> 00:14:28,983
Girls, let's talk about
this clubhouse business.
313
00:14:29,018 --> 00:14:30,796
Maybe we can move
to South America
314
00:14:30,820 --> 00:14:32,220
and live with the Amazons.
315
00:14:32,255 --> 00:14:33,988
They're all women, aren't they?
316
00:14:34,023 --> 00:14:36,623
Yeah, but you got
to be over six feet tall.
317
00:14:36,659 --> 00:14:40,294
Boy, I bet they have
a big clubhouse.
318
00:14:40,330 --> 00:14:42,997
One thing's sure:
We're not gonna give in.
319
00:14:43,032 --> 00:14:45,432
We women have to
stick up for our rights.
320
00:14:45,468 --> 00:14:47,213
That's true, but let's think
321
00:14:47,237 --> 00:14:49,215
about men's rights for a minute.
322
00:14:49,239 --> 00:14:50,883
Now, girls, in
order to get along,
323
00:14:50,907 --> 00:14:53,285
sometimes you have
to compromise a little.
324
00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:54,876
And we'll never let 'em in.
325
00:14:54,911 --> 00:14:56,222
Never. Never.
326
00:14:56,246 --> 00:14:58,157
Never is a very
long time, fellas.
327
00:14:58,181 --> 00:15:00,714
Remember, these women
are living with us now.
328
00:15:00,750 --> 00:15:03,017
Yeah, but we're
fighting for a principle,
329
00:15:03,052 --> 00:15:05,152
for men to have a
place of their own.
330
00:15:05,188 --> 00:15:08,189
Well, did you ever see
a woman in the YMCA?
331
00:15:08,224 --> 00:15:10,724
Mrs. Carson, she
runs the whole thing.
332
00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:12,760
Oh, she's just a
secretary there.
333
00:15:12,795 --> 00:15:14,061
Now, listen, fellas.
334
00:15:14,097 --> 00:15:16,230
Let's just slow down a minute.
335
00:15:16,266 --> 00:15:18,565
Honey, there's nothing
to worry about anymore...
336
00:15:18,601 --> 00:15:19,879
I talked to the boys. And?
337
00:15:19,903 --> 00:15:21,435
I think I straightened them out.
338
00:15:21,470 --> 00:15:22,647
Oh, Mike, that's great. Yeah.
339
00:15:22,671 --> 00:15:24,116
How about that. How about what?
340
00:15:24,140 --> 00:15:25,417
Well, I talked to the girls.
341
00:15:25,441 --> 00:15:27,019
They understand
things better now.
342
00:15:27,043 --> 00:15:28,175
Is that amazing?
343
00:15:28,211 --> 00:15:29,955
Two great minds
with a single thought.
344
00:15:29,979 --> 00:15:32,380
Oh, nobody can say we
don't understand each other.
345
00:15:32,415 --> 00:15:34,659
Well, I'm glad you
were finally able
346
00:15:34,683 --> 00:15:37,018
to convince the boys
they were wrong.
347
00:15:37,053 --> 00:15:39,865
Honey, I didn't convince them they
were wrong, because they weren't.
348
00:15:39,889 --> 00:15:41,566
I just explained
how important it is
349
00:15:41,590 --> 00:15:42,868
to compromise with the girls
350
00:15:42,892 --> 00:15:45,004
no matter how wrong
they think the girls are.
351
00:15:45,028 --> 00:15:46,961
Well, who said the
girls were wrong?
352
00:15:46,996 --> 00:15:49,931
You did. You just said they
understand things better.
353
00:15:49,966 --> 00:15:51,665
Well, they do... I told them
354
00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:55,502
they have to learn to go along
with men's little idiosyncrasies.
355
00:15:55,538 --> 00:15:58,705
I see.
356
00:15:58,741 --> 00:16:01,075
And, uh, women don't
have any idiosyncrasies?
357
00:16:01,110 --> 00:16:03,289
Well, certainly,
but a different kind.
358
00:16:03,313 --> 00:16:06,447
A woman's idiosyncrasy is
right, and a man's is wrong?
359
00:16:06,482 --> 00:16:08,827
No, but a woman
has to be more flexible.
360
00:16:08,851 --> 00:16:10,184
Oh, come on, honey.
361
00:16:10,219 --> 00:16:12,453
A man's more
flexible than a woman.
362
00:16:12,488 --> 00:16:14,255
Huh! Says men.
363
00:16:14,290 --> 00:16:17,691
Do you get the feeling that between
the time I walked in here and now,
364
00:16:17,726 --> 00:16:19,160
something has gone very wrong?
365
00:16:19,195 --> 00:16:21,429
Yeah. Me, too.
366
00:16:23,967 --> 00:16:24,932
Hi, Alice.
367
00:16:24,968 --> 00:16:27,001
No fair peeking in
the pots before dinner.
368
00:16:27,036 --> 00:16:28,414
I wasn't gonna peek in the pot.
369
00:16:28,438 --> 00:16:29,403
Oh.
370
00:16:29,439 --> 00:16:30,737
I was gonna ask you a question.
371
00:16:30,773 --> 00:16:32,106
Go ahead, ask.
372
00:16:32,141 --> 00:16:34,408
Who do you think is
right about the clubhouse?
373
00:16:34,444 --> 00:16:35,576
The boys or the girls?
374
00:16:35,611 --> 00:16:37,678
I'd rather have you
peek in the pots.
375
00:16:37,713 --> 00:16:40,081
Come on, Alice. Who
do you really think is right?
376
00:16:40,116 --> 00:16:42,061
You want to know
what I really think?
377
00:16:42,085 --> 00:16:43,150
Yeah.
378
00:16:43,186 --> 00:16:44,496
I think you ought
to get out of here
379
00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:45,586
before I take sides.
380
00:16:45,621 --> 00:16:46,587
Oh, come on, Alice.
381
00:16:46,622 --> 00:16:47,899
I'm sorry, Greg,
I'm not gonna get
382
00:16:47,923 --> 00:16:49,534
in the middle of this
one. Out, out, out.
383
00:16:49,558 --> 00:16:52,078
Go in the backyard and
play ball or something.
384
00:16:57,233 --> 00:16:58,199
Alice...
385
00:16:58,234 --> 00:16:59,979
Sorry, Marcia, I can't
answer that question.
386
00:17:00,003 --> 00:17:01,668
But I haven't even
asked you anything.
387
00:17:01,704 --> 00:17:02,769
Oh, that's right.
388
00:17:02,805 --> 00:17:03,837
Go ahead, ask.
389
00:17:03,873 --> 00:17:05,017
Do you think the girls are right
390
00:17:05,041 --> 00:17:07,008
about the clubhouse,
or the boys?
391
00:17:07,043 --> 00:17:10,211
Like I said, sorry, Marcia, I
can't answer that question.
392
00:17:10,246 --> 00:17:12,146
Alice, are you a mind reader?
393
00:17:12,181 --> 00:17:14,115
Housekeeper. Same thing.
394
00:17:17,120 --> 00:17:18,219
Alice, please.
395
00:17:18,254 --> 00:17:19,264
Sorry, Mrs. Brady,
396
00:17:19,288 --> 00:17:20,699
no way will I get involved
397
00:17:20,723 --> 00:17:22,334
in the great clubhouse debate.
398
00:17:22,358 --> 00:17:23,869
But, Alice, I need your help.
399
00:17:23,893 --> 00:17:26,427
When you two promised
to love, honor, et cetera,
400
00:17:26,462 --> 00:17:27,761
I promised to butt out.
401
00:17:27,796 --> 00:17:29,508
Well, I'm granting you immunity
402
00:17:29,532 --> 00:17:31,477
to butt back in,
with no reprisals.
403
00:17:31,501 --> 00:17:33,534
I'll handle the
really big decisions...
404
00:17:33,569 --> 00:17:34,880
Like how much
butter on the toast,
405
00:17:34,904 --> 00:17:36,882
how long to bake the
potatoes, that sort of thing...
406
00:17:36,906 --> 00:17:40,074
But when it comes to trivia,
like how to salvage a family
407
00:17:40,109 --> 00:17:41,808
that's up to you and Mr. Brady.
408
00:17:41,844 --> 00:17:43,977
Alice, I need your hel...
409
00:17:47,016 --> 00:17:49,683
Excuse me, it's time for
me to start something.
410
00:17:49,718 --> 00:17:51,252
Maybe I'll make it dinner.
411
00:17:53,022 --> 00:17:55,989
What did you mean,
"Alice, I need your help"?
412
00:17:56,025 --> 00:17:57,836
"Help"? Oh, I
didn't say, "help."
413
00:17:57,860 --> 00:18:00,039
I said, "hel," like in helmet.
414
00:18:00,063 --> 00:18:01,828
"Alice, I need your helmet?"
415
00:18:01,864 --> 00:18:03,230
Come on.
416
00:18:03,266 --> 00:18:06,200
I happen to belong
to the National Guard,
417
00:18:06,235 --> 00:18:09,937
and we're having a meeting
a week from Wednesday.
418
00:18:22,685 --> 00:18:24,996
Please, Sandra,
can't we work this out?
419
00:18:25,020 --> 00:18:26,065
No, lance.
420
00:18:26,089 --> 00:18:27,288
It's too late.
421
00:18:27,323 --> 00:18:29,856
You treated me like
a second-class citizen
422
00:18:29,892 --> 00:18:31,024
for the last time.
423
00:18:31,060 --> 00:18:33,094
I'll do anything
to win you back.
424
00:18:33,129 --> 00:18:34,728
Anything, Lance?
425
00:18:34,763 --> 00:18:35,796
Anything.
426
00:18:35,831 --> 00:18:36,863
Very well, then.
427
00:18:36,899 --> 00:18:39,333
My price is... yes, Sandra?
428
00:18:39,368 --> 00:18:43,036
My price is...
equality in the home.
429
00:18:43,072 --> 00:18:44,271
Equality?
430
00:18:44,307 --> 00:18:46,407
Yes, Lance, equality.
431
00:18:46,442 --> 00:18:50,444
You must treat me
not as a possession,
432
00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:52,246
but as an equal.
433
00:18:52,281 --> 00:18:54,315
Done, Sandra.
434
00:18:54,350 --> 00:18:55,549
Done.
435
00:18:57,019 --> 00:18:59,098
Like I said, I
promised not to butt in,
436
00:18:59,122 --> 00:19:01,400
but when Sandra said
"equality" to Lance,
437
00:19:01,424 --> 00:19:02,634
I just lost my head.
438
00:19:02,658 --> 00:19:05,025
Alice, there's one
major flaw in your plan.
439
00:19:05,060 --> 00:19:07,461
I would make it a complete mess.
440
00:19:07,497 --> 00:19:09,497
That's the whole idea.
441
00:19:09,532 --> 00:19:11,332
It is?
442
00:19:11,367 --> 00:19:12,666
Yes, it is!
443
00:19:12,701 --> 00:19:15,869
Alice, you've got the
mind of a master criminal.
444
00:19:15,904 --> 00:19:17,104
Oh.
445
00:19:17,140 --> 00:19:18,439
Thank you, Mrs. Brady.
446
00:19:19,442 --> 00:19:21,575
Well, Alice, you've
done it again.
447
00:19:22,612 --> 00:19:23,755
What would I do without you?
448
00:19:35,224 --> 00:19:36,690
Oh, that's fine, Jan.
449
00:19:36,725 --> 00:19:39,926
Cindy, you can measure that
piece of wood for Mommy, okay?
450
00:19:46,569 --> 00:19:47,768
What's up, Dad?
451
00:19:47,803 --> 00:19:49,770
I see it, but I
don't believe it.
452
00:19:49,805 --> 00:19:50,904
What? That.
453
00:19:59,248 --> 00:20:00,359
What are they doing?
454
00:20:00,383 --> 00:20:01,893
It looks like they're
trying to build something.
455
00:20:01,917 --> 00:20:02,949
Yeah, but what?
456
00:20:02,985 --> 00:20:04,363
Maybe a girls' clubhouse?
457
00:20:04,387 --> 00:20:06,331
A clubhouse?! That's hysterical.
458
00:20:06,355 --> 00:20:07,321
Let's watch them.
459
00:20:07,356 --> 00:20:08,722
Okay, but let's be careful.
460
00:20:08,757 --> 00:20:10,724
I don't want them to see us.
461
00:20:12,428 --> 00:20:14,695
Ha, there.
462
00:20:14,730 --> 00:20:17,764
Well, the floor goes
in next... I think.
463
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:19,311
Shouldn't the sides come first?
464
00:20:19,335 --> 00:20:21,168
What's the difference?
465
00:20:21,204 --> 00:20:22,670
Bring me a 2 x 4.
466
00:20:22,705 --> 00:20:24,071
What's a 2 x 4?
467
00:20:24,106 --> 00:20:25,839
A skinny 4 x 4.
468
00:20:25,874 --> 00:20:27,874
This looks like a good one.
469
00:20:31,180 --> 00:20:32,924
We've got an audience, girls.
470
00:20:32,948 --> 00:20:33,992
Make it good.
471
00:20:34,016 --> 00:20:35,482
Bring it on over here.
472
00:20:35,518 --> 00:20:37,358
We'll put it on the sawhorse.
473
00:20:41,824 --> 00:20:43,957
Ah... There.
474
00:20:47,430 --> 00:20:49,396
Sorry, Mother.
475
00:20:49,432 --> 00:20:51,410
There are some pieces
of wood over there
476
00:20:51,434 --> 00:20:53,100
you girls can put together.
477
00:20:53,135 --> 00:20:54,335
Here are the nails.
478
00:20:57,005 --> 00:20:58,772
This is better than
Laurel and Hardy.
479
00:20:58,807 --> 00:21:00,085
Yeah, and no commercials.
480
00:21:00,109 --> 00:21:01,286
It's the first
building in history
481
00:21:01,310 --> 00:21:03,255
that needed to be condemned
before it was even built.
482
00:21:03,279 --> 00:21:06,313
Well, just grab a handful
and get started, okay?
483
00:21:06,349 --> 00:21:08,616
Cindy, you stay here
and help Mommy.
484
00:21:14,123 --> 00:21:15,256
There.
485
00:21:19,562 --> 00:21:20,794
Be careful, Mommy.
486
00:21:20,829 --> 00:21:22,630
We're running short on saws.
487
00:21:26,702 --> 00:21:29,470
That woman just
destroyed a brand-new saw.
488
00:21:29,505 --> 00:21:31,516
That's nothing. You should
have been here earlier
489
00:21:31,540 --> 00:21:34,241
when Jan was pounding
nails with your golf clubs.
490
00:21:34,277 --> 00:21:35,277
Golf clubs?
491
00:21:35,311 --> 00:21:36,677
Only the nine iron.
492
00:21:36,712 --> 00:21:40,414
Okay, girls, time
to put up the wall.
493
00:21:42,485 --> 00:21:44,050
Here we go.
494
00:21:46,021 --> 00:21:47,755
That's it.
495
00:21:49,925 --> 00:21:52,125
Okay, right there.
496
00:21:52,161 --> 00:21:53,694
Now, you hold it while I...
497
00:21:53,729 --> 00:21:56,029
while I hammer the nail in.
498
00:21:59,234 --> 00:22:01,835
Oh, my, it almost hit Cindy.
499
00:22:01,870 --> 00:22:03,837
This isn't funny anymore.
500
00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:13,246
Greg, you and Peter,
501
00:22:13,282 --> 00:22:14,926
start tearing apart
this alleged frame.
502
00:22:14,950 --> 00:22:17,318
Bobby, we need all
the nails you can find.
503
00:22:17,353 --> 00:22:19,030
Okay, girls, don't
just stand there.
504
00:22:19,054 --> 00:22:20,387
Working men get thirsty.
505
00:22:20,423 --> 00:22:22,222
We need lemonade and lots of it.
506
00:22:22,257 --> 00:22:23,590
Mike, I feel guilty.
507
00:22:23,626 --> 00:22:24,626
Yeah, honey.
508
00:22:24,660 --> 00:22:26,237
Really, I have a
confession to make.
509
00:22:26,261 --> 00:22:27,461
You tried to trick us.
510
00:22:27,496 --> 00:22:28,696
We tried to trick you.
511
00:22:28,731 --> 00:22:30,971
I mean, the whole thing
was nothing but a scheme...
512
00:22:32,468 --> 00:22:34,468
Honey, you are a
wonderful mother
513
00:22:34,503 --> 00:22:35,536
and a great wife,
514
00:22:35,571 --> 00:22:37,371
but you are a rotten actress.
515
00:22:37,406 --> 00:22:39,751
Well... two out
of three isn't bad.
516
00:22:41,076 --> 00:22:43,076
I'll go help with the lemonade.
517
00:22:44,313 --> 00:22:46,613
Okay, men, I want
to hear the sounds
518
00:22:46,649 --> 00:22:48,749
of a real building being put up.
519
00:22:54,423 --> 00:22:57,524
The credit for this fine
new girls' clubhouse
520
00:22:57,560 --> 00:23:00,227
belongs to all those
who participated,
521
00:23:00,262 --> 00:23:01,562
and looking around,
522
00:23:01,597 --> 00:23:03,442
that seems to
include everyone...
523
00:23:03,466 --> 00:23:04,631
plus, my buddies
524
00:23:04,667 --> 00:23:06,933
at the paint store
and the lumberyard.
525
00:23:06,969 --> 00:23:09,370
I think we learned
some valuable lessons:
526
00:23:09,405 --> 00:23:12,072
The importance of sharing
527
00:23:12,107 --> 00:23:16,744
and the importance of
respecting each other's privacy.
528
00:23:18,113 --> 00:23:21,482
So... it is with great
pride that I now declare
529
00:23:21,517 --> 00:23:25,519
this new girls' clubhouse
officially dedicated.
530
00:23:25,554 --> 00:23:27,474
Yay! Yay! Yay!
531
00:23:36,932 --> 00:23:39,400
What happened? What happened?
532
00:23:39,435 --> 00:23:40,634
Bobby, come here.
533
00:23:40,669 --> 00:23:42,770
When we ran out
of nails and boards,
534
00:23:42,805 --> 00:23:44,204
and you got some for us,
535
00:23:44,239 --> 00:23:45,939
where did you get the nails?
536
00:23:45,974 --> 00:23:48,086
Well, I pulled
them out of there.
537
00:23:48,110 --> 00:23:49,150
You dummy!
538
00:23:49,177 --> 00:23:50,422
Wait a minute! It's all right.
539
00:23:50,446 --> 00:23:51,823
We can use this clubhouse!
540
00:23:51,847 --> 00:23:53,046
Good idea! Yeah!
541
00:23:53,081 --> 00:23:55,248
Wait a minute, this one's ours!
542
00:23:55,284 --> 00:23:57,362
Yeah, the girls' clubhouse.
543
00:23:57,386 --> 00:23:58,764
We're supposed to
share things, remember?
544
00:23:58,788 --> 00:23:59,931
Share and share alike.
545
00:24:03,292 --> 00:24:07,193
Mike... I guess it's
all part of paradise.
546
00:24:29,485 --> 00:24:30,962
You ought to see those
kids sitting in there,
547
00:24:30,986 --> 00:24:33,219
watching television like
nothing had ever happened.
548
00:24:33,255 --> 00:24:34,299
Be careful, Mr. Brady.
549
00:24:34,323 --> 00:24:36,200
They might just be
recharging their batteries.
550
00:24:36,224 --> 00:24:37,402
Oh, I don't think so, Alice.
551
00:24:37,426 --> 00:24:39,404
Not after all the lessons
they learned today.
552
00:24:39,428 --> 00:24:42,429
She's right. From here on out,
it's gonna be smooth sailing.
553
00:24:42,465 --> 00:24:44,431
Hey, we were
watching a ball game!
554
00:24:44,467 --> 00:24:46,232
Well, we want to
see the travel show.
555
00:24:46,268 --> 00:24:47,434
But it's a tie score!
556
00:24:47,470 --> 00:24:49,703
Did you say, "smooth sailing"?
557
00:24:50,906 --> 00:24:52,840
Okay, we sprung a leak.
36063
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